Energy Grid

Yesterday I decided that I will not stay at my current job. I am done accepting situations that I do not agree with or that are not ideal in my world. My job is not bad but the system that created it is. I wish to disconnect myself from a system that suppresses individuals.

As I went to sleep last night I asked to received assistance in determining my next course of action. I accept the feelings I have been having about my career and know what I don’t want in my life more now than ever. But what do I want? I understand that part of the process of learning what one wants is to experience enough of life to know what they don’t want. I am comfortable with the process now more than ever. I am told I will be shown what is next and I felt the truth of it so strong that I was overcome with tears. I know it will be that way and I am fully accepting of whatever is next on my agenda.

Energy Grid

Like so many nights since the birth of my son, I fell asleep while meditating. I was awakened by my son’s cries and got up to help my husband tend to him. When I lay back down I could not remember what I had been dreaming about. When I searched my memory I got a very strong impression that has me wondering about its significance.

I experienced myself as both in my body on the bed and outside my body as an observer. There was a male entity in the room who was dark and fluid in his movements. I did not sense anything negative about him.

This man moved from one side of my physical body to the other very quickly. He did not go around but over my body and as he did he wove what I can only describe as an energy web across my body. It was white and shimmery like a spider’s web with dew on it, yet it looked like a net more than a web made up of identical square boxes. When I questioned what it was, I heard “grid”.

The color of this grid changed from white to green and it reminded me of a security blanket of some sort. I am not sure what its purpose is but I felt very strongly at the time that it was meant to keep me in my body for a certain amount of time.

Butchering Hogs

Last night was a night of odd and disturbing dreams.

Hemorrhagic Fever

I was on a school bus with a group of people. It was stopped suddenly and we were stranded for a long time. I believe for a number of months. As I waited on the bus I saw people get ill one by one. Vividly I saw them bleed out of their eyes, nose, mouth and ears. Some were vomiting blood.

I watched in horror as they died one by one. I did not get sick.

A year passed and the world was in disarray. I hid out in water, going under the surface whenever someone approached. I had left the bus and the death behind me and stayed in the safety of the water, using it to move from place to place. I recall being in the otter exhibit at the local zoo, noting that the water was now unclear.

When I awoke I felt this dream to be an omen of things to come and struggled to free myself of the dream and come back into reality after waking.

Butchering Hogs

I found myself in a field walking toward a large, white mansion with pillars. It was so large that I actually felt it was not of this Earth as it rose high into the sky like a skyscraper.

On the porch of the mansion there were people gathered and food was set out. Discussion was going on about a hog that would be butchered soon in front of all. I was concerned about this and did not want to be there when it happened. They said they were going to slice it first horizontally and then vertically. I asked, “Aren’t you just going to slit its throat”. They said, “No”. This horrified me for I knew it would suffer. As they brought out the large, pink animal I set off across the field to get as far away from it as possible.

As I walked I put my hands over my ears but could still hear the screaming of the animal. It sounded like a human and I shivered.

I came upon a man who was also walking away. He had a pig of his own and I related to him. I heard someone tell him, “If you leave now you can save your pig”.

Then the dream shifted and I was inside another building that resembled a hospital lab. Very thin specimen sheets had been cut of the pig and were being given to me. I held in front of me this paper thin part of the mid-section of “my” pig.

I watched as a woman and her daughter were given their pig in big chunks to be eaten. Then I gathered up the chunks of my own pig and prepared to cook it. I gave half of the pig to charity, though, saying I wanted it to “do some good for someone else”.

I put the pig on a set table along with other food items. It was very obvious that half the pig “pie” was missing. The people who had been at the mansion came to visit and I allowed them to join me, giving them some fried chicken. It felt as if I had made peace with them. I never ate the pig.

Note: Although I called it a “pig” in the dream, it was very obviously a “hog” as it was as large as a small horse!

Hogs symbolize abundance and can also indicate one is “hogging” everything. I believe this is true for my dream as I gave half of my “abundance” to charity.

Avatar

My eventful night continued after the dreams of going to college.

Avatar

I found myself again semi-lucid and walking through the streets of Hollywood with a man. We stopped at a night club and he pointed out a well known actor, wanting to stop and take a picture with him. I suggest he not do that and when I did the actor turned and began to urinate on the side of the building. He was clearly drunk.

