Category Archives: shift

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OBE: Meeting Myself

For the first time in years I could not fall asleep last night. The download I received caused a trickle-down effect that had me overcome with both mental and physical energy. My entire body was alive with energy that seemed to hit me in pulses. Though not as intense as pre-OBE vibrations, they were noticeable enough to add to my restlessness. I also had tons of energy around my head, behind my head and at my crown.

Gentle Encouragement

at 1:30am I was finally fed up and threw a pillow across the room in frustration. I have session today and need sleep, so it was really bothering me that I may have to skip exploring more of my past lives. My frustration must have called my Higher Self because I heard a gentle voice remind me that I didn’t need as much sleep now and advised me to meditate. So I calmed down, propped up my pillows and attempted to meditate. However, my mind was buzzing and I could not calm so I had to do progressive muscle relaxation a couple of times.

OBE: Meeting Myself

The progressive muscle technique must have worked because the next thing I know I am inside a car looking up at a woman who is driving. I was suddenly fully aware that I was dreaming and fully aware that I was looking at myself driving. I said to myself, “You are dreaming”. She/I looked at me quizzically and kept driving, replying that she was not sure I was right. She gripped the steering wheel and I stood up and pointed to the sunroof. I began to climb up as I said, “See, watch”. I poked my head up out of the sunroof and felt the wind as it swept over my face and upper body. I could see the night sky and smell the air. Soon, the me driving, popped her head up and did the same. She laughed and closed her eyes.

Now no one was driving the car.

I turned to her and said, “You are me!” and she said, “Yes! And you are me!”. We both laughed and I found that I could take the perceptive of each Me without issue. I seemed neither more one or the other. There was a feeling of homecoming that is hard to describe and I had so much joy at this reunion that the moment will forever be locked in my memory. The cool air on my face, the brilliant night sky and my best friend, other half, Higher Self, sharing it with me.

The car continued on its own for some time and we enjoyed each others company. Then it headed off the road and toward a cliff. It went over the cliff and tumbled off into a lake far below. We both prepared to hit the dark water. I felt the water as I hit it and it seemed like I dropped forever, deeper and deeper into the abyss. I could sense the other me still in the car and disengaging later. I yelled out to her, “It will be okay. Keep swimming. Keep swimming toward the surface. We will get there!”. At this time there was a surreal feeling of the two of us becoming one with the stronger, braver of us being like a cheerleader and guide to the other part of us. Yet we were one.

I felt the panic of my other half but remained calm and continued to encourage her. My breathing was labored as I kept reminding myself that I could breathe under this water. It felt like forever as I forced myself to breathe and kept encouraging her/myself to keep swimming upward.

Finally we made it to the surface and jumped/hopped out of the water onto the bank. Here there was a moment where the me from this body was mesmerized by the other me. She was exactly like me in every detail. She told me, “Yes, we are the same. We are one.” She said other things, in fact we had an entire conversation here. I was over the moon with happiness and she was clearly pleased that this moment had occurred. There was no more fear about the walk-in information I had received.

There was a dream between this experience and the next, but I will not recount it. I was told by my HS that I needed to purge the worry and so had the dream.

OBE: Portal and Lessons

The next thing I recall is being with my HS walking down city streets. The city was seemed cartoon-ish and larger than life. There was a name for it but I don’t remember it now. It started with a “P” and sounded like Padmium.

We talked for some time about what was happening. I was shocked at how easily I transferred my consciousness into this experience. She told me I would get use to it.

At one point I wanted to fly. She told me, “We can’t do that here. We are practicing and it needs to be similar to the physical experience”. I nodded and then said, “Well, can we find a portal to somewhere else?” She said, “Yes, I know of one”.

Since we couldn’t fly, my HS created large toy cars and we got onto one and began to speed down the streets. I don’t recall the portal but somehow we ended up standing near a concrete lined waterway, talking.

My HS was now a transparent ball in my hands but was still talking to me. I practiced making the ball/me larger and succeeded, the now balloon-sized ball floated upward and sparkled with life from the inside. I experienced pure joy in this and the entire time we talking about how she, my HS, could teach me how to master skills I had. There was talk of manifestation among other things.

