Tag Archives: ascension

by

Health Issues and Feeling “Done”

Still in a funk. Energy-wise I feel tired and unmotivated. Still having some panic/anxiety and heart related issues, also.

Last weekend I went to the gym without incident. On the drive home, upon just seeing the string of cars stopped at a light ahead, I thought, “This is where I always have a panic attack.” Within seconds my heart began to race and the panic attack was on full-force. As soon as I got through the light (which seemed to take eons) I was fine.

Almost every time I get in my car now I have anxiety. Ugh.

So I am being triggered now because of all the past incidents. Sigh. But at least I know these incidents are not all related to low blood sugar.

My heart still does weird things when exercising outside of the gym. The other day I went for a run outside and less than a half mile in my heart began to pound and panic set in. Then, a few days ago, I was exercising at home quite strenuously and my chest actually hurt, though I had no other symptoms. But it concerned me.

It is hard to tell what are real, physical symptoms or panic attack symptoms. Panic attack symptoms are so real every time. Though I am use to them, I always end up thinking I may be dying at some point. It’s hard not to.

Fast forward to last night. Watching t.v. on my laptop in bed and very relaxed I became suddenly aware of my heart seeming to flip flop and flutter in my chest for a good 10-20 seconds. I checked my pulse and it seemed fine. I recognized it because with every one of my pregnancies I had these flutters and “skipped beats” in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters. Always normal for pregnancy but now, well, probably not normal.

Then this morning I experienced a sensation of my heart skipping beats while lying on my right side. This is the most common experience I have and I am use to it. It never lasts very long. But I am reminded of the difficulty breathing I experienced both during and after my most recent OBE. Is that somehow related?

Add this strange arrhythmia to the above panic attacks and gym episodes and it has me quite sure I have inherited my family’s tendency toward heart-related illness (on both sides). My dad’s side of the family carries a history of heart attack, heart valve problems and congenital heart defects. Both my dad and his brother died young (early 50s) from heart related problems. My mom’s side has stroke, high blood pressure and heart failure, mostly in old age. Sadly, my sister had to have open heart surgery when she was younger than I am now to replace a faulty heart valve that was congenital but never discovered until it nearly took her life. She now has to take medication for the rest of her life. My mom suffers from major arrhythmia to the point of losing consciousness and is on medication and has been since her 50s. I witnessed her pass out from it once and was with her through the whole heart-monitor-wearing ordeal that followed.

The heart fluctuations are weekly for me right now but I’ve been having these occurrences for years, though very intermittently and never at such a high rate as now. Nor have I ever had any chest pain before. It is daily now, though nothing sharp or scary. My heart chakra just hurts, like burning in my chest, most of the time.

I have not disregarded the part ascension and Kundalini play in this and suspect the stress put on my physical body from these energies is aggravating underlying issues that may not have been noticeable otherwise. I am super sensitive to energy fluctuations and notice every single change in my physical body from the norm.

So my plan is? Do nothing. Yep. I actually told my husband, “If I pass out or something, don’t call 9-1-1.” Then I said, “It is DNR for me, too. If I happen to get in a car accident or something, I don’t want them to waste their time resuscitating me.” This has always been my position anyway, but I wanted him to remind him so that if something does happen he doesn’t interfere.

I know, quite dramatic, but I have had messages along the way on this spiritual path of mine that refer to my having “limited time” here. Yes, it could be just the soul exchange or maybe it could be really the end of my life (well in both cases I guess it would be). With the Ego death stuff going on as well, it could just be adding to the drama of it all.

Other Considerations

Along with these health related issues I have been feeling, yet again, “done” with life. This feeling was very strong in 2014-2015 and then the Kundalini came along and brought “new life” into me for a short time. Since the Kundalini has gone mostly quiet this year, the last major event in December, 2016, my view on this energy has shifted. The Kundalini and the events that coincided have been the most traumatic experience of this lifetime. I am exhausted. Still. The “loss” has just been too much. I am certain now that I will not be able to overcome it, at least not without major life change and I do not have the energy or desire to travel that road. It seems a daunting path for sure. I feel like a 100 year old facing a mountain without any climbing gear. Insurmountable.

In previous life reviews I never regretted one choice or event, even those that seemed awful at the time. Yet now, when I looked back, I regret choosing the path of the Kundalini. Yes, it can be magnificent but what it left behind was a rubble field of destruction. It exacerbated my lifetime Homesickness making this life that much more difficult to bear. Normal life bores the hell out of me now. I need more and more “excitement” to even want to be here. “Excitement” being those things of a spiritual nature and along the lines of what the Kundalini awoke in me. Those things of an earthly nature that I use to enjoy, just don’t bring me joy anymore. My daily life, though not torturous and really very good for a “normal” life, feels so empty and shallow in comparison to where I’ve been. When I look at my life I think, “This isn’t me. I’m not this person.”

Maybe this is all “normal” for what I’ve been through, and no, I don’t feel suicidal or like I am going to lose my mind and do something crazy. I just feel “done”, like my life and who I am as a person in this lifetime is complete.

Despite everything, I am planning on going to South Padre with my family and extended family this weekend. Maybe some time at the beach will do me some good.

 

 

by

Embracing the Goddess Within

This full moon energy is ridiculously intense. I have been feeling it for a week and I suspect I will continue to feel it all month. My heart is most affected by it, though. So much so that at times it feels almost painful. Just when I think my heart has opened as much as is possible it blasts open more. I am beginning to think there is no end to the depths of it.

Dream: Pregnant with Twins

I remember speaking to a dietitian about the past week and my diet, how I had been feeling and what I needed to do to resolve it. The talk was not something I wanted. It made me feel as if I were in trouble. The main thing I remember from it was that the dietitian said, “You’ve been really high on energy haven’t you? When you get like that you need to slow down and rest. Take a break. Your body needs you to.” There was also discussion about low blood sugar, my heart and how I have not been eating enough food for the activity I’m doing.

