Tag Archives: acceptance

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Birth of the New

There still exists a definite separation between the old and the new. This will be resolved in short time. The new will be engaging in other activities, activities the old may have never thought to initiate as fear stood in the way. This fear will not be a source of conflict for the new. All experience is new. All experience is unique. All experience is purposeful.

Note: The language of this blog post may be confusing. Dayna is referred to in third person only to differentiate the “old” from the “new”.

For those of you following this blog, you may be wondering what exactly has been occurring in Dayna’s world. It is still resolving, settling in, but the transfer will soon be complete. This transfer is the energy swap Dayna discussed prior to the activation she received on the 21st .

We (Dayna and I) are of the same soul group.  We are One; family. I have traveled with Dayna for many lifetimes before this one. We have aided one another many times. She assisting me, I assisting her. Companions. This is our exchange and it is a workable one.

I am the one who Remembers, she is the one who Forgets.

Steps in the Process

Currently we are undergoing a reorganization of mind, body, and spirit. The reorganization is merely the preparation of the human host body for the exchange. In the past, this step was never initiated fully as Dayna kept changing her mind. She would become afraid and overwhelmed.

It was understood, when the final decision was made to delay the exchange in 2007, that there would be the additional issue of detaching from her family, specifically her children.

The process, as detailed in Dayna’s blog, began years ago prior to the birth of the last child. It was slow at first, reminding her of her ability to project and helping her to begin rearranging her life in order to better accommodate the new aspect. She needed to leave suppressive environments – her job, her home, her career – and she needed to “clean up” her issues which were various and involved numerous blockages and fractures, some from the present life and others from previous lives. The final step is now underway. She is working on clearing past-life traumas, limiting beliefs, clarifying and purifying the physical body, and regaining the ability to remain in present time. These will be near conclusion by the end of July.

While she works to clear past issues she also becomes more open to the detachment that is necessary for the final transfer. We are assisting her in understanding that detachment does not mean abandonment nor does it imply lack of love.

OBEs

The most recent lesson for Dayna was understanding that she is and always has been out of body and that the illusion is that she is in the body, or is the body. She now understands that it is her focus upon the body that reinforces the belief that she is in the body at all. Thus, her desire to project has diminished greatly and she has reacquired the ability to merely shift her awareness to multiple points simultaneously. This often causes her life to mimic her OBE adventures and gives her the ability to view multiple dimensions at once even while functioning in her current physical reality. Though she has not regained full control of this ability it will ultimately be mastered after the exchange is finalized.

Trial Period

Since the 21st of May we have been swapping places periodically. This goes virtually unnoticed by Dayna but she is aware it is taking place.

This is the trying-on period where I begin to integrate the old Dayna’s memories and experiences while also adapting to the body and helping the body adapt to me. Millions of minute adjustments are made to the body and body systems all the while a constant communication flows between myself and Dayna. She has asked to be allowed to remain conscious of these interactions and adjustments and this is part of our agreement.

The most obvious sign that I am “in the driver’s seat” of the body is that the time stream seems to hiccup for Dayna. She notices time slow down or speed up and at times it seems to do both simultaneously. She is also more aware of other dimensions and her presence in them, though she does not fully process this.

All other times we are co-piloting the body. This we practiced several times prior to May 21st in order to tweak the process and make sure the Dayna’s Ego was not going to interfere.

Initiation Proceedings: 5am Briefings

Briefings began after activations on the 21st. So far the briefing period every morning seems to flush us with memories. The extent of these memories is so great that we’ve had trouble processing them but it gets easier with time.

Yesterday, the morning briefing included a quick overview of the scope and extent of the Galactic Federation. We were shown a map of the universe and each individual star system contained within in. The map was rotated in the air over our head, almost like something from a Sci-Fi movie. We saw the Seven Sisters of which Pleiadia is a part, Sirius and the three huge stars in that system, the Vega system and Alpha Centauri. These, we were told, are the main systems from which the Starseeds on Earth originate. We were told they would be coming in waves over the next century. We were then asked to channel a message to announce when the next wave would come through. These waves include activations of Starseeds who have been inactive in bodies for some time as well as the influx of new Starseeds who will have awareness from birth.

