Category Archives: chakras

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Intensity Hits Home

Though the day started out feeling light it definitely turned intense.

This afternoon while driving to visit my mom I had crown, third eye and heart chakra activity, though muted. I also could not seem to focus and kept freaking out as I drove because I felt all ungrounded like I would fly away. This is common when I drive these days.

When I got to my mom’s I sat down and meditated a while because my heart chakra felt off and I felt physically sick from something, but I didn’t know what. Once I grounded and meditated I felt much better.

Then my step father sat down and said he wanted to talk to me about something. I felt immediately that it would not be a fun talk and knew the source of my unsettled, sick feeling.

He went on a rant about his Christian beliefs and began questioning me about my own beliefs. He was accusatory in tone and kept asking why my husband and I believed we were “equal to God”. He also got into a long speech about how God was in control and was the “one True God” and the “only creator”. He was upset because he knew both my husband and I believed we were capable of creating and wanted to make sure that we understood that anything we created was in fact created by God and not us. He was very angry that anyone would think they were equal to God and kept going on and on about it.

I listen uncomfortably for a while and gave him answers which he promptly turned around on me. I explained that although I was raised Christian, that I no longer believed that I needed Jesus Christ to “save” me, nor did I believe that I needed him to escape some fiery Hell. I ended up recognizing and calmly saying that I was no longer Christian, which surprised me but is in fact truth. This declaration sent him into a story about how no one should take God’s gifts and use them for selfish gain.I finally stopped the conversation and asked him to be respectful of me and my husband’s beliefs and pointed out that I was always respectful of his. The talk ended but I felt a huge weight hit me like a ton of bricks and had to hold back the tears.

That was when my mom told me she had a dream that she, I and my sister were singing together. She asked me to sing with her and her husband. So, after the intense talk I had just had where I realized I was no longer technically a Christian, I ended up singing “Jesus is Coming Soon” (ironic) and “I’ll Fly Away”. I love to sing, so it was nice, but when I think back on it I wonder if maybe my mom was trying to somehow make herself feel better, and me, too, by having us all sing these hymnals.

As I drove home, not a mile from their house, a huge amount of emotion hit me and I began to cry. I realized, though, that it was not upset over the talk and what was said, but over the feelings projected toward me by my step-father. As I allowed the emotion to come, I also recognized my own emotion – grief. I was grieving for them – my mom and her husband. It was clear to me that they didn’t see; that they prefer to be asleep. This saddened me and I felt so discouraged.

The emotion came in waves as I drove home. My higher heart was blazing with energy that almost hurt and I was battling with the discouragement I was feeling. I saw the majority of the world in my mother and her husband. So many people going about life, day in and day out, asleep and unwilling to wake up.

I heard my Companion remind that it’s their choice. I heard him remind me that not everyone will choose to stay asleep. I heard him remind me not to be discouraged or give up.

By the time I got home I felt better. But it is so very overwhelmingly obvious that this planet has a very, very long way to go.

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The Antecedent

I have been holding back writing about something that has been going on because I was still trying to figure out what it was and if it was anything of note. I believe I now have a good understanding of what it is.

Antecedent

For the past several nights I have been seeing colors behind my closed eyes. These are not just blank patches of colors. No. These are colorful objects. I have no idea what I am seeing, though.

The color I first saw was a vivid purple. It was in the shape of two circles, one on top of the other, but there were swirls of different hues of purple inside the circles and I swear I also saw triangles inside.

The next color was blue. A vivid blue. A blue that completely saturated my visual field.

The next color was orange. This time the image was obvious. It was of oranges, a huge pile of them.

Then I saw a vivid red. There was a circular shape with this color, too.

I have a slight memory  of seeing yellow and green as well, but not as vividly nor as long.

These colors came and went in the previous nights always in the same order. Last night I finally asked what was going on.

I saw myself as a shimmering, crystalline energy body. I was nearly white but when I thought “white” I was corrected. No, its silver.

I was told this is what my energy now looks like. I could clearly see my arms. They looked like they were covered in silvery-white, iridescent armor without seams. So beautiful!

