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The Trance State

In the wake of my most recent experience, I wanted to explain what exactly happened to me. I want to make it very clear that what I experienced 1. was not a dream, 2. is something anyone can do.

I began meditating in 2002. My first meditation was profound. Looking back, I believe it triggered a full opening of my 7th chakra and began the process of opening my 8th chakra. I know for sure that it propelled me into the journey of a lifetime. One. Simple, Guided. Meditation. It blew me away.

Years after this first meditation, after recognizing I had abilities beyond anything I even considered possible, I met a hypnotherapist from the U.K. He was fascinated with something called the “trance state”. I had never heard about it. He told me about how it worked. An individual was put under hypnosis through a specific guided imagery session. When done properly, they would resign their dominant personality and let Spirit take over. When this happened, Spirit, usually a spiritual guide, would talk through the individual. This is what Edgar Casey did as well as many, many others some well known, others not.

I was not sure I believed him but seeing was believing. I watched as he took a friend of mine into the trance state through hypnosis. When she let Spirit in a dramatic change occurred. Not only did her face seem to take on an altogether different look, but her voice changed. When she spoke she could even speak another language, a language she did not know! I was astonished.

I tried to tape record one session. My friend went under hypnosis and let my guide speak through her. I was super excited to hear what he had to say. He gave his real name. He spoke in Aramaic (confirmed later), and gave specifics about me that my friend couldn’t possibly have known. Afterward, eager to listen to it all over again, the tape was complete static. All that could be heard was me asking questions. The answers were all static.

I tried to go into the trance state several times. For some reason I just never could. I was terrified of letting go of control over my body. I was terrified of being “possessed”. All I was able to do was get into a semi-hypnotized state, which basically means I was really relaxed but never to the point of the trance state.

The Trance State: What is It?

Most people might think all that I just wrote is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo. A made up story or some joke played on me by my friend. However, the trance state is very real. It can be reached without hypnosis. It can be reached via meditation.

I use to think I could never get to the trance state but the more I meditated, the more relaxed I became and then I had some very profound things happen to me. My guide spoke to me, appeared to me, touched me, spoke to me in another language. My body would feel heavy and light at the same time. I would be washed in love, peace, calm and also relive past lives as if they were happening at that exact moment. All of this because of the trance state.

Technically, the trance state is just very deep relaxation. But it has been studied quite a bit and findings indicate that the brain hemispheres function together in a way they don’t normally. Brainwaves change. Brain activity lessens.

If you are curious and want to know more about the trance state and how to achieve it for yourself, check out The Trance State by Robert Bruce. The author provides different techniques to use to attain the trance state. My hypnotherapist friend used the “Steps” technique to help his clients achieve this state.

Personally, I do not use a “technique” to enter trance. I don’t think I have to, really. I entered the trance state last night when meditating. I find I enter it simply by keeping my mind clear and focusing on a repetitive thing. Last night I did self-healing. Any time my mind would wander and I would find myself day dreaming, I would simply stop myself and return to whatever I was doing before. I was sick last night, so I gave up, but I did feel the tell-tale signs of trance.

Signs of Trance

You know you are entering the trance state when you feel the following:

  • warm, cozy, and heavy feeling in your body
  • all over tingly feeling in body
  • difficulty focusing your thoughts, day dreaming
  • odd lights and/or colors flashing in your vision
  • disassociation with the physical body
  • buzzing or vibrating in the body, particularly the head
  • rapid eye movment (REM), fluttering of eyes behind eyelids
  • hypnagogic images
  • sensation of falling (sometimes)
  • odd noises, bumps, bangs, etc (indicate deep trance)
  • heart palpitations/increased heart rate

Guide Induced Trance

I have also experienced guide induced trance. This just means that my guide helped me get to the trance state. Most of my OBEs in the early days were because my guide would induce the trance state and out I would go. At the peak of this time I would literally lay down in bed, close my eyes, focus on my guide’s voice and be in the trance state almost instantly. I suspect that is where I am headed again. My guide used the trance state to communicate with me during my most recent experience. He did this often prior to 2005.