This OBE lasted many hours and seemed to stretch on and on. Many times I touched my sleeping body, probed it as if to satisfy my curiosity about this new experience. I shifted in and out with ease and was told this was something I would practice and that it would be used during daytime awareness as well. I was fascinated. Dream experiences during the day? It was beginning to seem possible.

At one point I met my Team and I entered a dream to do this. I was told later the names of the members who I identified as “the fat one and the thin one”. The fat one was Ron and the skinny one was Dave. I remembered Dave. I was told there would be many more meetings with them and that there were five, but I already knew that.

I then chose to end the OBE. I was worried I would not remember it all, which has proven to be true. There are so many pieces missing, so many in-depth conversations with my HS. But when I awoke I was, still am, connected in a way that I have yet to be in this life.

Conversation Afterward

My HS continued to talk to me and we practiced me staying in the in-between (easy really) because this is the ideal meeting place. She reassured me that it will be easy, this transformation, merging, walk-in. She said, “There is only one problem”. I said, “What?” She said, “You don’t want to stay”. I knew this to be true and said, “I have wanted that all my life”. We discussed this problem at some length and she explained how she could help, how we could work together to fix it.

I asked my HS her name and she said, “Athena” (Ath-in-a not the traditional pronunciation). She then gave me the rest of her name in another language that sounded German but wasn’t. It was impressive and familiar. Wow. I heard it clearly and she told me, “We will talk more”.

I fell back to sleep a few times without going OOB but am still wired with energy. I was OOB for three hours but feel completely rested. This merging process is awesome!

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Sudden Download

Today has been different from the past few weeks. Based upon what happened, I believe that my “break” or acclimation or whatever it is, is coming to an end.

Strange Symptoms

A couple of days ago, not long after I wrote my last symptom update, I had a odd sensation right behind my right ear. It was actually pretty painful and felt like I had been wearing a headband too tight for too long. I reached up to touch it and it was sensitive to the touch, too. I thought it odd and kept touching it, feeling where the sensitivity started and stopped. It was almost identical to where a headband would touch but I had not been wearing headbands for some time.

Only a few minutes later the pain had vanished and has not returned. However, a strong band of energy formed from ear to ear and around the back of my head. It comes and goes in intensity but remains today.

Then, today, as I was walking to meet a student, both of my legs began to feel weird. They felt rubbery and weak, as if I had just run a very long distance. I became worried and suddenly feared I would fall down and not be able to get up. I had a flash of what might happen, acknowledged it and it went away. Then I had a weird thought come into my mind. It was simply, “Walk in”. Not long after, the rubbery feeling vanished.

Sudden Download

For a while now I have been almost without idle thoughts throughout my day. When alone, I often zone out or think of the previous night’s dreams, but not much else. Today started out no different but after the weak, rubbery leg event I began to have that familiar feeling of time slowing down and me being in slow-motion.

For about half of the work day I had this feeling and shrugged it off thinking I must be tired. I have not had the feeling in so long I figured it was a fluke. But when I got on the highway to head home, it came on with much more intensity. I felt the familiar opening up of my crown and a sensation of being expanded beyond my body, wide-open and receiving.

It was then that many of the dreams I have been having began to link together and form a message. Added to this was songs and other thoughts that have randomly come into my mind, such as the song “Lightning Strike“, the words “walk in” and the phrase “Are you going to love me when I’m gone?” that is part of a song. I don’t recall exactly how it all fell together but I suddenly knew what was happening and felt frozen in the midst of receiving this message. I was unable to mentally process the information but a feeling of knowingness was present. A part of me was very nervous and had to be calmed a few times. I think it helped that I was not mentally analyzing what I received as it would likely only cause more nervousness.

I got stuck in a 45 minute snail paced traffic jam during this download. I doubt it was a coincidence!

