Category Archives: Astral Travel/OBE

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Short OBE

Welcome to 2024. Hoping it is better than 2023.

It’s been a while and I apologize. The holidays are not a fun time for me and I have been sick twice, once after Thanksgiving and once after Christmas. I also continue to have debilitating dry eye that causes me to limit screen time to only that which is necessary.

I could write a recap of 2023, but I don’t want to waste my time on a year that I would much rather forget altogether. I could write about what I feel lies ahead for 2024, but I prefer not to look ahead that far.

Today I am going to post a short OBE I was blessed with around 4am this morning. It is so rare that I have OBEs, lucid dreams or other experiences these days that I cherish them when they do happen now. Even if they are super short, like this one was.

Short OBE

I woke abruptly around 3:30am. After some time in a discussion with a guide (private, sorry), I asked to be allowed to fall asleep. I was asked, “Do you promise to do something about it?” I said, “Yes.” This seemed to be what was needed to release my mind and I fell asleep.

The next thing I remember is talking to someone. I don’t remember the conversation and it stopped the minute I began to focus on my surroundings. It was dark and I was outside. I walked past a church on my right. I couldn’t see it but I knew it was a church. In front of me, growing along the edge of a parking lot, were shrubs. I noticed a new one had broken through the concrete. It was almost past my knees it had grown so tall. I reached down and touched one of it’s waxy, dark green leaves. The leaf was nearly as large as my palm, cool to the touch and smooth.

Something about the feel of the plant caused me to pause. I turned to look at the church, but couldn’t see anything except the image in my mind. It was a small church with large windows. I turned back towards the shrub and decided to touch it again. This time I focused on how it felt. The cool, smooth leaf confirmed my suspicion. I thought to myself, “I’m out-of-body (OOB).” 

In recognizing I was OOB, I began to sense not only my astral body but also my physical body. They were superimposed and the sensation of it was familiar. I had nearly forgotten how it felt. I could shift from one to the other with just a thought. It’s hard to describe but it’s sorta like the energetic equivalent of jumping on a trampoline, one is heavy and pulling you down while the other is light and pulls you up.

I looked up into the darkness and decided I could see. My vision turned on immediately and the scene in front of me presented itself in full color. Seeing through closed eyelids never ceases to amaze me. It was not dark outside after all. I could see the church behind me more clearly and the glossy green leaves of the plants in front of me. The church was closed and no one was around. The area reminded me a small, suburban community.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold the scene because I became too excited. It had been too long and all I wanted was to explore; to feel the freedom and lightness I knew was within reach. 

I settled into my physical body smoothly and lay there a moment, hoping I would be able to return, but I did not. So, I ended up mulling over the OBE. The symbolism seemed to point to new growth amidst a situation in which no movement had been made in a long time (parking lot). The church was a reminder that a place of spiritual nourishment is within reach and has been this whole time.

Hoping I would be able to succeed again, I returned to sleep with the intent to go OOB. I did not.

Many dreams followed but I don’t have the ability to stare at this screen much longer than I already have.

Wishing you all the best in the new year.

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Dream: Taylor Swift and Matthew Perry

Very cool dreams last night and a short OBE at the end. 🙂

Dream: Taylor Swift and Matthew Perry

The dream began at Taylor’s. I asked her if she had any time alone and/or privacy and sympathized with her for the lack of these things. It must be difficult having a private body guard and entourage all the time. She invited me to go to a bar with her and some friends. I agreed. Mostly I remember Taylor with her long, blonde hair at this time, not so much the others involved or the scene.

The entire time I was acutely aware of the age difference between myself and the rest of the group. There were approximately five of us total. There was me, Taylor, another girl and two men. One of the men had dark hair and was quite handsome in a kind of foreign or exotic way. The other one looked a whole lot like Matthew Perry. 

We all sat together having a good time. I specifically avoided drinking any alcohol and was proud of myself for it. The others had plenty to drink and didn’t seem to mind that I didn’t drink. During this time I mentioned the age difference, saying that I was almost twice their age at 42. This error registered to me but I couldn’t figure out why and never correctly identified it in the dream despite my suspicions it was wrong. I also wished I were young again and thought back on my twenties and thirties contemplating how I would do things differently if I could do it again. Mostly, I missed my youthful appearance but when I mentioned this, the others reassured me that I still looked great, much younger than I claimed to be. In fact, they didn’t believe me when I told them my age.

At one point we were all at a piano. I think the exotic looking man was going to play or sing. My memory is mostly of looking down at the piano keys. Just above them, on the top of the piano, was a small, blue pill that looked similar to a sweet tart. It was wrap in such a way that I recognized it as a drug. I hesitated, wanting to eat it but reminding myself that I don’t do drugs. Eventually, I did take it but I don’t remember if I ate it. The pill itself had writing on it. I think it said MDMA (ecstasy). 

It was getting late and the bar was about to close. I couldn’t believe how awake I was and mentioned to the group how I am usually in bed by 9pm. The topic of discussion went to that feeling of connection one has with their people. I casually mentioned that I felt it with the two men there. Again, age was discussed and I remember someone else being there who was not one of the group. He was a man who seemed to be in a haze or cloud within the dream. He explained to me something in images more than pictures. I saw a staircase heading up. On the steps were various people at different stages. He explained that the strongest connections would be with those who occupied the same step as I did. Eventually, though, they would leave or I would and we would no longer occupy the same step. The steps each represented spiritual progress. Spiritual maturity, varied and was not related to physical maturity/age. I remember thinking it made total sense. 

Next, I recall reaching across and taking one of the men’s hands and asking him to act from his heart. His demeanor immediately changed and he got emotional, as did I. I did this with the second man also but he hardened himself, becoming noticeably stiff. I just held his hand longer, looked him in the eyes and asked him to focus on his heart. When he softened up, I smiled, tearing up at the wave of emotion I felt from him. Again, the man outlined in a haze in the dream, spoke, reminding me that I had the ability to see deeply into others and not to forget it.