I wondered about the lights. I heard, “Antecedent”. This caused me to pause for a moment. I was momentarily confused. Was this the grammatical version of the word or the version which meant, “to come before”?

I knew it was the latter.

Of course I asked,”Antecedent to what?”

I saw in my mind’s eye two different spirals, one silver, the other gold. They intertwined and spun together as if dancing. It very much resembled a metallic braid.

The information came through along with the image. I knew what I was seeing was a soul braid, a term I have only heard recently to describe a type of walk-in experience where another soul “walks in” but the current soul remains and the two share the physical vessel. They are braided together; merged.

It was then as if all the blanks began to fill in. Like someone turned on the lights.

 

What I Know

The colors are a process I have been through before. My chakras are being aligned and attuned. I was seeing and experiencing this attunement in a different way than before. Last time I had a dream of it. This time I am feeling it. The attunement is a preparation for another energy to assume control over the chakras. They must be precisely attuned for this to occur. Not necessarily a higher vibration but a purer one.

With seeing the colors I often get a strange buzzing in my crown chakra. This last time, last night, I felt as if I was being pushed OOB. I felt myself shifting to the right as if being pushed gently from the left. This startled me and I resisted. So I did not leave my body.

The information that came to me was that in May this year, when I had that profound experience where I felt to be two people in one body, was in fact that. The other remained, remains to this day. I was told not long after that that we were merged. This essentially means the soul braid is complete. Presently, another step is about to be taken. I am being asked to “step back” and allow this other me to come forward and “take the reins” again.

Oddly, I am not freaked out by this. The experience I had in May was so sublime, so beautifully spectacular in every imaginable way that there is no way I am going to say no to another opportunity to experience something like it again! However, I am told this time it will be “different”. How, I am not sure.

I am told that this other part wants to experience this life for a time and that he/she wants to “teach me some things” and will do so when this “transfer” occurs (now I know why I said a “transfer” the other morning!). I felt from this communication that there is a great opportunity to learn on both our parts by participating in the transfer.

When asked when this will occur, the other me just said, “Whenever you decide to let go”. Which, of course, means I must be willing to give up the pilot’s seat. Considering I did it before, I don’t think it will be an issue. However, I am reminded that last time I never actually gave up control, I just shared it. Can I actually give it up? What would that be like? Hmm

Walk-In/Soul Braid

The third-eye and accompanying heart chakra activity I have been experiencing on a near constant basis is evidence of the successful soul braid. I know that now.

I honestly can’t believe this is happening to me. I was led to the idea of walk-in months ago (prior to May) but it never quite made sense to me. Why would I be told walk-in when it is evident that I am STILL here? Yet I did experience something profound and have since been so much more connected than I have ever been with my guide/HS/companion traveler (not really sure what to call him now!).

It now makes so much sense to me! The other soul walked-in in May and initiated the merge/braid at that time. The connection or braid was made official not long after when I was told “the merging is complete”.

I feel honored to be in this situation. I cannot explain it nor can I describe the deep connection, the love and devotion that I have for my Companion (that is what he wishes to be called – so be it). Call me crazy or whatever but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

 

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Heart Chakra Intensity and Swoosh!

I’ve had some energetic activity today which has been interesting. It began this afternoon on the way home from the gym at around 11:20am. I was singing a song and it vibrated intensely inside my chest, specifically right about my heart chakra. I was fascinated with this feeling. Had I felt it before when singing? If so, why was it so obvious now? I sang different pitches to test the sensitivity. The deeper notes felt the best. The vibrations felt lovely, too. Is this why I have always loved singing so much?

Around 1pm while at the park with my children I became very calm and peaceful. I kept noticing nature and feeling I should enjoy it. So I did. What was interesting is that my attention kept being drawn to individual leaves as they fell down towards the earth. I noted how different each of them was in the way they fell – their shape and movement. Some fell quickly in a mad dash for the ground. Others flitted and seemed to change their mind, flying upward toward the sky before finally settling to the ground. Again, I was fascinated by their dance. I could almost hear the Nutcracker playing in the background. hehe

Around this time I began to feel third-eye and heart chakra activity. We went for a walk like we always do after a visit to the playground. While walking my chest began to feel odd. There was a pulling energy in the same area where I had felt the vibrations previously, but this almost hurt. It did not last long, thankfully.

