Yeshua Returns

After the intense Kundalini rising episode, I began to Remember the backstory.

Though I recall the dream in vivid detail, I recalled that I was once again with the three Beings who gave me the name Yeshua the last time they were with me. I saw very vividly the bright light hanging in the night sky and remember once again staring at it while They “worked” on me. The white star, or whatever it is, seems to mesmerize me in such a way that I become “frozen” – unable to physically move or wake up in my body.

I recognized the energy of these three Beings when I awoke. I knew they were facilitating the Kundalini energy. But how?

They told me that they use crystals and that these crystals magnify the electromagnetic field (aura?) to the point that it forces “balance” in the vortexes (chakras) of this field.

Then I recalled that prior to the coffin dream and K energy, I had been in conversation with my Council. I only recall talking to one person, but this one spoke for them all. I was in deep conversation with them; a conversation about my lack of will to live and my feeling of being “done” with life. This perfectly aligns with the symbolism of the coffin from the dream.

Another part of the conversation I had been having with my Council was some kind of activation. It involved DNA/RNA but I don’t know or remember enough about it to really understand or explain it now. I recall shifting into another “body” – going back and forth between my current body and this new one. The feeling of the memory is odd. Indescribable.

I am beginning to shake uncontrollably as I type this and my heart is lighting up and I am suddenly very, very scared. It is an illogical fear for I am completely safe, sitting here at my computer. Yet my heart says, “Run as fast as you can”. Ugh!

Whoever these Beings are who are helping me scare the bejesus out of me. Yet I know that I have nothing to fear. I also feel very strongly that my time with them is far from over. They are going to keep coming back, or I am going to keep going to Them. I don’t know what to do with the emotions that come with this realization. There is nowhere to run to. Nowhere to hide. What do They want?

I keep going to my heart center but that is where They are!

I am at a point now (again) that I really want all of this to just go away. Unfortunately, I know this won’t happen.

Message from the Council of Many: Port-holes are Available

You are growing. Like a sapling. Like a tree. The nutrients you need are always provided, yet sometimes you will not drink of the love provided. It is love that is your greatest sustenance. Why do you not drink of it?

Do you not see the lacking of love within you? It is in lack that you have grown forgetful and with every lost memory of your Self, of your origins, that lacking grows and becomes ever more emboldened within you. This is where Darkness thrives. Do not be a nurturer of Darkness, of the lacking of love.

Port-holes are available. From these openings of love…which, by the way are located within you, at such a deep level that most are unaware of their existence….you can draw forth more of your Self. You can drink of the love that is You. We are providing you evidence of these port-holes. All you need do is listen. Feel. Breathe. And from there you will enter. Admittance is always free. There is no charge. There is no loss. There are no repercussions. Only finding Self. Finding You.

You ask about the Fear. What is it? How can you defeat it? This is a question often asked and the answer is simple for if you find your Self – Love – then fear is nothing but an afterthought, a candle in the wind. When you are Love, there is no room for fear. That is your answer. Simple, is it not?

You have been so long without Love, without the feeling – the Being of – embodiment of love, that you have forgotten how it feels. With this forgetfulness often arises fear for the human fears what they do not understand. It is such that we are asking that you bypass the human emotions for Hue-man Knowing. There is a difference here – a very obvious difference. For Knowing is feeling without immersion, without becoming feeling. It is the lack of reaction to feeling. It is objectivity and understanding…the reciprocity of Self and Experience.

We will continue to come to you, to offer you our assistance and foster your growth. It is with great anticipation that we await your return.

Becoming Whole

At around 5pm CST I received the first of several blasts of energy to my heart center. They did not last long, the longest lasting maybe a few minutes.

All this happened when I was watching T.V. and alone. I had the house to myself and was enjoying just being. This is when my attention was suddenly diverted from the T.V. to my left. I swear I felt/heard/sensed someone trying to get my attention. Then came the heart blast. I smiled from ear to ear.

During maybe the third or fourth heart blast I heard very loudly, “Did you miss me?” This shocked me for it seemed to come from within and without at the same time. Usually I can determine a direction and locate where the message is coming from, but this one seemed to originate from within me, from within my very center. Woah.

This startled me to the point that I began to panic a bit. I was reminded to stay out of my mind and when I did that and focused back on my heart the energy there increased and I calmed substantially.

I recognized the voice and the feeling behind it as that of my Companion. So quiet these last few weeks it was/is nice to have communication from him again.

Every once in a while I will convince myself that I am insane and that this entire experience I am having is some kind of psychotic break with reality. This rarely lasts long as I am instantly reminded of the very real experiences I have had and the amazing feeling of love that accompanies them. It is like I am being presented with the decision – to Believe or not to Believe – over and over again. This is what happened last night as I sat alone, overwhelmed once again with what was happening to me. In that moment I was reminded that I created this experience – it is purposeful. I am on a journey of reUnification; a journey to wholeness. And I heard, “We can do this, for We already are.”

We Can Be All Places, All Times

As I continued to try and watch T.V. my attention continued to be diverted to other things. My mind would blank out and I would feel I was receiving communication but there were no words, no images of this communication. I was just a receiving. Then there came an idea that I could choose to be in more than once place at once – that this was my true nature. I Remembered briefly how to do this, how to be in multiple places at once. I do this when I view the future for myself or another. I have done it before, but a limited version of it, one my human mind can accept for to view too many timelines at once can overwhelm the mind and create a break with reality.