Bruce addresses the issue of falling into the trance state too easily. That is likely what happened to me prior to my shut down in 2005. For me, I was just conversing with my guide and “learning”. Now that I think about it, though, I was going into trance at least daily, sometimes more, for quite some time and I did experience a “disassociation from reality”. Ouch. I wish I had known this information then.

This is what Bruce says about too easily falling into trance:

This is an occasional side effect of long-term development work. If a person spends a lot of time in trance, the trance state eventually becomes second nature and is then very easily attained. People with this tendency can find themselves accidentally sliding into the trance state many times each day, at the drop of the proverbial hat. If not checked, this can cause frequent dissociation from reality, which is an unhealthy way to live. This can become a serious psychological disorder and may require professional treatment if it is not addressed.

Use of Trance

The trance state has a myriad of uses. The most obvious is stress reduction, relaxation, and achieving a deeper connection to ones self and God. For me, the trance state brought me closer to my guide/my Higher Self, and set me on the path of self-discovery and astral travel. My guide uses the trance state to relay messages to me in a more direct fashion. I have also communicated with Spirit to include passed loved ones via this state. While in a deep trance state I am not only able to communicate with my guide(s), but also with Spirit if I want to (which is not usually). I am also able to identify chakra imbalance, illness, weakness and other issues with my physical body. Additionally, I am better able to recognize my own thoughts, beliefs and emotions and this in turn helps me in waking life to better recognize and control my emotions and reactions to life.

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Mountain Towers

As the day progresses, I cannot stop thinking about what I am going through and what my future holds. There is so much in my mind now, being processed so very slowly, that I feel as if a part of me is about to explode with knowingness. It is as if all the answers are at the tip of my tongue but I cannot for the life of me get the words to come out or make any sense. What is odd to me is that when I do try and think about it all I go completely blank and a calmness washes over me as if I am being told to relax, trust and stop fighting. Is trying to make sense of all this considered fighting? I suppose it is because the human mind is so booby trapped by limiting believes and useless data that I have no doubt that if I tried to process all that has happened to me too quickly before my energy body and physical body have adjusted, I would drive myself insane. Thankfully, whatever happened, is happening, to me, keeps me from the brink of insanity through the very waves of calm that wash over me when I attempt to think too much.

Note to self: Listen.

12 Levels

What I am able to contemplate, and am ready and able to process without risk of booby traps, is the interesting dreams I had this morning.

I am sick, have been since Sunday. It comes and goes, some days not as bad as others. Last night it hit me full force and as I meditated I saw a message flicker in the left side of my mental vision: “tired”. It was very tiny but when I saw it I heard, ‘You are tired” and I knew I was. I rolled over, satisfied that my self-healing had proved successful, and fell asleep.

I dreamed I was in a busy, bustling room. It resembled a hotel lobby with people milling about, sitting at tables, drinking coffee and eating, or coming and going from the large, beautifully embellished, multiple elevators. I felt to be in a metropolis of some sort. It felt like New York, but I was not sure.

I watched as a man and woman rushed into an elevator. The man was nicely dressed in casual attire and very relaxed with a strong, compelling energy. The woman was in a vibrant red dress and had long, wavy brown hair that reached her waist line. They were laughing and completely ignored me as they walked by. But I knew them! We were suppose to be traveling together. Why didn’t they wait for me?

I tried to catch up with them, reaching for the elevator door and almost losing my hand in it as it closed. I looked at the dial showing the floors they were going to and prayed they were the first to be dropped off because a man I did not know got into the elevator with him. What if his floor is before theirs? If I chose that floor number then I would never find my friends.

I watched as the elevator ascended. 1, 2, 3, 4…..9, 10, 11, 12. It stopped at 12. That was the floor I would go to.

I got into the elevator and went to level 12. What is odd is that I felt I was already miles up in the sky before I got into the elevator.

Mountain Towers

The rising of the elevator up the 12 floors is mostly lost to me but I did make it to the 12th floor. The next thing I knew I was with the man and he was showing me the city.

It was not New York.

