Category Archives: Astral Travel/OBE

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Four Levels

Last night I had some very vivid dreams which included communication with one of my guides. I then ended up OOB for a short time.

4 Levels

The dream started inside a building that had a golden hue about it. It was also very clean and sanitary and reminded me of a hospital. I was with my best friend from high school as she appears presently and she was telling me about a stalker.

While with her I was transported in my mind to outside of the building and saw that it was indeed a very tall structure. I was talking with a female who I didn’t see and she seemed to be instructing me. We were discussing the four levels of the building. I was acutely aware that the floors had purpose. The top floor was reserved for those who were advanced and nearing the end of this incarnation. The levels below were based upon individuals’ progress in their current life. I was discussing people I seemed to know, saying their names and knowing their level. One woman’s name stood out to me. She was at the third level and her name sounded like “Ah-te” or similar. It sounded very foreign, almost Egyptian.The levels seemed very important and I was focused intently on them.

Then I was aware of being with my friend again. We were hiding from her stalker and we ended up in the bathroom of the first floor. I asked her what it was about, implying that a stalker only stalked because he was given reason to. She laughed and said she had not had sex but had done everything but. This shocked me as her relationship in present time is so perfect. I told her, “I would never do that”.

Then I was floating in this circular shopping area. The buildings of different shops were all around the perimeter and I was in the middle, the parking lot. It was deserted and dark. I flew up to a restaurant and saw it was owned by my friend and was doing quite well.

Then I was back with my friend who was laying down, her eyes closed. We were still on the first floor and the stalker was over her, looking down at her. I wondered if she was dying. The stalker lost interest and left.

I then found myself back in the shopping center. This time the business that was owned by my friend had gone under. In fact, all the businesses seemed to be out of business.

OBE

Suddenly I was very aware of my surroundings and my vision became crisp. I was very aware that I was OOB and thought, “I am asleep”.

I seemed to be in my grandparent’s living room. I looked down at the sofa and saw my husband sound asleep stretched out upon it. He was wearing only his boxers and his head was propped up on a pillow. I went closer, examining him with my eyes and feeling giddy, much like a child who is about to play a practical joke. I smiled and felt mischievous but not like in my other OBEs. “The child” was not present – I was very much myself, just a much happier, free version of myself.

I leaned over my husband, inspecting his face and listening to his breathing. He looked very peaceful. I then touched his arm gently and he shifted slightly. I rubbed the palm of my hand over his chest with more pressure, feeling the warmth of his body and smiling. He made a sound and I moved back and looked at his face. His eyes were closed and there was drool on his mouth. This made me laugh silently to myself.

I would have stayed longer but instead I awoke suddenly and was back in my body.

Considerations

As I lay in bed not wanting to get up, I thought about my dream and the OBE. I knew there was a message in it, but I could not put it into words. The levels were curious to me. What did they represent? Chakras? Levels of consciousness? And my friend and her cheating on her husband along with the failure of her “business” left me wondering. Could it be that I was recognizing that all thing pass and that things are not always what they appear to be? That is what the message seemed to be.

I tried not to take the message literally. I mean, I am not considering cheating or leaving my husband. Yet, I wonder if the cycle of my current life is coming to yet another end? Or perhaps I was just reflecting on possibilities? My OBE seemed so positive to me, as if I were relishing the time I have with my husband. Yet the feeling I had was of a friend who finds her friend sound asleep at a sleepover and wants to put shaving cream on his face, make him move and wipe it all over himself, then laugh hysterically, proud of my success. Even now I think how funny it would have been to have succeeded in startling him awake.

I wonder sometimes if this is what I am like when I am not in a body. Do I have this kind of relationship with my current husband on the Other Side? Are we good friends who like to play jokes on each other? I can imagine how our conversation would go upon a return from this life:

“Hey you!”, I would say, and punch him in the arm. “How did you like being my man servant this life?”

He would laugh and say, “What? Me?” Then he would think and say, “You know, I think we should be siblings next time around. Then we can really teach each other a lesson or two”.

Sometimes I really think life is just a big, ol’ game to us when we are not in a body. Puts a whole new twist to the saying, “Lighten up”.

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Two Bodies – March, 2014

Of all the mornings this week, this is the one I would expect would have me in a good mood. Unfortunately, I feel very grumpy and on edge.

Why would I expect to be in a good mood? Because I had an interesting double body experience – well really it was an OBE but it was peculiar.

OBE #1: Two Bodies

It began with me being awoken by my husband opening the garage to leave for work. One of the unfortunate aspects of having a master bedroom located over the garage is that when the door is opened it is pretty loud. I heard it right through my ear plugs and so woke up with a start. I could not go back to sleep after that because the dream I had been having was so vivid and I was mulling it over.

About an hour later I heard my children wake up and turn on the t.v. downstairs. I did not want to get out of bed, though. I was so comfortable and it was chilly in the room making getting up that much more unappealing. I was a bit stiff so positioned myself somewhat on my back (can’t sleep on my back because I am pregnant) and stretched myself out. It felt nice and I closed my eyes just wanting to lay there and relax.

The next thing I know I am sitting in a large, open room at a table with two women. One woman is a counselor from my old place of employment. I recognize her blonde hair and mannerisms instantly. I listen as she speaks with another woman I do not recognize. They are discussing scheduling and I listen in, ever so often I offer up my opinion but am mostly just awed by the fact that I am sitting with the counselors and that, well, I am a counselor! I tell the woman I once worked with, “It is nice to be working with you as a counselor”. I do not recall her replying.

I look behind me as the other woman speaks to someone across the room. There is a woman preparing a projector as if she is about to give a presentation. There is no one else in the room. I look around and something about the space and the situation “wakes” me up. When I become lucid the scene disappears and I feel myself laying in my bed.

I have only my mental vision when I look around me so the colors are all variations of black, white and brown and the scene is very shifty, as if the room is moving in slow motion. This is the usual when I see with my mental vision, but for some reason I notice more about it than I typically do.

The room is not my bedroom but a similar room in that it is arranged the same with the door in the same place and about the same amount of space between the door and bed. I am aware of people outside of the room as I can hear them talking but cannot make out what they are saying. The bed I am laying in is very small, perhaps twin sized, while my real bed is a king. I get up and feel myself in two places as I do so – I am both in the bed and walking across the room to the door at the same time. The feeling is odd in that as I separate from my physical body there is resistance and if there had been sound (there was none) I would have heard the sound of static or Velcro.The separation is a particular feeling and I struggle with it. Why am I in both places? I want to be with the me across the room, not the me in my bed. Why am I separating so slowly and not completely?

I do end up walking to the door as if to leave but my confusion at being in two places keeps me from leaving the room. The separation ends instantly and I am back in my physical body but my consciousness is still not so aware as for me to completely wake up.

OBE #2

I look around the room and notice a man walking past. He has no shirt on and a white towel is wrapped around his waist. I ask him who he is and he tells me he is just passing through. For some reason I get interested in this man and invite him over to me. When he comes close he disappears but I can still feel his presence. I then feel my left leg and then my right leg lift up into the air as if they are being held or are resting on someone. I do not feel hands on me, though. The peculiar feeling of being in two places hits me again. I can feel both pairs of my legs and am willing myself to go with the legs that are raised. Unfortunately, something about me willing myself to move out of body shifts me into full awareness and I find myself settling into my physical body.

OBE #3

I do not open my eyes. Instead I think about what just happened and, knowing I could easily return, I let myself drift back into between states. The next thing I know, I am flying high over a highway and below there is snow covering the roads. There are plows and I am talking to someone about the roads. I observe a plow below me and follow behind, flying along the road. Then I look on the other side of the highway and watch as a plow flies down the road at very high speeds. A smaller truck follows behind swiftly and I recall that my thoughts were that these vehicles were moving very fast. I observe the scene for a bit, noting the mountainous terrain and then shift back into my physical body.

Realizing I need to wake up, I slowly open my eyes but am instantly not in a good mood. I tell my guides I want to go back and to stay. I get messages from them to try and get me to stop considering such a thing. One familiar one is, “Think about your life”. Another one I hear is, “You have much left to do”. I am not pleased to hear these things.

Resistance

While I am pleased that I was able to have such an interesting OBE, I am now very on edge and cannot seem to get myself going this morning. Part of it has to do with not being able to return and stay in astral for a longer period of time. Another part of it has to do with the fact that my week long vacation is almost at an end. I do not look forward to having to wake up early and come home late from work. I do not look forward to resuming my hectic schedule. It is nice to have nothing to do.

