Category Archives: chakras

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Making Connections

I felt the urge to review my other blog yesterday in between the powerful bliss episodes I experienced.

I have mentioned in other posts that I am a gridworker.  The region of the U.S. where I do most of my work is in the southeast, specifically Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, and sometimes Mississippi and South Carolina. Well, in my review of 2014 I discovered I have been traveling to this area for some time. I specifically mention traveling to Tennessee.

Below are a couple of intense experiences that I wrote about in 2014 along with a supporting sychronistic event. There are numerous others you can read if you like but these are the ones that seemed most relevant to me, probably because they involve a similar energy to what I was experiencing at the time.

Airport Reunion – July 15, 2014

In this dream I was with some friends, though I can’t remember them now. There was a distinct feeling that I was considering doing something “wrong”. The feeling hung around and seemed to grow through the dream. I felt horribly guilty.

As the dream progressed it became obvious what I was feeling guilty about. I had been ignoring the advances of a man for some time but I had felt a huge attraction for him and eventually I gave in. Then we were a “couple” though it was not sexual. I remember also that someone said “He pursued you” and that we were going on trip to Tennessee. However, I had lied to my husband and did not tell him that I planned to continue on from Tennessee to another, more northerly state after we got to Tennessee. Nor did I tell him about the man I would secretly go away with.

When we arrived at the airport, I sat and waited with this man. I felt at peace with him and I experienced such a strong love feeling in my heart that it extended down through to my root chakra. I did experience the sexual energy of the root chakra but it was different – it was elation mixed with a spiritual passion that is hard to describe. Had I been lucid in this dream it would have caused me to cry with joy. All I wanted to do was snuggle into this man’s arms. It was the same feeling I described having with one of my guides not long ago in a post. It was as if his energy calmed and soothed me and I felt like I was reunited with a piece of me that had been missing.

As we waited at the airport a large group of people came toward us – more people than I can count. I knew them all. They had come to welcome us. I immediately was aware that my husband was among them and I saw him come through the middle, smiling. I felt so much shame at what I had done that it was overwhelming but the man I was with soothed me and I felt the wonderful flood of peace/joy flood through me. He smiled and I asked him, “I get to go Home?” and he said, “Yes”.

That is when I woke up. The feelings lingered as I woke and I was horrified because I suspected that the dream was a premonition – that I would meet someone and leave my husband. And I knew, if the man I met made me feel like I felt in the dream that I would not be able to resist. The thought of that scared me and made me feel horribly unworthy and like a traitor without having done anything!

Kundalini Rising – July 26, 2014

In this particular dream I was with a man (same one as above) who was my partner/boyfriend. He was discussing with me a process he was going through and though he never spoke of it by name he allowed me to feel bits and pieces of this process in the dream. It felt very similar to how one feels when they are very attracted to another person but it had more of a high to it, like a drug. Since I was not able to fully experience it yet he told me that I would get to experience it soon.

The dream continued as I was waiting. We were at a party with other young people and there was a table with food on it. We were all partaking of the food and I remember talking with a woman who was my partner’s mother, though she looked too young. I wish I could remember what we were talking about but all I recall was thinking that I was about to take a very powerful drug.

I do not recall actually taking a drug but I saw others “on the drug” acting very happy and relaxed. Eventually, though, I did experience the feeling after watching these other young people experience it. I cannot describe it in words for there are no words that even come close to describing it accurately. I have experienced the feeling before but only once as I was coming out of a meditation years ago. It might be described by some as a sexual experience but if that were what it was then it is beyond any sexual experience I have experienced in this physical body. It does have some similarities to it. For example, there is a pulling sensation in the first and second chakra area that is very powerful and pleasant and it spreads out from that point to every part of the body and intensifies similar to the moment of orgasm. However, it does not stop but continues to escalate beyond any orgasmic experience, the feeling moving upward and downward at the same time along the center of the body (spine) while it also expands outward. It feels like a total body orgasm but the feeling is of such ecstasy that it could be described as similar to a very powerful drug. In this particular experience the feeling continued uninterrupted for what seemed like hours and I was completely absorbed by it, losing myself to it along side my partner.

July 31st Entry

On July 31, I wrote about a real-life experience I had on a flight to Florida. I knew I was about to meet a man named Michael and heard his name very clearly. Minutes later a man sat down in the seat next to me, turned around and introduced himself to me as “Michael”. We talked throughout the flight to Florida and he told me all about his life, his wife and family. He also mentioned he lived in Tennessee. I remember thinking that I had soul family in Tennessee and remembered the airport dream above in full.

