While communicating with E’Fonin in the early hours of the morning, I fell into the in-between state several times.
Business and Spiritual Demographer
Upon waking I had thoughts about my business return to me. This time, however, they were recognizing a synchronicity that had occurred but been missed.
A few days ago I got the idea that I needed to begin researching my next product. I put it off because I have yet to see my current product take off in the way I wanted. Then the idea came again the next day but I again put it off.
Then, yesterday, while talking to my husband on Bluetooth on his way home from the airport, he suggested that I go ahead and begin looking for a new product to launch. His exact word were, “Looks like its time to launch another product”. One of his passengers just happened to also be selling on Amazon and agreed.
These memories all came together quite obviously and I acknowledged the message. This is when I fell into the in-between and I responded to a comment made by E’Fonin about balancing the spiritual and the physical and performing the roles I have in each. I responded, “I am a spiritual demographer and a…” This brought me to full awareness. What the heck is a spiritual demographer?
Another Memory
I had another memory. I was putting codes into two objects. What is interesting about this is that the objects reminded me of something I had seen in a recent dream. They were some kind of device, long and cylindrical and metallic silver in color. These devices were to be use for good but could also be misused for bad, so it was very important to “code” them correctly. I remember seeing the codes etched in the metal and touching one of the devices. I believe their function had to do with light. They are held cradled against one’s side similar to how one would hold a very large, heavy gun. Then a light beam would seem to come out of them. The light is yellow and translucent and sparkly when it comes out. It is directed upward for some reason. Or maybe it is receiving light? Hmmm.
Lessons
After being asleep for about an hour, I awoke very suddenly as I caught part of myself preparing to leave my body. When I awoke, I remembered that this had been happening for quite some time now. I also remembered that I had been learning how to send parts of myself out – like on missions or something.
The reason I awoke this time is that I recognized the way the process works. An image forms in from of my eyes, similar to an OBE exit into a scene. But the image is static and 3D. It just floats in front of me. This is a “trigger” for part of me to go into the image and thus away from the me in my body.
From what I remembered, this occurs almost instantly upon me entering a light sleep state (trance). Sometimes more than one piece leaves in this way.
When I remembered these things, E’Fonin commented that I had been doing extremely well in this lesson and was almost ready for implementation. What it is used for I’m not sure. I am eager to resume OBEs, so hopefully that is what will happen when it is implemented.
Early this morning at 2:30ish I awakened suddenly from a deep sleep. I no longer remember the dream I was having so I suppose it is not important. However, I began to receive communication from E’Fonin immediately upon waking. Since the message was coming in strong, I actually got up and wrote it down.
Message from E’Fonin
We have awakened you to pass on valuable information and explanation pertaining to the processes you must go through.
You have eaten red meat. This is not ideal. The energetic makeup of animals is out of alignment with your own and so ingestion their meat should be avoided in order to maintain balance. It is ideal for you to consume only fruit and vegetables at this time because the animals of your time are not properly raised and their meat not properly prepared. In the past instructions were given on how to raise and prepare the meat of animals, but this information was lost over thousands of years. Your Bible is the closest record of these preparations. The “sacrifices” mentioned therein are remnants of a purification system for the cleansing of the energies of animals for safe consumption. Animals were allowed then to roam freely and only the youngest, most pure were selected for consumption. Thus, you must cleanse yourself of the energetic contaminants left behind by your recent meat consumption. As you do so, we will continue to adjust and align your energies. This must be done frequently.
It is of greatest importance that you do not consume the meat of any creature with eyes that face forward (predator). One example of this is swine. The energy of such a predatory animal is so out of balance with your own energy as to require extensive manipulation and purification in order to restore balance.
In this communication I saw visuals in my mind’s eyes that communicated much more than the words alone. I saw in my mind an image of a pig very clearly depicting the position of the eyes. In this I felt a heaviness and a lethargy. I was asked if noticed this change in my energy and I replied that I did and it became very clear to me how my own energy had changed in the two days since I began to eat more meats (chicken, beef, lamb). I also recalled the warning feeling I received at lunch yesterday when I had a Greek Gyro. I ignored it but later saw that a Falafel version had been available had I just requested it. I was most embarrassed, however, by my ingestion of two hot dogs the day before. I knew it was wrong but ignored it purposefully, justifying it by thinking, “A little won’t hurt me”.
I also saw images of a small lamb being sacrificed when E’Fonin was discussing the Bible. There was also the word, “Kosher” that came to mind. It occurred to me that the only close approximation to the proper preparation of meat was still practiced by the Jewish people. Interesting.