I also notice that I am resisting something about my future. I am not certain what it is exactly but I do have a longing to return to my past; to when I was so deeply connected to the spiritual. I miss that connection and feel that no matter what I do right now, that deep connection will not return for some time. I resent the things in my life that keep me from the excitement that spiritual connection brought. I was constantly learning new things about life and myself. I was astraling frequently and able to block out the bland mundane reality that was my life whenever I wanted. That is not the case now.

Part of me wishes I had never started on the spiritual path because now that I know what I am missing it makes living in this physical reality that much harder. I will always be longing for Home. Yes, I longed for it before but it was not a conscious thing. I didn’t really know what it was that was missing from my life. Now that I know, now that I have a taste of what it is that was/is lacking, I will forever yearn for it.

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Astral Space Capsule – February, 2014

I have not been able to get a solid night’s sleep in some time. So, of course, I have not had very many vivid dreams and no OBEs. I think this is because I keep waking up every 1 to 2 hours either from baby kicking and squirming or from needing to use the bathroom.

Baby Dream

Today is my first day of my new counseling job. I awoke at 4:30am from some weird dreams. Strangely I had slept harder than in previous nights and so it was a surprise to me that I remembered my dreams at all. I had a dream where I was in shop as a cashier and working with money. My husband’s boss who passed away last year was my boss and he was discussing giving me money. A woman stopped by and mentioned that her daughter was having her baby but that it was due in November. I remember thinking that there was no way the baby would survive since November was so far away. The baby had to have just be conceived! It was a boy and I overheard that the father was my sister’s ex-boyfriend. I didn’t say anything to her about it since I didn’t want to give her anymore bad news. The guy was a loser.

Later, I was in the hospital and the woman and her daughter were there. The baby had been born and had survived to my surprise. I remember hearing her talking about him and describing how small he was. She showed me a picture of him and he had large jowls like a dog and I remember realizing that the baby was a girl and not a boy. It also had a very short torso and seemed deformed. I congratulated the woman but the whole while was thinking “Poor woman”.

I went to the bathroom with a nurse who wanted me to tell her how long it took me to pee. She gave me a clock and I went in. I didn’t think I would have much pee but for some reason it gushed out of me and got all over the toilet. I frantically watched the clock and I saw it was at 15sec. Another gush came out and another still. I seemed to be full of pee! I noted that it took about 25-30sec total. I then saw I had peed out something weird. It looked like a piece of flesh. It had veins and everything on it and was about 3 inches long. I was horrified.

This part of the dream woke me up and I tossed and turned for an hour afterward with the dream on my mind. The piece of flesh bothered me. I finally had to get up to pee at 5:30am and then tried to go back to bed. I laid on my right side because my hand kept going numb when I laid on my left side.

OBE #1: Astral Space Capsule

My head had barely hit the pillow and I was asleep. But this time I immediately left my body. I also instantly knew I was not in my body. But, like in other recent OBEs, I had an almost frantic, full of energy feeling that I sometimes get. So, “the child”, as I call her, was in charge during this one.

I found myself inside a space craft. There were large metal cylinders that were moving and I was aware that the shape was circular, like a pod. I was in the middle and knew that someone was about to blow up the space pod. I couldn’t really do anything but wait as I could find no exit. I sat in the midst of these large metal cylinders waiting. The cylinders pumped back and forth, horizontally next to me. I had no fear. I actually didn’t really have any emotion other than being not quite sure what the heck I was doing there.

I then noticed more large cylindrical tubes coming into the pod from the outside. My attacker was infiltrating the pod. With each cylindrical shaft that forced its way into the pod, I felt there was a bomb placed inside. I heard an audible countdown as several more cylinders forced their way inside.It is strange but I had no fear of the impending explosion.

Still having the strangely overwhelming energy of “the child”, I somehow managed to leave the capsule at the very moment the countdown reached zero and exploded. I never even experienced the explosion. Instead, I shifted to a new scene after a brief blacking out of my vision, and found myself in an unfamiliar bed. I immediately flew up and out of the bed and down some stairs.

OBE #2: Christmas House

The place was unfamiliar and I remember recognizing that I was in astral but being concerned about the time. I consciously thought about how I got back into bed at 5:30am. I knew I had only a half hour before my alarm would go off. I also remembered that I needed to get up because if I didn’t I would be late for my first day at work!

I pushed these worries out of my mind as I went downstairs. Oddly, I could hear myself talking to myself, reasoning with myself about how not to worry. I recall a woman being there and most of this scene is lost to me now. I do know I was in a house and was dealing with my worries as I frantically flew about it.

At one point I went outside the house and decided I would spy on the neighbors. It was dark outside and I realized my energy level was low but I chose to do nothing about it. My vision was good except that I seemed to have hair over one of my eyes. I kept noticing that my left eye had a veil over it and kept thinking that I needed to brush my hair out of the way.

I flew out of the house I was in and into the street. It was not a street I am familiar with. It appeared to be in a suburb lined with multi-story houses of various brick colors. The house I was going toward was reddish colored brick and more than one story. It had a manicured lawn and seemed to be middle to upper middle class.

When I got to the front door of the house the obstruction in my vision vanished. The door was dark colored and had a tiny window in the top.  I remember worrying briefly that it wouldn’t open but I easily opened it. Inside it was dark but there was a small Christmas tree illuminated in the corner on my left and I could see the house was very nice, clean and neat. I decided to grab the tree and knock it over (not sure why) and then I flew up the stairs. Each step of the stairs also had a tree, but not a Christmas tree, more like a huge pine/fir tree. I knocked each of them down one by one as I flew up. Something blocked me from continuing up the stairs, though, so I headed back down them still with the overly energetic feeling.

When I got to the bottom I encountered the woman again and there was a rocker recliner. Under it were two children, a boy and a girl. I reached under to get them, feeling attracted to them for some reason. I remember the woman said something to me but I don’t remember what now. I grabbed the young boy and pulled him out, telling him it was okay. He came close to the other child, a little girl who was his sister, and licked her face. I remember thinking it was funny and told him to lick me. He licked me and then I licked him but did so in his mouth. It was very strange. It was not a kiss but an actual lick. I could taste the inside of his mouth. This grossed me out at some level and it brought me back to my body as I was rejecting the scene entirely.

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Red Canary – May, 2014

Red Canary

I was not expecting to astral this morning when I awoke yet again at 5a.m. As usual, I was not able to sleep because of all my considerations about everything that is going on in my life. At one point, though, I remember thinking to myself, “I don’t care”.

The next thing I remember, I was having a conversation with myself while laying in my familiar childhood bedroom. Basically, I was still mulling over the things going on in my life – selling and buying a house, going back to work, my family, etc. I recall having a conversation with someone about everything but cannot remember the specifics of it. I do recall hearing numbers. First it was 24 then it was 5 and 12. In the background I could hear the sounds of a television playing in the living room. I even could make out what was being said and knew the name of the show playing though I can’t remember it now.

At one point I opened my eyes for a moment but they felt heavy from sleep. When I began looking around I saw this tiny, red bird right in front of me, probably about two feet away. From his looks, he appeared to be a canary. He was sitting in the branches of a bush or tree and didn’t see me. I turned to take a closer look, knowing that when I turned it could startle him. He did in fact startle and flew right into my face. I closed my eyes and could feel the touch of his feathers and body up against my face. I was in awe of the tiny bird – he was so vivid and beautiful – yet I was a bit confused. Why was there a bird in my room? And why was he sitting in a bush or tree in my room? Confused, I wondered whether I was asleep or awake and finally thought to myself, “I’m awake”.

Still not completely convinced that I was awake and my experience was not an OBE, I got up out of bed and headed toward my bedroom window. My eyes were not open but heavy with sleep and still closed. As I made my way to the window I noticed how solid I felt which convinced me even more that this experience must be real, I must be awake. At that point I was able to open my eyes and again there was this tiny, red bird right in front of me. It flew towards me and I ducked to avoid it. Again I was amazed at its beauty and how tiny, perfect and vivid it was.

Still convinced this was a waking experience, I headed toward the window and opened it. Then I pushed out the screen and attempted to go out of it. This is one of my favorite things to do when I exit my old bedroom while in astral. Outside the window is a pool and I love to jump in and swim underwater. I think I must have been on auto-pilot or something considering that is the first thing I wanted to do. But I was still unsure if I was asleep or awake. When I jumped out of the window I got scared because I knew I would fly out and into the pool and I worried I would drown. To my relief, I felt my feet solidly hit the ground but I changed my mind because of my fear of drowning and went back into the room.

