Category Archives: Dreams

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Hold On

Yesterday I went to get my hair cut. I wanted to cut it all off again, like I did in 2014, but my daughter talked me out of it. While I was getting my hair cut, a song came on the radio station they were playing in the salon. Right as it came on I heard my guidance say, “Pay attention to the song.” So I did and smiled when I recognized the song. It was a song I use to listen to my senior year in high school. The song was Hold On, by Wilson Philips.

The song happened to be one that I was listening to around the time when I was having conversations with myself about my future. I was feeling isolated and alone and finally prayed to God to send me someone to love. Though I was not aware of having guides at that time, I did receive answers. I thought I was talking to myself and left it at that. My answer at the time was that it would be a very long time before I would meet “the One”. It wouldn’t be until my 30’s (to a 17 year old this is a looooong time). I remember crying about waiting so long and that is when I prayed to find someone sooner.

At the time, the song Hold On, was not in the forefront of my mind. I didn’t look for signs or synchronicities at that time. I didn’t even know what a synchronicity was then. But when I came home from the salon and read the lyrics to the song my heart flipped-flopped in my chest. I laughed at my Team thinking,”Oh wow. Are you kidding me?”

Dream: The Little Engine that Could

It was a sunny and warm day. The sun was bright overhead and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. I waited near a railroad track with others of my own age group. We were all probably 10-12 years old. One member of my group laid down on the track. I remember thinking it looked comfy. I warned him that the train would run over him if he stayed there. Then we heard the whistle of the train, he got up and we boarded it. The train was only the engine part, though. There were not any train cars attached to it. It was one of those steam engines and reminded me of the story The Little Engine that Could.

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Dream: Going to Prison

From the train dream I shifted into another dream where I was entering into an enclosure with a handful of other women. It was a low security prison with low fences and appeared more like a home than an institution.

We went through processing where we were each given blue shirts and pants. Then we met our prison guards, both women, and were taken into our living quarters where we were shown the kitchen. It was explained that because we were in the 4-5 group that we would have our food prepared for us each day. Once we got into the upper level groups we would have to prepare our own food.

After some time passed I received news that my sister from Alaska had requested a transfer to my prison. I was excited and shared the news with everyone but the guards were suspicious. When I met her, she looked just like me.

My sister seemed to disappear from the dream at that point and then I was learning that the guards who normally watched my group would be gone. As we waited for a breakfast of pancakes, my attention went to the back fence. In the distance I saw a beautiful white peacock flying down from the sky, its wings and tail spread. As I watched, it crossed over the prison fence and landed. When it landed it morphed into a woman wearing a jacket and a skirt that resembled a folded up peacock tail. The skirt was not white, though, it was tan.

The woman approached me and I saw her clearly. She had blonde hair but her hair was long on one side and super short on the other. In her hand she held a handgun. One guard saw her and alerted the other guard but the peacock women seemed almost to have magical abilities because she instantly immobilized the guard that came toward her. The male guard in the tower shouted something at her but did not advance.

Then the woman spoke to me. I don’t recall all the words spoken but I do recall seeing in front of me images representing our conversation. In the image was a young man with dark hair who I identified as my friend/boyfriend. He was standing a short distance away and seemed to be glowing in yellow light. The information passed on to me was that he would be away for three days. I kept thinking he was in Alaska but in the discussion I mentioned that his time zone was a hour ahead of mine and so the time for him would pass faster. I saw the time as 11:00 and knew he was ahead of me. I kept focusing on the three days and it seemed like an eternity to me. The woman said to me, “Just hold on for one more day.” Hearing this peaked my lucidity and I became emotional. I began to cry and woke up in tears.

I was able to recover from my upset fairly quickly. The song Hold On was going through my mind.

Interpretation

The first dream is giving encouragement, saying, “You can do this” via the story of the Little Engine that Could.

The second dream represents how I am feeling: Imprisoned in my life situation. It is a low security prison, which to me symbolizes that I am not feeling overly restricted. The sister from Alaska is representative of the me from that time in my life. That time in my life was similar to this time in many ways. The peacock symbolizes Spring, birth, new growth, longevity and love. The peacock turns into a woman. Her hair stands out to me here and I see her as being representative of an integrated or Whole version of myself. She is carrying a gun and helping me to break out of the prison. Her message is a significant one – one of hope and perseverance.

 

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Dreams

It’s been a very active week for dreams. Most are from one night and I awoke feeling very positive. The last one is from this morning and I woke feeling very pessimistic, probably because I woke up like every 2 hours throughout the night and didn’t sleep very well.

Dream 11-8-16: Preparing for Dinner 

I was with my family (soul family) at a beautiful retreat with rolling hills and a crystal clear creek running through the middle. We were preparing to meet for dinner. I recall that part of this preparation was to clean the grounds, meaning get any debris cleared away. I was scanning the area and saw a clump of leaves caught up in a bush. I cleared them away. There was quite a bit of time spent at this point looking for leaves.

Then, I went toward the main house which I never saw in the dream. I remember walking through the crystal clear, cool water. It was up to my waist and quite refreshing and enjoyable. There was interaction with others at this time but I cannot recall anyone except my dog Trooper, who was jumping and frolicking in the water and running up and down the hill barking. I remember shooing him away a few times because he was doing what he did as a puppy and nipping at my ankles. At one point he swam in the water with me. He loved to swim.

