Tag Archives: ascension

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Aborted OBE and Messages

Upon waking this morning yet again at a very early hour, I called out to my Team to please help me understand all that had been transpiring over the past few days.

This is what I was told:

  • There is currently a “transmission” being received. I am “processing” this transmission.

I actually received this message more than once. There was simply the word “transmission” followed by a visual of the Earth and space implying this transmission was in the form of energy. I connected it immediately to “Wave X”.

  • My role now is to wait and observe; to be patient and open to the changes coming.

I received this message via a song: All We Are by One Republic. Specifically this part of the song:

We won’t say our goodbyes
You know it’s better that way
We won’t break, we won’t die
It’s just a moment of change

Aborted OBE

This morning I asked to either astral project or lucid dream. I was granted the lucid dream option but kept gaining too much lucidity, ultimately exiting my body and being told, “No” and coming right back into it. The message was that I needed to observe what I was being shown while in the lucid dream.

While in the lucid state I was shown a letter written by me from when I was the age of 5. I read the letter aloud in the dream and was astonished by what it said. Though I cannot remember it word for word now, I recall the what it was about. I was recounting contact with my Team when I was 5 years old. In it I was explaining to the reader how this contact was made and how I was to not remember it until a later date.

I came out of this lucid experience quite suddenly from the shock of reading it. I immediately felt the memory of it fade, like it was not really me, yet I knew it was and that it had happened. The conclusion I drew was that I had been “contacted” at that time to prepare me for later periods of similar contact. I had a strange sensation with this memory that part of me rejected. I still do not remember the specifics of the letter but I know how it made me feel.

Empty Plate

As I continued to experience the lucid state I kept seeing a repeating picture of an empty plate. Sometimes it would have the remains of food on it such as chicken bones and pieces of salad. Other times it would be empty except for some crumbs. I came out of these lucid states remembering dreams that I had long forgotten from this week, dreams where I was walking around holding empty plates and not putting food back on them.

Shoes

I had a brief vision of a pair of small, white tennis shoes hung up on a hook. With it came the feeling of preparing to die. It shook me so much that I came back to full awareness questioning the vision. I received no answer except an urge from within to focus on my heart center, which I did automatically. I immediately experienced a wave of calm that radiated out from my core and I no longer cared about the vision I received.

Lost Memory

I had upon waking a memory of another conversation and written message. The memory was of seeing the planet Earth and discussing a technological tool that would help or hinder those who used it. In other words it could be a tool to help if used properly, or a tool of destruction if used improperly.

When I awoke I was mentally calling this tool by a name and I repeated it several times in an attempt to remember it. Unfortunately, all that remains now is a visual of this “tool” and the name and purpose of it is lost to me. I also recall being very excited about this tool and its potential to help mankind.

A Star Will Be Seen

I had a vision of a large and brilliantly white star in the sky. What was peculiar about the star was that it could be seen in broad daylight. Along with the vision I knew it marked the beginning of something. When I later asked if I was going to see it, I felt I would not. When I asked why, I was told it would be over Bermuda. I wonder if it has anything to do with the Bermuda triangle?

Starseed Origins

Finally, I am being asked to remember my Starseed origins and the experiences I had in May.

The specific memory I keep having from May is of an OBE in which I met my Council and a member of my group who had recently taken her life and prematurely left her incarnation. I had touched her face and said, “You are real. You feel real”, as if I was trying to convince myself that she was still very much real to me. Some hours after this OBE I was hit with the most anguish I have ever felt in this life. It felt like a part of me had been ripped out of me and I grieved heavily for about an hour. I was barely able to function. The grief was incapacitating.

As for my Starseed origins, I am receiving the memory of it and then questioning it, always returning to the knowing that it is Truth. Specifically, I keep returning to the fact that I have been in stasis. I Know this is fact and I wonder to myself, “How long have I been in stasis? I remember so many past lives on Earth. Have I been in stasis all this time? Did I get caught up in the reincarnation cycle and forget my true purpose here? Is that why I have so many lives?”

There is along with these memories of who I am a feeling that I am suppose to do something. It is not quite a nagging feeling, but more of a knowing feeling. It is as if a part of me is trying to come out but is waiting for the right time. And all the while I am writing this, I have a warmth spreading out from my heart chakra.

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Drawing Conclusions

So much has happened in the last two days that I am not sure where to start. I intended to write yesterday but kept feeling the time was not right, plus I was too distracted by family goings-on.

