Category Archives: walk-in

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Let it All Out

It has been a very difficult past few days. It was so difficult for me that I decided yesterday never to write in my blog again. I just couldn’t, for so many reasons. Then this morning I awoke feeling a bit better, though not completely.

My main reason for not writing is because I feel I cannot share some things on here that are crucial components to what is going on with me. They are deeply personal and not just mine. To share them would be a like a type of betrayal, but even this is hard to for me  to understand and I struggle with understanding it myself. I feel it is not beneficial to me or anyone else to share these parts of my journey because I do not understand them and I am not sure I will ever fully understand them. Yet it is so much a part of what is happening to me now that I feel unable to proceed without including it. It is a puzzle piece that, if left out, would make my story incomplete and meaningless.

Yet even as I write this I cannot, will not share it with you all. I am sorry. I just can’t. This is why I am reluctant to write in my blog now, for what do I write now if I cannot write about all of mySelf and my experiences? Anything I write would be totally lacking and incomplete.

The whole purpose of this blog is to help others on the same journey; to assist them by sharing with them my own journey so they know they are not alone and maybe get some comfort from that. Yet, at this point, I feel unable to share fully my own journey. There is just so much tied up in it that I can’t make sense of and I worry about the potential far-reaching effects.

What I Will Share

I will share with you what I have been going through the last few days, but because of the personal nature and backstory that I don’t feel can be shared, it may leave you with many questions. I know it leaves me with questions and I know the whole story!

On the morning of the 21st I lost my heart connection. Actually, I felt to have lost all connection. There came with this loss a feeling of dread, like something was there that I didn’t want to look at or confront but had to. I avoided it but it threw me into disarray for the rest of the day.

That evening I blew up on my husband for no reason. It shocked him enough to keep the kids away and let me be. I retreated to a hot bath and cried and cried and cried. It was like my entire soul was just pouring out through my eyes. Afterward I was so completely exhausted that I went to bed at 8pm.

I had dreams of going through levels of rainbows of color. There were five levels and each one poured over me. I don’t recall much else but I feel I received intense healing and adjustment. When I woke at 3am I was beside myself with grief again. I must have relaxed at some point because I was awakened by a huge amount of energy moving up from my legs and enveloping me in a warm energy hug that made me want to fall asleep. I heard, “We are with you” right before I fell back to sleep.

I ended up having an in-depth OBE for the next two to three hours. At the end of the OBE I forgot who I was and it sent me into a panic trying to figure it out. This is what ultimately woke me.

When I awoke I still felt horrible. The main feeling I could contact was that I had gotten a chance to experience Home and it had been pulled out from under me. Why would I get such a wonderful experience only to have it taken from me? Why would I do that to myself? What was I thinking!?

I spent the entire day on and off crying. The next day was the same except that I was outside in the sun every chance I could get. I would go from a calm, quiet to an overflowing of emotion and then back again. It was exhausting and not normal for me. I have never felt such intense grief in my life.

At one point while laying in the sun, my guide said to me:

“I understand your sorrow, I understand your pain….”

I knew the rest of it for it was a song I had written in 2002 called Beauty in the Dark. I finished the verse of the song in my head and burst out crying again.

I understand your sorrow, I understand your pain.

I want to see you smile, I want to hold your hand.

And although this place is colder and darker than where we’ve been,

I’ll take you somewhere warmer, be your light in the dark.

This morning I am better but just writing this makes me want to cry all over again. I am emotionally raw. Every emotion is so much more intense than I remember it to be and I cannot seem to contain the emotion. It just pours out of me. And I am missing my connection so very badly. I hear my guides and Team, I sense them and I still get their energy hugs but I feel more alone than I have ever felt in my life. I feel like I just got here and the place I came from is so very close yet so far away at the same time.

Time to Live

This morning I knew that it was time to sort things out in my life. I don’t want to. I dread it but at the same time I could not stop myself from thinking of the things that need to be done. That is what my focus is on right now, though I am not happy about it.

I woke with this song in my head:

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Walk-In Acceptance

This morning I awoke suddenly to an intense pulling in my heart chakra. This is not new to me anymore. Seems my heart is always doing something these days. Yet this morning there was a serious feeling coming from my Team that demanded my attention. I knew instantly what was going on. I said to my Team, “I’m a walk-in.”