The next thing I knew I was inside the house with a few others. The main one I remember interacting with was a woman who I thought of as a mother figure. There was also a man who stood behind me the whole time I was there. The woman showed me a tray with five Cornish game hens all prepped for cooking. In recalling how they looked, they were super tiny and already appeared cooked. I remember doing the math and reminding her that she was short one, referring to my child. She told me that he could share with me. As she put them into the oven I saw the time was 2pm and asked her how long it would take to cook them. She said, “Just about an hour.” I realized this meant they would be done at 3pm and way too early. I said, “But then they will be ready too soon. Dinner is at 5.” She didn’t seem to care, though.

When I woke up from this dream it was 4am and I felt rested and wide awake. I actually felt very calm and happy.

Dream 11-8-16: Fishing Down Under 

I traveled to an island which we referred to as “Australia” but I recognized right away that it was symbolic of the subconscious mind. Me and two companions, a man and woman, traveled out on the ocean in a very small, fragile boat. The man and woman had fishing rods and were casting their lines into the ocean. I watched and did not fish. There was fear here of accidentally catching something too big and then not knowing how to handle that without sinking the boat.

The woman’s line went taunt and I grabbed it to help guide in the fish. I saw beneath the ocean the silhouette of a killer whale and held my breath. How was she going to get him on the tiny boat? We would surely sink!

Then the man was helping me guide the huge whale onto the beach. We must have successfully reeled it in. The woman was gone. The killer whale did not look like a killer whale, though. Instead he was brown and it appeared as if his lungs had been pulled from the inside out to where his face would have been. It was grotesque. We decided to throw it back before it died. My main feeling here was, “Now that we’ve got it, what do we do with it??”

Dream 11-8-16: Our Song 

I spent the entirety of this dream with a dark haired man who I was very in love with. I never left his side. We stayed close and enjoyed one another’s company like two love birds. There was a special song I was singing to him throughout the dream. I can’t remember it now, but in the dream I was playing a game with him using the song. The game was that when I sang the song we got to show each other how much we loved each other. The main issue here was that when I would sing the song and we would get close, my daughter would interrupt and we would have to stop. It wasn’t annoying and we laughed about it, but it happened throughout the dream more times than I could count. We never got to show each other how much we loved each other because of her interruptions.

Dream 11-9-16: Match

I was invited to participate in a match game. Similar to the Bachelor except that both men and women were choosing partners. When I got there people were already paired off and I had no one. This didn’t bother me much. I talked with some of the people, a woman especially who had paired with a man. Both of them were much larger/fatter than I was and had dark hair. I had no one there and so just made the best of it. I remember telling the woman that I was just going to focus on being healthy and start back on my diet to lose some weight.

Then we were all asked to clock in. We were given tickets we had to punch and stood in line. I punched my ticket and then it ripped. I was told I would have to punch my card again but I never did.

As we were leaving we all went our separate ways. I began to head one way saying where I was from and a man said, “Then you need to go that way.” I said, “Oh, okay” and went in the direction he was pointing. I walked down the street and noticed someone was following me. It was a dark hair man. He had two small dolls in his hands. One was female and the other male. The male doll was all blue and muscular and looked like an action figure. I remember wondering why the man was following me and not being sure I wanted him to and was a bit annoyed. The man dropped the dolls on accident and picked them up. For some reason I kept thinking they had no heads but when I looked, they did.

 

 

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Discouraging Dreams

It was a rough night for me.

Dream: Harvesting the Field

I was with another person walking alongside a field of grass that had been cut low. They were talking about the harvest and how a new crop of shrimp had just come in. I looked and sure enough there were very tiny shrimp laying in a grid pattern all across the field. The shrimp looked as if it had already been cooked. Tiny, popcorn shrimp. I was shocked and asked where the shrimp had come from. I was told it had popped up through the surface, as if the field was really an ocean.

I wandered into the field. The ground was firm, so no ocean underneath. Still a bit confused, I walked the rows of shrimp. They soon turned into other things and I stopped and looked at my feet noticing the shrimp had morphed into something else. Looking closely, I saw what resembled an eel and I mentioned this to my friend. I bent down and touched it. It was slimy but firm, similar to a slug and resembling a slug. Yet I continued to think of it as an eel. It was dark colored and I could not distinguish the head from the tail. My friend was very encouraged by this development.

The garden soon turned into a store with isles of miscellaneous items. I walked the isles and saw that most of the items were partially used or damaged. I was told I could take whatever I wanted so I investigated, looking for anything I might want. The isle I found myself on had oral hygiene items like toothpaste and mouthwash. I picked up some Listerine that was half full and then grabbed another bottle of a different kind of mouthwash and combined the two to make it a full bottle.

I ran into a friend I use to go to high school with and we talked for some time about her marriage to one of our classmates. They had married right out of high school and started a family only to separate sometime later. I listened as she told me her story and was surprised to hear their marriage had failed.

eel-1Dream: 3 Years

Still inside the store, I wandered down an isle and ran into a couple who wanted to talk to me. They were standing next to a bicycle. They wanted to talk to me about a relationship issue and potential outcomes. The news was not good, at least I didn’t take it as good. There was an entire recalling of a past relationship I had with a man soon after my spiritual awakening. I had struggled with our separation and the topic of discussion centered on how I handled that particular difficulty. I re-experienced that period in my life and got very upset at the prospects of something like that happening again because I had been miserable for several months. Never before nor since has a breakup resulted in that much agony for me.

