Category Archives: Messages

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The Great Migration

I am in a resting phase. Many of us are. We had some intense upgrades in December that lasted into early January. Some are still feeling the energy and upgrades, though it’s mostly residuals now.

I am being reminded of a post I wrote not long ago telling of these brief breaks. For me, this break started around the 24th and I am told I have a couple more days of this and to rest and enjoy the down time.

Based upon my dream communications recently, it appears that I will be glimpsing pieces of my purpose very soon. This is likely happening with others, too. Some are preparing to make a “fresh start” or embark on a new journey in life. There may be movement quite suddenly or this movement may come about much more slowly. This is all dependent upon the contracts and agreements you’ve made.

So far, I have witnessed myself shifting out of the student role in my dreams and into a teaching role. It is like I am suddenly acutely aware of knowing that part of my purpose is to prepare those much younger than myself for what is coming. In my dreams this manifests as me realizing that I am a good 20 years older than my classmates and becoming friends with my professors and moving out of the classroom into the “real world”, a world in which I am showing the way for others.

The Great Migration

In my dream last night I was taking a test that was completely open-ended. There were no questions, no prompts. I was given two blank pieces of paper to write my “story” on. This was the test. I did not hesitate to start writing paragraph after paragraph describing what happened (or will happen) in the U.S. during what I referred to as, “The Great Migration”.

I wrote of mainly the animal populations migrating – birds and squirrels mainly. But when I awoke I knew this was not what it seemed. The migration is much bigger than birds or animals. It is a movement of people and I have had memory of such an occurrence before. It was given to me as a warning, as a sign of upcoming major events.

I find it interesting that I specifically thought of birds and squirrels. Birds are free and live in the sky. Birds go where they are “called”, often in groups or flocks. They do not carry a load or stash things for later. They travel between the Earth and the sky (Spirit). Squirrels are known to stash things away for the winter. They stash nuts and seeds which ultimately grow into plants and trees. In this they provide a vital service to the Earth. When I think of the symbolism involved here, I can’t help but think of the ground crew (squirrels) and those in Spirit (birds) working harmoniously together to assist Earth in her ascension.

There is a great migration coming. It may have already started for all I know.

 

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Walk Along

Yesterday my crying episodes and intense grief lifted and turned into a wonderful, happy high. I spent the evening with family and had a good time. I felt normal again. Sigh of relief.

I had an interesting experience in the middle of the night. When I woke at 3am my heart chakra was wide open, exploding with a beautiful love energy but there was still a pulling sensation that would sometimes feel a bit uncomfortable. I was also being washed in energy hugs from my Companion. I wondered, “What’s going on?”

Dreams

It was then that I remembered my dream. In it, I had been having a discussion with a woman who resembled me but was very frantic and frazzled in her appearance. She had a familiar energy, though, like family. I don’t remember much of the interaction except that the woman was killed by a horse who kicked her in the head. I remember being invited to continue her work. I was not alone. My Companion was there with me.

Then I was a baby. A little, tiny baby swaddled up and just laying there helplessly. Innocent, pure – without memory or experience. The image of this baby and the feeling was very vivid.

Connection

The dream itself sparked a memory but this memory came from my heart and I can’t really put it into words. I knew that this was a recollection of the walk-in experience, though I really didn’t want to talk about it as it still feels odd to me to even use that word. Yet my heart flooded with such energy confirmation that I could not avoid being overcome by the love energy. I felt like I would just melt into my bed.

The energy in my heart just continued to expand and I associated it with my Companion. I knew this love energy in my heart was Us but I didn’t understand it and why it was happening.

The heart surge has a way of pulling me into the in-between when I let myself fall into it. This is what must have happened because the next thing I knew I was talking with my Companion. He asked me, “Will you marry me?” This made me laugh and brought me out of the in-between, back to the intensely expansive heart explosion.

Of course I said, “Yes”. It felt appropriate and also like there was some kind of agreement connected to it. Like a pre-arrangement for our combined evolution.

He said to me then, “We will grow together” and I again saw the little baby in my mind’s eye. It felt like we had been reborn together. There was a feeling of newness and curiosity.