My communication with my Team has been high this whole week but has increased in frequency in the last few days. What is different about these communications is that I feel them throughout my Being. It is like an intense feeling radiating from my core and its pretty much non-stop. I also receive an sense that I will be communicated with directly prior to each direct communication. It is like I am getting a heads up that it is coming. Sure enough, upon heading to bed the communications start, continue through the night and into the morning.

My morning “briefings” have resumed to my irritation. My sleep has been so interrupted that I rarely feel rested in the morning, so receiving messages at 5am is not my idea of fun. The messages are strange as well, some I lose almost as soon as I receive them. It is like I am not meant to remember them yet. Others I receive but they are quite strange such as the suggestion I read the Book of Revelation. Just yesterday morning I received the specific message to watch a documentary called The Age of Aquarius. I was told it would answer some of my questions yet I really did not have any specific questions at the time. Not surprising I found a documentary as soon as I Googled it, but there was more to the title than I was given.

I have also been reading Dolores Cannon’s book, The Convoluted Universe. I was not given instructions to read this book, I just felt drawn to it. While reading, I came across some information that caused my heart chakra to pull very suddenly and triggered an intense recognition within me. There is mention in the book about Light Beings whose specific task is to help evolve beings on Earth. This is what triggered my reaction/recognition:

Some [Light Beings] will remain as they are. Others will have the ability to enter many human bodies. One light being will have the ability to enter ten human bodies at one time. And lighten the human body itself, to a progression of thought and spiritual growth that to this point was an impossibility…..This will be a transition made very simply. All that is needed is a desire to grow. Not a walking-in, not a taking over, but a blending, a merging, an adding to, a combining. An element being added that enhances but does not diminish.

I actually had to put the book down and stop reading at this point. It was the next morning that it was suggested I watch the documentary mentioned above.

Conclusions

I have come to some conclusions which I want to share with you:

The information in the Bible came from the same Source as the information which is behind the “ascension” or “shift”. The “God” of the Bible is in fact a creation from communications with humans by otherworldly beings which was necessary for the understanding of the people of this time on Earth.

I first recognized this connection while reading Revelation because I noted that John’s experience/vision was in fact an OBE. I then made the connection of the seals with ascension.

The second time I made this connection was while reading The Convoluted Universe. There was a mention that throughout human history ETs have been visiting Earth trying to help it along. They made themselves known and were viewed as Gods. They passed on information to help mankind advance, eventually choosing less obvious methods of communication (dreams, visions, etc).

The third time I made this connection was while watching the video. Though it is biased toward Christianity, I tried to remain unbiased as I watched. It occurred to me that the New Age movement and Theosophy specifically rang true to me and was not the Anti-Christ as depicted in the film.

You can imagine the questions going through my mind as I began to draw conclusions and make connections. I had difficulty accepting that the God of the bible was simply the way man characterized the many communications they had with ETs. Yet I could not dismiss it. It felt right and I had to throw out my limiting beliefs of God, religion and all I was raised with. Once I did that it made sense to me why I was led down this particular path to understanding. My Team wanted me to see who they are, who I am, and how this applies to what is currently occurring on Earth.

I am still processing all of this as this is just a small sliver of what has come to me over the past few days. I will write more in another post.

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Symptoms of Adjustment

I believe the “bone aches” or “body aches” have begun along with some other strange sensations and symptoms.

Throat Movement

Last night when meditating prior to sleep, I felt a new strange sensation. It felt like something was moving around underneath my skin. Like a ball of energy or a knot of something dense. It rolled around and I kept getting images in my mind of a tiny creature trapped under my skin trying to get out. It occurred at the site of my throat chakra and covered the entire area from my collarbone to my chin.

As soon as I noticed it, I got the heebie-jeebies (that’s what I call them). Basically I cringed. I wanted to move but I had a feeling I needed to focus on the feeling and allow it to run its course. I swallowed and felt no change. My body in that small area was literally moving!

Thankfully, it lasted no more than a few minutes. Had it lasted longer that I would have assumed I was dreaming an episode of Fringe. This is by far the most bizarre of all the manifestations yet!

Body Shaking

As the strange throat movement began to subside, I could feel my physical body literally shaking. It was subtle but enough for me to notice. I thought it strange but remembered I had felt it before, though not as intense. The sensation was similar to being in some kind of car that was idling really, really rough.