While going about the rest of my day I have felt as if I was being “watched” by a very large energy and had intermittent crown chakra sensations. I could not enjoy them because my children kept interrupting, so I don’t know much more than the feeling that accompanied them. It was a familiar feeling, one that in the past would have made me nervous. But this time there was no nervousness, just acceptance.

I decided to do yoga for the hips, back and legs. This is night three this week of yoga for me. I keep feeling drawn to do it, so I have been. This particular video was new and quite challenging for me since those areas are very stiff. I was completely immersed in the stretches and then when in savasana things changed.

The voice on the video requested I focus on the upper area of my heart (this was unexpected). So I did but when I did I felt uneasy, almost faint, and so would shift my focus to my third-eye and then redirect. The feeling kept returning along with a very strong presence to my left. It was really, really close and really, really BIG. I kept thinking, “I am going to pass out” but kept doing what the man was telling me to do. Focus on the upper heart area. Relax. Try not to think. Etc. The entire time this area of my heart felt very weird and caused me to feel as if I would pass out.

As the video was ending I was so deeply relaxed that I began to feel like I was sinking into the floor. I kept hearing noises that I think were on the video but I’m not sure. It just felt so wonderful.

All along there remained the huge presence to my left.

The next thing I know my body is being pounded by wave after wave of energy. Swoosh! Swoosh! Swoosh!

I knew I had entered the trance state and my mind was alerted instantly causing my heart to speed up a bit. But the energy kept pouring over me. It was an all-over intense energy, that came in waves that swept over me each more intense than the last. It was not the energy blanket like I would normally feel in this state. It was superb!

Sadly, my middle son came into the room and asked me why I was sleeping on the floor. Energy slowed but I continued to feel as if I had become one with the floor. Wonderful!

I don’t think I would have gone OOB but I felt like if I had passed out I would have left my body. What was so strange is that I felt drugged, as if I were being lulled into this state. Perhaps that was what the BIG presence was doing?

I am also fascinated by the upper chakra activity from today. First the vibrations from singing, then the strange ache and finally it causing me to feel faint. Weird! I am intrigued!

The BIG presence is Them. You know who, etc, etc. They’re baaaackk. lol

 

 

 

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Manifestations of the Shift: Update

I have had a strange feeling this entire week. I do not know how to describe it other than to say I feel like something is coming, like on the verge.

I wanted to update you all on what I have been experiencing energetically and physically.

  • Almost constant third-eye activity, sometime intense
  • Heart chakra activity brought on at will with just a thought or intention
  • Second chakra activity – warm, buzzing, pleasant feeling
  • Strong connection with guide/HS, constant
  • HS connection accompanied by intense third-eye/heart/second chakra buzzing and warm energy that spreads from heart outward (wonderful)
  • Communication from HS integrating with everyday thoughts, as if streaming in continually and bringing a strong knowing unlike before
  • Energetic healing on all levels occurring day and night
  • Alignment between heart and mind on-going
  • Faint/dizzy feeling coming on without notice; tends to accompany a semi-trance state that I go into without recognizing I am
  • Tendency to hold my breath when receiving communication from Team (could be bringing on dizzy spells).

Overall I feel like my day and nights are merging; as if I am now living in a state that once I only experienced at night. In other words, I feel to be in the in-between, or very close, all the time. This sometimes leaves me feeling unreal or dream-like, but even this feeling is diminishing.

The constancy of the energy in my third-eye and heart is becoming a new norm for me. I have never experienced such strong sensations in either chakra all day every day like this ever. It comes with a feeling that this is how it is suppose to be, how we humans are meant to feel – energetically connected all.the.time.

I won’t say it is a blissful feeling, but it a comforting one. A constant reminder that I am not this body but a spiritual being and that I am not alone. I am never alone but joined with a larger part of myself at all times. In this I feel more whole and accepting of things. I experience being both the Experiencer and the observer at the same time.