We went inside and the nightclub was pretty full. The lights were purple and in front of us sitting on the floor were two half-naked dancers chained to the bar. I looked around and saw large screens playing videos of light shows and some of what appeared to be video games. I went over and picked up a game control to investigate.

The next thing I know I am transported from the nightclub scene into a new, aqua-green world. I enter into a body and begin flying and exploring this new world. It reminded me of the movie Avatar. The experience was clearly an OBE but I was not fully lucid and most of it is lost to me now. The most memorable is the blue-green water and waterfalls that were in abundance on this world.

Healing

I awoke to buzzing energy in my body that jumped from one chakra to the other. The energy was constant around the crown of my head and I was very aware that I was receiving healing. I felt very calm and relaxed and lay there for some time just enjoying the energy as it flowed through me.

When the buzzing stopped I fell back to sleep and into a dream with my husband. My root chakra was excessively active and I kept trying to initiate sex with my husband but we kept being interrupted by our children. I awoke to buzzing in my root chakra. I tried to will the energy upward, hoping for the amazing total body orgasm that sometimes follows. I then heard my guide say to me, “Not yet. You cannot force it”. I wondered when and heard, “In two days”.

I fell back to sleep and awoke late in the morning. I immediately thanked my guide for I knew so much had been accomplished in my sleep and I was so very grateful. I heard him respond, “You’re welcome” and laughed. I could still feel the energy around the back and top of my head and recalled the message from during the night. My guide responded to my thought, “In one day”. I was confused at first and then realized that it was a new day so the message had been altered.

I wonder what Tuesday will bring?

Three Classes

The dreams about going to college continued last night.

History Class

I purposefully arrived to class early and parked my car outside the college on a hillside. I walked into the large auditorium where class was to be held and took a seat near the back. Then a guest speaker, a dark haired woman, began to speak and it was hard to hear, so I followed everyone else to the front.

The woman’s lecture was on Aristotle and she was quoting him. I recall being intrigued by this but I don’t remember the exact information now. I only recall that I had spoken to a man near me remarking that I had missed many days of class and was trying to make up for the lost time. I was not concerned about it because I knew the subject well.

Algebra Class

I then found myself inside a brightly lit classroom with other students. It resembled a high school classroom but the students were older. I sat down and heard a discussion between other students about an upcoming project. They were suppose to make a 3D model of a star. I was not concerned about it and again told them that I had missed many days. In fact, this was only my second time in class and it had been going on for some time. I decided to take good notes and use the textbook to review the material I had missed. I was certain I would do fine. I am good at math.

Math Class

Oddly, the scene shifted from the brightly lit classroom to a dark, golden colored room with warm browns and golds. It felt to be in a university and I was with a small ground of students. Although it was a math class what we were doing was not math at all. In fact, it was art!

The teacher, a dark haired woman who was very soft spoken and artsy (she reminded me of a yoga instructor), handed out these plastic paint trays with three, round, fist-sized depressions. There was also paint and this white, powdery material that sparkled like crystal. She instructed us to begin to transfer paint into the depressions. I recall the color was suppose to be blue, but when I took my paintbrush and put it first into the white powder and then the paint the color that resulted was a beautiful lavender color. I was told not to worry and to try again. So I did and the result was blue.

I now had two sections filled, one blue and one lavender. The third was a vivid, dark purple.

I became semi-lucid at this point, suddenly recognizing that what I was doing involved the upper three chakras – the throat, third eye and crown. The feeling of the dream was that I was being instructed on how to work with these chakras and what to expect when they are activated. There was also a distinct memory of recognizing that all of the colors came from the white, crystal powder. In this I realized that the chakras were all parts of me specifically separated in order to control and operate the physical body.

I awoke soon after to my crown chakra and left ear buzzing with energy. The message was clear: the next stage would not just involve one chakra, but three.

Test Fail

I have been having dreams about tests again.

The night before last I had a dream where I was in a classroom holding a stack of tests. I put my name on the test and was told that it was not time so I erased it. What was weird is that I could see a previously erased name in the same place where I had written my name. The message appears to be that I am either resistant or not ready for the “test” and that this is not uncommon.