Ear Ringing

As I was becoming accustomed to the shaking (it really wasn’t scary, just weird), both of my ears began to ring. It was such a high pitch that I almost didn’t notice it except that it felt like there was pressure building in my ears similar to what one feels when going up in an airplane or deep under water. As soon as I noticed it, it diminished considerably. I believe it was because I sent out a thought saying, “Really? Can I go to sleep now?”

Strange Body Ache

As I tried to get comfortable and sleep, I found it near impossible to stay in one place. When I lay on my back, I had this itch to move along with a very uncomfortable feeling in the right side of my body. It was almost like I had restless leg syndrome just in my entire side.

When I lay on either side it was the same. The only time it seemed bearable was when I lay on my stomach.

Ache is not exactly the right word but it works in this instance. The feeling reminded me of trapped energy that made this area of my body feel achy if I didn’t move it. One time when I made myself stay still, the feeling intensified and then seemed to spread out and then diminish. I think this is why I was finally able to sleep.

Time Hiccup

At one point I “awoke” needing to use the restroom. I looked at the clock and it said 10:35pm. “That can’t be”, I thought. I swear it had been hours and hours. Yet I could not recall even falling asleep! In fact, I don’t know where the heck I had been in that hour since I fell asleep. Wait. Did I even fall asleep? I don’t think so. WTF?

There was a strange feeling accompanying this time hiccup. A feeling that I had been somewhere and done something. Amnesia? That is what it felt like. I knew something had happened but I had only blank space where it should have been in my mind.

The only other time this has happened to me was in 1989.

Interrupted Sleep

I awoke so many times last night, I have lost count. Every time I woke up it felt like I had not even slept. Yet the clock showed it had been a couple of hours since my last waking. I again could not remember what I had been doing in that span of time. I knew I had been asleep, though. At least it wasn’t total amnesia!

Memories

Throughout the day yesterday I had random memories surface from this life. Most of them were memories from this lifetimes. Memories associated with pain and upset, all of which I have inspected many, many times. This, I believe, is part of the purging.

  • Memory of when my best friend in high school began acting strangely and disassociating from me. Specifically when she refused to acknowledge me at lunch and sat with a group two levels below us. I sensed she was doing this purposefully and chose to sit alone. This happened for many weeks at the end of Senior year. At the time I was not “hurt” but went to a “safe place” in my mind, convincing myself that I was happy to be alone. Compartmentalization.
  • Memory of my first year in college during registration. My best friend and I had decided to go to the same college. When I saw her there she pretended she didn’t know me and brushed me off.
  • Memory of what it felt like to be married to my ex. It felt alien – like another person was in my body living that life. Yet I could feel what I felt like then. I felt lost and incomplete. So weird!
  • Recognition that I “removed” myself from emotionally intense situations. I did this by denying there was emotion or even a problem.

Little emotion accompanied these memories. Even when I tried to make the emotion come (such as with the first memory), I could not. I asked specifically to be allowed to view the first memory and what led up to it so I could view other viewpoints and see how others perceived me at that time. I have yet to be shown this (that I know of).

Messages

I asked this morning to project and knew that I couldn’t. The reason why was, “You are adjusting”. I asked how long this would take and was told, “One day”. I didn’t believe it.

I kept seeing notes written to me in my in-between states as I was dozing this morning. I also received messages about my progress: 2 of 5 (2/5), 3 of 5 (3/5) and 2 of 10 (2/10). Not sure what these signify.

I asked if the next activation was coming and was told yes. I asked if it would affect me and was told yes. It is to occur in October.

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Synchronization

This morning this was revealed to me quite suddenly when I responded to a comment on FB:

There is a major purging of karmic debts, past life and current life issues, going on right now. We are being encouraged to let go of old habits and patterns and move into the “new”. To do this we have to be fully present in our bodies and in the moment.

There are multidimensional cross-overs occurring. This happened to me all day yesterday, as if I was/am working on several aspects of myself and synchronizing them. I spent most of the day yesterday doing this and was aware of it happening as time kept hiccuping/slowing down/speeding up and in those moments things were revealed to be let go of.

I spent most of the day yesterday walking around in a strange state of in-between. Life seemed very dream-like for the most part. At times different aspects of my day would be suddenly very clear, as if they were plucked out of my “dream” and presented to me for analysis. When this occurred, it was like time slowed down and I was standing face to face with some detail or consideration for inspection.