I asked about fish and was immediately shown the contaminant their meat contained. Apparently every biological organism on the planet is contaminated by a very heavy, sluggish energy (this includes us). Plants and grains appear to have been spared because of their reliance on the Sun for their “food” or energy. Also very interesting.
So it is back to eating only fruits and vegetables. I struggle with this because I have three children who crave meat. My consideration of this was met with the image of an egg. So eggs it is.
After the strange, very vivid dream of seeing a UFO, I awoke suddenly feeling the presence of a guide. I was immediately flooded with memories. When/where these memories came from I don’t know, but they were real and came at me like flashes. With each memory was a millisecond of full-knowingness that vanished as soon as my conscious mind began to inspect it.
Memories
A complete scene came to me very quickly. In it, I was with someone else who I could not see. We were ascending a golden pyramid-like structure. Or maybe it wasn’t actual gold in color, but the light was. The top of the pyramid was missing and this was where we were going.
There was a ball of golden light. When I saw it I had another flash of holding a ball of pulsating energy in my hand. This energy came from me and I was concentrating it into a ball and holding it, controlling it, utilizing it.
Messages
When these memories faded, I was left feeling very strange. The presence of a guide was hard to ignore. It is funny how they get my attention. It is like they become part of my consciousness; like they are me. Yet prior to this I do not have this same sense. It just suddenly IS.
I acknowledged him and as soon as I did he said, “You have been hiding”.
I didn’t understand. Hiding from what? What does it mean?
The message came as both visuals and thoughts. I saw a little girl kneeling down and watching from a hiding place. I heard, “Your fear holds you back”. I then felt a strange sensation in my throat, similar to the one I had in my dream. It felt like energy was stuck there. Fear was stuck there.
I could not stop the memories of my dreams from taking over my thoughts. I was reminded to control my thoughts – they interrupt communication. I settled in my heart space.
When I did this, I was told that the Starseed activation was commencing – the activation I was told about many months ago. This sparked the memory of the code I was given. I could even see the numbers.
Then I heard again, “You have been hiding”. I asked from what and was told I was hiding from my true Self; that I have been caught up in life of the physical form I have taken.
I did feel the resistance then. I have been struggling with the idea of Starseeds and other worldly Beings despite the experiences and memories I have had. It is strange to me and there is a part of me that thinks it is too good to be true while another part is completely distrustful of all of it. I convince myself that I am creating all of this; that it is all in my mind. This makes me feel “safe”. Yet the messages and experiences continue.
From the movie The Dark Crystal.
I managed to fall into the in-between at this time but was shaken awake by a vivid image of the guide I was communicating with. I saw a very pale face with an oblong head. What scared me, though, was that I saw more than just the head. I saw the body and it was very thin and spindly, very out of proportion to the head. The arms especially were thin and there were long, bony fingers. It reminds me of the movie The Dark Crystal and the UrSkeks – the mixed race at the end. I also thought of an insect when I saw the thin arms and hands, yet he did not look like one.
When I came to full awareness I asked if I was seeing him, my guide. He answered yes and I received a name – E’Fonin (Ee-Fawn-In). The name is longer but that is the part I could understand. I asked if this was his name and he said, “We do not use names here. We recognize one another by feel”. I received information then about energy signatures, which is the only way I can describe it. It is like an energy thumbprint we all have. Like our aura, but not. The aura is more body-related. There is a different “aura” when we are not in a physical body.
I asked where he was from. I immediately thought Sirius, but this was incorrect. I was shown our moon and directed beyond its current position in our sky. This did not help me, though, since I am unfamiliar with the stars and locations of constellations. I believe it is beyond Ursa Major.
Video Blog
I wish I could remember everything I was told, but unfortunately I cannot. This is common when I receive communication in the early morning hours.
One thing I do remember was that I heard that it is time now for me to explore creating a vlog. This comes at a time when I am doing videos for my product with my daughter and exploring YouTube.
In the past I avoided videos because of my work. But now I do not work. I stay at home with my kids. So my main worry about putting up public videos is no longer present.
I wondered what I would talk about. I was told that I would not know what information would come through, but that it would. I also was told that I would know when to do it. I then wondered why I had not attempted to video myself back in May when all the amazing energy and channeling occurred? I suspect it is just this type of energy that will prompt a video to be made.
So what do you think? It is time to record videos?
This has been an interesting day. It has really been pretty boring and mundane all in all…….except that I have had communication from my Team or someone from my Team most of the day. Along with this communication has come learning and information that was unexpected.
Lesson: Management of Thought
The day seems to have been an entire lesson on the workings of the human mind, or at least my human mind anyway.
