Category Archives: Dreams

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Recent Dreams

I am writing these dreams down to have an account of what is occurring in my sleep. These are the main ones I remember.

Dream: Missing the Bus

I am at my mom’s house. Things don’t look right. It is as if someone has moved in and changed everything. The land next door, the land I use to own, was purchased by a man who left an old, deteriorating school bus on the fence that divided the properties. I am angry at him. He has ruined the view with an old, abandoned school bus!

Then I am wandering around on my grandparent’s property near their front gate. I feel I am waiting on the school bus. I don’t know how I got there, though. I turn and walked up their driveway. I hear the bus pass by and I turn and watch as it heads down the road.

I missed the bus. This makes me feel very sad.

Dream: Loving Self

I am in a parking lot. A young, disheveled looking woman approaches me. Her hair is dark, short and messy and she is very petite. She appears to be homeless and seeing her makes me nervous. Will she try to attack or rob me?

She comes closer and I suddenly feel huge amounts of sympathy for her. I approach her and tell her it will be okay. I lean in and kiss her gently on the lips and tell her, “I love you”. She is still cautious but I am set on taking care of her. I offer her a small bottle of shampoo and say, “Here. You should wash your hair.” She takes it hesitantly and we go into the convenience store and to the bathroom which has showers.

Then I am in the shower washing my hair. It is as if I become the homeless girl. As I wash my hair I see her being approached by two men. They mean her harm and I am frozen with fear. I look in the shower stall for something I can attack the men with. I can’t find anything and feel helpless to help her. One of the men comes toward her. He is tall and thin but very alien looking, his legs and arms much longer than they should be. He is either naked or wearing a gray jumper. In fact, all of him is gray. He also has no sex organs. This shocks me into wakefulness.

Dream: Choice

I am inside a very brightly lit school building in the administration section. They have asked me to work there as a teacher teaching middle school Science. I know I can do it but I have no desire to do so. I tell them that I would likely start a fire with the students when we did a lab. They reassure me this would not happen. I don’t believe them.

I then remember I can take the job of counselor and speak to the principal about this. He is sitting behind a desk and looks me up and down. I feel judged and can hear others – teachers and staff – whispering behind my back. I think, “I don’t have to deal with this anymore.” I walk out of the office.

In the hall area is a man I am very drawn to. He is different, not like these people who judge me all the time. He is openly accepting. He is also very artistic and can spend hours creating works of art. I feel drawn to him. I just want to be around him. When I am with him I feel calm and at ease. It is as if he compliments me in every way.

He is carving a sculpture out of a head of cabbage. I look up at it. It it about the height of two people. Despite being light green in color, it looks nothing like the cabbage it is supposedly made out of. What is interesting is that it is composed of geometric shapes. So beautiful!

I stand very close to him. I can’t stay away from him. He has such a wonderful feeling and energy that radiates off of him.  I openly admire his artistic ability.

The people at the school make fun of us. I turn and look at them all with contempt. How could they be so cruel! I am prepared to defend him to my own detriment. I yell something at them but he redirects my attention away from them and I am completely calmed by him. I know they don’t matter. All that matters is us.

Eventually I get this feeling that I have to get out of there. I can’t stand to be around all these people and it is as if the man completely disappears. The urge to run is so intense that I begin to frantically search for the exit. I see it and run for it.

When I get outside there are lines of cars barely moving. I have to zigzag through them to reach my truck which is on the other side. When I try to find my truck, I can’t. I keep seeing it in my mind – black and shiny. Why isn’t it where it is suppose to be?

Symbolism

School bus –  an important life journey is needed for personal growth
Missed bus – indicates an aspect of one’s life is out of control
Passing bus – going against the crowd or on the wrong path

Shampoo – self-growth, presenting a new image of self to the world
Hair –  sexual virility, seduction, sensuality, vanity, and health
Shower – spiritual and/or physical renewal and forgiveness

Whispering – represents one’s own insecurities and anxieties
Line of cars/traffic – frustration that life is going too slowly or unsmoothly
Cabbage – reminds us not to waste time on petty things

Source

 

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Riding the Dragon

The Kundalini acceleration continues. I am definitely “riding the Dragon”.

I was awakened at 3am from a dream in which I was joining a new group. Prior to this I had visited a team I was overlooking and ran into a gentleman who was overly enamored of me. I was warned that my Light is amplified at this time and to expect more such encounters both in dreams/the astral and in the physical.