It was explained to me then that we are ascending together, he and I, and that this is part of the process. He keeps telling me the intense purging, crying, and emotional rawness is all part of this process. It is letting go of the old soul – the walk-out. Releasing her. There was also a feeling of this being a process involving the spiritual “bodies” – moving through them, clearing and aligning them. Embodiment also kept coming up. I could see layers that were these “bodies” for lack of a better word. I don’t fully understand it but my heart tells me it is a normal part of the process, whatever the “process” is.

Walk Along

Finally, he referred to a group of three light beings hovering near the far left of my vision. They were far back so I only noticed them when he referred to them. He then said, “Walk along” and I knew he was asking if these Beings had permission to walk along with me/Us through this experience. I didn’t know what to say. So I asked if it meant they would just observe and felt this was right but that they would also contribute. They would contribute part of themselves to assist me. Like give me some of their energy but this doesn’t accurately describe it. I agreed. Why not? I can use as much assistance as I can get!

I felt curious about this “walk along” idea. I vaguely recall reading about it in Walk-Ins Among Us by Yvonne Perry. I visited her website and read this:

A walk-in can also be a companion soul in spirit form walking along with an embodied soul. A walk-in can be a fragmented aspect of a soul coming home and reuniting with the soul essence in a body. It can be a blend of soul essences in which two or more souls inhabit a body simultaneously. These may rotate in and out of the “driver’s seat” as needed to accomplish a task.

I find it interesting that she refers to the walk-in as a companion soul walking along with an embodied soul. This feels like my experience 100%. I feel the term “companion” is especially relevant. That is how Steven refers to himself – as my Companion Traveler.

I suspect that now that I have agreed to allow these light beings to walk along with me, that I will notice when they are present. But I don’t know. I guess I will see? 🙂

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Dead Dove

I was feeling pretty good….until I went outside to wait for my daughter to get off the bus.

I sat in my normal spot intending to enjoy some much needed solitude and at my feet was this:

dove

This is a white-winged dove They are native to Texas and often live in the city and suburbs as well as the country. It looks like this one was shot. It has an entry and exit wound right through its center. Who would have shot it? Likely neighborhood boys with BB guns. 😦

When I saw it my heart sank. I thought, “Oh no. Not a good sign! There’s goes my peace.” My second thought was that it means the end to a relationship.

I grew up around doves, specifically mourning doves in the hill country of Texas. I use to get a kick out of going near one of their nests and watching as the adult bird would fly off of it as if they were wounded. My grandfather told me this was their way of protecting their young. If predators thought the adult was wounded they would follow them and leave the nest alone. I have never seen another bird do something like that. It is ingenious!

Doves mate for life. I recall vividly my grandfather telling me how, when one dove dies, their partner will often sit next to the dead body and end up getting killed themselves because of their intense loyalty to their partner. I remember seeing this often as we would drive by a dead dove on the road. I always saw its partner not far away, usually on a tree or fence nearby. I thought it both beautiful and sad at the same time. As a kid I thought it was stupid because the living dove would just end up dead eventually. lol

Burying the Dove

Since my middle son already saw the dead dove, I let both my youngest touch it and lifted it up for them to see. It was freshly dead, still warm, and I could clearly see the entrance and exit wounds. I knew once my daughter arrived we would need to bury it. It just felt like the right thing to do.

My kids helped me picked a spot in our back yard and I dug the grave while they collected rocks. We put it in its grave and then covered it up. My daughter asked where doves go when they die. I said, “I don’t know. Dove heaven?” She said, “Is there such a thing?” I said, “Probably. It goes where all things go when they die.” My middle son kept asking why its eyes were closed. I kept repeating, “Because it’s dead.” I think he finally figured that out once we buried it. That’s him in the picture.