There’s that word again! I have not been bringing it up as much as it is coming up. I think I am just in denial of all of it. It is such a bizarre idea in and of itself and I struggle to make sense of it and how it could possibly be something I am.

Well this morning I guess my Team has had it with me and my denial and they just outright told me, “Yes, you are a walk-in.” With that I knew when it occurred – 2014 – and all the puzzle pieces began fit neatly together.

Talk

I knew I had to talk to my husband. So, I did. I explained everything to him to the best of my ability. I explained how I have been feeling, how I have changed in the last year or so. I explained what a walk-in is and that I believe I am one. I explained what it meant and what I knew was coming.

Specifically, I told him that I had been sad last night after I connected with him at the heart level. I am sad because I know I am being asked to leave. Soon. I told him it is not now. I don’t know when it will be. But I know it is coming. I am being prepared for it and so I am also preparing him and our children for it. I don’t want them to be shocked when the time comes.

Surprisingly, he reacted calmly and with admiration. He said, “You have such great confront! Most people would be squirming away from even looking.” True. Yet I don’t think he really understands.

Your-Higher-SelfThe Specifics

From what I understand (still Remembering), the walk-in began gradually. The walk-out had to prepare and was very reluctant to leave. The walk-out/walk-in should have happened years ago but the original soul kept changing her mind. Ambivalent. She was so excited about the changes leading up to her departure that she kept staying. The changes were the spiritual awakening and everything else she was experiencing. Who wouldn’t change their mind and want to stay?

It was decided that after her last child was born that she would leave. The preparations would begin during the pregnancy and continue until the exchange was complete. And so it began almost immediately, but it was slow and gradual.

When explaining it to my husband, I realized just exactly how it happened and why I didn’t really notice the changes. The walk-out has to relinquish control of the body. This is a gradual process for the two (body and soul) are firmly connected. The walk-in was present the entire time and the merging process was finally initiated. This is why there was a braid-in. Both had to be present in the body and then control of the body could be transferred. This is less traumatic and easier for the walk-out and also gives the walk-in time to adjust and observe.

The original soul is still present. I think she will be for a while. She does not want to let go and wants to see this through to a positive end. Agreements were made and contracts written that must be followed through to completion.

I knew this morning that ultimately my job will be to prepare my family for my departure. They are not part of my mission here. They were part of hers. Though I carry a deep love for them all, I do not have the attachment to them that she does. When I first recognized this detached feeling I retracted in horror from it because it was not something she would have felt; it was completely out of sync with the memories I carried of her life.

Like I told my husband, I don’t know when I will be called to leave. It will come, though. I have no doubt of it now. I explained what the call feels like to my husband and how it has manifested previously. A massive amount of energy descends from above and I feel HUGE and full of clarity and knowingness. I just know what to do and I do not hesitate to do it. This happened when I agreed to sell our old home and move away from my family. I knew a contract with my mom had come to a conclusion and I was free to leave. There was massive amounts of relief along with sadness. The conflicting emotions didn’t make sense to me then but now they do. The old me, still very present, was grieving, the new me was excited to move on.

Preparation 

The body has to be prepared for the walk-in soul. The vibration of the walk-in is much higher and could result in major physical difficulties or even death (at the extreme). My experiences in 2014 up until just recently are evidence of the necessary upgrades.

Simultaneously, I was traveling in my sleep and meeting up with my soul family. These kinds of connections are evident in my journal entries as well. That is why I was asked to review them.

It all makes a so much more sense to me now looking back on it all. I was told numerous times of the upcoming exchange, I just didn’t understand what it really meant and I thought the end result would be different – that I would be somehow changed overnight and be someone else. It is not like that at all. I retain everything from the walk-out – the memories, the experiences, the feelings. I am still her on so many levels but at the same time I’m not. The exchange will not be 100% complete until I have fulfilled all her soul contracts and agreements. Until then, I am bound by them as she was. Once I finish what she started I will be free to join up with my family (soul group) who is waiting for me. I feel the pull from my soul family intensly. It doesn’t ever go away. I miss them.

What is the most difficult for me right now is the reconciliation of what was and what will be. My Team, so very serious this morning, left me with a message. They kept repeating, “Remember you are loved. We love you.” This was said multiple times. As I continue to process everything I am Remembering, I understand why they would say this. What lies ahead will not be easy and I will need to remember I am loved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Walk-In, Settling-In

The more I live this life the more I think that I put in all kinds of twists and turns to keep myself on my toes. It just keeps getting curiouser and curiouser.