Before leaving, I went to the bathroom on the other side of the bar. When I got to it, there was no door, only a thick, curtain that came down once inside. There was an additional white sheet on the floor for further privacy which I picked up and tossed over the other one to fill in any gaps. I turned towards where the toilet should be (I saw none, though) and heard someone behind me. When I turned around, it was Matthew Perry. He looked just like the news images of him, older with a sagging jawline. He was completely naked and smiling. He alerted me to my nakedness by saying, “Whoa! You’re beautiful!” I hadn’t been aware of my nakedness until that point and became briefly self-conscious but then didn’t care. Proud of my body, I stood facing him and said, “Stop it! I’m trying to put on my bra!” 

Around this time I began to get a bit lucid, specifically because I was standing naked next to Matthew Perry and I knew he was dead. The two didn’t add up. Just as I was recognizing I was dreaming, the man in the haze replaced the entire dream in my mind’s eye. He began asking me questions, specifically about how I felt in that moment, standing there naked. I remember being reminded of other dreams where I proudly ran around naked and at one point had to have a sheet put over me and be told to be careful. Nakedness = vulnerability. I felt a familiar all-over body buzz with the memory as well as a sense of rightness; a Knowing that this was my true state. 

The questions continued but I can’t recall them now. Instead, my memory is mostly in images and considerations. I felt amazingly good and requested a return to sleep. Surprisingly, I did.

Short OBE

I entered a lucid dream where I was with a young boy wearing clothing that reminded me of Peter Pan. lol We were getting placed in a giant sling shot. I was super excited. A big hand placed us in the sling shot and then it was pulled back very slowly, building the anticipation. Then the hand let us go and off we went. I was laying on my back, head faced towards the unknown, flying high over a super blue ocean below. I could see both the sky and the ocean below at the same time (360 degree vision). I saw the young boy arch downwards towards the water, but me, being heavier, continued to move in a straight line. I remember thinking, “I am dreaming and this is awesome!” I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of freedom in flight. Closing my eyes was probably the reason I came back to my body but I was still thrilled to have the experience.

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Dream: Lahaina

I was awakened at around 4am by loud thunder. It has been a long time since we’ve had rain in Texas so it was nice to hear. Unfortunately, I couldn’t return to sleep. My mind went to the various dreams I had a few days prior, premonitions of the rain to come. 

Dream: Lahaina

I must have drifted off at some point because I ended up in a semi-lucid dream. I was hovering over two children swimming in a cenote. They appeared to be my sons and memory of a trip with my whole family to Mexico came to mind. The reality is that only my daughter and I went on that trip, yet the alternative memory was just as real to me. I watched my two boys for a while. One dunked the other and the two fought over a high spot in the water upon which one could stand. 

The scene shifted and I was flying over a dirt path in a tropical area. I was aware of not having a body. I was just a point of consciousness. 

I could hear a woman singing in an unfamiliar language, repeating the same phrase over and over. Her voice was calming and the melody soothing. I recognized the language to be native Hawaiian. I heard/thought: Lahaina. I knew instantly that I was being shown something and should pay attention.

The woman continued to sing. I followed the trail to a grassy field overlooking the ocean. 

Then I was watching a group of people. They were preparing to build a memorial. I saw their plans. It was made of concrete and looked like a giant, oval pit with concentric circles leading to the top. I suggested they make their memorial from nature, perhaps digging into the earth, to avoid the use of unnatural, manmade materials. The group listened.

Again, I found myself floating along the dirt path, the woman’s voice singing the haunting melody. I began to cry sorrowful tears. I didn’t know the meaning of the words but I seemed to know that I was in a healing place; somewhere those who had died from the fire had gone to recover. It felt very much like a soul retrieval scenario, except I was not retrieving anyone. 

I followed the path for what seemed like a very long time. The haunting melody on repeat. I cried the entire time. The sorrow, pain and grief was just too much.

Eventually I became aware of my physical body but I did not awaken. I could hear a television from downstairs. It was way too loud and I thought one of my boys must have gotten up in the middle of the night to watch TV. Then I thought, “It’s noises-off.” I knew to ignore the sounds I was hearing. I intended to, and did, but did not go OOB. Instead, I entered a dream where I left my bed, went downstairs and into the living room intent on turning off the noisy TV. The living room was at my mom’s house, though, and the TV was super small. It was also an older TV, like from the 80’s. I grabbed the remote and turned it off, noting the regular TV was gone. I thought, “I wonder what happened to it?” I went to my mom’s room to check if she had the TV. Sure enough, it was mounted on her wall. 

Realizing I was dreaming, I instantly woke up. I cursed missing out on an OBE opportunity. I was just too tired and heavy with sleep.

I shifted in and out of sleep after that. I remember being downstairs and seeing my husband in the kitchen. He was staring blankly through me and seemed somewhat confused about where he was. I could sense a sadness coming from him but didn’t attempt to speak to him. He was asleep and I was not. 

I came instantly back to body awareness, recognizing I had been OOB. Again, I was too tired to take advantage of the opportunity. Sigh. 

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Lucidity in Dream: Searching for Retreat

Prior to bed I’d asked to have a week’s worth of OBEs because I so miss my adventures in dreamtime. I remember wishing I could just sleep through the week and have a continuous OBE. Oh how wonderful that would be!

Dream: Searching for Retreat

The dream began with me searching “online” for a retreat to go to. I didn’t see a computer screen but a black/blank space upon which my thoughts were projected. The first place I searched was the southwest and, after not seeing any that interested me, changed it to southeast. A Massachusetts retreat showed up, I remember thinking, “That’s not south”. I did look at this one more closely but was discouraged by the way it was set up primarily to make money. So, I tried “North America”. The results were a retreat located on the piece of land connecting North and South America – Panama I suppose. This time I thought, “No, not in another country.” Finally, I entered/thought, “The United States”. 