I was called to a meeting. I was late so it was embarrassing to be called in at the last minute. There was a special guest in front of the group. I felt out of place. Everyone was so much older than me it seemed. I was worried he would ask me to introduce myself. Thankfully he didn’t. Instead he began to read us all a story. All I recall of it now was that it was titled, “La Luna” and was about an ancient healing modality yet to be utilized on Earth. The healing was performed in conjunction with the phases of the moon.

I was awakened at this time and there was with me a young man who was very excited to meet me. He was not a guide but a member of the new group I had joined. His accent was odd and I could not place it. His energy was sky high and he was completely joyous. His name was Gerard and he told me he was from New Caledonia. I recognized the name but could not place it. He told me it was near Indonesia and French, which is why his accent was so strange. I looked it up this morning and sure enough this information is valid. So if you are Gerard – nice to meet you and I look forward to working with you.

Gerard had much to say. Thankfully, I now keep a notebook and pen beside my bed for times such as these. Here is what he told me:

Your Divine Fire has been lit. It will burn for the next 12-16 months. You are riding the Dragon. You are not doing this alone. Your counterpart is as well. There has been a Divine Union. You have a group of four; an inner circle. Like 2 split atoms; 2 became 4. 4 is a number you are familiar with. It repeats in your life. Your flame will burn uncontrollably until it reaches the 12th house (12th chakra? this is image I saw – chakras way up high over my head). This is complete embodiment. Whole. This process follows the cycles of the moon. La Luna. The magik of La Luna. Your fire will attract others. Be aware of your own energy. You are Brilliant and will be from now on. You are Awake. 

As he was talking to me there was a strange sensation in my root chakra. It felt like a hollow, glass tube was there. I could feel its expansiveness but the energy was normal.

I was able to return to sleep. I guess I am just too exhausted now after several days of interrupted sleep.

Root Chakra Explosion 

I found myself in a dream in which I was riding in a large SUV with family. We had been driving all night and stopped. That was when I saw the airbag had deployed but on the outside of the vehicle. It covered the entire hood.

As members of my group got out to deflate it, I saw a very tall individual wearing a blue jumpsuit. I identified the person as “she” and ran up to her calling her “sister”. She was strange looking – her face so dark I could not make out features. I remember her inviting me to join with her. I told her, “Not in this life, sister. Maybe in the next one.” I was so enthused at seeing her, though, that I gave her a hug. She was so tall that I had to jump into her arms to hug her. She had to be at least 8-9ft tall. She embraced me and kissed me. I held on to her and then realized she had initiated a kind of activation in my root chakra. Energy began to explode down toward my feet. It was a spectacular feeling and so intense that it woke me up. It continued for about 10 minutes afterward. The energy was so intense that it expanded down past my knees in a bubble. I could see it even – it was cherry red but not a solid color. It was more opalescent.

I have had root chakra activity in the past but nothing like this. It was pure ecstasy but also very sexual. I had no control over my body. It is embarrassing but at the same time I don’t really care. It was a spectacular experience.

After the energy abated my entire lower body up to my naval felt similar to how it felt after I had my babies. It is similar to intense menstrual cramping or back labor. I had a flash then of what had really happened. There had been some kind of spiritual surgery done and an intentional activation of the root chakra. It was explained that it was in preparation for the next step in the process coming on Tuesday.

I suspect that the tall, androgynous looking person wearing a blue jumper was likely an ET and one I am familiar with and not afraid of. This is likely why I could not see “her” face as well.

Implants

I was able to once again fall asleep (thank you!) but my sleep kept getting interrupted. I don’t know why They have to keep waking me up! I just wanted to sleep!

Anyway, I awoke this time around from a sign that was placed in front of my vision. I saw the message upon it written in cursive. It said, “Implants Placed.” Then below that was my real, legal name.

Of course this woke me with a start. This has not been the first time I have had a message about implants. I am not sure what they mean, but since my “other” name was used, I suspect these implants are being removed. Good.

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Missing the Missing Piece

So it seems the energy has shifted once again. This time I felt it shift yesterday, mid-morning. I had a knot in my solar plexus and knew something was about to happen. I hate that feeling.

The day was okay considering I kept myself busy. I drove to my Mom’s with my three children and we spent a lot of time outdoors. It was a brilliant day in Texas. Spring is in the air and the temps are superb! Yet throughout this visit I felt sucked dry of energy and lethargic. All I wanted to do was hide in the house but when I did that I would become restless. So it was out in the sunshine for me.

Thankfully, I was completely alert and without brain fog while driving. However, since my mood had shifted, I did not feel like singing along to my music like I usually do. Life just seemed empty, as did I. Ugh.

When I went to bed I asked for clarity on some things. I had returned once again to feeling like my life was incomplete; that I was incomplete. I hate that feeling and it has haunted me all of my life. There is nothing worse than to feel a piece of you has been lost; like there is a gaping hole inside your heart that nothing can fill.