Inside the room I must have crawled back into bed and fallen asleep for a little bit. Then I was awakened by voices. My Mom was telling me that the kids to include my brother would be leaving soon on a trip and that they would leave in the morning and return in the evening and do this for 10 days. She was explaining the details of it to me and called my husband by the wrong name – she used my ex’s name. This confused me and I remember thinking something was not right. When she said my ex’s name, a picture flashed in my head of people in sexual positions (no genitals showing or anything, just naked). I remembered how my ex liked to watch porn sometimes and I got the thought in my head that I need to watch some (really not like me as I don’t do that sort of thing!).

Not long after that I again began to question whether I was awake or asleep. Not convinced anymore that I was awake, though I kept saying to myself, “This is too real, I must be awake”, I headed out of the room. I could feel my feet hit the floor. Solid. I opened the door to the room and could feel the knob in my hand as it turned and the force of the door as I pushed it open. Solid. Yet I must have known it was not true because I decided to try to fly once I left the room. The doubt was there but I pushed past it and up I went without any effort. I was in fact asleep.

Recognizing finally that I was asleep and out of body, I flew towards the front door. Suddenly bright light flooded my vision. I had thought my eyes were closed! As I was able to see I could see the front door of my Mom’s house and saw that it was a beautiful day outside. I grabbed the door handle which I noted was exactly as it is in real life, and went outside.

The outside opened up with such clarity and brightness that had I been in a body I would have had to shield my eyes. I scanned the outside from left to right noting the abundance of trees and the lack of a road or side buildings. The trees, I noticed, had no leaves; completely barren. They were also very scrawny and of a specific type, what we call “post oaks”. They have small trunks and have whitish-gray bark that flakes off. The visual the scene gave was that of a ghost town of trees. Very desolate.

Though I noted the desolation of the scene I did not consciously concern myself with it. Instead I was searching for something. I wanted to find others. I wanted to experience astral sex (really this is not like me either!). I floated upward thinking of how I could find a partner. Since my vision was so clear I decided to look down at my hands. I could see them clearly but they had no familiar glow. They just looked normal. I knew I would not find anyone where I was so I decided to find or make a portal. Not knowing where to find one I figured I would manifest one, so I yelled out, “Portal”, hoping one would manifest in front of me. When none did, I felt an urge to go upward into space. Knowing that in the past moving up towards space has result in me shifting into another scene, I allowed myself to go up. Unfortunately, when I blacked out I did not open my eyes in a new astral scene. Instead I awoke in my bed.

Happiness and Harmony

According to dreammoods.com, a canary symbolizes “happiness and harmony” . It can also mean that there exists a desire for a relationship or that “a new relationship is blossoming”. I have never seen a canary in a dream or OBE, so this is interesting to me. The fact that the canary is red seems linked specifically to the root chakra and the energy it represents. In this specific instance I began to seek out astral sex after seeing the red canary, indicating that his red color is likely an indicator that I need to work on opening my root chakra.

In my case, I believe the canary symbolism is promising. Perhaps I am getting a message that happiness and harmony are in the making? Or perhaps the canary represents for me a longing to recreate or newly create upon my relationship with my husband. I think it might be both as they both ring true to me.

The Root Chakra

This morning’s experience awakened an interest in me about the root chakra. How much do I really know about this chakra? How often do I really work on it? Not often. In fact, I have been drawn to meditation and the ones that have been resonating with me are about opening the root chakra. Not a coincidence I’m sure.

I found a great explanation about the root chakra here. In reading through the site’s description of the root chakra I found this section interesting, especially when considering my own life and the emotions I have been feeling lately:

The root chakra is about you and life. It is not about mommy, honey, the tribe, identification, the tsunami victims, starving-people-in-third-world-countries – none of that.  It is only you and survival.  People who have open root chakras love their lives – love their physical incarnation in their present bodies.  People who pine away for heaven, future happiness, moksha; people who wish they were somewhere else (be it physically or in some allegorical way) define themselves as root chakra impaired.  So do people who are angry, fearful, cynical, distrustful, frustrated, envious, jealous, stingy – the list goes on.

The root chakra is all about food, air, water, shelter, power and physical health.  The ultimate root chakra failure is suicide – the ultimate root chakra success is empowerment and love of life.

And, of course, one of the specific body systems the root chakra is associated with are the reproductive organs. Considering I just had a baby and a major surgery that cut into my uterus, I am not surprised that I am dreaming of things which would help to open my root chaka. It is my experience that while in astral, those who are seeking out or having astral sex are working to unblock this very important chakra.

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Evidence of Integration

I had an interesting day last night that culminated in yet another unplanned OBE this morning.

Bus Wreck

Last Friday night, as I sat outside listening to the far off sounds of a marching band playing in some football stadium, I suddenly was hit with knowingness. There would be a bus accident. I immediately thought it was sad and worried about the kids on the bus but was told not to worry. So I let it go and forgot about it.

Yesterday morning, while perusing the morning headlines, I saw a headline that made my heart sink. Texas college grieves after 4 killed in bus crash. I read the article and remembered my premonition. It came out of the blue and there was no reasoning behind it. I couldn’t do anything to stop it. Yet I got the information anyway. That’s why I hate premonitions.

Avoided Accident

It is as if the news of the bus wreck was meant to remind me that I could pick up on future events. That afternoon, while returning from work, the minute I got on the freeway I got an nagging feeling. I ignored it because I was feeling very at easy and happy, which is not a norm for me, so I was enjoying it and didn’t want to ruin it by worrying over a “nagging feeling”. Yet every time I would settle into my happy mood and look at the clouds and beautiful sky I would get a thought that said, “Focus”. And I would hear it and think, “I really should pay attention”. The thought kept returning along with the nagging feeling and I thought to myself, “Any moment there could be an accident. But I shouldn’t worry about ‘what if’s’, they only make me anxious”.

I was almost home and the nagging feeling was gone when it happened. I was merging right to exit when the car in front of me suddenly swerved and put on their brakes. I saw some bits of tire on the road and decided not to merge and stayed in my lane only to be confronted a split second later by a huge piece of tire that was big enough to cause an accident. I put on my breaks and swerved a bit into the lane to my left. I watched as the driver behind me also reacted and almost hit a cement truck. I then saw the truck drive swerve into the fast lane. Thankfully, no one was in his path. As I finally began to merge, the truck drive drove past and look at me. We stared at each other and I thought to him, “Glad you are okay”. He drove on.

Then the adrenaline hit me. I exited the highway and suddenly knew that all the signs had been there. And I had listened. My heart was pounding and my arms weak. I had been ready and everyone involved was okay. And it suddenly occurred to me that had I chosen to go ahead and merge that the driver behind me would have not reacted well to the huge piece of tire. He would have swerved to wide and hit the cement truck. And I realized it was not me the feeling was meant to help. It was them.

Dream

I found myself in a dream. I was not fully aware and just followed along, In the dream I was at a gathering. We were in family groups and I was with my husband sitting at a rectangular table. Our children were not there. My husband had to sit near the aisle and I sat in the center. My mother and her husband were above and behind us. Her husband also sat near the aisle.

Then I found myself with my old high school best friend at the bottom of the auditorium where I had previously been with my husband. I greeted her and she seemed down. There was another girl with her. We all talked, catching up on old times. My friend mentioned that she had an issue with hormonal acne. I asked her if she had been to a dermatologist and she looked horrified. She then got very emotional but did not cry and the other girl seemed concerned. They both stopped talking and acted like they wanted to get away from me. They made excuses and began to walk away together. The other girl kept looking behind at me and I felt very uncomfortable, wondering what I had done wrong. I chased after them asking them why they were leaving and what I had done wrong. The girl yelled back that they didn’t want me to come with them. So I stayed back and felt horrible and rejected.

The feelings were intense enough to wake me up.

Wide awake I immediately was reminded of all the times in my life when similar things had happened. I began to beat myself up, telling myself, “I am not good at being a friend” and “No one likes me” and “It is better if I just don’t try to be friends”. There were other thoughts as well and they eventually made me cry, though not huge amounts. I have lived with these feelings my whole life and I wondered, “Why? Why does this keep coming up? Why won’t it go away? What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I be a good friend? What is wrong with me?”

I couldn’t sleep and the feeling was lingering. Yet I had this distinct calm wash over me along with the feeling that I needed to examine the scene in the dream. What happened?

As soon as I started looking at what I did rather than what they did, I saw what the problem was. I hadn’t been listening. I had missed something. Some nonverbal cue. And it had been my downfall. I broke communication with my friend. I was no longer sharing her reality. And because of that she was hurt and thus, wanted to get away from me and avoid it happening again.