I shifted to a new scene. I was with a man who was a representative of a retreat center located in Arizona. He asked me why I selected his retreat and I said I knew someone in that area. I didn’t remember selecting this particular retreat, however. The man wore a tropical themed shirt and had a big smile and twinkling eyes. He said the retreat name but all I remember now is that it had Bora Bora in it (definitely not AZ). He asked me a lot of questions and we discussed what I needed from my time in retreat. I remember getting a bit sad and told him, “I can’t do it alone”. My thoughts went to my other half and the feeling of completion I felt. It seemed impossible that I would ever heal if I had to do all the healing on my own.

I was taken to my room but I don’t remember much about this part of the dream. 

Then I was walking outside looking at the retreat grounds. I walked past a very nice swimming area. It was clear it was intended for people with lots of money and somehow I recognized that if I was willing to spend enough money I could enjoy this area. I entered the swimming pool thinking, “I wonder how much for an hour. I would be willing to pay whatever they asked for time alone here.” I looked around me at the various others lounging in and around the pool. I thought it would be perfect for me if all of them were just…gone. A couple of women on the end of the pool glanced at me and I felt a weird vibe from them that suggested they didn’t want me there. Sighing because it was a feeling I was very familiar with, I exited the pool. I told my guide, “I need a retreat just for Projectors.” My thoughts were that this, and all the retreats I looked at, were created with Generating types in mind. Generating types were the very reason I needed a retreat!

I got out of the pool and walked towards a walkway leading to a lookout area. I couldn’t see what was below but I could tell I was up high. There was a couple at the end of the pier at the observation point. I paused and put my hand on the wooden railing. It was very solid and I could feel the wood grain under my fingers. I slid my fingers up and down it and thought, “It feels so real. I wonder if I am really here?” Momentarily I could feel myself in two locations, one in the dream and the other in physical reality. It was an odd feeling and I knew immediately that I was in both places and both were equally real. This came as pure Knowing and my reaction was disinterest. It was clear I was focused on the dream reality which brought me relief. I thought, “If only I could stay here forever.” This was my agreement to continue in the dream.

I walked towards the couple noting that the wooden railings were not permanent structures. It was clear it was still under construction. As I approached the couple I could sense their annoyance at my entry into their auric fields. I continued, indifferent to their “pain” at my interruption and walked past them. I stood on the far end of the observation point, trying to give them plenty of space in hopes their reaction to me would improve. Next to me on the railing I saw a phone, probably theirs. I ignored it and peered out into the darkness in front of me. Without seeing them, I could feel the couple grab the phone and leave, taking their uncomfortable energy with them. Sighing in relief, I continued to stare in out into the darkness. Melancholy washed over me and I felt myself shift back into my physical body.

When I woke I felt sad. Disappointed that I was still here in this physical experience and sad that there was nowhere in physical reality that would provide me with what I wanted and needed. 

I lingered a while, thinking of the dream experience, contemplating how I was feeling. It is hard to describe and the words that I want to use just don’t feel correct. I tried to will myself back to the dream and when I did this I heard a strange sound emanate from my upper chest. It was so loud it startled me out of my reverie. It sounded very much like a bullfrog call. Weird! I didn’t physically feel it and it was not from my throat or even the central part of my chest. It seemed to come from that area around my collarbones and I heard it from within, so not with my physical ears.

Dream: Black Thread

I was sitting with three others. We were sewing. I have no idea what we were sewing but I ran out of black thread. I asked the man sitting across from me if I could get more. He seemed like he was in charge; like a teacher. He turned to the man next to him and requested some of his black thread. The man hesitated, looked at me and then handed him some thread. It was thick and not typical thread so more like yarn. The teacher then held the black thread out to me. When I reached for it he handed it to the man sitting to my left. I turned and saw the man to my left take it. He looked down at it for a moment and communicated that he did not want that color. His communication was without words and came to me as a Knowing. I asked if we could trade. Maybe he needed another color? I suggested yellow and he seemed hesitant. I saw the thread in his hand change to yellow as he considered it. He then asked me if I preferred blue. I was very happy with this because I didn’t really want or need black either. The thread in his hand instantly turned blue and he handed it to me. Thrilled, I immediately embraced him and he smiled and embraced me back. 

I woke up wondering about the significance of the dream. My conclusion was that we were all sewing our life tapestries and I had grown tired of using black (sadness, depression). I preferred to add some color into my life. To me, blue is the color of vibrancy and life. It is my favorite color, but it is also the color of the throat chakra.

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OBE: Dust Devil

Amazing, unexpected OBE early this morning (2am).

OBE: Dust Devil

I found myself looking up at a hillside covered in various plants and trees. My mom was standing to my left. Amongst the trees was one that stood out because it was losing it’s leaves. At first it reminded me of a Magnolia tree until I saw how long the leaves were. I thought, It must be some kind of tropical tree.

My mom pointed towards the land saying, “Guess we should build you a cabin.” I remember thinking it was 1 acre of land. In response to my mom I said something regarding the location of the land as I was trying to figure out where exactly it was. In my mind I thought it was above my grandparent’s old home.

Above the tree that was losing it’s leaves I could make out a very light gray, cloud-like object that seemed to be forming into a funnel. I recognized it to be a dust devil and knew it was harmless. I pointed it out to my mom. Not long after, the dust devil became more defined and headed towards us. At the moment it seemed like we were both inside and outside at the same time. There was most definitely some kind of separation between us and the “outside” but it appeared completely see through.

When the dust devil was directly over us, the “building” we were in began to shift and rumble. I lost balance but didn’t fall – I just laughed. I turned towards the back considering looking out the “door” to see the dust devil better. As I walked towards the “door” I felt myself pulled upward with immense force and speed. It was as if a large hand grabbed me almost violently from behind. I was forced up at an angle into the sky where I could see my mom’s figure growing ever smaller below me. Shocked, I immediately yelled out, “I am out-of-body! This is a dream!” Thrilled and now fully aware, I willed myself to stop. It worked. I hovered above my mom for a second and then willed myself back towards her. It was very difficult to move against the pull of the unseen force but I managed to do so just long enough to yell to my mom, “Come on Mom!” I was inviting her to come fly with me but she just looked up in my direction. I don’t even know if she could see me. It didn’t matter because it was clear she wasn’t coming. Before I had a chance to register much the same immense force grabbed hold of me from behind and pulled me back and up again at tremendous speed. I screamed like I was on a rollercoaster ride. It was exhilarating! While screaming I was thinking, This is SO fun!!! I perceived myself moving towards space but the excitement of the moment along with the shrill screaming coming out of my mouth woke me. 