 

 

 

 

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Beautiful Bliss

Did you feel the energy last night?! It was off the charts! Or at least for me it was.

I first started noticing it around 8pm CST. I was settling my children into bed and soothing my youngest who demands I be right next to him until he falls asleep. So, as I lay there with him, sitting up and quite uncomfortable, my heart chakra just bursts wide open and wave upon wave of energy begins to pour through me and out of me. The energy expanded and then I felt my other chakras light up one by one. Root, sacral, solar, throat. The energy never rose above my throat.

This was pure bliss energy. My heart still felt almost painful at times but I didn’t care. Though my root and second chakras were pulsing with energy, I never felt sexual. It was just beautiful, wonderful, heavenly bliss. It made me want to cry tears of joy.

It lasted for over 20 minutes. Hehehehe

Another Wave

After that, it settled and I felt an urge to do yoga. As I was doing yoga, my crown and third-eye lit up with energy and I had what I like to call “raccoon eyes” from the intense energy around my nose and eyes that formed a mask of energy. I don’t know why I connect this mask to the raccoon specifically, but I just think of their little masked faces when I get it. lol

I also had sporadic intense shots of energy through my heart as I was doing yoga. This was most intense in savasana.

When I finished with yoga I felt like I had just had a strong cup of espresso. I was wired! Hatha yoga usually does the opposite for me. I do think it helped my physical body to relax and release areas of tension that may have been blocking the energy. Whatever the cause, I was flying high afterward.

From that point on the energy just kept hitting me in waves of pure bliss. These waves came in intensely and then would settle for a bit, giving me time to recover. I was able to read and function quite normally between them. Sometimes the shots of energy would hit my heart chakra in such a way as to be painful, but it never lasted long and I didn’t much care.

Interestingly, I could feel the energy doing its magic in certain chakras. At one point my sacral plexus felt like a massive ball of warm, tingling, swirly energy. It moved around in a circular pattern and reminded me of water.  My throat chakra was also lighting up in a strange way, moving around like it was alive. Very strange sensations!

After several hours of this intense energy a portion of my upper back, near my right shoulder blade, began to spasm. It was not painful but it was enough to keep me from relaxing and falling asleep. I finally gave up trying to relax at 12:30am and took a Benadryl. Thankfully it helped and I fell asleep about a half hour later.

I was told that my upper back pain was the result of a high heart block that was unable to clear. The pain was an indicator to slow down. My Team told me, “Slow down, your body can only take so much.” I had been requesting the energy to keep coming (who wouldn’t?). I was very enthusiastic about all of it. lol

 

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Luminous Beings

Yesterday proved to be another difficult day for me. Outwardly, I appeared fine and stable, but within I was struggling.

I slept hard and deep again, waking a few times in the night and quickly returning to sleep without incident. At 5:30am I was awakened by a dream that turned lucid very quickly. In it, I was listening to a small child singing a song. She appeared to be about 9 or 10 years old and had a white, luminous light surrounding her. Her words were ultimately what brought me out of my slumber.

She sang, “Hello to you with the pillow over your head, laying in bed.” lol

Awake but in the in-between, the entire night’s adventures were suddenly within my mind – dreams, conversations, and feelings. The dreams are full of symbolism but they are so long that I do not want to go into detail here. Instead I will focus on the important parts.

Train

I was lifted out of one dream scene into another by an unseen guide. We flew high above a green valley surrounded by rusty colored mesas and plateaus. I could see a train meandering along a track that went through the bottom of this valley. I knew this was my destination but I was just along for the ride.

Luminous Beings

I watched as the ground began to move. I could see a ball outlined below the surface. There was also a very high pitched sound that was all around. I can’t connect it to any sound I have ever heard but it was everywhere. It came from within rather than without and was like music but no music I have ever heard.

Then a luminous white orb about the size of a basketball emerged from the soil. I looked away it was so bright. When I looked back there was standing in front of me a small Being, very child-like in stature – the height of a 12 year old child. I could see him despite his brightness – he was extremely bright white with a light blue tinge to the outer areas of this brightness. He was human in shape and I could see his entire body from his head to toes. There were no distinct features other than his eyes, nose and mouth. The rest was just too bright. His face was human-like but more like a human with some kind of chromosome issue most similar to someone with Down’s Syndrome.