Relief followed this realization and then I began to remember similar times in my past when this happened. They piled on top of one another and they were all the same. All this time I had thought they were mean. They were the ones who had been out to hurt me. It was their fault, not mine. And I understood. I was not a good listener. I was not caring about them. It was all me, me, me. I lost a best friend for that and I have few friends now because of that.

Yet I also realized everyone else is the same. They are like me. They want to be heard. They want to be listened to. They will seek out those who listen. Who will hear. I have stopped trying to seek out someone who will listen. I have been hurt too many times and it isn’t worth it. But maybe, just maybe, I have been wrong this whole time and if I just listened to others without any expectations for myself things would be different.

All these thoughts kept me awake from 4am to around 5:30am. I had given up on returning to sleep.

graycat_chairOBEs

Then I was dreaming again. I was at a house this time. The owners were moving out and me and my mother and some other family I did not recognize were watching them. They were unable to take everything with them and they were leaving behind their three dogs. I lingered, watching them. They gave us permission to take what they left so I went inside while my mom waited in the car outside. I remember seeing the dogs, two of them huge Basset Hounds with long hair and one a small Beagle. They were running into the road and I had concern they would be hit.

I spent a while inside the house collecting mostly toys my kids would like. Their garage was full of them. I then wandered into the back yard but it started to get dark and my mom was yelling at me to hurry. I then saw a light shine through a window and went back inside, roaming through the kitchen and then making my way back into the yard. When I looked up, though, there was a ceiling and I was confused for a moment. That particular room was run down and dirty.

It was at this point that I suddenly gained awareness and the entire scene vanished. I was no longer in that dark house but in a newer one with brand new wood floors and nice furnishings. I was instantly happier and lighter and crawled along the wood floors like an infant. I was very aware of being naked and thinking about how I must look to someone, concerned about the way my breasts must have looked but not so much to worry about it.

As soon as I stopped caring about how I looked I felt myself lift up and I stretched out my astral body and willed myself up into the air. I was a bit unsteady at first but soon was hovering over the floor and then flying towards the door. The room instantly got brighter and I could see the furniture of the living area in front of me.

But I lost energy and the room instantly darkened. I was then hovering near my body and disappointed to have left. I willed myself back and there I was again, in the house. This time, however, I was standing in the kitchen, There was a yellow hue around everything and the floors were very shiny. I looked around and took in the scene. It was bright and I did not have any issue with seeing. I was glad for this. I had worried something was wrong with me in my last OBE since I couldn’t see well.

Then I heard a scratching coming from a door in the kitchen. I went over to it, looking closely at the white shutters that covered the bottom of the door. Since I could see outside I pulled back two slats of the shutters to look out. I could see a small shadow outside. I yelled at the animal, “You can’t come in!” and left the door as it was but the two slats fell off, broken. I knew the animal was a gray cat and I didn’t want him inside. I don’t like cats.

I then lost vision and I returned to my body. I stayed in the in-between state for some time, trying to decide if I would go back. The energy buzzed around me and felt comforting. I could feel that it was more intense around my heart chakra. I allowed the hypnagogic images to come in and watched them for a while. I almost went into one but my curiosity caused the image to suddenly fade. I eventually gave up and opened my eyes.

Evidence of Integration

I was told a while back to expect changes resulting from merging with my Higher Self. I was not given much information as to what that meant but had faith that it was a good thing. Since then I have experienced some subtle changes that I believe are a result of this merging process, also known as integration.

Of course there are my OBEs. They started back up at the beginning of the merging and have since continued, becoming more frequent and interesting. I suspected my OBEs from yesterday were an attempted soul retrieval which was later confirmed by some avid astral travelers I communicate with. This is a big changed from my previous astral experiences and I can’t help but wonder if perhaps I am going to have more similar experiences.

Then there is the change in how I perceive things. My guides still communicate with me, but during the day their messages are more blended with my own thoughts – almost imperceptible. I often miss their messages because of this but eventually they get through to me, one way or the other. The best example of this was the message to integrate yoga into my life.

Then there is the overall different feeling I have. It is hard to explain but I feel more whole than I did a couple of years ago. I am more certain and less likely to accept things in my life that I do not want. Yes I have been depressed more often but I think that is part of the process. I am healing and purging some repressed emotions which opens chakras and creates all sorts of symptoms (kundalini symptoms) that can be quite bothersome.

I don’t know how much longer this will all take but I am getting a glimpse of what I will be like in the end and I am liking it.

by

Into The Deep

I was awakened at 4am by my daughter. She must have caught my cold because she was coughing but it was just the typical dry cough that comes with postnasal drip. She went back to sleep but I, of course, could not. Then, whenever I would start to doze off, she would cough loudly once or twice and wake me up again. So, I went to another room to try and get some uninterrupted sleep.

I tossed and turned for some time, thinking, “I should just get up. I’m too awake”. A song kept going through my mind by Saints of Valory, Neon Eyes (Into the Deep), specifically the part, “But won’t you follow me, into the deep”. I just kept singing it over and over and finally decided to stop. Then I got hungry so I had to run to the kitchen for a snack. Finally, stomach content and mind quiet, I drifted off to sleep.

OBE #1: Hotel

I don’t remember what I was dreaming about, but I know I was dreaming. What I do remember is being awakened by someone brushing against me. I opened my eyes suddenly and scanned the darkened room. But it wasn’t the bedroom I was in. It looked like a hotel room. I could see the windows, the door and the edge of the bed I was laying on.

I looked around for whoever brushed against me and I heard crying. It was a quiet, sobbing sound and it was from a very small child. I urged myself to get out of bed to help. As I slid out of bed, my astral body felt heavy, as if I were carrying forty pounds of dead weight.

I mentally called out to the child, telling her it was okay. Then I saw her. She ran up to me and took my hand. She was very tiny, only about two to three feet tall and looked up at me with big, tear filled eyes. She was wearing a pink dress that flared out like a tutu with white stockings that went right up to the bottom of the dress and pink Mary Jane’s. In the dark of the room, she seemed to glow with her own light and I immediately wanted to help her.

I followed her toward the door, still feeling very heavy. The heavy energy was pulling me down and I knew I needed more energy. I tried to summon it, but the moment I began to ask I rushed back into my body.

OBE #2: Negative Feeling

I immediately set the intention to return and I was back in the bed, in the dark hotel room. I got out of bed, my astral body again feeling burdened by heavy energy. I began to make my way toward the door but stopped. I didn’t like the feeling of the place or the feeling of my energy. This time there was no little girl and I felt a strong sense that something was not quite right. In the little time I was there, I gathered heaps of information. All at once the knowledge was there and I knew what the bad feeling was. There was negative sexual energy and it was focused on the child. There was a child molester involved in the energy.

Within moments of recognizing all this I was sucked back into my body once again. I lay in the buzzing sensation that surrounded me for a moment and set the intention to return again. Instantly, I returned once again to the scene.

OBE #3: Energy

This time I got out of my body quickly and with less heaviness but it felt like I was dragging myself behind me. The farther I got from my starting point, the easier it got. I reached the door and opened it, intent on getting out of the hotel room and leaving the negative energy behind me. I looked up at the stars and thought how nice it would be to be able to see daylight. Why was it still so dark? I wanted to shift to another scene, anywhere but where I was. And I knew that in order to do this I needed to free myself of the heaviness I was feeling.

I rubbed the palms of my hands together and said, “I need more energy”. The minute I said this I was hit with intense amounts of energy. I felt like I was buzzing while at the same time being shaken. It is hard to describe. It felt like my astral body was shifting back and forth very quickly.

I was disappointed to find myself back in my body as the shifty sensations continued. I thought, “What did I do wrong?” and realized that asking for more energy had not been the right thing to do. But what was?

I wanted to return to astral but there was a nagging feeling that it was almost time to get up and that I had things to do. Reluctantly, I moved and stretched out my body, leaving the prospect of another trip OOB behind me. Again the song repeated in my mind, “But won’t you follow me, into the deep”.

Note: It was suggested by other astral travelers that this OBE was in fact an attempted soul retrieval. This is the first ever soul retrieval OBE I recall having and I am curious if there will be others.

by

I Wanna See Sunshine

I know I wrote recently that I was told while, also simultaneously knowing, that I need to stop going OOB for a while. Yet this morning I experienced more OBEs than I can count. I lost track after about my fourth exit from my body. In fact, I had so many that I hardly remember the first few, which is unfortunate.

Dream

Before my OBEs I awoke from a disturbing dream. In the dream, I was in a parking lot with a man who was stealing a woman’s dog. It was a brown and white Sheltie. The man had it wrapped up in a white blanket and was trying to drive off in his pickup truck. I climbed in holding a 22 caliber pistol strait at him and warned him that I would shoot if he continued trying to drive away. I stopped for a moment looking at the gun I was holding and thinking, “I don’t want to kill this man”. As I did, the gun shrank and appeared to be a BB gun. The man did not listen to me and began to shift the truck into reverse, so I shot him multiple times with the BB gun.