I felt my body jolt awake with my return. My heart was pounding and I was thinking, “What fun! I want to go back!” Of course, I couldn’t. I was too awake and excited. 

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Lucid Dream: Just Let Go

Yesterday afternoon, I was driving my daughter home from a friend’s house. I had just merged onto the highway and came to another entrance ramp and had to slow to let a truck merge. Something fell out of the truck and rolled in a crumpled heap on the road. At first I thought it was a squirrel but it jumped up, very much alive and well, and it was a kitten! It ran into the grassy median. The truck must’ve seen it, braked hard and drove through the median and onto the feeder road going the wrong way. Both myself and my daughter were relieved the kitten had survived.

While this may seem like a coincidental happening, I don’t believe it was and I will reveal why later.

Then, last night I had a fleeting thought about how my sleep no longer feels like the reprieve it once did. I no longer look forward to sleep nor do I look forward to writing in my blog or journal because of it. Then came a thought of, “This is about the time something normally happens.” “Something” meaning an OBE, lucid dream, K dream or guide visit (or all of the above). 

Lucid Dream: Just Let Go

I suddenly became aware of traveling inside a car. I was floating inside, not sitting, and the details of the actual car were missing. It was more like a huge, confined space. I felt someone with me but didn’t see him. I thought of him as Tom Cruise (lol). He directed my attention to an open moon roof above me. I think he suggested I go out and my mind responded with uncertainty. There was a feeling of being told that I should take the risk, that’s what Tom would do. 

So, I went through the window. My thoughts were focused on what could happen with the main scenario being that I would float and not fall. Sure enough, I floated over the moving car and it sped ahead. Below I could see the road, above a blue sky and around me tall trees. 

I flew forward as I continued to talk with the man in my mind. My vision was clear as I flew, but I was mostly looking inward so my memory of the scenery is limited to flashes of imagery. Eventually, I came to some structures and flew through them one by one. Fully expecting to feel the fibers and constructions of the objects, I braced myself, but only felt an interruption in energy and lost my vision briefly. Some structures took longer to fly through than others. The more objects I passed through, the less tense I was. 

At one point, as I was flying and practicing moving through objects, I began to focus on my breathing, taking deep, purposeful breaths. The whole time I was talking with the man who I never once saw but perceived to be flying beside me.

Eventually, I paused and just floated a while, still taking deep breaths. I close my eyes and flipped upside down and then spun around. This also made me feel a bit worried but I reassured myself that however I landed would be right side up. Still spinning, a song-like chant began to go through my mind. It was a woman’s voice singing, “Just let go….Just let go…Just let go….” I began to sing along with her, my breathing deepening. The sensations of floating and slowly spinning was pleasant but I knew I was gaining lucidity quickly because I began to have awareness of my physical body, specifically breathing and the sensations of my closed eyes.

In the background, behind the main chant-like message of “Just let go”, another song was playing in my mind. It was Imagine Dragons, It’s Time. 

It’s time to begin, isn’t it?
I get a little bit bigger but then I’ll admit
I’m just the same as I was
Now don’t you understand
That I’m never changing who I am

As I grew more lucid and right before I opened my physical eyes, I saw visuals of symbols flying at me at high speed and then disappearing into me, as if being absorbed. I recognized them as Light Language and this was what finally woke me.

Knowing

Once awake I struggled to return to sleep. I had a familiar feeling of Knowing, something I haven’t felt in a long time, and when I thought about the dream I received tingling energy hugs that spread from the center of my back to my front in waves. 

Besides the more obvious messages of the songs, I Knew the dream practice of going through objects contained a message. The objects represented moments in life where I would run into obstacles and temporarily lose sight of the path ahead. I would also experience an interruption in energy. This interruption and loss of vision had the potential to throw me off kilter but was temporary. I remember distinctly knowing that “Tom” said to me when I got to the other side of one of the objects, “You are the same now as you were before.” This is probably where the Imagine Dragons song came from. This message was loud and clear as I lay in bed contemplating the experience. It is true. Every obstacle I encounter in life has the tendency to throw me off for a while. I lose sight of my path and the energy feels all wrong. Eventually, though, I get to the other side and when I do I am exactly as I was before but perhaps with more courage and insight.

There was also a distinct reminder that I am a walk-in. Not long ago, on May 29, I had a dream in which I was reminded of this fact, too.

“I saw an older Asian woman sitting, legs extended on a large bed covered in nice linens. She said, “Come. Sit on my lap.” I hesitated, not knowing who she was or why she would ask such a thing. She patted her lap encouragingly, so I climbed up onto the bed with her. I said, “I am too big.” She patted her lap again and so I climbed onto her lap. She asked, “What is bothering you?” I suddenly felt very much like a small child in her grandmother’s lap. Sadness and grief swept over me and I replied, “I wish I were Home.” I burst into tears and woke up. 

The conversation with the woman continued after I woke despite my trying to return to sleep. The conversation details are mostly lost to me now. The main thing I recall is that I Remembered all at once and Knowing returned. To summarize, I remembered that I was a walk-in and had been integrating for quite a long time.“

After the above dream I still doubted the walk-in because memory of those times seems like a dream; like it wasn’t real and never happened. The return of Light Language symbols in this dream seemed to scream, “Remember who you are.” 

Dream: No Ordinary Guide

I managed to return to sleep and had another telling dream. In the dream I was with my friend Angela and a man who I didn’t recognize. He was young and black and quite attractive. We were sitting at a table discussing hair and he said he was growing his out. I asked if he planned to grow an afro again and he said yes with a big smile. I told him he looked good with it and also that he was very attractive and if I were his age I would date him. lol I then reminisced about my youth for a bit.

