Category Archives: Dreams

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Five OBE’s

I was awakened at 6:30am by my middle child looking for me. I did not want to get up but followed him down the stairs and saw that my mother-in-law had been at our home but was not there at present. Her stuff was there, though, and our baby was gone. I assumed she was out shopping and would be back so let my son play and went back upstairs. I asked my oldest, who was awake, to go down with him and I curled up in her bed.

First OBE

I fell back to sleep easily and suddenly found myself fully aware in the midst of a sexual dream. I was in my bed with my husband about to do “the deed” but when I looked up to see him this old, gray haired, skinny, wrinkly guy was staring at me with a smile on his face. I wondered who he was but couldn’t place him. He did not scare me until he pointed down to his manhood. When I looked down I saw this huge penis that had to be three feet long. I immediately popped back into my body and then lay there, eyes closed wondering what had just happened.

Second OBE

I must have fallen back to sleep and was immediately back OOB. This time my vision was gone and I was alone. I knew that I needed to open up my root chakra so my energy would flow better and I could stay OOB. I don’t know how I knew this, though. I felt around and found a wall and pressed up against it. When I did, I felt my root chakra activate a little but I tried not to focus on it. Instead I was just waiting, as if knowing something was about to happen.

I felt the familiar shift in energy that says I have moved from one location to another. I don’t know how this happened or when, it just did. I found myself in my bedroom again and immediately moved toward the door to leave. I do not remember the room much except that it was my bedroom. What is odd is that the bed was on the wrong side of the room.

stormcloudsI flew down our stairs to the living area below. That is when the lights seemed to come on and my vision became clear and vivid. Everything was shifty, though, as if it were not real and was in the process of being created. I saw my mother-in-law and two oldest children. I also saw furniture all over that was not ours. It very gaudy looking with large, print flowers in bright colors. I looked specifically at a loveseat that was green with tiny white flowers on it.

My daughter was yelling something at me, trying to get my attention. She was excited and running around me, as was my son. This is common and can be quite irritating but I just ignored it and looked for the front door. When I found it I intended to open it but never did, I just went to the other side of it.

When I went outside I encountered an unfamiliar scene. There was snow on the ground and I could see houses with pointed roofs spread out in front of me. I was in a subdivision but not the one I live in in real life. The houses were identical and also multicolored. Some pink, others red, some yellow, others blue. They were not as bright as the furniture inside the house, though. This might have been because the sky was gloomy and heavy with clouds. If I could have felt the temperature it would have been very cold.

I looked around for a moment and then lifted up and took flight. I didn’t know where to go, so I just hovered over the tops of the houses for a while. Then I noticed the one house across the street from mine was broken. It actually looked like pieces of a puzzle. I could see entire sections in 3D and see the furniture and fixtures inside each piece. I flew closer to inspect and tried to stop but I felt swept away by something/someone. I got a communication not to inspect the home that was without words. I ignored it, slowed down, and attempted to touch the top of one of the pieces of the home. The roof peeled away revealing another roof. The whole time I could feel my astral body being pulled away from the piece. I remember saying to the voiceless voice something about how it wasn’t right for the roof to peel away.

I guess I did the wrong thing because I felt the familiar pull back to my body.

Third OBEwhite kitten

I immediately intended to return and found myself back inside my bed in my bedroom. I could see the green colored covers of our quilt and a woman was standing next to me, talking to me. She presented me with a tiny, white kitten. I focused upon the kitten, feeling its soft fur and snuggling with it. I saw its tiny little eyes and ears and looked at its tummy as I scratched it. It was the sweetest thing! The whole time the woman stayed with me, talking, but I don’t remember what she said as I was too focused on the kitten. However, towards the end of petting the kitten I heard my daughter say, “She can’t have a cookie!” and I saw in my mind a round, sugar cookie. I also knew that the cookie was special and if eaten would take the person to glorious worlds.

