Category Archives: Ascension

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Breathing in Light

After asking to lucid dream, I drifted off into semi-lucid states where I would be in a dream state and then shift into full lucidity. This happened more times that I can count so I will relate what little I can remember.

I recall hearing music and talking with someone in the in-between. As I listened, a dream took form and I took part in it knowing I was dreaming but not attempting to take control of it.

In one instance I was shifting in and out of my physical body. It was as if I were being shown how to easily move from one state into another. I have had this happen previously but in the past it was more like I was being pushed into these other states rather than doing it on my own. This time, however, I was aware of my ability to do this and was quite comfortable with it.

I shifted into a scene where I was inside a dark hallway with a staircase. I hid behind the staircase as I observed an individual who was to take me somewhere. I was not fully lucid here and felt a strange apprehension about where this man was going to take me.

I shifted back into my body and felt the familiar vibrations that indicated I was superimposed over my body. I felt I should focus on how my body felt and so I did. I scanned it for energy inconsistencies but found none other than a few slight pools of energy in a few areas.

I shifted back into a dream scene. This time I was in a car heading toward a church. I decided to go into the parking lot and heard someone honk at me. Looking to see who it was, I saw a man shaking his fist at me. I thought, “How angry these church people are”.

A person ushered me into the parking lot and I waited. While inside the vehicle and became very lucid and began to sing a song by Pink. I heard myself singing and felt my vibration raise. I asked aloud about the car I was in, “Why am I seeing the inside of this car all the time?” The dashboard was completely black with all kinds of unfamiliar buttons and knobs on it. It resembled the inside of a plane more than a vehicle and it was very familiar to me.

I then became apprehensive again, but I’m not sure why. I returned consciousness to my body and felt again that I should shift my focus. I shifted it back and forth between states and felt an odd energy in my body that was strangely familiar.

For some reason I began to take huge breaths of air and then I would hold them in and exhale slowly. When I did this I felt I was breathing in energy. The sensation of it was so amazing! My astral lungs filled with large amounts of pleasant, alive energy. It was as if I were breathing in Light!

I took several of these breaths of energy, relishing in the feeling. Each breath built on the last. I felt to be glowing and expanding. The energy was alive!

I knew that if I continued to breathe in this energy that I would go somewhere else, somewhere not of this world, somewhere higher in vibration. Home.

I took another deep breath and the energy came pouring in with greater intensity. I began to get excited as I felt my energy body pulsate and shake. I knew my astral body would break apart. I knew it was dissolving. I knew I was approaching a momentous breakthrough!

And I was ready, oh so ready! I let go entirely, accepting in all the Light with open arms.

Then I slipped back down into my physical body, the energy dissipating instantly.

I was not disappointed. I was comfortable and satisfied.

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Keeper of the Violet Flame

I had many visions this morning and also experienced a lucid transmission of healing and expansion. The memory of it is failing me at the moment for it seems that I am to forget most of it until it is appropriate to share it fully.

Keeper of the Violet Flame

I was awakened from a deep slumber at 12:30am. A bit disoriented, I had to tend to my youngest and then I was wide awake and full of thoughts about my work situation, one which I have covered in a previous post.

As I attempted to return to sleep, my attention was drawn toward a man in the left of my visual field. He was sitting on a bench as if waiting for me. I went to sit down next to him, and gave him a hug. I noticed I could see him quite clearly. He was wearing a long robe and held a wooden staff in his right hand. He also had a very long, gray beard that reached his waist. However, he did not appear to have any hair on the top of his head.

I looked at him and asked, “Who are you? Do I know you?” In response a memory came back to me from years ago. “Amoradon?” I asked. I felt confirmation. He said to me, “I go by many names”.

Then he said, “I am the Keeper of the Violet Flame“. I did not question him on this, but wondered why he would say it. I got no response.

He told me, “We will be working together”.

The conversation seemed to pause a while and my thoughts wandered. I was concerned about my work situation and I appealed to him for help in calming my thoughts. It was immediately that I felt to focus on my heart center and I was drawn to recall my dreams.