There was mention of what I would do if this particular person came back into my life. I recall seeing him years later and much older and discussing how very unlikely it would be that I would ever hear from him again. There was a phone in this discussion and I remember not knowing how he would even know my number. I had memory of how nasty I had been to him the last time we talked and knew I would not welcome communication from him. The purpose of all of this was to help me recognize my tendency to get angry and cut off communication when I am hurt. But it was also to show me how resilient I am because I had thought that breakup would surely kill me, but it didn’t. I survived. Though I may see anger as a negative emotion, it actually gave me the strength to get past the impasse I faced at that particular time in my life.

I found myself standing there with the couple feeling extremely dissuaded, though from what course of action I am not sure. I looked at the bicycle and noticed it had turned to ash. It was still standing but had I touched it, it would have disintegrated before my eyes.

The discussion continued and I was told to expect my current situation to continue for sometime. I got 3 years as the very longest period it could span. This caused me much upset. I felt as if all of the life had drained out of me. Three years seemed an eternity to me.

I woke up feeling discouraged and apathetic with tears in my eyes. I found it difficult to shake the apathetic feeling I had. I remember thinking, “This is surely going to kill me.” My guidance said to me,”What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” To make it clear, I repeated to him, “This is going to kill me. I won’t make it. This is too much.”

It has taken me some time to get past the feeling I woke with. I am not feeling especially encouraged about moving forward with life right now. Whatever the dream discussion brought up has me feeling completely hopeless.

Symbolism

First dream: 

Field – going through a period of personal growth
Shrimp – feeling overpowered and/or insignificant
Slug – progressing through life very slowly, almost painfully slow
Eel – trouble with commitment; one who escapes responsibility or culpability
Store – emotionally/physically drained, searching for solutions
Mouthwash – think before you speak (totally my problem all.the.time)

Considerations about this dream: I am being asked to step up and take responsibility for my life/choices. Avoiding things will not help but only lead to more of the same. Need to confront issues head on and stop pushing off making a decision. I need to be careful of what I say so as to not end up regretting it.

Second dream:

Store – still searching for solutions
Bicycle – need to devote more time to myself; more leisurely pursuits needed
Ash – feeling the good times are over and nothing of value is left in my life; can also represent the end of a relationship, the dashing of all hopes, bitter change and life disruption.

Considerations about this dream: When I woke up I was in agony over the prospect of never feeling Alive again. I felt as if my heart had been torn from my chest and stomped upon. I felt alone and isolated from my soul family. I felt cheated. The feeling of loss was such that I did not feel I would recover from it. Thus, my statement about it killing me. It did not help that I had spent much of this dream discussing a past relationship breakup that had been devastating to me. The idea was that whatever I am going through/will continue to go through, will be much more devastating and last much longer than the past one. It is not easy to swallow such news.

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It’s Time

Major changes taking place in my life at this time. I have been feeling overwhelmed and a bit lost. I have been drinking a glass of wine every night. Last night I had two. It worked. I felt extremely happy and optimistic when I went to bed. Then I couldn’t sleep despite feeling the wonderful heavy feeling from the wine. My guidance was exceptionally clear, which surprised me. I had exceptional clarity, too. I was told, “Pay attention to your dreams tonight. They will answer your questions.”

Dream: Old Crone and Present from a Friend

I recall vaguely what led up to this dream. I had deleted a playlist of music. This was done purposefully. It was a joint playlist of me and my husband. My husband was there and agreeable. We were looking at music to create a new playlist and I remember saying, “Too bad we didn’t save some of the old music. There were some good songs on there.” There were computer glitches at this time. The screen kept flickering.

The scene shifted and I was walking along a road in the mountains. It was cool and there was moisture in the air and on the ground as if it had just rained. These mountains were very lush and tropical-like with rugged outcroppings of volcanic rock. They reminded me Hawaii, though I have never been there.

I was with a female friend and had a car, though I do not recall being inside of it. We were just cresting the top of the mountain when a very old woman crossed our path. This old woman was nearly naked, with a huge stomach, very wrinkled skin, and breasts that hung so low they poked out the bottom of her dress. I remember thinking she was pregnant but then just realized she very old and ugly but I didn’t judge her for it. It was obvious she had been around a long time. I respected her for that.

She walked very slow, shuffling along on bare feet. I followed behind. Eventually she stopped and said to us, “I need to turn around.” This indicated to me that I needed to back up and allow her to do that. So I backed the car into a side street that was paved with stone. I walked along the stone and it poked my feet. When I looked down I saw the white rocks were pointy but not sharp. It was very uncomfortable to walk on.

When I turned I saw the old woman pulling one of her legs out of a very deep mud hole. I heard my friend say, “Be careful, don’t get stuck in the mud.” The mud was a yellowish-brown color and quite thick. I remember being grateful that I had not gotten stuck in it.

The scene shifted and I was walking inside of what appeared to be an art gallery. The art was made of wood and my female friend showed me one. It was curved and resembled the skeleton of a boat. I held it in my hand and saw that it was very similar to a light language symbol. The woman said, “It’s a gift. She made it for you.” She pointed and I looked and saw my friend Yvonne.

I went over to Yvonne and hugged her. I started to cry in deep, heaving sobs. Yvonne said to me, “You need a break.” As I hugged her and cried I heard, “You’re not alone.”

I woke up still crying and could not get the tears to let up. For some reason I felt I needed to look at the clock. The time was 1:11am. The song Litost was going through my head again. The part, “I’ll never be whole again” but also the part, “Bury your burdens, baby. Make them all disappear.” It took me a while to return to sleep.

