Tag Archives: baby

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Stay With Me

Last night and this morning was very eventful. I did not see it coming either. I have been experiencing such calm and balance that I assumed I would have blissful, uneventful sleep.

Dead Baby

I awoke at 4am sharp in tears. The dream is not all very clear to me now except for the end, so I will recount it and hope it starts to make sense at some level.

I was very aware of being part of a trio of people. I was one of two women. We had been living together alone for some time, me, my lover and her son. My lover’s husband had been deployed and gone for a long time. She did not think she would ever see him again.

Then one day, to our surprise, my lover’s husband returned. When he arrived he was surprised to find his wife with a roommate who he later discovered was his substitute. Interestingly, he was not upset and just joined us, joking we were his “two wives”.

It took a while for him to accept me, but he eventually did. He began to sleep in the same bed as us and even attempted to touch me and cuddle with me. I recall worrying about him and sensing he was not really sure about all of us being together. Three’s a crowd, you know.

I remember talking to the husband and telling him I that I will not blame him if he leaves, but he refuses to admit he is uncomfortable with the situation. We all get to know each other after that and I show them my ability: I can fly. I hover over the ground and show them how I do it. I point to my chest/heart area and explain it is all in the “heart”. I am able to hover about and they are extremely interesting in watching, but I do not recall them ever doing it themselves.

We somehow end up at a water park and they ask me to show them and others my ability. We are at this huge waterfall/slide. It is at least a half mile wide and this sparkling, aqua-clear blue. I hover over the water for a time but when I fly over the edge the water takes me down with it and at the end I am wet but unharmed.

The time shifts and I feel as if years had passed. The husband is showing signs of discomfort at his situation. His son, who I later found out was not his real son but step-son, is taking much of our and his time. I remember him saying, “I cannot take this anymore. I did not sign up for this”. At the time I am pregnant with his child.

Fast forward again and the baby is about to be born, but I am now an observer. As the baby is born and laid out, it is discovered that he has something in his brain. The doctor finds a hemangeoma but it is located in the neck and says the baby will be fine. The husband and woman are relieved. I now enter the scene and tell the husband it is okay for him to feel overwhelmed, that I understand if he wants to leave. We hug. When we hug, one of us hits the bed the baby is on and he falls to the floor. When he falls, he hits his head and instantly dies. His head is flattened in the dream and very disfigured. I feel awful and say, “It’s my fault” and watch as the mother picks him up and cries. I then see the ultrasound photos of him and begin to cry. I wake up in tears.

Stay With Me

I ran to check on my son because of the disturbing dream but he was fine and breathing normally. I have been worried about him suffocating in his sleep for a while now because he keeps getting colds, so any dream that suggests he may be in danger causes me to worry.

I went back to bed and tossed and turned for some time. My guide was close and I kept hearing the song “Stay With Me”, by Sam Smith. It is not a song I particularly like but it seems songs are one of the main ways my guides communicate with me and the song keeps coming until I hear the message.

My gut reaction to this song and the dream is that I am struggling to move forward with what has been going on with me both consciously and subconsciously.

Consciously, my guide has been asking me to decide what I want so that I can move forward. Oddly, I am unable to decide what I want to do with my life other than recognizing I want to feel peace and calm. Subconsciously, I am told I am shifting awareness and that it is creating an internal struggle. I am told this is normal and part of the process and to be patient with myself for my Ego is not easily swayed.

The dream symbols here are quite obvious to me. A baby is a new idea or path/direction. In this dream the baby is found to have a growth which suggests there may be a flaw in this path, but not one that will cause significant problems. However, the baby dies and I admit it is my fault. This suggests that I am taking responsibility for a new goal/path not coming to fruition. Perhaps I am also considering dropping this path altogether?

The waterfall is significant of emotion and since it is clear it is not muddled emotion, but clear, recognizable and confrontable emotion. The water fall is vast, suggesting there is much emotion to clear and that it may result of a drastic shift for me, as per the waterfall part. I attempt to fly above the water, avoiding it, but am swept up in it suggesting I cannot avoid this shift.

The discussion with the man in the dream seems to be a discussion I am having with myself about the feelings of overwhelm I have been having associated with my role in the family. I tell him it is okay to feel the way he feels and that I will understand if he chooses to leave. Perhaps I am accepting this part of myself? It sure felt that way considering the emotional effect it had on me both in the dream and upon waking.

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Astral Space Capsule – February, 2014

I have not been able to get a solid night’s sleep in some time. So, of course, I have not had very many vivid dreams and no OBEs. I think this is because I keep waking up every 1 to 2 hours either from baby kicking and squirming or from needing to use the bathroom.