 

The Missing Piece

I had a long conversation with my Team during the night and woke up at 4am extremely sad and asking why I couldn’t exit this life. It all felt too hard. I didn’t want to feel the emptiness anymore. How can anyone live with such a feeling?! How had I lived with the feeling for so long?

I knew I had tried to fill the hole with everything imaginable – possessions, relationships, children, careers, hobbies, etc. Nothing ever filled it, it just made it less painfully obvious. I also know this hole had been present in all my past lives. Where was the missing piece? How do I get it back?

I fell to sleep and entered a dream in which I was inside a person’s apartment. It was a tiny apartment and very clean – everything in its place. It was tiny like a guest house or maybe an efficiency apartment. The occupant arrived and caught me there. He was young and fearful. At first he was blonde and fair but then he turned dark haired and familiar to me.

For some reason I went up to him and began to tell him about himself. He was reclusive – like a hermit. He did this to avoid others and their emotions as he was an empath. He preferred animals because they did not judge and only offered pure love and acceptance. I reached out and grabbed both his hands and looked him directly in the eyes and asked him to “read” me. He wouldn’t. So I told him more about himself and explained why he was feeling what he was feeling. I remember feeling like he and I were very similar. I told him some of his future but while doing so I could see the words I was saying scripted on a holographic screen in front of me. The words vanished and I heard, “System overload. Simulation terminated.” It was really weird!

Then I saw a group of people on the sideline – like an audience. I went to join them and knew we were a “group”. I remember associating us with super heroes calling us the Avengers (lol). The young boy was part of our group but not yet ready to join us.

When I awoke I could feel the emptiness inside very strongly and felt a bubble of energy from my root chakra down to my knees. Then I burst into tears.

I really, really hate the feeling. My understanding is that this missing piece is me missing my Wholeness. I miss Home. It is extremely noticeable right now.

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Into the Abyss

I awoke at 4am wide awake and with a very interesting Being nearby. If you have ever seen the movie The Abyss, then you get an idea of what I saw this morning. She looked like a luminescent butterfly.

I have seen the movie so many times I’ve nearly got it memorized. It’s one of my favorites. And look at what year it was released! 1989. There’s that year again. hahaha I have no doubt now that I saw the “luminescent butterfly” this morning just to remind me of this movie, and likely the year as well. Makes me want to watch it again. 🙂

Also when I awoke I had energy all over my body. It was very similar to what I feel when I return to or leave my body and astral travel. It wasn’t vibrations, just residual energy and very intense, too.

My heart chakra was also pulling very intensely and the warmth was still radiating out like it was yesterday. I began to hear light language in my mind. It was coming through me and I could hear the syllables and intonation. I just allowed it, as it was me mentally saying it. I felt it was an introduction and then a kind of activation sequence. I had an urge to record it, but I was too lazy to get up.  Plus it is all audio and I am not sure yet how to make an audio clip.

As this light language was coming through me, I once again saw the symbol I saw yesterday and started mentally painting it in my head. I kept thinking I needed to paint it, but I’m not very good at painting. With that thought I was receiving instruction on what colors to use and techniques. It was really weird. lol

I kept drifting into the in-between and bringing back information. Most of it is lost to me now but the feeling is still there. I was discussing clearing my “bodies” and I recall seeing layers of me, like frequencies I have been ascending through, or descending depending on how you look at it. I felt that my lower chakras were occupied by a different energy, a different vibration than even a week ago. There was knowing here that this was purposeful – that it had to do with the clearing process.

Dream: Taking the Wheel

I had many dreams that all stayed with me upon waking. In one I was driving a very futuristic type of vehicle. In the dream I refered to it as a “car” but it looked more like the inside of a space craft. There was a long, black dash that was approximately six feet long. I struggled to steer it and was receiving instruction from my deceased grandmother of all people. lol I realized there was a steering wheel at heart level that I was able to activate just by intention. It moved out and connected at chest level. It looked like a horizontal “I” – nothing like a car steering wheel. Once I grabbed hold of the ends, all my steering difficulties vanished and I successfully hovered/flew through various tunnels that were dark and streaked with light. I flew very, very fast.

Dream: Transplantation

I landed my “craft” at a vineyard. I could see row upon row of grape vines. It reminded me of Napa.

My task was to transplant a sapling of some sort. It had been uprooted and was withering quickly. I positioned it among adult grape vines. There was a significance to this that was palpable in the dream. I felt whatever I was doing was a big accomplishment.