It all began when a little voice interrupted my doubtful or negative thoughts. I recall the exact moment when I first recognized I was being spoken to. I had considered just selling all of my sewing kits and then throwing in the towel. “It’s too much work” was the last thing I thought.
The voice said, “Follow it through. Remember your intention (memory triggered) and go there. Persistence. Be the moment”.
Silence followed as I absorbed what I was told and recalled the image in my mind from the exact moment when I had the idea to start my business. This “image” was important. I needed to continually refer to that memory and then let it be the last thing I think about, tossing out all doubts and disappointments.
There was more. I was told to push past the pitfalls. Nothing is accomplished without a little elbow grease. Greatness is achieved not by those who know all but by those who seek to know what they do not.
I was reminded of Abraham Lincoln specifically. Try, try, try again. Build upon the knowledge you gain. Push past the failures. Ride over the bumps.
Throughout the day, I kept wanting to go back to the dismal thinking, the “woe-is-me” attitude. I honestly don’t know why I kept doing this. I was told it was because I thought it was what I was suppose to do. Interesting.
This continued on and off all day. The more it happened, the less I fell into the depressing, defeatist views and the more I focused on the moment.
When I noticed my mind was clearing, I heard the voice again. “Imagine complete clarity”. He let it settle in. It was hard to imagine but I think I got the gist of it. He continued saying, “That is how you will be”.
Now that I have time to reflect on today, I recognize that I was being taught about how my mind works and how to control it. I was being shown how to manifest by focusing back on my original intent rather than allowing myself to go off the path into doubt and fear. In the moments when I was being spoken to, I felt as both the experiencer and the observer at the same time. Very similar to some of my OBEs.
The Voice
There was always a feeling that accompanied this voice. The feeling was similar to how a student feels when their teacher is asking them questions in front of the class or teaching them something one-on-one. But it was not a feeling of subservience or of being any less than the teacher. It was more of a reverence; an understanding that I was hearing wisdom and needed to absorb as much of it as I could.
When I asked who the voice was, I got a very complicated name that I have lost now. It was definitely not a name I have ever heard in this life. What is funny is that as soon as I heard it I said, “Oh yeah. I’ll never get that one”. I knew it was pointless to even try to remember it. So I didn’t.
Regardless of who this voice belongs to, I know he is male and I know that he is one of my mentors. The sense I got was that he has come ahead of something else – as if he is preparing me for something that is to come. The closest thing to the feeling I got with him around me was from this past May. I have been asking for that to return. Perhaps something like it is coming?
And he is still here, though currently much more silent. His arrival was preceded by strong crown chakra this morning. This is also similar to how things began in May.
Last night I once again did the pyramid visualization meditation before bed. This time, however, the pyramid began to spin very quickly to the right. I did not intend this, just saw it happening. It then slowed and I began to drift into the in-between.
New Awareness
I don’t know what I did in the in-between. It is like I have amnesia. I recall pictures and conversations occurring, similar to a light dream state, but that is all. What I do remember is suddenly opening my eyes and coming back to full awareness. When I did this I felt energy come in from both my left and my right. What is crazy about this is that I recognized the energy as me. In fact, I recognized it as distinct pieces of me coming in from somewhere outside of me.
At first I was nervous about it because the energy was so intense. When it returned to me it felt like it added something to me; like I grew larger because of it, but not in a bad way. The thought crossed my mind that I had just taken on another Spirit; that Spirit was piggybacking on me. Yet there was a calmness that remained with me and those thoughts just dissolved as if they were “nothing of note”.
It was then that I Remembered, or maybe I was told and it seemed like a memory, that I had been practicing in previous nights over the last week or so how to control my energy, or “essence” may be a better word. It is complex and something far above my human comprehension, but it is something my heart understands. In fact, when I Remembered these “sessions” I felt assured that whatever I just experienced was not to be feared but to be embraced. I was re-learning an important skill that had been lost.
The feeling of being “broken up” and then reconstituted was the beginning stages of these lessons. Now instead of feeling hundreds of pieces I feel only a few. What is most interesting is that in these few I recognized them to all be me. It was like I could transfer into any of them and have a different perspective, similar to the OBE where I met myself and did exactly that.
Visions and Dreams
In my sleep and in-between states after that I received messages, some not so good by the looks of them.
Recruits
In one in-between flash of a vision, I was presented with a long list. The top of the list had the title, “Recruits”. As I read it, I woke fully from my reverie and was a bit startled. I had an instant memory of the messages I had received about there being spiritual soldiers sent to Earth to help. Was this that list of soldiers?