As I focused upon my dream, I realized I had been somewhere foreign – another planet in fact. I saw in front of me a vast, golden plain that spread so far that one could see the circular shape of the planet it occupied. In the center of this plain was a large, cream colored or gold building that resembled a flatter version of the Mayan pyramids.

I could not remember what was going on with me, but I knew that we had been discussing a great war and I was shown a map of this planet. An entire section was highlighted in red and it felt as if the people in this section had been infected with something, but it was not a disease. It was something that was akin to anger or aggression.

I recall laying down in a healing tank of some sort. Inside of it was water and it covered me completely except for my face. I recall there being lights but I don’t remember now what color they were.

In remembering this, my thoughts were interrupted by Amoradon. He said to me, “You will not have to leave them [my family] behind”. I was relieved to hear this.

He continued.

“We will Call you. You will go Home”.

And I asked, “And my family will come, too?”

He answered: “Yes”.

“How?” I asked.

“Mass consciousness [upload]”. The word “upload” was not the right word but there seemed not to be an appropriate substitution in our language. I saw in my mind a visual of consciousness rising upward, as if shifting into a higher vibration.

“Will everyone experience this?” I asked.

“No”, was his response.

As I thought about what had just been told to me, he interrupted my thoughts, “It is not what you think”.

I had been wondering if it meant I would leave my physical body and it would die. I felt this was not the case.

“You will always have access”, was his response to my thoughts. I knew this meant that whatever this mass consciousness “upload” was, it would allow me and others permanent access.

I felt I should relax and return to sleep. I asked to lucid dream since i knew astral projection was out of the question.

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Message from the Council of Many: Merging is Complete

When I awoke this morning, I felt my Council near. I asked to speak with them and one came forward from a group of 5. I was surprised that this occurred as I had doubted my requests would be honored.

In a dream I received yet another number, this time the number 522. I requested clarity on the number. I was told to remain patient. I also heard distinctly (and for the second time now), “The merging is complete”.

I felt I should allow for a more detailed message to come through. This was that answer:

We have entered into yet another stage of transition, one in which We are urged into solitude to find peace within. These are tumultuous times. As the Earth is inundated with Light, those of the Dark are either retreating into the background or growing more bold in their agenda. It is with purpose that we ask you to withdraw and observe this scene. Protection is given. Thus, you will not be affected by the negative energies that flow out of the chaotic mesmerism of those who have yet to awaken.

The merging of two of your soul aspects is complete. At this time there is a joining of intention and a recognition from within your True Self of this new Identity. In time it will flower with a bloom, unlike any you have witnessed, thereupon.

It is a normal condition of this state that you will feel from within a certain unusual yet familiar welling. This welling up is recognition of that which is your Divine Purpose; an initiation of sorts that will surface at the right moment in time. It is similar in feeling to what one experiences when saying, “It’s on the tip of my tongue”. The information is there but not readily accessible….Yet. As with those moments in life when memory eludes you, the moment will also come when memory is regained and full comprehension of that which was lost will be returned to you.

At this time we ask of you patience. Trust in the process and the Plan. You are and have been beautifully fulfilling your role in this unfolding.

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Percolation and Transmutation All Over Again

Percolate. Transmute. Rinse. Repeat.

The energy peaks, then subsides. Peaks. Subsides. Peaks. Subsides.

You get the idea.

This is the process that raises one’s vibration. It is slow and intentional. It is the reason we feel so often like we are on a roller coaster. Yet, if you have noticed, the roller coaster feeling has lessened. The intense high’s and low’s are leveling out.

Our cycles are changing as well. Our physical body cycles such as our sleep cycle, dream cycle, circadian rhythm, and biorhythms are changing. This is also true of Mother Earth and can be seen in nature such as shifts in migration patterns, weather cycles, and ocean currents. 

We are also practicing, preparing, for a different shift, one into a higher vibration, a peak vibration, which has yet to arrive. There is talk that we have entered into 5D. In actuality, the shift into 5D is individual and not a “mass event”. What in fact has occurred is that we have reached a point in vibration where we now have access to 5D, when before the highest we could sustain was 4D. Just having access does not, however, mean that we live there nor does it mean we are even capable of sustaining this level of vibration for long periods of time.