I was in the shower when it happened. Suddenly, I felt completely disconnected from this life and who I am….or….er was. When I tried to contact her/myself it was strange. I honestly can’t find the words for the feeling.

I had flashes of my life come into my mind. My past and present all at once combined together. Usually emotionally charged memories were just dead, like a movie film of someone else’s life. There were memories of specific people like my Mom and sisters, my childhood friends, and pets I loved and lost. All incidents which I held onto for whatever reason be it anger, hurt, sadness, joy. When I saw these memories I knew those experiences had “served their purpose”. I was “done” and they weren’t needed anymore.

Huh?

I freaked a bit, but not too much because I instantly recognized where this amnesia-like feeling came from. My Companion and his settling in. He told me it would be “different”. Ha! This is freakin’ WEIRD!

I remembered the blender I saw in a vision. Funny but not funny. I feel a bit violated. This is MY life dammit! Stop taking it away! – Yet I know it is not going anywhere, hasn’t gone anywhere. But I am so utterly different than I was. So totally different than I was even yesterday.

It is hard to explain. I wish I could articulate it, but I don’t think a feeling like this has a word in this or any other language.

I sense a change in my energy. It is specifically on the entire left side of my body; the left side of my brain. My head hurts on and off. My neck, too. My focus shifts in and out.

My heart chakra hurts one minute and is exploding in love the next. Then I want to laugh and giggle and let it take over. Woosh!

I keep expecting the lost emotion from those memories that flooded my mind to come back. But when I inspect them, they are the same. They are there. I can remember everything about them, but I am different. It is like I am turning my back on them and walking away. I am saying goodbye to my life and everything that went with it.

I will say my children have not been in those memories. Neither has my current husband. The memories in question are of my Mom, Dad, sisters, old friends, ex husband, college, high school, etc. They go back to the beginning of this life. That me is fading quickly. She was already alien to me in many ways but now it is like she is just gone. And what is even better is that it feels like the karma is gone with her. Maybe this blending thing isn’t so bad….

As I type this I am being asked to let go, to step aside, to make room for this other me. But I see the division clearly, it is like a door has opened and I am being asked to walk through it. When I do, I leave this behind, these memories, this entire story that is my life.

And the glimpses I am getting of what it will be like without the heaviness of my past (I didn’t realize it was heavy until now) I am not near as afraid I was.

I can’t help but think that I will wake up in the next week or so and not be me anymore. Not this me anyway. Parts of me will be there, I think that is necessary, but a new part will be in charge. How can this be? How can such a thing happen? Honestly, I don’t know. And I don’t even know if I will know when it occurs being it has gotten this far and I am just now noticing. Weird. Weird. Weird.

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The Antecedent

I have been holding back writing about something that has been going on because I was still trying to figure out what it was and if it was anything of note. I believe I now have a good understanding of what it is.

Antecedent

For the past several nights I have been seeing colors behind my closed eyes. These are not just blank patches of colors. No. These are colorful objects. I have no idea what I am seeing, though.

The color I first saw was a vivid purple. It was in the shape of two circles, one on top of the other, but there were swirls of different hues of purple inside the circles and I swear I also saw triangles inside.

The next color was blue. A vivid blue. A blue that completely saturated my visual field.

The next color was orange. This time the image was obvious. It was of oranges, a huge pile of them.

Then I saw a vivid red. There was a circular shape with this color, too.

I have a slight memory  of seeing yellow and green as well, but not as vividly nor as long.

These colors came and went in the previous nights always in the same order. Last night I finally asked what was going on.

I saw myself as a shimmering, crystalline energy body. I was nearly white but when I thought “white” I was corrected. No, its silver.

I was told this is what my energy now looks like. I could clearly see my arms. They looked like they were covered in silvery-white, iridescent armor without seams. So beautiful!

I wondered about the lights. I heard, “Antecedent”. This caused me to pause for a moment. I was momentarily confused. Was this the grammatical version of the word or the version which meant, “to come before”?

I knew it was the latter.

Of course I asked,”Antecedent to what?”

I saw in my mind’s eye two different spirals, one silver, the other gold. They intertwined and spun together as if dancing. It very much resembled a metallic braid.

