Tag Archives: Astral Travel

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On Lucidity

Today I am reminded of a message recently given to me by my guidance:

“If you can take what you have learned via the dreamstate – via your OBEs, via your communications with US, via your inner journey – and apply it to your waking state consciously and with intent you will see that your upsets and dramas over seemingly very large ordeals are surely a waste of your time and a distraction away from your true purpose here. It is in availing yourself of the opportunities you have been given via your spiritual insights and experiences that you will find the most success in this lifetime.”

This message reminder came along with a common saying and one I believe to be true – What you resist, persists.

I am the queen of avoidance (resistance). LOL

So I began to think of my OBEs. What lessons have they taught me? Have I been applying those lessons to waking life?

The evidence will be noted in both my waking and dreamstates. The lessons needed to be learned are more evident in the dreamstate because thought instantly creates reality. Here, in physicality, not so evident. Slower.

Part of being consciously aware is being lucid in waking life, not just in your dreamstate. The amount of lucidity that you have while dreaming is directly proportional to the amount of lucidity you have in your waking life. This is because the dream and the “reality” are one in the same.

On a positive note, I have made huge gains as evident by my dreams. My dreams are blending with my waking state more and more frequently. Often I cannot distinguish one from the other. Did I dream that? Or did that really happen? The answer: Yes. To both. lol

I won’t say “negative” but as a student of life, there are still many, many lessons yet to be learned. My avoidance of certain areas of waking life is beginning to catch up to me. My guidance has been trying to show me in my dreams and OBEs but I do not see. I don’t want to see.

In an OBE, if I do not want to see something and try to avoid it two things might happen: 1. I wake up or 2. I am trapped within the scene until I recognize what it is that needs recognizing and then I am free to move out of that scene. If I wake up, guess what happens if I go OOB again? Yep, I go right back to the scene I left. LOL

This is exactly the same thing that happens in waking life, too, just more slowly and with spaces of time between so that we think we have avoided what we want to avoid. We think, “I am free of [insert hellish situation or that which you wish to avoid]!” Then in a few months, years, even another lifetime, there we find ourselves right back in that situation.

I am not dense, I know this, many of you know this as well. It is true. Life repeats itself until the Truth is seen (lessons learned). If something continues to present itself, there is something still unseen.

At present, I am reminded of an OBE where I continued to come back to my teenage bedroom in my mother’s house over and over (9 times at least) regardless of how hard I tried to escape. I didn’t stay to learn what I needed to learn, so I kept returning. I am reminded of how conscious I was of this while it was occurring. Not very. 😦 In fact, my lucidity has been quite poor for a while now. It has dropped just in the last year.

Similarly, I am reminded of my waking life now. How are my actions similar to my actions in the above OBE scenario? Hahaha Exactly the same. So the solution? Stop trying to leave. Stay put and let life show me what it needs to show me. The lessons are right there to be learned, I just keep resisting them, trying to run from them. Why? Who knows. Probably attachment to outcome. Yep, that’s it.

And in staying put, allowing and accepting my present situation without trying to escape it, what will I find? Who knows. The key is to not over think it. It will find me and when it does and when I allow myself to see that which it shows me, I will be freed of it. This freedom could just be an acceptance of it or even finding joy in it. Ultimately it will free me up to change the scene if I still wish to do so. In an OBE this would be me materializing in a completely new place. 🙂

All of this goes along with following the heart as well. The mind is the one trying to go somewhere else, to greener pastures of whatever. Lucidity (awareness) moves up gradually on a gradient specific to the individual. The heart will tell the mind what to see, not the other way around. In an OBE, if I am not heart centered I am in what I call “the child” personality. I get nowhere in that state usually, but I have a lot of fun doing it. lol The child has been running rampant too long and wreaking havoc on my waking life as well. Love her and lovingly put her in her place (cage her more like it lol).

I hope this makes sense to you all. If not take what does and leave the rest. Or you can label me whatever you like and move on. 😉

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Nothing Like an Afternoon Projection….or Two

Despite a rough night and a full week of energy onslaught I took my guides’ advice and am doing a liquid fast today. I chose to incorporate juicing because my high-metabolism-body needs more than just water and lemon juice all day long to function properly. The fast started last night around 8pm and will go until tomorrow morning if I can make it that long. Approximately 36 hours.

So far so good. No major blood sugar drops. Only side effect thus far is a headache but that is because I skipped my daily cup of coffee. I had two different juice combinations for breakfast along with a hefty amount of water – an antioxidant one with strawberries, blueberries and lime and another that was carrot, apple and ginger.  I had a double round of a melon detox juice (yum!) and I did sneak a few bites of watermelon. I didn’t see the harm considering it is mostly water anyway. 😉 Just now I had a juice made of more greens than I normally eat in a day. Hoping that one does not come back to haunt me.

Since I am as exhausted as a mother with a newborn these days, I have been laying around most of the day. I only put forth effort when I make the juice and if you have ever juiced then you know it is quite an effort, especially to clean it afterward! My husband took the kids with him to help me out and so I went directly to bed. Of course, when I lay down I was not tired and my mind went through a gauntlet of thoughts. I felt my guidance, though, and as I became more and more relaxed, they became more and more present in my energy field.

Vision

They sent me a vision which was quite unexpected. I saw very clearly a man standing in green grass with a device in his hand. My attention was drawn to his feet which were completely bare. Then I noticed what he was doing: surveying. I laughed and came out of my reverie. Barefoot, just like I was in a recent dream. To me it means I have gotten to the point of allowing myself to feel vulnerable and freed of self-limiting beliefs. But it can also be a sign of indecision or a choice needing to be made. The surveying part was a message that me and my guides are preparing for what is ahead; making sure everything is exactly right. I was reassured that I am “ready”.

OBE: Spilling Milk

I should have known I would project. Laying there in bed in the middle of the afternoon, alone and with spiritual intent, I was reminded of the early days of my awakening. I use to take afternoon naps all the time to induce a conscious exit and then play for hours in the astral. So I said point blank to my guides, “I want to astral.”