Test Fail

Last night I dreamed of being inside a school. The hallways were narrow and brown in color and there were students coming and going. I was walking one way towards class and kept forgetting where I was going. I was also preoccupied with my cell phone because I had turned it on and it had malfunctioned. The malfunction was that there were ten times the number of icons on the screen than normal, most of which I was not familiar with. I could not find the text icon and when I did I got a list of other icons with it. It was very confusing. I showed the phone to a classmate, a tall, dark haired woman sitting by me. She said that I must have spilled something on the phone to cause it and that she could fix it for me. She handed me the phone and it had some moisture on the screen. For some reason her comment insulted me and I told her, “Never mind. I will figure it out for myself”.

In the hall a professor walked by me. He stopped me, waving a packet of paper in my face. He was my height with gray hair and I remember feeling nervous around him. He said, “It’s not looking good” in reference to how I had done so far on the test. He had not yet finished grading it, though.

I went to the classroom of this professor and waited outside the door. While I waited I glimpsed my reflection in a display and saw my hair was shorter than normal. Then I saw a list of classes posted. I began to read them to myself and noticed they were not classes I had ever taken before. The first one was, “Mechanisms of Micromanagement”. I read through the others on the list but cannot remember them all now. I do recall that they all had one thing in common – socialization and communication. I decided I should write the classes down because they were important. As I began writing down the first class I suddenly realized I was late for class. Reluctant to leave the list behind I went to the class and walked in as the professor was beginning to teach. The class was The History of Western Civilization and I had taken it before.

Interpretation

These dreams indicate to me that I am going through some remedial work to prepare me for the next kundalini event. Perhaps I am needing a “review” of lessons previously learned. Considering the resistance I encountered during the most recent kundalni event, I suspect I am being allowed to prepare myself for the upcoming changes. Plus, I am in a period of transition and being it was my heart that was activated this last time the transition may be a bit bumpy.

The phone in the dream indicates communication is coming into play as well. Perhaps I am learning how to communicate my feelings? I have been struggling with communicating emotionally charged topics. Plus, I have a meeting at work on Monday with my supervisor for reasons unknown. Unknown meetings with a supervisor always stress me out and I worry about what I have done wrong. I have had many instances in the past where I have cried in front of supervisors, unable to control my emotion. It makes me feel stupid and weak and I hope that I do not have such an incident again.

Tooth Alignment

I slept deeply again last night. I am hoping this pattern continues as I am needing this break from OBEs, kundalini, and guide communication. It can get to be a little too much (never thought I would say that!).

My dreams are few and far between. Last night I had two I recall.

School Video

In this dream I returned to the old, 1920s era gym that was at my middle school growing up. There was a crowd there who were my classmates grown up. I was watching a video a classmate was showing the group. In it I saw myself from around 5th grade and it was clear as day. I remarked, “Mine (video) is blurry”.

The group was then playing volleyball together in the gym but I stayed on the sidelines saying, “I am not good at team sports”. The ball went into the gym once and I would not go in. I said, “You know it is haunted?”

As I was leaving a woman was freaking out in the parking lot. I saw her run away from a woman with short, gray-blonde hair who looked shocked. I instinctively knew the older woman had told the other woman something disturbing. I told the older woman, “You can’t just go up and tell people what you know/hear from Spirit. Some people can’t handle it.”

Tooth Alignment

This dream was strange in that I was at a dentist’s office but was not getting a procedure. Instead my teeth and mouth were being inspected by two dentists. One I never saw but knew was the primary one and the other was dark haired and the secondary dentist or partner. They were talking to me about aligning my teeth and I told them I didn’t want it done. I was pleasant about it and not concerned and neither were they. They inspected my teeth and told me about the procedure and how it was painless. I recall seeing in my mind the teeth being gently moved, like braces would do.

The dark haired doctor brought in a woman and her mother. I said, “Oh so since I am so easy you are going to work on someone else while I’m here?” I got the feeling they did not want to waste time but now I think they wanted me to see the procedure done on a willing patient.

The woman was my age and looked like she was from India – honey brown hair and skin almost the exact color of her hair. Her face was flawless and I remember looking really closely at her and hearing how she had the procedure done often. She was relaxed and her eyes closed, though she did take a peek at me.