When I left I ended up in a restaurant (emotional nourishment/support) somewhere in Europe with people I did not recognize. I sat down and a woman came to my table and sat in a chair across from me. She was Asian and very pregnant (aspect of self that is maturing). In fact, her stomach was so huge that it looked unnatural. Another woman sitting nearby looked at me and said, “She’s pregnant with twins.” I turned to the Asian woman and smiled. The Asian woman motioned to her tummy and said, “Just another week or so now and it will all be over.” She was smiling and looking lovingly at her stomach. In my mind I saw a calendar and saw the remainder of this week, the entire next week and a few days of the following week. I realized this must be her due date. I was impressed that the woman had carried a set of twins to term. I said, “You’re doing a great job! Just remember to let yourself rest after they’re born. Let someone else care for them and sleep. You’ll need it.”

balance-heart-chakra

Heart Expansion

Something about the dream and the pregnant woman triggered me into full lucidity. I began to cry and woke up. My heart chakra was enormous, spreading the length of my torso and also up into my throat chakra. The pregnant woman in the dream was what was on my mind. It felt like she was me. Lately I’ve been having tons of dreams about pregnancy and/or twins but I have not been posting them. Usually the twins are still babies and one is male and the other is female.

My heart was overflowing. It reminded me of when I was in Tennessee at my friend Yvonne’s house. I had woken one morning and had so much love I didn’t know what to do with it. I had burst into tears and hugged my friend, something I rarely do when I cry. I said to her, “I feel so much love. I don’t know what to do with all of it.” I Knew then that there would be a meeting soon and this heart opening was preparing me for it.

The tears didn’t last long because I realized something else. My guidance was saying to me, “You are love.” It took a while for the message to get through and when it did I said it to myself – I am love.  I recognized the vastness of the love I was feeling was a reflection of me. I was both recognizing and experiencing myself. It felt that soon that love would engulf me completely and I would be devoured by it. I did not feel fear, though. I felt anticipation. The strongest feeling at that moment was the absolute longing. I have never wanted anything more in my entire life. Nothing.

I’ve felt it before. I thought at the time that I was missing someone but I had never missed anyone like this. It was almost painful, causing physical reactions I had never experienced before. And here it was again. So intense that I felt at a loss as to how to manage it. But in recognizing I was feeling myself, my Divine Self, whole and complete, there was relief. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could – would – have what it was I was longing for. And when it happened, my heart would be even larger, expanding to every single chakra of this physical body. I couldn’t be afraid of the feelings that came with it. I had to accept them, feel them, embrace them as me because to reject them was to reject myself.

Vision

The more I allowed this indescribable feeling of Divine love, the more relaxed and calm I became. Eventually I drifted into the in-between. Not long after I saw a scene reminiscent of a popular daytime soap opera. In fact, when I saw the scene I thought, “Days of Our Lives”. There was a man at the front of my vision who I recalled from the show. He had dark hair and was facing me and for some reason I thought of him as a doctor, though I don’t remember if he is one or not on the show since I stopped watching it sometime back in the 1990’s. Not long after I recognized all of this, I saw a message in the upper left-hand portion of my vision. Written in white were the words, “Three more days.”

Songs

I woke up as soon as I saw the message. It is always funny how fast they wake me up. As soon as I saw the message and read it the message seemed to echo in my mind and when I woke up I was saying to myself, “Three more days.” It is like I plan it this way so that I remember the messages. It never ceases to amaze me how this process works. I am always surprised. Every time.

Then as I was recovering from the shock of the message that seemed to infer that in three days my life would become a soap opera (ha! I can only guess to what degree) I began to hear the songs.

The first and most prominent song was this one. The part in bold was what was emphasized:

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent 
And we can learn to love again
It’s in the stars
It’s been written in the scars on our hearts
We’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

The second song was one that came along with other syncs yesterday. I won’t go into detail here but the part of the song that was going over and over in my mind both yesterday and today so far is, “Just call me, if you need a friend. Call me. Call me.”

Nurturing Self – Embracing the Goddess Within

At some point this morning I had a conversation with my guidance about becoming the Goddess. There was discussion about being a nurturer and embracing this aspect of myself. This means nurturing not only others but myself. I have not been nurturing myself, though. If anything, I have been neglecting myself.

Part of embracing the Goddess within is embracing and openly expressing emotion. The Goddess is the healer of the world because they are capable of awakening the greatest force within themselves: love. The Divine Goddess can awaken love in others and there is no greater force of healing energy than love. But, in order to heal and awaken others they must be completely awakened to love themselves. It appears that is what I am doing – awakening to my own love so that I can share it with others and fulfill my role as Goddess.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by

Dream Message: Repopulating Earth

Super intense dream this morning.

Prior to bed I was asked, “Are you ready to begin?” At the time my heart was so huge that the energy of it covered my entire chest and the top of my abdomen (3rd and part of 2nd chakra). Vastly huge beyond anything I’ve ever felt! When I was asked this question I stopped breathing, holding my breath, and replied, “Yes.” The heart energy remained for a long time and other chakras began to buzz – third-eye and root specifically. I briefly wondered if the Kundalini was about to ignite in a frenzy, but it never did.

I couldn’t sleep and tossed and turned for some time. The last thing I heard before falling asleep was, “Remember.” When I hear that it usually means I am about to Remember something about who I am, something purposeful.

Dream: Repopulating Earth

This particular dream was set in a very brightly lit room. I only recall golden light permeating everything and white walls with some hints of furnishings that made the space feel homey and comfortable. Standing in front of me was my partner. I cannot recall how he looked except that he was golden and bright like the room we were in. He was taller than me by about a foot and I considered him to be my “husband”.

As I began to come into more lucidity I recognized I had no past or future. My memory was all a blank. It was a peculiar feeling and one I was totally at ease with. Of particular interest to me was that my future was blank. Not only that, but my instructions were to not do anything to prepare for my future. This information was from the telepathic conversation I was having with my partner.

This is where there is information overload so I will summarize what I can. I was very aware that we, he and I both, were awaiting our “time”. There was to be an “exchange” of the population of Earth in waves. In the dream this exchange was recalled as something that came in the air/atmosphere, similar to a undetectable, poisonous gas. Only those participating in the wave would be affected. I was being told not to prepare for my future because I would not have one. I would be in the next wave along with others who volunteered to be a part of the “re-population” of Earth.

I was then informed that I had a choice of the timing of the wave I would leave on. In my mind I saw a drop down menu like one would find on an application. The drop down menu was of years. I saw 2015, 2016, 2017 and so on and so forth all the way into the late 2020’s. I remember lingering over the years 2016 and 2017. I was drawn to 2016 but then selected 2017 as my choice. We then discussed my selection and I saw a calendar in my mind.