Dream: Burning Forest

In this dream I was sitting in the middle of a clearing in a forest. I dropped a lit match and watched it catch fire to the fallen pine needles. It slowly spread to the underbrush and trees. I just sat there as if waiting for something. The fire began to blaze out of control. Over the top of my head and all around me I could see and hear the roaring fire. Yet I just sat there.

Then a masculine voice said to me, “You can’t stay here. You have to go now.” I saw the tops of the trees falling in flames around me. It was so close I could feel the heat of the fire. The message got through and I got up and walked out of the center of the fire.

I ended up standing outside of a building. It was like I was transported to another place in an instant. It was very dark. I couldn’t see anything. It worried me because I didn’t know where I was or what I would do to survive in this new, unknown place. I felt completely and utterly alone and that was by far the worst part.

The voice said to me, “You are safe. You are not alone.” There was conversation here about where I was; what this dark, unknown place represented. I was very lucid by this time and listening carefully to what was being relayed to me. While I listened, I heard a familiar song – Imagine Dragons, It’s Time, “This house doesn’t burn down slowly. To ashes. To ashes.”

When I woke up I had tears in my eyes again.

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Changes

I start my job tomorrow. Part of me is looking forward to it and another part isn’t. I am assured by my guidance that it will be a good experience. We will see. At least the money is good.

The emotional outbursts I am experiencing are very strange to me. I had them when I was in Tennessee, too. One time hugging my friend Yvonne just like in the dream. I don’t do that kind of thing! lol I am a hide-in-my-room-and-cry person. I don’t understand, really. It is like I am grieving but at the same time as if I am exploding in an overwhelming amount of love. It feels like my heart can’t contain it and so it just floods out of me. Honestly, it reminds me of when I was pregnant. Ugh! I was a mess when I was pregnant. Always crying at the drop of a dime. I HATED it. I feel weak and pathetic when I cry and can’t stop. It is upsetting to me and so then I cry more (eyeroll). And no, not pregnant. lol

There are changes coming, some already underway. These changes (the ones I know of) do not trigger the emotional outbursts. In fact, I feel nearly emotionless regarding them. This is why the crazy crying episodes are so odd. WTF is happening to me? Who the hell knows. I am just glad I have been able to keep it together in front of people so far. Last thing I want is to go to work and someone give me a look of sympathy and then lose it right then and there. Please God don’t let that happen. lol

Pray my first day goes well. It will be an early one.

 

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Dream: 38 Special

Another eventful night. What is going on? Is it just me or are others experiencing something similar? Perhaps it is the up and coming new moon in Scorpio? Preparation for new beginnings. Clearing out the old to make way for the new.

I have way more to messages/Knowing than I will have time to write about. I’m experiencing another information overload….download….whatever you want to call it. Half of the time I don’t know it is happening. Well most of my waking day I don’t notice. At night it’s another story.

Dream: 38 Special

I woke up with a start from a dream sequence about guns at around 11:30pm. I was handling all kinds of guns, looking them over and  discussing the best one to carry on my person – light, small, easy to use. I had my Dad’s Colt 45 semi-automatic pistol in my hand. It is heavy and difficult to use with a bad-ass kick that could throw your shoulder out if you aren’t careful. I put it down, knowing it was no good for me. I then looked at a Ruger 357 Magnum revolver. I knew this gun and said, “Hell no.” My ex-husband had one and I knew enough to know it wasn’t for me. The man then showed me a small revolver. It was black and compact. He gave it to me and I heard, “38 Special”.

At this time I had memories of my past seemingly hit me all at once. Each gun had a story and the 38 Special had been a gun my mom owned when she and my father were going through a divorce. It had been suggested that she have one for personal protection and I remember seeing it as a small child and then later when she showed it to me as a teenager and told me her side of the divorce drama. My Dad’s gun was found after his death stored in a locked box, loaded and cocked. The serial number was filed off of it suggesting he had not wanted it to be traced. That was just how my father was back then. The Ruger was my ex’s and the gun he took on camping and hunting trips just in case a bear showed up. He loved that gun. I don’t think I ever fired it.

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1970’s Colt 45 similar to the one I have.

Returning to the dream I began to think of which gun would be best for ending a person’s life. I was told any of them would do. There was discussion then about my own life and I had a wave of melancholy wash over me. I have been considering selling my Dad’s Colt 45 but had not done it since the serial number was missing. I had been planning on buying a 9mm pistol or some other small handgun. The topic of suicide was brought up and I was reminded of the consequences of such a decision. This I knew and knew well.

The guns then disappeared and in their place were hamburger patties on a grill. I remember thinking, “WTF?” lol The man I was with was laughing and talking about the “game” and how nice it would be to just enjoy it.

I woke up hearing the song Litost. The specific lyrics running through my head were, “But if you stay. If you just stay for the night…” I was reminded to keep going, to hang on and remember my mission. Things would get better and soon. I rolled over, ignoring my guidance because I have heard this message before and their idea of “soon” is never near what mine is.

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Dream: Turtle Pool

I had many other dreams but this is a vivid one. I was visiting a house that had an above ground swimming pool. The pool looked like a pond, though, with murky, brown water and even a tree growing in it. The woman who owned it said it was purposeful and pointed to two, large snapping turtles. They were enormous and swam toward the tree. I remember thinking they were a pair.