I attempted to see the future, or at least one of them, and felt myself to be observing myself and moving through time to a point in the not so distant future. I saw my family arriving and me helping with the baby. Then I shifted to look at present time reality. Where was my family at this moment? I saw them settling into the car and knew they were about 20 minutes away. I saw the inside of the car with clarity and saw my middle son drifting off to sleep.

This is remote viewing and I have done it before. I rarely do it because I have a lack of belief in it caused by not bringing back information that can be proved. I do it sometimes on accident, though, and to my surprise it has been proven. Still I don’t do it often for lack of belief.

I discovered the clarity of my perceptions in remote viewing is increased when I have a psychic bond with the individual(s) I am viewing. This can be done if I have a link to an object or place as well. However, I find it fascinating that I can view the happenings of someone I have never met from a far distance just because there is a strong link between us. It is beautiful but at the same time I feel wrong to do it. I feel I am invading their privacy. Yet I know they also can see/perceive me. For this particular person it happens quite by accident, without any intention on my part. Why? I have no idea but it is so astonishingly clear and makes me smile every time. In my life I have never experienced such a link to anyone, not even my own child.

Becoming Whole

After about an hour or so of on and off heart blasts, I got out the wine. This stopped the heart energy but my third-eye flickered on and off and my Companion did not leave. I could still feel him and still feel he wanted me to focus on the remote viewing “lesson”. Sigh.

I fell asleep quickly and slept deeply (thank you wine!) but awoke at around 5:30am with my Companion very present. I recalled my dreams and remembered what had been occurring through the night. We were together discussing my inability to accept my “other half”. I was reminded that this body is but a shell that I occupy for a short time. In reality I am neither male or female. The dream, which involved a discussion about a man who was undergoing a sex change/gender reassignment was vivid in my mind. How could a man be a woman, too? Yet, that is what we are. We are both. Even in understanding this, my human mind struggled to understand it. How can I be both?

I had flashes of my Companion in his non-human form. In this form he had no gender. He reminded me that We can take on any form we choose. He reminded me again the he is me and I am him. This is so hard for me to digest because I am talking to him, which means then that I am talking to myself. Talk about making a person feel insane.

I am reminded that we are in stasis – We I mean. That We are a Pleiadian Starseed, from the planet Lyra. That We are currently experiencing on Earth to help but also to grow, and that we have been doing this for many hundreds of Earth years. We split in two to do this. He lived and I observed and then vice versa. There is something very special about this lifetime for Us. We will both be in this body. I don’t understand it fully. It is a bit overwhelming and I find myself back at the point where I want him to go away. Of course, he never goes away.

I also know we are now writing Chapter 3.

 

 

The Rest of It

Now that I have time, I will post the rest (that I can remember).

I was wide awake and it was 4:30am. By this time I had been speaking with the Beings for a good hour and there was so much energy coursing through me that I began to think I would not fall to sleep. Then it dawned on me to ask, so I did. “Please help me go back to sleep.” Within minutes I was hit with the heaviness that signaled sleep and not long after entered into semi-lucid and lucid dream states.

Dream: Letter from Lisa

Most of this dream is lost to me now. In it I was presented with a letter. It was typed and had many, many paragraphs. It was signed simply, “Lisa.”

I recall hearing a woman reading me the letter. It was a letter about adjusting to life in a physical body. It was very detailed to include incubation and assimilation. I remember not liking those terms. Apparently I am “assimilating”.

The letter was about this woman’s personal experience assimilating to the human physical body. She had been in it for 15 years and was still struggling to adapt and make adjustments. The information in the letter was very scientific in some ways, almost like a report. I remember thinking that she was much older than 15 years old and recognizing she was a walk-in.

I became lucid toward the end and that is when I saw the signature at the bottom – Lisa. I wondered if I knew her.

Lucid Dream: Conversation with Barbara

In this dream I had an in-depth conversation with a woman named Barbara. I called her by her name several times and I remember her to be older than me, maybe in her 50s. I also remember auburn hair but I cannot recall her face.

We were conversing about raising children, specifically about routine. She asked me, “You don’t put them to bed when they aren’t tired do you?” I responded, “Yeah I do. When they are asleep is one of the only times I get to be alone!” She implied that routine was not good. This is the opposite of what I was taught. Children thrive on routine. It acts as a stabilizing influence and helps them feel safe. Yet this woman was adamant that routine was against our true nature and was part of the reason we get stuck in a rut (routine). I remember quoting different psychologists and discussing behaviorism, social psychology, ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) and many other related topics. We did not argue, we had a very good conversation and I awoke from it still hearing her voice and feeling an affinity for this woman, Barbara. Now I wonder now if maybe she was on to something. I don’t know how many times I have cursed myself for getting too comfortable with my routines. They have a tendency to box a person in.

The In-Between

Between dreams I was in the in-between. For those of you not familiar with what this space is, I was told it is a place where “past, present and future exist at the same time”. In other words, it is between time. However, what it feels like to me is being in a very deeply relaxed state where my mind is receptive to communication with my guides, Spirit, and apparently ETs. I am usually aware of being both in my body and above it at the same time. It is often devoid of color, like a blank slate, but communication comes both in words and vivid visions that play behind my eyelids like real-time movies. Sometimes I get pulled into these visions and my perceptions turn on as if I am awake and from here I can easily go OOB. Other times I remain an observer.