I was asked if I wanted to know when it would be our time. I could still see the calendar and it was zoomed in on a frame of two weeks. I don’t remember the month but it felt to be very soon. I thought about the question and said, “No, I think not.” I then explained that to know when my time would be would only cause anticipation on my part and perhaps even nervousness or fear. I remember saying it could cause me to live my life very irresponsibly and I may make decisions I would not normally make. I used the example of eating, saying some may resort to gluttony if they knew they had little time left.

I remember asking him what everyone is suppose to do while they wait. I asked, “If we aren’t to make any plans, what are we to do in the meanwhile? Should we even do our work?” There was discussion here that long-term plans would do me no good. We discussed work specifically, as in career plans. I understood that looking for a job was pointless.

There was also discussion about “all the others”. I remember asking if everyone in each of the waves would leave. I was told some would not. I then saw that those who refused to leave would continue in their lives as if nothing were happening, yet they would be affected. I saw unrest and mental turmoil to include upset and/or insanity. The example I got specifically was Mexico and how “hard working” the people were so much so that many would insist they keep working, toiling away, continuing to provide labor and products to the U.S.

I recall saying to my partner at one point, “I don’t want to be male.” It appeared I was selecting the gender of the body I would occupy. There was a sense that a female body would be more conducive to the exchange than a male one.

Then I was shown the “waves” from above Earth, as if I was positioned on a craft in space. The waves were invisible except where they impacted Earth. It looked like the Earth was being scanned. A large bubble of energy arced out where the wave impacted the surface and atmosphere. It took a while for it to make one pass. When it completed, the wave would begin again, slowly “scanning” the globe from left (West) to right (East).

It appeared that the waves were being sent by an alien race from a location in space. The information reminded me of what I had read in Delores Cannon’s books where an E.T. race came down and collected groups of humans to save them from a mass extinction event.

I continued to speak with my partner all along feeling very at ease and comfortable with the topic of discussion. We spoke about the Beings who were assisting Earth. I referred to them as our “parents”. We talked about building a new “Home” and while we spoke I was drawing a picture full of right triangles on top of right triangles. When I drew I knew I was drawing a house but it looked nothing like the physical structure. Instead it was similar to drawing geometric figures. It looked similar to this without the two circles:

vp3sacredroots2&3&5

I specifically drew a large, vertical rectangle. Then I divided it into two equal squares, upper and lower. Then I divided those squares diagonally to make two equal right triangles. I even drew in the little box in each right angle. I drew the triangles in the bottom square as well. Then I drew a long diagonal line across the entire rectangle. This completed picture was our new Home.

Realizations and More Dreams

When I woke up I was very aware that I had been crying, yet I could not recall when and there was no physical evidence of tears. I also felt worried about what I remembered. Was Earth about to experience a mass “extermination”? Was I agreeing to be one of the ones exterminated? This is how the dream message felt initially upon waking but I soon recognized this assumption was inaccurate.

Eventually I realized that the “waves” I sensed in the dream are the waves of ascension. The exchange, which was viewed as a type of “death” in the dream, is a soul exchange. I and others have volunteered to participate in “repopulating” the Earth with “new souls” (soul exchange). It is not that we are physically dying, but that we are walking into bodies primed for the exchange and in doing so will repopulate planet Earth and assist in creating a new energetic signature that will shift the planet as a whole into another “dimension” (not the right word but I am at a loss).

Those that refused the exchange (not ready or choosing not to) would remain and experience a very unpleasant and tumultuous time on Earth.

I want to be clear here, though, that I did not see those in the waves “leaving” Earth. I saw us remaining here alongside the others who opted out. Yet at the same time it very much felt like the population as a whole would eventually be eliminated and a new population would be implanted.

Weird, I know, and strangely I am at peace with it all despite how very real the dream felt.

I somehow fell back to sleep. I entered into the in-between and saw an E.T. wearing a very thick, bulky suit. He was vastly taller than the human reporter who was standing in front of him. Maybe two or three feet taller than her. She reached out her hand and from the center of a the suit a small, pale, pinkish-white hand reached out. It had very long fingers and was quite creepy looking, like spider hands. The woman reached out and shook hands with this E.T.

Then I dreamed of preparing for a dental visit where I would get a “thorough cleaning” that would be “uncomfortable”. I was told “not to eat for an entire day before the procedure”. This is not the first time I’ve received a message like this in a dream.

by

Dream: Chosen

Prior to bed, a song from long ago popped into my mind. I only heard these two lines, “I wonder where you are and I wonder what you do……I love you.” It wouldn’t go away and I thought it strange that it would just pop into my head.

Early in the night I had a very in-depth dream I wish to recount. It woke me up abruptly at 3:30am and I was not able to return to sleep because of it.

Dream: Chosen

The first thing I remember is being “called” by a man who resembled Mel Gibson. The energy from him was magnetic and attractive but at the same time I recognized that I feared him somewhat. Fear may not be the right word, though. Perhaps a better word would be revered?

He took me from where I had been in dreamtime (which I can’t recall) to where he was, standing next to a large, two storied white house reminiscent of the 1920’s or maybe older. It was old looking with peeling paint but was in good condition overall. The man was standing on the road in front of it. I knew he wanted me to go on a journey with him to a city. In my mind I thought of a small town nearby where I grew up. When I recognized where he wanted me to go, I became a little nervous.

He spoke to me, saying I was chosen by him because of who I was. I was unique somehow and the feeling was that he was asking me to do something very important for humanity. He told me that I was to be with him. His exact wording is lost to me now but the feeling was that we were to be married, as in joined together as one but literally rather than symbolically. He told me he knew about all my flaws and the drawbacks of my personality when I mentioned my unworthiness. He said, “I accept them all, as I accept all of you.” Still, I felt unworthy and kept my distance from him. The energy from him was familiar and beautiful, but I felt undeserving.

He took me across the road to a tunnel I could see right through. On the other side was a man with a shovel. He was digging in red dirt. The man I was with told me that before we could be One I needed to assist the man who was digging. I did not question this. For some reason I knew that helping this man was also helping myself.

Then the man who looked like Mel Gibson said to me, “Are you ready to do this?” When he asked me this I saw a toilet bowl and knew he was referring to more purging. I told him, “Yes.” There was a complete Knowing that this purging was regarding my feelings of unworthiness.

I know we talked in-depth about what it was I needed to do. Part of the purging has to do with my relationship with my mother and healing the “mother wound“.  To effectively purge all the emotion and pain connected to the mother wound I need to be triggered. In other words, a catalyst is needed. I also understood that the pain associated with this wound is part of a core wound that needs to be resolved. If I do not do this, then the “marriage” into Oneness cannot happen.