I grabbed the small dog and remember thinking how awful that anyone would want to hurt a defenseless animal. I felt so much sympathy for the little dog. At that moment I remembered my own dog, Trooper, and was filled with huge amounts of guilt and shame for how I allowed him to suffer before finally putting him out of his misery. The shame finally woke me up and I laid in bed near tears for a while, telling my guide I wanted the feeling to stop. I just wanted it to stop.

OBEs

I got up and used the restroom and tried to go back to sleep but I could not stop swallowing from a sudden onset of nasty postnasal drip. My body also felt very stiff and achy and the only position that was comfortable was laying on my back. Ugh! I am getting sick, I thought. The last thing I remember was thinking about my dog and how I was warned a year prior of his upcoming death. I was being hard on myself, telling myself I was “stupid” and “avoiding the inevitable” resulting in my dog, and me, suffering more than necessary. I remember telling my guide, “You told me, yet when the time came you were silent.” And I recognized this theme repeating in my life – being told of future things and then getting no information near the time the event occurs.

Cleaning Floors

The very next memory I had was being out of my body. I was in my Mom’s house standing in her kitchen watching the floor being cleaned by my middle son. It was an odd sight and I remember thinking, “Why is he cleaning the floor?” He was naked and had a white cleaning cloth in his hands he was using to scrub the floor. The kitchen furniture had been removed so all I could see was the brown tile floor and my 3 year old son cleaning.

I instantly knew I was OOB and so began to move away from the weird scene and towards the door. I wanted outside. Plus, it was dark and I wanted to see better.

When I opened the door it was still dark outside. I don’t remember much after this except feeling the familiar pull of my body. I also remember hovering right near my body for some time and having a conversation with someone.

Shadow Man

The next thing I remember, I was with several young people. I was laying in my bed and they were around me. I remember knowing I was OOB but I was too mesmerized by the people to really think about it. Everything felt so real and I was surprised by how solid I felt. It was so surreal! I kept looking at them and one took my hand and led towards a car. The other two people got in and I followed. The car was a small, red car but I am not sure what type, maybe a Honda Fit?

I don’t know where we went but I do remember moving in the car for a bit. The movement felt like we were floating rather than driving on a road. The trip is hazy, though, like I lost lucidity for some time. What I next recall is somewhat odd and scary, though. This time I remember seeing the back of a person I did not recognize. He was dark and I could not see anything except the lack of color. I was sitting very close to him when he turned around and grabbed me. I saw his face, but it was changing and shifting and I knew I should confront him because he was not real, he was me; my fears. But before I could do anything the fear caught hold of me and overwhelmed me. I instantly went back to my body. I did not awaken, though. Instead I opened my astral eyes and saw this blue veil, like a window curtain with light behind it. The light got brighter as I watched. Instead of following, I withdrew and allowed myself to settled into my body.

zebraZebra

There were several other exits from my body but they are all a blur now. I would leave, find myself in my Mom’s house, go outside and then be pulled back to my body. This happened about four more times before I realized I needed more energy and focus to make my experiences more worthwhile.

The next time I left my body, I opened my eyes to find myself in my Mom’s kitchen once again. It was dark but not so dark I couldn’t see and there were more people in the kitchen this time. All of them were cleaning the kitchen floor! I don’t know who the people were, but this time I spoke with them. I don’t remember what was said word-for-word, but it was about the floors and why they were being cleaned. The gist of our conversation was that the floors being cleaned were representative of me.

At some point in the conversation I wanted to go outside. But this time I wanted it to be light outside. I needed to see. I knew I needed energy for that to happen so I rubbed the palms of my hands together vigorously and said, “More energy please”. Then, I got the idea to ask for something else. I wanted to see what would happen if I asked to see my Higher Self. So, as I went through the door I stated, “I want to see my Higher Self” and then repeated it. When I opened the door it was still twilight but instead of seeing the front yard I saw a small, brown horse standing in front of me. When I saw him I was delighted and yelled out, “Hi!” and his name, but I cannot remember his name now except that it started with an “A” and was three syllables. Then I looked to my left and there was this enormous Zebra walking towards me. He was at least ten feet tall and very vivid. When I saw him I was delighted and said, “Hi Steven!” I noticed there were others with him, probably about three or four that I could count right off, but they were not as big and I don’t know if they were zebras or horses, just that they were all animals.  I insteantly knew I was seeing my guides and knew also they were coming to me in the form of animals for a reason, though the reason was a mystery to me.

As Steven the zebra approached me I got worried and backed up. The feeling was, “I don’t want this” as if letting him come closer meant something scary would happen. What? I don’t know. The minute I backed away I lost hold and fell back into my body with quite a bit of force. I immediately felt my pillow over my eyes and kept them closed as I recognized I was in my bed and there was no zebra coming toward me.

I Wanna See Sunshine

I knew I was still in-between states and could return whenever I wanted. So I made a plan. This time I would go back and I would make it light outside so I could see. I also kept the intention to meet up with my Higher Self.

I opened my astral eyes and found myself inside the house again but this time I was standing at the front door. I immediately went outside.

When I walked outside the door I was thinking about how I wanted to see light outside. With that thought I began singing a song at the top of my lungs – “I wanna see sunshine on my way”. As I sang, I noticed the outside was still dark but that there were sparks of light popping up and moving about me as if they were alive. It was like I was surrounded with stars or huge fireflies. The light moved around me and sparkled in the darkness.

At this point I saw that I was holding hands with my daughter. I was delighted! She did not speak to me but I could feel her little hand and see her very clearly. I wanted to show her how to fly, so I took her hand and pulled her up with me as I launched up into the sky. I was still singing at the top of my lungs – “I wanna see sunshine on my way”.

As we topped the trees, I looked down and saw construction machinery, bulldozers and backhoes. Each of them was sitting digger-1198220-min an illuminated bubbled of white light and surrounded by black. It was like someone wanted me to see each of the machines rather than the trees and land around them. The visual of the construction equipment is still the most vivid memory I have of this experience. They were very out of place.

Once I saw the machinery I noticed I was still singing at the top of my lungs, my hand still holding my daughter’s hand. We continued to face the machines as a force began to pull up backward and upward. I continued to sing as I noticed buildings and lights flash by us as we increased in speed. I felt like I was flying backward at hundreds of miles per hour.

I remember thinking we just passed San Fransisco and were heading toward the Pacific Ocean. I remember seeing a flash of the San Francisco bridge and the lights of the city sparkling in the dark of early morning. I then wondered how far we were going to go. Where were we going?

With my concern growing the scene blacked out all at once and I immediately woke up in my body. I felt my hands resting on my stomach and began to move them. When I did, I noticed they were tingling and numb. I also heard my daughter scream something and knew it was morning and my children were already up.

Hot Tub

Despite moving and noting that it was morning, I managed to find my way back out of my body. This time I was standing next to a hot tub. Inside it were two women and one man. They were lounging in it and I was looking at them and talking to them about why I was not able to stay OOB for as long as I wanted to. I could hear the bubbles of the water as it circulated around the hot tub and see the steam from the heat dancing in front of the faces of the occupants. I remember saying, “I am having trouble with having enough energy” and “I wish I could stay out longer”. The whole time I felt happy and at ease; almost bubbling over with joy and excitement. The people in the hot tub felt like family. In fact, I remember feeling a bit confused because I kept thinking of them as my siblings but they did not look like my brother and sisters. The man was very feminine looking, almost asexual, with dark hair. The women had light brown hair but I do not remember much except their eyes and how they looked at me lovingly. All three of them appeared to be quite young, probably around 20 at the most.

At some point I decided I wanted to get into the hot tub. I put my arm in the water and felt that it was very warm. I commented on its warmth as I allowed myself to be surrounded by the water. I then looked at the guy who was straight in front of me and he said, “What?” I said back to him, “You know what”, and went straight toward him, convinced that my energy problem stemmed directly from a blockage in my root chakra.

I woke up soon after this feeling a buzzing in my root chakra along with some mild cramping and aching in my abdominal area. I knew instantly that I was OOB specifically to help clear my energy blockages. I still felt sluggish from sleep and tried to go back OOB but my daughter came in with my husband telling me they wanted me to go out to eat breakfast with them. I still had the song I was singing in my head as I got out of bed.

by

Underground Warehouse – July, 2014

This week has been exhausting. My mornings start at 5:30am and I often do not get to bed until 10:30-11pm. Then my baby wakes up 2-3 times a night, so my sleep is continually interrupted even with the help of my husband. It is no wonder that last night, after being woken up for the fourth time, I crawled out of bed and carried a pillow and blanket to my son’s room to try and get some sleep.