Then I saw 4 other orbs appear from the ground behind me. Each one became a small Being just like the first.

Messages

With all these memories came an understanding that I had been somewhere else with these bright Beings. They were so calming and continually sent love to me. It was the most beautiful feeling I have ever felt and I wanted badly to be with them – to leave this life and body and join with them. The entire time I communicated with these Beings my heart was so large inside my chest that it felt like it would burst. At the same time my crown and third eye were also buzzing.

I could feel the Beings around me and recognized them as very special. We conversed but most of their answers came as pure Knowingness. They explained that they are Timeless and have been on Earth since the beginning.

At this time I had a memory of seeing hundreds of luminous orbs rising up out of a vast, dark lake and several Beings inviting me to enter into this metal craft that was hovering a few feet off the ground. They said to me, “Leave your shoes. You wear new ones here.” I chose instead to wear my old shoes inside my new ones.

Several times they mentioned the Anasazi’s. I am not very familiar with this ancient group of people but from what I recall they completely disappeared and no one knows why or where they went. The answer I received was that some left while others stayed. The ones that left shifted into light bodies and ascended. The ones who stayed integrated with the Earth and I saw them underground. I heard, “There are scores of us across the planet. We are here to help. We are re-emerging.”

Of course I wondered why they were here with me. The answer I received was that they were helping me with my heart. This part is hard to describe because it is so intensely personal on so many levels. Even as I write this my heart is pulling.

Another memory surfaced then, one in which I was being presented with these tablets that appeared to have etched into them runes or symbols. Each tablet was perfectly square and each symbol was etched inside it’s own square. The symbols glowed and appeared to enlarge when I looked at them. 

They surrounded me with love and one said to me, “We will help you grieve.” I was hit with such an understanding of this that I began to cry. I was crying not only from the intense love I felt but from numerous other things that I am going through right now. I am being pulled with such intensity toward my group and I am struggling with the feeling. It is constant and was the source of the split feeling I had been feeling. The split feeling is gone and I don’t think it will return but the magnetic pull to leave is still very strong.

Of the many messages I received there was one that I have been getting on my own that they confirmed. This feeling to leave is only going to intensify. Now is not the time to act on it, though, as there are things I must resolve first. When the time comes to act I will Know. I was told, “You must become whole first.” The message about being whole has come to me before. Though I don’t fully understand it, I trust it. I don’t know how long it will take and a part of me is afraid of it happening.

It seems to me that these Beings magnified my heart space in a way that brought great clarity. They confirmed much of what I had been feeling yet at the same time intensified emotions that I have been avoiding. I carry with me a great loss and longing, like a part of me is missing but accessible – just not yet. When I contact the source of these feelings I feel like I am Home. It is similar to the feeling I got from the Beings. I want badly to reunite with them but cannot. No wonder I am so sad. 😦

 

 

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Listen to Your Heart

Listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do.
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

This song was in my head when I woke up this morning. The song was released 1988, the year that came up in my dream. I have not heard this song in longer than I can remember. Yet I heard the music and chorus as I woke.

PUSH

Ever since yesterday I have been seemingly followed by an entourage in Spirit. The energy around me is sky high and I am struggling to stay present in this reality. I manage but it has been difficult, especially at night.

There are so many components to this that it is difficult to explain. I feel as if I am being pushed out of my current life in order to start a new one. It is like I am suppose to want to do this and it is obvious to me that a part of me does. Yet I feel unable to act. I feel very much a struggle between two Me’s. The message is to stay centered in my heart but that seems to be the source of the push and it gets incredibly strong if I stay there too long. And if I don’t stay there my head starts to hurt and I feel split in two and near panic. Then the energy is so intense and my guidance so persistent….I don’t know what to do.

Every day the part of me that is attached to this life is being worn down. I feel her losing her ground and I don’t know if I can stop it.

Intense Desire

On top of the continual push to change I have started to have intense sexual urges arise out of nowhere. I feel about ready to explode with sexual energy to the point that it is starting to come out in my dreams. This is crazy out of the ordinary for me. I feel like I did when I was a teenager in love. Way out of control! Thankfully I am so busy with life that it has not bothered me much. Plus, it is kind of nice. 🙂

Completely Open

As if the push to change and the intense desire is not enough, I am wide open to Spirit communication, especially in the early morning and evening hours. This morning I had to actually put up a bubble of protection around me and ask for all in spirit who were not part of my Team to be blocked. It helped, thankfully, but I have not had to do that in ages.