The most common way to project for me is to go to sleep and then wake back up (WBTB) but since this was the afternoon I chose the meditation route. It was not long before I felt the energy settle over me like a blanket and my crown, third-eye and heart begin to buzz. What happens after is usually hynagogia but I skipped that part. It all just blacked out for a moment and then I heard noises as if my family was in the house. Of course, they weren’t in the house and I knew that, so as soon as I recognized the noises-off I sat up in bed and literally walked right out of my body. 🙂

I entered my old bedroom from high school. The colors were all gold and my vision was not as clear as I would have liked, but oh well. I still heard the noises that I had heard before but now I was able to focus on them. It was the sound of the television from the other room. I went through the door and into the living area, picked up my youngest child and went straight outside into the front yard.

Outside it was the middle of the day and the sun was almost too bright. I saw a bunch of people gathered in the driveway. I didn’t know them but I saw a man I thought I recognized standing with a woman I thought I recognized. Rather that talk to them, I took my son by the hand and led him up the gravel drive. It was very obvious to me then that I was barefoot, too. I remember thinking, “This normally would hurt my feet.” But there was no pain. I lifted up off the ground about a foot and led my son up the drive. What is odd is that I had in my hand a nearly empty gallon of milk and I was pouring the remaining contents on the ground as we flew up the drive. I was really happy to pour out the milk for some reason. lol

When we got to the end of the drive my son went to the mailbox and opened it up. He put something inside and I was about to ask him about it when the man who had been down by the car interrupted me. I don’t remember what he said but I knew him then. He was one of my guides. I don’t think I was suppose to be there either.

This guide was quite big and his hair was a nearly white blonde and shoulder length. He grabbed me and turned me toward him quite roughly. I was in a playful mood so didn’t care. I reached up and kissed him square on the lips. I think I was hoping for some Kundalini rising, but there was nothing like that.

He kissed me back but he also returned me to my bedroom and lingered there until I went back to my body. It was like he escorted me back. Ha!

OBE: Woman in a Headdress 

Whatever his message was, I don’t think I quite got it because as soon as I was back in my body I heard the noises-off again and knew I could exit. As soon as I began to sit up, I both saw and felt someone standing over me. My vision was not on yet so I began to open my eyes and squinted as I began to see the outline of a very beautiful woman take form. I think I had expected my blonde guide because I said to her, “You’re a woman!” I could see jewelry hanging off of her. It was gold and she appeared to have both a necklace and dangling earrings. She touched me on my back and rolled me toward her. Still in my playful mode I was thinking she was being sexual but I was not interested in that. I just wanted to see her more clearly. Unfortunately, it was like she was back lit so it was hard to make out any of her features. Whoever she was, she was quite beautiful energy-wise and from what I could see of her. She also was wearing some kind of very large headdress. The headdress was spiky and seemed to form a star over her head. The way she was moving my astral body I began to wonder why she was there. She kept rolling me back into bed and toward her, as if she was trying to lay me flat. Eventually she got what she wanted and my projection ended. Right before I went back into my body, though, I saw very clearly gold-tipped, white, feathered wings coming out of this woman’s back.

When I came back into my body I was laying on my back with my arms over my head. I don’t remember being in that position to begin with. I wanted to try and go back OOB but my energy seemed to fizzle. I got the message quite quickly that I needed to get up and get more “sustenance”. So I did.

 

 

 

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OBE: Are You Hungry?

So what did you think of the massive download energy this weekend? Exhausting is the word I will use since I was flat out barely able to find any energy to function because of it. Saturday was the worst day but yesterday I woke up with it and kept lounging in bed unable to free myself from its grip. I felt tranquilized. lol I asked for a solution and was told to get outside, so I did and it did help.

I was forewarned about the energy stream, which I wrote about here. The entire weekend event began with a massive Kundalini rising episode, too. Way to start off the weekend, eh!?  🙂

The main reason for my posting here today is because I got a surprise OBE this morning. Yay, right? Um, not so much. lol But I also had many vivid dreams last night and three – yes three! – friends of mine were with me. Pretty rare for my dreams.

Dream: Missing My Son

I was in an airport with my friend Yvonne Perry and some others of our group who I cannot remember now. She was leading the group and I could see her blonde hair almost glowing. It was shoulder length, which it is not in real life. She said to us, “You better get ready, we leave in an hour. We had to move up the schedule.” I asked, “What time?” She said, “2:30.” I asked, “What time is it now?” I heard, “1:30.” I remember thinking to myself, “That is not enough time to get ready!”

Then we boarded the plane and found our seats. It reminded me of a plane from another dream – way bigger than any normal airplane with a domed central area. A flight attendant came to inquire about what we would like for lunch. He was a nice looking, young black man with smiling eyes. I liked him instantly. We had a brief conversation about what I could and could not eat. We joked about my braces and their limiting my eating of “good” food. LOL

At some point we arrived at our destination. Where that was, I don’t know. My friend Molly was talking with me about leaving behind her children. We were both leaving behind our children. I remember saying to her, “I just have to say goodbye one last time.” I was getting sad at this point and a feeling of grief was quickly becoming evident.

trainThen I saw a set of three tiny toy trains on the floor. One was brand new and bigger than the others. I knelt down and put them in a circle and said, “He loved his choo-choo’s.” Then I saw him there, playing with his trains – my youngest. He was so happy and babbling away as he played. I watched and felt huge waves of grief hit me. Wave upon wave upon wave. I said, “It is not that I am sad that he is gone. I am sad that I will never see him again.” With this it felt as if I had left him, not that he had left me. It was like I was Spirit looking back at those in my life who were still living. I was the ghost and they were the living. Yet in the dream it appeared that my son was a ghost.

I woke up sobbing so intensely I could not breathe. My Companion was with me and I saw/felt him holding my hand. The feeling coming from him was that he understood. There was also a strange feeling that the dream was preparing me to leave. I wondered why losing my son was affecting me so and heard, “He still needs you.” That made sense. I use to have the same reaction when my mother needed me. Once she didn’t, I had no problem detaching. I heard from my Companion, “We are in this together.”

Dream: Dogs and Popcorn

In this dream I was inside the garage of a house. I heard a noise and went outside. There was this massive black dog roaming around. I saw him and tentatively put out my hand. He sniffed it and then went back to pacing in front of the garage I had just come from. There was another little dog, too. They seemed to be on alert to something. I was able to pet the black dog a few times before I went back inside.

Inside my friend David was handing out bags of caramel popcorn to me and my children. My bag had already been opened and I said something about it. My middle son said, “I did that.” lol I remember being worried about the dogs coming in and closed the garage door really fast. I did not eat my popcorn but gave it to my daughter.

OBE: Are You Hungry?