The discussion shifted to the spiritual and guides. I ended up channeling a guide who I thought was Angela’s but turned out to be my own. The young black man would ask me questions and I would answer them. I also had a blind fold over my eyes and kept it there for quite a long time. 

What I most recall about this guide was he was no ordinary guide. When I described his purpose it was quite profound. I wish I can recall the exact words now! In summary, though, he was not a typical guide but one sent to assist in ascension specifically. That was his only purpose. My sense in the dream was that he was “one of those guides” as in the kind I use to encounter that often resembled ETs or ascended masters. 

Eventually I took off my mask and drove my friend to her appointment. I got lost, though, and we ended up arriving late and the hair dresser wouldn’t do her hair. My friend asked me to color her hair and I agreed and the dream ended. 

Back to the Kitten….

The evening of the walk-in dream (May 29th) I had a short dream about a kitten. Cats and kittens symbolically represent the Divine Feminine, at least for me. I don’t like cats so dreams about cats and kittens are not because of my love for them. So, when they make an entrance I pay attention.

“Then I watched as a new, fluffy, orange kitten was being introduced to a house that had two adult cats, one male and the other female. The kitten was first introduced to the female, a calico, who initially hissed at it but then began to mother it. Then it was introduced to the male who immediately liked it. They both treated it like their own and someone commented that the kitten reminded the cats of their own kittens who had long been given away.“

When I woke from the above above dream, the Asian woman from the earlier dream sent me a vision.

“I was reminded that it was time to step into my role; who I was to become (or something like that). I saw at this time a large, gold embellished picture frame with no picture inside as a visual of the message. It felt like I was to create what would be displayed in the frame. I knew it was a picture of myself that was meant to go there.” 

I don’t think it coincidence that I saw the kitten fall out of the truck and survive on the highway. It is too “coincidental ” that I had a walk-in reminder dream right after.

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Finally, A Lucid Dream!

Woke at 5am with thoughts of returning to Costa Rica, this time for three months. It would be nice to wake every morning by the ocean again, to the sounds of the rain forest lulling me to sleep and greeting me every morning. Even the lack of a/c doesn’t phase me. If it means I can be alone for a long stretch then it might be the best thing I could do right now.  

I was considering this as an option when I fell asleep.

Dream: Lonely

The dream began in a very small classroom. I was seated beside about four or five other students and the teacher was at the front near the door. The teacher was giving us instructions for exercises that were part of a workout. Four exercises, one after the other and then a break. I wasn’t interested because of the cramped space. There was nowhere to stand up so the exercises would have to be done while seated. 

A female student seated close to me was far more interesting to me than the class. I turned and began to chat with her. I can’t remember what I was talking about now but she listened attentively. At one point I stomped my foot to emphasize what I was saying but that is all I can remember. 

Suddenly, the class was finished and everyone was getting up to leave. The student I had been talking to told me the teacher was annoyed by my behavior. I mentioned that I had wondered if she even noticed I wasn’t participating. The other student confirmed, saying the teacher was especially bothered when I stomped my foot. I remember thinking my behavior rude but didn’t care. The teacher in me, however, understood the teacher’s perspective.

We left the classroom together and began walking down a wide sidewalk on campus. It was bright and sunny outside and there was a lot of space and greenery around. The other student walked to my left, a span of about eight feet between us. She was cordial but appeared to not want to be associated with me.  I didn’t blame her. 

We walked in silence for a bit, me thinking how nice it would be to have her as a friend. In my mind I knew a friendship was out of the question because, 1. she was much younger than me and so we would have little in common, and 2. I couldn’t trust her to listen to me without judgement. 

I realized then that when I had been talking to her in class, she only appeared to be listening in order to not draw attention to herself. Had I paid attention to her body language I would’ve known she had no interest whatsoever in what I was saying. I had inadvertently made her my accomplice.

With these thoughts I remember acknowledging my loneliness in this life. I began to cry as I realized there was really no one I could talk to, like really talk to. I can’t even blog or post in forums without someone judging me and writing critical comments. Even if their comments appear constructive, I can feel the irritation in their replies. How dare I feel what I feel and not see how blessed I am compared to them and others! Then I feel guilty, thinking they are right. I have no right to complain or be unhappy when so many people have it far worse. I figure, if I can’t vent my frustrations, petty or not, without feeling judged, then I should just hold it in. So, I hold it in where it festers and turns into bitterness. 

I have no safe space. Nowhere is safe to openly be myself. So, I suffer alone, in silence. How dare I feel what I feel!? Like my mom always told me, “Spoiled, ungrateful brat”.

I woke briefly from the tears and returned to dreamtime.

Lucid Dream: Doing My Mom’s Laundry

My mother must’ve been on my mind because I end up in her house. The purpose of my visit is to check on her because she is ill.  

I walk into the house. It is dark and quiet. I carefully make my way to my mother’s bedroom. I have with me a white, plastic bag. It contains items I think will make her feel better while she recuperates. 

I knock and announce my entry. When I enter she is fast asleep. I whisper to her that I brought her a care package. I set it on the nightstand and tiptoe out of the room. I shut the door behind me.

As I am leaving, I hear something behind me. I turn to see the bedroom door has opened. I return and close it. When I turn back towards the living room I see the TV is on. The volume is too high so I turn it off, thinking it will wake up my mom. When I look up I see her bedroom door is open yet again. I go and shut it. When I turn back towards the living room, again, the TV is on and the volume too high. This time I see my oldest son lying on the sofa covered in blankets. I tell him he needs to get up and get ready to leave. He protests, wanting to finish his TV show. I notice he is much younger than he is in waking reality. Looking closer, I suspect he is about 5 or 6 years old. 

I look towards my mom’s bedroom because I again worry she will be awakened by the TV. Once again, the door is open. Thinking I must not be closing it all the way, I return and specifically focus on closing it completely. I hear it click and am satisfied.