Considerations

I know I have not been posting my dreams lately, but I wanted to share these two because they go along with how I felt when I awoke. I felt very different when I woke up – as if my vibration shifted dramatically in the night or something. There was a silent conversation between myself and my Team – streaming in through my heart chakra. I felt a significant shift had taken place. My Team was new to go along with the “new” me. I knew they would be helping me from now on.

There was also a feeling that I was transferred (like the sapling) into this body; trying it on or getting a feel for it. Acclimating. I believe, and I know it sounds crazy, that the craft in my dream symbolizes this change. This is very much connected to the K energy I had a few days ago in the lower chakras and heart chakra. There was a connection made, like roots into the ground except that it was a higher aspect taking root and establishing a solid foundation. I still feel like me, just different. It is hard to explain.

 

 

 

 

 

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Hybrid Child

This particular upgrade has been uniquely different for me. This morning I am experiencing a similar sensation to May, 2015. With it I am also having chakra activations throughout my body that re-stimulate emotions that I normally would not be feeling. I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, my throat tightens, my heart pulls causing an anxious feeling, my head feels weird, the areas on either side of my nose are buzzing, and my arms are tingling like I put icy hot on them. Yet at the same time there is a feeling of not being alone and that there are messages that need to be passed on. I also keep feeling like I am going to zone out or pass out.

Hybrid Child

I wanted to share with you part of the information I received in my dreams last night. In one dream I met with my “child”. I picked him out from a set of photographs because I recognized him and saw myself in him. When we met he was taller than me, approximately 5’8″. He acknowledged me as his mother but he did not know who his father was. I did not know either but I could see myself in him and kept touching his face in awe. He was approximately 17-18 years old and he looked very much like a mulatto – very light skin and dark, frizzy hair. His eyes were vivid green, though. He was absolutely beautiful!

We met inside a small room. In my dream it was my old bathroom from when I was growing up. lol He and I conversed for some time. He told me, “I’m still growing. I will eventually be over 6 feet tall.” He specifically said he would end up being 6’2″. I remember being very proud of him and I just could not stop touching his face. He looked completely human to me, yet I knew he was a hybrid – all of the “children” I saw in the photos were hybrids.

There was discussion then about this age group being overly sensitive to changes in the environment, changes in energy, and any upset to the chemical balance in their bodies. There was emphasis on their need to maintain balance in their bodies because they hold such a high vibration and need to maintain this vibration. I got the feeling they were already here on Earth – living alongside us, looking just like us. It blew my mind!

A Hybridization Program?

When I awoke I immediately wanted to know if I had been part of the hybrid program. Why else would I see my “son” and know he was a hybrid? This was when I was told I am part of the “work” They are doing. This work is of the genetic kind. I had no doubt then that my DNA had been used in the creation of hybrid children. Perhaps this beautiful boy I met was indeed a part of me?

What was really surprising to me is that these children are already among us! How it is possible that my DNA would be used to do this without me actually being pregnant and giving birth is beyond me. I suspect it is spliced into the DNA of the child prior to birth, at the very beginning around conception. Did my DNA get substituted in for the mother’s? Or were just pieces of it inserted somehow? I just don’t fully understand how this beautiful boy could be my son. It blows my mind! The love I felt for him was genuine. I loved him like I love my other children.

All this time my heart is blazing and I have this strange energy settling over me that makes me feel something big is about to happen. I am strangely excited/anxious for it to happen, too.

 

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The Fragmented Self

There was much behind-the-scenes work going on last night, not just for me but many others. We are preparing for the ultimate shift, one in which we will be completely transformed. How many are going through this? I am unsure. All I know now is that my soul group are all going through this together. Some are a bit slower than others, but we are all transforming and at lightning speed, too.

I received a clearer understanding of my particular situation. I just woke up knowing it. My transformation is best termed a “walk-in” but the meaning of this was clarified for me (thank goodness!).

I am integrating a higher aspect. This kind of walk-in is very common and usually temporary. However, I feel my particular case is more permanent as there will be a complete exchange of one aspect (the old) with the other (the new). Currently I am “shedding” the layers that compose the “old” me. I have been asked to return to my past – to review memories, journals, etc. If you wish to follow this life review, you can visit my YouTube channel as I am making videos of what I find along the way.

I realized that this is part of the shedding process. A life review of sorts, preparing me for the exchange. It involves more healing and letting go. It is getting easier as I progress, too. I have been doing this healing for a  very, very long time.