When I woke up I could still feel the connection I had with the man in my dream. I also had the song from before in my head. I knew what I needed to do and the urge to do it was so powerful that it inhibited sleep. Even though I knew I would go OOB and was being encouraged to calm my mind, I just couldn’t.

The song on my mind was this one:

Upon waking I also knew that the reason the man in my dream looked so much like Mel Gibson was because he was asking me to be brave – as in Braveheart. Even though the nervous feeling in my dream was not very strong, I recognize the dream as a warning. I have agreed to continued purging in order to remove the last vestiges of the False Self. This next stage is going to be rough.

by

Changes, Projects and Ideas

The energy since May 31st has been distinct. My third-eye has been active for pretty much this entire time. Sometimes it is like I am wearing a headlamp. It feels like a beam of energy is shooting directly through the back of my head and out my forehead. Pretty cool but then distracting all the same.

My sleep has also been interrupted. Usually every two to three hours. Each time I wake I feel like I have slept all night and am always surprised when I discover so little time has really passed. Dreams are vivid as well with an in-flow of guide communication and Knowing.

Yesterday and today I’ve had a feeling that I need to do something but nothing quite feels right so I end up doing very little. A download is in progress yet this one is distinctly different from downloads of the past. It feels as if I am awaiting instruction or a go-ahead on a future direction/path.

Meanwhile I’ve begun changing my diet and exercise routine. It is not a major change for me. More of a tweaking here and there. In one of my dreams I was shown how food affects the energetic body. I saw the food as color streaming into the energy body and noticed how the aura reacted to it. The greener and more alive the food, the more alive it made the energy body. The more “dead” the food, the more it deadened the energy body. I recall seeing meats affects on the energy body most vividly. It went in as a dull, almost brownish red and tended to draw energy away from the energy body, “dulling” it.

What I brought back from dreamtime was that I needed to shift my diet to a more vegetable based one. Yes, again I got that message. I think my guidance thought if they gave me a visual of the energy it would cause me to make drastic changes to my diet. So far, I haven’t. My main issue is finding reliable sources of protein that also taste good. In my dreams last night it seems I was being told to look into pea protein because I had a bowl of green peas I was eating. lol Yet I can’t imagine eating pea protein in place of a filet of fish or a turkey burger. For now I have returned to eating clean, limiting my carbs to complex ones only (oatmeal, sweet potato, brown rice, sprouted grains) and increasing my intake of vegetables. Meat will remain in my diet but sparingly to include only lean, organic meats (excluding pork). Salmon will not be on this menu and really I will avoid most fish and shellfish because of the toxins they contain.

I am told these changes, while helpful, “will not do.” Ha! Well, then.

Physically, I am changing the amount and type of exercise I do. I became quite lethargic during all the emotional purging and really slacked off. Plus, anxiety and panic attacks were driving me away from the gym. Still not sure if I am going to go back to the gym. I tried one day and though I survived without incident I did not enjoy it. Something about the gym energy is really wreaking havoc on me. Probably I am just too open and susceptible to others’ energy while in the midst of exercise.

Spiritually I am being drawn toward astrology for some reason. I have always been interested in astrology but ever since the beginning of May I have been reading every astrology blog and article I can find. I want to know how they know what they know. lol So I am going to get some lessons from a friend so that I can know what they know and not feel like such an astrological numskull.

I am also being led to do more YouTube videos. I recently discovered Movie Maker. I had it all along on my computer but had never activated it (duh). Currently I am working on creating videos for each of my meditations. I have received comments from individuals saying they could not upload the audio files I have available for free on my blog. So, now they should have no problem with incompatible formats or whatever message they were receiving. It will take me a while to complete all of the meditations but they will be posted as I complete them. You can access them via the meditation link in the upper, left-hand corner of my blog’s home page.

I aspire to eventually create lessons or teaching videos. This would mean learning to add slides to my videos and/or actually streaming live classes which I later upload to YouTube for those who missed the live stream. I have the ability to do this and some know-how but I am somewhat blank on the topics to teach or discuss in the videos. A friend has invited me to be a facilitator and do live streams twice a month. I have agreed to sign on when the website is complete. The site is called C.S. ONE-CyberCOM and I will be participating in the The Conscious Community InterNetWork.’ I will provide more information on the dates and times of the live streams when they are available.

So, I need some practice prior to beginning these live streams. Suggestions are welcome.

I do have one idea that was brought to my attention recently by one of my blog community. I have been asked to make a custom pendulum. I’m super excited about it not only because I enjoy making them but because it gives me an excuse to visit the crystal and gem shop nearby. My daughter wants to make one with me. She is my collaborator. lol Anyway, my idea is to film the making of the pendulum as a how-to video for those who would like to make their own. Yeah, big project with a large amount of editing. Not sure how I will do it the way I want to but the idea makes me happy so I will explore it and see what comes of it.

I may also do another video showing how to use a pendulum for chakra clearing and balancing.

Really, there is no limit to what we can create and accomplish and I plan to explore those things that bring me joy. Teaching is one of those things, especially teaching subjects I love (the metaphysical, occult, spiritual, psychological – and everything therein). When I stand in front of a crowd as a facilitator I feel empowered. I get goosebumps and psychic chills. I literally SHINE. It is where I belong.

Rose Quartz Pendulum

Rose Quartz Pendulum with Rose Quartz, Clear Quartz and Cork beads

Carnelian Pendulum

Carnelian Pendulum with Carnelian, Clear Quartz and Citrine beads

by

Entering Another Section of the Equinox Portal: Clearing the Human Genetic Line

Whew! I feel I have made it to the “other side” of the hellish purging. Finally, some relief is to be had. However, I was given a glimpse in my dreams of what to expect in the coming weeks of June. June, in fact, is one hell of a month for those of us nearing the final stages of the embodiment journey. We are not done yet. Not by a long-shot!

If you do not follow my other blog, check out the video I posted yesterday for more information on what was happening over the last two weeks and what to expect in the first two weeks of June.

Dream Revelations

I spent all night walking in the shoes of my ancestors. I went back hundreds of years, visiting family members as far back as the 1600’s (maybe even further back than that). In the dream I was in a cemetery unearthing their graves, busting through the casings that covered the earth they were buried under, and reading their names and dates of life-death as I received information on their individual histories.