My youngest didn’t care at all about the dove. lol

I am hoping this “sign” is just a coincidence, but from the looks of it, it seems like a message to me. The poor dove was shot right through the heart. And it had just died. It must have fallen in that spot literally minutes before I stepped outside because it was still warm. It is cold enough outside here and the bird small enough that it would have been stiff after 15 minutes. How do I know all of this? Because as a tom-boy growing up in the country I was always messing with dead things. 😉

So maybe if it is a sign it is just to tell me that I will have little peace in the future. I really rather it not be the loss of a partner.

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Reminder: Keep Your Thoughts in Check

Today has already been very different from the last month. I awoke with an odd feeling – very “normal” and calm. I have been experiencing major up’s and down’s for some time, so the settled feeling was welcomed. My entire perception seems to have shifted over night. I wonder if this feeling marks the beginning of whatever Chapter 2 is all about?

Realizations

As is part of my daily routine with my two youngest, we went to the playground and then for a walk around the neighborhood. As I was watching them play I realized that I have been very much caught up in my mind for a while now, worrying about the future or wondering what to do next. I felt that this was a slip on my part but now I am at the point where I can resume focusing on the present, living in the present and living from my heart.

I knew my Team was communicating with me in their silent but intense way and was grateful. It is a knowingness that just rises up from within and brings with it a distinct presence; a We rather than a Me.

They suggested I practice meditation throughout my day, mainly keeping a watch on my thoughts and not letting them run a muck. With this came the reminder that I am manifesting my reality on a much higher level than ever before. It is very important right now to keep a tight rein on thought for this very reason.

I was also reminded that being present in the moment, not focusing on the future and what may or may not happen, is all part of learning to trust and follow the heart. When it is time to do something or change something I will know. The heart will tell me.

With this my heart began to pull intensely and my third-eye began to buzz.

Message well received.

So, I began to monitor my thoughts and keep them in check. I let myself observe and be present in the moment. It was/is a nice feeling. I can’t believe I forgot about it. I am corrected from within here – They say “You were distracted”. Yeah, okay, distracted. 🙂

 

 

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As You Like It

I had an odd feeling all day yesterday. It first began as a mild sadness that I quickly resolved by cleaning my entire house. When I clean it is like meditation and yesterday was no different. I quickly understood where my sadness originated from and so it dissipated somewhat. However, it left behind a strange feeling, one that I have had many times before. These feelings often indicate something is about to happen in my life. In other words, the feeling is a premonition of things to come; a warning.

It was late evening when understanding of what the premonition was about came to fruition. My husband and I had a long discussion about our marriage. It was a calm discussion with both of us confronting certain things that needed working on. I had little to say, though. The words just didn’t come and the conversation ended with my husband leaving, which is the opposite of what usually happens.

I went to bed feeling unsettled and oddly empty inside. I just could not contact any emotion and so felt something must be wrong with me. My Team was very difficult to contact and I noticed a distinct lack of the energy of my Companion. Where was he? I was told that he was within me. I accepted this and understood it to mean he is the closest ever to me right now. Is this a good thing? Bad thing? I don’t know for sure and when I settle in my heart space I feel only a warm solidness.

Dream: Rosalind

I asked for clarification prior to bed and was able to fall asleep easily centered in my heart space.

I found myself in my mom’s house standing by the fireplace with a man and young girl. I was fiddling with something at my feet and heard a noise on the fireplace mantel. I looked up and saw a small train on a track. I saw it go around once and then pressed the button to stop it. I remember being alarmed about the train, as if it was a bad omen.

I then looked at my feet and saw that a clock had fallen off the wall. I picked it up and checked to make sure it was not broken. It wasn’t and so I placed it back on the wall. I remember it was a grand clock with wood trim and that both hands were on the 12.

At this time the man and young girl were discussing a name to research. The name was Rosalind. I began to look up the name on a screen that just appeared in front of me. A long list of movies, plays and other connections to the name came up. I remember thinking there was no way I would ever find the Rosalind we were looking for. The man had found what he was looking for, though, and showed me his screen. I looked and saw the name written very largely. The man  and girl were very happy. I was confused and woke up.

Interpretation

When I awoke I still had the weird feeling I had the day before but this time it was accompanied by the sadness. I thought of the dream and wondered what it was about. My first thought was that the train was symbolic of the karma train I had previously dreamed about. The clock must represent time and the 12 is symbolic of letting go of the “old” and bringing in the “new”. But who was Rosalind?