The Fragmented Self

A memory from long ago surfaced this morning. I had previously been told by my Companion that I was “fragmented” and later referred to this as my “Fragmented Self”. Essentially, when life gets tough – the tough run and hide (lol) – or at least I do. When there is trauma, a part of Us splits off. This is coping mechanism and very well known in psychology. It was explained to me that I have to retrieve these fragments in order to become Whole. Some call this soul retrieval. I just call it hard work. lol

 I wrote about it in my blog on July 26, 2011. Here is what I wrote:

At some point, a part of me fragmented away from my self in order to create a me that would survive in this body and do well in life. Unfortunately, the memory of that event is strung out over many years [and lifetimes] and it will take time to regain. But with that memory will come clarity. The clarity is the de-fragmentation of my self. I have already felt the  beginnings of it. Tiny moments of complete and utter calmness and knowingness. It is beautiful. And I intend to get to the point where that calmness and clarity will stay. I intend to reunite myself with myself. I think I am on the right path, too.

All this time I have been retrieving fragments. All this time I have been healing a gaping wound that I have carried with me life after life.

I have experienced the return of these fragments over time. At first I just noticed something was “different” but in recent years I have actually felt these fragments return. These fragments are parts of me on other paths as well – my multidimensional aspects. They shattered and went other directions, into a different “times” or dimension. All of this also involves the collapsing of timelines. It is like all of who I thought I was, who I could be and who I am, is coalescing. As I get more parts, as the pieces come together, I begin to Remember more and this snowballs and more and more parts are returned to Me. It is really a beautiful thing.

Rebirth

In my dreams last night I was preparing for my rebirth. There was much discussion on what was coming. Unfortunately, I recall that the present personality that is in charge was not made fully aware. Thus, I was “sleeping” through much of the conversation. I recall snuggling up inside a sleeping bag while my “class” got on a bus to go on a field trip. There were moments when I tried very hard to wake myself up but the heaviness of sleep kept beckoning and I would ultimately give into it. It was during this “sleep” that the majority of the conversations (negotiations) were taking place. I am told that this is for my own protection as I am not yet ready to fully participate.

Every day I feel a little more of the new me and little less of the old me.

There is a feeling of anticipation along with fear with all of this. Who will I be when this is all over and done with? Also, what do I do then? What will my path be? So many questions arise. Yet at the same time I know that this exchange is ultimately the whole reason for this life and the ones leading up to it. I will be reborn into wholeness.

 

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Lucid Group Meeting

Yesterday’s energies really hit me hard last night. I took a hot bath with Lavender essential oil and then tried to sleep but was wide awake. My ears began to ring intensely at this time. This was one of those ear ringing episodes where it felt like pressure inside my head and the sound kept getting louder and then softer, louder, softer. This went on for the longest I have ever experienced ear ringing and my third-eye was intensely pulling. I quieted my mind and tried to focus on the ringing and that caused my crown to start to pull with energy as well. At this point it had mostly been my left ear but then my right ear started to ring as well and the sounds joined in the center of my mind. It was like they were located just behind my nose area. I could see a pyramid shape from my eyes and nose to this singular point in the middle of my brain. The sounds were of multiple pitches and it was extraordinary!

I am told I am perceiving frequency fluctuations within my energy body. This was first told to me in the middle of the day yesterday by on of my Team members. I had noticed his voice was very distorted and low. It was like one of those voice distorting devices used on cop shows. I had heard this before, years ago while OOB and it had totally freaked me out because I had thought it was a “bad” thing, like a “demon” (how naive). After this, I continued to hear his voice in my mind in this way. So, apparently these intense shifts in vibration/frequency this time around are really impacting my perceptions!

Lucid Group Meeting

I slept very hard and had numerous dreams.Rather than go into the dreams, I will continue to look behind the dream at what was really going on. My guidance is telling me this is the best way to look at my dreams now.

After waking at around 1am I asked to project. I felt this was denied but didn’t care and went back to sleep.

I found myself attending a gathering of “family”. I remember there being 7 of us but more were on their way. The locations was a very beautiful estate out in a secluded area. The house itself was reminiscent of a place I had seen on a trip to L.A. as was the grounds on which it was located. Everything was green and pristine.

I went up to a group who was standing on the veranda that overlooked rolling hills and a large swimming pool. We were discussing the year 1989 (why does this year keep coming up!?). In the dream, someone had gone missing around this time and we were talking about him. We talked about him as if he were my father. I thought of all the people I was with as my “brothers and sisters”.

This is when I met a young man whom I referred to as my “step-brother”. He appeared younger than I with long, curly dark blonde hair. The hair style he was wearing was like something out of the 70’s disco era. lol When we met we exchanged information automatically. It was like I had his whole life story in my head!