Simply put, the in-between is accessed via the trance state. I don’t know how many of you can go there, but for me it is my Home away from Home and I go there every day/night. Sometimes I am “called” there and am instantly there.

When I was in-between with the three Beings they were just out of my line of sight as if they did not want me to see them. Instead I could only feel and sense them. I knew they were E.T.s by their energy and flashes of the little gray men from movies and pictures kept coming to mind. I don’t know how I feel about that, really.

Their communication with me was both in words and visions. However, I was told several times by them, “Your vocabulary is insufficient for our purposes.” LOL

You may wonder why I don’t just get up and channel when these kinds of experience happen to me. Believe me, I wanted to, but I have found that if I get up, the movement of my physical body breaks the trance state and then disrupts the flow of information. Once that flow is disrupted I never know if I will be able to resume the communication at the same level. So I am stuck having to decide: 1. Stay and get tons of information but risk losing half of it because my brain won’t be able to retain it all. or 2. Get up and write down everything I can remember up to that point and risk not receiving anymore information. Sometimes I am lucky and the information keeps coming because I am wide open. I can tell when these times are and last night was not one of those times. So I chose to stay in the in-between and thus forgot half of what I was told. I’m sorry. I will try to do better next time.

Other Messages Tidbits

I was not alone on the craft I visited. I can’t remember who was with me – sorry. However, I did wonder where all the men were. It seemed to be oddly female dominated. I was told there are more females than men who are going through this “process”. This was done purposefully because of the receptivity of the female body/brain/organism. Not that we are “superior” necessarily but that it offers a better probability for success. I don’t understand everything they told me but my understanding is that men are prone to ignore or completely miss the messages that come through. Interesting. So hey, if you are a man and on this journey – congrats! You have beat the odds!! 😉

I am told I am receiving adjustments on board a craft of some kind two to three times a week. Talk about shock to me! Then I remembered a dream I had the night before last which I assumed was not worth mentioning on my blog. I will just say there were triplets in it. No coincidence.

Finally, I had high knowingness that I was going to begin to Remember more….again. So will my soul family. And we will continue to Remember each other. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I am still processing the last round of Remembering and trust me it was quite an eye-opener. I will never be the same. If one round of major Remembering can do that, what will the next one do? I shudder to think but apparently I passed the point of no return a long, long time ago.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We are Yeshua

When I awoke from the OBE the three Beings were to my left. I saw them each as light but I knew immediately that they were E.T.s and that my OBE had been with them. They were the “midget men” who I knew were also the Prophet. I asked them, “Who are you?” They responded as one, “We are Yeshua.”

So much commenced after this that I am not sure where to start and I will most likely forget to include everything. So forgive me in advance. I will do my best as I know this is important for more than just me.

These Beings are very ancient and they communicated as such. They have been the caretakers of Earth from the beginning. They are not those who participated in the seeding of Earth, though. They made this very clear. They are of the group who have been called The Many, The Elohim, Melchizedek and other names I cannot think of at the moment. I asked why they always give me Biblical names and was told, “They are Our names.”

They told me they traveled from a different time but also showed me what this looked like. It was literally like they stepped into this time but it would be like they traveled a very, very long time to get here. I suspect what I was shown was them coming from their dimension to ours, but it literally looked like they just crossed over some kind of barrier, like a line in space. It was a dark line. They were on one side and we were on the other.

I asked what they were doing and was told, “You can reproduce better now.” I thought back, “Reproduce? I don’t want to reproduce. I’m fixed.” But then I realized this was their way of saying “sex” and understood that they view sex for what it is – reproduction. It is nothing but that. Curious.

We discussed how my previous lucid dream was my conscious mind’s way of interpreting the events prior to the OBE. I was on board a craft somewhere and was witnessing someone else have some kind of procedure done. I was told that I have a disgust for “reproduction” and that I needed to remove it for it was not accurate and something I picked up from the incarnation cycle. I recognized this disgust right away. My dream was just a reflection of it.

When I met the woman in my dream who was preparing to connect her laptop, I was told that I would be meeting with these Beings. For some reason it scared me and I started to cry. They explained that my human reaction is fear first – thus my reaction. They said they will help me find acceptance and understanding. For now the scenes I recall will be comfortable and at an acceptable level. Eventually they will be less and less so, but only to the extent that I can handle it.

I recall that the light I was looking at was the light used in whatever procedure they were doing. I recall seeing six 1 inch cubed crystals, similar to a dream I recently had. I didn’t see it in the OBE but recalled it almost immediately after I woke. These crystals were used on me but I am not sure what for.

This procedure is not the upgrade that is coming. It was a preparation for it. When I was told this my heart chakra began to light up and I was enveloped in an energy hug that fully surrounded my entire mid-section. I felt that there would be more heart chakra energy with the next upgrade. I melted into it for a bit, enjoying it.

The maps and diagrams I saw were almost forgotten but it was like they reminded me of them because the memory just appeared in my head. I tried and tried to remember the information but it was not forthcoming. I knew I was not meant to know. The information was about the agenda of Team Dark and the harvesting of humans. There is a purposeful increase in population beyond the ability of the Earth to support. It is disturbing but I am not sure why.