Crying Baby

In one instance I was at Target randomly walking around, not really sure why I was there. I heard a very small infant crying and this caught my attention. Time slowed down.

I saw the mother walking with a very new newborn on her shoulder. From that point on, I was tuned to this child and his mother and the moments ticked by very slowly.

As I exited the store the mother was checking out and the baby was wailing louder and most insistently. The mother said, “We are leaving now. It’s okay” and walked out of the store. I followed behind, observing as she threw a baby blanket right over his face and he stopped crying.

I became overly concerned then that the baby would suffocate and I had huge sympathy for the baby. I watched as the mother walked to her car.

I contemplated this for a while. I felt “off” and analyzed why. What was it that was causing this feeling and this obsession with the baby? It was then that my memory was flooded with images of other babies, other lifetimes, other situations. I recognized this was being presented to me for inspection. When I let it go, the concern for the baby vanished and in its place was the thought, “Things like that happen all the time and they shouldn’t. Children are tossed away, put into trashcans, thrown into deep wells, slaughtered in front of their mothers. It doesn’t have to be like this. It won’t always be like this”. It was an understanding that humanity was ready to move past this; to take a stand. That I was ready to take a stand.

Synchronization

As the day progressed, the slowed time continued to occur in blips, each time revealing something for inspection. Communication came in knowingness and understanding. It was/is very surreal.

Later, as I watched T.V., I became suddenly tired, my eyes drooping and my head feeling heavy with energy. I wanted to watch my show, but it seemed I was being told not to. In fact, I got the feeling that I needed to lay down.

I finally conceded and went upstairs to lay down. When I did, I felt strong sensations in my body – physical ones that were unfamiliar and odd. Specifically, my eyes hurt. I wanted to shield them but even this did not help. I also had a strange feeling in my right side that is hard to describe. It was not in a specific place but it made every position I laid in uncomfortable. These sensations were especially noticeable if I laid on my back.

Eventually I must have fallen asleep because I heard distinctly: “Don’t question the question until it has been thoroughly analyzed”. This brought on full awareness and I could not settle back down. All the strange sensations had vanished.

It was only later today that all these events began to make sense. I am putting the pieces of me back together. They have been long scattered over many lifetimes, making the completeness that is me difficult to access in this physical incarnation. Each slowing down of time, each inspection of emotion and thought, each connection made brings back an aspect of the Self that was lost back into the whole. This is the synchronization of the Self. Piece by piece brought into alignment and made whole.

It is this completeness that is the goal.

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Limbic System

While sitting on the sofa watching T.V. I had a sudden strange energetic sensation hit me. With the feeling came an all-over-body calm, as if I had taken pain medication and it had just taken effect.

At first I thought it was a download because it was centered around my head, but the sensation was not the same. This energy was wrapped around my head and shot down my spine, ending approximately halfway down my back between my shoulder blades. My previously sore neck was now relaxed and almost numb in comparison and my head felt expanded though it also had a strange numbness about it. The feeling reminded me of when I had a spinal block – my entire body seemed expansive and floaty.

I sat there in awe of the feeling, assuming I was receiving healing and grateful for it. I have never felt such intense energy in my head. I could specifically feel it in each of the lobes of my brain, specifically more intense in my right lobe than my left.

I enjoyed it for a while and then went back to watching my television show.

Then I was hit with an increase in intensity of the feeling and I sent out a query to my guide. “What’s going on?” I received back a feeling that all was well and to expect more of the same.

Focusing back on my show, which was a very serious (I was watching Fringe), I suddenly began to cry for no reason. There was a sudden sadness and a few tears, but they did not make sense – completely out of place.

I sent another query out, feeling a bit confused. I saw in my mind’s eye an individual standing in front of me and off to my left and felt from them that I needn’t worry.

Then I heard simply, “Limbic System“. I knew this system was related to the brain and I suspected it was linked to emotions. Sure enough, upon researching it I found that it was. Hmmm. This area of my brain has been worked on before (amygdala).

Currently

The energetic sensations are still present and I feel like I am a walking balloon-head at the moment. Thankfully, the feeling is calming and I am having fun pretending that I am merely experiencing some kind of spiritual “high” for the time being. The sensation makes me want to lay down and close my eyes and just drift off into dreamland. Of course, I can’t do that. Sigh.

