Category Archives: Dreams

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Mountain Towers

As the day progresses, I cannot stop thinking about what I am going through and what my future holds. There is so much in my mind now, being processed so very slowly, that I feel as if a part of me is about to explode with knowingness. It is as if all the answers are at the tip of my tongue but I cannot for the life of me get the words to come out or make any sense. What is odd to me is that when I do try and think about it all I go completely blank and a calmness washes over me as if I am being told to relax, trust and stop fighting. Is trying to make sense of all this considered fighting? I suppose it is because the human mind is so booby trapped by limiting believes and useless data that I have no doubt that if I tried to process all that has happened to me too quickly before my energy body and physical body have adjusted, I would drive myself insane. Thankfully, whatever happened, is happening, to me, keeps me from the brink of insanity through the very waves of calm that wash over me when I attempt to think too much.

Note to self: Listen.

12 Levels

What I am able to contemplate, and am ready and able to process without risk of booby traps, is the interesting dreams I had this morning.

I am sick, have been since Sunday. It comes and goes, some days not as bad as others. Last night it hit me full force and as I meditated I saw a message flicker in the left side of my mental vision: “tired”. It was very tiny but when I saw it I heard, ‘You are tired” and I knew I was. I rolled over, satisfied that my self-healing had proved successful, and fell asleep.

I dreamed I was in a busy, bustling room. It resembled a hotel lobby with people milling about, sitting at tables, drinking coffee and eating, or coming and going from the large, beautifully embellished, multiple elevators. I felt to be in a metropolis of some sort. It felt like New York, but I was not sure.

I watched as a man and woman rushed into an elevator. The man was nicely dressed in casual attire and very relaxed with a strong, compelling energy. The woman was in a vibrant red dress and had long, wavy brown hair that reached her waist line. They were laughing and completely ignored me as they walked by. But I knew them! We were suppose to be traveling together. Why didn’t they wait for me?

I tried to catch up with them, reaching for the elevator door and almost losing my hand in it as it closed. I looked at the dial showing the floors they were going to and prayed they were the first to be dropped off because a man I did not know got into the elevator with him. What if his floor is before theirs? If I chose that floor number then I would never find my friends.

I watched as the elevator ascended. 1, 2, 3, 4…..9, 10, 11, 12. It stopped at 12. That was the floor I would go to.

I got into the elevator and went to level 12. What is odd is that I felt I was already miles up in the sky before I got into the elevator.

Mountain Towers

The rising of the elevator up the 12 floors is mostly lost to me but I did make it to the 12th floor. The next thing I knew I was with the man and he was showing me the city.

It was not New York.

I was flying above a large city. It was bigger than any city I have ever visited. The lights were bright and sparkling and the colors vivid. We stood for a while on the city side walk and I looked up and saw a massive tower in front of me. It had to be a mile high! I remember the sidewalks were vibrant white but had a silver glimmer about them. In fact, all of the buildings, except the tower in front of me, had a silver glimmer to them. I felt as if I were in a futuristic city similar to present time sci-fi movies.

This was not an Earth city. I knew the name and also knew of other names of cities. I cannot remember the name now but I know it started with a B and reminded me of a country on Earth. I also heard the name Lumeria, which I have visited in an OBE. I knew I had been there before. I wish I could remember what I remembered then but it is all lost to me now!

The next thing I knew I was flying high above the city with the man. I was being told about the towers and the man I was flying with motioned in front of him. I looked into the distance and saw majestic, snow topped mountains with jagged peaks one after the other. They seemed to go on forever. He then gestured to the city below us and mentioned the towers. I noticed we were right above a large, golden brown tower. It reminded me of a cathedral mixed with a castle tower. It had a pointed, conical roof and rose miles into the air. The man told me that the people who built the city built towers out of the mountains. At the time, I recognized the towers below me, situated specific distances from one another, as “mountain towers”, even though now, as I think on the memory, they looked nothing like the mountains other than being majestic and rising high into the air.

Considerations

I was not lucid in either of these dreams but I am certain that the second dream was an OBE. I remember it so vividly and believe I was taken to this city for a purpose. I also believe it was the same city as the first dream of the elevator. The feeling I had upon waking was that I was visiting there to do “work” specific to this Earth life.

I awoke immediately thinking about the name of the city. I repeated it to myself several times to try and remember it, but unfortunately the memory is gone now. I began to think about all the stuff I read about the Pleadians in the past and how I once was sure that I was communicating with them. I even had OBEs where I went to other planets and visited. I put an end to those thoughts, though, because they cause me to feel uneasy. But I wonder now, is there some truth to it?

I am certain the first dream was a result of my contemplating chakras 8-12. The feeling from that dream was that I felt ill prepared for the changes coming my way and that I felt left behind, as if I am way behind those of my friends.There may be some truth to this because I have had this feeling before and it has come out in my dreams. I can’t help but wonder if I slipped up in this life, got behind and am now playing catch up. Did I make a mistake when I put my awakening on hold back in 2005?

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Swaddled in Popcorn Clouds

I can’t sleep. I just had the most amazing experience and I will not be able to sleep until I write about it.

After this morning’s interesting OBE and messages, I went about the day floating about and feeling very happy. The entire time I kept the memory and questions about what happened at the back of my mind. I recognized this near bedtime but still kept the thoughts at bay.

Yoga and Meditation

I was instructed (am using this word as it is the only one that makes sense) to do yoga. I did Hatha yoga while my daughter played and my baby crawled about, sometimes on me. lol It did not bother me, I just enjoyed it and laughed while slowly going through the video routine and breathing deeply.

By bed time I felt the need to meditate. I was instructed to Om, so I did for quite a while. I also moved energy from my root up through my crown and then to the chakra above it. I counted as I went through each chakra, 1-8, and recognized that the 8th one was necessary. I felt my guide close the entire time.

I finally gave up on reaching any kind of meditative bliss, though I did feel calm and without thought. I laid on my right side and attempted sleep.

Dragon Girl

Soon I was dreaming. I was in a darkened theatre listening to a group of actors and actresses who were discussing the filming of a show. I was an actress, too, and knew this, but my focus was upon a small child who was with me. She was blonde and about 6 years old. I recognized her as my daughter but she was very dissimilar to my living daughter.

I was vaguely aware that the director was discussing my role in the “season” that was being filmed. He never mentioned me by name but they were all discussing my role as if I were not there, though I was. I was still focused upon the child who was putting on costumes and dancing about. She was beautiful and I was in awe of her.

I heard them all begin to discuss my access to the role I would be playing. Some were saying I could have no access to the script because I was not a full player in this “series” (it seemed like a television series but felt like the theatre). I recall that my role was being “rewritten” to include me coming into the life of a married man. I would not suspect this but it was being written. I could see the man out of the corner of my mind and there was a bit of sadness about my unexpected role.

I heard all of this but was not concerned. I was still engrossed in the little girl.

The director brought out the little girl dressed in a new costume. I was delighted! She was wearing a dragon costume that covered her entire body and even head. I could still see her face and she was so happy and wanted to show off for me. I watched as she jumped down into my arms, her little purple and green costume soft against my skin. I was extremely happy, happier than I believe I have ever felt in life. The joy poured out me as I hugged her close.

Hypnagogic Images With a Message

As I hugged the little girl against me it felt as if my entire head was swaddled in a soft, cottony pillow. It was white and I could see it but again I did not care or really focus upon it. I felt too good! Then the dream vanished and I was suddenly aware of a beautiful vision pouring into my line of sight. It felt as if I were floating still, my head swaddled and soft and buzzing with a soft energy. The vision clarified and in front of me were millions of tiny, white bubbles filled with rainbows of color, each spinning like prisms within prisms. The vision spread throughout my line of site until it hit the white, almost solid clouds that surrounded it, and me.

I instantly became aware of my body. It was stiff but completely solid. I also knew I was seeing hypnagogic images. Upon this realization my heart sank. Not in fear but in anticipation.