I asked why they were visiting me. They said to me, “You are special. You were chosen out of a group of volunteers”. I have been hearing that I am “special” ever since my first communications with my guide. I hate hearing it. So I said to them, “But there are a lot of us.” They responded, “Not as many as you might think.” They then said I was given “gifts”. This I understood to be my spiritual abilities but I did not ask. They explained that I needed to be “clear”. I believe this was what they had been doing in my OBE. I have specific judgments towards sex and intimacy that need to be sorted.

We also talked about the exchange that was soon to take place. It will occur after I am “cleared” (not really sure what that means). The exchange involves another aspect taking over and the current me going into stasis. I asked where I would go and was shown what appeared to be a pod made out of a fabric-like material with a zipper that went all the way around. I saw inside of it a woman – me – asleep and holding an infant. I understood that for me what happens while the other aspect is in control will appear like a very vivid dream. Interesting. I was told also that as they begin to allow me to retain memories of my interactions with them that they will surround me in a “calm” unlike anything I have ever experienced. I got a visual of being surrounded in what looked like a silken cocoon of energy. I am open that that. 🙂

There is more but this is getting too long and I have to get on with my day. I will write more later.

OBE: Good Vibrations

Since I was told I would soon be experiencing another upgrade soon, I asked if I could astral project. I got the go-ahead and so requested again prior to sleep.

Lucid Dream: Uncomfortable Sexual Situation

I found myself inside a dorm room with several other young people. For some reason we were all in one bed together. A young woman with brown hair was entertaining two boys. She was very sexually promiscuous and proceeded to have sex with one boy while the other watched. I was in bed with them with my back turned trying to ignore it all and thinking, “Is she really? Are they really?” This brought me into semi-lucidity.

I finally had enough when I felt something wet on my leg. Disgusted I got out and retreated to the bathroom where I found a bed inside one of the stalls. I tried to lay down and rest there but felt I needed to return to the dorm room.

When I came back out I was inside a large common area and people were everywhere with bags and boxes in their hands. Moving. I saw a young woman who was getting cords and wires together to set up her laptop. She inquired if I was ready. When I saw her I got a very uncomfortable feeling and began to cry. I said, “No, I don’t want to!” With my upset I felt my lucidity increase and the scene shifted.

OBE: Good Vibrations

Then I was drifting in the in-between receiving information about the future plans of Earth. At the time it was like a huge screen was in front of me and it had all sorts of data and graphs on it. The main parts I recall are the maps of various places on Earth. They had horizontal lines of different colors over the top of them. Each line had words inside with a set goal. It was very political but I can’t remember anything that was written and it really bothers me because I know it is important!

Then I was looking at a demographic map of the U.S. The areas where the population was low were marked as areas that needed attention. The goal was to move people to these places. This I didn’t understand but I didn’t question. These desolate areas were important but I am not sure how. I specifically recall thinking these areas would include the states of North and South Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, Idaho and parts of Utah. I did not consider any Midwestern states which surprises me.

Then I was hearing a discussion about travelers who were to visit these low population areas. I heard about a prophet who was very ancient and often traveled to these places to visit certain people.

Then I was observing a field. It reminded me of the fields in Montana – sage brush and grass everywhere. In front of me were three identical midgets. They had brown hair and short beards. I knew they were the Prophet I had just heard about. They had traveled a very long way to be here and I knew they were important so I was very curious about them.

They spoke to a man who was standing in the field. I never actually saw him, though, just felt he was there. When these little men spoke they spoke as if they were one person. One would start talking and the next would pick up in the middle of the sentence and then the third would pick up where the other left off. It continued like this. Not one of them ever finished a sentence without the others. I don’t remember what they said, though.

This is when I entered the scene with full lucidity. I was OOB before but not actually in any specific space. At this point it was like I was shifted into the scene.

The midgets vanished. The unseen man vanished. I was laying horizontally on a hard surface. I could see the sagebrush field in my peripheral vision. My attention was completely focused on the night sky above me. There were millions of stars and my vision was so completely clear that I was in awe while also a bit confused as to what was going on.

I felt the three men around me then but they were not men any longer. I could not see them but I felt them. One stood at my feet and one was on my left and the other on my right at around my stomach area.

I felt a pressure in my root chakra and then an intense vibration. It shot up through the root chakra along my spine and spread out. These vibrations were not like any I have ever experienced while OOB or receiving K energy. It literally felt like someone had put one of those vibrating massagers inside me or a very, very, very long dildo. lol

Startled, my first thought was that these Beings were trying to sexually stimulate me. I tensed up, anticipating that my body would respond. However, I felt absolutely no sexual response from my body at all. I also felt that I needed to not focus on my physical body and to just allow the vibrations to continue.

That is when I felt (was told?) to focus on “the light”. Prior to this I had not seen any light, yet there, high in the night sky, was a very large, almost moon-sized, perfectly white light. It was just off to the right and I focused on it as instructed. What is weird is that I perceived there was another light shining behind me and my conscious mind imagined it to be a street light. It also felt like the light behind me and the light in the sky were one and the same.

The vibrations continued for some time. I felt them from my root chakra through my 2nd chakra and there was a rod-shaped central area they seemed to emanate from. The vibrations spread all the way through my hips and lower abdomen and even down my thighs some. I knew that when the light in the sky disappeared that the vibrations would stop.

The light disappeared and the vibrations stopped.

Then it was over as suddenly as it started and I was on my hands and knees staring out across a sagebrush field. It was dark outside and the stars shown so brightly and were so absolutely clear that I was once again in awe. It reminded me of a night long ago when I slept under the stars in the mountains of Montana – so intensely beautiful.