This OBE actually happened between the two above dreams. I had woken up at 3:30 sobbing and so got up to get a snack and calm down.

The next thing I remember is hearing my children moving about the house. I knew it was way too early and remember mentally cursing my luck and wanting to yell at them. Then I thought, “It is likely just the noises off that go with the trance state. Just ignore it.”

So ignore it I did only to hear the noises of my children even more loudly. I could not stand it. They were up way too early! I got out of bed and opened the bedroom door, yelling at them, “Get back to bed! It’s too early for you to be up!” But when I opened the door I saw a kitchen table in front of me. What??

I knew instantly I was OOB. Oops! How did that happen? lol

I calmed down and went toward the table. All three of my children were sitting at the table. My daughter had my youngest in her lap. My middle son was sitting in a chair by himself.

I sat down in front of my son. For some reason I was very happy to be there with them. I looked at them and I guess because they were at the kitchen table I assumed they were hungry. I asked them, “Are you hungry??” My daughter nodded her head no, as did my youngest. My middle son didn’t answer.

This is when the OBE turned really weird. Ultimately, my root and heart chakras exploded to the point that I woke up wondering what the hell just happened.

Not only had I been duped into having this OBE (I had no intention whatsoever to go OOB) but it appears that I was being encouraged to released some sexual tension. LOL I will say that since the Kundalini episode Saturday I have been extremely sexually frustrated. In considering the question I asked my children – Are you hungry? – the answer was clear.

 

 

 

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Guide Initiated OBEs

Have I told you lately just how much I love OBEs? Or how much I adore my guides? Well if not, I just did. My Team is awesome, even if they do laugh at me sometimes.

The night was eventful but I will start after I woke at 3:00am to one of my guides trying to get me to talk about following my heart and being my true Self. I was too tired to talk and so tried to ignore him. That didn’t work. Obviously.

OBE 1: Someone’s Behind Me

I had been in a lucid dream before I woke up in the dream and took over. The reason I woke up in the dream was because I heard someone talking to me and also because when I walked back through a normal size door, it shrunk to the size of a dog door and I barely squeezed through.

I could hear my guide and though I don’t recall what we were discussing there is memory here of going outside of the school I had been in. When we went outside it was a beautiful night and the stars were so brilliant that I was stunned by them. I remember seeing a city sprawled out in front of me. It was reminiscent of something out of a story book with older buildings and narrow streets of cobblestone. I remember there was a clock tower and a bridge.

I recall on of my children being with me temporarily during this OBE. I was showing them how to fly but at one point I remember making the decision to leave them behind. This, I feel, is significant for me. Usually, if one of my children is in my OBE, I make sure to bring them with me. When I made the choice to leave my child behind, the presence of my guide became very apparent.

At some point I became so absolutely joy-filled from the experience that I remember completely surrendering to my guide. With that, I felt myself going up towards the stars and then I floated there for a while, immersed in their brilliant light and taking in the scenery of the city from a position high above it. I felt someone gently nudging me forward so I felt around – behind me, on both sides – no one. Yet I knew he was there. I felt him nudge me! Then I began to move up, up, up and I thought, “I’m going to go into space.” I was all for it, but then I was held back by invisible hands. With that, my vision began to darken and I felt myself come into my sleeping body.

My main memories of this OBE are the feeling and the clarity of my vision. Both were spectacular.

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OBE: Here I Am

When I felt my body all I wanted to do was return to sleep. There was no desire to be OOB and I didn’t care what happened, I was going to sleep. Yet it appears that was not up to me because the next thing I remember is being with a tall, slender, dark haired man inside a small room with children.

The children were my main focus as was the room. It was small, with a brightly colored sofa in the middle, a kitchen sink behind the sofa, brightly colored pictures on the walls, and toys and stuffed animals all around. I sat on the sofa with the man, who I did not really notice right away because I was talking to the children. We were talking about the things in the room, but I forget most of this part now. I recall one time seeing a small tea cup (child-sized) full of milk and pouring it down the sink whose drain had been tiled in beautiful mosaics. That was how the entire room was – mosaics, patterns, and geometric shapes in brilliant colors covered everything.

There is fuzzy memory here of practicing manifesting. I would create things, watch them appear, and then show the children. At one point, I went inside this section of the room and there were animals of all sizes piled in the corner. They had been mounted/stuffed by a taxidermist. While we watched, the animals came to life and suddenly all of them came running toward us. Thankfully, they were all small – rodents, squirrels, rabbits, otters and weasels. A mink crawled on me and I remember laughing because I could feel it’s tiny claws on my skin. There was no fear at all.

Then I was sitting on the sofa talking to a man. I didn’t question it at first. It was something I did all the time in body and out, so why would I? Then the man was laying on top of me, completely naked. He was facing up and I could feel his bare skin and see all of him except his face. I hugged him to me, feeling his warmth. His skin tone was darker than mine, sort of tan/golden and he was very thin and wiry/muscular. At this point it was like we switched places, back and forth. One minute I was looking at him and the next I as looking at myself in this body. I kept seeing my breasts and they were sagging and wrinkled like those of a woman much older than me. I wasn’t completely horrified but I remember not wanting to see it. lol

While I am seeing and experiencing this, we are talking. He says to me about my reaction to him, “You are not like the others.” I said, “Really?” The rest of the message came in a feeling/knowing – that the others reacted sexually or took the experience very seriously without recognizing him or the dream. This got me thinking, “What others? Oh, wait he must be my guide.” He confirmed and said, “I’m your guide.” Then I asked, “What do you call me, then?” He said, “You are my assignment.” That made sense and I completely accepted it and went back to feeling completely happy and joyful. It was like I was with an old friend hanging out.

There was in front of us a large television, one of those massive big screened ones. My guide encouraged me to inspect it and I touched it and the screen shimmered. I thought, “Portal” and so tried to go into it. I couldn’t. What? Then I was holding a cell phone and texting a message which was quickly edited by my guide. I don’t recall the message now but I know who it was to.