I have to add that there came with this energy a strange feeling that this was E.T. related. When I asked what was going on, I sensed a being standing near me to my left. I could not see him and just assumed he was one of my guides. Yet, I connected seeing him to stories of alien abductions – I felt that what was happening to me was similar. I then immediately began to reject what was happening. I quickly calmed this part of me down, but it is still quite alarming if I think about it. This part of me feels quite violated for some reason. Why do I need to be “worked on” and to what purpose? Why is “someone” messing with my emotions like this?

It literally feels like I have been hit with some kind of energy beam from above. It is shooting into my head and down through my spine. My body is reacting to it like it would some kind of narcotic drug and my emotions are turning on for no reason.

All I can do is trust that all is okay. These sensations, these energy “bolts” from out of nowhere don’t hurt me or cause me to get worse. They seem to make me better and better and better. It really is quite surreal. Like something from a SciFi movie.

I feel like saying, “Beam me up, Scottie”.

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Redefining Reality

Like clockwork I am visited in the evenings before bed by my Companion. His presence and intent is made known via an intense pulling sensation in my third-eye. If I send out a mental query, I receive nothing in return. Yet if I direct my focus to my heart center, I received the communication. It is from this center that I receive his messages and accompanying comfort and calm.

I am unaccustomed to this new method of communication and struggle with it greatly. I want, no it seems I need, to translate the messages I receive into thoughts and words. Writing posts in this blog adds to this difficulty in translating what it is that I have received. In our original form we do not speak in words or even thoughts like what would be expected by us in the physical form. We speak in feelings which translate into a deep knowingness that is not limited to words/language.

My understanding is that I am to recover that which I have lost in the transfer into this human form. This includes, among many other abilities, the ability to know without the need to rationalize or analyze through the use of thoughts and language.

Yet at the same time I am still urged to share this process of transformation, of awaking to my True Self, with others. To do so means language must be used to translate all that is occurring. This is an intricate process because to use language incurs the use of the human mind and thus awakens the Ego to the process. It seems a catch-22 but I am assured it can be done.

Control of Thought

One lesson I am learning is how to control the random thoughts that are rising up out of my subconscious. They bombard me especially as I attempt to fall to sleep. Images such as a messy room strewn with torn paper and a pair of broken glasses and a counter top covered in spilled milk. The second these images appear there is an accompanying reaction of rejection and anxiety. It fills up my entire chest region and pulls me to wakefulness. I think of my youngest who has been into mischief these last few weeks – climbing up onto the kitchen counter or getting into things he should not. He has been known to toss dishes on the floor and break eye glasses (two pair now) among other things.

Image after image came into my mind last night and each time I awoke to a strong anxiety and upset. I pleaded to my Companion to help me. Why is this happening?

I was instructed to become the Observer and to note what was occurring each time one of these thoughts came into my mind. It did not take me long to recognize the pattern – visual appears followed by immediate rejection and welling up of anxiety.

It was then explained to me that these random images were the result of a purging of my third chakra and heart centers. There is a need to control my environment attached to a belief that if I can keep it under control then it cannot control me. The key to dissolving the images was to change my reaction to them. Acceptance is the key. Allow the experience to occur. Inspect the negative reaction. Allow it to teach me what it has to teach.

All experience has a lesson for us. To reject the experience is to reject the lesson. To reject the lesson means it will repeat until it is learned.

I appealed to my Companion, “But I react instantly and seem not to be able to control it”.

The response was that to control automatic reactions one must disengage and become the observer. And one must not be discouraged along the way for this is a habit that has been a lifetime in the making and will take time to reverse.

Discouraged, I felt suddenly very overwhelmed and wanted to quit.

I was then reminded that I must celebrate even the “smallest” of achievements.

Seeing Things as they Are

Still struggling to fall asleep, I was brought to awareness by a simple statement: “You will see things as they are rather than how you want them to be.”

I thought of it but could not stay focused and managed to fall asleep (finally!).

New Patterns in the Making

I overslept by 40 minutes this morning. My alarm did not go off and my husband and daughter forgot to wake me. As I rushed to get ready for work, my tired mind was interrupted periodically by the calming thoughts of my Companion. Each comment was in response to a thought of my own.

“I’m going to be late” was redirected with, “Let it go” and a feeling of calm and a knowing that it was not a big deal.

“I am going to miss my first appointment” was redirected with, “I can change my schedule”.

As I drove, I encountered a dreamy feeling and my vision was hazy. I briefly worried I would get into an accident and I was reminded that my thoughts create my reality and to control them. I no longer thought of “what-ifs” and drove faster than my normal cautious speed.