At this point I am becoming suspicious, thinking something is not quite right. So, I investigate. I look around, noting what is out of place. The TV is on the wrong side of the room and the sofa is where the front door should be. My son is too young. And what is he doing there in the first place? And the bedroom door keeps coming open. 

I head into the kitchen. It is a mess and I think of helping my mom out by tidying up. I decide that is what I will do but am distracted. The laundry room door is open and the light is on, I head in that direction instead. I am suspicious. My mom doesn’t have a laundry room!

When I walk into the laundry room it is very brightly lit. The first thing I notice is the washer is missing. I think it must be broken. Yet, the minute I have this thought, I am leaning down and pulling out wet close from the washer! When I look down, it isn’t there but I have some wet clothing in my hands. So, I decide to dry the clothes for my mom so they won’t be mildewy. Suddenly, the empty space below me has a very tiny dryer. It is so tiny I have to kneel down to open the lid. I turn it on and it works. I feel hot air blowing right in my face. I dump in a couple of items and close the lid (which is on top like a washing machine). 

I hear what sounds like my mom’s voice behind me. I think, “I must have awakened her.” I turn and the door to the laundry room is closed. I reach to open the door and as I do, I feel someone tap me on the right shoulder. It is a very real, very solid feeling and surprises me. No one is in the room with me! I finish opening the door and behind it is a solid wall. I remember thinking there is no way out but don’t care because….it is a dream.

I turn to see who tapped me on the back. Finding no one, I laugh to myself. Of course there isn’t. The tap was meant to get my attention. The tap was meant to help me recognize the dream!

My attention is drawn to a rack that is above the dryer. This rack physically exists in my house in waking reality. I see two white strings hanging from the rack. On the ends of them are little balls. At the back of my mind I am considering the lack of an exit but don’t care. I want to play. So, I decide I want to make one of the balls move. I “think” it into motion, because, well it’s MY dream. I am instantly successful. Next, I make both little balls swing towards one another. My intention works and they hit and explode in opposite directions. I feel successful and laugh. This wakes me up.

When I wake I can feel the return to my physical body, something I haven’t felt in ages! The transition is fairly smooth, which also surprises me. The energy settles, indicating I can move. I open my eyes and shift positions, knowing that doing this prevents me from immediately returning to the OOB state. I don’t care. I know I’m too excited for that.

Considerations

The first dream is a typical scenario in my life. When I am in a good mood, I often talk fast and excitedly to others and easily ignore signs that indicate the communication is unwanted or at an inappropriate time. In the dream it was a classmate and I definitely missed the obvious signs.

I get sad in the dream because I want a friend and am lonely. Yet, my experience of friendships has not been good. They tend to be one-sided. The friend wants me to be a friend to them but, when it is time for them to be a friend to me, they fall short. All I want is a safe place to be myself, to be heard and accepted. I can honestly say I’ve never found that in a friend. Not once. This dream came with tears, of course, and me recognizing I’ve given up on finding a friend, or even a lover, that provides me with that safe space. I’ve even withdrawn from public journals and forums because, well it hurts when I bare my soul and am rejected for it.

I can already hear the comments and questions in response to what I wrote above. Have you provided a safe place for others? I think I use to, back when I eagerly accepted friendships and wanted to be a “good friend”. As I’ve grown more cautious and cynical, I just outright reject offers of friendship if I sense even the slightest judgment or criticism from the other’s energy. So, yeah, I’m super stand-offish and, where I use to listen with compassion and sympathy to the other, now I don’t have the time for it. Why give the other all I have when it won’t be returned? I’m done being stepped on and used. 

And if you judge me for what I just said, well f**k off!

As for the lucid dream, it was pretty awesome, even if short-lived. There was a return of the symbolism of tidying up my mom’s house. I recently had a dream where I was doing just that and also making her bed. This time I was also doing her laundry. The symbolism is purification, acceptance and an attempt to clean things up in general. The door opening time and time again is an indicator that there is something I wish to put an end to but it just isn’t happening. There is still something left undone. Thankfully, I hear the door click, so maybe there is hope?  

I find it reassuring that I am still capable of having lucid dreams and going OOB. It has been sooooo long! It was nice to feel playful and curious again. That is my natural state. I miss feeling like that.

by

Wish I Could be Part of that World

Finally good sleep! And lucid experiences!

Dream: Tiny House

I was visiting this place that had a bunch of tiny houses together on one lot. The houses were two small  bedrooms linked by a bathroom (may be symbolic of marriage). Inside they had high ceilings and antique furniture (the past). The entire place smelled old to me. In my room there was a double bed with an antique hutch. Inside the drawers were all kinds of things from the past, most women’s earrings (love and relationships). I picked up a pair that was colorful, dangly and heavy and thought, “These must be from the 70’s”. 

The door (opportunity) into and between the rooms got stuck and I somehow broke it trying to open/close it. There was a woman there who reminded me of German Hilda type – broad shoulders, square jaw, tall and somewhat intimidating. She was in charge of the tiny house and came in to fix the door. She called in another woman and they worked together to fix it while I wandered outside. Outside there were city streets reminiscent of somewhere in Europe. There was a building that reminded me of a museum (reflecting on the past) with a path that went back into a heavily treed park. I walked down it looking around at all the greenery and space, curious about the museum which looked like it was also a research facility of some kind. Right before I woke up I think I ran into a man but can’t quite remember. 