I looked it up online and came up with two options. One is the character Rosalind in As You Like It. The other is Rosalind Franklin, a molecular biologist who “was responsible for much of the research and discovery work that led to the understanding of the structure of deoxyribonucleic acid, DNA.”

As far as I can tell by reading about the character and the person, Rosalind, it appears the major similarity is that both stepped outside the traditional role of women, taking on masculine-type roles in order to reach their goals. I don’t recall ever seeing the play, As You Like It, other than maybe the One Act Play version which I think I saw in high school while I was competing with my One Act Play group. Since my memory is rusty it may be time to watch the play and see this character in action. Maybe then my dream will make more sense.

Songs

When I woke I had two songs going through my head at different times. The first was Cold Play’s, The Scientist. The lyrics that were repeating through my head were, “Oh take me back to the start”.

The other song was Blank Space, specific lyrics, “I’ve got a blank space, baby, and I’ll write your name.”

Both songs don’t necessarily leave me with a warm and fuzzy feeling.

 

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Visiting Truth or Consequences

I slept like the dead last night. lol I always feel rejuvenated and energized after a night of astral projection, lucid dreaming, etc., but the night before last must have exhausted my physical body. That’s okay. I didn’t expect any intense journeying. My Team always gives me processing time – or usually anyway.

Dream: Visiting Truth or Consequences 

I had numerous dreams but won’t focus on them. I am hearing ever increasing from my Team that dreams “don’t matter”. This I am also hearing more and more about my past lives. “Focus on the past leaves a part of you there and you need all of You that you can get right now”. Good point!

I want to briefly go over a dream I had right before waking. In it, I was traveling along along a path with a crew of hardy-looking workers. They looked like miners, with suits and helmets the color of a golden yellow. I was the only woman.

When we arrived at the construction site I suddenly realized I had missed my destination. I asked one, “Did you pass through the town of Truth? It’s a very small town, hardly noticeable.”

He responded gruffly and with some confusion, “I don’t know ma’am.” I looked back down the path and saw the other crew members arriving. I looked at the site which resembled a very large factory of some sort with smoke rising out of tall chimneys.

I turned around and walked back, happy and skipping along like a child. I noticed that as I walked the narrow dirt path became a newly paved, asphalt road that spread for many lanes on either side of me. Yet I was the only one on it. I began to run-skip along the road, finding my travel very smooth and accelerated beyond normal human ability. I was skip-flying and it was fantastic.

I reached my destination and found myself jumping along an intricately wooden path. I was upside down but didn’t recognize it as such. I thought I was just on a strange road.

I jumped down to ground level and saw a man who was very, very good looking. He left and his secretary was there. I asked, “Is it just me or is he really, really hot?” She said,”Yeah, very hot.” I said, “I would hate to work for him! I wouldn’t get anything done!” With that, I got a complete overview of the man’s life then and there. It was like a dream within a dream. I saw he was a daddy of two little ones. I saw his wife as well and that she was not happy. He was completely dedicated, trying his best to fulfill his role. Very admirable.

The woman pointed to the ceiling at a pair of white tennis shoes and said, “Looks like you forgot your shoes up there.” I saw them and thought, “How did I do that?”

Then I was approached by another man who knew I was a certified teacher. He asked me if there was any way I would consider teaching 6th grade. He didn’t care what subject, he just needed a teacher and was willing to offer me anything I wanted. I told him I was unsure and needed to think about it. There was a feeling that they really needed my help and it was hard to resist.

Messages

When I woke I was very resistant. I knew what was being asked of me and was not willing to go there. One of my guides was attempting to get me to see why I should consider the option of returning to work. He kept asking me, “What do you plan on doing?” I kept staying, “I will stay at home and teach my kids. I don’t want to go back into the education system. It is horribly flawed.” He kept questioning me, and with each question came to me thoughts of what my future may hold – consequences of my different actions. I saw many paths – the path of staying home, the path of returning to work, the path of choosing a different career, etc. I saw how if I didn’t return to work that my certification would eventually expire. I thought of returning to school to get my LPC (I only have three classes remaining). All of the thoughts merged and created confusion. I said, “I don’t want to do any of it. I’m tired!”