Burning Earth
I awoke from a disturbing semi-lucid dream. I clearly recall being embraced in silken-looking, translucent white wings or petals. They wrapped around me and I called them by a name which I cannot remember now. They were not connected to a person, but appeared to be part of a system of transport into space. In fact, I was floating in space and looking down at Earth. Except Earth was not its normal beautiful green and blue with swirls of white. No. This Earth appeared to be molten lava, a swirling mass of red and black. It was horrifying yet I was not horrified.
Rescue Capsule
I had a detailed dream in which I was a teacher with students. The students had discovered a room and gone into it without permission. I found them and went inside this room. Yet when I went inside, the room was not a room at all but a tall, cone-shaped capsule with stairs that spiraled upward. The student had gone up the stairs and I had to get them down. I explained that this capsule was only for use in emergencies. It was meant to evacuate and not a playground. I was very serious but the students were not.
I remember the capsule very clearly. It was made of a silver metal and there was paneling, some of which contained controls and buttons. I remember when I looked up the stairs that it was not time to go “up”, yet that going up those stairs meant freedom, or at least something better than what was down below.
So Many Questions
My third-eye continues to blaze, though not all day now. It seems to come on suddenly without warning, and then tones down.
There is also ear ringing that comes on suddenly as well. Last night I had ear ringing and distinctly felt the presence of Spirit to my left. She knelt down and put her hand on my left arm and asked, “Do you see me?” I told her, “No. I’m sorry. I can only feel you”. I did not try to continue the conversation for I was about to meditate and did not want the distraction.
All these strange changes and energy experiences have left me with so many questions. I don’t understand what is happening and I want to know. I ask questions in meditation and then I have the strange visions and dreams. I was told that I needed to be able to transfer 50% of myself into something, what it is I am not sure. I saw it, but forgot most of it as I became startled by it. However, this transfer of Self is why I am practicing the manipulation of my essence (can’t really adequately describe it).
I am surprised I have not convinced myself that I am crazy with all this going on. I am actually fascinated, especially by the experience I had last night of being three me’s all at once. It felt so natural and normal – yet it wasn’t, at least not to this part of me.
Yesterday, I kept thinking all day that I need to sit down and open up communication with my guide, but I couldn’t. My kids interrupt too much and I could not get my mind to settle. I’m thinking non-stop about my business and what I need to do. And when I’m not thinking about that, I am tending to my children’s needs and what I need to do for them.
Yet I knew that there needed to be a still time; a quiet time to Receive. I tried. Honestly I did, but when I did there was always an interruption. 😦
I knew that the information I was to receive was about the New human form. The human of the future. My curiosity was peaked.
When I read The Convoluted Universe Book 1 last night, it just so happened that the chapter I was reading was about this New human. It said the New human would not be physical like we are now, but we would have form and shape and be somewhat solid. Interesting.
A Conversation with Robert
Last night and this morning I was closely tended to by a guide I am not familiar with, at least not consciously. When I felt him last night, there came with him wave upon wave of loving energy. It came up from the base of my spine and then spread out with such a loving warmth that I could not ignore him or it.
When I awoke, he was there and very close. I could see him fairly clearly, especially his smile. And he radiated a feeling that made me smile. I cannot help but smile and almost giggle from his energy. It’s my favorite part about him.
He gave me a name – Robert – and I could not, still cannot, remember him no matter how hard I try. We talked for quite a while about the things that have been going on. He reminded me that everything I had been reading in the Convoluted Universe had already been given to me. I recognized this as true. This includes but is not limited to the information I have been given about “the end of times”, DNA alterations, merging with the Higher Self, ascension, the Shift, and even the ETs.
All of these things were written in the book but came after I had already received information. It is as if the book was meant to be confirmation of what I had received.
Yet it is still hard to believe and so I asked many questions of Robert. Who is he? Are the ETs real? Will there really be a New human, a New Earth, and a “rapture”?
His explanation of who he is makes sense. He said he is a part of me sent to assist me. He is me yet he is not. My Higher Self sent him to assist. He is my Remembering so to speak.
When I asked if the ETs are real, I hear they are but they aren’t. The not-realness has to do with them not being a part of this physical universe. Their realness is consciousness. Their involvement is via consciousness, via the part of us that is not physical. This is the best I can describe what I was given. I was asked in return, “Does it really matter who they are?”
And I replied, “No, it doesn’t”. And the subject was dropped.
When I asked about the New humans, I was told this is an evolutionary process. The information in the book I am reading is where we are headed, but it will take time and the process is much slower than the book relates. All matter of the physical universe is changing, evolving. This is the way it was meant to be. It was created to evolve.