 

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Dreams and Symbols

Yesterday I was visited by a familiar friend as I attempted to zone out while watching television. I heard, “Remember you are not this body. This is all an illusion”. When I heard this, I looked up at my living area and at my son who was sleeping silently nearby. My vision clarified and seemed to shimmer subtly and I felt very strange, as if I could leave the scene at any moment. Of course, I didn’t, but my attention had been diverted where intended. It was a reminder to not get caught up in this illusion.

Later, towards evening, I saw a symbol in my mind. It kept repeating and I was unsure what it meant exactly. However, it triggered a memory of the in-between and I knew I had seen the symbol along with others. The symbol resembled the fermata which is used in music to indicate that a particular note be held. Yet when I saw it I thought it looked like an eye.

As I slept, I had various odd dreams and the symbol reappeared.

Dream: Flooded Clean Bathroom

In this dream I recall only that I went inside my old bathroom at my Mom’s house. When I went inside it was obvious that a great flood of water had gone through. There was debris – leaves, twigs, dirt – piled up against the door and in other areas. The bathtub, toilet and floor was all spotlessly clean. I remarked that I had never seen it so clean in my life and began to clean up the debris.

horusDream: Painting an Eye

In another dream I was with a woman who was preparing to paint. She told me she needed an eyeball and opened up a cabinet to reveal piles of eyeballs. They appeared to be the real deal and I asked her about them. She said,”I need the real thing for this”.

She selected an eyeball and began to paint onto it an iris and pupil in 3D. When she was done, though, the painting was in 2D and very unrealistic, mostly in black and white. I remember when I saw it the symbol I saw prior to bed. I wondered what it meant and where I’d seen it.

Symbol

I researched the symbol, first looking at ancient hieroglyphs and other writing, but I could not find it. It was then that I realized I had seen it in music and sure enough I found the fermata was exactly what I had been seeing.

I did find that the symbol I saw, when inverted, was part of the Phoenician writing, the dot representing a star or planet and the crescent representing the moon. The sign was also part of US Hobo signs and meant “Cops active”. The inverted version is part of the Aum symbol and represents a state of transcendental consciousness. Finally, the same symbol I saw is part of the Mayan hieroglyphic system meaning the new or waning moon together with Venus.

I can’t help but wonder why I keep seeing this symbol. I believe it is linked to the symbols I have been seeing prior to bed when I meditate. I see two triangles, one above me and one below, pointed toward one another. I then feel that I should put my hands above my heart in a diamond shape. When I do this, the two triangles intersect and begin to rotate. At the same time my heart chakra pulls considerably, almost painfully. I believe that this is a method of intense clearing and also linked my third-eye with my heart as my third-eye typically activates as well.

My dreams seem to go along with this clearing, especially the bathroom one. Such a positive dream indicating that much clearing out of negativity and “waste” has been done. The eye appears to be linked to the eye of Horus, though I am not sure the significance here.

 

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Group Karma and a Kundalini Surge

Last night was an intense one. I woke several times from a dream that just kept going. The dream isn’t what is important, though, as it was just symbolic of what was transpiring through the night. What is important is what I brought back from it.

Group Karma

The first time I awoke from the dream I was confused and it took me a while to realize I had been dreaming. In the dream I was convinced that my life had turned out differently. In that life I had made choices in my childhood; acted on impulses that resulted in me murdering another child and then covering it up. My siblings were in on it, specifically my older sister who then  committed a similar crime when she was much older.

Once I realized it was only a dream I knew that I was discussing group karma. I knew that my siblings and I had done something in previous lives that we were “fixing” and we were doing it together.

I fell back to sleep and dreamed of a trial. We had been caught and we were being sentenced. I got only 7 years as my sentence but my sister got much longer. She had known what she was doing; had intentionally done it and planned to do it. Me, on the other hand, had acted impulsively without consideration for the consequences. I remember feeling sad for my sister because she would have to do more time than me.

I woke again understanding that my time was meant to be served in conjunction with hers, which is why we incarnated as siblings in this life. The specifics of it are not known but the feeling I had confirmed I was right.