Fourth OBE

Again, I felt the familiar sensation of returning to my body but immediately intended to return and so I did. I was again in my bedroom and rather than stick around for more kittens and talk of cookies, I flew up and out of my bed. I went to the window and could not see out of it. I set the intention to leave and the next thing I knew I was outside the house at the front door staring at the same snow covered ground and multicolored houses with pointed roofs.

I again flew up and over the tops of the houses. This time I was singing, but now I can’t remember what I was singing. I do remember catching myself singing and thinking how I was making up the song as I went. It made me smile.

As I lifted higher I made sure not to go too high, remembering how I would often times be swept up and out into space, which I didn’t like to do. I never knew where to go once that high and it always resulted in an end to my OBE. So I traveled over the tops of the houses until the scene changed to that of a city. I could see the gray colored rooftops of buildings spread out below me. Even though I was singing and happy, the scene continued to seem shifty and gray. If I looked too hard at something it would ripple as if the image were not real but just a holograph.

I came to a brown wood building, I think it was a church, and decided to settle down on the ground. I walked along the streets for a while and stopped singing when I spotted a group of thugs bullying a young man. There was about five of them, all wearing dark sweatshirts with hoods. They were also all dark complected. The young man they were bullying was wearing similar attire and was also dark complected. I could hear them shouting at each other and the leader of the group held a metal stick of some sort in his hand.

I immediately flew over and landed right in front of the group between them and their prey. I could see their faces clearly and looked from one to the other. The leader looked familiar to me and I recognized him to be someone I knew. I was shocked that he would be doing something so awful and remembered a similar shock I had when I knew him in this life. As I looked at his face, it shifted like everything else, but I remembered his name and felt sad for him. In real life I watched him change from a promising young man into a dark, angry one. I remember thinking it sad that he had all this light yet was allowing himself to be overcome with darkness.

I grabbed the metal stick out of his hand and yelled at him to leave the guy alone, telling him he knew better. The metal staff was in fact a fire poker and the pointed tip came inches from his nose. They all smirked at me but the leader backed off and the young man they were taunting took off in the other direction.

Fifth OBE

I stayed in the street for some time but what I did is lost to me. It seems that I lost interest in the OBE at some point, though, and came back into my body. I stayed there for a while, wondering what time it was and feeling an urge to wake up, but I was not ready to yet. I wanted to go back and look for my grandmother. Surely if I was encountering people in astral I could find her since she had been so close to me these last few days?

Within moments of setting my intention, I left my body and found myself standing once again at the door to my home. As I went through the door I thought, “There will be no snow” and sure enough I saw bare ground. Yet this time there was an eerie silence that surrounded me and everything. The sky was still gray but as I looked about the scene changed and the sky was blocked from my vision. Instead of being in the subdivision as before I was standing inside what appeared to be an atrium made of metal and glass that rose hundreds of feet above me. I could see that the structure was huge and completely enclosed. I knew I would likely find no way out.

I flew up, watching the gray metal beams continue despite how high I flew. I searched for people, for movement, but found none. All I saw were more metal beams supporting massive amounts of glass. I called out, “Nanny!” several times, but my voice just echoed, unheard.

At some point I reached the top of wherever I was. I felt hope then and soared up and looked down below me at the conglomeration of metal and glass. The sky brought more light to my vision and I recognized that I had felt suppressed, almost claustrophobic, up until this point.

Then I saw motion below me. I spied a woman with short, dark hair wearing a gray blue jogging suit running along the top of one of the metal and glass buildings. I flew down towards her yelling,”Nanny?”

When I reached her she stopped and looked at me. I saw her face, shifty like the others and like everything else. She at first appeared medium skinned with a deeply etched wrinkled face. She was definitely not my grandmother but she was old. I again asked, “Nanny?” She just looked at me and her face shifted to a lighter color but the wrinkles remained. I asked her, “Have you seen my Nanny?” She replied, “No. I haven’t seen anyone around here”. She mumbled something else and then looked straight at me and asked, “Do you really want to kill yourself?” Shocked at her question, I pulled back and away from her. Then I awoke suddenly in my body and immediately opened my eyes. I again felt a need to get up, so I did. It was 8:30am.