I have felt urged to write everything down from the minute this download occurred.

sunriseOdd Thoughts

Now, hours later, I am able to process what was received a little better. I keep hearing the term “walk in” and, though I am somewhat familiar with the term, I had to look it up again. At first, I felt a very strong pull in my third chakra along with a nervous apprehension when I heard the term. Now I no longer have that response as I know it simply means that a part of me will step aside and let another part of me in. Thus my recent dream of giving up the reins of my horse to a much better, more experienced me.

It was explained to me, or rather I was reminded, that preparation for this next step was complete (this was the last few weeks of blah, deep sleep and lack of connection I felt). The knowingness that flooded me made me worry about my physical body and I am still not 100% certain of the meaning behind it. I had a memory of reading that sometimes when a walk-in occurs the individual becomes sick or has a sudden trauma that precipitates the final merging. I don’t know if this memory was meant to remind me of my own plans or not but it sure makes sense considering how stubborn I am and the massive fear that comes with the thought of letting go. Oddly, right at the moment I thought of this, the traffic suddenly stopped and I was forced to slam on my breaks and was hit with a huge adrenaline rush. I also began to experience a pain in my stomach akin to menstrual cramps, but I am nowhere near that time of the month.

I continued to think of the memory of what I had read and how the person is completely different afterward. I began to have thoughts of what it might be like. An entire scenario of how the new me would come in quietly and then begin to slowly reject people and situations in my life and how that might be interpreted. I felt like my husband would be discarded because he didn’t “match”. It all was very weird but what is even stranger is that I did not reject this possibility.

The fearful part of me, of course, worried I would be “gone”, but the knowing part of me understood this to be false. The old me would be absorbed and united with the other part.

The whole experience has me a bit overwhelmed with uncertainty, but I keep remembering that I am happy to have this happen. I am ready to “go”. It sounds morbid maybe, but that is the part of me that thinks of this as “death”.

I honestly don’t know how to describe my feelings right now or from the past few weeks. I don’t feel like myself, that is for sure.

Any help from the experienced is appreciated. I feel way out of my element here.

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Giving Up the Reins

I had a profound dream last night. It was one of many dreams. I feel I was on the brink of lucidity most of the evening.

Giving Up the Reins

I was at a gathering that was similar to a stock yard show or rodeo in its look and feel. I was standing near an arena that had a high, metal fence, watching people get onto their horses only to either be thrown off or successfully “tame” them. It appeared that the rider would cause their horse to go out of control purposefully. The goal was to regain control with both horse and rider safe, sound, calm and controlled.

I was aware that I was to be in this competition, too. I was standing next to this bay mare. She was spectacular and stood taller than me. She would nuzzle me occasionally and I would reach up and pet her, stroking her dark mane. I was very comfortable with her, which is unlike me both in reality and in most of my dreams. I am typically nervous around large horses.

I felt ill prepared for this competition and was discussing it with someone who I did not see but who seemed to change from male to female and then back again. We were discussing how I felt about going into the ring. I remember saying, “This is my first time. I don’t know if I can do it”. We discussed my options, one of which was to let someone else take my place.

At one point the decision became heart wrenching for some reason. I was particularly fond of my horse and did not want someone else handling her, much less taking her into the ring where she, too, had never been. It was at this point that I saw who would be taking over. She was a champion and had already successfully won several competitions. She was set to win this one, too, and had just completed her turn with top scores. She was tall, slender, and had long, flowing blonde hair. Her blue eyes sparkled and she appeared to know me and sympathize with my situation.

Emotion welled up from deep within me as I made my decision. I handed her the reins and said, “Ok. You can take over”. My whole body shook with grief at this decision as the blonde gracefully accepted the reins and prepared to mount my horse. There was a dark haired, shorter woman, standing beside the blonde who seemed disappointed. She said, “I guess I won’t be placing today”. I realized she had been set to win second place but now that the blonde was going to compete in my place, this other woman would be third.