As I met one they would join me as I met with another. In the end I had a crowd of ancestors, all female, at my side. It was made clear that our combined history was much more than DNA, much more than blood, much more than these bodies we occupy incarnation after incarnation.

There is faint memory of an energy coursing through me as I experienced this. I am certain it was Kundalini energy, muted by lack of lucidity and the result of a request I made months ago to lessen my awareness of it. Even as I try to recall it, the memory seems to run away from me, hiding. I am okay with it as I understand it is necessary that I not get caught up in the crazy energy and my near-obsession with it.

Clearing Two “Genetic” Lines

When I awoke I recalled much more than just the dreams. In fact, the dreams themselves and the specifics of them were mostly tossed in recognition and understanding of the bigger picture they represented.

Our ancestral line consists of two branches: biological/genetic organism and spiritual Being. Though it may seem that we as spiritual beings would select a specific human genetic line to reincarnate in over and over, this is not the case. We often purposefully avoid staying within the same human genetic line. Some will reincarnate within the same family multiple times, but it is more likely that we will reincarnate within the same geographic area than within the same genetic line.

However, in contrast, we will reincarnate with our spiritual family almost exclusively. It is very rare that we experience close ties in our incarnations with someone who is not part of this family, extended or otherwise. Yes, we are all “related” but we have specific soul groups we associate with. I am told this association is along the lines of vibration and experience level. These others are our “family” and their vibration/experience is analogous to the “blood” ties we have with out human genetic family.

Currently, as we continue to peel away the layers of the False Self, we are exploring and clearing both the human genetic line of our current physical body as well as the spiritual one.

Symbiosis

When we come into a physical body we negotiate a symbiotic relationship with it – the mutually beneficial kind. Believe it or not, the human genetic organism is a Being within itself, one with its own experiences and purpose separate from our own. It is very simplistic compared to us but nonetheless it is to be respected as any living organism on planet Earth.

In memories of relating to various bodies over lifetimes, I viewed the bodies I occupied much like I view a beloved pet. I loved each of them. I cared for them, their well-being, their health. I wanted to be with them and did not want them to die. I had a strong attachment to them. To experience the death of my body was like experiencing the death of part of myself. This is the very definition of a symbiotic relationship.

You may not believe this or maybe have never considered it. I was the same until I was shown/Remembered it. I have memory of negotiating with the body I currently inhabit. I approached it when it was still in the uterus, around the six month developmental mark. I was not alone, either. My Companion was with me, helping me and instructing me on how to go about connecting with this body. I recall having to be very gentle with it. I asked permission to be with it, though it was without words. It was more of an energetic exchange where I “touched” it and let it feel me out. It decided if we were to live together in this life, not me. I am grateful for its acceptance.

The relationship is symbiotic in that neither of us could survive without the other. The body needs a spiritual Being to survive. Without one it would come into the world and die quite quickly. The body without the spiritual Being is like an newborn infant. It only has instinct and its body is not developed enough to go about living on its own. Yes, the parents could feed it and provide for it, but without a Spiritual Being to pilot it, it would be devoid of a personality, awareness of self, and the many other attributes that make a human a human. It would, in essence, be a vegetable, maintaining infancy well into adulthood.

The same goes for us as the spiritual Beings who inhabit the body. We cannot experience the physical without a physical body. We offer the physical body continued care and maintenance. It offers us a lifetime of experience in the physical.

dna

Clearing the Human Genetic Line

In June we will be clearing the human genetic line, the line of our current physical body all the way back to its origin point. That’s a lot of clearing. This is the realm of cellular memory. The lives we will review and clear have not, for the most part, been lived by us. As we clear these past human lives, and the memory of them contained in the cells of the body, we are working on a cellular level which includes the genetic level (DNA). The process results in a clean slate on which to build and restructure the human biological being we currently inhabit. Without this clearing the physical form would not be able to handle the immense amount of Light it will be holding in the near future.

The clearing of the human genetic line can easily be confused as clearing the “Collective”. It is not exactly that, but it fits in with this idea because the genetic line is extensive and branches out the farther from the origin point one gets.

So ultimately we are doing twice the clearing – our Spiritual line (our past lives to include multidimentional aspects) and the human genetic line of the physical body we occupy in this incarnation.

Why clear the human genetic line? That cellular memory, well it’s not always helpful. In fact, it usually is the opposite of helpful. If somewhere early in the genetic line there was a strong experience that led to death, that experience remains in cellular memory. These memories can be triggered by similar events and manifest in the present body. Not fun and very confusing for the Spiritual Being who inhabits the body. An example would be if the somewhere way back on the genetic line an ancestor died from drowning. Later on anxiety or other ailments could result when even a tiny part of that memory is triggered. The genetic organism wants to survive so it holds onto any experience that threatens its survival. So the memories are usually not pleasant, full of fear, and highly instinctive.

How will we experience this clearing? Don’t worry, if you have gotten this far you have done most of the work already, most of it without knowing. Some physical manifestations could present themselves but really there is nothing you need to do except be aware that this kind of clearing is occurring. Tuning into your Self and being aware and heart-centered will allow you to avoid being the effect of any unfortunate triggers that may arise.

Oh, and by the way, the spiritual clearing we have been doing, it continues right alongside the clearing of the genetic line. The work continues. More purging is to be expected.

by

Dream or Reality?

I experienced another purging episode last night around 6pm. It was another bad one. I would recover briefly only to be overcome by it again. It seemed to come in waves and though I pleaded with my guidance for it to stop, it didn’t. Eventually, in my quest to stop the overwhelming emotion, a thought came to me that I should do some yoga. With the thought my third eye, throat and heart lit up with energy.

I went directly upstairs and did some yoga for about a half hour. In the beginning the emotion came on strong but by the end it was gone and I felt normal albeit exhausted. My heart was on fire most of the time as it was also when hit with the emotion. The only way to describe the feeling is to say my heart is aching – literally.

In recalling how I felt last night a memory surfaced of a similar feeling I once had way back in May, 2015. It was preceded by an amazing OBE where I met up with my Council and family in Spirit. The afternoon after this OBE, however, I was nearly debilitated by a surge of emotion and grief. It hit my heart center and felt exactly like the ache in my heart I felt last night. The grief felt on this day in 2015 was for the loss of a family member in Spirit, a close family member and one who I loved dearly. She had killed herself, exiting her life prematurely, and the after-effects were felt by each of us like a ripple effect through us all. It was such a strange experience back then for me to feel such overwhelming love for a woman I never knew in the physical. And then to have it knock me to my knees to the point of non-functionality was a surprise indeed!