After some more talking, I remember wondering about his name and hearing, “Why don’t you ask me?” I remember thinking back, “I don’t care what your name is. You have many names, remember?” lol But I knew he wanted me to call him Tom, Major Tom, as in the song by David Bowie. Always a teachable moment with my guides. 🙂

I came back into my body at this point. My energy settled indicating I was not going back out. I wondered why  because at this point I was having fun and he said, “You need to remember”. I tried to remember but many points were fuzzy and he sent a “See, told you. The memories are fading” type of feeling to me. I remembered meeting him and laughed about it because he was butt naked. Then he reminded me of what he said and said, “You did not respond sexually, why?” I thought about it and said, “I’m not interested in that with you.” Then I thought about my counterpart and my heart lit up and he said, “Ah, yes, you are interested in him.” Then it was back to why he initiated the OBE in the first place, which I will save for another post – maybe. I think I may keep that to myself for now. 🙂

 

 

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OBE’s Galore

I woke at 4am after a series of dreams. I was starving so got up and ate some yogurt. When I returned to bed I fell into a lucid dream that I soon realized for what it was. I was looking at the inside of a home with large, brightly curtained windows. There was a beautiful Spring day outside the window. I saw things in such vivid detail that I knew I was dreaming and took over the dream. When I did, I ended up at the top of my daughter’s bunk bed looking down at a very dark room. For a moment my vision remained but when it turned dark I lost lucidity and came back into my body.

Surprised that I had projected, I allowed my energy to settle for a bit. It was pretty calm compared to how it was the last time I projected. The next thing I knew I was OOB again after that. I projected back to the brightly lit room. Then I came back into my body not long after. I did this about 8 or 9 times total, the projections getting longer and longer as I went.

Since I don’t remember every single projection, I will recount the ones I do remember.

OBE: Peahen

In one projection I was standing at the front door of a house and saw a peahen. I talked to her as I let her out of the house. I said, “Oh, mama peahen, you must get back to your little babies.” lol This mama peahen was not like any I had seen, and we had raised many of them when I was young. She had the brown feathers of a female peahen, but hers were outlined in gold with tiny eyes that mimicked the male peacock. Each of the eyes was a dark, amber color. She was spectacular for a peahen. I knew during the experience that this was significant. Peacocks = manifestation. Female peahen = female manifestation. Female power.

OBE: Bunny and Tiger

One short projection was primarily focused on a little, gray bunny. I watched it hop around for some time. I followed it and discovered it playing and snuggling up with a very large tiger. Shocked, I watched as the tiger purred and snuggled with the bunny. I kept worrying it would eat the bunny but remember hearing someone say to me, “The tiger will only chase if the bunny runs. It’s instinct is to chase that which runs. The bunny’s instinct is to run but it is not following its instinct. Instead it is doing the unexpected. This passifies the tiger.” I watched, amazed.

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OBE: Witnessing Source

In another projection I had grown frustrated with being unable to create the scene I found myself in. I kept returning to this one room in this one house with this one large window that looked outside on a beautiful, bright Spring day. I rarely could get outside and I had just gotten outside only to end up back in my body. I had requested help and felt I needed to focus on my heart. So this time when I entered the bedroom, I focused on my heart and stated, “I want to see Source.” I relaxed and willed my body to be taken where it needed to go. The room and my body began to spin gently. I fell into a horizontal position, as if lying on a bed but I was floating in the air. I rose upward and through the top of the house only to end up going back down into the room to face the large window. Through the window, though, I could see a magnificent sunrise. It was fuchsia, yellow and orange and it sang to me. The colors vibrated and moved toward me and I could HEAR them. OMG it was so beautiful! I put my hand on the window and tried to pass through it but I couldn’t. I said aloud, “How do I get to it [Source]? I want to be in it.” The window stayed and I could not go through it. This was upsetting to me because in the projection prior to this I had gone straight through the window to the outside where I saw a large white dog. Now here I was seemingly trapped after I had just risen right through the roof! Why!? With this thought I felt it was not my time yet. Not yet. Sigh.

OBE: Seance

I came back into my body. This time, however, I thought I was awake. I had a false awakening. There was this heavy, go-back-to-sleep feeling and I felt drugged. I remember laying in my bed thinking about how I wasn’t ready to wake up. lol At one point I recognized again I was dreaming and could exit so I did. This time I exited into a scene in which there were several people sitting together at a round table. One woman was in a trance and channeling Spirit. Was this a seance? I thought it was fun because I was going to be Spirit. lol So I gave the woman a message and she passed it along. I told her a bunch of things the last of which was that the man she was reading for tended to bully people. She asked the man across from her to stop being a bully. I had not told her that at all! Realizing my messages were not getting through accurately I gave up on talking to them and went toward the window to exit the scene. I succeeded in exiting via the wall. I just went right through it. On the other side it I found myself outside amidst the trees. I could see the stars and I felt so free that I began to sing loudly. The more I sang the more energy I felt in my astral body. I began to rise up into the air and spin.

OBE: Freedom

In this projection I managed to get outside very quickly after projecting into the room. I went through a window and found myself standing on the back door step looking at a clear night sky full of sparkling stars. I stared at the sky for a while and there was a conversation going on in my head about what I should do. All I remember was thinking, “I want to be free.” I tried to fly but felt a strong magnetic pull toward the ground. Eventually, I was able to fly up and I began to try and fly as far from the house as I could because I had been stuck to it throughout all my projections. I was able to get quite a good distance. I remember traveling toward a brightly lit, crystal blue swimming pool. Unfortunately, I lost my vision and soon after ended up back in my body.

I experienced several false awakenings after this. Each time I would feel drowsy but know that I needed to project and off I would go. At one point I remember feeling like my pants were way too tight, like cutting through my skin, and tried to loosen them. This happened recently in another experience I had, so I knew it was related to work being done on my energy body.

OBE: Not My Life

The last OBE I had was after a false awakening. I remember my children being there but my middle son was gone visiting my mom. I was in my bed and my SIL and her friend who hold the school for my middle son were there to pick him up. Since he wasn’t there I was going to send my daughter and they offered to also take my youngest. It became a mixed up lucid dream at this point and for some reason I ended up looking inside the freezer for a lunch for my daughter and only found gluten free and vegetarian stuff. The last thing I remember was thinking, “This is not my life.”

When I woke I asked about the strange sensation of having a string tied around my mid-section at the separation between the heart chakra and solar plexus. What was that? I was told it had to do with the separation of the energy bodies.

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Dream, OBE and Realizations

As always, just when I think I’ve gone back to “normal”, something happens to shake things up.

It began with me feeling a strange energy shift yesterday which made me feel a bit melancholy. I requested help prior to sleep, asking my guidance what, if anything, I should do. I was told I would astral project but I responded that I was not really interested in projecting.