I am told very, very few are able to access this vibration at this time and those who do, do so with significant assistance.

What is important here is that 5D is now accessible to the human biological organism via its operating components. In other words, a specific number of those occupying human bodies have recovered ability enough to access this vibration now.

Do not focus on whether you yourself have entered yet into this vibration for that is not the concern nor will it ever be. Focus instead on the progress you have made; the leaps and bounds in spiritual evolution you have made and the ones you will yet to make. This is to be celebrated. 

Many of you have reached a point in your transition where you are attending “class”, for lack of a better descriptive word. Your memory of these events will be limited, though some will have full awareness of their attendance. These classes are initiations that will act as triggers for movement into 5D. In these classes you will practice crossing dimensions and the maintenance of multiple dimensional experience, the results of which will prepare you for the transition into higher states of awareness and Being.  

Your Star brothers and sisters are already celebrating the coming of the Great Age when they (we) will finally be reunited. There is great joy in your hearts, in our hearts, as we come ever closer to this reunion. Enjoy this moment for it is one that has been anticipated for many a millennia.

Note: This post was not intended to be a channel but became such as it was written. I have not edited it to show where I speak and the collective speak. The experience of writing it is curious to me because as it flowed out of me my heart chakra felt to be moving up into my throat and out beyond the limits of my body. I literally felt my energy “rising up” into my third-eye and crown in the moments that the collective came through and my entire body began to vibrate. An amazing feeling!

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It Has Begun

I’ve been up since 3:30am.

I was having a cool semi-lucid dream where I was running along a country road alone in the evening. The sun was setting and I decided to turn around before it got too dark. As I turned, I saw a mother javelina (wild pig) with her piglets. I avoided her, knowing they can be fierce.

As I ran I saw another mother pig and her babies. And another after that. One turned around and acted like she was going to follow me. I made a huffing noise at her to keep her at bay. Then I stopped and decided to confront her. I turned toward her and that is when I was awakened.

I heard my guide say, “It has begun”.

I heard the song, “Age of Aquarius” and began singing it in my head. I couldn’t get it out of my head.

Not interested in waking up, I told my guide to please let me just dream the message. I said, “I want to sleep”.

As I began to drift, I heard, “On the eve of the full moon”.

This woke me again. I knew the entire message was to expect something to begin on the eve of the full moon. “Is this considered the eve or is it tomorrow night?”, I wondered to myself.

Settling, I began to drift off again.

I heard, “Veinte-four”.

I knew this meant, “24” and wondered why they said it in partial Spanish. What is with me always hearing Spanish?

I drifted once again and heard, “There is a test in 24 hours. Are you ready?”.

I awoke, and responded, “I guess so”. Then I told this voice (I didn’t recognize it), “Please let me sleep”.

Again, I drifted.

Then very distinctly I heard, “A second wave is coming”.

“What?” I thought back, wide awake yet again.

“What does this wave mean? What is going to happen?” I wondered.

Restless, I began to drift again.

Then I heard very clearly, “Re-Creation – the fruits of hybridization”.

Awake yet again I caught the phrase thought, “That sounds like something Bashar would say”.

I tried to go back to sleep but felt that I needed to write it all down. “Maybe then you will let me sleep?” I thought.

After writing it down, I tried to sleep but couldn’t. I felt the urge to just get up and write down my questions and the answers I received. I chose not to, hoping instead that I would get some sleep.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked.

“To prepare you”, he said.

“Okay, okay, I’m prepared already!” I thought back to him. “Can I please get some sleep now?”

“You don’t need sleep”, I heard in response to my thought. For some reason I knew this to be true.

Then I asked, “When is the next ‘wave’?”

I heard, “January”.

I felt I should write it down. I didn’t and told my Team (who I could feel distinctly by this time), “I will remember it when I write down the message about the second wave”. I nearly forgot it despite this, though.