The information came through along with the image. I knew what I was seeing was a soul braid, a term I have only heard recently to describe a type of walk-in experience where another soul “walks in” but the current soul remains and the two share the physical vessel. They are braided together; merged.

It was then as if all the blanks began to fill in. Like someone turned on the lights.

 

What I Know

The colors are a process I have been through before. My chakras are being aligned and attuned. I was seeing and experiencing this attunement in a different way than before. Last time I had a dream of it. This time I am feeling it. The attunement is a preparation for another energy to assume control over the chakras. They must be precisely attuned for this to occur. Not necessarily a higher vibration but a purer one.

With seeing the colors I often get a strange buzzing in my crown chakra. This last time, last night, I felt as if I was being pushed OOB. I felt myself shifting to the right as if being pushed gently from the left. This startled me and I resisted. So I did not leave my body.

The information that came to me was that in May this year, when I had that profound experience where I felt to be two people in one body, was in fact that. The other remained, remains to this day. I was told not long after that that we were merged. This essentially means the soul braid is complete. Presently, another step is about to be taken. I am being asked to “step back” and allow this other me to come forward and “take the reins” again.

Oddly, I am not freaked out by this. The experience I had in May was so sublime, so beautifully spectacular in every imaginable way that there is no way I am going to say no to another opportunity to experience something like it again! However, I am told this time it will be “different”. How, I am not sure.

I am told that this other part wants to experience this life for a time and that he/she wants to “teach me some things” and will do so when this “transfer” occurs (now I know why I said a “transfer” the other morning!). I felt from this communication that there is a great opportunity to learn on both our parts by participating in the transfer.

When asked when this will occur, the other me just said, “Whenever you decide to let go”. Which, of course, means I must be willing to give up the pilot’s seat. Considering I did it before, I don’t think it will be an issue. However, I am reminded that last time I never actually gave up control, I just shared it. Can I actually give it up? What would that be like? Hmm

Walk-In/Soul Braid

The third-eye and accompanying heart chakra activity I have been experiencing on a near constant basis is evidence of the successful soul braid. I know that now.

I honestly can’t believe this is happening to me. I was led to the idea of walk-in months ago (prior to May) but it never quite made sense to me. Why would I be told walk-in when it is evident that I am STILL here? Yet I did experience something profound and have since been so much more connected than I have ever been with my guide/HS/companion traveler (not really sure what to call him now!).

It now makes so much sense to me! The other soul walked-in in May and initiated the merge/braid at that time. The connection or braid was made official not long after when I was told “the merging is complete”.

I feel honored to be in this situation. I cannot explain it nor can I describe the deep connection, the love and devotion that I have for my Companion (that is what he wishes to be called – so be it). Call me crazy or whatever but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

 

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Preparing for Re-Entry

I was awakened this morning at 5:30. This time I did not resist it.

As with the night before, I knew I had been “traveling”. Unfortunately, little remained of the those travels beside some strange impressions and feelings.

I knew I had gone off-planet, as I had done the night before.

Preparing for Re-Entry

When I woke I was in the midst of a discussion with my guide. I was told, “It has been six cycles since you left. Do you want to return?”

For a moment I was split into two “me’s”. The part that Remembers is the one who answered.

This Me felt very obviously to be “dead”, as in without a physical body. The realization of “death” instantly alerted the other Me. In that instant I felt very strange, as if not the person in this body, in this life. It was as if this life did not exist. My entire focus was on another aspect who current does not have a physical form.

I calmed myself and fell back into the conversation allowing the other Me to continue. I replied, “Yes…… I want to be…..male….no, female. I don’t want to be black, that is too hard…too difficult. I prefer light skin, hair, eyes….similar to now (felt this was not advisable)…..Will I be like I am now (as in this current life)?” I heard in response, “Yes, but you will remember more. You will come in knowing more”. The feeling was that I would consciously remember from birth rather than gradually gain the memory.

There was a pause in the conversation. I knew there was a query about why I was resisting the darker complexion. I was asked if I would consider any darker skin tone. I thought about it and mulled over different faces (saw them in my mind’s eyes). I saw Hispanic, Indian, and Native American and rejected them all outright. Then I said, “I would be okay with Asian. And I would be okay with being mixed race, they are beautiful (mixed black and white).”