We walked around the banks of the pool and I saw another turtle in the distance. Beside it was a fawn and I pointed to it saying, “Look, it’s a baby deer!” At that moment the deer moved and morphed into a small, blonde monkey. It dashed across the island toward us and I remember thinking I had it all wrong. I became lucid then, trying to figure out the meaning of the symbols in the dream.

When I woke up I thought about the monkey and the Chinese zodiac. Just so happens 2016 is the year of the Monkey. I am a fire Dragon but I don’t know much about it other than what I have read on those place mats at Chinese restaurants. lol My idea of the monkey, though, is that they tend to make decisions without thinking first and this can get them into trouble. Sounds familiar. lol They are definitely NOT patient and wise like the turtle.

Considerations

There were other dreams, but I won’t go into detail here. My considerations regarding these two dreams are that I am surrounded in protection and being reminded to take my time regarding my current path and decisions. Slow and steady wins the race. Patience is a virtue. Don’t give up. Etc, etc.

Life reviews have been a dream pattern since my return from Tennessee. If I have vivid dreams, there is usually at least one section where my past returns to me all at once and cycles and patterns are revealed in an instant. The Knowingness that comes with it is beyond my human ability to completely digest. It is an all-pervading Knowingness that comes replete with a Divine connection to Source.

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Just Jump

I’ve been sick for a couple of days now. It started with an awful sore throat and now it’s all congestion. This must be what snails feel like. lol

I had difficulty going to sleep last night because I got really upset and angry at everyone and everything. I feel abandoned and alone. This came with a feeling of disconnect from my life/location/family. There was also an upset over going back to work. Even though I will make really, really, really (yeah) good money for the temporary position, I am angry at “having” to go back to work.

I fell asleep around midnight both because of thinking too much and this miserable cold. I became lucid and then fully conscious but the dream continued despite me being wide awake. This time I was even physically active, walking around my bedroom. It was like I was sleep walking but then I wasn’t. I was wide awake, eyes open, and dreaming at the same time.

The dream itself I can’t remember in full now. What I recall most vividly is being in a darkened room that seemed to extend forever in one direction. Like a very elongated rectangle. I was looking for a door, an exit, and feeling along the side of the wall for a door knob. I could see, but barely. There was no light but I could make out shapes and distance.

I knew I was up and walking both in the dream and in physical reality. It was like I was two parts of me – the dreamer and the one in a physical body, awake and aware. I walked along the edge of my room and this unfamiliar room simultaneously. The room I was most aware of was the dream room, though I could tangibly feel the physical room.

I found the door knob and turned it, opening it a crack. At that moment I became confused. Which room was I in? In the dream room I was opening a door along the longer side of the room. I could see far in front of me and there was a slight grayish colored light that turned to a white speck in the distance. I could see more features of the room at this time. It had no furniture and seemed almost cartoon-like with rough edges colored in various shades of grays like someone had sketched it with a pencil.

In my physical reality room I was opening the closet door and knew it didn’t lead anywhere.

When I recognized which door I was physically opening, the closet door, I snapped out of the waking dreamstate I was in and completely shifted into physical reality. I then saw only my bedroom and my hand was on the doorknob. I shut the closet door and went to the bedroom door and opened it. By this time I was wondering what had just happened and went back to bed. Thoroughly confused and disoriented it took me a while to feel like myself again. Then the message became clear to me and I was not happy about it.

The message was obviously that I had opened a door that, like the closet door, led nowhere. It would not allow exit from my bedroom (situation/issue).

Dream: Performance

I somehow fell back to sleep. This time I dreamed of watching myself perform an act from behind a pane of glass. Inside the glass I could see myself as if I were on video. I was talking about my life, my past experiences, my relationships with men, my lessons and my spiritual transformation. I had memories of my entire life at this time. I was very bubbly and happy, even dancing at one point as images of flowers were projected on me.

When I woke from this dream at 4am I knew I had been reviewing my life. I did not like how happy and unconcerned I was in the dream. It was like I was just going with the flow and cared not about the outcomes of my choices. It was just a fun game. This made me angry. As if to egg me on, I was reminded of how I was as a child – care-free and unconcerned about the outcomes of my actions, just like the me in the dream. I understood the message but was not interested in listening. I went into despair at this point, ending up in tears and angry at my guides and my impossible situation. Again I felt abandoned and kept telling my guidance I can’t do this alone.

I must have fallen asleep but don’t remember doing so.

Vector illustration of a man lock up in prison

Dream: Trapped

I entered a room that had a church feeling to it. I tiptoed around two men with vacuum cleaners. They were vacuuming two very different carpeted floors in the same room. The floor I recall most was a shag carpet in an off-white, almost yellowish color. There was a moment when I confused the vacuuming with mowing because the carpet in one area was so long and green it resembled grass.

I tried to walk past one man, the one vacuuming the pale colored carpet, but another man was there talking to him and ignored my request to move. He seemed to be interviewing the man who was mowing asking him questions about his Christian upbringing. I finally interrupted and said more loudly, “Excuse me, can I please get through?” He said something I can’t recall but it was rude and continued to stand in my way. I finally said, “It doesn’t matter now, the opening is gone.” I then walked past him and through another space between the carpeted floors.