I was flying above a large city. It was bigger than any city I have ever visited. The lights were bright and sparkling and the colors vivid. We stood for a while on the city side walk and I looked up and saw a massive tower in front of me. It had to be a mile high! I remember the sidewalks were vibrant white but had a silver glimmer about them. In fact, all of the buildings, except the tower in front of me, had a silver glimmer to them. I felt as if I were in a futuristic city similar to present time sci-fi movies.

This was not an Earth city. I knew the name and also knew of other names of cities. I cannot remember the name now but I know it started with a B and reminded me of a country on Earth. I also heard the name Lumeria, which I have visited in an OBE. I knew I had been there before. I wish I could remember what I remembered then but it is all lost to me now!

The next thing I knew I was flying high above the city with the man. I was being told about the towers and the man I was flying with motioned in front of him. I looked into the distance and saw majestic, snow topped mountains with jagged peaks one after the other. They seemed to go on forever. He then gestured to the city below us and mentioned the towers. I noticed we were right above a large, golden brown tower. It reminded me of a cathedral mixed with a castle tower. It had a pointed, conical roof and rose miles into the air. The man told me that the people who built the city built towers out of the mountains. At the time, I recognized the towers below me, situated specific distances from one another, as “mountain towers”, even though now, as I think on the memory, they looked nothing like the mountains other than being majestic and rising high into the air.

Considerations

I was not lucid in either of these dreams but I am certain that the second dream was an OBE. I remember it so vividly and believe I was taken to this city for a purpose. I also believe it was the same city as the first dream of the elevator. The feeling I had upon waking was that I was visiting there to do “work” specific to this Earth life.

I awoke immediately thinking about the name of the city. I repeated it to myself several times to try and remember it, but unfortunately the memory is gone now. I began to think about all the stuff I read about the Pleadians in the past and how I once was sure that I was communicating with them. I even had OBEs where I went to other planets and visited. I put an end to those thoughts, though, because they cause me to feel uneasy. But I wonder now, is there some truth to it?

I am certain the first dream was a result of my contemplating chakras 8-12. The feeling from that dream was that I felt ill prepared for the changes coming my way and that I felt left behind, as if I am way behind those of my friends.There may be some truth to this because I have had this feeling before and it has come out in my dreams. I can’t help but wonder if I slipped up in this life, got behind and am now playing catch up. Did I make a mistake when I put my awakening on hold back in 2005?

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The 8th Chakra

After yesterday’s multiple experiences, I spent most of my day walking around in awe. It wasn’t until the evening that I began to notice an odd feeling rising up within me. I recognized it instantly as trepidation.

I had been questioning my experiences all day, little by little. One of my first questions was about the odd healing exercise I did while meditating. No one had taught me such an exercise and I had not done purposeful self-healing in a very long time. Yet, I felt compelled to move my energy from my root chakra all the way to my crown. I counted as I did this, 1 for the root, 2 for the sacral, 3 for the solar, 4 for the heart, 5 for the throat, 6 for the third-eye, 7 for the crown, and 8…. I never really questioned why I was going to 8 at the time, but all I could think about during the day was, why 8?

The 8th Chakra

I knew very little about the 8th chakra but I did know that there were chakras that extended above the 7th. I didn’t know how many or what they were for, though. Since I could not stop wondering about it, I began to search the internet for the answers.

I found many interesting articles explaining the purpose of the higher chakras, chakras 8-12. When the bottom chakras are aligned and open properly, the next four chakras can open up. These are the spiritual chakras. I had always thought the heart chakra up through the crown were the “spiritual chakras”, but apparently, I was misinformed. These chakras do have a spiritual aspect but they are linked to the physical. The highest chakras are spiritual centers only and have no physical link except where the 8th and 7th chakras link.