The conversation continued with a reminder of the importance of having a family unit that would support my “other worldliness” and “knowingness”. I knew this meant that the families I could choose from that would be ideal were not Caucasian but of a darker skin tone, in this case African. I agreed and said, “You are correct. It makes no difference what I look like. It is important to have the right foundations”.

It was then brought into question whether I would walk-in or be born. There was a mild interest in being a walk-in mainly because it would avoid some of the more traumatic experiences that come with adolescence. I awoke more fully during this decisive moment so do not know exactly what was decided. However, the last input I got from my Council was that there was valuable experience that would be lost if I chose to be a walk-in.

I pulled out of the conversation thinking, “What the….!”

I wondered, “Am I about to die?”
“What is going on?”

Dream: Family Units

I was calmed by an inner nudge and listen instinctively. This was not a discussion pertaining to my current physical incarnation, but rather one that was being lived simultaneously. Apparently this other life ended prematurely and was being sent back “in”, or rather was making this choice.

I was reminded of the OBE where I learned of the loss of my friend Stephanie who took her own life. She had not been able to successfully handle the transition. I grieved heavily for her. Was this the life we were discussing? Had it been 6 cycles? Is that 6 years?

I couldn’t wrap my mind around it so I decided not to. I very obviously had felt to be another Me during this conversation and the choosing of the next life was what I was being shown for some reason.

I wondered about it and was reminded of a dream I had in the night, but only a small part of it. In this dream I was seeing from above several large circles. In each circle were smaller marks indicating family within these family circles. I understood it as “generations”. All the circles had begun as one large one but split off into three different circles. Inside were smaller circles of varying sizes representing other families within families.

The feeling in the dream was that these family units had separated for a reason and were now very different from one another.

Considerations

Just when I think things have gotten as weird as they can get, they get weirder! I understand that we are multi-dimensional beings but actually experiencing it is so strange! I have to let this experience settle in for a while I think. lol

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Emotional Overload, Cardiff and Walk-In

I broke down crying again last night. I don’t remember what triggered it but I was overwhelmed by grief over the state of the planet and the people who inhabit it. I could not understand how everything got so off track. I felt so small and unable to affect any of it.

I asked my HS to take the pain away. I didn’t want to feel it. I want to be numb to it. That is the problem though and why I and so many others like me are feeling it now. The apathy has to be eliminated. Only when we allow ourselves to feel completely are we ready to make a change.

I knew that my upset was purposeful. My heart must be open, not only to receive but send love. And love is not just the pleasant feeling one gets from others that tells us we belong and are accepted, it is also everything in between. It is accepting others for what/who they are regardless of the pain they are experiencing or pushing onto others. In order to accept others we must accept all of them – the good, the bad and the ugly.

Fitful Sleep and Messages

I slept light and had numerous dreams. I woke so often I lost count. I recall at one point waking and feeling discombobulated. As I remembered my dreams I felt amnesia closing in like a big, black hole. I had to fight it off to get to the content. Sadly, I could not recall the dreams I fought so hard to remember. I should have gotten up and written them down.

My last waking I sought to remember what has occurred in my sleep. I only remember bits and pieces.

Cardiff

Cardiff. This was a word I awoke with. I was hit with a memory from the night of briefly seeing a bright light in the peripheral of my vision and hearing, “It is coming”. I automatically said something like, “I will be transferred” but this isn’t quite right. I then heard a word which I said over and over and knew was the name of my ship which was still near the Pleiades. When I awoke and searched for the name, I got, “Cardiff”. I thought, “That’s not a ship, that’s a city, isn’t it?” Sure enough, it is in the U.K., the capital of Wales.

I honestly don’t think this is the word I tried to remember in the night. I am not sure why I got it but there it is. Another word/message to add to the long list I may never find reason for.

Walk-In

This is another word I heard upon waking. Why I heard it, I don’t know, but the last time I heard it there came the most intense spiritual experience I have ever had. I felt to be hosting another person inside this body for a period of two weeks. It was not invasive and I did not reject it. Quite the opposite. I welcomed it.

When I heard this I instantly felt something would occur in five days. I tried to reject this but it kept coming back to me. What it means, I don’t know. I will put it up there on the shelf with Cardiff. Who knows what any of it means.