Noticing I had left and obviously sleep deprived himself, my husband stomped into the room and left baby with me, yelling something at me that I could not hear through my earplugs. Realizing I wouldn’t get anymore sleep I got up and took baby back into our bedroom and then went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. It was 6am by that time I had given up on sleep yet I did not want to get up. Since baby was back asleep, I went back to my son’s room and laid down on his bed.

I was obviously upset. My whole body felt stiff and thoughts were running through my head about how to figure out how I could get a reprieve. I felt like there was no where to go to get some peace and quiet. Although my commute and time at work is time alone it is not a relaxing time. So, all I could think about was how to find time for myself, but I couldn’t see that happening.

As my thoughts raced I realized that time alone just wasn’t going to happen. I kept thinking over and over, “I want out”. At the time I felt unable to control these thoughts. Although I have been ultra busy and exhausted these last two weeks, my mood has been high even when at my tiredest. I guess it caught up to me.

After what seemed like a long time, I suddenly noticed that my body was no longer tense. Instead my body felt relaxed and almost floaty. It was then that I heard my guide say, “You feel better now, don’t you?” The thoughts were gone and I began to hear the words to the Lumineers song Stubborn Love going through my mind – “Keep you head up, my love”. Recognizing that I could finally sleep, I drifted off.

Underground Warehouse

I soon found myself in a semi-lucid dream walking towards a house. I was with some others and we were talking about the house as if it were the new house we just moved into but it didn’t look anything like our new home. It was brown instead of white and seemed dark and gloomy. It was also dark outside.

Inside I was drowsy and not fully alert. My mind felt foggy as I drifted down our stairs to the kitchen. My husband was there with our children and I went to the table to eat dinner with them. The entire time I felt like

I did not belong there; like a stranger in a strange new place. The feeling became strong, so I left the table and went to the bar to eat. I looked down at the pasta I was eating and then felt eyes on me. It was my husband giving me a questioning look. I told him I preferred to eat at the bar. 

The feeling of the dream was similar to how I felt when I fell asleep – I wanted out. So I walked outside and into the road where there were some parked cars. It was twilight and for some reason I was carrying in my hand a piece of bread.

As I walked farther out into the road, a orange striped cat came running towards me and grabbed onto the bread. I let it go so he could have it and noticed the cat was young, maybe only 1 year old, and very hungry. I told him he could have the bread and watched as he growled defensively and began to devour it. That was when I saw another cat of similar age come out, a little black tabby. I remember thinking the cats were abandoned and that we could give them a good home. I walked toward them and spoke softly to them so as to not scare them. That was when I noticed that the piece of bread was now a little black and white hamster. Not wanting it to die, I quickly gathered it up in my hands before they decided to eat it.

The scene went dark and I soon found myself walking outside of the house with a man. He was talking about a basement and showing me the door. I walked over the top of the basement, a large concrete slab, remarking that it might be a tornado shelter but soon decided it was too large for that.

We descended stairs and inside I was surprised to find a huge warehouse structure with steel beams. It was enormous! There were various objects around and I remember thinking about how we could use the space and talking about putting our trampoline in there as well as a weight room. As I looked around me, I remember seeing an old, white 1950s car (corvette?) and baby toys among other things. I also saw mechanic’s tools and a crane. There were others with me, both male and female, and I talked with them though I don’t remember what we talked about.

 As we talked, I kept feeling like I wanted to sleep but managed to stay awake. I believe this sleepiness is a result of my awareness shifting. I remember at one point I saw my husband holding our baby the wrong way and swooped in to save him from falling. This woke me up quite a bit and my awareness heightened.

As I was preparing to leave the warehouse I saw an adjoining warehouse just as big, if not bigger, than the one we were in. They called it the “game room” and I could see that it had a large air hockey set up where the figures were about half the size of a grown man. At first I was not interested in it but finally I went closer to see it. I noticed the platform that was holding the set up was partly broken down. I never went into the room. I recall telling my guides several times throughout this dream sequence, “I don’t want to be here” and “I want to stay”. The first statement at first seemed that I did not want to be in the dream but as the dream progressed I realized I was referring to being in this life, with my family, at this particular moment. The latter statement referred to me staying with my guides.

Astral Message

Recognizing that I was in a dream, I began to take control of my surroundings. The scene in front of me once again blacked out and I could feel the familiar shift in energy that comes from moving from one level to the next. I did not resist and allowed myself to make the transition.

When my vision returned I was standing in my son’s bedroom looking at the window, most likely very near my sleeping physical body (I wish I had thought to look at it!). I moved toward the window and  raised the blinds. I looked out and saw that my front yard was dusted with a light dusting of snow. It was sparkling and brilliant, appearing almost like tiny diamonds below me. I recall thinking the snow was not normal; that it must mean something but could not figure out exactly what.

Excited to get out of the house and explore, I opened the window and pushed out the screen. Standing on the edge of the window I peered down at what appeared to be a huge drop down to the snow below. I looked across at our oak tree and saw a pear, ripe for the picking, sparkling with specks of ice. I intended to pick the pear and for a moment hesitated, worrying I would drop to the ground instead of fly. Discarding my doubt I jumped out of the window.

At first I did fly but soon found myself pulled towards the ground. It was as if I were being led down – a very gradual downward pull/nudge. When I reached the ground I immediately bounced back up, willing myself to fly up and over the neighborhood . Yet I hesitated. Instead I looked down at the dusting of sparkling snow below and felt like I needed to go down this time.

When I got down to ground level I was met by two women who were standing in front of my garage. I knew them and greeted them enthusiastically, saying, “Hi!”. Both women were short. One was approximately 5ft tall and the other just a bit taller than that. I seemed to tower above them both.

The shorter woman had salt and pepper hair that was cut short in the typical style women in their 50s will wear. She reminded me of a woman I know in real life. She replied back to me, “Hi Dayna”. She was the one who was doing most of the talking although the other woman stayed close.

I told her, “I want to stay” but I did not have any feelings of sadness. It was just a statement of fact.

The woman smiled and said, “I know but you need to play the game”. I remember holding onto the word “game” and thinking to myself, “She called it a game”.

Although I don’t remember the rest of what she told me, I do remember that her message was clear. I could not stay there with them. I had things to do. I would get rest soon and just needed to be patient.

While the shorter woman was talking, another taller woman approached us from the side. She had been there all along but I had not really focused on her. She was very tall, probably about 6ft, and had short blonde hair. She appeared to be in her 40s and I would describe her as very German-like. Her demeanor was that of a very strong woman and she held herself very tall and stiff. I laugh now to think about her, as she looks almost identical to an actress (don’t know her name) who often plays German female characters who are strict and dictatorial. I remember that she seemed very displeased with what was going on. I got the distinct feeling that I was not suppose to be there and she was unhappy that I had been allowed to return and meet with them. I didn’t understand this and did not linger on it. I could care less that she was unhappy with me. I was there!

The three of them stood there with me and I was completely happy to be in their company. I turned and hugged each of them enthusiastically, kneeling down to hug the shorter of the three. I remember that when I hugged the tall, blonde that her stiffness softened and she hugged me back. I excitedly called out their names, calling the short woman “Mary” and the tall woman, “Christina”. When I called the short woman Mary I changed my mind and said, “No, it’s Maria”. She nodded and said, “Yes, Maria”. This pleased me to no end and I was just happy being there in their company.

It was then that Maria began to walk away with the other two. I watched her leave and then she stopped and turned around. She said to me, “Just remember to….” but stopped. I said, “What?” She seemed to reconsider her words and said, “Never mind. Just tell Daniella….” but again she stopped. I got the feeling she did not want me to remember and so stopped as I was holding on to every word she said with quite a bit of interest.

I do recall repeating what they said in my mind several times in order to remember. When she said the name Daniella I was confused. I thought, Who is Daniella? I don’t know her.

The scene went black as Maria walked away and I felt the familiar pull back into my body. As my energy settled I opened my eyes and realized I had been OOB.

Considerations

This is the first time I have had an astral experience like this (that I can remember anyway). Usually I do not get pulled toward the ground. In fact, I usually feel the opposite – pulled up. And never has my astral trip been so specifically focused upon me meeting up with my guides in such a way. Not only did I recognize these three women but I called them by name. Where were the familiar male guides I usually see in astral?