When I was ready to leave the second dentist was asking me about my next appointment. He said he would be my doctor and said it would be $80. I said, “Well do you take insurance?” He indicated he did not and I said, “Well then I probably won’t come”. He appeared disappointed.

Interpretation

I awoke one time to my entire body shaking/vibrating but did not think much of it. I suspect I was OOB with my guides during these dreams, so that makes sense. The first dream is likely me discussing my past. Since the gym is haunted it could be there are some issues still related to school to work through.

The second dream is more interesting to me. I believe I was discussing whatever my next step is with my guides. Some kind of “alignment”. I am being stubborn about it and refusing and they are trying to convince me to do it. I am introduced to a different “doctor” as well. I was not distressed about it and my overall feeling is I just need a break right now so am waiting.

Corpse in a Courtroom

I am still recovering from yesterday and the night before. The energy wave has subsided but I am still processing it. I am also doing quite a bit of work in my sleep. Last night I slept like a rock and the few dreams I recall were eye opening.

Corpse in a Courtroom

I was watching men walking around in a courtroom discussing a woman’s death. Her naked body was laid across the defendant’s table. Her skin was pale and there were large blotches of red where her blood had settled. I watched as a man turned her head and allowed it to fall over to the side. I was intent on seeing her face and saw she was blonde and pretty. I now wonder, was she me? Then, to my surprise, she moved. Was she still alive?

They discussed the girl’s diary and the image shifted. I was then in front of a book, her diary, turning page after page. I saw her life, written out. Her despair and her joy. I stopped on a page where she wrote about the birth of her daughter. There were hearts pasted in it and a picture. I saw in my mind a vibrant, brown haired girl and felt the joy the woman felt. I felt sad for her, though, because the moment was so fleeting. I thought, “If only we could freeze those moments and enjoy them more fully”. With it came an understanding that those moments are the ones we live for.

I then saw page after page of music written out and knew she had fallen in love with music and had tried to write her own. It was a dream that was soon forgotten. This also saddened me as I saw the hopes of her youth crumble in those pages.

The final page I turned opened up into a suitcase and there were a pair of Justin boots. I immediately thought of my ex and knew they were his boots. I then knew he was dead and began discussing what to do with his boots. I knew the size – 11 and someone asked if I was sure it wasn’t a 10 and I said, “No, the smallest size he wore was a 10.5”. I then sorted through other shoes – western boots and tennis shoes.

I awoke regretting my time with my ex and how I did not enjoy those moments. I recognized how caught up I was in my own drama. I built walls around myself and soon found myself trapped in my life. My guide was there assisting me. “You loved him” and “How did you feel?” I recognized that I had felt similarly at other times in my life. He asked, “Why?” and I knew it was because I had not followed my heart. I also immediately said, “I don’t want to do that again (referring to living in Alaska)”. I felt that for some reason I may have to do it again in another life. I think my lesson was not learned. I knew that I had needed to confront the feelings I had rather than run from them. I am doing that now, in my current relationship/life, but I did not with my ex. Perhaps it is an exchange we were working on and it will need to be visited again in another life?

I knew then that the corpse had been me becauseI have often referred to that time as “My other life” because it seems like it happened to someone else. I also knew there was a judgement going on and I was the defendant and the victim.

Kundalini Resistance

I couldn’t sleep last night. My baby has been sick and my husband left town on a business trip. I asked for help from my guides and fell asleep around midnight.

Penthouse Suite

I became semi-lucid in a dream. I was being escorted into a nice hotel room. Inside, the room was very bright white. I felt out of place, though, and nervous. As I was settling in, someone brought by dinner, which I wasn’t expecting. I went to check it out and began taking it out of the containers and putting into smaller ones for my daughter. What is odd is that the food wasn’t food, it was water.

I was interrupted by a knock at the door. I answered it and a woman with blonde hair wearing business attire and high heels came in. She was clearly a hotel representative. She told me she came to check on how I was doing. She saw the mess I had made with the sorting as she took me to one side of the room. It was then that I noticed the entire side of the room was floor to ceiling windows that overlooked a city. The woman put her hand on my shoulder and remarked about the view. I stared out at the city lights in awe.