I got up irritated and went down to have breakfast. My youngest came in to greet me and smiled up at me with such joy that it melted my heart. Such admiration and love – and all for me! In that moment all resistance melted away and I saw the message behind the dream and I knew what I needed to do.

Going With Truth

When I was being questioned this morning my resistance caused me to feel irritated. This is the “jagged” energy feeling of not being in the heart center. The consequences of which are initially irritation but the extreme can be extra “work” and taking a wrong path, one that is wrought with difficulty, sweat and tears (thus the construction crew I was with in my dream).

Resistance = Consequences

Once my resistance melted, I began to see a with new eyes and the idea of returning to work was no longer a bad idea. In fact, I felt completely open to it to the point of renewed interest. There was no doubt that I needed to return and work toward that return. I knew my next step was this. I had no doubt.

I began to try and think of why this route is coming up. Was it because I needed needed to bring in additional income? Was it to help a certain person? The questions increased until there was an interjection by my Team, a feeling of “let it be”. I had to Trust my truth. The reasons behind this new direction were inconsequential. To try and figure out “why” was pointless and a trap of the mind/Ego.

I have to trust my Truth.

There came to me the memory of how I was asked to leave my last job. I could see now why I had to leave. There was no way I could have gone through the spiritual acceleration in December while being at work. The past month required all my attention and much rest. Work would have complicated it. So simple, yet had I not listened to my heart and had the courage to follow it who knows might have happened.

The reasons we are led down certain paths are not necessarily the ones we think they are. There is a higher purpose for it and it’s always for the greater good.

Trust.

Truth or Consequences. We choose.

My Next Step

So now I am to focus on 3D. I let it slip over the last few months. Now I need to get back on track. Focus on my business, update my resume, be on the lookout for career opportunities. My intention now is to look for another school counseling position for the coming school year (Fall, 2016). This may or may not result in actually getting a job. I don’t really care if it does. My instructions are to be open to it, to prepare for it. OK. In the meanwhile I will put more effort into building my on-line business, which is doing well but could do better. I have been putting it off for too long.

3D things that are necessary. I have to live in two worlds. I can’t neglect one and expect the other to progress. Balance.

 

 

 

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Trust

After an exciting evening and early morning, I was finally able to fall asleep without crazy energy, visions and OBEs. I did still have some intense energy shooting through me which I soon found was easily calmed simply by focusing on my heart. I fell asleep centered in my heart.

Dream: Meteor Shower

I was in a parking lot at a college somewhere. It was very late at night and I had just finished reading a long email from someone who read my blog. The email was lengthy – at least four or five pages – and the man was from Germany and telling me his whole life story. I don’t remember his name now, but in the dream as I read the email I heard him speaking to me. He told me he was 44 years old, dark skinned and kept to himself and he was looking to work with others like himself living in one of four continents. I remember thinking he was a little too intense for me and laughing quietly to myself as I realized he was coming onto me.

At this point something caught my eye and I looked up and saw a massive meteor shower. Dozens of meteors streaked across the sky in a brilliant display of light. I was in awe. A young couple walked by and I pointed it out to them. They were a bit nervous as I was in the shadows and seemed to jump out at them. I just laughed and kept watching.

This was when a vivid image of a comet came into my mind. It was not part of the dream. It was just there and startled me awake.

Interpretation

When I awoke the comet vision was very much ingrained in my mind. On top of that, I was still feeling intense energy coursing through my body. This energy was similar to vibrations one feels when about to go OOB but more intense. I also had intense crown and third-eye activity along with some high heart and throat chakra buzzing.

I find the dream interesting because I feel I was actually talking to someone while in my dream. Could be he was an old friend or someone who astral projects or dream walks. Whoever he was, he was nice but a bit to the extreme. The energy was extremely intense and pushy but it was flattering.