I arrived to work on time and noticed the sun in its brilliance as it rose. I heard my Companion say to me, “Celebrate! It’s a new day!” and I was filled with wonder and joy, as if this day was my first day of life.

And so far, it has been a good day.

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Semi-Lucid Dream: Heart Expansion

I awoke around 5:30am and asked to astral project. I fell back to sleep quickly.

I gradually began to gain lucidity. I was in a shallow, rocky pool with others like myself. We were spread out and discussing the healing processes we had each been through. I felt comfortable but at the same time was not sure who these people were or where I was.

There was an older gentleman near me who I had been working closely with. He was very familiar to me. He had blonde hair, or maybe it was white, but had deep furrows in his brow and laugh lines around his eyes and mouth. I assumed him to be about 20 years older than me.

We were talking about the healing sessions but I can’t recall it in detail now. I felt drawn to the man and so moved in closer to him as we talked. There was a moment when I felt a decision was made to proceed to the next “step” in the process. I remember looking at the water and seeing that we were sitting inside a rocky, clear stream. The boulders were dark and smooth and the water shallow but deep enough to cover our legs as we sat in it. I fiddled with several red bricks that were at my feet and looked out of place. I said, “The bricks moved” as I tried to put them back in place.

The man said something to me and I turned and looked at him. His eyes were smiling even though he wasn’t. I made the “decision” then and fell into his arms. It seemed as if I melted into him and at that moment I didn’t care about my life or the consequences of this decision I made. All I knew is that I would give up everything I had to be right here, right now – forever.

As I held onto him I was approached by a little girl. She had dark, curly hair and was very timid-like. A woman was behind her and I felt she was her guide/caretaker. The little girl touched my knee and spoke to me.

“Quiero la verdad”, she said to me softly. But I heard her also say, “Tengo la verdad” at exactly the same time.

Confused, I caught only the word, “verdad” and knew immediately the translation.

“Truth”, I said aloud. “She said, ‘Truth'”.

I then looked behind her at the woman guardian and felt we needed to invite the little girl to/into us.

Heart Connection

The sensation of the connection I had just made woke me up and I lay there in total bliss as the energy of my heart chakra expanded. I felt the presence of my Companion close and knew something was up, but didn’t care. This indescribable feeling was all I cared about. I also knew the little girl who spoke Spanish was me and that she brought with her “truth”.

I tried to figure out what the feeling I felt was. I had been, still was, willing to give up everything for the feeling. It was similar to intense sexual attraction without the sexual part. It was like I had found my other half and there was no way I was about to let it go. (As I type this my heart is expanding again and the feeling makes me want to cry with joy)

My Companion said to me, “We are One”, and as I worried the feeling would leave he said, “It is always there. It will always be there”.

The feeling intensified and I caught myself holding my breath.

“It is beautiful”, I said to him. And it was/IS.

I recognized then that some of my other chakras were sporadically pulling and filling with the blissful energy as well. I felt my second chakra and my third eye the most intensely, but my root chakra also pulled. As I focused on them, I heard my Companion comment on the thoughts I had. My second chakra is nearly cleared and soon there will be a full alignment and the energy will pour in from the top and the bottom. I could only imagine how that would feel. His comment to that was, “Soon”.

I didn’t wan to move or leave. I said to him, “I don’t want this to stop – ever”.

I was instructed to relax and let go, so I did. An image then came to me of a shelf with hay, similar to the nesting boxes of chickens. I saw myself selecting eggs, but these were no ordinary eggs. They were huge, like ostrich eggs, and each was a vibrant color. I saw blue first and reached for it and held it in my hands. It was larger than my hand! I then became fully lucid and said, “They are the chakras!” as I saw a yellow one, an orange one, and a purple one. I looked for the red one and when I saw it the image vanished and I saw myself surrounded by a circle which was clear on the inside but outlined in solid red.

I woke up fully then, still feeling the amazing sensation expanding from my heart center. I rolled over and our conversation continued, but I don’t recall it all now. I was instructed to lay on my back, so I did. I also recall being told to not resume smoking (I quit my one-cigarette a night a week ago today).

The next part will be in my next entry for this one is too long already.

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Strange Exposed Feeling Brings a Message

I’ve been meaning to mention a strange feeling I’ve been getting for some time now, but for some reason I keep forgetting. Today, though, it reappeared and I vowed to mention it before I once again forgot.