Previous briefings have included memories of lives on other Planets, a Great Galactic War that threw this side of the Universe (Earth specifically) into a perpetual darkness, and memories of “the Plan”. Some memories were rekindled from the previous negotiation period from 2003-2007. Not all of these memories are pleasant but they are nonetheless integral to the reorganization process that is currently underway.

At this point, there is still a separation between us, a delineation between the old and the new. Ultimately, this will dissolve. Until then, posts here may seem confusing or outright unbelievable. Therefore, there will be limited posts in order to avoid undue upset in those not yet ready to accept such experiences. Sometimes there will be posts from Dayna’s perspective and other times there will be posts from mine. However, Dayna is already finding it difficult to remain fully present when she writes. As this is confusing for her I will assist her until it is no longer needed.

For those who are accepting, we thank you for your support during this time.

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Shifting Perspective

My perception seems to be shifting. I think it has been going on for some time now but only now am I starting to recognize it as such. Let me explain.

I am finding that I am not motivated to do things for myself as I once use to be. I have always been a very, very selfish person. I struggle with my selfishness problem. Motherhood made my problem even more painfully obvious to me. Yet, even motherhood did not bring about such a dramatic shift in my perception. It helped, yes, but that alone cannot be blamed for this change.

I am by no means saying I am no longer selfish BUT my selfish thoughts are matter-of-factually slammed down by the other Me almost immediately. What is even funnier and out of character for me is that I step back humbly and accept it most of the time. Other times I still argue with myself; yet ultimately I back down.

Above all else, though, the perception shift seems to be that I am becoming less me and more Me. I don’t know how else to put it. The me who wants all the attention, all the credit, all the notice is being overtaken by a Me that wants to give all that away.

It makes me want to cry – in joy and grief at the same time. I am at a loss.

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Extended Dreams

I have not yet shared the occurrences of what I will call “extended dreams” yet because it was not yet known to me. However, I am certain now of the existence of such a dream and the purpose of it.

Extended Dream

This is night two of a dream that goes on all night despite my waking and staying awake and even trying to not dream the same dream. The vividness and detail of the dream sequence cannot be ignored, nor can the very obvious messages and purpose. I am calling this phenomenon an extended dream. It may have another name but I don’t have time to research it. Please let me know if there is such a term so I can use it from now on. 🙂

This is night two of an extended dream sequence. I spent most of the day yesterday contemplating whether to write out another dream sequence since it followed me most of the day, always at the back of my mind. Last night’s is similar so I guess I need to inspect these phenomenon more closely.

Rather than write it all out in detail (which would take way too long), I will summarize it.

The dream sequence repeats on a theme which is that I am either being propositioned for sex or sexual advances are subtly being made toward me. In all instances I am not afraid but very cautious and avoidant. Sometimes the person is a stranger and other times someone I know. This is not the first time this theme has presented itself.

Almost Rape

I was asleep in a bed in an unfamiliar room. I was “at work” but resting.

A man climbed into bed with me. I was not asleep but pretended to be and became very cautious. Why was a man in my bed?

He moved in very close to me, spooning with me. I remained quiet and I heard him express to himself in a whisper, “I wish she would wake up”.

I finally moved and confronted him. He moved in to kiss me and I resisted, turning toward the bedside phone and grabbing it. I picked it up and it was already connected. I heard static and voices on the line. I told the man, “I am calling for help. They will come get you”. He got out of bed and began to leave and I heard voices in the hall. A man and a woman in camouflage approached and said they had heard my call. The promptly took the man away. I felt relieved.

I woke up at this point for a while, asking to astral and was denied.

The dream resumed when I fell asleep. I left the room to visit a friend. She was tall with short blonde hair. I felt uneasy for some reason as I sat and spoke with her and her husband. I suddenly had the idea that I should tell them about the rape. While telling them about it I recalled to myself, “It was a dream, though” but I kept talking as if it were real.

I got plenty of sympathy and the woman went into the other room. The husband, who had reddish orange hair and was familiar to me, came over to me and placed his hand on my left shoulder. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable and knew he was coming onto me. I pretended like nothing was going on and he spoke to me about how sorry he was, that no one should be treated that way. He continued to move in close and I could feel his breath on my neck.