Then I was inside a room. It was small, maybe 10×10 foot square. There were two doors besides the one I came in but they were shut. The room was painted a light brown color and unfurnished. Very ugly and boring overall. I attempted to go through one of the doors and a woman told me, “Sorry, you can’t leave. They are cleaning and no one can leave until they are done.” I questioned this and attempted to go through one of the doors and a man stood in my way. He said something regarding religion like “cleanliness is next to Godliness“. I remember thinking he was a crazy Bible thumper.

I awoke briefly and was reminded of something my guidance said to me the other day – “We are rapists of ideology.” I understood then what this dream was about – that my beliefs were trapping me; I was forcing them upon myself. I did not want to hear this and told them I wanted out. I just wanted to leave.

Dream: Pile of Leaves

This was a very brief dream, almost more of an in-between experience than a dream. I was picking up leaves, one by one, and putting them in a pile. They were all dead and brown, at that crunchy, dead leaf stage. The pile was little but substantial enough to fill half a wheel barrow. I remember holding one in my hand and hearing, “Leaves”. I looked at the pile and then realized I was dreaming and receiving a message. I immediately became irritated and said to them, “I get it. Leaves = leave.” I saw the pile of leaves and knew each leaf in the pile was a reason not to leave. I was then reminded of a blog post I recently read. It was a channeled message and was very short. It said simply, “We ask that you stop waiting to be rescued.” I heard then, “Why don’t you just leave already.”

I then began to list off all the reasons why I can’t leave. There were so, so many.

I heard/knew then, “There will always be a list of reasons. All of them very convincing.”

Then I was saying to my guidance, “But now I have a job and start work on Monday. I need that money. It’s too much money to pass up. And I need to be here for Christmas and there’s a birthday in January….March….May….” And on and on. Despite these reasons I still felt crappy about everything.

Then all the night’s lessons via the dreamstate hit home. Yet even then, even with all the messages, messages that make complete sense to me, I can’t seem to move. I’m frozen. And today I have laryngitis because of this damn cold. Yeah.

Then this morning, as I was reading through FB comments, I saw that a friend wrote, “Jump, Dayna Stone. Jump.” I’m like, Nooooooooo you have to PUSH me.

No wonder I’m sick.

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Dream: Coward

I had an eye-opening reading with Eric Starwalker (thanks Eric!) last night that I am still processing. I recorded it and plan on transcribing it in full today. I will share with you those parts that I feel are not too personal after I have had the chance to transcribe and digest all the information I was given. Overall, what I was told was good and there was tons of confirmation and validation of what my own guidance has been telling me. There was also some information I believe was meant to be passed on directly via Eric because I have been up until now unable to receive it from my guidance. I am extremely grateful to my friend Sophia for setting up the reading for me. Had she not encouraged me, it was likely I never would have gone through with it. There was information I did not want to hear so I was balking at the idea. It is interesting how Spirit takes care of these things, isn’t it?

Something energetically shifted for me last night. Unfortunately it has left me with a horrible sore throat which manifested before the reading and has not let up. I also did not sleep well, waking up at 2am, throat burning, from a very unsettling dream.

Dream: Coward

I was walking through what appeared to be a college campus. It was very clean, almost pristine, with white sidewalks and manicured gardens. My purpose was to plant a bomb and leave the scene before anyone saw me. The bomb appeared to be a sheet of paper that was folded over on itself. It would detonate slowly, spreading a toxic acid into the air which would smother those it came in contact with.

I remember running and hiding, trying not to be seen. I felt pursued but don’t recall anyone actually following me. I finally deposited the bomb into a trashcan and ran away.

At this point in the dream I saw the repercussions of my actions. I saw the people running and knew the bomb was slow and suffocating to those it made contact with. It was not quick by any means. This delay and torture was very obvious and seemed to be the main focus of my attention.

Then I was then in a room with a child who was mine but who I did not recognize. I was looking down at my left forearm which had a reddish burn on it that was spreading. The child also had it. There was discussion here. I had gotten the burns from the bomb which I held onto for too long and so the acid had burned my skin. I was trying to determine what to do next. I knew I would be caught and likely go to prison so my first thought was to just kill myself. Then I thought I would just go to prison and didn’t care if I did. It was at this point I remember thinking,”Wait a minute. This isn’t real. This is a dream. There is no bomb.”

A flood of knowingness came to me then. I knew the dream was about my life and how I have chosen a path that will slowly destroy my current life and in the end would also injure me in some way. My choices are drawing out the inevitable. This is when I heard very loudly, “Coward. Coward. Coward.”

The symbolism indicates my knowingness is accurate. The college campus represents a lesson I am learning. Running away from a pursuer is not facing or confronting my fears. Hiding indicates I am avoiding taking responsibility for my actions or life. The trashcan is unwanted baggage or rejection of an idea or emotion.  The bomb symbolizes a potentially explosive situation. The acid is something or someone that is slowly eating away at me. My injured arm symbolizes my inability to help myself or a feeling of helplessness in reaching out to others. The fact that it is my left arm means these feelings are connected to my feminine, nurturing side.

I was able to return to sleep but it was fitful and I am tired this morning. I don’t feel upset by the dream necessarily but my guidance has been close and asking me, “What will you do?” As if my mind should have been changed in the night by what transpired. I suspect the information given in my reading fueled this dream.

 

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Welcome to the Jungle

This song came to mind yesterday morning. The only words I heard were, “Welcome to the jungle.” I immediately played the song to see why I was getting the message. As I listened, I knew it meant that a decision had been made regarding the job I interviewed for the day before. Jungle = back to work, back to the 3D grind. I knew I got the job.