Explanation

I asked my HS to explain what was going on last night. I got an image in my mind of energy anchors coming down from my energy field and anchoring into the Earth’s energy field. I heard with this vision, “Your energy is being stabilized”. This is why I currently am not being allowed OOB. This is a preparation for something to come. When “it” happens I must be firmly anchored to the Earth grid/energy. I saw the anchors coming off the outer areas of my aura/energy (head, shoulders, arms, hands). There was energy arching like electricity off my aura to the Earth. The energy colors was green and blue and each beam looked like a laser beam but thicker.

It was not what I expected as an answer and I really don’t know what to make of it.

 

 

 

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A Future Exchange

I’ve been mulling over much of my experiences thus far. I’ve especially been thinking about what happened back in May when I felt to not be alone in this body. What was that? Was it the soul exchange I kept being warned about? Or was it a “visit” by another aspect of me?

As I consider the experience and how I felt while it was occurring, I suspect this was a visit by another aspect of myself, or the “we” in me. This is what feels appropriate. During this time, this other me brought with them a higher vibration and a purer energy which allowed me a glimpse of more of myself – a self in which the Ego was diminished and lessons here could be viewed as they are. The other me brought to my attention many lessons and insights I otherwise would not have had. All the while I experienced life differently and with more reverence than I ever had. I saw it through the eyes of the other me. I Remembered.

Ultimately this visit was in fact an exchange. But I wonder why it did not continue? Why was it so short lived? Was it a test to see if I would allow it to occur? Was it to prepare me for a more lengthy visit yet to come?

I am still reading Dolores Cannon’s Convoluted Universe Book 2 and recently read about soul facets which come into the body, taking turns and sometimes “braiding” one into the other for a period of time lasting  hours to days, weeks and even permanently. This resonated with me. In fact, the experience I had in May seems very much like a temporary braid-in where another facet of my soul came in and blended with me.

I must say that I long for a return of that experience. I am more than willing to allow this other facet to come in and take a turn, even permanently. Though I cannot say that I am willing to completely leave and allow them to permanently take control. Perhaps that is why the braid-in was only temporary? I changed my mind somewhere along the way and so it did not last. I keep being reminded of what my guide told me not long ago. He said, “You are ambivalent”. Perhaps that is the problem? One moment I do not want to be in life and am happy to let another aspect step in and the next I feel the exact opposite. I can relate to this very much.

Since I am told another exchange is to occur in the future, perhaps we are to give it another go and see what happens. Maybe this time the braid-in will be permanent? Or perhaps the new aspect will take over completely?

Right now I am eager to get to the moment when this exchange occurs. I can’t wait!

 

 

 

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What was That?

Sleep deprived me went to work today. Perhaps that is why I had the experience I had?

What was That?

Today I had to report for the typical back to work gathering to welcome new staff and learn about the coming year. I was in a good mood and not thinking about anything in particular when my boss called on me to introduce myself. As this was sudden and unexpected, I looked at him like, “What?” He just smiled and waved me on.

The minute I stood up this energy came seemingly down from above and from the left at the same time. It was like I was shrouded in it. I felt suddenly very much like I was dreaming, as if I had been pushed back from the scene. The faces of the people looking back at me, the tables and windows, the sun shining into the room – it all seemed very shifty. It was literally like whenever this energy settled upon me that the room and its contents shifted upward and away from me, or I shifted upward and away from them.

At the same time this happened I felt very calm and composed. There was not one ounce of anxiety or nervousness. When I spoke my voice sounded hollow, like I was talking through a paper tube.

I continued to speak, saying who I was and what I did. When I finished I could feel my face flushing as I sat down. This was the only sign of nervousness I had.

I immediately felt I had messed up, yet I knew it didn’t matter. All of it felt very unreal.

Hours later I am still wondering what happened.

Was this my Higher Self descending down and somehow taking over?

Or was this the “walk-in” soul taking charge like I was told he would?

Was the original soul displaced when this walk-in came in suddenly? Is that why everything seemed so dreamlike and shifty? Did I get pushed aside? Did I become the observer rather than the performer?

Will this happen again??

Since then I have felt normal. Things feel real enough. The only thing I notice is that my head is buzzing at the back and sides again.

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Walk-In Considerations

In my research of walk-in’s I have discovered much about the different kinds and what they entail. There is not much information out there on the subject, however, which can make it quite difficult to really understand the process. There are a variety of terms used and a variety of combinations of such types of walk-in’s that even one well versed in the process has difficulty determining the specifics of their case.