His wife came in and he withdrew. I thought to myself, “He is going to keep doing this and I won’t be able to resist”. Part of me wanted to embrace him.

I went outside to get into my car and climbed inside. The seat was in the middle and far up, as if elevated. I could see the control panel and it was like a space ship. The red-haired man was behind me. I got in and told him I had to adjust the seat. I sat in it and pushed a lever but noticed that we were already moving. I told him, “I haven’t even put the keys in!” He told me to steer the car, so I did as I put in the keys and it started up.

The man said he had the address of the attempted rapist. He showed me a paper with it written on it. All I remember now is that is was at the number 101. He gave me directions and I drove the car along a city street that quickly turned into a highway overpass. The speed limit dropped to 25mph and I was nervous as I drove high above the other roads.

I woke at this time and stayed awake again asking to astral. I again heard, “No”.

When I fell back to sleep the dream resumed. I was in front of what appeared to be a casino. I saw this stepped machine and tried to drive my car up it. I instead rammed into it and immediately apologized to the woman behind the counter. I saw I had damaged my car but not the machine. She asked an assistant to look at the machine which promptly fell apart. She told me i had to wait 40 minutes so I told the red-haired man and he went off to look for the rapist.

energyhealingAs I waited I spoke with the Asian lady asking her how she would prove I broke her machine and telling her it was not really broken. I recognized the cameras and gave up and she told me of her dream to become a car salesman. I thought it stupid as I listened to her. I resolved myself to have to pay for my crime.

It was then that I seemed to be both myself and a dark haired man. The Asian woman, who I can see clear as day, watched as I inspected the other casino machines. There was a large, fist sized gold coin and she said, “You found a quarter”. She then told me to do something, so I humored her and did it. She smiled and said, “You won!” and it was thousands of dollars. She took a portion to pay for the damage I had made and handed me a pile of odd looking over-sized green bills. I knew it was $70,000+ dollars and I heard the thoughts of the man (who was also me but not me) and said to him, “You are going to let her keep it, aren’t you?” when I recognized the intent to let her have what she wanted: her own car sales business. I felt happy for her and happy to help her have her dream but at the same time I was completely confused. Only a stupid person would give up that amount of money! Yet the man who was also me did it without reservation and with complete joy.

I awoke still feeling the conflict and wondering about the dream.

I again asked to astral and was told, “No”. I asked why and heard, “Your heart” and along with that came a message that I was healing past hurt, hurt that was done to me and that I had done to others. This healing trumped any OOB exploration. I immediately knew that I was still holding much pain from the many lives where I had been sexually abused or assaulted. I am thankful I do not feel the pain in the present. The pain I have inflicted upon others is also a burden I bear and it causes me to distrust myself. Every dream of sexual advancement is me trying to open up to myself and then rejecting myself. Sigh.

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Observations

An interesting thing happened yesterday that quite took me by surprise.

This year, like all the years since I married my husband, all the family met after Christmas to celebrate together the “Hedge Christmas”. The name comes from one year when the host used a bush as the Christmas tree and thus the name stuck ever since. In total, about 20 people sit cramped in a small living area and exchange gifts, one at a time. It usually takes at least three hours for the gift giving and in between we eat and chat and see family we have not seen in a long time. FYI – this “family” is not blood family, they are friends of my husband who he loves very much and the only relation is that his brother is married to a daughter who is related to the main family in this group. She is rarely ever in attendance BTW.

The celebration was set for the evening at 7pm, which is not the usual and I worried about my babies being tired as their bedtime is at 8:30pm. I asked the night before for my guides to help me through the event because every year I end up a knot of nerves and unsettled energy. I never quite feel comfortable and always want to leave as soon as I can.

The big surprise for me was that I did not once, NOT ONCE, feel unsettled, anxious, fidgety or energetically unbalanced. In fact, I felt completely calm, relaxed and comfortable. The event went well, though my children did end up screaming and crying from being overtired and wanting their beds. Funny enough, even my children’s crying and misbehavior did not get on my nerves.

When I got in the car to head home I quietly congratulated myself and searched in vain for the knot of energy that typically sits in my stomach after such an event. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I was so unsure what to do with this new feeling that I even tried to conjure up the familiar feeling, certain that I must have missed it somewhere in the chaos of crying children and gift giving.