The 8th chakras was the chakra I was most interested in since it had been included in my self-healing. This is information I found in an article, Chakras and the Ascension Process:

The 8th chakra is found aligned above the crown chakra and is the conduit of psychic abilities and spiritual information from the higher self to the physical self. This is also the chakra that holds and maintains whatever emotions or goals that were not maintained within the previous incarnations, or our karma. It is important to remember that the universe maintains balance and does not keep cosmic tabs on our behavior. We alone are responsible for those life lessons. The purpose of karma is to allow us to release those pains and trials that left residual spots in our aura that halted our ascensions in the past so that we can learn from them and move foreward. Once the door to the physical world is closed and the one of the spiritual world is opened, the individual, their perception, and their outlook is changed forever. This is the point in your development that you begin to see the world through new eyes. Simple things trigger hours upon hours of deep thought. You begin to see the universe not as a singular thing that is far off but as something dimensional of which you are an integral part.

As I contemplated the information I read about the 8th chakra I began to feel drawn to the 9th, even receiving a mental message from my guide simply saying, “9th”, in response to what chakra I was working on currently.

This is what the article says about the 9th chakra:

Once you are able to view the universe on higher level, the 9th chakra opens and your spiritual blueprint comes into play. Your blueprint is the map that you create prior to your first incarnation that holds every experience an individual may encounter and the many paths those experiences may hold. The choices that you make in physical form activate the paths made on the spiritual realm. The skills, abilities, lessons, wisdoms, and soul type (creator, healer, or teacher) are found in this chakra. Generally when a person realizes the type of soul path they have maintained (based upon how many lifetimes have been spent in each of these paths) the way becomes smoother and the transition is easier. When they fight against it, life becomes more stringent and less wisdom is gleaned from the experience.

Upon researching and reading more about chakras 8-12, I began to truly understand what was happening. I was in the process of “ascending”, or as my guide calls it, “merging”. These chakras are the key to the ascension process. The 7th chakra, when it opens, allows one access to their spiritual abilities but they will not be able to fully control them. However, when the 8th chakra opens, the individual will be able to better control those abilities but they will also have to confront their karmic obligations, purge old emotions and beliefs, and recognize life patterns. As they do this, the 9th chakra begins to open, giving them access to the Akashic records. It is only when the 10th chakra begins to open that the 9th chakra begins to fully flow and manifest.

As one chakra opens, the ones previous will open and expand further. So now that I am opening the 9th chakra, the 8th will further open but so will the previous 7.

If you are interested in chakras 8-12, I found one particularly interesting article about these chakras. I cannot post anything but the link to the article, as the author has strong copy write conditions attached to it. The article is called The Spiritual Chakras 8 to 12. This article is very much designed for the healer’s use, so if you are not familiar with energetic healing, some of it will not make much sense to you. However, as a healer myself, it was fascinating to me.

Overall, from what I have gathered, chakras 8-12 are all very intricately linked. As with all the chakras, these chakras can be paritally opened, blocked and wide open at any point. Most individuals do not even have their 7th chakra open, but those who are now beginning the ascension process will have at least opened the 7th chakra and begun working on the 8th. This is the period of confusion for many and also can put one into a dark night of the soul.

Fear

Interestingly, I have already been at this point in my spiritual development. I have already had communication from my guide like I am having now. I use to have experiences like the one from yesterday frequently. Actually, I had better experiences, more profound and amazing.

I halted it in 2005. I was too overwhelmed by it all and found that I was increasingly withdrawing into the spiritual and abandoning my life. This imbalance wreaked havoc on my life. When I consciously recognized the imbalance I shut down. I literally told my guide to leave my thoughts. I suspended the process for the time being and was able to regain my foothold in the physical.

In 2007 I once again withdrew from the process, shutting it down further. Up until that point, I had just partially withdrawn, I still maintained my abilities and used them frequently. But in 2007, I completely sealed myself off from the 8th chakra and partially closed my 7th. This was the only way for me to feel “normal”, as with each suppression of my spiritual abilities I became more and more the picture of my previous self.

Now that I am opening up again, I am afraid. Afraid I will not be able to maintain balance. Already I am more interested in escaping to the spiritual than I am interested in the physical. I am wary, then, which my guide said is “Good”. He also says of the me back in 2005 – “You were a child”. I was in my 20s! Yet I understand what he means. I have changed, I have grown up and recognize much more about myself, my weaknesses and my fears

I am told I cannot stop this process. Anything I do now will only create delay and cause complications, mainly my resistance will make the experience uncomfortable, even frightening. I am being asked to “Let go” and allow things to progress. I am also being asked to, “Be patient” with myself. The opening of the higher chakras can take many years. I cannot expect to have nightly mind-blowing experiences, though I desperately want to.