I let it slip my mind and went about my day. At 5pm I got the phone call. My daughter had asked me the day of the interview if I was going to take the job. I told her that I would know when they offered it to me because the answer would just come out of my mouth and there would be no hesitation or feeling of dread. This is in fact what happened.  When the woman said, “We would love it if you would come work with us”, I replied, “I would love to!” And you know what? I actually felt excited. Good sign! Yay!

The excitement remains with intermittent moments of concern at the idea of having to get up early and come home late every day. I am so spoiled now with my routine of wake up whenever and do whatever I want all day long. Yet my guidance and heart tell me this is what I need to do for now. I need to get back into the work routine. I need an outlet for my creativity. I need to be productive and contribute to the world via direct interactions with those who need me the most – the children.

When I follow my guidance and heart, things line up like dominoes for me. It was within a week of knowing I needed to take this step that this first domino was presented. I had not even applied for this position but someone at HR thought I would be a good fit. When it was offered I immediately knew that even though it is a temporary, full-time position that it would lead to a permanent one if I took it. I also knew that if I wanted it, it was mine. When I got to the interview and met the two women who interviewed me, I knew again that the job was mine. My answers just flowed out. I had not prepared nor even thought about what I would say, yet with each question the right answer emerged. There was even one time I responded and what came out of my mouth surprised me because I had no idea why I answered the way I did. Then later, one of the ladies gave me information that confirmed what I had said was correct.

This is the domino effect in a nutshell. I’ve seen it happen enough times now to know that it is no accident. Now it is just a matter of letting the dominoes fall and lead me to my destination. To question the path or try to look too far ahead does me no good. I must trust that I am being led in the right direction and thankfully my past experience shows my trust will be rewarded.

My guidance reassures me that this path is “clear”. I was shown it in a dream last night. It appeared as a brilliant white, spotless, paved path. It veered to my right and I could see a good distance down it. There was another path, to the left. It was also white but my attention was directed to the path on the right and I heard distinctly, “The path has been cleared.” I also received “Uranus” as part of the message, saying the planet is directly influencing this part of my journey.

Though I awoke feeling a big apprehensive about the future because of the heavy change ahead, my guidance continues to reassure me, asking me to be optimistic and Remember who I am.

Since I begin work sometime mid-week next week, I will not have much time to blog. The hours I will be working are 7:15am – 3:45pm with a 20 minute commute one-way. This makes for a long work day and an early morning (ouch!). However, I will have the typical school holidays – one week for Thanksgiving and two weeks for Christmas – which will be nice.

Note: I already have a contract position and turned down an assignment that would have started November 1st. It did not feel right to me at the time. I am still technically employed by this employer and could received a contract at any time, but have the option to turn them down. The job I just accepted runs until the end of January.

 

 

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Full Moon Dreams

 

Very random but vivid dreams followed me through the night last night.

Dream: Traveling for 4 Days

This dream seemed to last most of the night but it went on tangents that then converged at the end. It began as a trip with friends through a mountain pass. A woman was driving very fast and I was afraid she would crash the car. I was imagining her taking a curve too sharply and losing control. I could feel the entire scenario as if were happening.

She turned to me to confront me on my thoughts/feelings, telling me that she could feel what I feared. She told me she would have to slow down now because what I feared would manifest. I understood but was still afraid. I remember looking up at the sheer cliffs of mountain rock on either side of us. It was as if we had cut straight through the mountain and even though the car did slow down, we were still going uncomfortably fast.

Then I remember driving through the countryside, the rolling hills much more soothing and in contrast to the mountains we had just been in. We were heading somewhere foreign and in the dream it felt like France. I remember liking it and wanting to stay.When we arrived, friends were waiting to show us the apartment they had leased. I was taken inside and given a tour. It was very modern, high tech and clean. What was peculiar was there was a chair that looked like a giant spider. It took up an entire corner of the living room and was black and gray with tiny hairs making it resemble a tarantula laying on it’s back. I remember thinking it would be creepy to sit in it but wanting to.

Then it was as if I took a detour and transported somewhere else temporarily. I was with an older couple but mainly focused on the woman. The women had lost her driver’s license and much of the dream was about how to resolve the situation. I recall I was trying to buy her a souvenir and someone was showing me mugs with Christmas themes. The one I was encouraged to buy was a mug in the shape of Santa. I remember thinking it was too expensive and wanting another one but the man kept insisting I get the Santa one. The elderly lady was talking to someone about her license saying she was being forced to renew it every 15 years. The 15 was repeated and I almost became lucid because of it.

Then I was inside a car again with my family group and we had stopped for a break. We were on day 3 with only one more day of travel left. I told them I needed to go to Home Depot and asked them to wait. When I got there I kept asking questions of the store clerk  about the steps to change my name. I sat at a long table and filled out paperwork. I remember asking if they sold jewelry. The clerk said yes and pointed to the display which was right next to me. It appeared that the name change and jewelry was linked to preparing to be married and I remember being confused by this because I knew I was already married.

When I returned to the car my family had left to go to a water park. I was stranded at the car alone and could not reach them by phone. I recall the phone number flashing on the phone. It read 111 and then 1111.

Dream: Wedding Dress

I don’t recall much of this part of the dream except talking to someone about my upcoming wedding. I was wearing a brilliantly white wedding dress but when I looked at myself in it my entire body was black, like I had been burned to crisp. Seeing myself this way shocked me to the point of waking up.