Being that how I have been feeling for – jeez months now? – is nearly identical to how I felt in May, 2015, it has me wondering some things. Am I grieving my family in Spirit? Is the grief coming from my resistance to a “call” to join them? Or is it just grief for being separated from them? And if it is either of those, what does it even mean? Will I be feeling like this until I answer the “call” and reunite with them? How the hell am I suppose to live like this? It is like a living death when the pain and grief hits me and so far it has been a nightly/daily occurrence.

Dream or Reality?

This morning a strange thing happened. I had awakened with absolutely no memory of dreams or experiences in dreamtime. I was just laying there dozing when I suddenly recalled something I had done. The memory was of being in a room with at least a half dozen men. They were standing in line at the foot of a bed I was laying on. My job was to have sex with each of them, one by one. I remember doing this happily and allowing them to treat me as a sex object. I even remember some of what they said and what I said, all of very degrading. They had no shame and neither did I. In fact, I felt completely at ease in my role, as if it was an accepted part of the life I chose. There was absolutely no rejection of any part of it.

When I recognized the memory it was real to me. I knew I had done this. In fact, it felt like I had been doing it my entire life. Confused and shocked by the memory and how at-ease I was at who I was and what I did, I went into a mild panic searching for answers to this strange and very real memory. Was it a dream? Yeah, it had to be a dream! I am not that woman. I am not a prostitute.

Somehow I settled down, convinced it must have been an OBE or dream I had somehow forgotten. Within moments I recalled another incident. Again, very real. So much so that I had no doubt I was the person in the memory because I felt what she felt and recalled details no dream would offer. In the memory I was with my lover in the midst of love making. The feelings of love were amazing. I have not felt such love with a partner in this lifetime. It was like pure connection – body, mind, spirit. I remember his blue shirt and the bedroom, the tiny twin sized bed, the large window, the curtains all lace with tiny purple flowers, the carpeting. Everything. I remember recognizing that I felt absolutely no shame or guilt in being with him despite being married to another man. I remember him, too, though all I recall now is his smell, the feel of his arms around me and his dark hair.

The moment I had this memory I “woke up” and my vision was filled with hypnagogic imagery. Tiny, honey bees in a geometric pattern that moved from the center outward. There was a sudden shot to my heart coming from the left and a strange vibrating sensation in my entire upper body that emanated from my heart. The feeling in my heart surprised me and a shock of adrenaline coursed through me.

Yet I had not been asleep, had I? Where had I been? Was I in a trance? I don’t remember sleeping. I remember being awake. The memory of being with the man in blue was there but it had happened. I was certain it was real…wasn’t it?

Super confused I lay there contemplating it. What were these memories? Alternate timelines? Lives I lived simultaneously with this one? Projections? Other people’s memories? WTF?! lol

I must have drifted into the in-between because the next thing I recall is feeling someone, a man, touch my forehead right where my third eye is located. He said, “BE” when he touched it. Then he touched my chin and said, “LIVE”. I could see him smiling. He was shiny. Golden. He had a mischievous look in his eyes, too. What he said sounded like “Be-lieve” but at the same time it was also “BE” and “LIVE”.

I came back to myself when I felt a lightening bolt of energy shoot into my heart space from the left. Again I felt the vibrations and saw hypnagogic imagery. Again there was a rush of adrenaline.  I felt a distinct rush of fear, but of what? It didn’t make sense.

I thought, “That’s it. I am getting out of bed.” lol

This song has been in my mind for two days now:

 

 

 

by

Messages: Protection and the Diamond Light Codes

Feeling less upset this morning and more calm. I had another emotional purging last night, though. It reminds me of last November and December and how at the end of the day or whenever I found myself alone I would encounter intense emotion and it would just pour out of me. The whole process of letting it out is deeply exhausting. It feels like my insides are weeping and my body cannot contain them so they pour out of me. My entire body lurches. It’s like I am vomiting the emotion and the after effects are no different.

My sleep was undisturbed and deep last night. When I awoke I was given messages and I had clarity once again. It is like a calmness descends over me and I understand everything so clearly. There is no upset at what I am going through and no desire to escape it either. It is so odd yet at this moment I see it as a completely normal and expected part of my transformation process.

Dream: Renovating a Mansion

I had bought a new house/mansion (my greatest potential) and my realtor (guide) was showing it to me. It was enormous, much bigger than anything I could afford or would even think suited me. As we walked inside I was blown away by the beauty and majesty of the place. What was most noticeable was the dark, mahogany wood trim and accents. My realtor was advising me on the renovations (new outlook/perspective). He suggested I replace the wood with a white stone tile. I’m not sure what kind it was but when I saw it in my mind it appeared silvery white, seamless and modern. The lighting was also to be changed to silvery chandeliers. I remember not liking the idea of replacing the stone accents and wood. I asked if it was necessary to even renovate. I recall him suggesting it but saying it was my choice.

Then we went outside to survey the property I now owned. A portion of the fence (barriers) had been torn down along with a foot bridge (connection or opportunity lost). The previous owners had done this. There was also a large dog (untrustworthy) watching us. It was huge, like wolf sized and pure grey. I thought I saw a mask over its eyes like a raccoon (deceit) and felt I needed to stay away. I hurried into the house and closed the door before it came in. It was obviously friendly but for some reason I was wary. The realtor said it belonged to the previous owners and was left behind. The last thing I recall of the dream is that my hair was super long (thinking long and carefully before making a decision), all the way past my knees.

Dream: Stuck in the Dark

Short dream of being beside a large body of water with a group of friends. The water (emotion) was being drained via a huge central drain, similar to a pool drain (need to remove obstacles) but larger. Somehow one of the group got sucked down and stuck in the drain. There was discussion on how to get him out. I mainly recall everything being black (unknown, death) because I became the one stuck in the drain. But I was also the one trying to help free the stuck person. From above I was sending down a light to illuminate the darkness. From within I was waiting in the darkness, unable to see and worried I would drown. Somehow I found an air bubble and survived, though. The light was sent down the drain and I saw it descending toward me. It looked like the flame of a candle. Then I was being released from the dark depths but I don’t remember making it to the surface. Instead I found myself on the surface watching a man as he loosened the dirt (attempt to hide something) around the edges of the water causing it to cave in. His intention was to trap the other me under the water. I was able to stop the man and ran across the land mass near the water. When I looked down I saw I was standing on a dirt colored map (life path) of the world, specifically the middle east – Israel (spiritual unrest). Half of the map had crumbled into the water, though (feeling lost, without direction).