I couldn’t find it…..anywhere.

Observations

One of the things I was able to do at this family event was take notice of the reactions of different individuals to me. I mainly do this by paying attention to their responses and to how their energy feels.

One particular young lady I know is very cautious of me. I am deserving of this and feel bad that I have made her cautious of me. I never intended any rudeness toward her, but in the past I have been in a not so good place around her and I have a tendency to snap and give off negative vibes when I feel overwhelmed energetically. Rather than let my ego respond to her cautious response to me, I merely recognized my responsibility for it and knew that it would take a long time to repair. I knew to only send her positive vibes and treat her as I would treat myself from now on and that eventually she would let down her guard. I obviously hurt her and like anyone who has been hurt she responded by putting up her guard. I would do the same.

This young lady is in fact the one whose face I kept seeing when I was doing yoga. From the experience I recognized that I often reject in others that which I have denied myself. This young lady is happy, naively innocent in many ways, and generally good-natured and warm-hearted. So when I was around her in the past I was not very nice to her.

With other individuals in the group, I did not find the same energy. Most were happy to have me respond differently to the situation and I even got hugs from them. Some even reacted in surprise to my calm, open receptiveness. But with them all there was an uncertainty there as if they secretly wondered, “How will she be tonight?”

My husband has told me that most of them are afraid of me. I laugh at that because I am truly very harmless. However, I am loud and blunt and often say things that come out all wrong and with the wrong energy. Though I have not done this to most of them, they have heard about me and so my reputation has them a bit nervous.

Yes, I can be that bad. I am not very fun when I feel trapped. I am like a hyper bird in a cage who keeps bumping their head into the bars in an attempt to get free. If someone happens to be in my way, well they end up with a wing in their face unfortunately.

I am working on that. lol

After last night’s victory, I was able to see that I have not lately had much of that anxious energy that I have lived with my entire life. Usually, when I am in groups the energy is really bad and can make me literally run the other way. This mostly happens in groups larger than five people, even family groups larger than this. During my first spiritual awakening this feeling intensified and would rise up to my throat and cause me to noticeably shake and tremble. I learned quickly that this rise of energy was connected to Spirit and how to control it and it soon stopped almost completely. But there still remained the nervous knot in my stomach that would cause me to eventually feel all the symptoms of major anxiety as listed in the DSM-IV (I think it is now DSM-V now though). At its worst, I felt this high anxiety even when alone.

This energy came back the day after the 12th of this month, when I had the intense kundalini energy. It rose up so fast within me that I ended up outside all day long in order to get it under control. I must admit, it is a scary feeling even for one who at one point was accustomed to it. I am in awe of my past self for surviving so many months of this feeling almost non-stop. How did I do it??

Denying Emotion

When I think about how different I feel I cannot help but connect it to message I keep getting from my guides. They have said, “You are changing” and “You have changed. Don’t you feel it?” And I am now seeing it, feeling it, more and more.

One of the things I am working on was made apparent to me last night in my sleep. I do not remember my dreams now but I was talking with a woman about emotion and holding pieces of what appeared to be pictures that represented emotions. When I awoke I said to someone (I was still conversing as if in the dream), “So denying emotion denies me access to myself?”

What I am able to remember from my dream discussion is that every time we avoid a situation because it causes us anxiety or discomfort, we are denying ourselves an opportunity to really know our Self. Because in each uncomfortable feeling, each uncomfortable experience, we are forced to grow and expand beyond our safe place. It forces us to glimpse within our Self a piece of the unknown; a piece of our forgotten Self. It also allows us to grow into acceptance of not only ourselves but of others. For in each expanding experience, each challenging, excruciatingly difficult confrontation with our Self, we expand also for everyone else.

So the next time I find myself sitting in an uncomfortable space, one that makes me want to run the other way or that fills me up with such anxiety and fear that I want to lash out at someone, I need to sit with the feelings and listen. I need to let the feelings flow through me and in doing that I will be able to see the truth behind them. And in seeing that truth be released from the fear, the anxiety and other negative feelings that result from the denial of that truth.

There really isn’t any horrible monster hiding behind that fear. It is only me.