The feeling is a curious one and I think it goes hand in hand with the feeling of “living a dream” that I’ve been also having. For this entire week when I go out in public I feel naked and exposed. I freak out because I swear I forgot to put on clothing. I have to actually look down at my body to make sure I’m not naked!

The feeling of it is identical to similar dream experiences I’ve had. One minute I am fine and going about my day when suddenly I notice someone looking at me strangely or some other aspect of my surroundings stands out to me. Then, it is like time stands still and I suddenly feel naked. Right then and there I have to look down at my clothes or I focus on the feel of my clothes to make sure I am not naked.

It is so weird!!

Today, when it happened, it did not cause much concern – I am getting use to it. Yet later, when I was sitting in front of the T.V. the memory of it came back to me suddenly along with the notion that life IS a dream and this sudden exposed feeling is meant to remind me of that.

But why?

That is when the thought entered my mind both as a question and a statement – “I am resisting/Why are you resisting?”

I was thrown into present time instantly and a strange feeling accompanied it; the feeling of being in the presence of my Council. For some reason when communicating with them I feel like a little child who has done something wrong. I was overwhelmed with a sudden mild panic.

After a few deep breathes, I calmed down. “Resisting? Resisting what?”, I wondered to myself and to them at the same time.

I began to remember the times in my OBEs when I resisted. It always ended the same: me back in my body prematurely, having to start all over again. Only when I did not resist and followed where the experience led did my OBEs last and reveal whatever they were suppose to.

It appears I am being told to “go with the flow” and allow life to show me my path.

But it is so, so slow compared to an OBE.

And everything still feels really, really weird. It has been like this all week!

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More Physical Manifestations of the Shift

With all the changes in energy and their effects upon me, I figure I should post the current manifestations I am having. If you are experiencing similar, please let me know. There is an intense building of energy right now that is creating these intense reactions and I believe this will culminate in the next Starseed activation period. According to my Council, the next Activation will occur with the full moon in the month of October. This does not align with what others are saying about the September full moon but I believe my Council over the predictions I have seen all over the net.

Physical Manifestations of the Shift

  • Anxiety
  • Dizziness
  • Increased heart rate
  • tingling sensations
  • heart chakra energy sensations/pulling
  • third eye energy sensations/pulling
  • root and second chakra energy sensations/pulling
  • spontaneous K rising up to lower heart chakra
  • energy helmet when doing yoga or meditating
  • vision changes – feels like I’ve entered a “dream”
  • sudden calm and/or feelings of joy
  • increase thirst
  • increase and then decrease in hunger
  • sleep disturbances – can’t fall asleep, toss and turn, strange dreams
  • feeling of being “done” with life
  • random thoughts that do not fit and are negative or fearful
  • difficulty controlling random thoughts
  • daydreaming – gazing at clouds or sky or staring into space
  • feeling of being shifted to this time/space from somewhere else
  • moments of intense clarity/knowingness
  • sensitive to loud noises

For me, the current changes are beginning to increase in intensity, especially the random thoughts that pop into my head. These thoughts are along the lines of fears and worries that are seeping out through my subconscious into my consciousness. For example, as I tried to sleep last night, my thoughts immediately went to my middle son and I had horrid images of him being molested and tortured by a man. I tried to push the images out of my mind and heard my Companion ask me if I could accept the possibility of that occurring (this was not that it would but that I need to accept that things like that happen all the time on Earth and it could happen to me). I completely rejected it and said, “I would shoot whoever it was in the head if they tried to hurt my child!” I fought back other images of similar torturous things that are done to innocents as well as a huge lump of grief and despair. I realized in this, though, that I did not have images of my daughter come into my mind, or any female children. With this came the understanding that such things have happened along my time track to my sons and others’ sons over and over and will need to be cleared in order to make this life more productive and end a long cycle.

There are other less intense random thoughts coming in, but I cannot remember them now. I believe the key here is to look at them objectively in order to recognize the lesson they come to teach. These are issues that are rising up to be released and the only way to release them is to take a look at them and allow them to teach you what it is they have to teach.

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De-Compartmentalize

It all started a few days ago. The clouds here in Texas were extraordinary, making the sky seem so vast and beautiful. I kept finding myself gazing up into as I was driving, willing myself to be in it instead of here on the ground. It was like this for four days straight and each time I could not take my eyes off the sky.