Dream: Scandal

I entered a semi-lucid dream in which I was a guest at a luncheon with many friends and acquaintances. The house was quaint and reminded me of a country cottage. There was a long table dressed with a white tablecloth in the center of a country-style kitchen. Sitting at the table was approximately five or six people, couples mostly.

The wooden floors creaked as I approached the table. I was introduced to a woman who was familiar from recent dream. She had dark, curly, shoulder-length hair and fair skin. When we were introduced I became dizzy, which was odd. My entire head began to spin and within the dream I recognized why. I knew this woman and her partner. There was a brief memory of Russia being involved in this exchange of information. A past life perhaps? IDK but it triggered a dizzy spell within the dream experience.

Then I was interacting with this woman’s partner. I never quite saw him clearly, which is weird. He was young, I know that, and I believe he also had fair skin but still I struggle to recall his exact appearance. He came up to me and there was a huge inrush of attraction and energy that hit me square in the heart and shot down through to my root chakra. He moved in very close to me and there was a knowingness that his intentions were to be with me despite having a partner. He hooked his arm around mine and led me to the opposite side of the room. He kept brushing my chest purposefully. I recall that I was wearing a corseted blue dress. My reaction to this was to pull away out of fear that someone would see us. I remember a man glancing in our direction and the word “scandal” came to mind.

Then we were outside of the cottage on the edge of a large, green meadow. There were very tall trees that towered over us and a cool breeze. I leaned up against one of the trees, its bark was white like an aspen. The man was with me and he was embracing me and there was such a glorious feeling in this. My heart was so full that I could not breathe. I recall him asking me if I would run off to Montana with him. I wanted to. Badly. Yet I kept having this awful feeling of dread and my emotions were conflicted to the point of torture. What about his partner? I couldn’t do that to her. I was ashamed that I wanted to.

I don’t recall making out or doing anything sexual with this man. At one point, though, my breasts were exposed and I was encouraging him by saying, “They are all outside”. Obviously, the dream had shifted back to inside the cottage. The man said, “No, they are just there” pointing to the doors. I became frozen with fear at this point and a bit paranoid. The energy was still pummeling me from my chest to my toes. I was overcome by it. I wanted to completely succumb to it yet at the same time I was paralyzed by it.

At this point the man and everyone else disappeared. I was alone in the cottage searching for a broom and dustpan. My entire focus was to sweep up some spilled cereal that had gotten underneath the cabinets. At the back of my mind the entire time was the man and what he represented. I wanted nothing to do with any of it.

Realizations

I woke up gradually and without much memory of the dream at first. However, someone was still speaking to me and encouraging me to remember. I was asked to focus on what I felt. When I did this I felt the surge of energy in my heart chakra and an inability to breathe through it. I shut it down as quickly as I could but at the same time I did not want the feeling to stop. It is the most spectacular feeling yet when I have it I feel so much dread, as if I will die or something horrible will happen if I allow it. I want desperately to get away from the feeling.

Within moments of all of this, I realized  my “running” was true. I was absolutely terrified and in that moment all I felt was a paralyzing terror. The heart sensation was muted and I wanted to feel it but I also wanted to run as far away from it as I could get. To want something so desperately but at the same time feel absolute terror and dread for that very thing is a VERY conflicting situation to be in. I HATE IT!

The dream began to hit me in full and the woman and the dizzy feeling was very pronounced. I literally began to lose consciousness in the dream and could almost contact the feeling right then and there while recalling it. I knew there was a past life connection there somewhere. It was linked to Russia and in recalling the dream I remember hearing someone speak with a Russian accent. In my mind a scenario began to play out. Couple immigrates from Russia. Man meets me and we are caught up in a scandalous romance. He begs me to run off with him to Montana.

I immediately tossed it from my mind, though. I couldn’t handle it. No more past lives! No more of any of this!

I felt so much dread and a pure panic. My mind was going a million miles an hour but the thoughts were muddled and nothing made sense. The main thoughts that I had were that that wonderful feeling = really horribly bad stuff. lol

As I calmed and listened to my guidance I understood that the Kundalini was in a sense forcing these issues to the surface. I have so much fear associated with this particular kind of love but I desperately want to experience it. I was reminded that this love is okay and I am not “bad” for feeling it. Despite this I could not help but feel “bad”. I felt awful. I felt like a whore. A slut. Completely degraded. WTF?

OBE

I fell back to sleep hearing my guide tell me, “You will project”. He was correct. But it was a brief projection. Almost immediately upon returning to sleep I woke up from within a dream and said, “I’m OUT! I’m OUT!” over and over. “Out” meaning OOB. I disconnected from my dream-self, turned around and forcefully said to her, “I’m OUT!!!” As I did, I literally pushed her away from me but the sensation was the opposite of what I expected. I felt myself pulled with intense force back into her. For what seemed like an eternity I pushed and pushed with all my might to get away from her. I was “out” but couldn’t detach completely. And in focusing so much on trying to get out I began to hold my breath. Imagine pushing on something, like a heavy dresser, and how you bear down, holding your breath as you push with all your might. This is what I did to the point that I felt my physical body screaming for air. The sensation of breathlessness was the last straw and my physical body sucked me back with such force that my energy was very strange and I felt somewhat disoriented. I yelled at my guides, “I want OUT and I don’t want to ever go back!” I heard in reply, “Foolish girl”. LOL Now that just made me angry and I said, “If it is possible I will figure out how to do it.”

Considerations

I drifted back to sleep briefly and when I awoke I felt much more settled. My heart was no longer blazing but my entire midsection was sore. I am sure I gave my solar plexus quite a workout. lol

The struggle I am going through is not fun. I honestly don’t know how to embrace the feeling that I obviously want to embrace despite the fear it triggers. I know I need to confront the fear head-on but I don’t know how. There is such an exhaustion related to this struggle now. I wish I had never contacted the feeling now, but then I can’t go back, can I? Obviously, in my past lives, I have felt the feeling and been overcome by it, making some really stupid decisions and then blaming myself, degrading myself, beating myself up for it. There is a sense that I would die for the feeling, and I guess I have several times. LOL I can laugh now, but then the energetic impact, the “soul damage” that has been done is painfully obvious. I relate the feelings with being “bad” or “bad” things. The judgement is severe. Sigh. Yet I know I will get past it. The only way out is through.

 

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Mother’s Day OBE

It isn’t a grand OBE but since they are so few and far between, I will take what I can get.

I found myself sitting on a sofa in my house. Feeling very tired, I struggled to stay awake. No one was nearby and there was a strange sensation about me that made me a bit restless. Yet at the same time I just wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep.

For some reason my thoughts are hazy. I remember feeling that I was not dreaming – that I was awake. Yet at the same time I struggled with this consideration and kept trying to figure out how to wake up in the dream I was obviously in.

In this lucid state I fell to sleep only to find myself OOB and floating above some plants in my back yard. They were tropical looking plants, their bright green leaves sparkling with dew. They were spectacular and I kept inspecting them because looking at them brought me great joy. Even now the visual of these teardrop-shaped leaves is ingrained in my memory.

Then I was back in my body within the lucid dream. The shift from within this dream to OBE and then back seemed to awaken me even more. I recognized my house but everything was in the wrong place. The sofa I was sitting on was in the dining room and not at all where it should have been. My thoughts are still hard to contact here but I do recall that I stated over and over, “I am OOB. I am OOB.” I said it a good 10-15 times. As I did, I recall shifting out of my body in the lucid dream and feeling a tug back to my body that was very, very strong. There was also a very strong pull into unconsciousness that I was fighting. I felt as if a rubber band was around my lucid self and the self sitting on the sofa in the dream. Very strange!

There were thoughts at this time that I would surely fail to exit my body. But by some miracle I was able to separate completely. As soon as I did, I shifted out of the dining room into the backyard and up into the sky. I looked for the teardrop leaves that I had seen earlier but my vision was all gray, like storm clouds muddling the scenery. I did spot them but their previously green, luminous leaves were a solid, light gray.

I looked up at the sky which was covered in gray clouds and said, “I want to see light.” The sky began to lighten and I felt myself lighten along with it. And the more light I felt, the more I felt pulled upward and into the sky. But I did not want to go up into the sky. I wanted to stay and inspect the beauty that surrounded me. Despite my desire to explore, the sky kept pulling me up, up, up and I feared I would be taken out into space. I don’t know why I got afraid when I felt this pull. I consciously know that it is a signal that I am shifting to a higher level; that my vibration is rising. Yet this time I feared it.

My vision blacked out and instead of shifting into a different scene I felt myself re-enter my sleeping body. The vibrations were really erratic though and a bit disturbing. Something felt very off about the energy and I rejected it. I did not want to return so perhaps that is why it felt so off? It was like I was being shaken very vigorously and had I been awake it most certainly would have made me nauseous.

 

 

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OBE: Human DNA

I awoke at 5:30am wide awake and determined to fix my life. lol I got up and got a drink of water to try and calm down because even though I was prepared to do some drastic things at that very moment, I knew better than to do anything when in such a state.

I returned to bed at 5:55am and tried to meditate. It didn’t work too well at first but slowly the irritation melted away. The last thing I remember is hearing the tiny footsteps of one of my children as they went downstairs. I remember thinking, “That’s it. I’m going to have to get up soon.” Then I remembered it was Sunday and realized I didn’t have to get up. So I rolled over onto my left side to sleep.

Lucid to OBE: The Plan

I found myself in a dark room along with two others both of them men I think. I couldn’t see well but the energy was good and so I assumed the lights were just off. One man in particular was very close to me. I could feel his arm next to mine. This brought on full lucidty and I knew I was OOB. I looked at my hands and said, “Clarity now” and could feel and see everything stabilize. Still feeling the man so close to me I began to immediately want one thing: sex. LOL

I kept trying to get the man interested in me but he was talking strangely. Talking about a “plan” that needed to be worked on and asking the other guy if he had gotten the information. The whole conversation reminded me of a James Bond movie or “Black Ops” type stuff. I was not in the least interested in what they were saying, though.

The man I was interested in kept walking away from me as he was talking. I was aware of a door and heard someone enter and them whispering. Still not caring, I got the attention of the guy and tried to kiss him and he sent me a message telepathically that this was not what we were suppose to be doing. lolol Looking back on this now I am sure I was in my child personality – all bubbly and high energy and a bit sporadic. I definitely don’t listen well when I am “the child”.

At some point I lost connection and shifted into my body. I could feel the energy still prime to go back out, so I did.

OBE: Human DNA

Back in the scene again, I immediately went back to trying to get the guy interested in me. The conversation continued about this “plan” but I was oblivious. Instead, I wanted to play.

Looking up I noticed a staircase and grabbed onto the railing. I swung up and around it and then landed right on top of the man. I still can’t see him but this time he allows me to embrace him and kiss him, but something is weird about it. I did’t physically feel him but instead it felt like a blob of plastic. And it is like I am kissing air. Undeterred I hear him say something like, “There, I’m done.” I say back to him, “I want to see you.” I strain my eyes through the darkness to try and see him. I see an outline and move closer and then he ducks out of the way. He does this several times until I grab onto him and push him down onto the floor.

Finally thinking I will be able to see this mystery man, I look down at the person whose shoulders I have my hands on. My vision suddenly brightens up, like someone turned on the lights. In front of me is not a man at all but a small girl with long, blonde hair. When I see her I let her get up and she looks at me a bit stunned. I’m stunned briefly but then see a flash of color through the windows. “Fireworks!” I yell to the girl. She looks confused. I say to her, “Come on! Let’s go see!” I grab her hand and she resists, pulling back, but I am bigger and stronger and just drag her along behind me.

I go right through the door – no resistance. It is like it just disappears. The girl is right behind me but I don’t feel like I am dragging her anymore.

We fly out into the road and I can see the bright reds, blues and whites of what I assume is fireworks. At the same time, a small child comes running toward us. He is all alone and couldn’t be more than 3 or 4 years old. I say aloud, “There’s a kid coming.” I heard a boy’s voice respond but I never see who it comes from.

I turn to see who is speaking to me but my attention is drawn to my own house. It is bigger than life and so grand looking, the white bricks gleaming. It resembles a mansion. I also notice that we are standing lower than we should be. There is a small, stone stair that leads up to the house. Being this stair is not there in real life, I take note of it wondering briefly where I am.

I still see fireworks and hear booming but am confused because no fireworks I’ve ever seen looked this way. I say aloud, “I wonder what it is?” and send a mental thought wondering why the colors were not streaming down like fireworks do. And hear a male voice say, “It’s human DNA.” And I think, “Of course.”

I grab the little girl’s hand and we fly toward the noise and lights. We are stopped suddenly by a black military Hummer. Men in black and gray military garb wearing black hats and carrying radios hang out the windows and glare at us. This is when I begin to think the fireworks are not fireworks but flares and the booms are guns.

Curious and with absolutely no fear, I float down the street and see tall apartment buildings to my left. I hear yelling. I stop and look up and on a balcony above there are several men in black with guns. They are pointing their guns at civilians who are wearing their night clothes and very obviously afraid. I hear a gun go off and one of the men in black yells. I see a woman, obviously terrified, follow orders and stand where she is told. There is a line of scared civilians behind her. I know a man had just been killed and shudder a bit from the knowledge of this.

We continue down the street which has now morphed into some unfamiliar city. It reminds me of the UK but I have not been to many European cities so it could have been anywhere. The reason it reminded me of the UK is that there were shops on the lower levels of the buildings and above them were apartments where people lived. The buildings were very close together. Quite cramped for space. This is what I saw when I visited London.

I saw on the streets two men standing and watching the commotion on the balcony above. They look foreign but their skin tone is white and both look to be in their 50’s. One was smoking a cigarette. I asked them if they were going to do anything. The man with the cigarette said something like, “We don’t get involved” and they both shrugged their shoulders. Both were wearing a red cloth armband and their clothing reminded me of clothing a rebel or militia member would wear. The color was mostly green but it was not a uniform. It was familiar to me but now I cannot place it.

There was a realization at this time that pulled me back into my body. My last thought was, “Too many of us are bystanders.” And I felt so sad about how few of us were trying to help. It was like the entire OBE was a lesson on the state of the world and why it was the way it was. Too many bystanders.

Message

Back in my body I sensed my guides near and said, “I want to go back.” I knew my energy was not right but despite that I still tried to return. Instead I ended up in the in-between with several guides around me. It was like the first OBE – the scene was dark and I could not see anyone’s face.

I could sense the presence of both male and female energy. Still trying to will myself back into the scene, I kept trying to catch the right wave of vibrations to exit. When it became clear that I was not suppose to leave, I settled down.

Then I heard a male voice say, “You have six keys left.” In front of me I saw an illuminated golden key ring and six small, golden keys dangling from it. Before I had a chance to think about it I heard a woman’s voice say, “We’ve been trying to tell you. You can’t act prematurely. There’s still six left to go.”

There was more said without words. I knew these were the ones helping me, who have been helping me for a while now. There was a sense that I was not being very cooperative and this was their attempt to get me to listen. The message was clear, “Now was not the time to take action. These feelings will pass.”

Edit: I took 100mg B6 prior to bed. I’m starting to think B6 is my ticket to OBE. lol

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OBE: Conscious Exit and Pranayama

I woke at 5am. Again. Sigh. Wide awake, this time I was in a better mood and took advantage of the quiet time and meditated. I stated my intent to astral project and asked for help in dropping my astral body.

OBE: Conscious Exit

Laying on my back, I grew listless and uncomfortable after a short while, so rolled over onto my left side. I stated mentally several times, “I am out of body”. Then there is a blank space, as if everything goes black.

The next thing I recall, I am pulled out of the background noise of my conscious mind by the humming of insects and chirping crickets. At the same time I saw an image in front of me of a dense forest and starry night sky. With the image came the actual feeling of being in the forest along with the musty smell of the forest floor. The image would fade in and out and I knew I needed to focus on it in order to be pulled into it. Yet I was very, very drowsy and resisted the draw into the forest. Part of me just wanted to sleep.

As I watched and listened to this forest in front of me, the chirping crickets and hum of the forest faded out and was replaced by the familiar noise of my home in the morning – children talking excitedly, kitchen noises as breakfast is being made, etc. The image of the forest disappeared when these new noises came in. I knew these were noises-off and to not focus on them, even though I wanted to. I reminded myself to ignore them and that is when I recognized the vibrations hitting me in waves. Woosh, woosh, woosh.

Not near as intense as when I first began to project, the vibrations were noticeable enough to alert me to the fact that it was a prime time to exit my body. I remember having to convince myself that I wanted to project and feeling nearly sucked into unconsciousness. Eventually, though, my intent won over and I pulled myself out of my body. I exited via my back and my head and shoulders lingered longer than the rest of me. The feeling was like sticky, taffy, but I was not going to give up and I forced the rest of my astral body out and away from my body.

Instantly I could see very clearly and the room was lit up with a bright, yellow/gold color. The walls were white (in reality they are green) and everything was sparkling with energy.

I did not linger long at the sight because I knew I needed to get a certain distance from my body else it would suck me back it and the tacky, heavy energy was still present. I did look at my hands for a moment and say, “Clarity now!” but I did not linger and find out if it made any difference.

I floated through a non-existent door (which should have been there) and across the family room toward the stairs. The stairs were not in the right place either and instead of being one single flight, there were two separated by a landing.

As I floated down the stairs I felt a distinct rise in my vibration. I had gotten far enough away from my body! I began to giggle and wanted to fly but felt I should not attempt it yet. So, I hopped the stair railing and skipped the landing altogether, jump-floating down the stairs. Then I saw my son sitting at the bottom of the stairs surrounded by tons of toys. He looked up at me, his green eyes sparkling and a big smile on his face. I remember hearing him in my mind at first. His greeting was a surge of love and joy.

I had not forgotten my purpose for this projection: to drop my astral body. I knew in order to do this I needed to get outside. So, when I saw my son taking up the entire bottom of the stairs I paused and told him, “It’s a beautiful day! I’m going outside.” He looked at me and said, “I wanna go with you!” His energy reached out to me and was familiar. I wanted to take him with me but knew I could not.

I did not have time to answer him. In one big swoosh of energy I felt to be carried by a wave of energy back into my physical body.

Guidance: Pranayama 

Once back in my body, the vibrations were still present but faded off as soon as I thought of projecting again. Not disappointed, I checked the time feeling certain it must have been over an hour since meditating and projecting. But it was only 6:14am.

I asked my guides why I was able to project. Their answer, “You set the intention. You wanted to.” lol It is true. Prior to bed I took B6 just in case it might help me to project. The intention had been there ever since the previous day, when for months now I have really had no interest.

This does not negate what was told to me about the astral realms. They are collapsing in on one another. I questioned this yesterday and the answer was that projection can and does occur but is only sustainable by those able to keep their vibrations high and stable. The astral body has a reactive tendency similar to the physical body, which makes it harder to stabilize. The mental body, however, is not as reactive.