I had many odd message sneak through this morning. For example, I had a complete conversation with someone wanting to pass on a message to Josh Long. Another one come through unexpectedly who said, “I knew you when you were four years old and a fish”. This came out of the blue and startled me at first. “Fish??” I thought. After I had gotten over the message and stopped taking it literally, I laughed about it. When I was little I was in our swimming pool all day long in the warmer months. I was called a “fish” all the time by my parents and their friends because I was always in the water. Hahaha! I don’t know who it was in Spirit who came through but they brought back good memories for me. 🙂

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Holy Spirit – Heart Bliss

Today I went to visit my mom, step-father, sister and nephew. I usually go once a week but since the Christmas holidays I have not gone in two weeks. I missed it!

An interesting thing happened that I wanted to share with you all. My Mom, who has been a member of the Church of Christ all her life, came up to me and said, “I want to tell you something that you may think is creepy.” I said, “I don’t know if I want to know now.” She continued anyway.

She told me about her morning routine. She said, “Every morning when I wake up I come in here and do some gentle yoga stretches. Then I sit quietly for a while and ask for the Holy Spirit to come into me.” She showed how she stands facing the window and puts both her arms into the air to accept the Holy Spirit.

“Well, it does and it feels amazing! The first time it happened I started crying and it stopped. I find if I cry it always stops. But I was told by a woman at church to not resist it so I began to just ask for it to come into me. And it comes every time I ask”.

I congratulated her on her experience and she went on. “I have to tell you, though, it feels really, really good. Like orgasmic.” She giggled here and was a bit ashamed. I said to her, “Yes, but not sexual.” And she said, “Right” and nodded. I asked her, “Does it come in through here (I touched her back at her heart space) and then spread out all across your body?” She nodded, “Yes!” I asked her, “Does it make you just want to melt into the chair?” She said, “Yes, every time”. I told her, “I have felt that for a long time. I call it heart bliss”. She said, “Well I call it the Holy Spirit”. I said, “Same thing to me.”

My mom was so relieved after this that she began to talk to me about her bible studies and the book of Genesis. She told me she doesn’t like reading Genesis. She said, “It just doesn’t make sense to me. There has to be a whole lot of the story missing. For example, when Cain goes to the land of Nod to get married, how could he do that if Adam and Eve were the first and only people? Yet there is obviously a whole other group of people in the land of Nod. I think there had to have been at least five or six Adam and Eve’s.”

I laughed and said, “You should watch Ancient Aliens.” She gave me a questioning look so I went on. “Some people think that the first humans were brought here from outer space – seeded. Some people think that God did the same on many other planets”.

She didn’t even go there. LOL Instead she went on to how she was reading the book of John at the same time as she was reading Genesis so she was reading one book from each testament. I just laugh at how my mom handles information she is not ready for. She didn’t even skip a beat! LOL

I love my mom and I so very pleased to hear that she is experiencing the heart bliss. She is a total believer of the bible and experiencing the very same heart energy that I and many others have experienced and are still experiencing right now. It just goes to show that no matter your belief system the changes happening on Earth are affecting everyone regardless of their beliefs.

My mom is truly blown away by what she is experiencing. For her, something as wonderful as the heart bliss (Holy Spirit) is a life-changing event. I can’t wait to see if it expands into something more and I know if it does I will be one of the first to know.

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Message: Let Go of All Attachments

E’Fonin is back along with 9 others – my Team and my Council; The Many.

He never really left, of course.

2:30am

I had a dream in which I was fixing what looked like a dishwasher but then it seemed to turn into a very large window. I refused my husband’s help saying, “I can do this on my own”. I woke up.

I was pleased with myself for standing on my own two feet but there was a resistance to what I have been asked to do. I felt my Team present, but at this time had not singled out E’Fonin. I questioned them about what was happening to me – why did I seem to have so much clarity and resolve about my purpose and then fall back into self-doubt and resistance?

With the question my heart chakra pulled intensely and I could not help but be pulled into it. From this standpoint all doubt and resistance was erased. Immediately. The sensation of the heart had been unnoticeable until this point and then it felt like a metal rod of energy was shoved into the center of it. I couldn’t help but gasp for air from the intensity of it.

Message: Let Go of All Attachments

Once I recognized my question had been answered (remain in the heart) my Team proceeded to speak with me about attachments.

We are being asked to let go of all attachments. This is not limited to relationships but includes all earthly attachment from material possessions to attachments to the physical body.