Though I have been here before and it was life-shattering, this time does not have to be. Yes there will be change, but the change does not have to be scary or earth shattering. If I am open and patient with myself, if I listen to my heart rather than my fears, the process can be beautiful and empowering. All I have to do is “trust”.

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Swaddled in Popcorn Clouds

I can’t sleep. I just had the most amazing experience and I will not be able to sleep until I write about it.

After this morning’s interesting OBE and messages, I went about the day floating about and feeling very happy. The entire time I kept the memory and questions about what happened at the back of my mind. I recognized this near bedtime but still kept the thoughts at bay.

Yoga and Meditation

I was instructed (am using this word as it is the only one that makes sense) to do yoga. I did Hatha yoga while my daughter played and my baby crawled about, sometimes on me. lol It did not bother me, I just enjoyed it and laughed while slowly going through the video routine and breathing deeply.

By bed time I felt the need to meditate. I was instructed to Om, so I did for quite a while. I also moved energy from my root up through my crown and then to the chakra above it. I counted as I went through each chakra, 1-8, and recognized that the 8th one was necessary. I felt my guide close the entire time.

I finally gave up on reaching any kind of meditative bliss, though I did feel calm and without thought. I laid on my right side and attempted sleep.

Dragon Girl

Soon I was dreaming. I was in a darkened theatre listening to a group of actors and actresses who were discussing the filming of a show. I was an actress, too, and knew this, but my focus was upon a small child who was with me. She was blonde and about 6 years old. I recognized her as my daughter but she was very dissimilar to my living daughter.

I was vaguely aware that the director was discussing my role in the “season” that was being filmed. He never mentioned me by name but they were all discussing my role as if I were not there, though I was. I was still focused upon the child who was putting on costumes and dancing about. She was beautiful and I was in awe of her.

I heard them all begin to discuss my access to the role I would be playing. Some were saying I could have no access to the script because I was not a full player in this “series” (it seemed like a television series but felt like the theatre). I recall that my role was being “rewritten” to include me coming into the life of a married man. I would not suspect this but it was being written. I could see the man out of the corner of my mind and there was a bit of sadness about my unexpected role.

I heard all of this but was not concerned. I was still engrossed in the little girl.

The director brought out the little girl dressed in a new costume. I was delighted! She was wearing a dragon costume that covered her entire body and even head. I could still see her face and she was so happy and wanted to show off for me. I watched as she jumped down into my arms, her little purple and green costume soft against my skin. I was extremely happy, happier than I believe I have ever felt in life. The joy poured out me as I hugged her close.

Hypnagogic Images With a Message

As I hugged the little girl against me it felt as if my entire head was swaddled in a soft, cottony pillow. It was white and I could see it but again I did not care or really focus upon it. I felt too good! Then the dream vanished and I was suddenly aware of a beautiful vision pouring into my line of sight. It felt as if I were floating still, my head swaddled and soft and buzzing with a soft energy. The vision clarified and in front of me were millions of tiny, white bubbles filled with rainbows of color, each spinning like prisms within prisms. The vision spread throughout my line of site until it hit the white, almost solid clouds that surrounded it, and me.

I instantly became aware of my body. It was stiff but completely solid. I also knew I was seeing hypnagogic images. Upon this realization my heart sank. Not in fear but in anticipation.

I heard a voice say, “Let go” and as I did, small letters took form upon the swirling, iridescent balls of color. Before they could completely form the word “Let” I knew what I was being told. Then in front of me more words began to form. They were jumbled but I heard a voice say, “What do you want?” and I immediately saw that the jumbled word was “Peace” and I responded, “Peace”. Then I wondered, “What do I do now?” and before my thought was finished I saw the word, “Listen” form in front of me in lavender letters. I listened, focusing on the swirling, beautiful clouds of color in front of me. It was the most spectacular thing I have ever seen! Overjoyed and excited, I continued to watch and waited, listening.