I heard a voice say, “Let go” and as I did, small letters took form upon the swirling, iridescent balls of color. Before they could completely form the word “Let” I knew what I was being told. Then in front of me more words began to form. They were jumbled but I heard a voice say, “What do you want?” and I immediately saw that the jumbled word was “Peace” and I responded, “Peace”. Then I wondered, “What do I do now?” and before my thought was finished I saw the word, “Listen” form in front of me in lavender letters. I listened, focusing on the swirling, beautiful clouds of color in front of me. It was the most spectacular thing I have ever seen! Overjoyed and excited, I continued to watch and waited, listening.

I never heard anything. Instead the stiffness in my body became overpowering as the vision before me faded. I knew/thought, “I will wake up”. A bit disappointed, I allowed it to happen.

Messages

I felt my head still swaddled in the white, puffy clouds. The energy there was so wonderful and relaxing. I just wanted to stay in it but I knew when I moved it would go away.

My guide was there. He asked, “How was it?

“Absolutely wonderful!” I mentally replied.

“There is more to come”

I was in awe. What do I say to that?

I continued to hear him and feel him all around me. I wondered, “Is this what it will be like (to merge)?”

He just said, “More is coming”.

Eventually I moved my body which felt stiff as if I had been in the same position for years. I stretched out on my stomach and thought about what I should do next. He said, “Write”.

I waited a while, still not wanting to leave my bed behind but the memory of what had happened was just too intense. So here I am, my body still jumping involuntarily from the energy that just swept through it. I feel as if I had just had the most awesome trip ever! I can still only think about the colors that surrounded me. All lavenders, pinks and other pastel colors of the rainbow. The soft, cushiony pillow that surrounded my head was so comforting. I felt safe and it reminded me of being a child in my mother’s arms. Oh how I wanted to stay forever. Is that what peace feels like?

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Stay With Me

Last night and this morning was very eventful. I did not see it coming either. I have been experiencing such calm and balance that I assumed I would have blissful, uneventful sleep.

Dead Baby

I awoke at 4am sharp in tears. The dream is not all very clear to me now except for the end, so I will recount it and hope it starts to make sense at some level.

I was very aware of being part of a trio of people. I was one of two women. We had been living together alone for some time, me, my lover and her son. My lover’s husband had been deployed and gone for a long time. She did not think she would ever see him again.

Then one day, to our surprise, my lover’s husband returned. When he arrived he was surprised to find his wife with a roommate who he later discovered was his substitute. Interestingly, he was not upset and just joined us, joking we were his “two wives”.

It took a while for him to accept me, but he eventually did. He began to sleep in the same bed as us and even attempted to touch me and cuddle with me. I recall worrying about him and sensing he was not really sure about all of us being together. Three’s a crowd, you know.

I remember talking to the husband and telling him I that I will not blame him if he leaves, but he refuses to admit he is uncomfortable with the situation. We all get to know each other after that and I show them my ability: I can fly. I hover over the ground and show them how I do it. I point to my chest/heart area and explain it is all in the “heart”. I am able to hover about and they are extremely interesting in watching, but I do not recall them ever doing it themselves.

We somehow end up at a water park and they ask me to show them and others my ability. We are at this huge waterfall/slide. It is at least a half mile wide and this sparkling, aqua-clear blue. I hover over the water for a time but when I fly over the edge the water takes me down with it and at the end I am wet but unharmed.

The time shifts and I feel as if years had passed. The husband is showing signs of discomfort at his situation. His son, who I later found out was not his real son but step-son, is taking much of our and his time. I remember him saying, “I cannot take this anymore. I did not sign up for this”. At the time I am pregnant with his child.

Fast forward again and the baby is about to be born, but I am now an observer. As the baby is born and laid out, it is discovered that he has something in his brain. The doctor finds a hemangeoma but it is located in the neck and says the baby will be fine. The husband and woman are relieved. I now enter the scene and tell the husband it is okay for him to feel overwhelmed, that I understand if he wants to leave. We hug. When we hug, one of us hits the bed the baby is on and he falls to the floor. When he falls, he hits his head and instantly dies. His head is flattened in the dream and very disfigured. I feel awful and say, “It’s my fault” and watch as the mother picks him up and cries. I then see the ultrasound photos of him and begin to cry. I wake up in tears.

Stay With Me

I ran to check on my son because of the disturbing dream but he was fine and breathing normally. I have been worried about him suffocating in his sleep for a while now because he keeps getting colds, so any dream that suggests he may be in danger causes me to worry.

I went back to bed and tossed and turned for some time. My guide was close and I kept hearing the song “Stay With Me”, by Sam Smith. It is not a song I particularly like but it seems songs are one of the main ways my guides communicate with me and the song keeps coming until I hear the message.

My gut reaction to this song and the dream is that I am struggling to move forward with what has been going on with me both consciously and subconsciously.

Consciously, my guide has been asking me to decide what I want so that I can move forward. Oddly, I am unable to decide what I want to do with my life other than recognizing I want to feel peace and calm. Subconsciously, I am told I am shifting awareness and that it is creating an internal struggle. I am told this is normal and part of the process and to be patient with myself for my Ego is not easily swayed.

The dream symbols here are quite obvious to me. A baby is a new idea or path/direction. In this dream the baby is found to have a growth which suggests there may be a flaw in this path, but not one that will cause significant problems. However, the baby dies and I admit it is my fault. This suggests that I am taking responsibility for a new goal/path not coming to fruition. Perhaps I am also considering dropping this path altogether?

The waterfall is significant of emotion and since it is clear it is not muddled emotion, but clear, recognizable and confrontable emotion. The water fall is vast, suggesting there is much emotion to clear and that it may result of a drastic shift for me, as per the waterfall part. I attempt to fly above the water, avoiding it, but am swept up in it suggesting I cannot avoid this shift.

The discussion with the man in the dream seems to be a discussion I am having with myself about the feelings of overwhelm I have been having associated with my role in the family. I tell him it is okay to feel the way he feels and that I will understand if he chooses to leave. Perhaps I am accepting this part of myself? It sure felt that way considering the emotional effect it had on me both in the dream and upon waking.

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Driving Test

Yesterday was a good day. I spent most of the day with my husband. The children were with my mother-in-law. I enjoyed every minute of my freedom.

Driving Test

I went to bed feeling very relaxed and balanced. For once I was in a good mood and I felt good, too! I did yoga and then mediated for quite some time before drifting to sleep.

I dreamed I was going to take a driving test. It had been five years and it was time to recertify that I knew the rules for driving. I remember feeling ill prepared. I had not studied. I sat down at a desk next to a girl I went to high school with. “Why is she here?” I thought. The woman who was teaching the class asked us if we were ready and did a quick review. I remember having notes and looking them over. I was reading long lists of things I had to remember. I saw entire sections, one said Section M1. I remember thinking the questions were unfair, asking me to recall details that were not important to driving.

I got out my pencil and noticed it needed sharpening. I informed the teacher who sent a student to another class to sharpen it for me. I then looked through my bag and found I had a brand new pencil in there. I showed the teacher, apologized and then got up to sharpen it myself. When I was done, I sat down and looked through my notes some more. There was a section in it that was talking about the changes happening in the world. I remember finding it interesting because it was exactly what was happening to me! I saw information about the chakras and energy and how it was important to be balanced during this time. I read eagerly but I ran into a section where my writing was unintelligible. It exasperated me and I began to furiously look for anything else about where to find this important information. I saw the page number – 643. I knew it came from the manual we used for class, the very class I was about to take a test in! I remember looking for the manual but not being able to find it. All I had were copious amounts of handwritten notes and I had not reviewed them! I needed more time!

The teacher began to hand out the tests. I got mine and became nervous. Everyone else was intently working on theirs as soon as they received it. The teacher told us we had until that evening and then left the room. Seeing I had the freedom to leave and take my test with me, I left the room quickly. I intended to find a place without prying eyes where I could use my notes to take the test. I went directly to the parking lot to find my car.