We must drop them. All of them.

When I questioned why, I was shown how attachment = fear. It arises from fear. Fear of loss. Fear of the unknown. Ego-driven fear.

Attachments have been encouraged and reinforced by society.

I argued for attachment, pointing out that attachment to one’s children ensures the child’s safety and survival.

I was quickly shown this was an illusion. Even the attachment, the bond, between mother and child is riddled with fear, the main one being that the mother will lose the child.

People stay in relationships; cling to family, material possessions, people, situations, physical bodies, because of attachment. Attachment causes much suffering, propels us into moral dilemmas and keeps our vibration low. It fastens us to 3D. It is the foundation of karma.

Love is not attachment, yet here I was being shown how deeply entangled the two concepts have become even in my own mind.

Embody Love

In order to embody love we must forgo attachments. This does not mean we do not love, it means that we love enough to recognize the big picture; to step away and see the path of All which ultimately converges back into One.

I asked if it meant we no longer have relationships, specifically romantic ones. I could not see how not to become attached.

It was explained that we habitually fall into Ego which triggers forgetfulness and incites fear. We think, “I love him/her. I want them to stay with me always”. We forget they are with us always and have always been. Instead, we become concerned that they will leave us. We remember past physical lives, we become clouded and then we resist the potential of a timeline without them. This traps us into the karmic cycle. This perpetuates fear. This is not love. It is illusion. It is attachment.

If we remain in the heart we will find that we have always been and always will be connected to those we love and to all the potential for love that exists. There is no loss of this love. Ever.

I then understood what it is to embody love. It is to fully live from the heart.

hinduism-philosophy-god5D is Here, Right Now

5D is here. It always has been. We just have not been able to access it. We couldn’t see it. Our hearts have been closed. Our minds have been fooled. We have been trapped in illusion. I have been trapped in illusion.

My movement into 5D continues rapidly. I am accessing alternate timelines; “jumping” timelines. My DNA is becoming crystalline. I am shifting fully into the heart. Once there, I will be in 5D all the time. But what is crazy is that 3D will still be there. It is like they are superimposed. I saw the Earth as two; one 5D and one 3D. They are superimposed but most of us live in the one that is 3D. I am shifting to the 5D along with many others. Once we are there we will stay permanently. Yet I see that I will still have access to 3D. I asked, “What will happen to me? Will I disappear?” I was told, “Does it matter?”

No More Astral

Believe it or not, I was/am not overwhelmed by any of this. Somehow the conversation shifted into a discussion about my astral travels. Why have I stopped? Why can’t I project?

I was told the astral realms are connected to 3D. They are an extension of the illusion beyond the physical 3D reality. From there you can manifest much faster but it is still limited to the rules and restrictions of 3D. My travels are beyond the astral now. It is hard to explain because as I was shown it, the astral realms extend past Earth in layers, like an onion. Where I am traveling is beyond these layers and outside of them. Another dimension altogether.

I asked if I was ever going to get to project and was told I could as a means of rest, like a vacation, but the astral no longer serves the purpose it once did for me. My travels are inter-dimensional now, though I do not recall them yet. I am told my physical vessel is undergoing adjustments still and to be patient.

I was shown a Venn diagram. I have seen this previously, in 2003. One side is the human consciousness and the other is the subconscious. These two sides will eventually merge completely, becoming one. I can’t imagine how this will manifest, but this is what 5D looks like.

Acceleration is Imminent

I am told the incidences of heart chakra intensity will continue. This is when I recognized E’Fonin because I felt him “turn on” my heart connection. It was similar to flipping a switch. One minute it was a slow, steady warm energy, the next it was like a lightening bolt trigger that sent my heart into another gear and kept it there. When the switch was turned on, a part of my mind shut off. I separate from my earthly attachments. It is strange and a bit uncomfortable but the heart connection is so intense that I do not resist.

My mind wants to convince me that this heart connection is a trap, a device to “control” me. But when the thought comes my heart overrides it with a knowing that this is different. It is similar to the magnetic pull of a compass to true north. The pull is so intensely strong that it can easily be confused for some kind of possession or manipulation by an outside force. In fact, this consideration has come several times. Maybe I am being possessed by Team Dark? Maybe this intense compulsion is some kind of ET control mechanism they are using to manipulate Earth to their will?

When I think this way I hear, “What does your heart tell you?” And I always laugh at the absurdity of all of it.