I never heard anything. Instead the stiffness in my body became overpowering as the vision before me faded. I knew/thought, “I will wake up”. A bit disappointed, I allowed it to happen.

Messages

I felt my head still swaddled in the white, puffy clouds. The energy there was so wonderful and relaxing. I just wanted to stay in it but I knew when I moved it would go away.

My guide was there. He asked, “How was it?

“Absolutely wonderful!” I mentally replied.

“There is more to come”

I was in awe. What do I say to that?

I continued to hear him and feel him all around me. I wondered, “Is this what it will be like (to merge)?”

He just said, “More is coming”.

Eventually I moved my body which felt stiff as if I had been in the same position for years. I stretched out on my stomach and thought about what I should do next. He said, “Write”.

I waited a while, still not wanting to leave my bed behind but the memory of what had happened was just too intense. So here I am, my body still jumping involuntarily from the energy that just swept through it. I feel as if I had just had the most awesome trip ever! I can still only think about the colors that surrounded me. All lavenders, pinks and other pastel colors of the rainbow. The soft, cushiony pillow that surrounded my head was so comforting. I felt safe and it reminded me of being a child in my mother’s arms. Oh how I wanted to stay forever. Is that what peace feels like?

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12/12/14

I had quite a few dreams once I entered dreamland, but now most are lost to me. I awoke after them and even went over and over them in my head, but I only remember tidbits of information.

The dream I remember parts of occurs at a very elaborate house – a mansion. I am there with my husband and some other people. We are sneaking around and it is very obvious we are trespassing. There are only glimpses of the dream left for me now. I recall there being a man who was very large. I knew he was going to die. I saw in a calendar in front of me and struggled to read it. I finally made out the date 12/12/14. I reconsidered, second guessing myself for a bit and thinking it must have said 12/14/14, but then I was corrected by someone (myself?) and settled on 12/12/14.

As my group was leaving one area, we drove under an arch that was heavy with ivy. The large man died and I confirmed that it was 12/12/14. I remember feeling various emotions at this but most of all I recall feeling unable to keep it from happening.

We continued on and got out of the car. We found the owners face down in a jacuzzi and I screamed, “Call 9-1-1!” Then my husband (who was my ex husband now) turned and said, “They’re alive! They were playing a joke on us!”

I struggled with my lucidity at this point. I knew I was dreaming but seemed unable to control the way my dream turned out. I felt like I was playing tug-of-war with myself. For a while I would gain control and begin to take over and then I lose it and find myself sucked back into a dream I was not interested in.

OBE

I finally was able to gain control of the dream and instantly felt the familiar sensations that come with separation from my body. I soon found the scene changed. I was inside the mansion in the living room. Sitting before me was my three-year-old son. He was watching t.v., the light from the screen illuminated him making him seem to glow with energy. The room itself was dark except for my son and the t.v. but I could make out some of the furnishings and the curtains. It resembled my Mom’s house but not exactly.

I went up to my son and he saw me and reacted with a smile. I tried to get him to come with me but he would not budge. He wanted to watch t.v. I felt very aware and wanted desperately to make the darkness fade away. I left my son to his t.v. watching and went to the front door. As I opened it I stated, “There will be light!”

When I opened the door, though, there was no light. It was dark. I did see the moon illuminating the entire scene and felt as if I were being transported into a different world. I saw strange shapes hovering and when I tried to focus upon them, thinking they were familiar objects the scene would shimmer. The energy swirled around me, pulling me out into what I was seeing, but I resisted. I felt I could not control what was happening! I didn’t panic, I just was in shock or maybe awe. It is hard to describe.

I closed my eyes and began to chant, “Om”. I could feel it resonate deep within me and all at once my core shook, but not violently. My vision blacked out and I was swept up into the vibrations very quickly, almost like I was sucked into a tornado. It was not scary but I felt as if I were broken into millions of pieces. The force of it brought me back into my body.