Reflection

In considering these OBE’s, I am certain I was in the lower astral plane somewhere. I was not in a horrible place but it was definitely not as wonderful as places I have been in the past. The part that sticks out to me the most is how shifty the images were. They appeared clear at first but the more I focused upon them, the more they shifted and changed. Because of this I feel that all of it was a reflection of myself, even the people I met up with. I don’t know what to make of my experiences this morning except that I was being shown aspects of myself that need tending to. I withdrew from the last experience the most because the question asked was so forward and unexpected. I wish I could have stayed and told the woman, “No” and explained, but I guess that was not meant to be.

by

Beach

 

Summer break is almost over. My daughter starts 1st grade on Monday and my son has been attending a part-time Montessori school since the beginning of August. I begin my new counseling job on the 1st and I am not looking forward to it. I wish I could stop time and just maintain what I have now, but that is not how it works.

Beach

Last night I had dreams that I think reflected some of my concerns about moving forward. In one particularly vivid dream I was asked to cook for a large, church gathering. I decided to cook a very large meatloaf. I The meatloaf was at least two feet long and six inches wide! There is more to the dream but I do not wish to recount it at this time.

However, I did have a very vivid beach dream. In the dream I initially found myself in a large school building. It was for grades K-5. I walked through the halls, not knowing where to go. I had come in as expected but had no idea where to go or what to do.

I went into a classroom where some high school aged kids were sitting and working on an assignment. It was a history class. A dark haired girl sat across from the others and separate. She was antsy and not able to stay focused. I volunteered to help her work through the questions one by one. She accepted my help. The teacher sat behind the desk and as I was leaving I saw what looked like a dead bug and told him about it. When I looked closer, it was the remains of a brown, dried out Christmas tree.

I looked for my boss but he was busy so I went into the lounge. Inside opened up to this beautiful beach. The ocean went for miles out and the sky was vivid blue. The beach stretched as far as my eyes could see and there were families and children playing in the sand and in the water. To my right I could see mountains in the distance and a carnival set up. To my left was just more beach.

I took pictures of the ocean with my phone but had trouble keeping the people out of the pictures. One little brown haired girl kept getting in the way. Her mother, a pretty blond, sat on the beach and smiled at me. The entire scene made me feel calm and I wanted to stay. I also got a bit confused. Wasn’t I just in a school? I woke up after that, most likely because the confusion brought me too quickly to full consciousness.

This dream is likely a reflection of my concerns about returning to work. Not only am I going to be working primarily with younger children but I am not sure of where to go or what to do when I arrive on my first day. Christmas trees are a reflection of my feelings about relationships and family. Since it is dead, it is likely there is anxiety coming to the surface regarding these things. The beach represents a meeting of mental and spiritual energies and a transition between the material and spiritual. Looking out at the ocean and along the beach is representative of the unknown, major changes about to occur in my life. Because I am calm, the beach suggests the next few weeks will also be calm.Unfortunately, the carnival could mean there is deception and that falsehoods exist. It can also indicate that what is thought to be a good thing actually is a bad thing. 


 Who Am I? 

When I woke up this morning I was not in a good mood. I sense more difficult lessons ahead for me and I am not looking forward to them. What they will be, I don’t know, but I do not feel excited as I should. Instead I want to withdraw and hide. I feel that I could retreat but ultimately I will not feel much better about doing so and that the lessons will occur despite me trying to avoid them.

There exists much hopelessness and lack of motivation inside me. I do not understand it completely but I feel it comes from recognizing that I have come into this life primarily to assist others and that my own, personal goals and aspirations will fall short. It seems to be my nature to want recognition and because of that I will get little to none. Knowing this creates such a loss in me. I do not know how to overcome it. I know I should find my happiness in the successes of others, but I do not. I feel so horribly flawed and guilty about being so selfish. I also know, deep inside, that I am very different than this when not in a body. Why is it so hard to be the real me? 