Continuing, my thoughts went back to the information I had just received. I knew these “waves” were waves of energy that contained messages, or “transmissions”.  In response to this memory, I was told these transmissions act as memory triggers for the Starseeds. With this, I saw the familiar vision of millions of tiny stars falling to the Earth – not meteorites but Beings from the stars. I asked, “How many [Starseeds] are there?” I heard back, “4 million”.

Unfortunately, I did not get back to sleep. My youngest awoke and began to run through the hallway screaming and running into doors in anger. I had to get up and hold him. I wondered as I held him if he was a Starseed. Perhaps he is receiving the transmissions, too? Maybe that is why he is so clingy and possessive of me. He thinks he is going to lose me.

I tickled his tiny toes and snuggled up against him for the next 45 minutes as he drank his bottle and played with my hands, clasping and unclasping my finger. “There is nothing more wonderful than this”, I thought. “Perfection”.

A Sign

Later in the morning, after I had long given up on sleep, I saw something tiny on the floor. Curious, I picked it up. It was a teeny, tiny perfectly square piece of paper. On it was printed a triangle and inside it was the number 5. I thought about it being significant but then nearly threw it out, thinking I must be making it up. Yet I had the feeling it was significant in some way. So I snapped a picture of it and posted it to FB.

Not long after I posted it, I received input from a friend. She said the 5 could be for the 5th dimension but also that the symbol could be something called the Yahyel – the 5th hybrid race, each one represented by a triangle. She explained that it came from Bashar whose civilization is the 3rd hybrid race.

You can’t get anymore confirmation than that now can you? Wow.

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Aborted OBE and Messages

Upon waking this morning yet again at a very early hour, I called out to my Team to please help me understand all that had been transpiring over the past few days.

This is what I was told:

  • There is currently a “transmission” being received. I am “processing” this transmission.

I actually received this message more than once. There was simply the word “transmission” followed by a visual of the Earth and space implying this transmission was in the form of energy. I connected it immediately to “Wave X”.

  • My role now is to wait and observe; to be patient and open to the changes coming.

I received this message via a song: All We Are by One Republic. Specifically this part of the song:

We won’t say our goodbyes
You know it’s better that way
We won’t break, we won’t die
It’s just a moment of change

Aborted OBE

This morning I asked to either astral project or lucid dream. I was granted the lucid dream option but kept gaining too much lucidity, ultimately exiting my body and being told, “No” and coming right back into it. The message was that I needed to observe what I was being shown while in the lucid dream.

While in the lucid state I was shown a letter written by me from when I was the age of 5. I read the letter aloud in the dream and was astonished by what it said. Though I cannot remember it word for word now, I recall the what it was about. I was recounting contact with my Team when I was 5 years old. In it I was explaining to the reader how this contact was made and how I was to not remember it until a later date.

I came out of this lucid experience quite suddenly from the shock of reading it. I immediately felt the memory of it fade, like it was not really me, yet I knew it was and that it had happened. The conclusion I drew was that I had been “contacted” at that time to prepare me for later periods of similar contact. I had a strange sensation with this memory that part of me rejected. I still do not remember the specifics of the letter but I know how it made me feel.

Empty Plate

As I continued to experience the lucid state I kept seeing a repeating picture of an empty plate. Sometimes it would have the remains of food on it such as chicken bones and pieces of salad. Other times it would be empty except for some crumbs. I came out of these lucid states remembering dreams that I had long forgotten from this week, dreams where I was walking around holding empty plates and not putting food back on them.

Shoes

I had a brief vision of a pair of small, white tennis shoes hung up on a hook. With it came the feeling of preparing to die. It shook me so much that I came back to full awareness questioning the vision. I received no answer except an urge from within to focus on my heart center, which I did automatically. I immediately experienced a wave of calm that radiated out from my core and I no longer cared about the vision I received.

Lost Memory

I had upon waking a memory of another conversation and written message. The memory was of seeing the planet Earth and discussing a technological tool that would help or hinder those who used it. In other words it could be a tool to help if used properly, or a tool of destruction if used improperly.