He told me he was born in 1962 (why did he look so young then!?) and was very proud of a car he owned – now an antique. A Ford something or rather, I think a Mustang. I remember knowing that most of my “group” came into bodies before me. I had been delayed because I had to abort my last life in 1971 (so I had been born in the 60s). Most of my group, then, are in their late 40’s to early 60’s. Makes me feel a bit left behind. lol

At this time another member of my group made herself known. She was an Asian woman with long black hair who also appeared young. I didn’t get info from her like I did the man, but she did show me part of her life. She had been to China or lived there and was “of service” to others. She was drinking a cup of tea when we were talking. It was in a small, porcelain cup.

Then my attention was focused back on the man who seemed genuinely interested in “catching up”. He showed me that he had gone through a tough time with his Earth family. Someone had died and not left a will and there was conflict in the family because of this. It felt like a really negative situation. I felt bad for him.

Then he embraced me and, since I felt I had known him forever, I embraced him back. I was very lucid at this point and remember that he wanted more than just a hug. It was like he was asking for permission to be more than just a brother to me. Kind of weird! But then I was open to this. Talk about incest! LOL

We kissed and I reached around and put my hands up under his shirt and embraced him. I could feel everything as if I was in the physical. I felt his shoulders and back and I could feel his lips and tongue as we kissed. I was fully into all of it, too, without any concern about cheating on my husband. It was really nice and so perfectly real!

We made out for a long time it seemed and I had no sexual urges turn on. My heart, however, was blazing intensely. This intensity is what ultimately woke me up. As I awoke I could still feel him and taste his lips. I did not want to wake up.

Soul Family

When I awoke I asked the guide who was present, “Who was he? Is he in a physical body?” I heard the name “David” and knew he was in a physical body right now. I was told that most of my group are in bodies presently.

I was then reminded that I had been told They were going to help me with my reaction to “family” so that I would not be overwhelmed (like I was in yesterday’s K experience). I realized that this lucid dream was exactly that. I felt a similar attraction to this man but I did not feel overwhelmed. There was no repulsion whatsoever. I felt connected to him – as if we were two branches of the same tree. There was a wholeness present – a feeling that his experiences were mine and mine were his. I specifically remember feeling that he was a brother to me. This is not the first time I have felt such a connection.

I was reminded of the ReUnion message I got not long ago. There was Knowing that we were all going to come together and I had to be ready for this. “Ready” in this particular instance means I need to not overreact because many recognitions and feelings will arise for all involved. I have little concern if the reUnion is similar to this dream. However, if it is like the previous night’s dream I think I would pass out from such a meeting. LOL

I also thought about the message I got that this summer was going to be “hot”. It appears that I am already heading down that road. If I keep having dreams like this one it is likely I will be one hot and bothered woman by this summer. hahaha!

 

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777

Believe-it-or-not, after this morning’s Kundalini rising experience, I was able to return to sleep.

Dream: Super Car

In this dream I was putting my baby into the backseat of my car and my brother-in-law commented on it. He said, “That looks like a super fast car.” I shut the door and looked at it, noting that it has all these spoilers and strange rocket boosters on it. I said, “Where did those come from?” After inspection I said, “Oh, those will go away once I start driving.”

Then I was at a small building where some teachers worked. It was all run down and they were asking if I could take the place of a woman who was retiring. I thought about it and then said, “I would rather have a part-time job and one that was more laid back. This one seems pretty stressful.” The woman who was leaving the job asked, “Have you ever had a c-section?” I didn’t know how it applied to our conversation but I answered, “Yes.” She said, “I’ve had 52 of them”. I was shocked and said, “You had 52 babies!?” She laughed and said, “No, I’ve performed 52 surgeries.” (52; 5+2=7)

Then I somehow fell asleep next to one of the students. When I awoke everyone was gathered in a small room. I told them I didn’t want the job and needed to go and then I was standing in a parking lot. I couldn’t find my car and was looking around for it. I found it down the street and got inside. It drove itself and talked to me (reminded me of the show Knight Rider one of my all-time favs lol). I remember that it was dark and then suddenly light as we sped down a narrow road.

777

I awoke suddenly and in my visual field saw very clearly: 777.

The dream I had made me feel good for some reason. I have dreams of cars all the time. The car symbolizes, for me at least, my life path. It is important to note the condition of the car and who is driving and how I feel when in the car. In this particular dream the car is all souped-up with spoilers, chrome exhaust, racing stripes, etc. It was my car only really, really nice. lol When inside of it I felt powerful and was not afraid. The car also went very, very fast and though I was behind the wheel, I felt not to be the one driving it. It is interesting that it spoke to me, too. Based upon all the indicators, it looks like my path is being propelled forward by an unseen force, one that is comfortable to me and with whom I feel I can communicate.