I recognize my internal conflict on a daily basis. It is the classic “devil on one shoulder, angel on the other” scenario. I know I am not alone in feeling and experiencing this constant struggle with myself, yet I do anyway. A part of me seems out to sabotage everything my true self desires. Ego I guess, but giving it a name matters not. I honestly do not want to live another life like this. I so hope that whatever lessons I came here to learn, I learn well so I don’t have to do this again.

by

Music of the Night

As I was laying in bed last night trying to go to sleep, I began to see images flash through my mind. This is not unusual. It typically means I am nearing sleep and sometimes it means I am nearing the point where I can exit my body. I began seeing images of people and things long ago after my spiritual awakening, so I am use to having these things occur. However, the frequency of such occurrences has decreased significantly since 2007. I guess because I have been so busy creating and raising a family.

Inner Childlittle-angel-wallpaper_1280x1024_78423

I really took no notice of the images because I was talking to one of my guides as I drifted off to sleep. We were discussing my current concern about not enjoying life. I started the conversation but it felt as if it were one that had been started previously, though I had no memory of it. When I brought up the question of how I could enjoy life more and my guide told me that I needed to find her, the me buried deep inside who held my joy. When he said this, I knew he meant what many call the “inner child” – the one who feels joy, loves life and lives in the moment. I also thought of my 4 month old son and how he was pure joy to me.

When I recognized what my guide was saying, I noticed emotion begin to well up from within. However, rather than be overwhelmed with it, I merely saw it there and made it stay. I did not allow myself to feel it. This was odd to me as it seemed that I could see it there within me, a ball of greenish-blue, swirling color. If I touched it with my mind, I would feel the emotion. If I let it go, I merely knew it was there. When I questioned my guide about it, he said I could control my emotion and I understood that I could. It was very interesting to me. I remembered in my early astral travels how I had to control my emotion or else I would not maintain astral. Perhaps I could do the same in life?

Visit

The conversation continued and I must have started to doze. That is when the images became more clear. I don’t remember most of them but I do remember the last one. As I saw it I mentally exclaimed, “That was Nanny!”.

The image I saw was of my grandmother with her back to me. I saw her hair pulled up in a bun like she always wore it, I could even make out the streaks of gray in her fading brown hair.

Excited, I wondered if she were there and immediately knew she was. I said to my guide, “She’s here, isn’t she?” Without waiting for an answer, I began to talk to her. It was not long before I heard her reply, “I miss you”.

After acknowledging her and perceiving her message, I began to allow myself to drift back to sleep. I was still thinking about what my guide and I had been talking about. He was telling me, “We will help you”. I was asking if I could change my astral experiences so that I could learn how to release my inner child. My guide mentioned family and as if he and I became one, I knew that my family would come to visit my dreams. I specifically thought of those that were living and began to fantasize about astral traveling with them, especially with my baby boy.

It was at that time that my thoughts were interrupted by a voice calling my name. It was very loud, as if I were being yelled at. The sound of my name being yelled startled me. I instantly recognized that my grandmother had called my name. I told her, “You don’t have to yell. You scare me when you do that. You made my heart pound!”.

I immediately felt her close and knew she was with me. My heart continued to pound, but not because I was scared but because I had experienced something so rare. Not only was it my own family member who was trying to contact me, which is rare in itself, but the way she went about it was new and unusual even for Spirit who is not family.

What was new about it? Yes I hear Spirit often but 99% of the time it is as if it is my own thought. The voice comes from within me yet is separate. It took me a long time to learn to differentiate between my own thoughts and those of Spirit. I am pretty adept at it now and my guide tells me they choose to speak with me this way for two reasons: 1. I can hear them that way and 2. It takes more energy and effort on Spirit’s part to make themselves more noticeable. I also, personally, think they don’t want to scare me or freak me out as it always makes my heart pound. It is similar to how one would feel if they were in bed trying to sleep and a strange voice yelled at them.