Then I saw the meteor shower and the dream symbolism is that the dreamer is having romantic thoughts and/or idealistic notions. This just makes me laugh out loud, especially since I saw the brilliant comet right after. Comets indicate the dreamer needs to move on and free themselves from emotional and physical burdens. Touche!

Trust

It took me an entire day to write up as much as I could about my experiences last night and early this morning. There is more – so much more – but I am not sure telling it would help anyone or make much sense. Instead I will say that my Team came through with flying colors. Whatever they did for me during the night completely eradicated the “split” feeling I have been struggling with for the past five or six days. I have never been pushed to such an extreme in my life and really thought I was going to have to somehow just learn to live with what was happening to me. But when I woke this morning the split feeling was just….gone. I feel completely back to normal and freed from that inner hell. I had a marvelous day and have been feeling sublime. So wonderful!

In considering what exactly my Team did that shifted everything for me, I realized it had to do with Trust. That is it. So simple. I was in my heart space, but instead of just allowing the feelings and trusting their divine purpose, I ignored the knowingness and flat out went into fear. Somehow, through all my guided OOB lessons, I was shown how to trust the feelings and knowingness I found in my heart. So very, very important because in trusting the heart you trust that it will lead you exactly where you are suppose to be and that is the most freeing feeling ever.

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Hypnagogia and Guided Visions

After laying wide awake for some time, I finally pleaded to my guide for help. Amazingly, my mind slowed and I began to calm substantially within seconds of my request. I could not get comfortable on my side for some reason and so lay on my back and drifted into the in-between.

Hypnagogia and Guided Visions/Travel

I don’t know how long I was in-between before I began to notice what seemed like millions upon millions of tiny, green, opalescent bubbles in my vision. They were moving upward and made me think of being under water looking up at bubbles as they rose to the surface. I could feel my crown and third-eye wide open and felt subtle vibrations. Instantly alerted to being in the trance state, I did not react but waited calmly and observed. This is an usual reaction for me. Usually I get very excited and screw it all up!

As often happens when I become the observer, the bubbles dissipated and a white tunnel of light opened up in the center of my vision. I could feel my body buzzing and shifting and it occurred to me that I could exit my body, but I hesitated and chose not to. I felt I should just continue to observe.

In the tunnel I saw a plain white bedroom or studio apartment. If I focused too much on it, it would fade away, so I looked through it without focusing on any one thing. The tunnel expanded to fill my entire vision except for a sliver on either side. It was still circular and I watched as the picture inside began to move as if I were looking around with binoculars.

I watched the bedroom for a while, struggling to maintain my vision and perception. I managed pretty well because I was able to see the entire apartment. It was all draped in white and I wondered whose it was. I heard a response, “It’s yours”. The response did not surprise me. I am never alone in these kinds of experiences.

The Anunnaki

The visual of the apartment was then replaced by a spectacular view of outer space. In the center of my vision was a large, dull, metallic spacecraft. It was very tall and appeared to have multiple stories. I saw windows stacked one on top of the other. They were small and rectangular and circled the entire craft. The craft was round in the center with perhaps 8-10 circular levels that spun around at different rates. The entire body of the craft was shaped like a tall trapezoid, the bottom being longer and wider than the top.

After seeing the details of the spacecraft a woman appeared in front of my vision. She was very beautiful, with long hair that appeared white or golden in color. She had a band around her head at the temple that had an emblem on it that I cannot recall now. The band itself was golden in color and the emblem blue and green. She had human facial features but was definitely not all human. Her skin was grayer than ours and had a blue tinge to it. Her eyes were larger and slanted upward. The rest of her looked completely human. She was wearing a white jumpsuit of some kind with a blue belt and was holding a silver rod of some kind in her hand that was taller than her by about two feet.

She smiled at me and said “Anunnaki.” I could see her lips move so she was not just a picture. I then heard a light voice in my head that said, “We are headed your way.” This time her lips did not move.

Then the visual darkened substantially and I saw words fly across my vision. I heard the words as I read them, “Great Galactic War”.