When I left the room I detoured into a bathroom and suddenly had the idea to hide in a stall to take the test. When I got in I encountered a woman and hid the test and pencil behind my back. When she left I went into a stall but it turned into a cubicle. I looked at the test and noticed the light was too dim to see by. I could not make out the words and what I could make out made no sense! I do recall the first half was analogy problems and there was a sample problem with the answer. I could not figure out how it made any sense and thus could not answer any of the questions. There were also matching questions but I could not read them as there was not enough light.

I finally exited the building and went into the parking lot. It was snowing and icy. I made it to my car and got inside. Again, there was not enough light to see by. Upset by this and noting the day was coming to an end, I began to panic. I began to drive but my car turned into a motorcycle. I flew up the icy roads, revving my engine. At once point it sputtered and I urged it on but knew it was not going to make it much farther.

Somehow I ended up seeing my teachers (there were now two) and other students and saw that the main teacher was allowing them back into the classroom for retakes. I told her I had messed up on my test and needed another one. She smiled and gave me the new test. I sat down to take it and noticed it had the name of another person written on the top but it had been erased. It was still readable and was very large like the handwriting of a child. I don’t recall the name except that it started with an M. I remember feeling nervous about the test still but I was grateful for two things: 1. I was not alone and 2. I was getting another chance.

Interpretation

I believe this dream was symbolic of my feeling that I need to make a decision but not wanting to. The driving test is representative of my goals or aspirations being put to the test. Questions are being asked about what I want to do with my future. Sharpening a pencil symbolizes the need to be more flexible in my way of thinking and to listen more. Driving a motorcycle symbolizes a desire for freedom and adventure as well as a desire to escape something. In the dream I push the motorcycle to its breaking point indicating that I have recognized that my avoidance has gone on too long. Finally, driving in snow suggests I need to be careful about how I approach my goals.

Flower Car

I then dreamed I was back working at my old, hated job. I found out that it had been taken over by the local police department. As a result, all of the previous staff had been let go. I inquired about my previous boss and was told he no longer worked there. I was surprised about all of this and for a moment was happy and then I felt bad for them. I knew they would have all taken it hard as they did not want to change and had stayed there because it was easier than creating the change they needed.

I was introduced to several young people who were students. Then I went into a room that was devoid of furniture and the person with me laughed at me for going in there. One student, a young black girl, came in and sat down at a desk. She was brought a computer and I asked her if she knew how to use it. She nodded that she did and I sat with her to help her. She struggled with writing and said she felt overwhelmed about writing more than 33 words which was what was required of the assignments. I showed her how to rewrite the question as part of her answer and take up words that way. She listened.

Then all of a sudden there were more students. They began to sing their assignments and danced about. I was interested and got into it, thinking, “What a great idea!” I felt happy for the students. They were finally making learning fun!

When the music stopped I remember being told that learning that way was not allowed. That the students would get carried away if allowed to have fun and that they must not be allowed to do that because they will do bad things. I saw this possibility and agreed to not let them do it anymore. I felt subdued.

I was then told the new boss was coming. He arrived and I was glad to see it was not my old boss. I remember telling them I hated my old boss, but in my head I could not get a clear memory of him as two different faces blurred and blended in my mind. I think I got the other bosses confused with this new one and so backed away from him. He was tall and blonde and quite good looking but I stayed away from him.

A young woman with long, straight black hair came toward me and we began to talk. She had such love about her and I was instantly drawn to her. She and I got along well and she helped me and listened to me. We sat down along the side of the road looking at a valley with a river flowing through it. The grass was green and it was a lovely, quiet and relaxing place. She put her hand in mine and asked me if I wanted to be with her. I did. I knew she liked women and that I did not, but that is not what caused me to feel disappointed. I turned to her and told her, “I would, but I have to tell you that I am married”. She understood and kept holding my hand. I put my head on her shoulder and just sat there with her. As I did, I saw a car drive by and its roof was covered with flowers. I looked closer and saw they were each in tiny pots and I remember saying, “I want a car like that”.

Flower Car

This dream seemed mostly to symbolize me coming to terms with my past. I return to my old job to find that all the past participants in such a stressful period of my life have gone. They are replaced with others who are more accepting but they still insist that the students will be “bad” if allowed to go out of control and have too much fun. I must have a belief that “fun” leads to bad things. The 33 is significant in that it represents high potential and spiritual awareness. The lesbian I meet represents an aspect of myself that I want to be reunited with. She represents self-love and self-acceptance. Finally, the flowers on the car symbolize perfection and spirituality. When I say I want that car, I am saying that is what I want for my life as cars symbolize life paths.

Considerations

I remain in a state of calm and balance today. I feel rested and well. I cannot stop thinking about how my dreams are suggesting I make a change in my life. I am not sure what this change should be and I realize a part of me fears failure and so I stay with what I know I will succeed at. I struggle to come to a decision about what I want. I seem to want nothing other than to feel the way I felt in that last dream.

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Left Behind

I had a very unusual dream experience last night. It was one of those dreams that continued even after I would awaken. I woke multiple times and when I returned to sleep the dream would continue.

Left Behind

I was awakened at 2am by my baby and tended to him for about a half hour or so. When I returned to bed I was irritated but managed to fall asleep after about a half hour of tossing and turning.

I fell into a dream of being on a school trip. I felt myself to be young, probably mid-teens and the trip appeared to be at a zoo or some similar outdoor themed park. I don’t recall much of the trip itself. It is the end that is the most vivid.

It had rained while we were preparing to leave and had stopped as we entered the parking lot where the bus and individual chaperone’s cars were parked. I had ridden with a couple of older ladies rather than take the bus so was heading toward their car being careful to avoid puddles of water when I suddenly realized I was not wearing shoes. I thought, “I forgot my shoes!”  I turned and began to head back to the park but only got half way because I saw that the parking lots was clearing out really fast. Suddenly concerned I may miss my ride, I ran back where I had been calling out to the women as I did. When I got to the place I had been previous the parking lot was almost completely empty. There was a few cars scattered here and there but there were none from my group.

I looked around suddenly aware that I was very much alone. I felt a myriad of emotions – fear, upset, nervousness, anxiety, abandonment, hurt. I scanned the parking lot for familiar faces and saw none. Then I looked for my phone in my purse, hoping to call and get them to turn around and get me. But it wasn’t there. I had left it in the car. My heart sunk. I knew they would probably assume I got in the bus or went with the other chaperones, so not miss me and just continue on home. I felt completely helpless and began to pace the parking lot.

I got the idea to ask one of the few remaining people if I could borrow their phone. A man let me borrow his. It looked identical to mine. When I began to try and use it, though, I could not figure out how. I tried typing in the number of my own cell and found the keys were in hand written form and when I punched in the numbers they came out all wrong. The owner of the cell finally asked me if he could type them in for me and so he did as I told him my number.

The phone rang but no one picked up. I left a message and waited.

I was there so long that the parking lot became empty and no people remained. The only light was at the corner of the lot near a side street. The rest of the area was very dark and though I was not afraid of the dark, I lingered near the light because that was where I would most easily be seen.

After hours of waiting and enduring massive amounts of anxiety and “what if’s”, I finally saw the old beat up brown station wagon pull up. The two women were inside and said, “There you are. Get in”. I got in but yelled at them saying, “How could you leave me! Did you get all the way home before you realized I was left here?” The driver said, “Yes. We thought you were in the other bus”. I sat in the back and sulked, finally allowing myself to calm down and feel relief. I remember finally feeling like I was safe but worrying how long that safe feeling would last.

Kidnapped

I awoke crying and upset over the dream. I had awakened a couple of times during it and it kept coming back. I finally asked to not have that happen again. Unfortunately, I ended up in another, similarly upsetting dream sequence.

I was walking from my old childhood school to another nearby school. I was an adult and had returned to the school as a teacher and was reliving memories as I walked from one familiar place to another.