I will try to explain how I heard my name called but it is difficult. It echoed in my head rather than coming from outside of me and sounded as if it moved from one side of my head to the other, mimicking someone walking around behind me. It was also very distinctly female. I have heard something similar in movies when they try to replicate what it might sound like if someone were hearing voices. It was very similar so whoever came up with that did a good job of replicating it.

After finally calming down from the initial surprise and awe of being spoken to this way, I settled down and began to talk with my grandmother. I figured she must have something to say if she was going to yell at me, you know?

We talked for quite a while. She told me how smart she thought I was and how much she loved me and missed me. I told her I was not excited about starting my new job in two weeks and she said, “You are smart” as if that were going to dissolve all my concerns. She also indicated that I was worrying over something I should not, especially my worry about working with young children. The image she sent me in my mind was older children – tweens mostly.

My grandmother seemed different from when we last talked which was about a week after her death this past May. I asked her about it because she was so bubbly and happy then and now she seemed more calm and focused. She explained to me that it was still her and that when I last spoke to her she was reveling in the feeling that comes when a person is released from the burden of life and body. She explained that the feeling is such a release that there is a celebration of being reunited with the true Self. She then told me that our true nature is joy. When we return Home we remember that and overflow with ourselves.

We continued to talk for a while after that. It was very obvious to me that she and I were more connected than I ever thought. I did not feel a strong connection with her in this life. I loved her, yes, but I did not trust her and felt a distance between us. She told me that was okay and said, “We are friends”. I knew instantly that she was my soul family. I thought how odd it was that I never felt that in life. I also realized that she was able to speak to me more than my other family in Spirit because I did not grieve her passing like they did. Rather than being hurt by it, she took advantage of it so that she could speak with me. I asked her to continue talking with me in my dreams because I needed to rest. Unfortunately, I could not fall asleep. I kept feeling like I would be missing something if I did sleep.

The Music of the Night

When I did finally fall asleep, I was awakened by my baby crying and had to spend a while walking him in the carriage to get him to go back to sleep. Then my other son woke up. I ended up awake for about a half hour.

When I did fall asleep I found myself in a mansion. I was dressed in 19th century clothing and wore a white, lace shawl over my shoulders. I heard a woman who was with me call me, “Mistress”. I knew instantly that she was the nanny to my child, though I did not see my child.

A man, my husband I presume, came in and was very abrupt in his speaking. He ordered us to wait for him while he was at court and then he left. I remember thinking it was normal for him to go to court. He was also dressed in similar period  clothing to my own – a shirt with an over-sized white collar and tan, embroidered vest.

When left alone, the nanny and I began to talk. I don’t remember what we spoke about but I do believe she was my grandmother from this life, whoalso took care of children. She even appeared similarly, with dark brown, wavy hair.

I remember we went up and down a spiral staircase and then she began to sing. I recognized the song and sang with her, but mostly listened to her. As she sang, we were transported into a cave with tunnels. She stood at the edge of a clear pool of water in the cave as she sang. It had moss and other aquatic plants in it and I could see aquarium fish in it – large, red guppies specifically.

I knew my grandmother was singing “The Music of the Night” from The Phantom of the Opera. I began singing along during phantomone of the times when the song hit a high note. My grandmother sang a lower note and I knew it was because she always sang alto and that I was suppose to sing soprano. I then looked at the pond and said it was beautiful and pointed out the red guppy. It came to the surface as if it thought I were feeding it. It was much larger than it should have been, at least the length of one of my fingers.

I awoke intent on finding the lyrics to the song and when I heard it I got goose bumps all over. I am familiar with the song from my high school days. We played it in marching band. I never learned the words, though. I am not certain of the message but I know that music plays a very important role in my life, both here and on the Other Side. It fills me with joy and being that is what I was talking with my guides about before bed, I am certain they wanted me to remember and tap into that joy.

by

Haunted School

 

Babies and Housesbaby-angel-13

I found myself traveling by car to the countryside. I recall thinking that I was traveling to where I once lived and took note of the changes I saw around me. There were new, very nice homes where once trees and grass had been. The houses had good sized yards and paved driveways.