The “rapture” is not as it is written in the Bible. It is not to occur at the physical level. It is a purely spiritual process, one that is individual.
The experiences I have brought back with me from my time OOB and in-between are symbolic representations of what has actually occurred. To see what truly occurred would be incomprehensible to the human mind. It must be surpassed to truly Know. Because of this, it is best to focus on the feeling of the experience rather than the symbolism.
We discussed at length my struggles in this life, specifically that it seems time goes by so slowly and it takes so long to get what I want. I wondered why it took me so long to get to this level of awareness, why did it take so many lives?
And with that last question I quickly reviewed my last three lives and saw very clearly that I was incorrect in thinking that I just now became aware. I have had the awareness, this connection with my Higher Self, much longer than just this life. It has always been there. And I saw it. I remembered it. I remember feeling the homesickness in my life in Mississippi as a black woman. I remember this awareness in my life in the Midwest when I was molested and emotionally abused by my father.
I remember this awareness in the very beginning of this life and I saw just how very different from my family I am. I was born into a family that is not mine in Spirit. I was born with awareness, with a deep connection to my Higher Self, to the All. They were not. No wonder I felt so different from them.
It made me sad but at the same time it humbled me. There is so much I do not know consciously, yet I can feel so much of what I know if I just tune in.
Robert continued to remind me of my progress. His smile and the feeling of joy that he brings is so lovely. I am grateful to have been given his assistance.
Today is my last day of work. I took a half of it off because I have days to burn. I was also hoping to get more sleep. I did, but not as much as I would have liked.
I have mixed feelings about leaving work despite knowing it is the right choice for now. I will miss some of my students and those coworkers whom I developed good working relationships with. One coworker sent me an email thanking me for helping her son and asking for me to let her know if I ever go into private practice. It is her son that I am saddest to leave. He is sad, too. He cried when I told him I was leaving. 😦
It’s wonderful to feel I have made an impact in someone’s life, even if only a small one.
Gaping Hole
I don’t know if it is just me leaving work that is causing this, but I feel a gaping hole in my life. I think it has always been there but now it seems bigger. There is nothing there. It is just empty and the emptiness of it is what bothers me the most. The bigger it gets, the more empty I feel inside.
I have tried to fill it with things – activities, movement, mental tasks – but when all is done it is still there. I go within and find it there and it is not scary but I don’t know what to do with it. Do I fill it? Do I leave it alone? What is it anyway?
My guide told me this morning, “Why don’t you just rest? It is okay to take a break”. Perhaps, but I am such a busy-body, so use to keeping myself and my mind occupied, that taking a break is not all that easy for me.
For example, I awoke at 5am this morning and immediately my mind began to fill with thoughts of things I needed to do. I even got confused on what day it was, thinking it was Friday and then Wednesday and finally getting to the fact that it is Monday. There are so many lists of things I have to do – exit paperwork for work, promoting my new business, resolving a return of a large product I ordered, a parent-teacher conference, and so on and so forth. All these things flooded my mind and I panicked when I accidentally thought it was Friday.
It’s actually kinda funny. 🙂
667 Days
Out of control thoughts, even if they appear productive, can bring a person down really fast. I reacted by begging my guides to help me return to sleep and asking when I would return Home.
Surprisingly, I got an answer the to second question immediately: 667 days. Really?
Of course, I immediately thought there is now way that could be accurate. Why would my guides reveal something like that? Maybe because they know I will forget it. I forget so easily.
667 days is just under 2 years from now. “Home” I believe is not me leaving this physical body via death. I believe it is reestablishing a connection with the part of me that is Home, is always Home. It is a feeling not a destination.
Mind-Heart Connection
It is clear to me that I have established a link between my mind and my heart. It is undeniable to me now. Every night I feel it as I relax and prepare for sleep. My third eye lights up like a beacon and my heart follows. It is like clockwork.
I feel it throughout the day, too, but mostly it is my third-eye that is blazing throughout the day. It is doing so now and any time I check for it, it is there as a reminder that I am always connected. Sometimes it blazes so intensely while I am doing mundane things that I cannot help but stop what I am doing and notice. It is like I am being asked to take notice of the moment. To not get lost in all the “things” I have to do throughout the day.
My crown chakra is also buzzing, but it is less in comparison to the huge pulling sensation in my third-eye. The energy helmet is becoming so familiar to me that it goes unnoticed until the energy in my crown reaches similar proportions to that of my third-eye.
Honestly it feels like my head is a beacon of light.
20%
In one of my intense, third-eye energy moments I got a vision along with a message. It was a timeline, or at least that is how it appeared to me. I could see that most of the line was colored in in green. It reminded me of the download screens one gets when downloading something from the internet. Towards the end of the green line there was written “20%”.
As soon as I saw it I got the message that I only have 20% left to go. I did not feel encouraged. Who knows how long it will take to download that 20%. My connection often gets interrupted. 6 minutes can take an hour.
Things have finally started to settle down. I am getting a full 8 hours of sleep at night now and my dreams have returned. Unfortunately, I am still waking up wide awake at 5:30am.
Deceased Loved Ones in Dreams
For the last few nights I have had dreams in which I met up with deceased loved ones. I specifically recall dreams with my father and my grandmother in them. In a dream last night I saw both my grandmother and my father in the same dream but in different parts of it. I remember acknowledging my grandmother when I accidentally noticed her sitting across from me at a table. I said, “I didn’t know you were here!” but I don’t remember anything else we talked about. When I saw my father it was in a similar situation but I knew he was there and was quite comfortable with it, as if he had always been there and not died at all.
I have not seen my father in my dreams or astral in a very long time. I want to say about 10 years. My grandmother just passed away last year and so this was one of the first times I have seen her in my dreams. I have had contact with both of them via my mediumship ability while completely awake and doing other things. My grandmother in particular was quite demanding of my attention after she crossed over. My father was as well (he was my first Spirit connection), but I actually asked my father to stop coming to talk because it caused me so much emotional upset. So he chose to visit me while I was astral projecting or dreaming so that it was less emotionally upsetting.
I have a vague recollection of seeing others who have passed in my dreams lately, too. I think my husband’s boss and wife both have visited me, as well as my great uncle. I remember my great uncle gave me information about my great aunt, my grandmother’s sister passing away soon. I also got information about my own aunt, my Mom’s sister, and health issues she would have.
What is odd is that I had not memory of most of these dreams during the time period in which my sleep was interrupted by the strange vibrations and experiences, yet now they seem to be returning to me. But they are so weird! Why would all my family be visiting me now?
Dream: You Have Been Transferred
One strange dream from last night came with a message.
In the dream, I was with Tom Cruise (this is the second dream with him in it!) and he and I were dating. I remember him being very ambivalent towards me. I recognized this and so was hesitant to get close to him.
He took me to a place where I ran into my grandmother. I remember being in a room of a large building, like a mall, that had a kitchen sink and I was cleaning the dishes and talking to my grandmother about something, kind of like small talk and relationship advice.
Then Tom showed me a cell phone that had a message on it, like a fax receipt. He said, “Look! You have been transferred!” He acted like it was a big deal and showed much excitement about it. When I saw it I felt like it was not good news and was not pleased.
This message stood out to me for some reason, as did the fact that Tom Cruise was there. I don’t have any sexual attraction to the actor and don’t know why he keeps showing up in my dreams.
More Light Codes
When I awoke from this dream, I was seeing light codes. They began in the light, cascading down from above. As I awakened the light turned dark and the code became gray. It flowed down around me like a waterfall. My third eye was pulsing with energy as was the back top section of my head. I have no idea the meaning of the codes. They just looked like squiggly lines, circles, and shapes moving down around me in my vision.
Controlling My Own Energy
One last interesting change: Last night before bed while meditating and connecting with my Companion, I had an unexpected breakthrough.
My typically meditation involves me laying on my back with my eyes closed and focusing on my third eye and heart simultaneously. When I do this, my third eye lights up immediately or intensifies (it seems to be active most of the day now anyway). Then my heart will light up, as if in response to my third eye. Sometimes my second chakra will light up with energy as well. It is at this point that communication with my Team, Council and/or Companion in initiated. This has been my nightly routine for a little over 2 weeks now, maybe longer (lost track).
What is different about last night is that I began to focus on the energy and will it to build up. When I did this there was an intent to connect with my Divinity. My second chakra had been warm and tingly but when I began to focus on building the energy, there was a spreading out of warmth from my heart chakra and I could feel the energy rising up from my root to meet it. My second chakra seemed to vibrate more intensely because of this. All the while my entire head was buzzing. It felt wonderful and was beautiful. I felt my entire being vibrating with warmth and love.
I realized while this was happening that I was doing this and had always been able to do it. It was so easy to move the energy! Unfortunately, my mind began to wander and the intensity subsided.
I’m not sleeping much these days. I don’t fall asleep until midnight and then I wake up around 5:30am and cannot return to sleep. I continue to hear that I no longer need as much sleep. Perhaps, but I feel like I need sleep and I like sleep, so it makes a bit grumpy to have it taken from me.