I came to a school that was built into a mountainside. It was very cool looking and I was instantly interested. I went inside and ran into the principal there. She and I spoke and she asked me about myself. When I told her I was a teacher she began to try and sell the school to me and eventually told me the salary, how to apply and the days worked. I remember she showed me that I had no vacations. I had to work every day of the year and get paid the same amount as I already made. I was instantly not interested, thanked her and left.

I wandered near a bakery by the cafeteria. A couple of plump ladies were making breads and asked me if I wanted to help them with the last ten. I helped by rolling the rolls in powdered sugar and talked with the ladies and another woman helper.

Out of the blue, a man came in and locked all the doors. He then took me and the other lady prisoner. For some reason my husband was there and taken prisoner, too. He then decided he would rape me in front of my husband. I don’t recall the actual rape but I remember being embarrassed that my husband had to watch and feeling sorry for him. He then targeted another person, a small child of about 8 years old. I remember feeling I was 14 years old at the time and being very protective of her. I put my whole body over her to shield her and he left her alone.

We were trapped for a long time but I managed to escape when a maid unlocked the door and left it that way. My husband followed as did the other woman (who had been the child before). During this part of the dream I continued to awaken and return to sleep, each time having another portion of the escape play out in my dreams. We hijacked a school bus, crawled through snow and even had a flat tire at a truck stop all to avoid this man who was hunting us.

Reflection

I awoke feeling a bit overwhelmed by my dreams. Not only does the first dream suggest I am struggling with feelings of aloneness and isolation but it seems I am also struggling with some other fears. The second dreams is symbolic of feeling forced into a corner, one that is unfair and unwanted. It also symbolizes how I have been trying to escape the uncontrollable situation: by running. Throughout the dream I feel pursued by a man who wants to do me harm and imprison me. He didn’t catch me in the dream but he did keep catching up to me and I never could get far enough ahead of him to feel at ease.

I keep hearing a song in my head. It’s Flaws by Bastille. The main part of the song that keeps repeating in my head is, “Let’s finish what we started”. It has been going over and over in my head and driving me a bit nutty. The message seems clear: Stop running from yourself and let’s finish what we started.

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Madonna

Yesterday was a long day. We spent most of the day at my Mom’s for Thanksgiving and then went directly to the church to have another Thanksgiving there. We did not get home until late and then I could not fall asleep. I must have had too much caffeine. I drank mostly iced tea the entire day.

I felt my guide close and also sensed quite a few more in Spirit, about 9 total. I felt I needed to meditate and so I did, trying to quiet my mind. However, as soon as I would get to a quieted mind my guide would become more noticeable. Finally, I just listened to him rather than try to quiet my mind.

In my mind I saw a hand extended to me and felt I should take it. I reached out with my own mental hand and took it. When I did, I felt a surge in my heart chakra that lingered and expanded. It did not fill me up with the usual intensely, wonderful feeling, though. Instead, it felt blocked and dulled. I then began to feel an energy in my feet and legs. It was heavy and tingly. When I felt it, I instinctively began to urge it upward, slowly. I felt the energy slowly move up into my solar plexus and then into my heart but I could not get it to extend any higher up. I was able to get some energy to move up, but only small amounts. I knew this meant I had too many blockages.

I spent some time doing self-healing. I don’t know how long I spent, but eventually I must have begun to doze off because I suddenly had a vision of my baby struggling to breathe. It woke me suddenly and I flew out of bed. I checked on my baby and he was fine but I was wide awake and on mommy alert. Why did I get such a vision? Was this a warning that the “test” I have been dreaming of will be that I lose my baby to SIDS?

I could not go to sleep after that. I was a ball of worry and suddenly became super aware of how my body was feeling. I could not breathe out of one nostril and the other one was so dry it hurt to breathe. I also had a headache. I noted the time and it was midnight.

Continued Energy Work During Dreamtime

I slept fitfully and had odd dreams, most of which I cannot remember fully. I do recall dreaming of a friend from high school who I use to work with as waitress. She was being asked to go with two women. They appeared to be making sexual advances upon her at first but when I studied them closer, I realized they just wanted to have her company as a friend. I urged her to go with the woman even though she was very afraid for some reason. She left with them, looking back at me and I was filled with huge amounts of sympathy and could feel my heart chakra radiating energy out toward her.

In another dream I do not fully recall, I was driving a car down a road with high, white sides. It reminded me a tunnel without a top. I watched as a man in uniform slowly removed orange and white cones from a section of the road ahead of me. The section had two off-shoots, one to the right and another to the left. The left side had been opened up but the man was still removing the cones from the right.

As I approached I put on my brakes when I saw that the right tunnel had not been cleared of cones. I stopped completely and another person in a white sedan who I knew had been following me barreled through the right side, tossing the cones and then flying high up into the air. Her car collided with the concrete of a nearby building. When I looked up, I noticed the car had changed to a motorcycle. It was completely totaled but my friend was unharmed. When I approached her and asked if she was ok, she said she was and then said she had to get out of there before they found her out. Then her motorcycle was miraculously repaired and I jumped on and drove it down stairs. The stairs turned to slides and I followed them down for what seemed like forever.

I awoke at that point and could still feel the energy lingering in my heart chakra.

ThirdEyeMadonna – Lucid Dream to OBE

I fell back to sleep for some time and then awoke at 6am. My kids were up and noisy and I could not fall back to sleep. I put a pillow over my head and tried to sleep. I stated mentally, “I want to go OOB”.

The next thing I remember was sitting in a chair next to my bed. I heard music and a woman was next to me and then seemed to be all around me. It was dark and I could only see shadows of varying shades of gray. I sensed the woman more than I saw her and recognized that she was tapping headphones that were on my head. The music sounded like dance music and the beat was unfamiliar. The woman asked me, “Do you know this song?” I recognized her then as Madonna and I told her, “No. Sorry”.

I heard the music continue to play and recognized some of the words but most are lost to me now. The song was not one I had ever heard but I do recall hearing the word “star”. The Madonna woman then asked me, “Do you like my music?” I said, “I don’t usually listen to your kind of music but I am starting to”.

Then I was out of the chair and the “Madonna” woman was in the chair. I was trying to see her more clearly but could not make out her face. She reached out to me and pulled me toward her and I sensed a sexual inquiry from her. I let her pull me close and hug me. I recall seeing her neck and noticing she was wearing earrings and a necklace. I looked at the necklace while she attempted to encourage me to kiss her. I did kiss her but something felt very wrong about it. It was then I knew I was dreaming and that I did not want this to for myself. I pulled away from her.

Now completely “awake” within my dream, I felt the woman’s presence change. It was still dark but I turned around to look and see who had replaced her as the energy felt masculine. I saw a man in her place and his energy suggested he wanted me to have sex with him. He came towards me and I let him get close enough to touch me. I looked at his face and saw his features were angular and he had blondish hair that was cut short. He reminded me of someone but I did not know who. He did not say anything to me but I could feel his intentions. They felt odd to me, like he was hiding something of his intentions and I knew quickly that he was a sexual deviant of some kind and that he was not someone I wanted to be around.

At that time I also recognized I was standing right next to my slumbering physical body. I was so close that I could feel the pull of it and I kept thinking I needed to get away from it. The man continued to will me toward him but I did not like the way he felt and wanted nothing to do with him. I decided at that point to get away from my slumbering body and the man so I went to the bedroom door. I tried to open it but found that the doorknob was on the wrong side of the door. It took me a while to realize this but when I did, I opened the door, went out and down the stairs. I could feel the man behind me and a part of me looked behind me while another saw straight in front of me (I think this is the 360 degree vision people speak of having in astral). I moved so swiftly that I do not recall seeing the stairs at all. I just recall being downstairs and seeing my two oldest children watching television.