Then there came another phenomena along with this fixation of mine on the sky. I began to get ideas of being above the Earth and then placing a miniature version of myself into the globe. It was like I was a giant and shrunk a part of myself down and placed her in this environment. With this idea came the thought, “I put myself here to experience this” and I felt so tiny yet so big all at the same time.

That evening, I awoke knowing I had been working through the night. With this knowing came odd little tidbits of information that disappeared as soon as I tried to focus upon them. Later that day, I suddenly recalled with great knowingness what had been discussed. I knew without doubt that I had separated from myself, disconnecting from all memory of Who I Am, to be placed on Earth and have this experience. This was more than just a normal knowing, it was a sensation of Being. I recalled the feeling of the moment of this disconnect and had the knowing that I could undo it anytime I chose.

Yet again, yesterday, I found myself fixated on the clouds and recalled the idea of being shrunken and placed into Earth. As I rounded the corner and prepared to enter the highway to head home, I began suddenly aware of my thoughts, thoughts that had been going on without much notice by me. I had been thinking of my night’s work and discussions and knew that I was entering into a new phase as I merged onto the highway.

Almost as soon as I was on the highway I felt my right arm tingle as if a hand were placed upon it. Then, looking up at the clouds, I began to notice a dream-like quality to my experience and my vision shifted. I was unconcerned as I drove, though, having full faith in my Team of guides.

It was then that an energy began to form on the left side of my head. It expanded and remained as I drove. Then my heart center began to buzz with energy. This is when the song, “Come Home” was playing and I began to get tears in my eyes. I felt suddenly very sad as if my time here was drawing to an end.

When I got into the garage I lingered in my car in the dark as the song played. I took off my sunglasses but kept reaching to remove them time and time again because my vision was dark and tunnel-like and I swear I felt the pressure of the glasses over my ears and against my temples. Things seemed very dream-like and I kept thinking of the visual I had of seeing myself put down into a tiny Earth. How surreal!

Compartmentalize and De-compartmentalize

Last night was yet another night of restless sleep. I awoke often and then struggled to return to sleep.

One of my early wakings was accompanied by one word in my mind: Compartmentalize. I wondered about it and knew it was related to the rewiring that was currently underway. I acknowledged it and then went back to sleep.

At one point when I awoke, my Companion was close and said, “We are in this together”. Imagine waking, not remembering your dreams and suddenly hearing this. What would you think? I got a bit concerned. Why would he say that to me unless things were about to get difficult?

I then thought of the word compartmentalize again and knew without knowing how that my Companion was referring to this process, but why? He said to me, “You are different. Do you feel it?”

I answered, “Yes, I do, but I am not sure how”.

Then he said to me, “We are in this together. Remember that. This is why we are here.”

I wondered what he meant and he replied, “Your thoughts will change. Your focus will shift. This process will be different”.

There came with these words a memory of the random thoughts that had been entering my mind lately. They come and I struggle to shut them down, when in that past it was easy. I knew this was an example of what he meant by this new “process”. I wondered if I would go crazy, but felt this was extreme and unlikely.

Considering all of it, I asked if it was like what occurred in May and he said, “No. We are integrating”.

I finally got out of bed after tossing and turning for another hour. As I woke up, I thought again of the word compartmentalize but knew I had it wrong. It was the opposite. I was de-compartmentalizing. We were taking down walls.

Here is more information on what compartmentalization is if you are interested.

What This Means

Honestly, I am unsure what exactly all this means but I feel I was being prepared for it over the last few nights. The energy has been intense and shifty – one minute calm and the next minute very turbulent. Thankfully my reactions have been bearable thus far. The panic that comes from the sudden onset of dizziness is controllable and does not last long. I have a fear of leaving my body at inopportune times and the dizzy spells trigger this fear. It really does feel like I am shifting OOB when I have these sudden shifts in perspective and am overwhelmed with dizziness. My vision threatens to blackout and I can feel myself leaving my body. Not fun when you are driving!! Who wouldn’t have a panic attack?

I suspect this is why my Companion told me, “We are in this together”. He wants me to remember this is the plan and to trust in the process. As I type this, though, I feel my heart rate increasing and my heart center is buzzing. I do not like the idea of not being in control of when I leave my body!

I am likely freaking out a bit and overreacting. Honestly, it is likely just simply that my thought processes will slowly be altered from their norm. This is much more acceptable. However, one must conclude that any change in brain activity has a direct effect on consciousness.