I can tell that I am advancing based upon this experience. I was very aware of the two different aspects of my Self throughout. There was the me that wanted to fly and explore (the “child”), and then there was the me who was purpose-driven and there for a reason the other me did not know about. Though distinctly different, the two were in harmony and felt more like two parts of a whole. I also seemed to know that my guides had called me there and then I remembered them and their names.

There was also so much that was not spoken aloud in this experience. The overall messages that were passed between myself and the others and between the three of them was that I was not suppose to be astralling at this time because it created problems. Mainly, it caused and increase in my desire to leave this body. I got the distinct impression that the other two female guides had chosen to speak to me and the third one was not in full agreement. It actually felt similar to parents disagreeing on how to discipline and parent a child, one insisting on following the rules and the other insisting on exceptions to those rules. Regardless, I was allowed to meet up with them and it was made very clear that I must fulfill my purpose before leaving this life.

by

Autism and Ascension

treesunI was a bit sleep deprived yesterday as I drove in to work. It was my first day and I arrived 10 minutes late. Usually it would upset me, but I just shrugged it off. Don’t sweat the small stuff, right? My boss was understanding, which I figured he would be.

My day was a bit slow at first. I was taken for a tour of the campus and then to my office – or, er room. To my surprise my office space was the size of a small classroom with a huge walk-in closet space for storage. Wow. I was not prepared for such a large space and so felt a bit overwhelmed. But then I got to work brainstorming what I could do with the space.

Autism

After lunch I met with an occupational therapist and a speech therapist who I will be working with. I immediately like them and we discussed social skills groups for middle school students. Since my space was so large, we decided to use it for the groups. I learned that all the students involved – around 18 – are autistic or display characteristics of autism. I had been told in advance that I would be working with two autistic students but not so many. Thankfully I have the support of the OT who spent the previous year working with the students and find tuning the groups.

I am not very familiar with autism except from what I have learned via my studies and my one experience with a student with Aspergers Syndrome. From what little I know, autism can range from severe to mild with the main issue being the individual struggles with the ability to recognize social cues. There are also speech and cognitive delays early on, delays in motor development, intense interest or fixation with things, objects or activities (or the exact opposite) and other obsessive tendencies. I have an inkling that autism is the predecessor to how ascension will affect humanity in the future. This has not been fully revealed to me, however, and this is the first time I have mentioned it at all because the information is so incomplete. My exact purpose for interacting with these children is not completely known to me yet, either, but I feel it goes hand in hand with my life purpose to help prepare the path ahead for those following behind.

landscapeStrange Dream Experience

I left my first day of work feeling hopeful. My mind was buzzing with ideas on how to decorate my space so I went shopping and bought a few things. On my way home I was caught in a horrible traffic jam that I learned would not let up for hours. I spent the next hour following Navigator’s suggestion on the fastest route home. I returned home exhausted but thankfully my husband beat me home and my mother-in-law made dinner. I was able to rest and hit the sack earlier than usual.

I awoke in the middle of the night wide awake. I tried to return to sleep but just couldn’t so I set the intention to astral and relaxed on my back with my head propped up.

The next thing I remember is dreaming but the dream eludes me now. I do recall heading to bed in the dream and falling asleep. I slept very hard and when I woke I found myself floating over my family’s land in the country.

There was no vibrational fluctuations to suggest that I went OOB but yet there I was, floating outside and seeing vividly the grass, trees and sky. I instantly recognized my grandparent’s place and hovered there taking in the expansiveness of the land around me. The colors were bright but not excessively so. In fact, it was just very much like I was awake except that I was floating in the air.

I stayed there a while, not moving much, having a conversation in my mind with someone that I could not see. Of course, I don’t remember the conversation now except that I wanted to change scenes and go somewhere more interesting. The minute I had that thought I began to feel myself being pulled upward with great speed. I saw the tops of the trees and resisted the pull, knowing it would take me into outer space and then I would ultimately wake up back in my body. I did not want that and so I closed my eyes and willed myself to transition out of there. But to where? I had no set place in my mind.

I felt the familiar shift in energy that suggests I have transitioned to a new environment. Yet when I opened my eyes I was still hovering at tree level over my grandparent’s land. In front of me was their driveway and to my left was the open field they called the Klein patch.

I again recall that I was speaking with someone but I can’t remember any of the conversation now. Instead, it is all a blur and somewhat dream-like when I try to remember it in detail.

The next thing I remember is waking up in my bed, realizing I had been OOB and then deciding to go back to sleep without much thought about the uneventful astral I just experienced.

Ascension

Today I am mulling over yesterday’s events from my first day at work to the strange dream/OBE I had. What was I talking with my guide about? Why can’t I remember? And what is the connection between autism and ascension?

I feel there is more to know but that I am blocked to receiving all the information at this time. There is a part of me that is considering channeling but it has been so long since I have channeled that I am uncertain that I can keep my ego at bay well enough to get the truth.

What I am aware of is that the feelings of negativity and longing for Home that I was feeling just a few days ago has all but been extinguished. The energy that accompanied this feeling also has calmed and I, in turn, feel much calmer. I felt this way yesterday while at work as well and I found myself intuitively knowing things about people before they spoke. In fact, I had to stop or correct myself several times during conversations because those I was speaking to looked at me like, “How did you know that?” Oops!

I am still also very affected by the intense love and dedication I felt all around me while at work. I said several times, “It is obvious this place is loved” or “It is obvious someone loves this place”. I wonder if that is why there are so many more autistic children there? And I have an inkling that these children are extremely sensitive to the energy of others and of the planet and so such an environment is calming to them. And to me.

I look forward to seeing where this will lead.

by

Death and Hair Dye

I am not trying to be morbid, really. It’s just that my dreams are morbid lately. Specifically they seem to be discussions between myself and my group of guides about the possibility of death in the near future.

D6a53f-twinflamespiral500eath

My night was filled with many wakings and, in-between wakings, lots of dreams. The first dream I recall was about my own death. In all my life I have never had a dream of my own death! The dream wasn’t about the death event itself, it was more about me, in Spirit, attending to people who would grieve my passing.

I went around in what appeared to be this hazy, 3D space that was partially lit but mostly dark and shadowy. I heard people talking amongst themselves and could see their shadows around me. They were talking about me. How the accident was unexpected and I died quickly, likely experiencing no pain. I immediately assumed it was a car accident and became more interested.

The majority of the dream continues in a haze with me hearing people talking about me and watching their reactions to my death. I saw my mother and my older sister among other people. I do not remember seeing my husband and three children. My older sister was especially upset, nearing hysterics, and her emotion drew me to her. I felt helpless as I watched her cry, knowing it was me who caused her reaction but also feeling it was necessary.

Hair Dye

This dream was a pun on death. I didn’t know it until I woke up, though.

It was set in a hair salon but it was closed and dark. I was inside and aware that someone was trying to break in. I hid beneath some chairs and watched as the people broke in. They were not bad looking but I felt I should hide anyway. There was a brief period of some part of the dream that I do not remember here. I just recall that my deceased grandparents were in it and there was discussion amongst us about our family and memories of this life. I also recall feeling as if I were with my grandparents on the Other Side waiting for the rest of my family to return Home.

At some point I found myself back in the salon talking to a woman. She was showing me a package of hair dye. She said, “I bought it for $17.99”. I remember looking at it and its contents and then telling her, “I usually pay over $100 to get my hair dyed. That is why I usually only do it once a year”.

I awoke suddenly at this point. I was frantic. Death? Hair dye = dying? What is going on??

My guide was close saying, “It’s alright” but I did not think it was alright. My dreams told me what was going on. I was discussing my own death. Why? And I remember talking to my guide some time ago about when I would die. He told me, “You will know”, as if I would just know when my time was close. I did not really understand what he was talking about back then but now, at this particular moment, I was beginning to understand.

You see, a part of me was calm and rational while the other part, the part freaking out after waking from a dream, was irrational and emotional. The rational part said it was okay, this was just part of the process and that I still had time but needed to get my shit together. I tried to ignore that part of me, wanting more to think it was all just an odd dream, but my heart felt differently and my third eye was buzzing.

Eventually, after I calmed down, I let myself doze some more but felt I would never return to sleep. As I lay there, I began feeling I should get a will written up and started to think about what to do with my assets. It was bothersome and made no sense. Really? A will? I am too young for that.

Rejectedgun

I managed to fall asleep again and found myself in another dream about death. This time I was visiting my mother’s home in the future. I discovered that my mother had agreed to help my two sisters financially, even letting them live with her again. Rather than charge them rent she decided they needed her help for free but she told me that I would not get it for free and that I owed her $9,100 from the time when I stayed with her during hard times. I was upset. I had paid her rent and even gave her money for food during that time. If anything, we were even! I got so mad at her that I packed up my things and told my husband I was never going to talk to her again. On my way out I saw my sisters and told them I hoped they enjoyed their free ride. I was not mad at them but I did not feel a part of their life. I had a feeling of being “done” when I left the home.