I went out the front door and down several steps. These steps are not there in real life so I am not sure what house I was in, but it was not mine. I stopped in my tracks when I was confronted with a completely different place than I expected. The residential street I assumed I would be on was replaced with a very urban street lined with brightly lit up buildings that stretched for miles in both directions. The place was familiar and I knew far to the right was a tall, silver building that towered above all the others. The sky was clear and I could see thousands of stars spread out in front of me. It was as if the sky went on forever! The air was crisp and my vision was crystal clear despite it being dark. I was overcome with awe as I took it all in.

I instantly wanted to stay there as long as I could and so looked down at my hands to try and increase my awareness. I looked down not knowing what to expect after finding gloved hands in my last OBE. I only saw my hands, just as they appear in real life. There wasn’t even any glow to them. I found this peculiar but did not let it bother me.

My vision remained crisp and I took note of how real and solid everything felt. Had I not known I was OOB I would have thought I was awake! I looked from my hands to a large building across the street. It looked like a very pricy, old hotel from another era. It was lit up with yellowish lighting and was a spectacular sight. I wanted instantly to explore it.

As soon as I set the intention to fly over to explore the building I felt my conscious energy coalesce into a mental ball. I did not feel my astral form at all. It was as if all of my consciousness was a mass of energy. The mental me was pulled upward as if through a siphon and there was a force that built up as my consciousness rose up. I had no control of this it seemed and went quickly upward and then into my sleeping body. I did not even feel the familiar settling of energy like normal. I was just instantly back in my body and fully aware.

Considerations

Upon waking I had a headache and was very thirsty. I also felt like I had been sleeping in a bad position as my lower body was stiff. I began to think of the short OBE I had an how weird it was. I thought about not writing it down because it seemed so boring but I thought perhaps I should focus on how lucid I felt and the senses I was able to utilize.

My perceptions are mostly limited when I am OBE. I usually have vision, sometimes clear sometimes not so clear. I also often can feel others and objects without a problems. Taste is also not usually an issue but is not often used unless I am eating something. Hearing is almost nonexistent. I hear most everything in my mind. External noise is a consciousness trigger for me and usually pulls me back into my physical body quite quickly. I have heard some amazing things OOB but it has been a long while. The music I heard in this experience was muted but I did hear it. I do not recall using my sense of smell often, but I have smelled things. For example, in one OBE I smelled the rain and felt it as it hit my body. I also heard it as it came down, a quiet trickling sound. This was one of my OBEs where every one of my senses was utilized. I would have given it a 10 on lucidity.

I recognize that this OBE was one of the few where I was quite lucid and was increasing in awareness very quickly. I believe this happened too quickly which is why I came back into my body the way I did. I was super aware of my energy and how it moved and then it was as if no transition at all occurred when I reentered my body. I was simply “awake”.

The recognition of myself as energy rather than a body was also interesting to me. I have only felt the “siphoning” feeling once and it scared me. In that experience I was sleeping when suddenly I was awakening by feeling my consciousness being siphoned upward and out of my body. I felt like liquid energy dripping upward and out of my body. I recall thinking I was dying and freaking out. I have never felt that again until this morning’s experience but this one was in the opposite direction, back into my body.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 5 increasing to 8

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: Midnight

Time to wake: 4:00am; 6:00am, 8:00am

Meditation?: Yes

Physical Exercise?: None

Mood: normal

Body: headache

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 3

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: Left side

Supplements: Multivitamin, Mineral supplement, Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Benadryl 25mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg

by

Beauty in the Dark

Before I go into detail on my morning’s excursion, I want to talk a bit about my day yesterday. My youngest (he’s almost 8 months now) has been going through a clingy, whiny stage for about a month now. Yesterday was probably the worst so far. I could not get anything done without having to endure wails of agony from my son. He also refused to take a nap and would not eat. I assume he is teething but there is no tooth or even swelling of the gums and one would think after a month of this a tooth would appear if it were teething! I spent most of the day catering to his needs. In between that I also had to cater to my older two children while fighting bouts of frustration and a feeling of overwhelm that kept rising up into my throat almost choking me.

Finally, after an entire day of enduring screaming and whimpering I took my baby to a room away from his siblings for some mommy time. He instantly cheered up, roaming around and playing but always coming back to mommy. I got out a book and read to him and he became elated, jumping up almost to standing and clapping his hands. He was so happy that later, when we ate dinner, he ate so much food I thought he would burst.

As the evening came to a close, my little baby settled down quietly and fell asleep earlier than usual, allowing me and my husband some alone time which was much needed. We ended up having some good conversations and for a very nice end to the day.

When I went to bed I did some yoga and read a bit of a book. I then set my intention: “I want to find my core self and continue whatever healing that has been started”. I did not set an intention to astral as I really did not have interest in it.

False Awakening

I awoke once at around midnight and then resumed sleep without incident.

I heard my baby crying very loudly for what seemed to be a long time. I ignored the screams and covered my head with a pillow, hoping my husband would take care of it. The screams continued for a while and then I heard the door open. I heard my husband come in and felt him set the baby on the bed. The baby continued to scream and my husband said to me, “You deal with him” and left the room. I sat up and grabbed the baby and had many thoughts hit me at once. I was so tired and just wanted to sleep and wanted to yell at my husband to come get the baby. I thought about doing this but felt conflicted because I knew my husband was frustrated and that I needed to take over.

I felt hazy at this time and struggled to understand what was going on. Part of me knew I was sleeping but the other part was sure I was awake.

I opened my eyes and heard my baby crying. I suddenly realized I had been dreaming and that none of the incident with my husband had even occurred. I suddenly became very concerned and got up to check on them. I found my husband soothing the baby downstairs and I let him be, sending him the thought, “Well done”. I noticed it was 5:50am, so I went back to bed.

Too Many Children

I could not go back to sleep at first. I was really cold and could not seem to get warm. I also kept hearing everything that was going on in the house. All my children soon got up and I heard the pitter patter of tiny feet along with talking (my oldest seems always to yell when she talks). I got irritated and began to curse my life silently to myself. I remember thinking, “I wish I had never had children. I wish I had never started this life”. Then I rolled over, put a pillow over my head and tried to sleep. I set an intention, “I want to go OOB”.

The next thing I remember is being outside with a group of people, most of them children. A story was played out in front of my eyes. It only lasted a second, like it had instantly been downloaded into my mind. I knew that a couple had started a family and had child after child very quickly. They had five children, the youngest just a baby. I saw in front of me these children and the couple. There were twin girls standing in front of me and a woman who was taking care of the baby.

I was semi-lucid as I heard myself talking with a woman while watching the scene in front of me. I saw the baby up close and knew he was a vampire baby. I shuddered at the thought. The woman taking care of him was not doing a good job and the next time I saw the baby he had become thin and gaunt and very close to death. The woman taking care of him was not concerned. I remembering thinking the baby was only half human.

The conversation in my mind continued. She recounted the story of the family, saying they got married quickly and jumped right into having child after child without giving themselves much time to bond with one another. I recognized this story as my own and remember saying to her, “I chose that adventure”, instantly recognizing that I was seeking adventure in life and grabbed onto an “acceptable” adventure which was getting married and having children. I did this without thinking of the long-term consequences and now I was stuck in the “adventure” and it was not so much fun.

Again the carriage with the baby came into my vision. I peered into it, assuming I would see a skeleton baby since he was surely almost dead the last time I saw him. I even envisioned the skeleton to prepare myself for the horror of it. Instead I saw only a blanket, no baby. I inquired where he was and the woman said, “Over there” and I looked and saw a plump little blond boy crawling around on top of a changing table. I asked, “He was almost dead the last time I saw him!” The woman replied, “That was his old caregiver. She neglected him a lot. He is fine now”. I saw the boy’s rosy cheeks and smile and wondered about him. The woman said, “He has a lot of energy”. I watched as the boy scooted to the side of the table and wiggled around. He did have a lot of energy. I was then aware that this baby needed a lot of attention and needed patience and help so he could learn to channel the energy properly.

Alaska – OBE

Something about the dream conversation shifted my awareness and the scene instantly changed to a new one. I found myself inside a house. The lights were out but I could make out the furniture and surroundings. It was a nice place and very cold. I was standing in the kitchen and could see the silhouette of sliding glass doors to my right. Moonlight poured through the window and illuminated the kitchen bar in front of me.