When I fell back to sleep, the dream continued but this time the person I was doing time with was my husband. When I awoke from this part of the dream I recognized our contract/agreement was meant to balance karmic debt. It felt like he was my sibling in a previous life. What is interesting is that it felt like the previous life was one not on Earth or if it was on Earth it was hundreds of thousands of years ago.

Metallic Box

While in the in-between sometime after the first waking, I witnessed a small metallic box floating in from of me. It appeared to have a white, cotton-like substance bursting from it and looked almost like a sandwich with metallic layers. I saw strange symbols and writing on it. I remember saying a name that sound like Metroika but I don’t believe this is correct. I know for sure I saw a capital “M” very pronounce in the center of the silver box and there was also a “T” in the middle of the name. As my awareness peaked I saw the cotton substance form into angel wings on either side of the box and knew the message was from a Being that would have been labeled as an angel or archangel. Metatron was the name that came to mind.

Kundalini Surge

In the early morning hours I experienced an odd Kundalini surge. In a dream I met with a man who I remember was the owner of a restaurant. He had given free meals to two of my friends but had not given me one. I was irritate by this and questioned him about it. He then took me with him on a walk and I remember knowing he was 40 years old. I was pleased that I was younger than him. I recall feeling that the years of life from 40 to 50 were significant for me but I did not know why.

At some point this man and I kissed but it was not normal. It was like we merged into each other. Where we touched felt huge, like a bubble of energy forming. My mouth felt very strange, like I was blowing a bubble that expanded to include all of my head except for the crown. My root and second chakra also had this bubble-like energy and I could feel them blowing up with energy. My crown chakra oscillated with energy but mostly it felt to be shooting energy straight up.

I could feel this man physically and when I touched him the energy increased. I know that I wanted the energy to move and was demanding it to do so, but this must not have been the right time because the more I willed the energy to rise, the more it went out rather than up.

When I finally came to full awareness my lower body felt warm and tingly and HUGE. I felt the energy of the man who was in my dream. It came from above me to my left and felt huge as well. I could feel the residual energy still lingering and my crown was still active.

Message

Prior to heading to bed I suddenly received communication from a guide/Being whom I had not met before. His energy was big but not imposing. He said to me, “You are not alone”. I responded with, “I know”, but I received back from him that the meaning of this particular message was that I was going to be contacted by others whom I do not normally communicate with.

I accepted the message and went on with my day but right before bed I was again met with the energy and the message repeated. This time I saw in my mind a visual of me recording myself channeling information. I don’t recall the message word-for-word now but I was being asked to channel information from these Beings.

I also remembered suddenly my encounter in 1989. I remember very little from that night but what I do remember was seeing a UFO up close and personal. I wondered about why it was that only I saw it? I wondered what happened during the time my memory is unclear? I heard then, “We chose you because you can see”. I asked then to remember whatever was lost, if it was significant. I have yet to remember but I hope I do.

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Message from Robert: Data Transfer and Current Task

Again I awoke at 5:30am to a message from my guide. This time it was not E’Fonin but Robert.

Data Transfer

I received yet again data in the form of very fast moving symbols. This time, they did not come from above but rather from the left and moved across very quickly to the right. It was like they were being streamed to me and they came in lines, not dissimilar to stanzas of music except that there were four lines instead of five. The stanzas were golden and shimmered. The symbols I could not isolate or differentiate but occasionally a word or two would appear above the lines of code as if to communicate the main topic being relayed.

As I received the information I understood what it was that I was being asked to do. The words I saw triggered this knowingness. I don’t remember them now, though. All I recall is that the task at hand had to do with detaching from anchor points that I had established in this life. These “anchor points” are what connects me to certain energies in this world. These energies can be people, places and things, but usually they are much more diverse than just a single space or person in a lifetime.

It was explained to me that the particular anchor points I need to detach from are connected to my mother and the home I lived in from 1986 to 1996. The home is not the original anchor point, my mother is, but since she resides there even now, the home has also been associated. This is why many of my OBEs originate in this location.