The 777 is also a good omen. Looks like my spiritual path is on the fast track and it is going well. 🙂

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Lucid Dream: Raising the Dead (Kundalini)

The energy shifted yesterday afternoon putting me in a not-so-good mood. I went to bed very grumpy and snapping at my kids. I also had problems with focusing on more than one thing. For example, while driving, my son was jabbering away about something – very happy – and I struggled to focus on driving and him at the same time. I felt on the edge of losing it and my eyes would not focus well either. It was really weird!

At bedtime I had a glass of wine to settle my nerves. I knew another energetic surge was coming.

Lucid Dream: Raising the Dead

I was inside a large, open house laying in a bed. To my left was a very ornate coffin with the lid closed. A woman, the caretaker I presume, walked past preparing to shut down for the night. I was uncomfortable with sleeping next to the coffin. I swear I saw it shake and kept wanting to open the lid.

I told the woman, “I can’t sleep next to a coffin. Is there somewhere else I can sleep?” She said, “Certainly. You can sleep over there.” She pointed to an adjacent room. I saw a nicely made bed with yellow covers and feminine design.

I went to the new bedroom but noticed there was no wall between the rooms which meant I was still sleeping next to the coffin! I saw the foot of the coffin was very close to the bed and again I thought I saw it shift like someone was alive inside! This totally creeped me out.

I went to the restroom to get ready for bed. As I was sitting on the toilet a very large black man opened the door. I tried to hide myself (I was totally naked) but couldn’t completely. The man reacted with surprise and then did not leave but just stared at me. I got a weird feeling when this happened.

He approached me and I froze. I was overcome with mixed emotions. On one hand I was completely drawn to him, on the other I was terrified. He was the complete opposite of the type of man I would be interested in yet a part of me was drawn to him for that exact reason. He was very large – at least 6’5″, and bulging with muscles. He was also either naked or close to it. I just remember seeing his upper half and face. Just being next to him made me feel very, very small.

The closer he got to me the more emotion I felt. It was that split feeling all over again! I felt the repulsion/attraction and began to think, “I can’t do this. I’m married!” Eventually I started saying this out loud, as if saying it would somehow fix everything.

This is when I became lucid. At this point he was face to face with me and I was squirming while also not able to move. I felt paralyzed! All of my lower chakras were blazing and I was overcome with the most intense desire I have ever felt and it was not letting up – it was escalating! The energy was moving up, up, up and my heart was catching fire. I had no idea what to do. I was completely caught up in the desirous feeling while also screaming out, “I can’t! I’m married!!” over and over. I laugh thinking about it now but at the time I was totally freaking out.

I remembered being instructed to focus on my heart when I was feeling fear so I tried that. Problem was that my heart was caught up in this desirous fire that was enveloping me. I don’t recall thinking about that, though. My only thoughts were that I was being unfaithful. At the same time I was trying to convince myself that it was okay and my husband would never know (LOL!).

So what did I do? I threw out both of my hands and began to focus on the palms of my hands. I could barely do this, though, because the man had completely embraced me and we were wrapped around each other – braided into one another! We were completely blending, braiding, into one another.White and black. Black and white. Like Yin and Yang.

The last thing I remember is seeing that both of my palms had vortexes of energy spiraling in them. They looked like they contained tiny, rotating galaxies! I could see the sparkling stars swirling in them!

2000px-Yin_yang.svgAfterward

The spirals in my palms woke me up. When I awoke the energy was still coursing through my lower three chakras and my heart was settling down. I literally woke up squirming. The energy was so intense that my body was involuntarily jerking and swaying back and forth. I yelled out, “I want to go back!” This surprised me. WTF? Here I had been both terrified and electrified and wanted more? Hahaha

The energy began to settle after a bit. My heart continued to pull with energy, though.

I wondered why I keep resisting. What was I afraid of? This is not the first time I have reacted in such a way to the advances of a “man” in my dreams. Something about the energy rising terrifies me. With my wondering came memories. Past life memories.

The one that was most pronounced was from a life when I had been a child slave in the U.S. I was about 12 years old and a group of white men gang raped me. As each would take their turn they would place a wood plank over my throat to keep me from screaming out. My windpipe was crushed. I almost died but I didn’t.

The other memory was of being hung in the Middle Ages. I had been male and caught fornicating.

My throat chakra began to blaze when these memories hit me. I heard from one of my guides, “These memories/lives will clear.” Okay.