Reflection

I awoke from this dream crying and knowing a decision had been made. I immediately recognized the horse to be me, my body and Ego, in this physical incarnation. I saw myself in this dream as the me I have always been in this life – a mixture of nature versus nurture to put it simply. It appeared to me that the goal here was to get “horse”- my Ego and body – under control in a way that I had not yet done. I was nervous, which is to be expected, and did not feel I could do it being it would be my first time. I was consulting with my guides and my Higher Self. I recognized, upon waking, that I had agreed to let my Higher Self take over. I am not sure why this was such a difficult decision. Perhaps I feel like a failure not being able to do this on my own? Or perhaps it is my affinity to my human form?

This could be my Ego reacting to this decision, but this decision feels very final. I was asked upon waking, “Are you okay with this decision?” and I immediately answered, “Yes”. The images and thoughts in my mind at this time were of me leaving behind this life and all its connections and experiences to return to the peace and rejuvenation of the Other Side. I was completely, 100%, ready to do so. I heard in response, “We will help you. It will be easy”.

I am completely calm this morning. Though I have not yet completely computed the experience in my mind, my heart knows this was a turning point.

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Symptom Update: Restoring Balance

Once again I am updating my symptoms, this time because I was prompted by a message from my guide that balance needed to be restored.

Current Symptoms

  • Upper back ache
  • Stiff neck
  • Visual phenomenon (will explain)
  • Ear ringing, tones and other odd sounds
  • Buzzing energy around back of head, third eye and heart
  • Feeling spiritually disconnected
  • Restless sleep with vivid dreams
  • Lack of motivation

The most difficult part of my current symptoms is feeling a spiritual disconnection. I understand this is necessary and that much is occurring during my sleep, but it is an unsettling feeling and I find it hard to find my balanced center.

The visual phenomenon has been going on for some time. The only way I can describe it is as seeing things, usually people, superimposed upon this physical reality. For example, I was talking to my daughter yesterday and I swear I saw a baby where her arm should have been, but when I looked down there was nothing there. I recognized this other being as a baby, saw it clear as day nearly naked and full sized, yet it was not there when I focused on what I saw. Other examples are that I will see individuals standing next to or over a part of a person I am talking to as I am doing mundane things. Sometimes these visual phenomenon surprise me.  Once I saw a tall man and I instantly thought someone was in my house who should not be there. I am getting more use to it now so I am not quite so shocked. So far, none of them have tried to communicate with me.

The other odd change has been to the tonal ringing in my ears. I am pretty use to hearing the tones now. The sound typically gets louder as I begin to fall asleep at night. However, the other night the tone is my ears got so intensely loud and began to sound ominous, like a deep, rattling machine sound. I began to think, “If it gets any louder I don’t know if I can take it”. When I thought this, the tone began to fade out and sound more “normal”. I have only had that sound once but the ringing sound is changing during the day, too. It no longer sounds like a tone but more like a “shshsh” or hissing sound, like the static of a radio. I have heard the radio static sound before when I had my first awakening. I only heard it when in meditation or in the in-between, not during the day. So it coming during the day is a bit alarming to me. The changes in sound go hand-in-hand with the visual phenomenon which has me wondering if perhaps these beings are trying to communicate with me?

Finally, I am the complete opposite of motivated right now. I just want to lay down and stare at the ceiling or close my eyes. I spent the whole weekend in such a daze. I knew I had to get stuff done though and finally forced myself to go grocery shopping and cook dinner. Even at work I am struggling to do what needs to be done.

I am told that balance is being restored and I suspect that my lack of motivation and disconnection is part of this process. There are way worse symptoms I could have so I am grateful that I am sleeping through the worst of it.

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The Dr. Returns

Last night was an eventful night. No, I didn’t project nor was I even lucid, but I had a sequence of dreams, all connected, that culminated in one nearly lucid dream in which I again met up with the Dr. (from previous blog posts).

Military

The first dream in the sequence was focused around the return of a military mission. I was inside a dorm room and waiting for a man to return. He was not my husband but someone I knew. I recall helping organize some things – photographs, keepsakes, etc – while waiting.

Infected

The dream then shifts from a military feeling to a medical facility feeling. I was of two Me’s – the me observing the dream and the me as a character in the dream. My character persona was wearing an all white hospital gown and there was a long conversation going on between the observer me and another individual, a woman.