So I have work to do and this was acknowledged without hesitation. I do not consciously know of any specific issues I need to resolve with my mother and so questioned Robert on this. His response was to show me.

I saw in front of me a fabric satchel, brown in color. I picked it up and it was so heavy it pulled me down. I said, “It’s heavy!” and Robert said, “Yes”. I then understood that this satchel represented all the weight that was carried by me pertaining to my mother and the location where she currently lives.

It was explained that this weight “holds me down” energetically. It was understood that this weight is the weight of karma needing to be released. It was also understood that it was primarily her karma that needed releasing, not mine. Yet, I also had some to release but it was shown to me that it had to do with my deep connection to my mother, an empathic connection which caused me to shoulder my mother’s karmic debt. It is not easy to relate what I was told but in essence it means that I took on responsibility for her karma – to help her.

It was relayed to me that it is very important that I handle this soon, while she is still alive. I asked how, but was not told how. Instead I was told that it would be made known when the time was right. There was an understanding that some of it would be done in another dimension and/or during dream time.

Roles of the Various Guides/Assistants

I asked where E’Fonin was and I was told, “It is time to work in the physical now”. I had been told this before but this time its meaning clicked.

Robert and other guides/assistants like him come to work with Earth travelers like myself to help them with karmic debt and physical incarnation lessons/goals/purpose. Energetically, they are more suited to work with denser energies of this realm. When Robert told me, “It is time to work in the physical” he meant that it is time to resolve physical realm lessons and meet goals previously set to be accomplished via physical form.

E’Fonin and others like him are tasked with our spiritual evolution. They are primarily concerned with raising our vibration so that we can move on from our current, lower energetic state. It is like they are giving us an evolutionary nudge, or in this case “jump”. Therefore, E’Fonin and others like him come only when a spiritual adjustment is being made (chakras, energy attunement and balancing, multidimensional work, Higher Self infusion, etc).

My Current Physical World Task

I am told, “It is time to tie up loose ends so that you can move forward”. In this message I see an unburdening of the Self, kind of like throwing off of heavy clothing except that it it is the actual dissolution of denser energy patterns which we all carry with us. These energy patterns are intricately linked to various other energy patterns of those who we develop strong emotional bonds with over many lifetimes. Sometimes these bonds get so knotted together that we lose sight of our own energy patterns (lessons/karma) and get caught up in those of others. This results in us working to untangle our energy from theirs.

To most, this will seem to dissolve emotional bonds we have with those we love the most. Yet it is not a complete dissolution but rather a cleansing or freeing up of energy so that we can better assist them and ourselves. How can one move freely in life toward their set intentions if they are dragging along the energy of others?

If you can imagine having a large weight chained to your ankle and then multiple that by ten or twenty you would come close to the amount of dense energy we are caught up in. And what’s worse is that we desperately hold onto this “weight”, willing to drag it along with us, because we believe it IS us.

earthValidation

I am currently reading Dolores Cannon’s Convoluted Universe Book 2. As I read it, I am getting validation of visions and information I previously was given.

In Chapter 9, which I read last night, Ms. Cannon takes an individual to a past life in which they and their group were rescued from an Earth cataclysm by Beings from space. The individual relates how once on board the ship they could see what was happening to Earth. What she described was what I saw in a recent vision – a vision of Earth as a ball of fire and smoke, churning much like the surface of the sun.

When I read this I held my breath and started to cry. I knew that had I read this book last year that I would not have believed it. I would have thought it all fanciful ideas that had no relevancy to me or my life. Yet now, I read it and I understand. It is happening again and I am here to assist with the preparation.

I cried because I knew it was true but also because I know it will be much more than just Earth changes. There will be war and devastation. I cried because I love Earth and humanity and I do not want to lose hope that they can be saved. But I know this is to be. It is part of the Divine Plan.

As I have been reading more of the book, I am becoming more and more accepting of what I have been told. I was doubting it, but that doubt is erasing. There is something huge coming, something unlike anything humanity has ever experienced (this line of humanity anyway). My entire Being contracts in thinking about it. There is a deep, inner pain that comes with it and I do not like it nor do I want to acknowledge it. But the more I acknowledge it, the more I am freed from it and can get to work.