I looked around and said aloud to my guides, “What do I do now?”

I woke up almost immediately afterward.  The Beings were still with me. I will write about what happened next in the next post.

 

Luminous Beings

Yesterday proved to be another difficult day for me. Outwardly, I appeared fine and stable, but within I was struggling.

I slept hard and deep again, waking a few times in the night and quickly returning to sleep without incident. At 5:30am I was awakened by a dream that turned lucid very quickly. In it, I was listening to a small child singing a song. She appeared to be about 9 or 10 years old and had a white, luminous light surrounding her. Her words were ultimately what brought me out of my slumber.

She sang, “Hello to you with the pillow over your head, laying in bed.” lol

Awake but in the in-between, the entire night’s adventures were suddenly within my mind – dreams, conversations, and feelings. The dreams are full of symbolism but they are so long that I do not want to go into detail here. Instead I will focus on the important parts.

Train

I was lifted out of one dream scene into another by an unseen guide. We flew high above a green valley surrounded by rusty colored mesas and plateaus. I could see a train meandering along a track that went through the bottom of this valley. I knew this was my destination but I was just along for the ride.

Luminous Beings

I watched as the ground began to move. I could see a ball outlined below the surface. There was also a very high pitched sound that was all around. I can’t connect it to any sound I have ever heard but it was everywhere. It came from within rather than without and was like music but no music I have ever heard.

Then a luminous white orb about the size of a basketball emerged from the soil. I looked away it was so bright. When I looked back there was standing in front of me a small Being, very child-like in stature – the height of a 12 year old child. I could see him despite his brightness – he was extremely bright white with a light blue tinge to the outer areas of this brightness. He was human in shape and I could see his entire body from his head to toes. There were no distinct features other than his eyes, nose and mouth. The rest was just too bright. His face was human-like but more like a human with some kind of chromosome issue most similar to someone with Down’s Syndrome.

Then I saw 4 other orbs appear from the ground behind me. Each one became a small Being just like the first.

Messages

With all these memories came an understanding that I had been somewhere else with these bright Beings. They were so calming and continually sent love to me. It was the most beautiful feeling I have ever felt and I wanted badly to be with them – to leave this life and body and join with them. The entire time I communicated with these Beings my heart was so large inside my chest that it felt like it would burst. At the same time my crown and third eye were also buzzing.

I could feel the Beings around me and recognized them as very special. We conversed but most of their answers came as pure Knowingness. They explained that they are Timeless and have been on Earth since the beginning.

At this time I had a memory of seeing hundreds of luminous orbs rising up out of a vast, dark lake and several Beings inviting me to enter into this metal craft that was hovering a few feet off the ground. They said to me, “Leave your shoes. You wear new ones here.” I chose instead to wear my old shoes inside my new ones.

Several times they mentioned the Anasazi’s. I am not very familiar with this ancient group of people but from what I recall they completely disappeared and no one knows why or where they went. The answer I received was that some left while others stayed. The ones that left shifted into light bodies and ascended. The ones who stayed integrated with the Earth and I saw them underground. I heard, “There are scores of us across the planet. We are here to help. We are re-emerging.”

Of course I wondered why they were here with me. The answer I received was that they were helping me with my heart. This part is hard to describe because it is so intensely personal on so many levels. Even as I write this my heart is pulling.

Another memory surfaced then, one in which I was being presented with these tablets that appeared to have etched into them runes or symbols. Each tablet was perfectly square and each symbol was etched inside it’s own square. The symbols glowed and appeared to enlarge when I looked at them. 

They surrounded me with love and one said to me, “We will help you grieve.” I was hit with such an understanding of this that I began to cry. I was crying not only from the intense love I felt but from numerous other things that I am going through right now. I am being pulled with such intensity toward my group and I am struggling with the feeling. It is constant and was the source of the split feeling I had been feeling. The split feeling is gone and I don’t think it will return but the magnetic pull to leave is still very strong.

Of the many messages I received there was one that I have been getting on my own that they confirmed. This feeling to leave is only going to intensify. Now is not the time to act on it, though, as there are things I must resolve first. When the time comes to act I will Know. I was told, “You must become whole first.” The message about being whole has come to me before. Though I don’t fully understand it, I trust it. I don’t know how long it will take and a part of me is afraid of it happening.

It seems to me that these Beings magnified my heart space in a way that brought great clarity. They confirmed much of what I had been feeling yet at the same time intensified emotions that I have been avoiding. I carry with me a great loss and longing, like a part of me is missing but accessible – just not yet. When I contact the source of these feelings I feel like I am Home. It is similar to the feeling I got from the Beings. I want badly to reunite with them but cannot. No wonder I am so sad. 😦

 

 

Hypnagogia and Guided Visions

After laying wide awake for some time, I finally pleaded to my guide for help. Amazingly, my mind slowed and I began to calm substantially within seconds of my request. I could not get comfortable on my side for some reason and so lay on my back and drifted into the in-between.

Hypnagogia and Guided Visions/Travel

I don’t know how long I was in-between before I began to notice what seemed like millions upon millions of tiny, green, opalescent bubbles in my vision. They were moving upward and made me think of being under water looking up at bubbles as they rose to the surface. I could feel my crown and third-eye wide open and felt subtle vibrations. Instantly alerted to being in the trance state, I did not react but waited calmly and observed. This is an usual reaction for me. Usually I get very excited and screw it all up!