The woman mentioned the food mess and said, “You should have your assistants take care of that”. I was insulted and said, “What? You think I can afford to pay assistants?” The woman smiled and looked at me. The feeling of our discussion was that I was promoted to the next level and needed to focus on my “work” and let my assistants handle the small stuff.

The woman left and I went back to my daughter and the food (water) sorting. At some point I was hit with an odd sensation that in the dream felt like I had been mildly electrocuted. It alarmed me and I assumed it came from the cell phones and instructed my daughter to turn hers off. I also turned off mine.

A man came into the room at this time. He was tall with dark hair wearing a professional looking suit. He picked up the black phone and turned it on. I freaked out and told him, “Don’t do that”. I was in a panic and overcome with an intense fear.

colors dropplet ripples waterKundalini Resistance

I awoke completely immobilized by intense bolts of energy shooting through my body at multiple locations. The energy was not painful but it was not pleasant and I could not shake the sheer panic I was feeling. I knew what was happening – kundalini – but I was not happy about it and completely resistant for some reason.

The energy was coming in from above and to my right, shooting down my body at an angle and exiting my left side. I felt it in multiple places at once – my shoulders, head, mid-section, hips. The sensation was similar to the pain felt when an exposed nerve is lightly touched. It made me grit my teeth and hold my breath.

With these jolts of energy was the strange new vibration I felt the night before. There were also hypnagogic images flashing intensely in my mind. With each flash there was a new image. They were in black and white and pink but I cannot remember what they were now. At the time I just wanted it all to stop.

When the strange energy subsided I asked what had happened and heard, “You resisted. You changed”. The hypnagogic images continued and I sent a thought, “Go away”. I was then shown a vision of me standing at a door. Right above the door knob was a sparkling, golden line of light that spread across the entire room and through me at my heart center. It appeared like golden glitter suspended in the air. Below and above the light was clear air. I didn’t know what to make of the vision. I wondered why the energy was somewhat painful this time. I heard, “Even the calmest of water will sometimes ripple” and saw an image of a placid lake become choppy with small waves. I fell asleep not long after.

Lesson? Resistance is futile.

Emotional Objectivity

I had difficulty sleeping last night. I kept waking up and then slept very lightly.

Grandmother’s Funeral

I had another vivid dream about my grandmother. This time we were all in her house and her casket was in the middle of the room. I remember calculating the time it had been since December, when she died (which is not true, she died in May). I counted seven months which means it was July, 2015.

The most vivid part of the dream was going into the room where the casket had been and seeing all the boxes and things piled up. I was talking to my mom, the whole time breathing through my mouth as I knew the body had been there some time. I asked her, “Does it smell?” She said, “No”. So I breathed though my nose and it was fine. The closer I got to the place where the casket had been, the more I began to smell the smell of rotting flesh. I commented on it and my Mom said, “It does not smell!” very obviously irritated. The smell was very real to me and I can still smell it! Gross!

Then I was sorting through a freezer and my grandmother was there. I remember seeing her and thinking it odd that she was there but that it was as it should be since it was her stuff.

I awoke suddenly to hypnagogic imagery and buzzing energy all over my body. In the imagery I saw trees, a garden, pathways. But soon just fell asleep only to wake several more times and get very little sleep.

Emotional Objectivity

Although I do not recall my other dreams, I do recall what was being worked on. I awoke feeling unable to accomplish the goal which was emotional balance and objectivity. Basically, I was being taught how to have emotion without being the effect of the emotion. I was stating very firmly my opinion that doing this would be an injustice to my life experience. Emotional up’s and down’s are what make life interesting and fun, right? However, I know that I will not proceed to the next level without mastering emotional objectivity. It seems so impossible!

It is okay to have emotion but it is not okay to let your emotion control your experiences. As a life experiencer, we choose to come to Earth to master life and one of the biggest challenges is emotional objectivity. While out of the body we have no problem doing this but while in it, well we often get caught up in our emotion. I was being taught last night how to better control my emotional reactions. I can do it if I try hard, but it is one of those things that takes lots of effort in the beginning and it is so much easier to fall back into old habits. I am trying, though.

Cassiopeia

I was awakened from a particularly odd and intensely vivid experience last night. I was semi-lucid to lucid during the experience, which made it that much more intense, but I do not recall the sensation of leaving the body.