I was in the middle of another conversation with an invisible woman. Lost inside my mind, I talked to her until her voice was gone and I was talking to myself. I was rejecting the idea of my current “adventure”, mad at myself for taking on so much. One part of me was the voice of reason, the other part (the me in the dream) was the stubborn child.

Suddenly an idea came to me that I should look at buying a house. It was in Alaska and I got very upset by this. I looked down and saw I was holding a real estate brochure for a home. I glanced at it and saw it was a very nice house and a part of me was interested in buying it. I remember saying, “No! I don’t want to buy a house! I don’t want to live in Alaska!” I closed the brochure but my interest was peaked and I began to think about living in Alaska. I thought of the long winters and balked at the prospect of driving on icy roads again. I rejected that part. Then I thought, “I want to lay in the sun” and thought of going outside in the sun and then remembered I couldn’t do that in Alaska. I remembered when I lived there. The isolation. The darkness. I didn’t want that. Then I remembered I use to go to tanning beds and thought, “I could go to a tanning bed”. I looked at the brochure again and saw the price for the house was $1.5 million but then the price vanished and I couldn’t find it. That was way too much for a house!

Something clicked at this point and I looked at the glass doors and said aloud, “This is a dream”. Instantly aware I was creating all of this, I immediately recognized I was wearing heavy winter clothing. I tore off an imaginary coat and began to rip off what appeared to be a hat and goggles. I then went through the glass doors and outside, still tugging at my imaginary winter garb. I felt shrouded in heavy winter clothing and wanted it off.

Outside the moonlight was still illuminating everything quite well and I saw the yard was surrounded with trees and tall shrubs. The air was crisp and I knew it was still summer. My vision was blurry and I again took off goggles of some kind. My vision instantly cleared and I blinked a few times. I then looked more closely at the shrubbery and thought, “I should go that way” but then stopped myself thinking, “I don’t want to go that way” thinking that way meant I would be alone. I instantly wanted to go to the front yard so turned that way. I saw a privacy fence between myself and the front. I had the idea that if I crossed the fence I would find other people and not be alone. I decided to jump the fence and propelled myself upward. I went up quite fast, flying up so high that I worried I would not come down. To my delight, I did a flip mid-air and landed on the other side of the fence. In front of me I saw an open yard dotted with trees but I was still alone and it was still dark. I brought my hands up to look at them as it usually helps me feel more solid but when I brought my hands up instead of seeing glowing hands I saw heavily gloved hands. Disappointed and wondering why the gloves were still there (hadn’t I taken them off?) I decided I would try singing as it seems to always help me gain awareness. I launched myself into the air and began to sing loudly, “Ah ah ah” (like from the Little Mermaid). I began to be pulled upward very fast and I closed my eyes as I sang but my voice kept cracking and I could not get the cracking sound to go away. I kept singing, though, hoping I would escape the place I had been in.

I felt my energy settle back into my sleeping body and opened my eyes.

Beauty in the Dark

When I awoke I was pleased that my intention to astral had worked but I was not pleased that I had seemed to get nowhere in my experience. I also was upset to find myself yet again in Alaska. What did Alaska represent? Being alone. It represented all that I had felt when I had lived there in reality. I had gone in search of adventure but found the adventure was shrouded in loneliness. I had thought I could handle being alone but it had nearly killed me. The new adventure I had sought, having a family, was also shrouded in loneliness, but of a different kind. It was more bearable but I was drowning and felt similar emotions to how I felt when I lived in Alaska. In my OBE I had tried to escape the trap I had put myself in but could not. I felt burdened by a heavy shroud of winter clothing yet I felt cold still. It was very representative of my life and how heavy the burden of it felt. I could not free myself of it and the OBE seemed to indicate trying to escape was not the solution.

As I type this I am reminded of a song I wrote when I was living in Alaska. Back then I had yet to connect with my guide yet I was drawn to write music. I wrote many songs, the lyrics seeming to just flow out of me. I found moments of joy in the mostly sad songs I wrote. One of my favorites was called Beauty in the Dark.

Beauty in the Dark

I understand your sorrow
I understand your pain
I want to see you smile
I want to hold your hand.
And although this place is colder
And darker than where we’ve been
I’ll take you somewhere warmer
Be your light
In the dark.

Chorus

Take the darkness and wrap it around you
And you’ll find beauty in the dark
Don’t let the winds of the arctic prevent you
From searching for your heart

(Alternate ending)
I’ll find a way
I’ll take you there
Find somewhere where you belong.

Can’t you see the colors
Of the Northern Lights
They will offer comfort
In the dead of night.
And as the wind blows memories
Of places and times gone by
My love will be a blanket
Of warmth, of warmth.

Let me kiss the teardrops
From your swollen eyes
There is nothing to fear
It will be alright.
And as the days grow longer
In the Land of the Midnight Sun
Our love will grow much stronger
Lead us on, and on.

Chorus

Look to the bands of color
That paint the northern sky
A canvas filled with wonder
If you would only try.

Chorus (with alternate ending)

I guess I need to find beauty in the dark again.

Lucidity scale: 5

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 9:30pm

Time to wake: 5:50am; 7:30am

Meditation?: None

Physical Exercise?: Yoga

Mood: normal to low

Body: muscle aches

Tiredness: Moderate

Number of wakings: 2

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: stomach

Supplements: Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Benadryl 25mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg

by

The Time is at Hand

Since my last OBE I have returned to nights of heavy slumber filled with multitudinous amounts of odd and intricate dreams. I awaken only once and that is in the morning around 6a.m. which is odd for me since I typically wake multiple times throughout the night both because of a new baby and being a light sleeper. I have been nudged by both an inner urge and a gentle inner voice to do Yoga before bed. I have been following this suggestion, doing a succession of poses repeated five times with OM’ing and deep breathing. When I OM I can feel it resonate all the way to my toes and it feels very calming. After yoga, I usually fall asleep quickly.

Growing Wings

The first night of deep slumber I had a dream where I grew wings. The dream was long and drawn out, but I will skip most of the details so as to not bore you. I was with a man who I all of a sudden noticed had large, fairy-like wings coming out of his back. They were vivid, deep green and beautiful. He suggested I had wings, too, and as soon as he did I felt them growing and saw the most beautiful aqua, blue and shimmery silver wings emerge from my back and tower over my head. I was astonished and looked at the man with the green wings who nodded at me with a satisfied smile.

As we walked together through the green grass and talked I immediately noticed a fluffy tail poking out of the grass. I looked closer and saw that it was a squirrel. I immediately knew it was dead and had been killed by the dog, though I saw no dog at the time. I yelled out, “It’s dead!” and then soon forgot about its existence.

In researching the symbolism, I found that having wings symbolizes readiness to throw off limitation and soar to success. A dead squirrel symbolizes letting go of old habits and a willingness to focus on positive relationships and endeavors.

Advanced Learning

Last night I again slept so deeply that I did not wake all night. I had very detailed dreams in which I was near lucid.

The first I recall was set in a very magnificent building that appeared to be a university of some sort. I was in the hallway of a grand building with very high ceilings and grand pillars. It reminded me of an ancient place and did not appear to be a college or university that I have ever attended. It had multiple stories and the stone it was made of was polished to a sheen. I think it was marble or something similar as it was white with cream swirls and had a glassy polished appearance. There were plants in planter boxes along open common areas where students of various ages gathered and studied or socialized. There was one large, circular common area that was in the center of the building. It led to different hallways and high up above were glass atrium windows that covered the entire domed ceiling.

In the beginning of this dream I was late for class and could not remember my schedule. At first I was just going to skip but then felt I should at least try to attend part of the class. I entered a room that I thought was my class and there were not enough desks. I inquired if there was one for me that could be found. A student got up and retrieved two desks and put them in front of me. I moved one in front of his seat and sat down but it did not have a desk in front. I thought about how I could not use it to write upon and requested the other desk. I sat at it and noticed everyone was looking at me. I recall thinking the class was an Algebra II class and there was a test that day.