Dream: Detective Visit

I heard a knock at the door (I was at my Mom’s house). When I opened it I saw a man who I instantly recognized. I called him, “Detective” (new beginnings, justice) and asked him why he was there. He said, “Sorry, but it looks like I’m going to have to get your statement/report. They are going to move forward with the investigation.” I asked, “Why? It doesn’t make any sense.” There was memory of past events. Apparently I upset a female classmate and she was pressing charges. The extent of the upset I never remembered but it felt like she was throwing a tantrum and trying to get attention. Exasperated, because the ordeal had been on-going for some time, I asked the detective, “Is there anyway to make this go away? Do you think she will accept a settlement? I could just pay her $50k and apologize.” I went on to say, “I wasn’t even in contact with her from April through June.” I saw a calendar in my mind and knew I was attending classes the entire time. I then said, “I don’t even have to stay in school. I already have a degree.” I thought some and then said, “I have a Master’s degree already.” The detective, a handsome blonde man (almost too handsome IMO) about 6 feet tall, gave me a look and sighed. It appeared he didn’t seem to think it was a good idea. 

Series of Lucid Events

I woke from the dream feeling really, really groggy. I happily returned to sleep, asking to go OOB or be lucid. It has been so long and I miss it.

Almost instantly I was lucid, feeling the heavy energy of my astral body sitting superimposed over my physical body. I could perceive both my physical environment and the astral one. I knew I needed to move OOB and so attempted to but it seemed every time I tried, something in the physical would distract me. There were noises off as usual but also physical sensations of the body like the heaviness of my blanket, the feeling of the bed beneath me, my arm going numb, etc. 

The scenes I found myself in varied. Mostly it was dark and I only had my other senses, vision being turned off for some reason. When I did see it was as if in a dream. I was lucid but confused and not actively controlling the dream. 

For example, at one point I was trying to relax so I could go OOB and found myself kneeling next to the piano bench. It was topped with my boys’ freshly washed clothing. One son was there picking up his clothes and asking me questions, distracting me. I could see the piano and the bench but not him. The sensations were the most memorable. The heavy feeling was wonderful and I fell backwards into it, hoping to pop OOB. Instead, I just landed on my bed (I was already OOB but didn’t realize it). 

In another instance I was in front of a man I thought I recognized as a past boyfriend. I could see his face clearly but it was younger than I recall and the features that use to distract me about him were softened and so he was pleasant to look at. I thought, “I really want to kiss him now!” Then confusion hit me. I couldn’t recall my life, specifically asking myself, “Who did I marry?” lol I had no idea. My memory was blank. 

Then I was standing in front of two men still trying to recall who I married. I thought the one on the left was the boyfriend from before but the more I looked at him the more I realized he wasn’t. I looked at the man on the right and had no idea who he was. Looking back and forth I was concerned because I couldn’t remember ANYTHING. The man on the left called in two other men who seemed like his strongmen or bodyguards. I instantly thought to myself that he was trying to influence my decision and scare away his competition. I didn’t care because I still didn’t know who I was or who I married.

The confusion brought me back to body awareness and the scene vanished. Feeling calmer I went back to focusing on going OOB. Again, I decided to fall backward. This time, after a short distance where I floated like a feather, I landed on grass. I could feel the cool blades of it poking my back. I laughed to myself and enjoyed the sensation of it. Still, though, I didn’t realize I was OOB and attempted to leave my body without success. 

When I finally came back to body awareness the floaty feeling remained with me. Part of a song came to mind: “Wandering free, wish I could be, part of their world”. 

I immediately told my guidance, “Thank you.” Then I said, “But I wanted to go OOB.” I heard back, “You still need to heal.” I said, “Going out of body is healing!” I got no reply to that. I’m not sure why healing is a reason not to be lucid or go OOB. Still trying to figure that one out. 

The song continued and I agree – Wish I could be, part of that world (astral world that is).

by

Be Courageous – Remember

My son woke me at 3am. He was wandering the house saying his tummy felt weird because he was anxious. In the morning he told me why.

My oldest son had some major lucid dream/OBE activity last night. He was excitedly telling me all about it this morning. Most of his experiences were on the scary side. He said he heard a man say, “Hey! Don’t come in here” when he headed to the bathroom. At the time he didn’t know he was OOB. The voice was not one he recognized but wasn’t scary. This led to a conversation about “noises off”. He later asked me, “So…does that mean we can do it [OBE] together?!” I said, “Yes!” He said, “Cool!” I told him all the times I’ve seen him when I’ve been OOB. He’s the only one of my children who ever interacts with me and is conscious of being OOB. I’m a proud mama!

Above is what I posted on FB. He said he would fall asleep for 10 minutes and then wake up to weird stuff like the above. He is genuinely interested in his lucid experiences and is good at spotting them. I look forward to watching him grow and learn from them.

When I fell back to sleep I had an odd dream about being inside a tiny home that had lots of house plants. I kept meeting all kinds of people. One I recall was a young drug addicted couple with two beautiful angel children. Everyone person I saw I wanted to hug because I could see how beautiful they were inside. I felt so much love for them. 

I think I had this dream because right before bed I was thinking how little love I feel for people lately. I am just devoid of love for other humans. I was feeling guilty about it especially since I watched another NDE account where God told the women that even her thoughts affected people. The woman would not say or do mean things but would think them, assuming that doing so made her somehow better than those that didn’t hold back. God explained that the negative thoughts feed into the person’s energy and make it harder for them to break free of negative cycles.

I definitely do the above but without thinking that I am “better” for saying nothing. I feel as much guilt for my thoughts as I do my actions or words. When I was in counseling discussing those things I have done that may have hurt people, my thoughts would come up all the time and the counselor would tell me they didn’t count because I didn’t actually act on them. Now I realize that I have been right all along – my thoughts are just as overt as any action. I should be paying attention to them, not ignoring them.

I do know one thing, I am living a life that is very negative right now. Why is it that way? Well, the same NDE reminded me that I create my reality and this “prison” is of my own making. The woman in the NDE spoke of how she was protecting herself from hurt by slowly withdrawing from the world. She wouldn’t let anyone close enough to hurt her. She ended up going to work and just being superficially nice and appropriate, then would go home and do her mother duties and then go to bed. She didn’t go out or socialize. She said no one really noticed her doing this because it was so gradual and eventually she was inside the prison she experienced in her NDE – a black void. 

I’ve created a similar prison for the same reason. 