Interpretation

The driving part of the dreams is symbolic me feeling like my life is speeding out of control. The me driving the car relays to me that my fears will manifest, slowing me down. I understand but still feel the fear and the car is still way too fast. The fact that the road is cutting through the mountains seems to indicate that the typically steep, treacherous terrain of the mountain has been leveled allowing for faster progress. This may or may not be a good sign. lol

The apartment in the next dream section indicates that I am headed in the right direction and things will quickly improve. The spider symbolizes mastery, power and growth. Since it is in the form of a chair and seems to invite me to sit in it, I suspect I am being invited to relax into my own mastery, power and growth.

The dream section about the elderly couple seems to indicate that I am reviewing my “old” self and making adjustments to my identification of self. The lost driver’s license further suggests a loss of identity or Self. The selection of a mug is indicative of love, nurturance, rejuvenation and healing. The number 15 relays the message that some much needed changes are being made and transitions are occurring.

The Home Depot part is funny to me because I instantly knew Home Depot was a place where I could find what I needed to get Home to mySelf. lol I suspect I was being instructed by my guides at this time on my changing identity and coming spiritual transformation. The fact that I returned to the car and found my family gone, off having a good time without me, suggests I am feeling alone and alienated from my family group (soul family). The inability to contact them by phone was also evident of feeling blocked and unable to communicate. The 111 and 1111 for me represents manifestation as well as my connection with my counterpart.

The wedding gown represents an evaluation of my personal relationships. The fact that I have black skin that appears burned suggests that I feel unworthy or could indicate there is a “death” occurring in regards to the relationship I am evaluating.

 

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Find Your Focal Point

Yet another late morning. I seem to be integrating all the intense energies, purging and Shifting that has been my life for the last week. The full moon is also fast approaching and I typically feel the energies associated with it a few days before and after. Apparently, this full moon is a super moon in Aries. Get ready to feel the fire and get your butt burned into action! lol That’s all I need, more fire in my ass (rolling eyes).

There has been quite a bit of talk about it being decision time right now. Do we choose to stay enmeshed in 3D and our typical life patterns or do we take a leap of faith and embrace 5D? I can see this clearly in my own life situation right now. I feel like I am walking a tight rope. My balance is wavering with each step and the other side, my destination, seems impossible to reach. I hear my guidance reminding me, “One step at a time.” Sounds familiar. I have learned this lesson before. And it works to just look far enough ahead to take the next step. Looking too far ahead can be intimidating and throw you off balance. I think tight rope walkers know this better than anyone! Find your focal point and keep it and you will reach your destination in no time.

Reminds me of certain yoga poses like Tree Pose. I always lose my balance if I don’t have a focal point….

Funny, I was feeling really disheartened before I wrote that last paragraph and now not so much. Makes me laugh how my guidance comes through sometimes.

So my car is acting up again. What is up with that!? This time a light continues to flash. It is the airbag light. When it flashes it means the airbag is malfunctioning and I should take it to the dealership so they can hook it up to a machine and flip a switch and then charge me buttloads of money. If I consider the symbolism behind it, I think of how right now I feel like I have no safety net to catch me. Like I am taking a huge leap of faith into a deep, black abyss of the unknown. Thankfully the seat belt is not malfunctioning, just the airbag. Airbags just give you black eyes anyway, right? lolol

blackcatlove

Dreams and Symbols

I continue to have tons of dreams and the symbolism continues to amaze me. Last night I had cats in my dream again. This time they were found hiding inside my black pick-up truck. The cat was black and purring. It had been hiding in the wheel well and then jumped into the truck and joined several other cats. I remember petting it and wanting to take care of it. This is in stark contrast to my past cat dreams where I always wanted them to go away  or they were injured or starving. Guess I am embracing my feminine aspect finally. Yay for me!

In another dream I was taking a test and got flustered so went for a walk. I ended up sitting at a desk outside a classroom holding my head in my hands. There was a teacher there, an old coworker. In real life this cowoker had made a bad decision which cost her her job. I showed her I had completed an entire page of my essay but the feeling was that I was distracted by another assignment that I had yet to complete and it was getting in the way. The feeling was of total exhaustion and a desire to give up. I eventually left the room and could barely squeeze out the door which had somehow shrunk in size since I had gone through it. Feeling stuck and preoccupied with past due assignments. lol

In another dream I was in a white car that had no driver. The car was going very fast and then stopped at the theater. I went inside, knowing I had a ticket in my back pocket. I had to get in line to give them my ticket. As I stood there, I was joined by a dark haired man who took my hand. I knew he loved me but I felt uncomfortable, unworthy of his love. Yet at the same time I wanted to hold his hand, so I did. That is when I turned and saw the obese man and woman. I knew them. The woman was me even though she looked the complete opposite of me – dark hair and eyes and much shorter. I felt disgusted when I saw them, total rejection. A thinner version of the woman then appeared in my mind and told me that they had to complete a contract before they could continue with their own. I saw this contract as a highway construction job. There was also discussion about them losing a lawsuit because they had signed the papers with “Mr. and Mrs.” She told me it they would have won had they remained separate.

I also woke up crying from a dream in which I was being unfairly criticized for not following the crowd. When I woke up I was thinking, “Why are people so mean!?”

Overall, my dreams seem to imply that I am on the right path but I can’t rush the process. There remains an assignment/contract yet to be completed and I can’t leave it unfinished because I want to work on the next/current one.