The character me is standing in the middle of a bright white room as we are talking. This is when it got weird. A tiny, illuminated, blue square of energy shot out of nowhere and made contact with the dream character me. This blue cube was three-dimensional and about one inch all around.

Once the cube inserted itself inside the character me, the observer me knew this meant a physical change would occur. She (I) recognized the change to mean that having children was no longer possible and there would be a gradual deterioration of health.

Phil

There is a long period of blurred images and experiences during this time. I am aware of making the decision to be with a man much younger than me. My awareness is very, very diminished but I somehow know that we had sexual relations and am filled with a happiness and peace that is hard to describe. I remember laying next to him in a void. I say void because it seems so dark and devoid of features other than a long, wooden or metal “bed” which we are laying on.

When my awareness comes back to me, me and this man who I know as “Phil”, are discussing a third member of our group. She is the me from the previous dream, the one who was “infected”. I know she cannot be with us because she is struggling to manage her illness. I see within my mind a screen showing her vital statistics. The statistics are shown as a green line that is in an arc heading higher and higher. However, when she becomes infected the arc, a greenish color, begins to descend and turn red. I see this “memory” of the doctors explaining what she needs to do. She must take this medicine to manage her condition as it will slowly affect her, causing her physical condition to deteriorate more and more.

Then I am talking to this “other” me, who seems very child-like, even though she is fully grown. She is very frail and thin, her skin pale and almost translucent. I find her on the floor in a white hospital-like setting, with an IV in her arm. She is unresponsive and I say to her, “Why did you do that?” and in my mind I know she has overdosed on the drug she is suppose to take to help her illness. I shake her and am worried. I have a communication with her that is without words. In it, there is a vision of her showing me three drawings she has done. They are familiar to me and are childrhuman-dnaen’s drawings. I see my initials on the top of the paper and point them out to her, congratulating her on her ability to draw and write her name.

Phil, who had been with me, is now gone but I can talk to him in my mind. The dream becomes muddled here as I gain awareness. I recognize my deep connection to this man and know he is 29 years old. At the same time i recognize this number to be significant as it adds up to 11. I am so happy to be with him but know that our communication is limited to only times he initiates. I trust him, though, and know that no communication does not indicate no connection.

I attempt several time to write an email to Phil about the ailing me. I type his email – Philateree@gmail.com.  The first time I try to send I type the address wrong and it does not go through. The second time I type it, I wake up.

The Dr. Returns

I awake to such an overwhelming calm and peace. The dream sequence is still vivid and I try to make sense of it. Am I sick? Does the dream character me indicate that I am physically ill?

My mind is filled with questions and I struggle to find the connection with my Higher Self. Why can’t I connect?

That is when I sense my guide and recognize he is the same man as in my dream. I instantly think, “Phil”. I then remember the dream I had a while back about “Dr. Who” and realize that he is the Dr from that and other dreams. He sends confirmation.

Much knowingness floods into my mind and I recognize that for some reason I have been afraid of whatever healing is about to be initiated. My dreams represent this fear. The military connection has to do with emotional repression. The illness represents a need to be healed. The IV represents healing and that an important message has been missed.

The tiny blue cube was a mystery, though. What did it symbolize?

I heard a response – “Genome”.

This response confuses me. “What genome?” and I think, “The human genome”.

I had to get up and get ready for work so I had to stop communication there. I am still trying to figure out what all these dreams signify and I am at a loss. I know I felt good this morning, so that is a positive. I suspect that my Ego is overreacting, so I distrust myself to decipher what it all means. All I know is that the last time I met with the Dr he initiated an intense healing of my heart.

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The Light of Sirius – Communication from the High Council

Upon waking this morning, I immediately received communication from my Council. This is what they said:

“We are pleased of your arrival. We have been waiting for you”.

There then came into my mind the vision of what appeared to be a distant star.

“There will come from a star an irradiating light. You will experience this light”.