Baby Dream

Today is my first day of my new counseling job. I awoke at 4:30am from some weird dreams. Strangely I had slept harder than in previous nights and so it was a surprise to me that I remembered my dreams at all. I had a dream where I was in shop as a cashier and working with money. My husband’s boss who passed away last year was my boss and he was discussing giving me money. A woman stopped by and mentioned that her daughter was having her baby but that it was due in November. I remember thinking that there was no way the baby would survive since November was so far away. The baby had to have just be conceived! It was a boy and I overheard that the father was my sister’s ex-boyfriend. I didn’t say anything to her about it since I didn’t want to give her anymore bad news. The guy was a loser.

Later, I was in the hospital and the woman and her daughter were there. The baby had been born and had survived to my surprise. I remember hearing her talking about him and describing how small he was. She showed me a picture of him and he had large jowls like a dog and I remember realizing that the baby was a girl and not a boy. It also had a very short torso and seemed deformed. I congratulated the woman but the whole while was thinking “Poor woman”.

I went to the bathroom with a nurse who wanted me to tell her how long it took me to pee. She gave me a clock and I went in. I didn’t think I would have much pee but for some reason it gushed out of me and got all over the toilet. I frantically watched the clock and I saw it was at 15sec. Another gush came out and another still. I seemed to be full of pee! I noted that it took about 25-30sec total. I then saw I had peed out something weird. It looked like a piece of flesh. It had veins and everything on it and was about 3 inches long. I was horrified.

This part of the dream woke me up and I tossed and turned for an hour afterward with the dream on my mind. The piece of flesh bothered me. I finally had to get up to pee at 5:30am and then tried to go back to bed. I laid on my right side because my hand kept going numb when I laid on my left side.

OBE #1: Astral Space Capsule

My head had barely hit the pillow and I was asleep. But this time I immediately left my body. I also instantly knew I was not in my body. But, like in other recent OBEs, I had an almost frantic, full of energy feeling that I sometimes get. So, “the child”, as I call her, was in charge during this one.

I found myself inside a space craft. There were large metal cylinders that were moving and I was aware that the shape was circular, like a pod. I was in the middle and knew that someone was about to blow up the space pod. I couldn’t really do anything but wait as I could find no exit. I sat in the midst of these large metal cylinders waiting. The cylinders pumped back and forth, horizontally next to me. I had no fear. I actually didn’t really have any emotion other than being not quite sure what the heck I was doing there.

I then noticed more large cylindrical tubes coming into the pod from the outside. My attacker was infiltrating the pod. With each cylindrical shaft that forced its way into the pod, I felt there was a bomb placed inside. I heard an audible countdown as several more cylinders forced their way inside.It is strange but I had no fear of the impending explosion.

Still having the strangely overwhelming energy of “the child”, I somehow managed to leave the capsule at the very moment the countdown reached zero and exploded. I never even experienced the explosion. Instead, I shifted to a new scene after a brief blacking out of my vision, and found myself in an unfamiliar bed. I immediately flew up and out of the bed and down some stairs.

OBE #2: Christmas House

The place was unfamiliar and I remember recognizing that I was in astral but being concerned about the time. I consciously thought about how I got back into bed at 5:30am. I knew I had only a half hour before my alarm would go off. I also remembered that I needed to get up because if I didn’t I would be late for my first day at work!

I pushed these worries out of my mind as I went downstairs. Oddly, I could hear myself talking to myself, reasoning with myself about how not to worry. I recall a woman being there and most of this scene is lost to me now. I do know I was in a house and was dealing with my worries as I frantically flew about it.

At one point I went outside the house and decided I would spy on the neighbors. It was dark outside and I realized my energy level was low but I chose to do nothing about it. My vision was good except that I seemed to have hair over one of my eyes. I kept noticing that my left eye had a veil over it and kept thinking that I needed to brush my hair out of the way.

I flew out of the house I was in and into the street. It was not a street I am familiar with. It appeared to be in a suburb lined with multi-story houses of various brick colors. The house I was going toward was reddish colored brick and more than one story. It had a manicured lawn and seemed to be middle to upper middle class.

When I got to the front door of the house the obstruction in my vision vanished. The door was dark colored and had a tiny window in the top.  I remember worrying briefly that it wouldn’t open but I easily opened it. Inside it was dark but there was a small Christmas tree illuminated in the corner on my left and I could see the house was very nice, clean and neat. I decided to grab the tree and knock it over (not sure why) and then I flew up the stairs. Each step of the stairs also had a tree, but not a Christmas tree, more like a huge pine/fir tree. I knocked each of them down one by one as I flew up. Something blocked me from continuing up the stairs, though, so I headed back down them still with the overly energetic feeling.

When I got to the bottom I encountered the woman again and there was a rocker recliner. Under it were two children, a boy and a girl. I reached under to get them, feeling attracted to them for some reason. I remember the woman said something to me but I don’t remember what now. I grabbed the young boy and pulled him out, telling him it was okay. He came close to the other child, a little girl who was his sister, and licked her face. I remember thinking it was funny and told him to lick me. He licked me and then I licked him but did so in his mouth. It was very strange. It was not a kiss but an actual lick. I could taste the inside of his mouth. This grossed me out at some level and it brought me back to my body as I was rejecting the scene entirely.