I went into the driveway of a small home. It had a chain link fence surrounding it and a paved driveway but the home itself was not very spectacular. It was at this point that I recognized I was not alone and my husband had been driving. We were there for him and I had just gone along for the ride.

We sat down at a metal picnic table which was located outside in the pavilion, a large, open structure with a metal roof. The family was composed of many generations, specifically the a mother and father with their daughter and grand children. I remember that we were talking about my husband’s work and the transportation of these families to and from the job site. I recall that the family we were talking with were very poor and Hispanic and the new baby was premature. When I looked at the baby he was very tiny and his facial features were not normal. It actually looked like his entire face was covered in burn scars. Yet as I watched him be handed to his mother, I noticed that he looked more normal and saw her other children were just fine. I figured it was just how this woman’s children looked as babies.

It was then that my husband directed our attention to the transportation and a truck with a long, flatbed trailer attached. The trailer had a bunch of people standing up on it and I was told this was the way they go in and out of town and to work. I noticed that it was raining and asked, “Is this the way you get to work? What do you do when it is raining?” Someone in the family said it was not bad since the distance between home and work was not great.

At that point, my husband and I went to our car. It moved at the touch and my husband instructed the woman on how to control it externally. I watched as they manipulated the silver Prius, as if I were also learning how to control it.

We eventually got into the car and left, heading towards our old house. I remember thinking about where we were going and perceiving what we would see before we got there. In my mind I saw a new home built where once there had been a pond. Sure enough, when we got there the pond was gone and there was a new home. It was at that time that I began to regret selling our home, noting how many new homes were in the area and recognizing how sought-after country living really was.

This dream symbolizes my struggle and acceptance of the changes I recently brought into my life. The new baby being deformed especially stood out and symbolizes that these new beginnings are considered negative but slowly being accepted by me.

Haunted School

I believe I woke up at this time and then fell back to sleep. When I did, I was with a group of school children and teachers and we were headed toward an old, abandoned school. I remember telling them that they should be careful as I had seen a documentary about the school and the evil spirits that haunted it. I told them how many people had been hurt who visited it and that there had been accidents that killed. No one seemed to believe me, laughing at what I said and shrugging it off. I felt very concerned but knew I would be okay because I knew how to handle myself. So I agreed to go along with them to the school.

The old school had been abandoned because the structure was unsafe and too expensive to keep up. The outside was crumbling in places and I showed a student how the bricks would just fall off. The student, fascinated, took one and saved it as a souvenir.

There were children everywhere and they seemed to be middle school aged. I had a feeling of anxiety the entire time – worry over what might happen to one of them. The front doors of the school were open and the kids and other teachers went inside. I again cautioned them, but they didn’t listen.

Inside, the kids wandered about and I recall seeing something out of place. There was this conveyor belt machine and the kids were playing with it. The belt led to a chute that was filled with water. The water tumbled out and went into a larger chute that was churning. It was a death trap!

One of the kids was playing with the conveyor belt and his lanyard got caught in it. The belt pulled him towards the chute and he was sucked into the water. Another kid was right behind him. I was horrified. I ran to the end and saw they were both fine and having a great time, yelling and laughing in the water. To them it was a fun ride. I still worried someone would get hurt.

I followed students into the cafeteria of the old school. I was surprised to find that they had prepared food and the cafeteria was full of people eating and having a good time. I noted how familiar it was and a little part of me felt relaxed for the first time. I went to an area where there were boxes of food items for sale. I immediately wanted the candy bars but they only sold them in packs of 10 for a dollar. I found some Milky Way bars for 10 cents each and grabbed two. I recall reading the nutrition info that said each bar was 50 calories, 3 fat, and 1 carbohydrate. I did not stay, though, and left, still feeling the safest place for me was outside of the haunted school. I could not wait to get out of there.

This dream symbolizes my resistance to my past. It suggests that I am still in the process of learning a lesson and there is repressed emotion remaining that I am resistant to. There is a hint of communication and consideration that the experience could be fun if I allowed it to be. I need to stop worrying and be less fearful of the unknown.