What is even stranger is that after listening to the NDE account partially I opened up a Stephen King novel, Duma Key, my husband left for me to read. The introduction called “How to Draw a Picture” explained how white is a name we give to the absence of memory (color) and black is the absence of light. It fit perfectly. He says that taking a pencil and drawing just one line (the horizon) on a white piece of paper is the most courageous thing anyone can do because that line lets in the dark. The only way to create anything on that white paper is to draw lines (let in the dark). 

“Black is the absence of light, but white is the absence of memory, the color of can’t remember.”

Duma Key by Stephen King, no page number

To me, all the above events in the order they happened, paint the picture of a message: “Be courageous – Remember.” Because, after all, a huge part of my journey has been Remembering. Remembering is a different kind of memory, it is the recapturing of the Self through creation. We all are capable of Remembering but not all of us have the courage to do so. 

by

OBE: Horseman

Woke at 4:30am thinking of all the things I need to get done before my trip to Cancun next Wednesday. It was mostly work stuff because I have to get a lot done before I leave. No one can do my job except me, really, which makes it hard for me to go on vacation without having to take my laptop and work on-the-go (which I refuse to do).

It took me a while to settle my mind and body, but I guess I did because I entered a lucid dream.

OBE: Horseman

My mind was still going over all the things I need to do in the dream but I was aware I was dreaming. I found myself in a dark landscape. I couldn’t make out much except two dirt roads that intersected at one point. 

As I wandered around this area I was talking to myself and a masculine energy. In my mind I could see images, some of the landscape others of a computer screen. I remember receiving/seeing email messages. The subject lines were familiar. I realized they were things I had written and someone was sending them back to me. I was alarmed because it appeared I was being warned about the future via my own written words. Other emails were long love poems which I read aloud and enjoyed. I don’t remember any of what I read now, though. All of the emails were from a familiar person whose image I could recall in my mind. But, again, my memory of this is limited. All I remember is dark hair and knowing this person had been in contact with me in the past and so seemed to be “stalking” me (but not in a negative way).

Then my focus went to the gray landscape. I soon realized I could traverse it by feel and that the email communications were located there. I would “touch” upon a spot and see or feel things. While one spot brought forth a major sexual feeling, another would reveal an email or would only illicit curiosity.

As I floated/walked towards the center of where the two dirt roads intersected, I told the masculine energy, “This is where my house will be”. I turned and looked across the darkness, the road intersection glowed, and I realized I was standing on the covers of my bed, the bed in which my physical body was sleeping.

For some reason this didn’t surprise me one bit. I shifted into the body in the bed and thought to myself, “I wonder…?” The thought turned to immediate action as I rolled over and off the bed. I recall thinking I might hit the floor so redirected my thoughts so that I floated instead.

As soon as I rolled off the bed I found myself in a bedroom. It was still very dark but all my perceptions were available and I thought to myself, “I will see when I want to.” 

I floated towards the door slowly, enjoying the sensations of being OOB and thinking to myself that I need to pay attention and enjoy what little time I had OOB. 

When I reached the door, I grabbed onto the doorknob and opened the door. I held onto the knob for a while, recognizing it was not really there but amazed at how real it felt. As I looked up I turned on my vision and was blown away by what was in front of me.

The first thing I focused on was the sky. Fluffy clouds and azure blue backlit by the rays of the sun greeted me along with an entire chorus of voices singing in harmony. There were no words to the song, just “Ahh, ahh, ahh….” The chorus was unlike anything I’d heard in this body, but I have heard before it while OOB. Not only was there sound, but the music had color and feeling. Every note permeated the scene and painted it with colors. I could feel my energy body vibrating; my soul felt in tune with everything. The end result was pure joy and the thought, “It is SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!”

I had let go of the doorknob and floated up to the rooftop, holding onto the edge so that I wouldn’t be sucked up into the beautiful chorus of clouds. Branches of trees were at eye level and appeared to sway with the music. I began to sing along with the chorus of voices as I gazed in awe at my surroundings.

I glanced over the top of the roof and saw a brilliant, glowing orb – the sun. It was just peaking over the horizon, its rays casting a brilliance over the landscape. For a moment it looked like there were two identical suns. I blinked, and the lower one vanished before my eyes and the top one continued to slowly rise upward until it was sitting an inch or so above the horizon.

That’s when I saw a man on a horse galloping at top speed in my direction. He seemed to appear from the sun itself! A small, brilliant white light glowed where his hands were holding the reigns. Was he holding a lantern? IDK but the light illuminated him enough that I could tell his horse was brown and he was not a “dark horseman” or sinister in any way.

Before I knew it, the man had galloped across my line of sight and disappeared to my right, just out of my peripheral. I somehow knew he would circle around to meet me. This concerned me and I whispered, “Don’t come over here. Don’t come over here.” The chorus of voices was still singing as I returned to my body.

Considerations

As body awareness returned, I didn’t move, hoping I would return to the scene and confront whoever this horseman was. Why didn’t I want to me him? Unfortunately, my mind was wide awake and thinking too much again. Sleep wasn’t going to return.

As I went through the OBE experience in my mind, the memory of it brought tears to my eyes. I could still hear the chorus of voices, see the magnificent scene and feel the overwhelming joy. I thanked my guidance for giving me such a gift. I was pleased that I recognized the gift that it was and took the opportunity to take in every beautiful part of it. 

I wondered about the horseman. When I first saw him I thought of him as a knight or someone coming to assist me. Later, I worried because he was so dark and my thoughts went to the apocalypse. I almost forgot about the light he carried but when I remembered, I knew whoever he was, he was good. 

The symbolism is promising. The sun is rising – hope, new beginnings, new life, the promise of a new day. That the horseman came galloping out of the sun is also promising and points to something new and positive. 

I don’t know if the email and communication at the beginning of the experience is linked to the OBE – probably. The crossroad are vivid in my memory; a choice is coming. That I was talking about building a new house indicates yet another positive. 

I love, love, love that I found myself wandering on top of the covers of the bed I was sleeping in. How cool is that!? Fantastic!