I looked at the clock and it was 3:30am. I spent the next hour or so thinking about the experience and the symbolism. The coffin was especially interesting to me. I was scared of it. I think it was me inside the coffin. Part of me feels “dead” and I believe the entire experience was meant to get me to realize that I am literally being born again.

I also wonder – what will happen if I don’t resist the raising of this energy? It was so unbearably intense. So intense that I felt I would die from it but at the same time I felt that I would experience something akin to breaking into a million pieces of me or expanding into a million pieces of me. This would bring an ecstasy beyond words. Wow.

God help me.

 

 

 

 

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Mid-Life Crisis?

The energy yesterday was so calm and nice wasn’t it? Or maybe it was just me acclimating to the “upgrade” I received that morning. Not really sure upgrade is the right term, but who knows. Something happened that was intense and significant and left me in a brain fog calm most of the day.

Last night I had dreams all night long and I remembered them. Not only that, but when I awoke in the middle of the night I returned to the dreams as soon as I fell back to sleep. Pretty cool except that the dreams were not very interesting.

When I awoke at 5:30am (I did check the clock this time) I was in tears. Sigh. Really? Come on! I am so done with this crying crap! Ugh!

Anyway, here is what was going on in my sleep.

Class: Creating Dreams

This was not the actual dream. I don’t remember the dream now as it is not important. What I do remember is that after the dream and while still in the dreamstate, I was aware of being with a group of familiar lucid dreamers and astral projectors. I know them all from online, but have not met any of them in person (yet). We were discussing how to create dreams. I can’t remember the exact conversation now but when I awoke I knew that I had been in a class about how to stage dreams for the human consciousness so that they addressed certain issues. In this particular class we were learning how to do this for our own waking consciousness. Wow.

I remember we “selected appropriate symbols”, symbols that our waking consciousness would recognize. Some are universal symbols but most are not. Most are symbols we, ourselves, attribute significance and meaning to. We use this collection of symbols to construct our dreams and communicate with ourselves. It is fascinating!

This is also done to communicate with others. We can do this while still in life or while in between lives. We access others’ symbols and use them to communicate via the dreamstate. I knew about this because my father and other relatives have done this with me both in lucid states and during projection.

Mid-life Crisis?

The rest of my dreams fit together like a story. I recall being with my sisters, much younger than today, and catching a school bus. I also remember seeing a young girl who had hurt her left ankle and was calling for help. I assisted her, putting her ankle on ice. Then she transformed into a chubby infant. I played with her and cuddled with her, talking to her in baby talk and just filled with love for her.

It was while I was playing with this baby girl that I said to her, “I can’t have anymore babies.” This caused me to fill with such an intense sadness and I burst into tears.

When I awoke one of my guides was with me. I immediately checked his appearance and he looked human (relief lol). I didn’t ask which one he was. I didn’t care. I was still too upset and confused over the dream.

I realized that I was grieving a loss of my youth. I suddenly felt very old and the saying, “Youth is wasted on the young” popped into my head.

It seemed very much like I had wasted my life, my youth.

I wondered then if I was entering into a mid-life crisis. Perhaps that is why I have been feeling so split – one part of me wants to leave everything I have behind and begin anew and the other wants to stay right where I am so that I don’t hurt anyone. I feel young, yet when I look in the mirror I don’t recognize myself. I look tired and beaten down by life compared to when I was in my 20’s. And when I consider making the drastic changes to my life that I feel the urge to make, I think my age will ruin it all; that I will run out of time, out of energy, out of physical attractiveness.

He’s My Mirror

Then I realized that the very feelings I had for my Companion yesterday morning – the combined intense attraction and repulsion – I also have for myself. I love who I have become on the inside – as a person – but when I look at my outside (physical body/ life) I don’t like what I see. Now these feelings are much less intense than what they were yesterday, but I can see it – feel it – just the same. It is like when I felt him, I felt myself.

Karmic Attachments

Then I saw the patterns, karmic patterns, and was confused. In my past lives, I have been in this situation before. I had made both choice options available to me now. So which is the karmic path I am to avoid? Then I was reminded that karma is not a path, it is attachment to a certain path or decision. The attachment is formed by beliefs we have about what is “right” and what is “wrong”. Karma allows us to sort through these beliefs and release ourselves from them. It really doesn’t matter what decision I make – the “selfish” one or the “right” one. What matters is that I release myself from the judgments I place on myself. If I can make a decision and be fully secure in that decision and not judge myself for it, then I can detach from it and thus break the karmic cycle.

I asked why I was being shown all of this. I was told, “We love you. We want you to be happy.” But be happy at what cost? This is where I am currently stuck. Mid-life sucks.

Lot’s to digest. Not sure I can not judge myself. Man this is hard.