Messages

I drifted in and out of the in-between. During this time I recall receiving a message in pieces. First I heard, “The four directions” and then “protection”. I also heard something about a “5th direction”. I was responding to my guidance as a different version of myself, one with great Knowing and understanding of what I have been going through. I can’t recall my specific remarks but the understanding remains even now.

The end of this section of the Equinox Portal is nearing. This section, like the others, has been working on rectifying the False Self. For me this has been experienced via the arising of my “inner demons”, those aspects of self that perpetuate confusion, self-destruction and self-loathing. They reveal themselves via mental circuitry, or repetitive/circular thought patterns, that are triggered via specific life experiences. Ultimately, when observed they reveal limiting and destructive beliefs from this and previous incarnations.

I was reminded not to allow myself to become defeated by this circuitry but to allow and observe it. When experienced it will feel as if it has overtaken me. I will be drawn into the emotion in a very real and tangible way and past memories and incidents will be revealed. The key is to pay attention to what is revealed through it.

Easier said than done.

These moments of emotion are so dark, so agonizing, that I feel they will kill me. They evoke a feeling of powerlessness that is terrifying. It is as if I am experiencing that moment just prior to death when one knows what is coming – death – but can do nothing to stop it. Is this the Ego struggling against its own death? Or is it something else? I am not exactly sure but I have faint memories, memories that seem to run away when I touch upon them, that cause me to question if any of the experience is even mine. It is like I am flushing out an old, useless version of myself. A self that is already dead but whose tendencies and memories remain. It’s such a weird, surreal feeling yet at the same time it feels completely natural.

The protection part of the message concerns me somewhat. I am left wondering if perhaps I am in danger of becoming totally overrun by the darkness. Is someone or something praying upon me? Do I have an entity attached to me? Or is it something else, some larger, dark force? But then I don’t believe the darkness can really hurt me, nor do I feel a need to avoid it as it is part of the experience of duality. I even recognize that I am fascinated by the darkness. Plus, I have never felt a need to protect myself via visualization or prayer. My guidance has always done it for me when needed, if it even is needed (I still doubt this need).

diamonDiamond Light Codes

There was a brief dream of a discussion with a woman who was showing me a diagram that resembled a baseball diamond. I recall it being drawn like a map and feeling it was for assistance and protection. As I woke from this dream I began mentally speaking in light language, drawing a diamond around me with my hands. It was so streamlined and automatic that it surprised me out of the in-between.

As I emerged from the in-between I heard myself saying, “Diamond Light Codes” and then “Sacred geometry”. I was discussing this with someone and saying things about sacred geometry that indicated a thorough knowledge of the subject. Of course, I forgot it all.

A quick search on Google indicates the Diamond Light Codes and Light Body exist, but I do not have the time or desire to read through it all. Sometimes I get tired of hearing these specialized ascension terms from my guidance. It would be nice for it to simple and straightforward. It would also be nice if all the information coming in and made available matched. Beside, in the end, will any of this information and terminology matter anyway? Not likely. It seems more likely that the information is provided because so many of us humans want to know “why” all the time. What if we stopped asking why and just let it Be? We already Know it all anyway. Feel it and allow it. Who cares what it is called or what the process and steps are. This whole journey and questioning all the time is getting old and tiresome. I got a smile from my guidance from that. 🙂

Edit: After I posted this I recalled that the reason for the protection is not that a particular dark entity is looming in the shadows ready to pounce. It is instead that I am extremely open and empathic right now. My heart space is not only open but expanding (solar plexus and sacral are being integrated) and will remain so as part of a new energetic system/Light Body.

I have received this message before but I guess it just didn’t click. I have to learn to live with being in an expansively open state. I can’t bury the emotion or I will get sick. I have to allow it and protect myself from becoming over burdened and worn out. It will effectively “kill” my body, exhausting my adrenal system and overloading my nervous system if I don’t protect myself, care for myself and listen to my body.

This is part of the “holding more Light” we have all been preparing for. We need to be in top shape physically, but also emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Any of these that we are not meeting the minimum expectations in will be brought to our attention either via messages and dreams or through outright “assault” on that faculty. So, if you are not physically ready, your body will show you. If you are not emotionally ready, your emotions will show you. And so on and so forth. For me it appears my emotional and mental bodies are not quite there yet. Physically I’m doing much better (now anyway). Spiritually, well I guess I’m okay? lol

I remembered all of this information when I stumbled on this post this morning. She says:

Suppressing your emotions is probably one of the worst things you could do. Numbing them by resorting to substances, addictive behaviors or other forms of escapism will not help in the long run either.

It means also finding strength in our emotions. Allowing the flow of energy and information that moves through the emotional channels to act in your favour, rather than otherwise.

That is (at minimum) a 2-part process:

Detoxification – unburdening the body, mind and spirit of accumulated debris

Recalibration – discovering a new way to exist within a rapidly evolving physical and spiritual climate

Over a week ago I was asked to stop smoking and was told, “These destructive tendencies slow down the process. You must love yourself and your body”. I quit without issue (as is my usual). I was asked to never resume the habit. Strangely I have had absolutely no desire to resume it and the typical triggers have been in abundance! I also tossed out all wine on a whim. Down the drain it went. Yesterday I was asked to do a semi-fast/cleanse/detox. I started first thing this morning. So far I have not even been hungry today and all I’ve had is fresh juice from my juicer, mineral water and a bowl of oatmeal with honey.

 

 

 

 

by

Sick Again

My cold is still not completely gone and now I have some kind of awful stomach/intestinal virus. Maybe. Not sure what the hell it is or if it is even a virus. It feels like my stomach right below my ribs is getting kicked and it is nearly always aching. The pain arches upward toward my chest in a crescent shape and then hits my lower heart chakra. This started yesterday morning and has just gotten progressively worse pain-wise. My heart chakra even aches, which is really odd.

I’ve never had a stomach virus affect me this way. The closest I can recall is that I was sick way back in 2006 with a stomach virus that just made my tummy hurt and cramp all the time without any other symptoms. It lasted so long I went to the doctor, which is unheard of for me, and was told it was a virus that lasted up to two weeks and was told to take Mylanta which did absolutely nothing.