This heart connection is going to increase beyond measure. It will be my compass. I will live through my heart. I cannot do anything to stop it, either. My path is set. Talk about Ego-trigger. hehe

 

 

 

 

 

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Raging Fire

The Kundalini has returned and this time with a vengeance. She is all fire this time around and not letting me wimp out apparently.

I was instructed to “anchor my energy” last night before bed. I saw what I was to do and so did it. I sat cross legged and put my hands over my heart like Bashar does and then set out anchors all around me – four of them. I was told the energy is only going to intensify and to be ready for it.

I slept well last night but it was during the night that the fire in my heart chakra spread to my lower chakras. Thankfully, I remained asleep through it all but I was lucid enough to know what was going on.

Dream: Raging Fire

It just so happens the main dream of the night had to do with fire. In the dream I was at my Mom’s house in the back yard at the exact point where I saw the UFO when I was 12 years old. There was a man who appeared to be young, maybe 14. He had  dark hair and tan skin and was either wearing a body suit or was completely naked. There was a fire all around us. I don’t recall how the fire was started but I had a part in starting it and me and the man were tending it together.

All was fine until the fire jumped to the top of a tree. I panicked and yelled at the young man to get a water hose. He smiled at me and took what seemed like a very long time to get the hose. Then he just held the hose, water barely dripping from it, and smiled at me. I felt he was taunting me in the dream and got desperate saying, “We have to put it out! We have to put it out now or it will spread!” He just kept smiling and standing there with the hose. I saw the fire spreading across the tree tops and was completely mortified.

The Fire is Alive!

Throughout the above dream and most of the night I had a raging fire in my mid-section. I could feel it moving. It felt alive and the more it moved, the more intense the sensations got. I have many memories intertwined with the fire dream of trying to satiate the energy that was moving inside me. I was not allowed, though, and recall distinctly being told this energy was different and to “leave it alone”.

To describe the energy is almost impossible. It is like burning, raging desire. I was literally squirming in my dream from the intensity of it. It was extremely raw and uncomfortable but at the same time passionate and tender.

Busy Night

When I awakened at 4am my entire lower back hurt around where my kidneys are located. My heart was still active and I had an intense energy mask around my eyes and forehead. Memories of the fire were very strong and it did not take me long to figure out what my dreams were about and what had been taking place during the night.

First off, I had visited the “ship”, the big one, the Seraphim. I recall being in a circular room with brownish-green walls. I could see panels in the walls that interlocked almost seamlessly and knew I had been in this room to be “worked on”. I don’t think anyone was actually present in this small room. It seemed like a chamber of some sort rather than a room actually. I believe the color of the walls was a reflection of whatever healing was taking place – like my current energetic imprint colored the walls.

In another memory I was joining a group of individuals. There were not many, maybe three, and they were huddled together. What is intriguing about this group is that they had no shape. Instead they were pure energy. Their energetic signatures were complementary – purple, aqua, blue. My first thought was, “They make a rainbow of indigo”. So beautiful!

There was one individual who resembled a purple or Indigo flame. He was spectacular and I was intensely drawn to him despite seeing the other two energy beings next to him. I say “Him” because I knew somehow his energy was masculine. My memory stops here, though, and I feel I was “removed” for consult.

Rebirth

When I awoke this morning I had an explanation of the process that I am going through. My Companion keeps telling me, “You are being reborn”. I awoke knowing this to be true. I remembered right away that in my dreams last night I was a child, probably only 7 or 8 years old. I instantly knew this is why my sense of humor has been so good lately. Children are playful and joyful and so have I been this last week despite all the strange changes taking place.

I also know that this process is the rising of the Kundalini and that it is literally burning through my blockages. I have had K energy for a while, so I am use to it, but this is unlike anything I have ever experienced. This is powerful beyond measure. I feel as if my body is being ripped apart from the inside but the “pain” is pleasant and intoxicating.

The reason I am experiencing such high high’s and then hitting exhaustion is because the amount of energy that is pouring into me right now. I can’t sit still for very long and eventually my body can’t take it and exhaustion sets in. This cycles through the day and I feel like a manic-depressive – high, low, high, low. The mania is wonderful. The lows are tolerable.

I am told I can do nothing to stop the process. I can only help it along.