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More Manifestations of the Shift

I figured it is time for a quick update on current manifestations of ascension. Below are what I have noticed:

  • Hot Flashes
  • Sweating
  • Mild Cold – sore throat, chest congestion
  • Third-eye activity – pretty much non-stop
  • Crown chakra activity – on and off, usually in conjunction with third-eye
  • Second chakra buzzing
  • Intense heavy feeling in legs/feet (stopped prior to onset of cold)
  • Visual anomalies – seeing shadows or silhouettes of people out of corner of my eye
  • Dry eyes (stopped after onset of cold)
  • Dizzy spells
  • Intense hunger (ongoing)
  • Intense thirst
  • Ear ringing
  • Pressure in ears
  • Ear ache that comes and goes (infrequent)
  • Heart chakra activity
  • Recognition of pieces/aspects of me returning to this body
  • Sudden surges of energy (usually in the in-between)
  • Time hiccups – lost time, time moving fast or very slow
  • Disconnect with this life; feeling alien to this world
  • Intense emotional outbursts and sadness as if losing someone dear to me
  • Periods of irritability and not wanting to be around or near others’ energy

I’ve been sick with a cold. It came on a couple of days ago along with some hot flash-type activity and an intense hunger. I am told this is because I am cleansing and re-balancing my energy. I was told the cold is a result of the imbalance of energy caused primarily from the ingestion of meat over a period of about a week. Part of me thinks this is “crazy” but I cannot ignore the fact that all the feelings of negativity and disconnect came during this period of time.

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A Voice and a Lesson

This has been an interesting day. It has really been pretty boring and mundane all in all…….except that I have had communication from my Team or someone from my Team most of the day. Along with this communication has come learning and information that was unexpected.

Lesson: Management of Thought

The day seems to have been an entire lesson on the workings of the human mind, or at least my human mind anyway.

It all began when a little voice interrupted my doubtful or negative thoughts. I recall the exact moment when I first recognized I was being spoken to. I had considered just selling all of my sewing kits and then throwing in the towel. “It’s too much work” was the last thing I thought.

The voice said, “Follow it through. Remember your intention (memory triggered) and go there. Persistence. Be the moment”.

Silence followed as I absorbed what I was told and recalled the image in my mind from the exact moment when I had the idea to start my business. This “image” was important. I needed to continually refer to that memory and then let it be the last thing I think about, tossing out all doubts and disappointments.

There was more. I was told to push past the pitfalls. Nothing is accomplished without a little elbow grease. Greatness is achieved not by those who know all but by those who seek to know what they do not.

I was reminded of Abraham Lincoln specifically. Try, try, try again. Build upon the knowledge you gain. Push past the failures. Ride over the bumps.

Throughout the day, I kept wanting to go back to the dismal thinking, the “woe-is-me” attitude. I honestly don’t know why I kept doing this. I was told it was because I thought it was what I was suppose to do. Interesting.

This continued on and off all day. The more it happened, the less I fell into the depressing, defeatist views and the more I focused on the moment.

When I noticed my mind was clearing, I heard the voice again. “Imagine complete clarity”. He let it settle in. It was hard to imagine but I think I got the gist of it. He continued saying, “That is how you will be”.

Now that I have time to reflect on today, I recognize that I was being taught about how my mind works and how to control it. I was being shown how to manifest by focusing back on my original intent rather than allowing myself to go off the path into doubt and fear. In the moments when I was being spoken to, I felt as both the experiencer and the observer at the same time. Very similar to some of my OBEs.

The Voice

There was always a feeling that accompanied this voice. The feeling was similar to how a student feels when their teacher is asking them questions in front of the class or teaching them something one-on-one. But it was not a feeling of subservience or of being any less than the teacher. It was more of a reverence; an understanding that I was hearing wisdom and needed to absorb as much of it as I could.