As often happens when I become the observer, the bubbles dissipated and a white tunnel of light opened up in the center of my vision. I could feel my body buzzing and shifting and it occurred to me that I could exit my body, but I hesitated and chose not to. I felt I should just continue to observe.

In the tunnel I saw a plain white bedroom or studio apartment. If I focused too much on it, it would fade away, so I looked through it without focusing on any one thing. The tunnel expanded to fill my entire vision except for a sliver on either side. It was still circular and I watched as the picture inside began to move as if I were looking around with binoculars.

I watched the bedroom for a while, struggling to maintain my vision and perception. I managed pretty well because I was able to see the entire apartment. It was all draped in white and I wondered whose it was. I heard a response, “It’s yours”. The response did not surprise me. I am never alone in these kinds of experiences.

The Anunnaki

The visual of the apartment was then replaced by a spectacular view of outer space. In the center of my vision was a large, dull, metallic spacecraft. It was very tall and appeared to have multiple stories. I saw windows stacked one on top of the other. They were small and rectangular and circled the entire craft. The craft was round in the center with perhaps 8-10 circular levels that spun around at different rates. The entire body of the craft was shaped like a tall trapezoid, the bottom being longer and wider than the top.

After seeing the details of the spacecraft a woman appeared in front of my vision. She was very beautiful, with long hair that appeared white or golden in color. She had a band around her head at the temple that had an emblem on it that I cannot recall now. The band itself was golden in color and the emblem blue and green. She had human facial features but was definitely not all human. Her skin was grayer than ours and had a blue tinge to it. Her eyes were larger and slanted upward. The rest of her looked completely human. She was wearing a white jumpsuit of some kind with a blue belt and was holding a silver rod of some kind in her hand that was taller than her by about two feet.

She smiled at me and said “Anunnaki.” I could see her lips move so she was not just a picture. I then heard a light voice in my head that said, “We are headed your way.” This time her lips did not move.

Then the visual darkened substantially and I saw words fly across my vision. I heard the words as I read them, “Great Galactic War”.

That is when I saw  more spacecraft. There were more than I could count and they were moving. These were darker in color and had many long sections. They resembled a caterpillar. There were other ones that were faster that looked like rods. The biggest was so large I wondered what it could possibly be used for. I heard a male voice say something but I can’t recall it now other than hearing, “Dark”. My memory here is that they were also headed this way.

I did not react to any of these visions and so was questioned. “Do you not believe what we are telling you?” I said, “I don’t know. It’s so easy to assume it is just a dream or a movie in my head. It would be better if I had solid proof.” The response I got back was a feeling more than an audible answer. I don’t think they liked my answer. lol

Bathroom Horror 

The visions left and I was overcome with almost violent surges of energy. My whole body felt to be jumping and my heart began to pound in my chest. I knew this was a normal part of the deep trance state, so I just remained calm.

I began to hear noises that sounded to be right next to me. I ignored them. Unfortunately, my vision was still active and a new scene was opening up in front of me. I saw the inside of a bathroom, specifically the bathtub with a shower curtain pulled to the right. I could see a window above and the tiny white tiles of the surround. A woman was hiding behind the white shower curtain and I could see blood streaks on the curtain where her hand was holding it across her body. I heard her crying and saying, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Please don’t hurt me. I’m sorry….” This continued and was very, very loud. I felt as if I were right next to her in the scene and I did not want to be. Hearing her made me tense up and want to curl up in the fetal position. I identified with her. I felt that I was her.

I had past life memories pile one on top of the other and mentally called out to my guides to make it go away. Initially it did not let up and the moans from the woman continued. I was able to finally wrench myself away from the scene and open my eyes but my body was overcome with vibrations to the point that my teeth were chattering. I said to my guides, “That’s enough. I didn’t like that”.

I had difficulty going back to sleep after that. I felt I should have stayed with the scene of the woman and let it run its course. Instead, I panicked and pulled myself away from the scene. It is obvious to me that it was meant to remind me of my past lives, many of which I was beaten, raped and abused as a woman. I should have remained objective, but I couldn’t. Seems I got a tiny peek at what the next layer of the onion holds for me. 😦

 

 

Through the Porticus

When I awoke this morning at 5am I was wide awake but I did not want to be. Upset, I immediately pleaded with my Companion to allow me to return to sleep and astral project. I was told very sternly, “No”. 😦

As I lay there I felt disappointed because it seemed my instructions from the night were to go about my normal, day-to-day life. To expect no further noticeable adjustments for some time. It was time for rest.

I didn’t like hearing this and began to try and figure out what I would do with myself during this rest period. I was interrupted mid-thought with the message, “What does your heart tell you?” So I settled in there, knowing already what I would find – an intense urge to drop everything and leave. Finding exactly that, I yelled at my Companion, “Every time I go there I want to leave!  I don’t want to leave!”

Somehow I managed to return to sleep. I suspect I was lulled to sleep since the last thing I remember was being told to focus on my heart again.

Dream: Symbols Game

I found myself inside a large, warehouse-like place with various concrete walled rooms. I was with some people I know in real life who I never would have met had I not been married to my husband. I don’t much like most of them so you can imagine how the dream went. lol

Eventually, after following these people around for a while I got upset and told them I was going to go to the gym to workout. In fact, working out was all I could think about the whole time. They kept trying to keep me from doing that, though. Eventually, I turned to leave one last time and noticed there was a fresh wound on my left calf. I recalled instantly that the woman I was talking to had cut a design into my leg with a knife. I got upset with her for it but was confused as to why she had carved a strange symbol into my leg.