When I awoke I was mentally calling this tool by a name and I repeated it several times in an attempt to remember it. Unfortunately, all that remains now is a visual of this “tool” and the name and purpose of it is lost to me. I also recall being very excited about this tool and its potential to help mankind.

A Star Will Be Seen

I had a vision of a large and brilliantly white star in the sky. What was peculiar about the star was that it could be seen in broad daylight. Along with the vision I knew it marked the beginning of something. When I later asked if I was going to see it, I felt I would not. When I asked why, I was told it would be over Bermuda. I wonder if it has anything to do with the Bermuda triangle?

Starseed Origins

Finally, I am being asked to remember my Starseed origins and the experiences I had in May.

The specific memory I keep having from May is of an OBE in which I met my Council and a member of my group who had recently taken her life and prematurely left her incarnation. I had touched her face and said, “You are real. You feel real”, as if I was trying to convince myself that she was still very much real to me. Some hours after this OBE I was hit with the most anguish I have ever felt in this life. It felt like a part of me had been ripped out of me and I grieved heavily for about an hour. I was barely able to function. The grief was incapacitating.

As for my Starseed origins, I am receiving the memory of it and then questioning it, always returning to the knowing that it is Truth. Specifically, I keep returning to the fact that I have been in stasis. I Know this is fact and I wonder to myself, “How long have I been in stasis? I remember so many past lives on Earth. Have I been in stasis all this time? Did I get caught up in the reincarnation cycle and forget my true purpose here? Is that why I have so many lives?”

There is along with these memories of who I am a feeling that I am suppose to do something. It is not quite a nagging feeling, but more of a knowing feeling. It is as if a part of me is trying to come out but is waiting for the right time. And all the while I am writing this, I have a warmth spreading out from my heart chakra.

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Drawing Conclusions

So much has happened in the last two days that I am not sure where to start. I intended to write yesterday but kept feeling the time was not right, plus I was too distracted by family goings-on.

My communication with my Team has been high this whole week but has increased in frequency in the last few days. What is different about these communications is that I feel them throughout my Being. It is like an intense feeling radiating from my core and its pretty much non-stop. I also receive an sense that I will be communicated with directly prior to each direct communication. It is like I am getting a heads up that it is coming. Sure enough, upon heading to bed the communications start, continue through the night and into the morning.

My morning “briefings” have resumed to my irritation. My sleep has been so interrupted that I rarely feel rested in the morning, so receiving messages at 5am is not my idea of fun. The messages are strange as well, some I lose almost as soon as I receive them. It is like I am not meant to remember them yet. Others I receive but they are quite strange such as the suggestion I read the Book of Revelation. Just yesterday morning I received the specific message to watch a documentary called The Age of Aquarius. I was told it would answer some of my questions yet I really did not have any specific questions at the time. Not surprising I found a documentary as soon as I Googled it, but there was more to the title than I was given.

I have also been reading Dolores Cannon’s book, The Convoluted Universe. I was not given instructions to read this book, I just felt drawn to it. While reading, I came across some information that caused my heart chakra to pull very suddenly and triggered an intense recognition within me. There is mention in the book about Light Beings whose specific task is to help evolve beings on Earth. This is what triggered my reaction/recognition:

Some [Light Beings] will remain as they are. Others will have the ability to enter many human bodies. One light being will have the ability to enter ten human bodies at one time. And lighten the human body itself, to a progression of thought and spiritual growth that to this point was an impossibility…..This will be a transition made very simply. All that is needed is a desire to grow. Not a walking-in, not a taking over, but a blending, a merging, an adding to, a combining. An element being added that enhances but does not diminish.

I actually had to put the book down and stop reading at this point. It was the next morning that it was suggested I watch the documentary mentioned above.

Conclusions

I have come to some conclusions which I want to share with you:

The information in the Bible came from the same Source as the information which is behind the “ascension” or “shift”. The “God” of the Bible is in fact a creation from communications with humans by otherworldly beings which was necessary for the understanding of the people of this time on Earth.