I left the class and still could not remember my schedule. A man was with me who was trying to show me how to access my schedule. He pulled out this white cylinder and pushed a button on top. It lit up a blue color and a tiny tube popped out and then opened up fan-line. It had blue print on it that had his schedule and information written upon it. I want to say it was a holographic image. I thought I would do the same thing but my cylinder was different. It had multiple cylinders attached to it and when I pushed the button a clear solution came out and went into the smaller cylinders. I recognized it as saline solution and saw that it filled a contact lens case. I knew this was no good and would not help me with my schedule.

I thought I remembered my 3rd period class was Economics. I went through the large atrium towards the elevator. I saw a map on the wall with the different room numbers and names. I located my teacher’s name and saw it was on the 4th floor. I thought that odd and remarked that I thought he was at a higher floor. We got onto the elevator and went to the 4th floor. I located the classroom and went inside.

I knew the class lasted 2 hours and I began to feel antsy. I began talking to a classmate and told him, “I don’t think I need this class. I already took Economics and got an A”. He said, “Really?” Then I remembered I already had a Master’s degree and told him so. He said, “What do you do with that degree?” I said, “I am a counselor”. He asked me, “Oh. How do you like it?” I do not remember my response to that question, though. I remember imagining taking more classes. I said to him, “I don’t need to take any more classes but I know if I do that I will do well. I always do well. I am good at learning”. At this point I remember being very proud that I was good at learning and feeling very confident in this knowledge about myself.

Coming Into Myself

I left the huge university and headed towards an apartment. I would be staying there with some female roommates while I went to school. While I was there I felt very odd and for part of the dream I was in the kitchen with a female friend who was visiting. I was getting very upset because I kept finding things put in the wrong location. For example, I found towels inside the cabinet for pots and pans. I began to complain loudly about it and the friend, who was making a chocolate cake, began to take notice. She stopped me and began to question me about why I was complaining so much. I explained that my husband never put things where they were suppose to go and that it made me super mad. She then suggested that I talk to him and explain the pros to having things go in a specific place rather than yelling at him for putting them in the wrong place. Her suggestion made sense and I calmed down.

I was then in a bedroom and waiting for my husband’s sister. I laid down in bed and felt overcome with a distinct feeling. I knew in the dream that I was allowing myself to come into myself. This continued throughout the remainder of the dream and felt very specific and is hard to describe. It was as if I were two people and I was welcoming another part of me into me. The part I was most aware of (the me as the dreamer) was draped in black. I recall communicating with a black, furry cat with very large eyes and then coming to a place where there were two baby warthogs. As I continued to feel the odd sensation, the mother warthog came and passed right between my legs. I was alarmed at first and thought they were going to be mean. I even saw the hair rise on their backs. Then I saw the family of hairy beasts get together and even petted them. I remember feeling odd at that time, like I was changing.

At the end of this dream I was firmly merged and recognizing it. I began to see differently and had the ability to do things with just a thought. I practiced it on the door and made the door shut with my mind. I remember thinking it was curious and I was a bit scared of this ability.

Then I was being instructed on redecorating the apartment and working on replacing the blue blinds with black drapes. I saw a large refrigerator being brought in. It was packed with soda, bananas, ice cream, chocolate frosting and other such items. I commented on how they were going to make all of us fat with such temptations and I resolved to not touch any of the food in that fridge.

My friend and I walked outside and headed back to the university. At the corner she was acting odd and I realized she was late for something. She said she was late for a workout with a friend. I remember thinking I had to go, too, and liked to workout but then recognized I didn’t really want to go. I let her leave and continued to walk, feeling still very different and wondering where I was going next now that I was “different”. I still felt very out of it, like I had been asleep for a very long time and had just awakened to myself. I continued to try to get my bearings as I awoke.

The Time is at Hand

When I awoke I had a knowing that I needed to make changes to my life. I was not scared of this just feeling I needed to begin to think about what I wanted and where I wanted to go in life. I recognized the first dream about college was related to a previous dream where I had been told testing occurred after vacation, not before. It occurred to me that I was nearing this vacation’s end and that “testing” would soon begin.

My first thought was to scan the internet for schools that would help me utilize my spiritual gifts. I had no idea where to look or what kind of school to look for, though. I quickly abandoned the idea, remembering my failure at previously trying to utilize my spiritual gifts.

The next Idea was to find a different counseling job. I realized I could do this and could start looking now. It was a real possibility that I could acquire a much better position for more pay. This appealed to me but then I remembered that I wanted to have time with my children. Yet part of me was already thinking about this option and how I could utilize my current job to give me experience in certain areas that would make me more appealing to prospective employers. I recalled my desire to be with my kids, though, and began to withdraw from this idea, knowing it was more of the same path I had already been upon for my entire life.

I then returned to the idea of exploring the option of the spiritual path. I recognized that it was not necessary to have a “plan”. I only needed intention. As I contemplate this now, I am aware that if I choose to focus upon my current, already established career, that I will be successful and do well financially but I will not feel complete or fulfilled. That path is clearly visible in my mind. If I choose to go the other route and follow where my heart leads I will feel more fulfilled, though the path is not clear to me at all. There is an unknown here the worries me even though I am confident that my finances will not be harmed. It is clear to me, however, that this unknown path is the better one.

The only way out is through. Though the familiar path leads you to safety, it also continues a perpetual cycle. The path unknown breaks the cycle and leads to possibility. Which one will you choose?

by

Broken Treadmill

I was awakened at 1am by two screaming children. My husband was sick with a cold and could not help. I ended up not being able to return to sleep for some time afterward. I am not sure when I fell asleep but I finally did.

Suicidal Student

I had a dream about a young, African American man. He was 21 but still in high school. He had a bad reputation and everyone, even the teachers, let him get away with pretty much everything because they were afraid of him. He did not do “bad” things really but did play jokes and act foolishly, often teasing others or pushing the limits to see what he could get away with. I was an administrator who witnessed him pushing the limits in a negative way. He was doing things that we very inappropriate for school and I called him on it and then sent him to the principal, which had never happened to him. He was sent back to class without any punishment but I made sure to continue to hold him accountable. The other students at first did not stand up to him, but eventually they did.

Eventually the classroom environment shifted to a parking lot and the student was in a black car. The scene was very dark and it was not easy to see. The student appeared out of character and I knew he needed help. I was searching for him and telling the other students to find him. I remember telling them, “You notice how wide eyed and frantic he was? He overdosed on some drug. He is spinning out of control and going to kill himself”. I recognized that me setting boundaries for him pushed him into a zone he could not handle and that he was trying to escape the confusion it caused him. He had never had boundaries, though he wanted them badly because they showed that others cared about him. I identified a part of myself in him.

I suddenly wanted to save him from himself and got the other student to help me. We cornered him, even though he attempted to drive through us, damaging several cars. In the end, though, I was able to stop him from destroying himself. I felt compassion for him rather than contempt. I wanted to help him move past his fear of himself.

Broken Treadmill

The scene remained dark but the story changed. The student was still involved but instead of being suicidal he was now fessing up to the bad things he had done. He had damaged my treadmill and I was attempting to fix it. My husband was there and tinkered with it, asking me to try it out. I raised the incline and turned it to speed 2. The treadmill lurched and the belt began to move at a very high speed, much faster than the 2mph it was set to. I stepped back and watched as the belt began to bunch up and then buckled. The treadmill made a loud noise and I quickly turned it off. It was broken.

I discussed my options with someone who I did not see in the dream. It was a female and I suspect she is one of my guides. I told her I could 1. Replace the treadmill with a new or used one, 2. Run outside and not buy a new treadmill (this one my husband would prefer) or 3. Attempt to fix my current treadmill. I seemed to like option #3 but I remember putting quite a bit of thought into what I could do.