This morning when I awoke I felt calm and well rested. Despite this, I still wanted to go back to sleep. I was feeling energy sensations around my head and knew the “work” was on-going. I decided to meditate since I felt my Council close once again.
Almost as soon as I began to meditate, information came flooding in. When it came in, it sparked a memory of something that had occurred in previous nights that I had long forgotten. What I experienced was a “light code transmission”, at least that is what I recognized it to be when I saw it.
To describe it is limiting the experience of it; however, I am told my job at this current time is to report my experiences in order to help others “feel less alone in their transformation”. As I rarely hear from others experiencing what I am, I trust that there are in fact many others or there will be others that will need to know this so that they do not “fall off the deep end”.
Light Code Transmission
What I saw/experienced was a beam of golden light that seemed to shine down from above with seemingly no source whatsoever. In it, I could see strange symbols. The glimmered and were somewhat transparent yet they also had a golden hue about them. The symbols were none like I have ever seen on Earth. I saw many circles and loops along with some strange squiggly looking lines that appeared to move as they descended. I also saw many lines and zigzag patterns.
When I saw this in my memory I heard these were transmission codes, which confirmed what I originally called them. I asked if they were a language and was told, “No, they are thoughts” yet I knew the word “thought” was incorrect in its description yet it was the most precise our language could offer.
I was told I had been receiving these codes for sometime and was reminded of the symbols that had come to me back in May/June. I asked if this was what the “call” was and was told it was not, that I was called in 2003 (the year of my awakening) and that this was the month that another such call was to be put out. These “calls” are in fact transmission to the Starseeds. It is a sort of activation in that it awakens them to their true purpose, one that many are not aware of and some may outright reject.
Enter the Shadowlands
I must have drifted into the in-between because I heard very clearly the title of a book or similar. All I can recall now was the last part of the title: Enter the Shadowlands. This is because I chose not to get up and write it down. I am kicking myself for that now.
I questioned why I was receiving this information and felt I should research it further. The “shadowlands” to me feels like a dark place, one that I would not want to go. Yet I am told my “work” involves this. I have not had any luck in finding information about the shadowlands as of yet. I suspect this place to be the lower astral realms as I was reminded of my awakening in 2003 and the vision I was shown of standing between two worlds, one that was dark and one that was light. Perhaps the Earth is the shadowland?
RoshaiYelle
Falling back into my reverie I saw standing in front of me a very small being. She was pretty in her own way but very obviously not human. Her skin was a very light gray color and had a sheen about it, especially the top of her head which seemed smooth and soft. I very much wanted to touch it and see how it felt. She had very large, blue eyes but not so large as to make her look out of proportion. She almost resembled those Japanese anime cartoon characters with big eyes. She had a tiny nose and very small mouth with thin lips. She smiled at me and I felt a calmness from her, as if she were sending the message to not be afraid.
I somehow knew she was female and as if to show me this, I was drawn to look at what appeared to be earrings on her nonexistent ears. They were an emerald green color and sparkled.
As I became more aware, her image disappeared and my questions were answered as the thoughts appeared. I heard a child’s voice say to me, “Her name is RoshaiYelle (Roe – Shy – El). She is one of your guides. Yes, she is small. She stands only 4 feet 2 inches of your height”.
The image of her was so intensely ingrained in my mind that I had to draw what I saw. I am not much of an artist but I think I captured her pretty well. I wish I could add color for that would give you a better impression of how beautiful she is. There is nothing but kindness, love and understanding coming from her.
I struggled to fall asleep last night. A song kept going through my head and it wouldn’t go away.
We all are living in a dream,
But life ain’t what it seems
Oh everything’s a mess
And all these sorrows I have seen
They lead me to believe That everything’s a mess
The bold words were the one’s that repeated over and over.
Odd Sensations Return
I must have fallen asleep, though I don’t recall it. What I do remember is awakening very rapidly to a situation similar to the night of the 7th of October. This time, though, I was aware of a conversation taking place between another version of myself (my Higher Self?) and another individual. I don’t recall what was being said, because my focus was on the strange sensations coursing through my physical body.
The sensations were intense and focused mostly on my head, which felt to be exploding with energy from my third eye. The typically circular area of energy that is normally my third chakra was a gaping hole almost the size of the entire front of my face! In addition to this strange, gaping hole of energy was a strange sensation on the back top of my head. The energy felt to be pulling and going out instead of into my head. It was not painful, but close and I could feel a slight headache beginning.