I first recognized this connection while reading Revelation because I noted that John’s experience/vision was in fact an OBE. I then made the connection of the seals with ascension.

The second time I made this connection was while reading The Convoluted Universe. There was a mention that throughout human history ETs have been visiting Earth trying to help it along. They made themselves known and were viewed as Gods. They passed on information to help mankind advance, eventually choosing less obvious methods of communication (dreams, visions, etc).

The third time I made this connection was while watching the video. Though it is biased toward Christianity, I tried to remain unbiased as I watched. It occurred to me that the New Age movement and Theosophy specifically rang true to me and was not the Anti-Christ as depicted in the film.

You can imagine the questions going through my mind as I began to draw conclusions and make connections. I had difficulty accepting that the God of the bible was simply the way man characterized the many communications they had with ETs. Yet I could not dismiss it. It felt right and I had to throw out my limiting beliefs of God, religion and all I was raised with. Once I did that it made sense to me why I was led down this particular path to understanding. My Team wanted me to see who they are, who I am, and how this applies to what is currently occurring on Earth.

I am still processing all of this as this is just a small sliver of what has come to me over the past few days. I will write more in another post.

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Symptoms of Adjustment

I believe the “bone aches” or “body aches” have begun along with some other strange sensations and symptoms.

Throat Movement

Last night when meditating prior to sleep, I felt a new strange sensation. It felt like something was moving around underneath my skin. Like a ball of energy or a knot of something dense. It rolled around and I kept getting images in my mind of a tiny creature trapped under my skin trying to get out. It occurred at the site of my throat chakra and covered the entire area from my collarbone to my chin.

As soon as I noticed it, I got the heebie-jeebies (that’s what I call them). Basically I cringed. I wanted to move but I had a feeling I needed to focus on the feeling and allow it to run its course. I swallowed and felt no change. My body in that small area was literally moving!

Thankfully, it lasted no more than a few minutes. Had it lasted longer that I would have assumed I was dreaming an episode of Fringe. This is by far the most bizarre of all the manifestations yet!

Body Shaking

As the strange throat movement began to subside, I could feel my physical body literally shaking. It was subtle but enough for me to notice. I thought it strange but remembered I had felt it before, though not as intense. The sensation was similar to being in some kind of car that was idling really, really rough.

Ear Ringing

As I was becoming accustomed to the shaking (it really wasn’t scary, just weird), both of my ears began to ring. It was such a high pitch that I almost didn’t notice it except that it felt like there was pressure building in my ears similar to what one feels when going up in an airplane or deep under water. As soon as I noticed it, it diminished considerably. I believe it was because I sent out a thought saying, “Really? Can I go to sleep now?”

Strange Body Ache

As I tried to get comfortable and sleep, I found it near impossible to stay in one place. When I lay on my back, I had this itch to move along with a very uncomfortable feeling in the right side of my body. It was almost like I had restless leg syndrome just in my entire side.

When I lay on either side it was the same. The only time it seemed bearable was when I lay on my stomach.

Ache is not exactly the right word but it works in this instance. The feeling reminded me of trapped energy that made this area of my body feel achy if I didn’t move it. One time when I made myself stay still, the feeling intensified and then seemed to spread out and then diminish. I think this is why I was finally able to sleep.

Time Hiccup

At one point I “awoke” needing to use the restroom. I looked at the clock and it said 10:35pm. “That can’t be”, I thought. I swear it had been hours and hours. Yet I could not recall even falling asleep! In fact, I don’t know where the heck I had been in that hour since I fell asleep. Wait. Did I even fall asleep? I don’t think so. WTF?

There was a strange feeling accompanying this time hiccup. A feeling that I had been somewhere and done something. Amnesia? That is what it felt like. I knew something had happened but I had only blank space where it should have been in my mind.

The only other time this has happened to me was in 1989.

Interrupted Sleep

I awoke so many times last night, I have lost count. Every time I woke up it felt like I had not even slept. Yet the clock showed it had been a couple of hours since my last waking. I again could not remember what I had been doing in that span of time. I knew I had been asleep, though. At least it wasn’t total amnesia!

Memories

Throughout the day yesterday I had random memories surface from this life. Most of them were memories from this lifetimes. Memories associated with pain and upset, all of which I have inspected many, many times. This, I believe, is part of the purging.

  • Memory of when my best friend in high school began acting strangely and disassociating from me. Specifically when she refused to acknowledge me at lunch and sat with a group two levels below us. I sensed she was doing this purposefully and chose to sit alone. This happened for many weeks at the end of Senior year. At the time I was not “hurt” but went to a “safe place” in my mind, convincing myself that I was happy to be alone. Compartmentalization.
  • Memory of my first year in college during registration. My best friend and I had decided to go to the same college. When I saw her there she pretended she didn’t know me and brushed me off.
  • Memory of what it felt like to be married to my ex. It felt alien – like another person was in my body living that life. Yet I could feel what I felt like then. I felt lost and incomplete. So weird!
  • Recognition that I “removed” myself from emotionally intense situations. I did this by denying there was emotion or even a problem.

Little emotion accompanied these memories. Even when I tried to make the emotion come (such as with the first memory), I could not. I asked specifically to be allowed to view the first memory and what led up to it so I could view other viewpoints and see how others perceived me at that time. I have yet to be shown this (that I know of).

Messages

I asked this morning to project and knew that I couldn’t. The reason why was, “You are adjusting”. I asked how long this would take and was told, “One day”. I didn’t believe it.

I kept seeing notes written to me in my in-between states as I was dozing this morning. I also received messages about my progress: 2 of 5 (2/5), 3 of 5 (3/5) and 2 of 10 (2/10). Not sure what these signify.

I asked if the next activation was coming and was told yes. I asked if it would affect me and was told yes. It is to occur in October.

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Synchronization

This morning this was revealed to me quite suddenly when I responded to a comment on FB:

There is a major purging of karmic debts, past life and current life issues, going on right now. We are being encouraged to let go of old habits and patterns and move into the “new”. To do this we have to be fully present in our bodies and in the moment.

There are multidimensional cross-overs occurring. This happened to me all day yesterday, as if I was/am working on several aspects of myself and synchronizing them. I spent most of the day yesterday doing this and was aware of it happening as time kept hiccuping/slowing down/speeding up and in those moments things were revealed to be let go of.

I spent most of the day yesterday walking around in a strange state of in-between. Life seemed very dream-like for the most part. At times different aspects of my day would be suddenly very clear, as if they were plucked out of my “dream” and presented to me for analysis. When this occurred, it was like time slowed down and I was standing face to face with some detail or consideration for inspection.

Crying Baby

In one instance I was at Target randomly walking around, not really sure why I was there. I heard a very small infant crying and this caught my attention. Time slowed down.

I saw the mother walking with a very new newborn on her shoulder. From that point on, I was tuned to this child and his mother and the moments ticked by very slowly.

As I exited the store the mother was checking out and the baby was wailing louder and most insistently. The mother said, “We are leaving now. It’s okay” and walked out of the store. I followed behind, observing as she threw a baby blanket right over his face and he stopped crying.

I became overly concerned then that the baby would suffocate and I had huge sympathy for the baby. I watched as the mother walked to her car.

I contemplated this for a while. I felt “off” and analyzed why. What was it that was causing this feeling and this obsession with the baby? It was then that my memory was flooded with images of other babies, other lifetimes, other situations. I recognized this was being presented to me for inspection. When I let it go, the concern for the baby vanished and in its place was the thought, “Things like that happen all the time and they shouldn’t. Children are tossed away, put into trashcans, thrown into deep wells, slaughtered in front of their mothers. It doesn’t have to be like this. It won’t always be like this”. It was an understanding that humanity was ready to move past this; to take a stand. That I was ready to take a stand.

Synchronization

As the day progressed, the slowed time continued to occur in blips, each time revealing something for inspection. Communication came in knowingness and understanding. It was/is very surreal.

Later, as I watched T.V., I became suddenly tired, my eyes drooping and my head feeling heavy with energy. I wanted to watch my show, but it seemed I was being told not to. In fact, I got the feeling that I needed to lay down.

I finally conceded and went upstairs to lay down. When I did, I felt strong sensations in my body – physical ones that were unfamiliar and odd. Specifically, my eyes hurt. I wanted to shield them but even this did not help. I also had a strange feeling in my right side that is hard to describe. It was not in a specific place but it made every position I laid in uncomfortable. These sensations were especially noticeable if I laid on my back.

Eventually I must have fallen asleep because I heard distinctly: “Don’t question the question until it has been thoroughly analyzed”. This brought on full awareness and I could not settle back down. All the strange sensations had vanished.

It was only later today that all these events began to make sense. I am putting the pieces of me back together. They have been long scattered over many lifetimes, making the completeness that is me difficult to access in this physical incarnation. Each slowing down of time, each inspection of emotion and thought, each connection made brings back an aspect of the Self that was lost back into the whole. This is the synchronization of the Self. Piece by piece brought into alignment and made whole.

It is this completeness that is the goal.

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Odd Thoughts, Feelings and Sensations

After six weeks of eating vegetarian, I ate meat. As soon as I did I felt sick to my stomach and very, very full despite having not eaten much. When I lay down to sleep I had a strong feeling that my eating meat was going to affect my sleep, specifically that I would project. Turns out, I slept very well and awoke feeling rested which has not been the case all week. On top of that, I was able to project six times!

Interestingly, my projections were very unreal compared to my past experiences. They seemed fake to me, but I don’t know why. In the moment each occurred, they were indeed very real and very obviously OBEs. However, there was something that felt very “off” about all of them.

When I awoke from them I was not happy about having them. I have already written about the strong feelings I have now since having these projections. I feel that “someone” or some group of someones is purposefully trying to distract me from something through these experiences. I know this is completely out of character for me, but that is how it feels.

Odd Feelings, Thoughts and Sensations

For a while now I have been having thoughts of this life, this reality, being unreal. These thoughts are random and have been increasing in frequency over the past two months.

Examples of such thoughts:

  • I will look at the sky and feel very tiny, almost insignificant while at the same time feel to be watching myself from high above where I am three times the size of Earth. The resulting feeling is that I will disappear or disintegrate. Vanish. Poof!
  • Sitting with my youngest, I was fiddling with his hair and thinking how similar it felt to that of a doll. Then with this thought came a feeling that the experience I was having – the experience of motherhood – was not real and that all my relationships were similarly unreal. It is all pretend and the only reason for it existing at all was because I wanted it to.
  • At times my body will feel foreign to me. It is hard to explain but there is a sense that it is not mine; not me.
  • I also feel that I am being watched. By who I don’t know for sure. Sometimes I think it is Me and other times I swear I catch a glimmer of a person or a shadow moving past.

I honestly don’t know what to make of all this. I find it peculiar that my OBEs this morning had the recurring theme of death. In some my sister and mother were dead. In the last there were two heads poking out of the ground and I though instantly that they were dead. Is this a reflection of me feeling disconnected from this life and everyone in it? Is that why I had such a strange feeling when I woke up? What am I missing? What is happening to me?

I was warned that I would have strange thoughts and it is coming to pass. I was warned that I would feel different, similar to a newly hatched chick. I suppose that could be why my body feels foreign to me and why I am feeling so strangely alienated from my family; family whom I should have an overwhelmingly strong emotional connection to. It could be why I have such strange sensations in my body – I am overwhelmed by noises, the sun seems to sear my eyes and later in the day I want to keep them closed all day they are so tired, I have odd urges to be touched but at the same time I reject touch, I am anxious around people I don’t know and feel overwhelmed by their energy despite shielding myself from it.

On top of all this the line from a song is repeating in my head, “You’ve gotta take it on your own from here. It’s getting pathetic and I’m almost done here”. This comes from a Greg Laswell song, “Come Back Down“.

I am still not sure what the lines in the song indicates but it causes my heart center to pull when I think of it.

Whatever is happening, I hope the part of the song that says, “I’m almost done here” is a message that this will soon be over.