The next thing I recall was sitting at a table in my own living room. There were three women with me and one was holding a book and giving instructions on how to use it. She passed out small, cards about 2×2 inches square. Each card had a symbol on it. The game we were to play was about choosing an option to take with our significant other. She instructed us to choose between two, but all I recall now is hearing her mention they were called “do” cards which I interpreted as decision cards. The one that stood out to me looked like the Aum symbol. All of them resembled familiar symbols I have seen associated with yoga.

At that point I had had enough. I stood up and left. I refused to play their game.

aum

Through the Porticus

This is when it got weird.

I was transported instantly to somewhere else. I was there with a massively large Being. He was about twice my height (at least 9ft) and we were hovering together inside a very large spacecraft. To my left was a huge window that was about four times my height and domed. It came up and over the tops of our heads. To my right was all gray metal. I could not make out much because my entire attention was held by this tall Being I was with.

I couldn’t figure out how I had gotten there so was confused and had many questions. However, I could not ask them. It was like they were withheld from me; like I had a powerful energy or force stopping their formation. I was completely speechless/thoughtless.

My main emotion was nervousness. I felt like I had done something wrong and was being reprimanded. This was all I felt while I was in the presence of this Being. Yet he was not scary, just commanding. I had great respect and reverence for him, very much like a small child has for a parent.

Now for the Being. I have never seen anything like him. I saw his entire body from head to toe. He was wearing a very strange uniform, or maybe costume is a better word. It reminded me of a Genie suit – puffy arms and legs that tapered down around the hands and feet. The color was a bright blue and there was an accent color that I can’t remember now. What was very distinct was the huge collar that came up around the face of this Being. It was white and stood straight up and seemed almost to act as a shield to the face. In fact, I had trouble seeing the Being’s face because of it. But I did see it.

The face looked human but with shimmery skin, like he was reflective but that is not quite right. He was strangely foreign looking in a way that is difficult to describe. Elf-like is the closest I can come to a match. He had vividly blue eyes and white-blonde hair that was pulled up into a tight ponytail that was centered on the top of his head. His hair was longer than mine!

He was beautiful.

I was still nervous, though. He was reminding me of why I came here and to “stay focused”. I had been dilly-dallying, “not paying attention” and allowing Earth-activities to “distract me”.

He pointed out the large window, which he called a “porticus”. There was a planet below us that resembled Earth. It was massive and bright and so beautiful. I also saw millions of stars twinkling around us. There was no doubt we were in space.

He instructed me to go through the porticus, but I don’t remember hearing any words. It was like I just knew this is where I was to go. He came with me and we just went through what I thought was a solid window. He told me to allow the planet to pull me toward it. It was not gravity that he called it but something else, something akin to an energy field.

As we descended I saw these strange satellites that had what resembled cameras on the end. These cameras tracked us as we got closer. I saw at least three and they looked like something from a Sci-Fi film – robot-like, dark metal with large, dark, shiny “eyes” or lenses at the end of a long central arm. I remember asking about them and being told they would alert those on the ground to our approach. I assumed this meant they were some kind of early detection system. But were these around Earth??

I then heard a loud ringing sound and figured it was one of the devices sending the alert. I saw the one closest to use turn its eye toward the planet prior to hearing the sound. I have never heard anything like it. There is nothing to compare it to.

Then I was on the ground standing next to the Being but he was now just a little taller than me. Did I grow or did he shrink? He was also wearing different clothing – a white tunic with gold embroidered trim. He was almost all white and the tunic flowed down to his knees. And I Remembered him then! I saw him in an OBE!!

We descended a long stairway. My memory of this place screams to me that we were not on Earth. No way! Or else we were in another Earth, one not of this dimension and time. The sky was blue and it very much resembled Earth but where we were was fantastically grand. The steps we descended were white and spread for hundreds of yards on either side of us. The place we came out of, though it was behind me, was like a grand temple with massive columns reminiscent of Greece.

At the bottom of the stairs we stopped and he stood in front of me. A woman with dark hair just appeared to my right. She seemed to materialize. I have no idea where she came from but I knew who she was and we greeted one another telepathically. The Being who was with me could not communicate with her, though. It was like there was a block and I understood that she could not see him either.  So he asked me to relay messages between us. I didn’t understand this but did as I was asked. She was reporting back to me but I don’t remember what she said now, just that we were exchanging information from our separate journeys.

shipMessages

I woke with a start completely confused and demanding to know what I just experienced.

“That was not a dream! I was dreaming and then I wasn’t! And who….what the hell are you!??” (lol I laugh now because I was completely not expecting what had happened). My memory of the Being was muddled. I remember him looking very, very alien and distorted which confused me.

Then came the massively HUGE energy and I heard again, “Lord Commander Sananda”. I was not wanting to hear that, but he kept sending that and so what could I do but accept it?

Then I wanted to know what he was – was he human? Was he Andromedan? Pleiadian? I got no response other than him asking me, “How did you feel?” What?

So I settled into my heart and the memory of what had just happened and knew he was who he said he was and that I had just “checked-in” at his request because of my refusal to accept the memory of who I am and why I am here. Ha! You try and do this, you would be resistant, too!