I then felt a pulsing energy hit me gently. It felt to come from above me and to my left. I felt it intensely from my shoulders all the way to my crown. When it impacted with my energy, there was a slight tingling within my mind and a spreading out of it within my energy field. It was not uncomfortable but it was a new, odd sensation for me.

I wondered what star this light would be coming from.

The answer was instantaneous: “Sirius”.

“We will need your help”.

I instantly agreed, though I was not sure what I was agreeing to.

I lingered in bed for a while, wondering why these communications so often come upon my waking. I kept feeling I should focus upon my heart but my habit is to focus on my third-eye. Either way, the communication seemed not to end but to expand, filling me with a feeling of obligation, or maybe “desire to help” is more appropriate here.

I am not completely sure what I am being asked to help with, but it feels to me that these pulses are a beacon of combined intention sent forth from this far away star, or planet or whatever Sirius is. This emission of intent – of love, homecoming, acceptance – has been irradiating for hundreds, maybe thousands of years. It is familiar to me, yet I am not sure why or how.

This light, or rather communication, seems to be about to impact me, and others. I am not certain yet what the result of this communication will be. A part of me wants to push against this whole communication, resistant to the “alien” distinction that so inevitably arises from these kinds of communication. Yet I feel pulled to listen and to quiet the dissension from within. There is a Knowingness that pervades my Being. All I can do is trust it.

As I write this I am filled with more Knowingness that this light signals the beginning of a further transformation for hundreds of individuals across the world. I feel a deep respect for the creators of this message, this beacon or signal from beyond. I feel they are great teachers and that they have been waiting to ameliorate the human syndrome from me.

I am at this moment experiencing an odd energy from my left. It makes my stomach flip-flop and the side of my head, neck, shoulders and my entire left arm tingle. I am in awe.

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Dream Themes

The sleep disturbances continue.

I have been medicating my sleep with Benadryl so that I feel rested in the morning. However, for the last couple of days I have felt I should not take it. In this time I have come to understand why. I was missing dream messages and it was time to take notice.

The change in my sleep patterns is obvious. It goes like this: I struggle to fall asleep and when I do, I wake immediately after a dream. I fall asleep and the cycle continues. I woke about five times last night and each time from a vivid dream.

Eyes

In the past two night I have had dreams where I am fiddling with my eyes. In the first dream, I was putting in my contact lenses. One of the lenses was a large, pink pill the size of my eye! I saw it, thought it odd, but went ahead and inserted it into my eye. I blink and it dissolved into my eye and I went about my dream without issue.

In last night’s dream I took out my contacts because my eyes were dry and placed them into large, square dishes the two hands in length. A woman questioned me and I told her, “My eyes are dry, so I am giving them a break”. I later put them back into my eyes as I was leaving the scene of the dream.

Eyes symbolize enlightenment, understanding, subconscious, and awareness. They also indicate there is something that is being seen clearer than it may have been in the past. I seem to be playing with my awareness in my dreams – noting how I can choose to “see” or not see. The pill is interesting and in itself indicates restoration and healing. It is pink in color, representing love. In the dream I am inserting it into my right eye which indicates that I am accepting of healing of my physical self.

Manifestation

Another dream theme I am seeing involves exploring possibilities and manifesting desires. In one dream I allowed my husband to buy us a new house. He bought a mansion and inside I explored the rooms. He spent $410,000 on the house, which was twice what I thought we could afford but I shrugged it off. Inside the house there was a room that was elaborate with gold embellishments and a huge drum set that took up half the room. I remember thinking, “This room is not necessary”. The kitchen had small, shallow, black filing cabinets lined up inside it. I remember talking to my husband about the files we could put inside them.

When I woke from this dream I immediately thought, “I need to manifest what I want”. There was a feeling that I am too self-limiting when it comes to material things in life. It is time for me to allow myself to have more. This was what I was exploring in the above dream. It exposed my belief that having too much is excessive as represented by the room with the drums. The filing cabinets represent things I store or file away for use in life such as beliefs I hold on to.