That is when I saw  more spacecraft. There were more than I could count and they were moving. These were darker in color and had many long sections. They resembled a caterpillar. There were other ones that were faster that looked like rods. The biggest was so large I wondered what it could possibly be used for. I heard a male voice say something but I can’t recall it now other than hearing, “Dark”. My memory here is that they were also headed this way.

I did not react to any of these visions and so was questioned. “Do you not believe what we are telling you?” I said, “I don’t know. It’s so easy to assume it is just a dream or a movie in my head. It would be better if I had solid proof.” The response I got back was a feeling more than an audible answer. I don’t think they liked my answer. lol

Bathroom Horror 

The visions left and I was overcome with almost violent surges of energy. My whole body felt to be jumping and my heart began to pound in my chest. I knew this was a normal part of the deep trance state, so I just remained calm.

I began to hear noises that sounded to be right next to me. I ignored them. Unfortunately, my vision was still active and a new scene was opening up in front of me. I saw the inside of a bathroom, specifically the bathtub with a shower curtain pulled to the right. I could see a window above and the tiny white tiles of the surround. A woman was hiding behind the white shower curtain and I could see blood streaks on the curtain where her hand was holding it across her body. I heard her crying and saying, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Please don’t hurt me. I’m sorry….” This continued and was very, very loud. I felt as if I were right next to her in the scene and I did not want to be. Hearing her made me tense up and want to curl up in the fetal position. I identified with her. I felt that I was her.

I had past life memories pile one on top of the other and mentally called out to my guides to make it go away. Initially it did not let up and the moans from the woman continued. I was able to finally wrench myself away from the scene and open my eyes but my body was overcome with vibrations to the point that my teeth were chattering. I said to my guides, “That’s enough. I didn’t like that”.

I had difficulty going back to sleep after that. I felt I should have stayed with the scene of the woman and let it run its course. Instead, I panicked and pulled myself away from the scene. It is obvious to me that it was meant to remind me of my past lives, many of which I was beaten, raped and abused as a woman. I should have remained objective, but I couldn’t. Seems I got a tiny peek at what the next layer of the onion holds for me. 😦

 

 

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You Have to Learn Sometime

When I woke from the extensive OBE/lucid dream experience, I was buzzing with energy and could not go to sleep. John was there to help me understand just exactly why he led me through such a strange experience.

Follow the Heart

I was reminded of when I would leave the OBE and return to the in-between and asked why this happened. I knew that it was because I tried to take sole control of the experience – to do things my way. I was only allowed to stay or return to the experience when I aligned myself with my heart. This part of the experience was lost to me until John began to talk with me about it. I had not even noticed the change in vibration that accompanied my instant pull from the OBE.

In the OBE I was very obviously not alone and had to share control with John. If I didn’t, if I shifted out of the heart, then I lost the experience. I love to be OOB and so it was like a slap on the wrist every time I would return to the in-between. The difference in vibration was very noticeable when I looked back on it. I felt out of alignment. The energy almost jagged, seeming to jump haphazardly. When in alignment the energy was smooth.

It was then that John asked me to consider how my energy felt in the physical when I was not in alignment with my heart. I had an “ah-ha” moment here because I saw it very clearly – felt it very clearly. When not in the heart the energy has the same jaggedness. I am also not allowed to continue smoothly on my path. I am slowed, delayed. It is the same except in the physical there is an emotional component that makes it more difficult. It is much, much harder in the physical.

Messages

This is what I wrote down at 1am this morning.

John: This is a journey you agreed to. Many contracts. (I see the contracts burning up. Pages of them. Piles of them). This journey is not for the faint of heart.

Me: It hurts.

John: That is evident. Ego wants to be in control; to be safe. Heart trusts, knows control is an illusion. It is all trust. Source. You are being pulled where you are suppose to go. The pull is stronger depending on necessity and contracts involved. If the pull is intensely strong then there is a lot at stake. More will come. You are Remembering.

Me: I don’t want more of this. I can’t take it!

John: You have to learn sometime.

by

Turning Point

Last night was one of the most powerful nights I have had in a long time. So much happened that I will have to break it up into at least three posts, maybe more.