My heart was doing something odd. It was a feeling I have never experienced and my heart was flip-flopping around in my chest in an irregular pattern. There was also a feeling of energy escaping, or maybe it was being sucked out of me. I remember thinking I was going to die.
This concern, of course, panicked me and brought me to full awareness but not before I recognized what was happening. The conversation, which had been going on while I was become more and more aware of what was happening, had given me enough information and I remembered it.
Understanding
As soon as I awoke the sensations in my body diminished substantially (thank goodness!). Energy was still coursing through my head. It was similar to the “wide open”, receptive feeling I use to get with a “download” except that the intensity was much more and the energy seemed to be both coming in and going out. It was the outflow of energy that was the most uncomfortable, though.
There was instant understanding of what had just been discussed. I remember distinctly hearing the other Me talking with a guide. This other Me is the Me who came through in May, the Me who Remembers her Starseed origins along with so much more knowledge. I heard her talking about me, using the pronoun “she” instead of “I”. I felt like a child whose parents were discussing her.
With this realization came also the understanding of what all this strange new, scary energy was. I knew it was the exchange taking place. The Old me was leaving and the New me was taking her place. It was/is the dissolution of the Ego and I was/am being witness to it.
It scared/scares the shit out of me!
I sent out a plea for help to my Higher Self and the group of guides with her. Again I said, “Help me”.
I wondered aloud, “Am I going to die? Am I going to remember any of this?” along with several other questions I don’t remember now.
I heard in response that this was a death but not one in which I would be “gone” or “lost”. I was told, “You have asked to be witness to this. You will Remember”.
I didn’t/don’t know whether to feel violated or relieved. A part of me felt very violated, and I withdrew from it and did not want to witness it. I asked to go to sleep. “Please. I just want to sleep. I would rather not remember this”.
The Guardians
The sensations in my head were so intense that it caused me to want to retreat from whatever was happening even more. But no matter how I tried, the sensations would not cease and I felt very much like a scared little girl hiding in the corner of her room waiting for the storm to pass.
I was asked to lay on my back. I knew why. It aids the process. I told them, “No. It makes it worse. I don’t want to feel it”. I continued to lay on my side but eventually conceded and rolled onto my back. The sensations decreased significantly.
I was reminded to focus on my heart center and I did. It calmed me down.
I was reminded of the other me, the New me, and the knowledge she gave me back in May. I understood. This was/is not a bad thing. This was/is a good thing. I wondered why she had not presented herself like last time. I heard, “We are merged now” and understood this to mean that the experience was now a joint one.
But the fearful part of me did not want to let go. She was terrified. Thankfully, I was/am able to control her. I remember hearing, “Fear is interfering. You must use what you have learned. Be the observer”. I settled into my heart space.
It was then that I was able to ask the group of 13 (there were 12 plus one guide), “Who are you?”
I heard in response, “We are the Guardians”. There was complete understanding that this process I was going through was necessary. That I was being prepared. I understood who these Guardians were/are. They have been watching over Earth for millions, maybe even billions of years. I asked what their job was, and I saw they were Protectors, keeping watch over the Earth and its inhabitants, inhabitants that have come and gone many times. They only interfere when absolutely necessary. It was time for such interference.
I lost touch with my heart at this time as I began to reject the information I was receiving. The Knowingness was intense and very scary. I did not want to hear it.
I once again said, “I just want to go to sleep”. I looked at the clock. It was 11:30pm.
Domed Lights
I must have fallen asleep or gone in-between because I was then aware of visions of very odd things. I saw what I think is another Earth-like planet. I saw very distinct domes of light settle down over the ground. They were yellowish-white in color and pulsated. I was aware that there was another dome of light and it came towards the one on the ground. The touched and merged, exchanging energy, becoming one.
I awakened from this with an acknowledgment that these two “lights” were somehow linked to the two parts of “me”, though there was also a link to the two parts of “mankind”, as if another piece of mankind was to be reunited with him and once merged they could be whole again. I could be whole again.
I felt back into the in-between and both saw and heard the number 529.
Losing Dreams
The last thing I remember is thinking I should write all this down. The next thing I know I was waking up at 5:30 and could not return to sleep. I heard the Imagine Dragons song again. I tried to recall my dreams, but my mind was a blank. I recall only that I was discussing something in a space filled with golden light. I recall seeing beings that were taller than I and wearing white. I also recall seeing one being that was outlined in a dark shadow and seeing him made me fearful. In this I was reminded of just how powerful fear can be and to be wary of it.
I am not even sure this part was a dream as I was very tired. I wanted to return to sleep but could not. I keep being reminded, “You don’t need sleep”. So frustrating!
Living Life in Between 