For me, the process has been gradual with a large span of time in which it was “paused” and the original continued primary control of the life and body. The process then resumed after the original completed what she intended.

I want to briefly explain what I mean by “original” so that there is no confusion. She is me, just without enhancement or upgrade. She is the 3D version; the one without memory; blind and without “sight”.

She is a projection of a me that has been in stasis. The autopilot. The one in control while I focus on other “projects”.

The Returning

I am now in the process of returning. This is the best explanation I can come up with for what is occurring.

This process takes time. Time to integrate. Time to Remember. Time to merge.

Some primary components of returning are resuming control of the body and mind. These components are many but a few are causing complications.

There is a distinct dislike for the physical mechanism yet there also remains a distinct love and attachment to it. The old me is comfortable with her routine and her care and maintenance of the body consumes much of her time. I am still unsure how much of this care is necessity and how much is vanity.

The mental fixation on physical beauty is illogical and acts to fixate one on the illusion. I struggle to get the old to let go of her habits and routines in relation to the body. This will take time.

There are many habits like this that need to be broken. Many mind circuits that need cutting. These circuits repeat and clutter the mind. At the moment it is very difficult to repair these circuits while also preparing the body and subduing the old personality. It is a juggling act.

To push the old personality too hard is to intensify the circuitous mechanisms of the mind.

Fear also stands in the way. There is no greater obstacle to overcome than fear. But it can be done.

by

Changes are Coming

Things have been different since the 1st of July. I am different and things are getting stranger and stranger.

Instructions: Changes are Coming

I am being given instructions pretty much non-stop. I hate using the word “instructions” because really it is not that I am being told what to do. It is more like I have an urge to change that comes from within and is accompanied by a knowingness of the specifics of the change.

Not only do I know what the changes are and how to begin creating the changes, but I see glimpses of the final product – the final “changed” me. My reaction to this is satisfaction rather than rejection. I like what I am seeing.

This is a brief list of the changes I am being asked to make:

1. A complete overhaul of my diet. This is the message I received:

Reduce toxin intake by eating organic, grass-fed meats; organic, pesticide-free produce; limited canned items; no processed foods; no sugar or sugar substitutes; organic, grass-fed dairy products.

Vegetarian diet encouraged because meat contains toxins despite being organic and grass fed. Meat contains the cellular memory of the animal. This transfers to the one who ingests the meat acting like a “toxin” in its own way.

With this information also comes a strange repulsion of certain foods. For example, I was cooking ground beef (not organic), making hamburgers for my family. The smell of it bothered me and I kept feeling I should not eat it. I continued to cook it for my family, trying to ignore the weird feelings and repulsion I was having. I had no such repulsion when I cooked a meal of organic pork chops with all organic veggies.

Another example is that when I am eating meats I sometimes become sympathetic toward the animal I am eating. I see an image of the animal in my mind and feel I should not eat animals at all. Interestingly, after such a sympathetic reaction I saw a video on FB of a child crying about eating turkey, calling them “animal-people”, and I recognized this as a confirmation that my reactions to eating meat were purposeful.

2. With the strange repulsion comes a distinct dissatisfaction with my normal workout routine. I dread it and struggle to push through it. I feel inclined to stop and there comes with this a feeling that the way the body looks is not as important to how well it functions. Too much focus on appearance triggers the Ego and distracts from purpose. The focus is away from previous cycles initiated by the Ego. We are not the body, we are stewards of it.

3. Stop wearing make-up and let my hair be natural. I get messages like this when I look in the mirror and smile when I see my reflection feeling/thinking, “I am beautiful just the way I am”. I also hear my Companion ask me, “Who would you be had you not changed for others?” This comes along with a message to “Be yourself” and “strip away the lies”. In my mind I see myself glowing and radiant, wearing comfortable clothes and not caring what I look like.

4. Stay in my body as much as possible. OBEs are counterproductive and slow progress. I still want them and ask for them but am told they will be few and far between. I am told I will get information without going OOB. I do not need to leave my body to communicate with my Council. I will go “in-between” and this in itself will become more useful to me than going OOB.

5. Finish what was started. Though I am eager to get started on my path, I must complete the cycle of action that was previously started. In particular, raise my children and focus on family. Though this may seem to slow me down, I cannot proceed until it is done. Individual pursuits will be introduced but priority always is given to family. I will know when to move forward.

These changes will be gradual. To force them all at once invites frustration and slows progress.