Celebration

There is also a theme that indicates I have much to celebrate. In last night’s dream I was waiting in a doctor’s office to get my papers to go home. I was with a group and we were transferred to a room where there were people gathered to remember a passed loved one. There were images of the person who passed and everyone was grieving but I felt no grief for him as I watched images on a screen of his life. In the images the man was gutting his house and there were tubes all over the place. He died as a result. I recall feeling connected to him and happy for his successful transformation. We were then were led to another room and all let out a cheer together for our accomplishment.

When I woke from this dream the leg I had surgery on was covered in healing energy and I had a feeling that all was well.

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Separation from Ego

As this day draws to an end I am finding myself contemplating my recent change in mood. I have been angry most of the day at my husband. What I began to realize, though, is that the anger I have been feeling is not real. It is like I have been mocking it up and putting energy into it. When I take time to inspect the anger it seems fake and hollow. It has no depth to it. In recognizing this, it vanished.

Interestingly this came with the thought: I am not anger. I am joy.

When I look back at times when I am calm, happy, peaceful or joyful, these emotions are not hollow. They are real.

Anger just feels untrue. It feels self-created.

It is Ego.

I feel quite satisfied with myself right now in my ability to spot this lack of truth and end it. In doing this, though, I ran into that crazy, strange alien feeling that I had not long ago when I went OOB while wide awake. The disconnect returned and with it came the calm.

I am not completely settled. My mind is too engrossed in what just happened and I need to take some time to settle it and stop trying to force understanding.

It just goes to show that the Ego may seem “under control” but it can rise up at anytime and throw your life out of balance.

It is experiences such as these that better familiarizes me with the Ego I have in this life. It is strange how separate I feel from this part of myself now.

I wanted to share something else with you all that I somehow forgot.

The other day while waking up, I awoke in communication with who I thought was my Council. I don’t remember now what I was saying but I recognized instantly that I was talking to my Self.

And I also recognized my Higher Self as female.

Ultimately the shock of it is what pulled me completely out of my light reverie. I silently celebrated for I have never, and I mean never, identified with this part of me as female. My Higher Self has always been male to me and I seemed always to reject the female aspect completely. When I thought about this sudden change I smiled. I no longer reject the female aspect of my Self! How wonderful!

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On Restriction

I began to notice an energy shift a couple of days ago. At first it was subtle but it was affecting me. I felt “off”, like something wasn’t quite right but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Yesterday the energy was even more noticeable and dense. It hung over me like a cloud and I recognized that the shift was coming in hard and fast. This morning I didn’t want to get out of bed and I my mood was sour. I have adjusted now, but it has been so long since I awoke in a sour mood that it surprised me.

On Restriction

Last night I requested more information on the energy shift I am perceiving. I also asked if I could go OOB, lucid dream, or at least have some sort of wonderful energy-bliss experience. Finally I asked to see my Council, since I had never seen them before.

I was told that the perceived shift was indeed real and that it was to continue for the remainder of this week. As for my request for some kind of spiritual or OOB experience, I was told, “Not for two weeks”. When I asked why, I was told, “Your body is in peril”.

When I heard the word “peril” I wondered if it meant death but immediately knew the definition here was “risk”. In contemplating why this would be, I knew that it was because my body was recovering from my recent surgery still and that what was needed now was rest and recuperation.

How odd that a simple surgery to close one vein could result in such a long period of rest. Yet there also was the knowing here that it is much more than just the surgery that is the cause of this need. The energy shift and the resulting reorganization of the energy structure of my body is also at fault. Dense energies such as these hit the lower chakras that hardest. These are the chakras that are the most blocked by upsets in life. For me the result is a bone-deep tiredness and fatigue mixed with a high mental energy and restlessness.

Golden Lights

I fell into a restless sleep, still requesting to go OOB. I received confirmation from my Council – “Your request will be considered”. This was enough for me as I have faith that my Council will do what they can to fulfill it.

I found myself in a very odd dream. In hindsight, it appears that the dream was odd because I would drift in and out of the in-between state, coming very close to achieving lucidity.