Signs

I know this post is long, but I have to include this just because it is so synchronistic. Yesterday, while visiting my Mom’s, my daughter brought me a snake skin she had found on the ground right next to me. I had been in a daze, trying to somehow channel the intense energies running through me, so did not see it. She put the snake skin on my lap and said, “Look Mom, a snake lost its skin!” I saw it and was impressed but let her drop it on the ground at my feet.

 

 

 

 

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Dream: Two is Better Than One

I’ve been struggling with the shifting energy and my own energy lately. I seem to fluctuate between very high high’s and zombie-dead lows. It is like I have this immense amount of energy pouring through me during the highs. But during the lows I feel exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically.

With these fluctuations comes solar plexus and sacral plexus discomfort. For three days now I am hit mid-afternoon with discomfort. It is not horrible or anything but makes me think I have an intestinal flu. Sometimes I feel like I have been punched in the stomach. This is the solar plexus pain. The sacral plexus pain feels akin to menstrual cramps except at the wrong time of the month.

I am also struggling to sleep and when I do sleep I don’t feel rested. Even so, I wake up extremely alert and with high energy.

Through all this is the continual heart chakra fire that ebbs and flows.

Today, Christmas, has been the most energetically draining day I have had in a very long time. I think the full moon, the current energies and the intense experience I am having combined to create a very unique circumstance for me. I am completely drained.

I am ashamed to say that I am seeking out alcohol more this week than I have in a long time. I am not a drinker. I hate getting drunk. Hate beer. Hate hard liquor even more. But three times now this week I have had a drink….or two. It doesn’t help, I know. There is a little voice saying, “Be a good girl. This will only slow the process”. I roll my eyes and say something not so nice in return and pour myself a drink.

And please all pretend you don’t hear this – the cigarettes keep coming out, too.

I totally don’t give a rat’s a$$ at the moment so when I get my head on straight later you can all remind me of how stupid I was being. K?

Anyway, I was getting to a dream wasn’t I? (No I’ve not had a drink today)

Dream: Two is Better Than One

I was in a church with unfamiliar people who I associated with as “family”. I don’t remember what they looked like. At the time in the dream I was trying to get away; escape them and this suffocating feeling that came with being around them. I found the bathroom and saw two little girls were already in it. They were twins I think but I mostly focused on the one girl. I saw that the toilet was really low, like for a child. I said something to the effect of, “I hope I can get up from such a low seat”.

I turned to the door to check that it was locked and tried to turn off the light. It was a strange knob instead of a switch and when I turned it a loud grumbling ensued. I jumped from the sound and quickly switched it back off. I saw then that I had turned on the heater and I felt a rush of very hot air hit me. I didn’t want the heat on.

Then I turned back to the toilet and sat down but I didn’t use it. The one little girl came up next to me and pulled down two toilet seats from the wall. It was like they had been hidden there. She sat on one and pointed to the toilet seat that was touching the one she was sitting on. I was confused. Why would anyone want to use the toilet that close to another person? I questioned her on this. She said to me, “We do everything together. Two is better than one”. I remember thinking that using the bathroom was a private thing and being very uncomfortable with the thought of sharing it with anyone. Yet I felt comfortable with the little girl as she sat right next to me.

Interpretation

I suspect this dream is about healing. In fact, I know it is. Toilets and bathrooms are all about cleansing and emotion. You can tell a lot from the state of the toilets and bathrooms in your dreams. If clean, this is a good sign as your emotions are not muddled. The dirtier the more muddled or confused. Toilets themselves are about releasing emotions and things in your life that are no longer useful. Flush away the old to make way for the new.

I find the part where I accidentally turned on the heat the most interesting. It not only scared me but I promptly turned it off and didn’t want it on. Heaters in a dream can signify that one is opening themselves up to loving and being loved. Heat equals emotion or the flow of feeling. In some cases this feeling can also be desire.

Finally there is the message and the fact that there are twin girls in the bathroom when I go inside. I understood the message to mean whatever this healing journey is that I am on, I am not suppose to go through it alone. Two is better than one this time.

Silver Lining

I wanted to end with something funny since my sense of humor has been off the charts since all the heart fire began. I just break out into giggles for no reason and even when feeling drained like now I find my humor is high. Thank goodness for silver linings.

Oh and I got a turtle pendant for Christmas from my husband. Just makes this more funny now. 🙂

comic

 

 

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Tough Day

I don’t have time to go into much detail and I’m not sure I could anyway, but today has been probably the toughest day for me ever. I mean it.

I don’t call friends for help. I did twice today. Twice. It helped some, but didn’t really give me any answers. I don’t know what the <expletive> is going on but it is NOT funny.