When I was leaving, a group of family I did not recognize was driving up. I had a BB gun in my hand for some reason and began shooting at them. I recall seeing a pool and walking around it toward them, telling them to not be afraid, it was just a BB gun.

There was something about my grandparents in this dream as well, though I can’t recall it now. The feeling was that I was no longer a part of the family anymore. That I was not needed. There was also a feeling of injustice.

I woke up with a start again, this time wide awake. I couldn’t go back to sleep so I checked the time. 5:00am. I tossed and turned but still couldn’t go to sleep. I was also hungry. Grrr! So I got up and ate some yogurt and saw my husband leaving the house with baby in tow. He was going for a run at 5:30am. Not unusual but it got me to worrying that he would forget to get my daughter ready for school. It was his turn.

Conscious Exit

When I returned to bed for the umpteenth time I decided to just lay on my back and “rest”. I considered that I might astral since it was happening so frequently. So I asked my guide to help me experience it more thoroughly this time. I really wanted to pay attention to the details that I often ignore. But honestly, I just wanted to go back to sleep and get my dreams out of my head. I did not want to confront the possibility of my own death.

I must have fallen to sleep, but I don’t remember doing so. I became lucid almost immediately because I was laying in my bed talking to a friend’s daughter and she was acting like a little baby. She is 4 years old, though. I looked at her closely in the dream and the dream scene vanished and went black.

I immediately became aware that I was floating in a horizontal position. I thought I was in my body at first but then as soon as I had this thought I decided to test it. I floated up a bit and then I went down and through the bed. I also went vertical when this happened. I had only mental vision until I recognized I was OOB. The instant I recognized it, my vision turned on vividly.

I was hit with memories of my earlier conscious exits and the familiarity helped me recognize that all I needed to do now was seize the opportunity by taking that first “step” away from my body. I sat up and, feeling I was free, took off flying.

I do not recall leaving through the window or the passage that led from the scene within my bedroom to the one I ended up in. I was just instantly somewhere else. I was flying very fast, too. So fast that the scene buzzed by without me taking much notice.

I slowed and hovered for a moment above what looked to be a college campus because there was this green lawn collegesurrounded by sidewalks that circled it. All about where young people in groups. Some were sitting on the grass, others were walking together with books in hand. They all seemed happy. I did not know who they were or why I was there and did not really stop to consider it. I just knew I was not interested. I also felt like I had come to a present-time scene somewhere and was literally watching students start their day at school.

I saw a young man with sandy blonde hair and a horizontally striped polo shirt walking with some friends near the road. For some reason I decided to fly right through him. When I did, I did not feel anything really except a pause, as if I were slowed down for a moment, but the young man stopped and I heard him call out in surprise. He never saw me, though.

Excited that I was successful, I flew up and over the road where I saw a group of young students waiting at a covered bus stop. I did not recognize it or where it was and just flew by, hoping to catch some of what they were saying. I was thoroughly convinced that I was in present time and hoping I could get information about where I was.

I did hear them talking but it was not about anything that could help me determine where I was. They were just talking about school, friends, things they had done – normal conversation. I gave up and flew up in the sky and felt it pull me upward. I felt unable to stop moving up and I accelerated. Immediately upon realizing I was being pulled up, my vision blacked out. For some reason, though, I calmed down and began to reorient myself in space, righting myself vertically and saying, “Clarity now” once, though not with much certainty.

When my vision returned, I was floating over a city. It was dark, right before dawn I think because I could see the commuter traffic below me with their headlights on and could see that the street lights were lit despite the early light of dawn that made it possible to see without them. I became excited at this point and flew down alongside cars as they passed by. Again, I was hoping to hear conversations that would tell me where I was. I got close to a few cars but could not get inside. I noticed some people saw me while others did not. I also noted that the cars with people in them that saw me had children in them and were very full.

I decided to get inside a car by going in through the windshield. I came close and saw a baby in its car seat and stopped short because the man inside could see me. He looked at me like, “What the hell?” I was confused. Why did these people see me?

I flew up and above traffic, watching the lights pass by like a time lapsed video of traffic at night. It was beautiful! I moved along with it, faster still, and saw an overpass in front of me. I decided to go through it and when I did I could feel every fiber of it as it passed through me. I felt, for a moment, that I became the overpass.

alaskaAlaska

Then I was on the other side of the overpass. Triumphant, my vision went black and I instantly felt transitioned to another place. This time I was not alone. I was with a small girl, about the age of nine, with strawberry blond hair that went down to her waist. She held my hand and we walked through some rooms together. I asked her, “So this is the house?” She replied, “Yes”. 

I do not remember seeing anything special about the house but I do remember wondering if this was my future house. It was nice, quaint and very pretty overall. When we got into the living area I noticed that the windows had horizontal, wooden slats over them instead of curtains and they were not solid but had large spaces between them and the next slat. I could see outside through the windows. It was in the country. I remember asking the little girl a couple of times, “Is Ms. Dee here?” I don’t remember hearing an answer and I have no idea who Ms. Dee is.

The little girl went outside and I remember saying how nice it was there. She agreed and wanted to show me the back yard. We stepped out into the sunshine and I saw tall pine trees, bright blue sky and green foliage all around. The air was crisp and familiar. It was Alaska! But, I don’t live in Alaska. I ignored the confusion I was feeling and continued to follow the girl. It was a nice place.

As I stepped into the large back yard, I noticed I was on a patio that had steps leading down. I went down a couple and saw that on my right were pens. Inside were baby chickens. Their plumage blended in with the hay and pen, a mottled brown. I said, “Oh, baby chickens!” and the little girl stopped and we looked at them. 

I then spotted baby ducks as well. They also blended in and were a mottled brown color. They were very tiny and both the chicks and ducklings did not move much.

As the two of us walked up some stairs I stopped and pointed out two chicks to the little girl. “Be careful! There are two of them!” I could barely see them as they blended in with the dark wood of the steps.

Then my vision blacked out and I again found myself horizontal and floating superimposed over my physical body. My vision was clear and vivid, though, and as I blinked I could see white lace curtains over the window. The light was bright and it was so real I wondered if I should exit my body again. But I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I floated there for a little while, watching the lace curtains. Then I blinked and when I opened my eyes they were heavy and resistant and I could feel the shift that comes with settling back into my body. I opened my eyes and saw purple curtains with light shining through. Where did the lace ones come from?

What is Going on?

It has been an odd month. I have astral traveled quite frequently – twice this week alone and I am only half way through this week! My dreams have also been very vivid and strange. Plus, the death theme is starting to worry me. All this along with the realization that there is some kind of planning going on while I am in dreamland has me worried. Am I really preparing to exit this life?

Yesterday, while trying to watch a video by William Buhlman on YouTube, my guide approached me and I felt this sense of urgency. I did not really want to talk but his mere presence caused me to question the crazy dreams and experiences I have been having. I asked if it was true that I was nearing the end of this life. He did not answer but instead I was hit with a memory, it just popped into my mind.

I am a runner and ran a half marathon after the birth of my second son. I remembered it vividly and then, after I realized the memory fully, I heard my guide ask me, “When did you start to feel tired?” I remembered the tired feeling hit me around mile 12 of 13.1 miles. Then I recognized a similar tired feeling in this life. The feeling hit me the beginning of last year and has been increasing ever since. I suddenly saw a correlation and ultimately why my guide was asking me to compare the two.

On a long run you come to a point where you want to give up. You can’t yet see the finish line but you have been running so long and are so tired that all you can think about is giving up. You want to stop. You are tired to your bones. But you know, if you keep going, just a little bit farther, you will see the finish line. That is when your energy suddenly returns and you run enthusiastically. The triumph is palpable and when you cross the finish line you are greeted with a mass of people and cheers. You are tired and you instantly refuel and rest. You made it.

In this life I am at the 12 mile mark, or have been for a while. I can’t see the finish line and I just want to quit. I am so tired. I ache deep inside and feel I cannot go one more step. But, if what I am shown is correct, the finish line is just around the corner. It will come into view soon and the sight of it will re-energize me. I can’t give up when I am almost there!

The logical part of me wants to know how long, of course. So I got out my calculator to determine what percentage of the half marathon was finished before I felt ready to quit. It came out to 92%. If I apply that percentage to my current life, 92% means I have 4 more years to go.

All I can say is that if this analogy is taken literally I really do need to get my shit together.