In the dream I was laying in my bed and there was someone with me. This person was nudging me and talking to me about “waking up” and kept telling me someone wanted to talk to me. This person was pointing and nudging and shaking me and I was vaguely aware of being in a gray, shifty environment. I would shrug off the nudging and say, “I want to sleep”. I could feel myself trying hard to wake up but I felt overcome with exhaustion.

At one point I spoke to this person, who by now seemed to have a feminine feeling about them. She was asking me, “Wouldn’t you like to talk to them?” and I responded, “I would like to talk to my Grandaddy”. I was flooded with images of my grandparents during this time. My arm was being pulled and I remember wanting to get up but also not wanting to.

Something about the conversation and the pulling sensation woke me up. When I came to I was in the midst of intense hypnagogic imagery and subtle vibrations. My vision was flooded with a golden mandala-like image that moved and seemed to breathe with life. It was quite beautiful and I noted that it contrasted with the black and white images that have been commonplace of late when I wake in such a state.

Recognizing that I should not focus on the images, I began to try and relax and fall into the vibrations. When I did this, I began to notice my heart pounding in my chest and immediately knew that this would be too distracting to allow me to leave my body. I ignored the heart pounding and looked through the moving mandala image. There I could see a golden, winding staircase. I willed myself toward it but I must have been trying too hard because the minute I did this the imagery disappeared and I was wide awake.

Not too upset over the missed opportunity I fell back to sleep into odd dreams. When I awoke in the morning, I was overcome with the sour mood. I immediately was hit with intense, calming energy that radiated over my entire body. When it hit my leg it was uncomfortable and it was obvious that the trauma from my surgery was causing it. I thanked my guides and sighed. Two weeks seems like such a long time. At least I got the hypnagogic images.

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Earth Changes – Message from the High Council

It has been a while since we last made contact. We apologize for any upset this may have caused but please be reminded that this is your experience and we will not interfere unless completely necessary. We welcome any communication requests, however, for that indicates that you have reached the milestone we had anticipated.

You request information about the state of the Earth and all its inhabitants. We will say the process has not changed much in the last few weeks and the physical changes that have been ongoing will continue as such in the next few years. There will be periods of political instability across the globe as these changes manifest. The oceans will suffer great loss of species as the climate changes begin to take their toll. Countries that rely on the ocean greatly will suffer first and their economies will come close to collapse as they try to find alternatives to fill the gaps in industry that result. The changes in climate will also continue to affect the weather. Floods, tsunamis, typhoons and other natural phenomenon will increase in the coming years. Droughts will continue with great devastation in areas already suffering greatly. The water shortages in places such as California will not decrease and it will become necessary to find alternatives to water conservation.

Yes, there will be a great deal of change and upheaval. This is unavoidable and there is not much that can be done to halt the changes that will come. Change will be now a necessity rather than an option. This you have known as we have already provided you with glimpses of this future and much consultation has occurred in regard to it. You have much interest in the fate of your physical reality as do most who have come to serve others. We/you do not want the stresses of change to cause undo hardship but in many cases this cannot be avoided. It is important to remember that the choice to suffer through the changes has been made by many. Those who endure these hardships and loss have chosen these lessons for a purpose that is their own. You cannot decide for them their fate.

With these changes and sufferings there comes a great understanding of the human condition and will to survive. These lessons are paramount as is your role in serving others during this time. A great coming together and opening of the heart of mankind will occur. This will be unlike any other time in Earth’s history. Though you will not live to see it, there will come a time of great harmony and balance. The path to living in harmony with the planet will be wrought with hardship but the battle will be well worth the fight.

There are many who suffer now with what they think is the worst possible hardship they could face. Relationship troubles, loss of family members, illness, career changes, job loss, violent arguments, money troubles. These hardship pale in comparison to the hardships of the future as what is to come is not on an individual level. As the heart is opened the inflow will be greater than individuals are accustomed to. This is a necessary change everyone who chooses the physical embodiment at this time must endure for without the ability to embrace one another the plan for a harmonized Earth will fail.