I knew the Being I saw was Pleiadian in appearance. I also knew the planet we visited was not Earth. It was spectacular! Also, he was wearing a space suit of some kind. There was something over his face that was nearly imperceptible. Like a shield or helmet that was invisible.

Then he just kept talking to me.

“You cannot project. You must remain anchored.” To this I responded that I did not want to stay here. He explained, “This is the most difficult aspect of Remembering. The more you Remember, the less you want to stay. But you must remain.” No kidding!

With this message was a feeling of mild irritation on his part. I understood that he had been working with others facing the same dilemma. We live life after life in Forgetfulness and the more we Remember the less we want to stay because we know we are not Home and want to return there. Then there is the massive contrast between Earth life/energy and what we Remember. Who would want to stay? Not me!

He then told me, “Our fleet is positioned near the sun but will be moving towards Earth at a rate of …” I go blank here. What he said just did not register in my brain. I saw an image of the sun and this tiny spot that was literally so close that it looked like a part of the sun.

I asked, “I thought you were in Saturn’s rings?” He said, “That is another fleet”.

He then requested that I relay this information to others. He emphasized that I include his name – Lord Commander Sananda.

My Reaction

This is beyond bizarre to me. The experience I had of being off planet was/is the strangest to digest. I was in a dream and then I just wasn’t. When I woke it felt like the experience was just placed there. Like someone put it there but then it was so real! I just keep trying to put it together and my brain can’t do it. There is no explanation!

And Sananda, or whoever he is…holy shit he is amazing! Somewhat intimidating but amazing nonetheless. His face shimmered! Oh and he had this symbol between his eyes, where the third-eye is. It was silvery-white and looked like a diamond and had dotted lines outlining it!

 

 

 

The Pleiadian Conglomerate

I returned from a two-day family trip yesterday afternoon completely exhausted. As I suspected would happen, I was unable to sleep well in the hotel room. I am very sensitive to others’ energies when I sleep but I also experienced intense, high pitched ear ringing, a pounding heart and hot flashes that kept me awake most of the night.

So it was no surprise that I completely crashed last night. I slept so hard that when I woke at 5am I was still in the exact same position I had fallen asleep in! I hadn’t moved at all in the night. This is very out of character for me!

What is even stranger is that when I woke up I felt different – like not myself. I knew things, felt things, had a different sense of myself than I had prior to bed.

And I was not alone.

The Pleiadian Conglomerate 

The first thing I Remembered was a visiual of Earth from outer space. There was amassed just above Earth a group of spacecraft numbering 20. What is odd about the spacecraft is that though there were 20 separate craft they appeared as if blurred together, almost cloud-like except that I could see distinctly the edges of separate, silver discs amidst the conglomerate.

I knew these were the Pleiadians – the group from which I am seeded. I also knew there were other E.T. species with them – Andromedans most predominantly.

As I absorbed all this, there came from my left a representative of this conglomerate. I did not see him, but I recognized his energy. He brought with him a trigger of my memories. Like his presence triggered something in me. I knew this as well – I Remembered this.

I did not ask his name but instead just allowed myself to Receive. The group, which is also my group, that he came with he refers to as “The Many” and I understand to be composed of many races of E.T. lifeforms and multi-dimensional beings.

I want to also point out that the representative came to me from my left (his right) which is the area reserved for Spirit when I do mediumship readings. My Companion traditionally stays to my right and will move farther from me when communication via Spirit is initiated.

This representative has a very large energy and speaks for the others with him. He explained that he wanted me to transmit messages and reminded me of my agreement to be open to being a medium again. I have been visited by him before. In fact, he has visited several times since I agreed to be open to mediumship, I just didn’t know how to write about it until now as his energy is so big and what he says is so profound that I have been promptly pretending he never visited.

I heard from him the name ” I am the Lord and Commander Sananda”. I rejected this, of course, since this name is so frequently used by channels and I do not want such bias involved in my interactions with this entity.

Messages

#1 – “Your energy is anchored”.

#2 – “We are at war”. It was explained to me that there has been a “war” on-going pertaining to Earth. It is not a war in the traditional sense – there is no blood and death as those engage in this war are not limited to the physical. I was told the war has to do with humanity. I Remembered this as well, it was like an “ah-ha” moment. I was told as a result of the opposition, We have not been able to fully utilize the human body. I saw how We are unable to fully come into the body as We are meant to. The DNA structure is incomplete, broken, so we have no access. This is being corrected. Access is now being granted, at least in my case this is true. It is also for some others but is not wide-spread at this time.

#3 – I Remembered a great Light coming toward Earth and then wrapping itself around Earth like a swaddling blanket.

#4 – We are Soldiers of Light, Light Warriors, etc. In this memory I Remembered how I personally had prepared for this job.

#5 – More and more of my other aspects are being integrated now. This is why I feel different in the morning, why I felt so utterly changed when I woke up. I saw it was 50% complete. I feel my Braid-in very distinctly and when I woke up I was him more than me.

#6 – I saw a visual of packed bags sitting by the door. I knew this to mean movement was coming for me. We must move, We must unite with our individual Teams. So again I get this message.

There is so much more that I cannot say at this time. Even if I wanted to, it has been erased for the time being. It is so very odd! I don’t feel like myself. I feel strange but it is not a bad strange.

Just pinch me now so I can wake up.