When I asked who the voice was, I got a very complicated name that I have lost now. It was definitely not a name I have ever heard in this life. What is funny is that as soon as I heard it I said, “Oh yeah. I’ll never get that one”. I knew it was pointless to even try to remember it. So I didn’t.

Regardless of who this voice belongs to, I know he is male and I know that he is one of my mentors. The sense I got was that he has come ahead of something else – as if he is preparing me for something that is to come. The closest thing to the feeling I got with him around me was from this past May. I have been asking for that to return. Perhaps something like it is coming?

And he is still here, though currently much more silent. His arrival was preceded by strong crown chakra this morning. This is also similar to how things began in May.

by

667 Days to Home

Today is my last day of work. I took a half of it off because I have days to burn. I was also hoping to get more sleep. I did, but not as much as I would have liked.

I have mixed feelings about leaving work despite knowing it is the right choice for now. I will miss some of my students and those coworkers whom I developed good working relationships with. One coworker sent me an email thanking me for helping her son and asking for me to let her know if I ever go into private practice. It is her son that I am saddest to leave. He is sad, too. He cried when I told him I was leaving. 😦

It’s wonderful to feel I have made an impact in someone’s life, even if only a small one.

Gaping Hole

I don’t know if it is just me leaving work that is causing this, but I feel a gaping hole in my life. I think it has always been there but now it seems bigger. There is nothing there. It is just empty and the emptiness of it is what bothers me the most. The bigger it gets, the more empty I feel inside.

I have tried to fill it with things – activities, movement, mental tasks – but when all is done it is still there. I go within and find it there and it is not scary but I don’t know what to do with it. Do I fill it? Do I leave it alone? What is it anyway?

My guide told me this morning, “Why don’t you just rest? It is okay to take a break”. Perhaps, but I am such a busy-body, so use to keeping myself and my mind occupied, that taking a break is not all that easy for me.

For example, I awoke at 5am this morning and immediately my mind began to fill with thoughts of things I needed to do. I even got confused on what day it was, thinking it was Friday and then Wednesday and finally getting to the fact that it is Monday. There are so many lists of things I have to do – exit paperwork for work, promoting my new business, resolving a return of a large product I ordered, a parent-teacher conference, and so on and so forth. All these things flooded my mind and I panicked when I accidentally thought it was Friday.

It’s actually kinda funny. 🙂

667 Days

Out of control thoughts, even if they appear productive, can bring a person down really fast. I reacted by begging my guides to help me return to sleep and asking when I would return Home.

Surprisingly, I got an answer the to second question immediately: 667 days. Really?

Of course, I immediately thought there is now way that could be accurate. Why would my guides reveal something like that? Maybe because they know I will forget it. I forget so easily.

667 days is just under 2 years from now. “Home” I believe is not me leaving this physical body via death. I believe it is reestablishing a connection with the part of me that is Home, is always Home. It is a feeling not a destination.

Mind-Heart Connection

It is clear to me that I have established a link between my mind and my heart. It is undeniable to me now. Every night I feel it as I relax and prepare for sleep. My third eye lights up like a beacon and my heart follows. It is like clockwork.

I feel it throughout the day, too, but mostly it is my third-eye that is blazing throughout the day. It is doing so now and any time I check for it, it is there as a reminder that I am always connected. Sometimes it blazes so intensely while I am doing mundane things that I cannot help but stop what I am doing and notice. It is like I am being asked to take notice of the moment. To not get lost in all the “things” I have to do throughout the day.

My crown chakra is also buzzing, but it is less in comparison to the huge pulling sensation in my third-eye. The energy helmet is becoming so familiar to me that it goes unnoticed until the energy in my crown reaches similar proportions to that of my third-eye.

Honestly it feels like my head is a beacon of light.

20%

In one of my intense, third-eye energy moments I got a vision along with a message. It was a timeline, or at least that is how it appeared to me. I could see that most of the line was colored in in green. It reminded me of the download screens one gets when downloading something from the internet. Towards the end of the green line there was written “20%”.

As soon as I saw it I got the message that I only have 20% left to go. I did not feel encouraged. Who knows how long it will take to download that 20%. My connection often gets interrupted. 6 minutes can take an hour.