Woke around 4am and had a vision of a firefighter holding a baby. I recalled in that instant that I’d seen this vision before, only forgot it. When I saw the vision I felt to be the baby. The sense was I was safe and loved. I wondered what the vision might mean and returned to sleep.
Dream: Take it Slow
I was with a group of people traveling together. I looked at them all and saw a visual of all of us connecting at a spiritual level. This kinda looked like a huge orgy except there was no sex happening, just connection as each one would move from one to another, touch for a moment and move on. It felt right to me – like things should be. I was moving a load of what I think was bottled water when I told the group about my vision and suggested we try it. I got some brief glances from a few but it seemed no one heard me so I let it go.
The scene shifts and I am walking alone in a mall. The coloring of the scene in golden in contrast to the previous scene which was various shades of gray. My feeling is a bit sad and dejected. I feel lonely and long to express what I saw in the vision. I think I vaguely recall an older, female “teacher” there. She had short, 80’s styled blonde hair (think Jane Fonda) and she gave off mother vibes. I don’t remember direct communication from her but understood that she was there to keep me company and listen.
I noticed ahead of me a super, extra long, twin-sized bed display (think double the normal length). The top cover was disturbed and the bed needed to be made. I went up to it and pulled the comforter straight, adjusting it and making it just right. I looked it over and noticed the cover had characters on it and was brightly colored, like something a very young child might have on their bed. I laid down in the center, proud of my accomplishment.
Out of nowhere a man approached. I recognized him (both in the dream and from other dreams). He said, “What you said before…I know you don’t think anyone heard you, but I did.” Then he sat down and held out his hand and said, “I will [connect with you]”. He gently reached over and held my hand and I looked up at him, relieved. I vaguely recall what he looked like here – light hair, long, angled features, wide eyes that were aged with laugh lines. He was plain but pleasant looking. We kissed. Awkwardly at first and then a couple more times.
The dream seems to split into two scenes at this time. In the first, we get tangled up in the newly made bed as we make out. In the other, the older female “teacher” brings us a meal to share. As we make out in the one scene, touching one another similarly to how young, inexperienced couples might, we are presented with the meal and start enjoying the meal together. I don’t remember what we ate, only that as I ate it, I could feel our mutual touching and kissing very physically. As we kissed and touched I heard a voice from within say, “Take it slow.” I understood all at once what this meant and withdrew when the electric touches (when I touched him I felt them, too!) started getting more intense, intense to the point that I knew I may not want to stop.
When we stopped we got up and returned to the group. He reached for my hand and I took it as we joined them. The other members paused, some staring, but all smiling. One girl whispered to another, “Look”. The overall sense from the group was they were pleased.
It honestly felt very much like I was in middle school in that moment. There was such a newness to it, like I had never kissed or touched like that before. The group’s approval was very important to me. There was fear and excitement and anticipation and nervousness and more all at once.
The scene shifts and me and the man are sitting at a table. The teacher woman is preparing to bring us another meal. For some reason the man is at another table. As the food is brought out I am shocked at how much there is. It looked like a huge plate of Chinese food, like sesame chicken. I remember thinking to myself, “That is a lot of food” and knowing the implications of it.
The man asks the woman to help him determine how much of a white substance should be put into a drink. I recognize the white liquid to be alcoholic. The woman tells him to put it away because it was not appropriate. He listens and sets down the jug.
The woman approaches me. I have a soda in my hand and she starts to pour a black liquid into it. A bit too much falls in and she apologizes and says she will get me another drink. I take a sip. Licorice. I tell her it is just fine. I like licorice.
The food is ready and the man and I are set to eat. I begin to feel trepidation at the sight of such a large quantity of food. I know if I start to eat it, I won’t be able to stop.
I wake and a guide is close. We discuss the dream and its meaning.
Interpretation
The firefighter holding the baby is symbolic of protection of innocence. A firefighter symbolizes the need for external help in dealing with overwhelming emotional situations. A baby is innocence, newness, inexperience and naivety.
The beginning of the dreams is reminiscent of something I recall from my past, after the Kundalini and experiencing Union, albeit briefly, with another. I remember thinking, “I want to do this with everyone!” I felt that Union should be experienced by everyone and I wanted to experience it with as many people as I could. In an OBE around that time I was cautioned on being this way by having a white cloth thrown over my naked body.
The mall scene seems to be my internal space where I feel safe. The unmade bed is indecision and lack of progress. That I make the bed indicates a willingness to move forward. The bed covering having childish images is reflection of my inexperience. Similarly, my experiences with the man reflect the newness of the experience for me and the caution I received is to warn me not to go too fast. In the past, when it went fast I got overwhelmed. The Chinese food symbolizes the desire for new experiences and adventure. Alcohol is lowering inhibitions. Licorice symbolizes the joy and the enjoying of simple pleasures in life.
Messages
Yesterday, I had been feeling a bit down. I felt a deadness about life and wished I could once again feel alive. At that time, I passed a sign that said, “Walk-Ins Welcome”. The song playing was Alter Ego. Time slowed and I took note.
When I went to bed I asked to have the message clarified. The above dream and vision was the result. I discussed this with my guide upon waking. He was very close initially and the message I received was that I did not have to live life feeling “dead”. The dream was to show me I can still feel alive, that my desire/fire has not been extinguished. I felt I was being assisted in the regaining of what I felt I lost so many years ago.
I addressed the fears I felt. Fear that when it (connection) happens, I will come on too intensely and scare the other person away. Or, that I might mess things up and lose the connection again like I did in the past when I had the opportunity to experience Union. Fear that it will be so overwhelming I will die (not a logical but a fear I have had since the beginning). Fear the fire will consume me to the point I will lose control and be devoured by it. But above all else, fear of the unknown – not knowing what will happen and that, in the end, I will fail.
Living Life in Between 