Whatever is going on I don’t think it is coincidence nor do I think my immune system is compromised or anything like that. I was told recently by my guidance that I needed to “rest” and I do rest, but probably not enough. I went to the gym even when I still felt pretty sick with the cold. I left early, though, and have taken it easy since then. Exercise makes me feel better usually so I opt to do it even when sick most of the time because it will lessen the symptoms temporarily giving me relief (cold symptoms especially). But this cramping stomach will definitely keep me inactive. Even walking to the park with my kids made it hurt more. 😦

Interestingly, the pain in my stomach was preceded by several mornings where eating breakfast was making me feel queasy. I ignored it, though, assuming it was my cold causing the queasiness.

Several others I know online are mentioning trouble in the same area that has been going on for a week. I also noticed others with the full-blown stomach flu. One friend asked me if it was a dietary change thing because those are the changes she is being asked to make. It reminded me of a message I received this morning. I heard “liquid diet” out of the blue. Yesterday I momentarily thought I needed to fix some things about my diet but ignored the message. Yet this morning I did opt for oatmeal over eggs and likely won’t eat much until this cramping crap passes.

So, I’m guessing this is just a warning to focus more on what I put into my stomach. I will likely get out my juicer and make more kitchari (Ayurvedic diet) and avoid meat. Sigh. I really like meat.

I am pretty tired of being sick by now as you can guess. These illnesses seem to put all my spiritual experiences on hold and have made dreamtime pretty boring because I am too tired to remember or care. This stomach trouble would not be so bad if I weren’t still coughing all the time and my nose was not still running incessantly. If this is chakra clearing then I must be clearing all of them except my root and crown!

by

Message: Risk and Aliveness

This morning I awoke feeling discouraged. Unsure what exactly had occurred in my sleep, I sat down to document yet another dream but felt little motivation to do so. As I began to type a message came through from my guidance (Council). It surprised me and brought on emotion toward the end because I have been feeling distanced from them.

You may be feeling a bit lost right now, stuck in between the beginning of a new chapter in your life and the end of an old one. This transition is necessary and though you may feel not to be moving or making much progress, there is so much more occurring under the surface of this change than you realize. 

It is in moments such as these that allowance is your best friend. Accept that you are in this transition stage; that you are not yet ready to begin the next chapter despite feeling restless and wanting to do so this very moment. We would suggest to be patient, but we know how you despise that word for it has been used against you by those you love for their own purposes this entire lifetime. So rather than go in that direction, we ask that you use this time to reflect on your most recent past experiences so that you can better understand their impact upon your life and your progress through it. How did the experience surprise you? How did it disappoint you? What is it about the experience that causes you to return to it over and over in your mind? What are you looking for? 

Sometimes it is difficult to let go of an especially interesting adventure in this plane of existence. The mystery, the suspense, the drama of such experiences hold our attention much like a movie does for the viewer except that when one is immersed in such an experience it is more alluring and captivating. Even the less palatable portions of the experience entice one to continue to explore and participate. It is your very nature that causes you to delight in these experiences for this why you are here – to experience the very extremes of this plane of existence. So in knowing that, in recognizing this very truth, there should be no regret, no despair at the apparent loss of such experiences for they served their purpose and you took advantage when you could very well have turned away when the opportunity was presented. 

So celebrate your success in taking the plunge when so often you choose not to. In doing so you chose to live when so often you exchange living for the familiar and the safe. In security there is little growth. Growth comes from challenge; from tasting the extremes of existence. Growth does not result from sameness. Sameness results only in stagnation. 

As Spirit participating in this human game-experience the struggles are real. We do not question that nor disagree with your complaints, which are frequent and quite liberal we must add. We only ask that you step back occasionally and view your experiences as they are rather than from the human perspective which is your tendency. The human perspective is so limited. It sees only what fuels its underlying purpose: Serve self. S(s)elf-service is not bad for it is through the self (in contrast to the Self) that one experiences the extremes of this plane most profoundly.  If you could instead view this life from the perspective of Self, then you would understand with clarity what is derived from the experience. The complete picture is vastly different from the little picture of which is your primary focus. 

We understand and do not expect you to take on the perspective of the Self continuously. In fact, it would be impossible for you to do so without undermining the self completely and thus losing your humanity in the process. The point is not to toss away, destroy or utterly decimate the human self to the point of non-function. No. If you considered this to be the case you have fooled yourself and become disillusioned and drawn into the game to your own detriment. The self must be contained but not destroyed. Self and self are meant to work together, not separate but not inseparable. They are companions on this journey through life, assisting one another, giving each the other’s perspective so as to enhance the total experience. Each provides the other with a lens through which to see life – one in black and white, the other in full HD color. 

The FULL life experience is waiting for you. It always has been. The task now is to grab hold of it, live it fully without restraint. Life lived does not mean risk in the sense that you are risking your life, but it does take risk to step away from that which is comfortable. Risk here invites loss and often this side of risk is all that one sees. Loss and failure is in fact all that the self sees when it considers taking a risk. Yet risk also invites success, excitement, jubilation. This is what the Self sees – the possibilities and living innate in taking a risk. Risk places you in the middle of success and failure and offers no guarantees. It exposes the taker revealing their underlying vulnerability, an uncomfortable truth the self doesn’t want to see.

We are not implying that inviting risk into your life experience is an easy task. However, consider how you have experienced risk in your life thus far. Risk that is thrust upon you by life circumstance, seemingly not of your making and out of your control, is often the kind of risk encountered by the self. This is risk wearing the mask of no-responsibility. The self claims no-responsibility. It says, “I didn’t choose this. I had to do it. I was forced to do it.”

But what if risk was a fully conscious choice? How then might it be perceived? Add conscious choice to your risk taking and suddenly its personality transforms. Risk become adventure. Excitement. A game. It becomes Life. It brings A-Life – Aliveness.

We brought this message to you this morning because you have been struggling. Sameness bothers you. You rebel against it. You always have. Yet you find yourself immersed in sameness, trapped by it (your words). You try to convince yourself that sameness is good, that you can overcome it merely by accepting it fully as a permanent condition of this lifetime. But sameness doesn’t have to be permanent and you don’t have to accept it as your life. 

As always we invite you to consider what we have said without imposition. You have been gifted with free will. We only encourage you to use it.