Cassiopeia

When I first became aware of being in this dream experience, I was with a guide who I could not see but could hear clearly. The guide felt male to me and was asking a female who was with me to point out her star in the sky. She pointed upward and the entire scene shifted in a circular motion, as if we were rotated in some way. Above us the entire night sky opened up and a bright star was located, focused upon and then magnified. I got extremely excited at this time but do not recall what we talked about regarding this star. I knew it represented a planet, though, as the image when magnified was of a planet and not a star. I do not remember now what the planet looked like.

The male guide who was with us then asked me, “Where is your star?” I eagerly pointed to the opposite side of the woman’s star. It was low on the horizon and very bright. “There”, I said.

Again, the entire scene around us shifted with us in it. I felt to be in some kind of circular craft or ship but could not identify it as such. However, I could see the massive image of a planet behind me. I assumed it to be Earth as it was full of blues and greens like Earth. It was just behind me in my peripheral vision and I knew then that I was not on this planet but above it actually in the night sky!

I focused on the night sky and saw my star/planet. I was very happy that we were focusing upon it. As I watched, the planet became magnified to the point that I was actually standing on it. The woman who was with me was now gone and it was just me and this being/guide. I say being because at this point he felt foreign to me and very, very intelligent and wise beyond anything I have felt from my other guides.

I found myself standing upon a blue, spongy ground that appeared to be in layers. Looking at it from above, it appeared like feathers layered upon feathers of blue.The blue was vibrant and bold and I thought nothing of it being there. It was as it should be.

I was extremely excited at this point, looking upward at the night sky from my position on the blue spongy ground. I could see platforms of similar blue material above me and asked permission to “fly/jump” up to these platforms. I got the go-ahead to explore from my guide who seemed to enjoy watching my excitement. There was a paternal feeling coming from him and I felt very much like a child embarking on an adventure of learning.

I was hesitant at first about whether I could make it to the first platform. It was oval and loomed about twenty feet above me. I could see other platforms above and to the side. They seemed almost like a staircase leading up. I saw nothing but black void above so it is no surprise that I was intimidated.

I jumped up but failed to make it the first time. I got encouragement form my guide so tried again. This time I made it.

The next thing I knew I was in a city that appeared very modern but it is a city without walls. The rooms and buildings (not sure what to call them) were divided by low walls that were short enough to step over. I went directly to a seat near one of the low dividers and sat down. I remember someone talking to me then, a female who I could not see but who was on the same level as me and was my “friend”. We were talking about eating and I saw spread out next to me food in a display waiting to be eaten. I don’t remember exactly what the food was but in my mind I saw it as “dessert”. I recall taking a bite and being encouraged to eat more by my friend who was thrilled that I was there. I told her, “I am saving it for later” and said something about it being “mine” and always being there and available to me.

My consciousness got the better of me at this point and I pulled myself out of the “dream” and into the “in-between” state. I stayed there in the void for some time talking to the guide who had shown me this mysterious planet of blue. I could see clearly in my mind a vision of the planet I had been hovering over prior to visiting the blue place. I had thought it was Earth but it did not appear as Earth. It was too large and the land masses were not the same. Plus it had odd cloud formations that swirled and had a golden coloring in them. I blinked to get a better look and the image did not falter. I wondered silently, “Where am I?

To my surprise I got a clear answer, “Cassiopeia”. I repeated it, “Cassiopeia” and heard myself corrected with, “CassiopEIa” (emphasis on the long E sound).

I felt true admiration for the name and the planet at this point and kept repeating the name so I would not forget. In the midst of my repeating I heard, “We are here”. This threw me and I began to have my alien considerations and so began to reject that any of the experience was real. I was instantly calmed and remembered then that my origins prior to Earth were likely alien and so relaxed. I did not completely reject the possibility but was not receptive to further communication.

When I opened my eyes I heard a final message, “Expect change”.

Space Traveling

I spent the rest of the morning in dreams that are hard to recall. I do, however, remember flying through space with my guide at one point being taught about different planets. I know I was on the moon of one of them being shown a planet. I wish I could remember more of what I saw and experienced but I must have been too curious and so was only allowed to recall some of it.