Here is a quick overview of what occurred:

  1. Discussion with one of my assistants about what has been happening with me and why.
  2. 9:30-10:30m – Semi-lucid dream/OBE.
  3. 10:30-10:45pm – awake briefly
  4. 10:45-12:30am – Fully lucid, guided dream that turned OBE several times.
  5. 12:30-1:30am – Awake and discussing what was going on and why. Multiple messages. I got up and wrote it all down.
  6. 1:30-3:00am – Couldn’t sleep. Too much energy.
  7. 3:00-3:45am – Amazing hypnagogic imagery turned guided “travel” while I was still in my body.
  8. 4:00-5:30am – Finally slept but had intensely vivid dreams related to the night’s events.

Discussion

Though my day had gone well, I was still struggling with the split feeling I have had for several weeks now. I had been asking for help – to understand and handle this feeling – for some time. For some reason last night wast he night the explanation was given. Perhaps I was finally receptive?

One of my assistants predominated the conversation that began around 8:30pm. He explained that what was happening to me was purposeful and that they (my Team) had been preparing me for some time (over a year). He reminded me that I knew this (I did) but did not consciously want to accept it. He asked me to focus on my heart, which is getting easier and easier to do. When I did there was an overwhelming knowingness of what was happening and why. It was always there, of course, but my mind has been in overdrive, my Ego not willing to accept what was happening.

According to my guide, I am currently in the process of “connecting to Source”. This involves the shedding of multiple layers of what I will call “the old me”. I again saw the onion as an analogy. Each layer that comes off reveals more old stuff to be healed, transmuted, and integrated. It is painful (obviously!). He said about the process, “Acknowledge it. Trust it. Allow it to help you transition.” What I feel in my heart is the accumulation of lifetimes, and beyond that is divine connection to Source. The closer I get to the center (Source) the stronger the pull is from it. The heart is the ultimate compass. We are meant to live through the heart, following it, trusting it. We have lived through the mind for so long that we have forgotten what it feels like to follow the heart.

He said many times, “You are at a turning point”.

He instructed me many times to return to my heart center, which I did. Each time the obviousness of what my heart was telling me to do was overwhelming but I did not run from it. It is kind of funny to think anyone could run from their own heart anyway. lol

I asked to get to travel OOB and was told it was now possible because I was “stable”.

OBE: David Bowie

I very quickly realized I was OOB but I was not in full control. It was like my lucidity was purposefully muted. I didn’t care, though, because it has been so long since I have been OOB.

I spent most of this OBE moving into and settling into two different bodies. The first was my exact duplicate or counterpart, not the physical body I reside in while on Earth. I don’t know which aspect but it felt fairly solid. I felt the energy shift as I entered and assumed this body. It was like I put on clothing. I don’t recall anything specific about the energy other than recognizing it was very obviously feminine.

Then I entered a fairly dream-like state where my lucidity was much limited. I was with my guide and knew his name was John and that he was teaching me something about myself.

The next thing I remember is moving into yet another “body”. Again it felt fairly solid but this time it was most definitely male. I had less issue shifting into this body and then, while setting in, I saw very clearly a man just in front of me. When I saw him I instantly recognized him as David Bowie! He didn’t do anything but stare into the distance, so it was likely just a symbol I was being shown. But he was very vivid!

After seeing him I realized something about myself had changed. I had a bit of amnesia as to my gender. I had no clue what gender I was and I didn’t care. I felt whole and it was wonderful!

I felt my conscious mind take over, as if allowed control, and came suddenly into my body. I was confused and elated and a bit shocked about the whole experience. My mind was going a million miles an hour with questions. My body was extremely hot and there was an intense amount of energy coursing through me. I felt like a firecracker!

I was instructed to shut down my mind, and I did so quite quickly. I looked at the clock and saw that I had been asleep only an hour. Once I closed my eyes I entered the void immediately.

In considering this OBE I believe I was shifting into different energy bodies. I don’t which ones for sure, though. Whichever energy body I shifted into was one that did not identify with gender.