When the intensity was at its peak I was begging and pleading with my Companion to take it away. He told me to focus on my heart. Yeah, well that made it more intense since it was coming from my heart to begin with.

I did focus there, though, since I couldn’t really do anything else. And the answer I got was, “You need this to Remember”. Okay. Thanks.

My day didn’t start out like this. My heart center has been non-stop with energy for about three days now, but nothing unbearable. I could easily forget about it by keeping busy, which I did all morning. But around 2:30pm, when I was preparing something in the kitchen, it hit full force. It nearly knocked me out of my chair.

I won’t call it a bolt of lightening but it is similar in intensity. I can’t breathe, I can’t think, I can’t really do anything about it. I finished what I was doing and went outside to sit in the sun. The whole time I am asking my Companion to make it stop, to take it away, to fix it, or whatever. Can’t really remember now. It lasted over an hour. That’s when I caved and called out to my friends. Thankfully both were there.

I understand that we are being reUnited with members of our soul group now. I understand that I will be asked to do things that are outside my comfort zone. I get it. But this feels like I am being “summoned”.

I would much rather have my Companion yell “Get out now” like he did the first time.

Please pray for me. Honestly, I don’t know what else to say except that I need help getting through whatever it is that is happening to me. I don’t think healing would help, so hold back on that. I fear it would make the intensity worse.

 

 

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Transmutation of Sexual Desire

It has come to my attention of late that there is an issue I am struggling with. It is specifically related to incarnating in the physical. Apparently this is a common issue among Star-people (Starseeds).

Transmutation of Sexual Desire

As energy-beings (Spirit or whatever you want to call it), those of us newly experiencing life in an Earth body amid limited and overly rigid belief systems, typically struggle to adjust to life on this planet. Though I do not completely feel “new” to this (I have incarnated here previously without much success in overcoming these limitations), there is much memory returning to me in regards to adjustment.

Of the most difficulty for me in this life is understanding and overcoming the limitations of human sexual desire and reproduction. In a nutshell, it is very difficult for me to override intense sexual attraction and desire for the opposite sex. I am currently in the pattern of resisting such physical attractions by simply eliminating them altogether. I have done this out of recognition of how destructive such tendencies can be. Yet these intense feelings are resurfacing and I have been struggling with them once again.

In this case, the feelings are arising for people I have never met in the flesh yet have a strong spiritual connection to. I sense their energy, their spark or signature, and it is familiar to me in a very deep and attractive way. I am struggling because when I sense their energy my physical body responds in its natural way. It perceives the attraction and so responds in kind. Then I, in recognizing this is inappropriate, promptly switch it off.

Yet I am being encouraged to not turn it off but to transmute it and so allow it to fully express itself in me. I recognized this morning that I have been learning how to do this during the night which is why I get teased in my dreams via “sexual” advances and jokes by my friends (not funny!).

It was explained to me that my familiarity and thus reaction to these kindred spirits whom I have never met in person is what is initiating the energy which triggers my physical reaction. The key is to not mentally shut it off but allow it to run its course while effectively controlling the physical components.

I am not sure I know how to do that but mentally I have a block to doing this. I feel I am somehow being untrue to my husband even though I logically know this is not the case.

The desire, I am told, is one I am familiar with and when asked to focus on it, I realized that what I am feeling is indeed something else altogether than what I thought it was. My Companion called it love, but love unlike in the human sense, as humans typically associate love with sex (ie love=sex) because this is how reproduction is accomplished.

Thankfully I am not stressing over this new development (or not so new really). I just need to withdraw my conditioned human response. This is a totally new, wonderful experience I am not allowing myself to have because of something that does not apply!

What It’s Like

How does it feel? The first inklings of the feeling (this is all that I have allowed) are similar to how I have  felt when meeting someone I had a strong attraction to in the physical. However, the feeling hits me in the heart center and this wonderful warmth spreads out that makes me lose my breath and causes me to want to melt into the ground. It is scary in some ways as it makes me feel like I will lose control. This is usually when I promptly put an end to it. I am told this feeling, if allowed to expand, will bring a much more beautiful experience. I have felt this before in this physical body (yes but by accident) and so I know what it feels like. I will say it is indescribable but is along the lines of pure ecstasy.

I do want to experience it again but there is such fear connected to it. I hate that my physical experiences have created this barrier for me. No wonder my friends in spirit think its funny. Sigh.