I got onto the treadmill again hoping that it had miraculously fixed itself. At first it seemed to be working but it began to lurch and make odd noises again, so I got off very quickly and saw that the belt was beginning to move very fast and starting to buckle again. The treadmill was shot and there was nothing I could do. I had to make a decision. What would I do?

As I began to wake up, I heard a woman’s voice call me by my name but something was wrong about it. The last name was “Cook”. It perplexed me. Why was she giving me that last name? Did that indicate that I would one day have a new last name? The thought of that had me worried. Was I going to one day be married again?

Reflection

I awoke and thought about my dreams for some time. The first dream was uplifting even though the characters in it seemed dark and depressing. I believe the young man represented not only my past but also myself in many ways. I recognized myself in him during the dream and attempted to save him. I successfully “saved” him in the end, finding compassion for him (myself) which indicates I have come to a point in my own spiritual progress where I am beginning to be compassionate toward myself. This is HUGE for me because I am very self-critical.

The second dream was the most vivid and reminded me of a recent OBE I had where I was talking to one of my neighbors about her treadmill. She was selling it and I told her I didn’t need it but that mine was old. I looked up the symbolism of treadmill and found that it means one is “stuck in an old routine” and not making progress. It indicates change is needed for progress to be made. This symbolism seems applicable to my dream and the choices I was having to make about whether I would replace the treadmill or not. The fact that the treadmill was breaking/broken indicates I am recognizing the need for change.

I never made a decision in the dream but did seem interested in the option to buy a new one or fix it. I was not as interested in the option of not replacing it and just running outside. This suggests that there is something in my routine I desire to keep.

by

Contract

Yesterday, for our 7th anniversary, my husband and I decided to try indoor skydiving. I actually had the idea pop into my head about a week ago. It kept coming to me so I told my husband and he set it up. He was really excited about it. I was a bit nervous but I kept hearing my guide encourage me to do it so I went ahead.

When we got to the facility I was nervous and my palms got all cold and clammy. I hate it when that happens. All the others in our group were kids, too, which was weird. The instructor was a blonde woman from Australia and very likeable.  She immediately reassured me that I would do good saying women are the best flyers. By the time we were waiting our turn in the wind tunnel waiting area I was calm. I kept thinking, “I do this all the time in my dreams” and also decided that I would just do breathing and relaxation techniques while flying because the instructor said relaxing was the key to good flight.

When it was my turn I just jumped in and at first was unsteady but found it felt a lot like being in a deep pool of water. The air folded around me like a blanket. I felt so light! It so reminded me of times when I would fly through the sky in astral. If only the tunnel sides had projected blue skies with clouds, it would have been just the same feeling!

On the my second turn I did much better and was able to maintain flight on my own and even go higher. I noticed I kept holding my breath and had to remind myself to breath more than once. The master instructor asked me if I wanted a trip high up into the tunnel. I had watched him take flyers and spin them circularly all the way up and down two to three times. The speed of the wind was also increased and the flyers I saw doing it, including my husband, looked to be completely thrilled throughout it. So, I agreed to let him take me for a “spin”.

He barely touched me and I began to spin very fast and then I felt him grab hold of me and the circular spinning motion intensified. I went so fast I began to scream from the thrill of it. I could not see much as I spun, but it didn’t matter, it was so freeing and wonderful! I could have stayed in there for much longer than my 2 minutes.

My guide was right. This was a good experience for me and my husband. I have not had that much fun with him in a long time.

Dream: Daddy’s Missing

I went to bed last night and set an intention. I stated: “I want to work on healing my past (memory inserted of past life). I want to experience what I can of this OOB if possible”.

I fell asleep quickly. I had a dream about my father but I never once saw him in my dreams. Instead, I got news that my father was missing and had been missing for over a year. He had been overseas on an island country doing work. He had an apartment and everything but had just up and vanished one day. In the dream I recall that he had come to my high school graduation but I had not seen him since.

There was an investigation. I remember seeing the ocean and crossing it, going to an island. I drew in closer to the island and went to my father’s apartment. I looked around and through his things. His phone was there and I noticed it was out of service. I looked through his bed sheets and under the mattress. I found a book under the mattress and opened it up to find some slips of paper that he had written on. One was scribblings and the other had numbers as if he were doing accounting. I remember the numbers very vividly. It was amounts of money in the thousands with deductions in the hundreds. I concluded that he had lost money on a job but do not remember what I concluded about the rest of it.

His apartment rent had been paid for and had been for a year despite him being missing. Everything was where he had left it, untouched. I found this perplexing and walked around a bit, talking to the landlord who explained that my father had made sure that everything was paid for while he was gone. I went back to his phone and found it reactivated. This gave me hope.

mainpuraOBE: Contract

I awoke from this dream to sounds of two screaming children. My oldest son was crying for daddy and my baby was downstairs trying to get up. I went and got the baby and soothed him and put my toddler back to bed. It was 6:00am and so I went back to sleep.

Within minutes it seemed I was back in dreamland but this time I was lucid and becoming more so. I felt sluggish and heavy but separate from my physical body. I recognized I was in bed with my husband and we were talking about something. He said to me, “You forgot to sign” and put in front of me a paper with lots of typed words and a signature line that was highlighted.

I looked at it and knew it was a contract of some kind. I then saw my signature was already there and said to him, “I already signed, see?” I showed him my signature. Then I looked and saw that the other side of the opened “book” had an identical contract on it. This one was my husband’s. I said to him, “You are the one who hasn’t signed yet” and pointed to the highlighted signature line showing him it was blank.

I then felt my energy shift and then shift again. It felt like part of me was being pushed or nudged in one direction while another part of me was staying still. This was a bit unsettling but it caused me to gain more awareness and I wanted that. I could not see well but I could feel my body and the bed. I then willed for my husband to touch me. I wanted to feel it and so know what I was experiencing was real.

I soon felt a hand cover my own. For some reason my hand felt very small, like a child’s and the hand that covered mine also did. I closed my fingers around the hand tightly and felt a wonderful energy pouring into me. I let the energy flow up into my midsection and enjoyed it for a moment. Then I felt a hand touch my side. It was warm and larger than the child’s hand I had been clasping. I turned around and my astral vision came on suddenly. I saw next to me a man with golden skin. It was shimmering and sparkly, like he was more energy than form. He was not wearing any clothing so his entire body was this gold, shimmering energy. He was smiling and sitting very close to me. I expected to see my husband, since that is who I had been talking to about signing the contract. That is who I saw at first, and I was filled with happiness. But as I looked closer, trying to make out his features, his face shifted and blurred, looking to be several faces in one.

I did not care who it was that was with me, I just knew he was part of me and wonderful. I fell into his gold, shimmering arms and felt them wrap around me. When we embraced, the wonderful energy poured into me again. I kept waiting for it to shoot up through my heart and crown but it never did. Instead it settled in my mid-section and radiated outward. It was a different feeling than what I have felt come from my heart. I felt safe and loved and the feeling was warm and comforting. It said to me, “I am here. Everything is okay”.

As is normal for me when I come in direct contact with my guide, I began to gain awareness very quickly and all at once. I immediately lost the safe feeling as the energy shifted and I came quickly back into my physical body/awareness. I opened my eyes and was not upset that I was waking but I did feel spiritually tired and depleted, not wanting to return to physical reality.

Husband’s Dream

I asked my husband if he had any dreams about me and he stated that he did. He told me that in his dream I was his instructor and teaching him how to fly. I told him about my OBE and the contract he had yet to sign. I asked him if he thought maybe he was deciding if he wanted to learn from me since he had a dream about me being his instructor. He thought maybe he was. I find it interesting that he had his dream at the same time I had my OBE.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 5

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 9:30pm

Time to wake: 6:00am; 7:30am

Meditation?: None

Physical Exercise?: Indoor skydiving

Mood: normal to low

Body: headache, lower back ache

Tiredness: Moderate

Number of wakings: 2

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: stomach

Supplements: Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Benadryl 25mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg