Last night and this morning was very eventful. I did not see it coming either. I have been experiencing such calm and balance that I assumed I would have blissful, uneventful sleep.
Dead Baby
I awoke at 4am sharp in tears. The dream is not all very clear to me now except for the end, so I will recount it and hope it starts to make sense at some level.
I was very aware of being part of a trio of people. I was one of two women. We had been living together alone for some time, me, my lover and her son. My lover’s husband had been deployed and gone for a long time. She did not think she would ever see him again.
Then one day, to our surprise, my lover’s husband returned. When he arrived he was surprised to find his wife with a roommate who he later discovered was his substitute. Interestingly, he was not upset and just joined us, joking we were his “two wives”.
It took a while for him to accept me, but he eventually did. He began to sleep in the same bed as us and even attempted to touch me and cuddle with me. I recall worrying about him and sensing he was not really sure about all of us being together. Three’s a crowd, you know.
I remember talking to the husband and telling him I that I will not blame him if he leaves, but he refuses to admit he is uncomfortable with the situation. We all get to know each other after that and I show them my ability: I can fly. I hover over the ground and show them how I do it. I point to my chest/heart area and explain it is all in the “heart”. I am able to hover about and they are extremely interesting in watching, but I do not recall them ever doing it themselves.
We somehow end up at a water park and they ask me to show them and others my ability. We are at this huge waterfall/slide. It is at least a half mile wide and this sparkling, aqua-clear blue. I hover over the water for a time but when I fly over the edge the water takes me down with it and at the end I am wet but unharmed.
The time shifts and I feel as if years had passed. The husband is showing signs of discomfort at his situation. His son, who I later found out was not his real son but step-son, is taking much of our and his time. I remember him saying, “I cannot take this anymore. I did not sign up for this”. At the time I am pregnant with his child.
Fast forward again and the baby is about to be born, but I am now an observer. As the baby is born and laid out, it is discovered that he has something in his brain. The doctor finds a hemangeoma but it is located in the neck and says the baby will be fine. The husband and woman are relieved. I now enter the scene and tell the husband it is okay for him to feel overwhelmed, that I understand if he wants to leave. We hug. When we hug, one of us hits the bed the baby is on and he falls to the floor. When he falls, he hits his head and instantly dies. His head is flattened in the dream and very disfigured. I feel awful and say, “It’s my fault” and watch as the mother picks him up and cries. I then see the ultrasound photos of him and begin to cry. I wake up in tears.
Stay With Me
I ran to check on my son because of the disturbing dream but he was fine and breathing normally. I have been worried about him suffocating in his sleep for a while now because he keeps getting colds, so any dream that suggests he may be in danger causes me to worry.
I went back to bed and tossed and turned for some time. My guide was close and I kept hearing the song “Stay With Me”, by Sam Smith. It is not a song I particularly like but it seems songs are one of the main ways my guides communicate with me and the song keeps coming until I hear the message.
My gut reaction to this song and the dream is that I am struggling to move forward with what has been going on with me both consciously and subconsciously.
Consciously, my guide has been asking me to decide what I want so that I can move forward. Oddly, I am unable to decide what I want to do with my life other than recognizing I want to feel peace and calm. Subconsciously, I am told I am shifting awareness and that it is creating an internal struggle. I am told this is normal and part of the process and to be patient with myself for my Ego is not easily swayed.
The dream symbols here are quite obvious to me. A baby is a new idea or path/direction. In this dream the baby is found to have a growth which suggests there may be a flaw in this path, but not one that will cause significant problems. However, the baby dies and I admit it is my fault. This suggests that I am taking responsibility for a new goal/path not coming to fruition. Perhaps I am also considering dropping this path altogether?
The waterfall is significant of emotion and since it is clear it is not muddled emotion, but clear, recognizable and confrontable emotion. The water fall is vast, suggesting there is much emotion to clear and that it may result of a drastic shift for me, as per the waterfall part. I attempt to fly above the water, avoiding it, but am swept up in it suggesting I cannot avoid this shift.
The discussion with the man in the dream seems to be a discussion I am having with myself about the feelings of overwhelm I have been having associated with my role in the family. I tell him it is okay to feel the way he feels and that I will understand if he chooses to leave. Perhaps I am accepting this part of myself? It sure felt that way considering the emotional effect it had on me both in the dream and upon waking.
Yesterday was a good day. I spent most of the day with my husband. The children were with my mother-in-law. I enjoyed every minute of my freedom.
Driving Test
I went to bed feeling very relaxed and balanced. For once I was in a good mood and I felt good, too! I did yoga and then mediated for quite some time before drifting to sleep.
I dreamed I was going to take a driving test. It had been five years and it was time to recertify that I knew the rules for driving. I remember feeling ill prepared. I had not studied. I sat down at a desk next to a girl I went to high school with. “Why is she here?” I thought. The woman who was teaching the class asked us if we were ready and did a quick review. I remember having notes and looking them over. I was reading long lists of things I had to remember. I saw entire sections, one said Section M1. I remember thinking the questions were unfair, asking me to recall details that were not important to driving.
I got out my pencil and noticed it needed sharpening. I informed the teacher who sent a student to another class to sharpen it for me. I then looked through my bag and found I had a brand new pencil in there. I showed the teacher, apologized and then got up to sharpen it myself. When I was done, I sat down and looked through my notes some more. There was a section in it that was talking about the changes happening in the world. I remember finding it interesting because it was exactly what was happening to me! I saw information about the chakras and energy and how it was important to be balanced during this time. I read eagerly but I ran into a section where my writing was unintelligible. It exasperated me and I began to furiously look for anything else about where to find this important information. I saw the page number – 643. I knew it came from the manual we used for class, the very class I was about to take a test in! I remember looking for the manual but not being able to find it. All I had were copious amounts of handwritten notes and I had not reviewed them! I needed more time!
The teacher began to hand out the tests. I got mine and became nervous. Everyone else was intently working on theirs as soon as they received it. The teacher told us we had until that evening and then left the room. Seeing I had the freedom to leave and take my test with me, I left the room quickly. I intended to find a place without prying eyes where I could use my notes to take the test. I went directly to the parking lot to find my car.
When I left the room I detoured into a bathroom and suddenly had the idea to hide in a stall to take the test. When I got in I encountered a woman and hid the test and pencil behind my back. When she left I went into a stall but it turned into a cubicle. I looked at the test and noticed the light was too dim to see by. I could not make out the words and what I could make out made no sense! I do recall the first half was analogy problems and there was a sample problem with the answer. I could not figure out how it made any sense and thus could not answer any of the questions. There were also matching questions but I could not read them as there was not enough light.
I finally exited the building and went into the parking lot. It was snowing and icy. I made it to my car and got inside. Again, there was not enough light to see by. Upset by this and noting the day was coming to an end, I began to panic. I began to drive but my car turned into a motorcycle. I flew up the icy roads, revving my engine. At once point it sputtered and I urged it on but knew it was not going to make it much farther.
Somehow I ended up seeing my teachers (there were now two) and other students and saw that the main teacher was allowing them back into the classroom for retakes. I told her I had messed up on my test and needed another one. She smiled and gave me the new test. I sat down to take it and noticed it had the name of another person written on the top but it had been erased. It was still readable and was very large like the handwriting of a child. I don’t recall the name except that it started with an M. I remember feeling nervous about the test still but I was grateful for two things: 1. I was not alone and 2. I was getting another chance.
Interpretation
I believe this dream was symbolic of my feeling that I need to make a decision but not wanting to. The driving test is representative of my goals or aspirations being put to the test. Questions are being asked about what I want to do with my future. Sharpening a pencil symbolizes the need to be more flexible in my way of thinking and to listen more. Driving a motorcycle symbolizes a desire for freedom and adventure as well as a desire to escape something. In the dream I push the motorcycle to its breaking point indicating that I have recognized that my avoidance has gone on too long. Finally, driving in snow suggests I need to be careful about how I approach my goals.
Flower Car
I then dreamed I was back working at my old, hated job. I found out that it had been taken over by the local police department. As a result, all of the previous staff had been let go. I inquired about my previous boss and was told he no longer worked there. I was surprised about all of this and for a moment was happy and then I felt bad for them. I knew they would have all taken it hard as they did not want to change and had stayed there because it was easier than creating the change they needed.
I was introduced to several young people who were students. Then I went into a room that was devoid of furniture and the person with me laughed at me for going in there. One student, a young black girl, came in and sat down at a desk. She was brought a computer and I asked her if she knew how to use it. She nodded that she did and I sat with her to help her. She struggled with writing and said she felt overwhelmed about writing more than 33 words which was what was required of the assignments. I showed her how to rewrite the question as part of her answer and take up words that way. She listened.
Then all of a sudden there were more students. They began to sing their assignments and danced about. I was interested and got into it, thinking, “What a great idea!” I felt happy for the students. They were finally making learning fun!
When the music stopped I remember being told that learning that way was not allowed. That the students would get carried away if allowed to have fun and that they must not be allowed to do that because they will do bad things. I saw this possibility and agreed to not let them do it anymore. I felt subdued.
I was then told the new boss was coming. He arrived and I was glad to see it was not my old boss. I remember telling them I hated my old boss, but in my head I could not get a clear memory of him as two different faces blurred and blended in my mind. I think I got the other bosses confused with this new one and so backed away from him. He was tall and blonde and quite good looking but I stayed away from him.
A young woman with long, straight black hair came toward me and we began to talk. She had such love about her and I was instantly drawn to her. She and I got along well and she helped me and listened to me. We sat down along the side of the road looking at a valley with a river flowing through it. The grass was green and it was a lovely, quiet and relaxing place. She put her hand in mine and asked me if I wanted to be with her. I did. I knew she liked women and that I did not, but that is not what caused me to feel disappointed. I turned to her and told her, “I would, but I have to tell you that I am married”. She understood and kept holding my hand. I put my head on her shoulder and just sat there with her. As I did, I saw a car drive by and its roof was covered with flowers. I looked closer and saw they were each in tiny pots and I remember saying, “I want a car like that”.
Flower Car
This dream seemed mostly to symbolize me coming to terms with my past. I return to my old job to find that all the past participants in such a stressful period of my life have gone. They are replaced with others who are more accepting but they still insist that the students will be “bad” if allowed to go out of control and have too much fun. I must have a belief that “fun” leads to bad things. The 33 is significant in that it represents high potential and spiritual awareness. The lesbian I meet represents an aspect of myself that I want to be reunited with. She represents self-love and self-acceptance. Finally, the flowers on the car symbolize perfection and spirituality. When I say I want that car, I am saying that is what I want for my life as cars symbolize life paths.
Considerations
I remain in a state of calm and balance today. I feel rested and well. I cannot stop thinking about how my dreams are suggesting I make a change in my life. I am not sure what this change should be and I realize a part of me fears failure and so I stay with what I know I will succeed at. I struggle to come to a decision about what I want. I seem to want nothing other than to feel the way I felt in that last dream.
I had a very unusual dream experience last night. It was one of those dreams that continued even after I would awaken. I woke multiple times and when I returned to sleep the dream would continue.
Left Behind
I was awakened at 2am by my baby and tended to him for about a half hour or so. When I returned to bed I was irritated but managed to fall asleep after about a half hour of tossing and turning.
I fell into a dream of being on a school trip. I felt myself to be young, probably mid-teens and the trip appeared to be at a zoo or some similar outdoor themed park. I don’t recall much of the trip itself. It is the end that is the most vivid.
It had rained while we were preparing to leave and had stopped as we entered the parking lot where the bus and individual chaperone’s cars were parked. I had ridden with a couple of older ladies rather than take the bus so was heading toward their car being careful to avoid puddles of water when I suddenly realized I was not wearing shoes. I thought, “I forgot my shoes!” I turned and began to head back to the park but only got half way because I saw that the parking lots was clearing out really fast. Suddenly concerned I may miss my ride, I ran back where I had been calling out to the women as I did. When I got to the place I had been previous the parking lot was almost completely empty. There was a few cars scattered here and there but there were none from my group.
I looked around suddenly aware that I was very much alone. I felt a myriad of emotions – fear, upset, nervousness, anxiety, abandonment, hurt. I scanned the parking lot for familiar faces and saw none. Then I looked for my phone in my purse, hoping to call and get them to turn around and get me. But it wasn’t there. I had left it in the car. My heart sunk. I knew they would probably assume I got in the bus or went with the other chaperones, so not miss me and just continue on home. I felt completely helpless and began to pace the parking lot.
I got the idea to ask one of the few remaining people if I could borrow their phone. A man let me borrow his. It looked identical to mine. When I began to try and use it, though, I could not figure out how. I tried typing in the number of my own cell and found the keys were in hand written form and when I punched in the numbers they came out all wrong. The owner of the cell finally asked me if he could type them in for me and so he did as I told him my number.
The phone rang but no one picked up. I left a message and waited.
I was there so long that the parking lot became empty and no people remained. The only light was at the corner of the lot near a side street. The rest of the area was very dark and though I was not afraid of the dark, I lingered near the light because that was where I would most easily be seen.
After hours of waiting and enduring massive amounts of anxiety and “what if’s”, I finally saw the old beat up brown station wagon pull up. The two women were inside and said, “There you are. Get in”. I got in but yelled at them saying, “How could you leave me! Did you get all the way home before you realized I was left here?” The driver said, “Yes. We thought you were in the other bus”. I sat in the back and sulked, finally allowing myself to calm down and feel relief. I remember finally feeling like I was safe but worrying how long that safe feeling would last.
Kidnapped
I awoke crying and upset over the dream. I had awakened a couple of times during it and it kept coming back. I finally asked to not have that happen again. Unfortunately, I ended up in another, similarly upsetting dream sequence.
I was walking from my old childhood school to another nearby school. I was an adult and had returned to the school as a teacher and was reliving memories as I walked from one familiar place to another.
I came to a school that was built into a mountainside. It was very cool looking and I was instantly interested. I went inside and ran into the principal there. She and I spoke and she asked me about myself. When I told her I was a teacher she began to try and sell the school to me and eventually told me the salary, how to apply and the days worked. I remember she showed me that I had no vacations. I had to work every day of the year and get paid the same amount as I already made. I was instantly not interested, thanked her and left.
I wandered near a bakery by the cafeteria. A couple of plump ladies were making breads and asked me if I wanted to help them with the last ten. I helped by rolling the rolls in powdered sugar and talked with the ladies and another woman helper.
Out of the blue, a man came in and locked all the doors. He then took me and the other lady prisoner. For some reason my husband was there and taken prisoner, too. He then decided he would rape me in front of my husband. I don’t recall the actual rape but I remember being embarrassed that my husband had to watch and feeling sorry for him. He then targeted another person, a small child of about 8 years old. I remember feeling I was 14 years old at the time and being very protective of her. I put my whole body over her to shield her and he left her alone.
We were trapped for a long time but I managed to escape when a maid unlocked the door and left it that way. My husband followed as did the other woman (who had been the child before). During this part of the dream I continued to awaken and return to sleep, each time having another portion of the escape play out in my dreams. We hijacked a school bus, crawled through snow and even had a flat tire at a truck stop all to avoid this man who was hunting us.
Reflection
I awoke feeling a bit overwhelmed by my dreams. Not only does the first dream suggest I am struggling with feelings of aloneness and isolation but it seems I am also struggling with some other fears. The second dreams is symbolic of feeling forced into a corner, one that is unfair and unwanted. It also symbolizes how I have been trying to escape the uncontrollable situation: by running. Throughout the dream I feel pursued by a man who wants to do me harm and imprison me. He didn’t catch me in the dream but he did keep catching up to me and I never could get far enough ahead of him to feel at ease.
I keep hearing a song in my head. It’s Flaws by Bastille. The main part of the song that keeps repeating in my head is, “Let’s finish what we started”. It has been going over and over in my head and driving me a bit nutty. The message seems clear: Stop running from yourself and let’s finish what we started.
Yesterday was a long day. We spent most of the day at my Mom’s for Thanksgiving and then went directly to the church to have another Thanksgiving there. We did not get home until late and then I could not fall asleep. I must have had too much caffeine. I drank mostly iced tea the entire day.
I felt my guide close and also sensed quite a few more in Spirit, about 9 total. I felt I needed to meditate and so I did, trying to quiet my mind. However, as soon as I would get to a quieted mind my guide would become more noticeable. Finally, I just listened to him rather than try to quiet my mind.
In my mind I saw a hand extended to me and felt I should take it. I reached out with my own mental hand and took it. When I did, I felt a surge in my heart chakra that lingered and expanded. It did not fill me up with the usual intensely, wonderful feeling, though. Instead, it felt blocked and dulled. I then began to feel an energy in my feet and legs. It was heavy and tingly. When I felt it, I instinctively began to urge it upward, slowly. I felt the energy slowly move up into my solar plexus and then into my heart but I could not get it to extend any higher up. I was able to get some energy to move up, but only small amounts. I knew this meant I had too many blockages.
I spent some time doing self-healing. I don’t know how long I spent, but eventually I must have begun to doze off because I suddenly had a vision of my baby struggling to breathe. It woke me suddenly and I flew out of bed. I checked on my baby and he was fine but I was wide awake and on mommy alert. Why did I get such a vision? Was this a warning that the “test” I have been dreaming of will be that I lose my baby to SIDS?
I could not go to sleep after that. I was a ball of worry and suddenly became super aware of how my body was feeling. I could not breathe out of one nostril and the other one was so dry it hurt to breathe. I also had a headache. I noted the time and it was midnight.
Continued Energy Work During Dreamtime
I slept fitfully and had odd dreams, most of which I cannot remember fully. I do recall dreaming of a friend from high school who I use to work with as waitress. She was being asked to go with two women. They appeared to be making sexual advances upon her at first but when I studied them closer, I realized they just wanted to have her company as a friend. I urged her to go with the woman even though she was very afraid for some reason. She left with them, looking back at me and I was filled with huge amounts of sympathy and could feel my heart chakra radiating energy out toward her.
In another dream I do not fully recall, I was driving a car down a road with high, white sides. It reminded me a tunnel without a top. I watched as a man in uniform slowly removed orange and white cones from a section of the road ahead of me. The section had two off-shoots, one to the right and another to the left. The left side had been opened up but the man was still removing the cones from the right.
As I approached I put on my brakes when I saw that the right tunnel had not been cleared of cones. I stopped completely and another person in a white sedan who I knew had been following me barreled through the right side, tossing the cones and then flying high up into the air. Her car collided with the concrete of a nearby building. When I looked up, I noticed the car had changed to a motorcycle. It was completely totaled but my friend was unharmed. When I approached her and asked if she was ok, she said she was and then said she had to get out of there before they found her out. Then her motorcycle was miraculously repaired and I jumped on and drove it down stairs. The stairs turned to slides and I followed them down for what seemed like forever.
I awoke at that point and could still feel the energy lingering in my heart chakra.
Madonna – Lucid Dream to OBE
I fell back to sleep for some time and then awoke at 6am. My kids were up and noisy and I could not fall back to sleep. I put a pillow over my head and tried to sleep. I stated mentally, “I want to go OOB”.
The next thing I remember was sitting in a chair next to my bed. I heard music and a woman was next to me and then seemed to be all around me. It was dark and I could only see shadows of varying shades of gray. I sensed the woman more than I saw her and recognized that she was tapping headphones that were on my head. The music sounded like dance music and the beat was unfamiliar. The woman asked me, “Do you know this song?” I recognized her then as Madonna and I told her, “No. Sorry”.
I heard the music continue to play and recognized some of the words but most are lost to me now. The song was not one I had ever heard but I do recall hearing the word “star”. The Madonna woman then asked me, “Do you like my music?” I said, “I don’t usually listen to your kind of music but I am starting to”.
Then I was out of the chair and the “Madonna” woman was in the chair. I was trying to see her more clearly but could not make out her face. She reached out to me and pulled me toward her and I sensed a sexual inquiry from her. I let her pull me close and hug me. I recall seeing her neck and noticing she was wearing earrings and a necklace. I looked at the necklace while she attempted to encourage me to kiss her. I did kiss her but something felt very wrong about it. It was then I knew I was dreaming and that I did not want this to for myself. I pulled away from her.
Now completely “awake” within my dream, I felt the woman’s presence change. It was still dark but I turned around to look and see who had replaced her as the energy felt masculine. I saw a man in her place and his energy suggested he wanted me to have sex with him. He came towards me and I let him get close enough to touch me. I looked at his face and saw his features were angular and he had blondish hair that was cut short. He reminded me of someone but I did not know who. He did not say anything to me but I could feel his intentions. They felt odd to me, like he was hiding something of his intentions and I knew quickly that he was a sexual deviant of some kind and that he was not someone I wanted to be around.
At that time I also recognized I was standing right next to my slumbering physical body. I was so close that I could feel the pull of it and I kept thinking I needed to get away from it. The man continued to will me toward him but I did not like the way he felt and wanted nothing to do with him. I decided at that point to get away from my slumbering body and the man so I went to the bedroom door. I tried to open it but found that the doorknob was on the wrong side of the door. It took me a while to realize this but when I did, I opened the door, went out and down the stairs. I could feel the man behind me and a part of me looked behind me while another saw straight in front of me (I think this is the 360 degree vision people speak of having in astral). I moved so swiftly that I do not recall seeing the stairs at all. I just recall being downstairs and seeing my two oldest children watching television.
I went out the front door and down several steps. These steps are not there in real life so I am not sure what house I was in, but it was not mine. I stopped in my tracks when I was confronted with a completely different place than I expected. The residential street I assumed I would be on was replaced with a very urban street lined with brightly lit up buildings that stretched for miles in both directions. The place was familiar and I knew far to the right was a tall, silver building that towered above all the others. The sky was clear and I could see thousands of stars spread out in front of me. It was as if the sky went on forever! The air was crisp and my vision was crystal clear despite it being dark. I was overcome with awe as I took it all in.
I instantly wanted to stay there as long as I could and so looked down at my hands to try and increase my awareness. I looked down not knowing what to expect after finding gloved hands in my last OBE. I only saw my hands, just as they appear in real life. There wasn’t even any glow to them. I found this peculiar but did not let it bother me.
My vision remained crisp and I took note of how real and solid everything felt. Had I not known I was OOB I would have thought I was awake! I looked from my hands to a large building across the street. It looked like a very pricy, old hotel from another era. It was lit up with yellowish lighting and was a spectacular sight. I wanted instantly to explore it.
As soon as I set the intention to fly over to explore the building I felt my conscious energy coalesce into a mental ball. I did not feel my astral form at all. It was as if all of my consciousness was a mass of energy. The mental me was pulled upward as if through a siphon and there was a force that built up as my consciousness rose up. I had no control of this it seemed and went quickly upward and then into my sleeping body. I did not even feel the familiar settling of energy like normal. I was just instantly back in my body and fully aware.
Considerations
Upon waking I had a headache and was very thirsty. I also felt like I had been sleeping in a bad position as my lower body was stiff. I began to think of the short OBE I had an how weird it was. I thought about not writing it down because it seemed so boring but I thought perhaps I should focus on how lucid I felt and the senses I was able to utilize.
My perceptions are mostly limited when I am OBE. I usually have vision, sometimes clear sometimes not so clear. I also often can feel others and objects without a problems. Taste is also not usually an issue but is not often used unless I am eating something. Hearing is almost nonexistent. I hear most everything in my mind. External noise is a consciousness trigger for me and usually pulls me back into my physical body quite quickly. I have heard some amazing things OOB but it has been a long while. The music I heard in this experience was muted but I did hear it. I do not recall using my sense of smell often, but I have smelled things. For example, in one OBE I smelled the rain and felt it as it hit my body. I also heard it as it came down, a quiet trickling sound. This was one of my OBEs where every one of my senses was utilized. I would have given it a 10 on lucidity.
I recognize that this OBE was one of the few where I was quite lucid and was increasing in awareness very quickly. I believe this happened too quickly which is why I came back into my body the way I did. I was super aware of my energy and how it moved and then it was as if no transition at all occurred when I reentered my body. I was simply “awake”.
The recognition of myself as energy rather than a body was also interesting to me. I have only felt the “siphoning” feeling once and it scared me. In that experience I was sleeping when suddenly I was awakening by feeling my consciousness being siphoned upward and out of my body. I felt like liquid energy dripping upward and out of my body. I recall thinking I was dying and freaking out. I have never felt that again until this morning’s experience but this one was in the opposite direction, back into my body.
Factors Influencing Projection
Lucidity scale: 5 increasing to 8
Intent stated?: Yes
Time to bed: Midnight
Time to wake: 4:00am; 6:00am, 8:00am
Meditation?: Yes
Physical Exercise?: None
Mood: normal
Body: headache
Tiredness: Low
Number of wakings: 3
Technique?: No
Sleeping position: Left side
Supplements: Multivitamin, Mineral supplement, Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Benadryl 25mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg
Before I go into detail on my morning’s excursion, I want to talk a bit about my day yesterday. My youngest (he’s almost 8 months now) has been going through a clingy, whiny stage for about a month now. Yesterday was probably the worst so far. I could not get anything done without having to endure wails of agony from my son. He also refused to take a nap and would not eat. I assume he is teething but there is no tooth or even swelling of the gums and one would think after a month of this a tooth would appear if it were teething! I spent most of the day catering to his needs. In between that I also had to cater to my older two children while fighting bouts of frustration and a feeling of overwhelm that kept rising up into my throat almost choking me.
Finally, after an entire day of enduring screaming and whimpering I took my baby to a room away from his siblings for some mommy time. He instantly cheered up, roaming around and playing but always coming back to mommy. I got out a book and read to him and he became elated, jumping up almost to standing and clapping his hands. He was so happy that later, when we ate dinner, he ate so much food I thought he would burst.
As the evening came to a close, my little baby settled down quietly and fell asleep earlier than usual, allowing me and my husband some alone time which was much needed. We ended up having some good conversations and for a very nice end to the day.
When I went to bed I did some yoga and read a bit of a book. I then set my intention: “I want to find my core self and continue whatever healing that has been started”. I did not set an intention to astral as I really did not have interest in it.
False Awakening
I awoke once at around midnight and then resumed sleep without incident.
I heard my baby crying very loudly for what seemed to be a long time. I ignored the screams and covered my head with a pillow, hoping my husband would take care of it. The screams continued for a while and then I heard the door open. I heard my husband come in and felt him set the baby on the bed. The baby continued to scream and my husband said to me, “You deal with him” and left the room. I sat up and grabbed the baby and had many thoughts hit me at once. I was so tired and just wanted to sleep and wanted to yell at my husband to come get the baby. I thought about doing this but felt conflicted because I knew my husband was frustrated and that I needed to take over.
I felt hazy at this time and struggled to understand what was going on. Part of me knew I was sleeping but the other part was sure I was awake.
I opened my eyes and heard my baby crying. I suddenly realized I had been dreaming and that none of the incident with my husband had even occurred. I suddenly became very concerned and got up to check on them. I found my husband soothing the baby downstairs and I let him be, sending him the thought, “Well done”. I noticed it was 5:50am, so I went back to bed.
Too Many Children
I could not go back to sleep at first. I was really cold and could not seem to get warm. I also kept hearing everything that was going on in the house. All my children soon got up and I heard the pitter patter of tiny feet along with talking (my oldest seems always to yell when she talks). I got irritated and began to curse my life silently to myself. I remember thinking, “I wish I had never had children. I wish I had never started this life”. Then I rolled over, put a pillow over my head and tried to sleep. I set an intention, “I want to go OOB”.
The next thing I remember is being outside with a group of people, most of them children. A story was played out in front of my eyes. It only lasted a second, like it had instantly been downloaded into my mind. I knew that a couple had started a family and had child after child very quickly. They had five children, the youngest just a baby. I saw in front of me these children and the couple. There were twin girls standing in front of me and a woman who was taking care of the baby.
I was semi-lucid as I heard myself talking with a woman while watching the scene in front of me. I saw the baby up close and knew he was a vampire baby. I shuddered at the thought. The woman taking care of him was not doing a good job and the next time I saw the baby he had become thin and gaunt and very close to death. The woman taking care of him was not concerned. I remembering thinking the baby was only half human.
The conversation in my mind continued. She recounted the story of the family, saying they got married quickly and jumped right into having child after child without giving themselves much time to bond with one another. I recognized this story as my own and remember saying to her, “I chose that adventure”, instantly recognizing that I was seeking adventure in life and grabbed onto an “acceptable” adventure which was getting married and having children. I did this without thinking of the long-term consequences and now I was stuck in the “adventure” and it was not so much fun.
Again the carriage with the baby came into my vision. I peered into it, assuming I would see a skeleton baby since he was surely almost dead the last time I saw him. I even envisioned the skeleton to prepare myself for the horror of it. Instead I saw only a blanket, no baby. I inquired where he was and the woman said, “Over there” and I looked and saw a plump little blond boy crawling around on top of a changing table. I asked, “He was almost dead the last time I saw him!” The woman replied, “That was his old caregiver. She neglected him a lot. He is fine now”. I saw the boy’s rosy cheeks and smile and wondered about him. The woman said, “He has a lot of energy”. I watched as the boy scooted to the side of the table and wiggled around. He did have a lot of energy. I was then aware that this baby needed a lot of attention and needed patience and help so he could learn to channel the energy properly.
Alaska – OBE
Something about the dream conversation shifted my awareness and the scene instantly changed to a new one. I found myself inside a house. The lights were out but I could make out the furniture and surroundings. It was a nice place and very cold. I was standing in the kitchen and could see the silhouette of sliding glass doors to my right. Moonlight poured through the window and illuminated the kitchen bar in front of me.
I was in the middle of another conversation with an invisible woman. Lost inside my mind, I talked to her until her voice was gone and I was talking to myself. I was rejecting the idea of my current “adventure”, mad at myself for taking on so much. One part of me was the voice of reason, the other part (the me in the dream) was the stubborn child.
Suddenly an idea came to me that I should look at buying a house. It was in Alaska and I got very upset by this. I looked down and saw I was holding a real estate brochure for a home. I glanced at it and saw it was a very nice house and a part of me was interested in buying it. I remember saying, “No! I don’t want to buy a house! I don’t want to live in Alaska!” I closed the brochure but my interest was peaked and I began to think about living in Alaska. I thought of the long winters and balked at the prospect of driving on icy roads again. I rejected that part. Then I thought, “I want to lay in the sun” and thought of going outside in the sun and then remembered I couldn’t do that in Alaska. I remembered when I lived there. The isolation. The darkness. I didn’t want that. Then I remembered I use to go to tanning beds and thought, “I could go to a tanning bed”. I looked at the brochure again and saw the price for the house was $1.5 million but then the price vanished and I couldn’t find it. That was way too much for a house!
Something clicked at this point and I looked at the glass doors and said aloud, “This is a dream”. Instantly aware I was creating all of this, I immediately recognized I was wearing heavy winter clothing. I tore off an imaginary coat and began to rip off what appeared to be a hat and goggles. I then went through the glass doors and outside, still tugging at my imaginary winter garb. I felt shrouded in heavy winter clothing and wanted it off.
Outside the moonlight was still illuminating everything quite well and I saw the yard was surrounded with trees and tall shrubs. The air was crisp and I knew it was still summer. My vision was blurry and I again took off goggles of some kind. My vision instantly cleared and I blinked a few times. I then looked more closely at the shrubbery and thought, “I should go that way” but then stopped myself thinking, “I don’t want to go that way” thinking that way meant I would be alone. I instantly wanted to go to the front yard so turned that way. I saw a privacy fence between myself and the front. I had the idea that if I crossed the fence I would find other people and not be alone. I decided to jump the fence and propelled myself upward. I went up quite fast, flying up so high that I worried I would not come down. To my delight, I did a flip mid-air and landed on the other side of the fence. In front of me I saw an open yard dotted with trees but I was still alone and it was still dark. I brought my hands up to look at them as it usually helps me feel more solid but when I brought my hands up instead of seeing glowing hands I saw heavily gloved hands. Disappointed and wondering why the gloves were still there (hadn’t I taken them off?) I decided I would try singing as it seems to always help me gain awareness. I launched myself into the air and began to sing loudly, “Ah ah ah” (like from the Little Mermaid). I began to be pulled upward very fast and I closed my eyes as I sang but my voice kept cracking and I could not get the cracking sound to go away. I kept singing, though, hoping I would escape the place I had been in.
I felt my energy settle back into my sleeping body and opened my eyes.
Beauty in the Dark
When I awoke I was pleased that my intention to astral had worked but I was not pleased that I had seemed to get nowhere in my experience. I also was upset to find myself yet again in Alaska. What did Alaska represent? Being alone. It represented all that I had felt when I had lived there in reality. I had gone in search of adventure but found the adventure was shrouded in loneliness. I had thought I could handle being alone but it had nearly killed me. The new adventure I had sought, having a family, was also shrouded in loneliness, but of a different kind. It was more bearable but I was drowning and felt similar emotions to how I felt when I lived in Alaska. In my OBE I had tried to escape the trap I had put myself in but could not. I felt burdened by a heavy shroud of winter clothing yet I felt cold still. It was very representative of my life and how heavy the burden of it felt. I could not free myself of it and the OBE seemed to indicate trying to escape was not the solution.
As I type this I am reminded of a song I wrote when I was living in Alaska. Back then I had yet to connect with my guide yet I was drawn to write music. I wrote many songs, the lyrics seeming to just flow out of me. I found moments of joy in the mostly sad songs I wrote. One of my favorites was called Beauty in the Dark.
Beauty in the Dark
I understand your sorrow
I understand your pain
I want to see you smile
I want to hold your hand.
And although this place is colder
And darker than where we’ve been
I’ll take you somewhere warmer
Be your light
In the dark.
Chorus
Take the darkness and wrap it around you
And you’ll find beauty in the dark
Don’t let the winds of the arctic prevent you
From searching for your heart
(Alternate ending)
I’ll find a way
I’ll take you there
Find somewhere where you belong.
Can’t you see the colors
Of the Northern Lights
They will offer comfort
In the dead of night.
And as the wind blows memories
Of places and times gone by
My love will be a blanket
Of warmth, of warmth.
Let me kiss the teardrops
From your swollen eyes
There is nothing to fear
It will be alright.
And as the days grow longer
In the Land of the Midnight Sun
Our love will grow much stronger
Lead us on, and on.
Chorus
Look to the bands of color
That paint the northern sky
A canvas filled with wonder
If you would only try.
Chorus (with alternate ending)
I guess I need to find beauty in the dark again.
Lucidity scale: 5
Intent stated?: Yes
Time to bed: 9:30pm
Time to wake: 5:50am; 7:30am
Meditation?: None
Physical Exercise?: Yoga
Mood: normal to low
Body: muscle aches
Tiredness: Moderate
Number of wakings: 2
Technique?: No
Sleeping position: stomach
Supplements: Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Benadryl 25mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg
Since my last OBE I have returned to nights of heavy slumber filled with multitudinous amounts of odd and intricate dreams. I awaken only once and that is in the morning around 6a.m. which is odd for me since I typically wake multiple times throughout the night both because of a new baby and being a light sleeper. I have been nudged by both an inner urge and a gentle inner voice to do Yoga before bed. I have been following this suggestion, doing a succession of poses repeated five times with OM’ing and deep breathing. When I OM I can feel it resonate all the way to my toes and it feels very calming. After yoga, I usually fall asleep quickly.
Growing Wings
The first night of deep slumber I had a dream where I grew wings. The dream was long and drawn out, but I will skip most of the details so as to not bore you. I was with a man who I all of a sudden noticed had large, fairy-like wings coming out of his back. They were vivid, deep green and beautiful. He suggested I had wings, too, and as soon as he did I felt them growing and saw the most beautiful aqua, blue and shimmery silver wings emerge from my back and tower over my head. I was astonished and looked at the man with the green wings who nodded at me with a satisfied smile.
As we walked together through the green grass and talked I immediately noticed a fluffy tail poking out of the grass. I looked closer and saw that it was a squirrel. I immediately knew it was dead and had been killed by the dog, though I saw no dog at the time. I yelled out, “It’s dead!” and then soon forgot about its existence.
In researching the symbolism, I found that having wings symbolizes readiness to throw off limitation and soar to success. A dead squirrel symbolizes letting go of old habits and a willingness to focus on positive relationships and endeavors.
Advanced Learning
Last night I again slept so deeply that I did not wake all night. I had very detailed dreams in which I was near lucid.
The first I recall was set in a very magnificent building that appeared to be a university of some sort. I was in the hallway of a grand building with very high ceilings and grand pillars. It reminded me of an ancient place and did not appear to be a college or university that I have ever attended. It had multiple stories and the stone it was made of was polished to a sheen. I think it was marble or something similar as it was white with cream swirls and had a glassy polished appearance. There were plants in planter boxes along open common areas where students of various ages gathered and studied or socialized. There was one large, circular common area that was in the center of the building. It led to different hallways and high up above were glass atrium windows that covered the entire domed ceiling.
In the beginning of this dream I was late for class and could not remember my schedule. At first I was just going to skip but then felt I should at least try to attend part of the class. I entered a room that I thought was my class and there were not enough desks. I inquired if there was one for me that could be found. A student got up and retrieved two desks and put them in front of me. I moved one in front of his seat and sat down but it did not have a desk in front. I thought about how I could not use it to write upon and requested the other desk. I sat at it and noticed everyone was looking at me. I recall thinking the class was an Algebra II class and there was a test that day.
I left the class and still could not remember my schedule. A man was with me who was trying to show me how to access my schedule. He pulled out this white cylinder and pushed a button on top. It lit up a blue color and a tiny tube popped out and then opened up fan-line. It had blue print on it that had his schedule and information written upon it. I want to say it was a holographic image. I thought I would do the same thing but my cylinder was different. It had multiple cylinders attached to it and when I pushed the button a clear solution came out and went into the smaller cylinders. I recognized it as saline solution and saw that it filled a contact lens case. I knew this was no good and would not help me with my schedule.
I thought I remembered my 3rd period class was Economics. I went through the large atrium towards the elevator. I saw a map on the wall with the different room numbers and names. I located my teacher’s name and saw it was on the 4th floor. I thought that odd and remarked that I thought he was at a higher floor. We got onto the elevator and went to the 4th floor. I located the classroom and went inside.
I knew the class lasted 2 hours and I began to feel antsy. I began talking to a classmate and told him, “I don’t think I need this class. I already took Economics and got an A”. He said, “Really?” Then I remembered I already had a Master’s degree and told him so. He said, “What do you do with that degree?” I said, “I am a counselor”. He asked me, “Oh. How do you like it?” I do not remember my response to that question, though. I remember imagining taking more classes. I said to him, “I don’t need to take any more classes but I know if I do that I will do well. I always do well. I am good at learning”. At this point I remember being very proud that I was good at learning and feeling very confident in this knowledge about myself.
Coming Into Myself
I left the huge university and headed towards an apartment. I would be staying there with some female roommates while I went to school. While I was there I felt very odd and for part of the dream I was in the kitchen with a female friend who was visiting. I was getting very upset because I kept finding things put in the wrong location. For example, I found towels inside the cabinet for pots and pans. I began to complain loudly about it and the friend, who was making a chocolate cake, began to take notice. She stopped me and began to question me about why I was complaining so much. I explained that my husband never put things where they were suppose to go and that it made me super mad. She then suggested that I talk to him and explain the pros to having things go in a specific place rather than yelling at him for putting them in the wrong place. Her suggestion made sense and I calmed down.
I was then in a bedroom and waiting for my husband’s sister. I laid down in bed and felt overcome with a distinct feeling. I knew in the dream that I was allowing myself to come into myself. This continued throughout the remainder of the dream and felt very specific and is hard to describe. It was as if I were two people and I was welcoming another part of me into me. The part I was most aware of (the me as the dreamer) was draped in black. I recall communicating with a black, furry cat with very large eyes and then coming to a place where there were two baby warthogs. As I continued to feel the odd sensation, the mother warthog came and passed right between my legs. I was alarmed at first and thought they were going to be mean. I even saw the hair rise on their backs. Then I saw the family of hairy beasts get together and even petted them. I remember feeling odd at that time, like I was changing.
At the end of this dream I was firmly merged and recognizing it. I began to see differently and had the ability to do things with just a thought. I practiced it on the door and made the door shut with my mind. I remember thinking it was curious and I was a bit scared of this ability.
Then I was being instructed on redecorating the apartment and working on replacing the blue blinds with black drapes. I saw a large refrigerator being brought in. It was packed with soda, bananas, ice cream, chocolate frosting and other such items. I commented on how they were going to make all of us fat with such temptations and I resolved to not touch any of the food in that fridge.
My friend and I walked outside and headed back to the university. At the corner she was acting odd and I realized she was late for something. She said she was late for a workout with a friend. I remember thinking I had to go, too, and liked to workout but then recognized I didn’t really want to go. I let her leave and continued to walk, feeling still very different and wondering where I was going next now that I was “different”. I still felt very out of it, like I had been asleep for a very long time and had just awakened to myself. I continued to try to get my bearings as I awoke.
The Time is at Hand
When I awoke I had a knowing that I needed to make changes to my life. I was not scared of this just feeling I needed to begin to think about what I wanted and where I wanted to go in life. I recognized the first dream about college was related to a previous dream where I had been told testing occurred after vacation, not before. It occurred to me that I was nearing this vacation’s end and that “testing” would soon begin.
My first thought was to scan the internet for schools that would help me utilize my spiritual gifts. I had no idea where to look or what kind of school to look for, though. I quickly abandoned the idea, remembering my failure at previously trying to utilize my spiritual gifts.
The next Idea was to find a different counseling job. I realized I could do this and could start looking now. It was a real possibility that I could acquire a much better position for more pay. This appealed to me but then I remembered that I wanted to have time with my children. Yet part of me was already thinking about this option and how I could utilize my current job to give me experience in certain areas that would make me more appealing to prospective employers. I recalled my desire to be with my kids, though, and began to withdraw from this idea, knowing it was more of the same path I had already been upon for my entire life.
I then returned to the idea of exploring the option of the spiritual path. I recognized that it was not necessary to have a “plan”. I only needed intention. As I contemplate this now, I am aware that if I choose to focus upon my current, already established career, that I will be successful and do well financially but I will not feel complete or fulfilled. That path is clearly visible in my mind. If I choose to go the other route and follow where my heart leads I will feel more fulfilled, though the path is not clear to me at all. There is an unknown here the worries me even though I am confident that my finances will not be harmed. It is clear to me, however, that this unknown path is the better one.
The only way out is through. Though the familiar path leads you to safety, it also continues a perpetual cycle. The path unknown breaks the cycle and leads to possibility. Which one will you choose?
A while ago now, my guide told me that he and I were in the process of “merging”. I never quite understood everything about merging, but I did recognize that it meant that he would no longer be viewed by me as separate from me. For some reason, the idea of merging was scary to me, especially the thought of losing my companion traveler who has always been by my side in this life.
Recently the subject of merging was brought up in my astral projectors FB group by a friend, Jurgen Ziewe, who is a well-known author of books on astral projection and higher consciousness. He is in the process of writing a book about his personal experience of merging with his Higher Self who he calls his “silent companion”. The discussion question that was asked was about spirit guides. Several individuals wanted more information on spirit guides. I responded by saying, “[My guide] is the quiet inner voice that answers questions I pose to myself both during OBE and out. I found mine through meditation.”
This response was that I was actually describing my Higher Self. To that I replied:
That is what a spirit guide is, at least in my understanding. My primary guide tells me often “I am You” and after this experience I asked what the energy I felt was when I hugged him and he said, “It was You”. I have other guides who he refers to as Assistants. I do not really concern myself with them, though I see them in my dreams as well, especially a female one with an M name. Some say we have a separate guide and I am bit confused as to if this is true since I am regularly told we are all One and separateness is an illusion. I suppose then that the name “guide” is confusing because of this illusion of separateness. From the way my guide feels, he has been with me always and always will be. He is an aspect of myself who Remembers all that Is while I am the aspect that has chosen to Forget. I wish I could remember the story he told me about those who Remember and those who Forget, but it makes so much sense and explains the separateness that we on Earth have chosen for ourselves.
That is when I got the great explanation about merging and what it means from Jurgen:
Yes Dayna, the “guide” feels like a separate presence and it is easy to consider it as such and of course there are no guarantees that they are not separate, which can make it all a bit more complicated. The golden man in your experience could be a manifestation, but If there are guides we perceive as separate and they actually are separate they only serve one purpose, to connect you ultimately to your higher self. I always referred to this awareness of “not being alone”, of this presence in my life, as my “Silent Companion”.
I had a guide before I became aware of this permanent presence in my life. I first came into contact with him, whom I regarded as “my teacher” during an OBE. He was most definitely a separate entity, with his own history, raucous character, attitude, a chap I recognized as a very old friend. He poked fun at me and played games, but always with a lesson attached. He then came to me regularly for several months and put me through a training program, which allowed me later to enter much higher dimensional levels.
That was before my so called “silent companion” showed up, when this happened he no longer featured. Though on occasion other people showed up during OBEs, who took me to places and showed me various things. One of them identified himself as Phil, with a completely different personality to the first guy. He too disappeared, but during the waking hours and the day it was always my silent companion which was the more constant aspect in my life and finally, over a year ago I clearly got to know it. There was no longer any doubt what this aspect was as I merged fully into it, my higher self.
So I still think there are different awarenesses we can be linked to, some are friends, helpers, guides, but I think they respectfully step aside when our awareness of who we are, rises to the fore and we have a direct link to the higher self, the “knower”. You become more confident in that knowledge, but also more humble as your old identifications are gradually pushed to one side. The purpose of the silent companion is union, which is when we merge fully with our higher self.
When this process has finally tipped the balance in favour of our higher self our awareness turns into an awareness of “the stillness of the present moment”, constantly, day and night, unmistakably, unshakable, always, permanently, moment by moment, without break and no knowledge or any clue even of how we could possibly get back to our old separateness. We don’t even remember any more, what it was like as our old self, because it was such a flimsy artifice. Life then changes for good, without return.
I captured it here in the twelve points I noted down, how life is transformed when we merge with our silent companion, which turns into the stillness: The Higher Consciousness.
I am still absorbing and digesting the validation and information I received from this FB conversation. As you all know, I do not often go out in search of books or articles that relate to my experiences. I rarely feel drawn to do this and when I have questioned myself about these tendencies the answers I receive indicate that there is no need for that which is already understood and accepted from the Self. When I have sought after validation through outside sources (outside myself that is) I have found my confidence in myself becomes muddled with questions and self-doubt which only serves to slow down my own spiritual progress. However, such as is this circumstance, lately my answers come to me from without and often do so in larges chunks such as is this case.
It is obvious to me now that merging is part of the process of awakening; IS the awakening. I have noticed that my guide (higher self) is much closer and more ever-present than the previous 7 years. I also recognize that the message I received back in June of this year about my upcoming “death” was in fact not a physical death but a death of the me that I have been throughout this life. I suspected this.
Jurgen describes this “death” of transformation perfectly:
It was as if a cage of frosted glass, which had obscured my vision for so long, had been shattered into billions of tiny pieces and there was simply no longer a way of putting them back together again to form the old frosted cage. Whereas in the past I would take glimpses into higher states of awareness, spontaneously or through meditation, I was inevitably posted back into my old mundane self, striving to find my way back into the clear light of reality which was unimpeded by viewpoints, judgements or personal issues. Now it felt as if the bridges back had been incinerated and for the time being at least I appeared to be permanently located on a new viewing platform with no roadmap back to my old self and any interest whatsoever in returning to my old ways had simply dissipated.
I was given a time period of four years from this past June until the time of “death”. It seems a long time but to be told that it is coming is a gift. My guide spoke to me last night as has been the usual in the evenings since the birth of my son. He reassured me that the coming changes are good and to be patient with myself as I struggle through some of the difficulties of accepting myself back into myself. I asked how to invite him in, and he told me, “It is not something that can be explained in words but something that must be experienced to understand”. Yet I saw in my mind a visual of opening my heart and accepting myself without fear or judgment. With this vision I recognized how much I fear what I will find when I open up to all that I am, have been and will be. To do so without judgment is perhaps the most difficult task of them all because it comes with the human tendency to label ourselves and our choices as “good” or “bad”. For so long it has been whispered to me when I criticize myself for a “wrong” decision, “There are no mistakes, only choices”. How does one step back and view life without labels? How does one ignore the illusions and accept what is before them as it IS with love and acceptance? I shudder to think of the lives I have lived (that I remember) where I have been so horrible that the mere memory of it causes me to withdraw and contract from myself. I can’t do this if I want to reunite with myself. What a huge feat it seems yet my guide reassures me that it is achievable.
Kundalini is the power of the Divine located in each and every individual soul who incarnates into the physical. Each of us possesses this Divine power within us, though most of us go through our lives without ever tapping into the limitlessness of our own Divinity. Through our own Kundalini energy, we can experience pure Love, greater Knowledge, and increased intuition and connection to the universe.
Kundalini energy remains dormant for the most part. Lying in wait until it is unleashed by a trigger or specific stimulus. As I said earlier, not everyone will experience a release and rise of their Kundalini energy, but those who do are destined to do so in order to achieve a spiritual consciousness unique to their own spiritual journey. The Soul chooses a specific event, time, place, emotional state, etc. When the exact moment occurs and Kundalini begins to rise, the individual cannot ever return to their previous state.
The release of Kundalini energy can be triggered by meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, Reiki, healing and other spiritual exercises. When the Kundalini energy rises through the chakras, it can cause major change which can be problematic.
Kundalini Awakening
A Kundalini awakening is the rise of the Kundalini energy up through the seven major chakras starting with the root chakra. This “awakening” may happen spontaneously to some while others may work years to unlock the power of their own Divinity on their own. If you have begun to explore your own Spirituality, then you need to be aware of Kundalini energy and the effects of it.
Spontaneous awakening of Kundalini can be caused by many things. Near death experiences, traumatic experiences, pain, deep sorrow, healing, intensive meditation and physical or mental illness can all bring about a Kundalini awakening.
Though the Kundalini awakening is considered a great prize by many seeking spiritual enlightenment, the process of Kundalini rising can cause many problems and setbacks for the individual. When the dormant or potential aspect of the Kundalini arises, it means the transformation of individual consciousness into fully expanded Consciousness of the Divine. That process of transformation and purification is marked by both ecstasy and sublime experiences of the Divine, as well as by “dark nights” of the soul. Kundalini awakening can create experiences that mimic psychiatric and somatic disorders such as schizophrenia, manic depression, and psychosis. Whether you are purposeful in awakening your Kundalini energy or not, the experience will change your life.
Typical Symptoms of a Kundalini Awakening
Burning hot or ice cold energy/sensations moving up the spine.
A feeling of air bubbles or snake movement up through the body.
Pains in varying locations throughout the body.
Tingling in the genital area, spine, or head.
Stiffness in the neck.
Pressure within the head (can be described as dull pain or heavy sensation).
Intense energy in legs and other parts of the body.
Fast pulse and increased metabolism.
Sensitivity to sound, light, smell, and people.
Orgasm sensations in different places in the body, or total body orgasms.
Anxiety or anxiety attacks, due to lack of understanding of what is going on.
Insomnia or sleeplessness.
Loss of concentration and memory.
Purposeful isolation because of confusion and lack of understanding.
Kundalini Meditation
If you feel you are ready to initiate a Kundalini awakening for yourself, then there is a simple process you can follow. Before you decide to start this process, however, please remember that awakening your Kundalini energy will change you and you will never be able to return to the state you were in prior to the experience. A Kundalini awakening will bring out all your long hidden issues from this life and from previous lives, it will awaken your Divine nature which may include the onset of psychic abilities you have yet to know of, it will be confusing and most likely lead you through a transformational process which many call “the dark night of the soul”. Consider where you are in life, where you wish to be in life in your future, and whether you feel a “call” from inside you that says, “Yes I am ready”. For those of you unsure as to whether you are ready, I recommend consulting someone who has been through a Kundalini awakening. Discuss their experience and research all you can on the subject before making a decision.
When I say that initiating a Kundalini awakening within yourself is simple, I mean it. All you have to do is follow some simple steps:
While in a meditative state, let it be known to your guides and to the universe your intention. State that you wish to awaken the Divine within yourself.
Focus on your root chakra and imagine it flowing in a clockwise direction.
Continue to state your intention. As you do so, increase the rotational frequency of your root chakra slowly until it is speeding too fast for you to follow it any longer.
Firmly state your intention once more and end your meditation.
Once you have done this, you should not have to ask again. Meditating regularly and practicing spiritual exercises that increase concentration and help you explore your own spirituality will help the process. A Kundalini awakening is a process that can last years. Make sure that you have a good support system while you are going through the process. You will need the compassion and understanding of close friends and family to help you through the most intense parts of your transformation.
Go through the first technique step-by-step until you drift off into sleep. Do not be concerned if you do not instantly project. It took me over a month of doing these exercises before I finally consciously astral projected.
Living Life in Between 