I was told that in order to drop my astral body, I must work on my energy body. Attempting to project when my energy body was not adequately energized results in a loss of vibration early in the projection. This is what happened yesterday morning. This morning, however, my energy was higher and so upon exit there was not darkness and my energy was light and flowing (despite the sticky exit).

So how to I adequately energize my energy  body? They said one word, “Pranayama.” Instantly, memory came to me of my Kundalini Yoga practice and the Breath of Fire.

I was encouraged to try two things then:

1. Circulate my energy very rapidly from my feet up to my crown and down to my feet. I was shown what this looked like when done. It appeared like a strobe light, flashing brightly as it hit certain chakras (heart, solar plexus and root).

2. Take deep, long breaths.

So I did as instructed while laying on my back. As I circulated my energy, I was asked to focus on areas where the energy was less present. I noticed my feet were a problem area. As soon as I noticed this my feet began to buzz with intense energy. Then my throat was another sticking point and focusing on it made my entire body jump. lol That was a shocker.

When I stopped circulating the energy, I continued deep breathing and within moments I was in the trance-state and my body seemed hit by an energy wave that entered via my lower pelvic region. I was able to maintain the energy for quite some time and began to get hypnagogic imagery and hear noises-off again.

Surprised that I had brought this all on so quickly (I was wide awake by now) I brought myself out of the trance-state by moving my hand. My feet still felt off but I was told the more I circulated my energy the less this area would trap energy.

Very cool!

 

 

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Taco Woman: Etheric Experience

After waking at 5:30am from a very eventful night, I tried to return to sleep. My guidance was close and I suspected I would not get anymore sleep because my energy was unusually high.

At some point I became acutely aware of music playing to my right. It was not music I recognized but it was loud and enjoyable so I tuned into it despite knowing this was part of the trance state. The words are lost to me now, but at the time the voice of the lady singing sounded familiar, like Natalie Merchant (10,000 Maniacs) but she was singing with another woman and their voices blended perfectly.

Sensing the subtle vibrations that indicated I could exit my body, I contemplated rolling out of my physical body and attempting an OBE. There was a distinct feeling at this time that said to me, “You know better.” So, I decided not to attempt an exit and just linger in the energies which encapsulated my entire physical body.

At some point my astral vision turned on. All that was visible was a shifty, black and white atmosphere of energy. This is indicative of the etheric which is the closest plane of existence to that of the physical. Usually it is an exact duplicate of the physical plane but in my experience this is not always the case. What I know for sure at this point from my experiences in this shifty, heavy energy zone, is that I am still very much connected to my physical body and something about this connection limits my perceptions and ability to move about. It is only when I shift into one of my other bodies that I can escape the heaviness of the etheric and enter the astral plane. This article gives an accurate description of the etheric body and explains what I experienced this morning. I believe it is also offers a great explanation on my experiences in the in-between.

As I lay in my bed observing the etheric plane all around me, a part of my consciousness detached from my physical body and moved around. I never went very far and I never felt the energy indicative of exiting my physical body. Yet I was able to experience the etheric in much the same way as I would have if I had been OOB. In hindsight, this is fascinating to me because it was so very obvious that I have been doing this throughout my entire spiritual journey and had never been witness to the specifics steps involved.

I saw that superimposed over the top of my bedroom was another room. This is the room I had entered and where the music, now silent, was playing. There was a large table in the center. It looked like a table one would find inside a restaurant kitchen – metal and quite high and about eight feet by six feet, maybe bigger. There were two woman bustling about. They were going through a refrigerator located at the far end of the room. I never saw it but I perceived it. One by one they pulled out empty containers from the fridge and put them on the table. They were discussing a need to replenish supplies as they did this. One woman put a large jug of orange juice on the table and there was an exclamation from one of the ladies but I don’t know the exact words other than to know she was pleased to have found the orange juice.

At this point I moved across to one of the ladies who was in the process of walking around the table. I reached out and touched her shoulder. I remember wondering if it would be solid. It was. I could feel her. Apparently she felt me, too, because she stopped suddenly, her eyes quite wide. I attempted to hug her and she pulled away. She said to me, “You can’t see me.”  I said to her, “I can see you well enough.” I remember trying to focus on her and was able to get a good glimpse of her overall features. She was shorter than me, about 5ft tall, wearing a light colored blouse and blue jeans. She had long, black hair and her skin tone was medium. Her body shape was very round and squat. I knew she was Hispanic.

She was very uncomfortable but remained there, never quite looking at me directly but instead straight through me. I asked her who she was and why she was in my bedroom. She didn’t seem to notice my room but she said to me, “Your husband buys tacos from me.” She then said something about being curious about him.

During this time I could feel the energy shift and the familiar feel of losing my firm connection to the etheric. It feels like a whirlwind of energy sucking me back into the physical. I remember thinking to myself as the woman spoke to me, “I need to look at my hands or say ‘clarity now'”. I did neither. Apparently just thinking about controlling the energy kept me from shifting back to my body awareness.

I apologized to her and let her resume her activities. I then turned to the other woman and asked her who she was. She was less apprehensive and her energy was more accepting. Unfortunately my son yelled from downstairs and I came back to awareness in my body before I could talk to her.

Considerations

Upon waking up in my body I wondered about this strange etheric experience. Were these woman real but in some other location that I somehow traveled to? Did my husband really know this woman? Was she dead or alive? Why was I allowed to go into the etheric but I could not astral project?

One of my guides was near and explained to me that I could not go far from my body right now because my Light would attract unwanted attention. I wondered aloud to him, “What do I look like? Am I really that bright?” He showed me what looked like a blue and purple flame. I recognized it. I had seen another who looked like that in one of my OBEs. I had been extremely attracted to that “flame”. It is so beautiful!

I wondered how the women perceive me. Did they see a blue/purple flame? I was then shown how they perceived me. I looked like a brilliant white and silver energy in body form, ever-shifting and fluctuating. Woah.

He explained that I was only allowed to travel to the higher realms now – the astral and lower planes were off limits. I wondered how I got to these higher levels. He told me They brought me to them, bypassing the lower planes/levels.

Later, during breakfast, I asked my husband about “Taco Woman”. He told me a woman matching her description often came by his work to sell tamales and other food during lunch. He buys tamales mostly. lol She speaks English but he usually talks to her in Spanish (he is fluent).