Disappointed I lay there in bed wondering, “What happened?” My guide said, “You cannot force two dimensions into three”. I did not understand at first but then it all began to make sense at once. I will try to explain it but it is difficult to put into words.

What I experienced before chanting “Om” was movement from a lower dimension into a higher one. From what I understood, I was moving into the mental plane and the chant accelerated the process. Since I was already a bit resistant to the movement the vibrations and odd “breaking apart of myself” caused me to withdraw and retreat back into my body.

Can’t Breathe

A bit overwhelmed by what I just experienced, I decided to go back to sleep but stated first that I wanted to go OOB. I lay on my stomach and tried to get comfortable but my nose was stuffy and my head felt heavy. I closed my eyes and drifted into the in-between state.

My guide spoke to me while I was floating there in-between. I don’t remember everything he said but as he was talking I continued to periodically mentally chant, “Om”. When I did, I became very aware of where I was and what was going on and followed through on my intent to leave my body.

The first time I noted that I was at the point where I could leave my body, I began to kick my legs and felt them separate from my physical body. I rolled out of my body, rocking back and forth and then all the way over. It took tons of effort and I recognized this meant I was in the etheric. I hit the floor and began to crawl toward the door. It felt like my face was covered or draped with heavy blankets and I tried to pull them off to see better. As I did my throat constricted and I suddenly could not breathe. I gasped for air and then quickly returned to my body and took a deep breath.

I immediately allowed myself to relax and began to “Om” again. I felt my body vibrate and took advantage of it and rolled out of my body effortlessly. I again felt heavy and pulled myself up, trying to break the invisible chains that seemed to be holding me down. I felt like I was dragging myself toward the door when I was hit again with a constriction in my throat. I remained calm and kept putting the intent out there to stay OOB but it didn’t work. My body pulled me back and I gasped for air again.

This happened a couple of more times, each time I succeeded to consciously leave my body. Each time my throat constricted and I stopped breathing. I do have a head cold but it is not a bad one, but perhaps that is what caused the constriction? It really felt as if my physical body stopped breathing when I left it. Scary to think of it but I wonder if I were able to ignore my body if I would have suffocated?

Messages

There are some messages I received while in-between. I managed to remember most of them.

One message was about the 12/12/14 date. My guide told me, “The veil will be lifted” when I asked him what the significance of this date was. For me, the veil is the in-between state that I often find myself in when I meditate or am about to go OOB but my guide describes it as a separation between my physical and spiritual. I guess I will find out on the 12th. Perhaps I am not completely understanding what “the veil” is?

I was not concerned about this message but then was told, “You cannot stop it”.

Finally, I was told that I needed to stop trying to control my OBEs, that this is why I continue to remain at the same level experience after experience. The actual words I heard were, “You can’t control it”. This bothered me because I was always led to believe that I had control of myself when OOB and that all I had to do was set an intent and I could go wherever I wanted. As I questioned my guide about what he meant, I understood it to mean that whatever is happening to me is not something my Earth self has any control over. The message is that it WILL happen whether I like it or not.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 5 increasing to 8

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 10:00pm

Time to wake: 4:00am; 6:00am, 7:30am

Meditation?: Yes

Physical Exercise?: Yoga

Mood: normal

Body: headache, stuffy head cold, body aches from exercise

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 3

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: Left side, stomach

Supplements: Multivitamin, 500mg vitamin E, 1000mg Biotin, 1000mg Evening Primrose Oil,  Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Benadryl 25mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg

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Stay With Me

Last night and this morning was very eventful. I did not see it coming either. I have been experiencing such calm and balance that I assumed I would have blissful, uneventful sleep.

Dead Baby

I awoke at 4am sharp in tears. The dream is not all very clear to me now except for the end, so I will recount it and hope it starts to make sense at some level.

I was very aware of being part of a trio of people. I was one of two women. We had been living together alone for some time, me, my lover and her son. My lover’s husband had been deployed and gone for a long time. She did not think she would ever see him again.

Then one day, to our surprise, my lover’s husband returned. When he arrived he was surprised to find his wife with a roommate who he later discovered was his substitute. Interestingly, he was not upset and just joined us, joking we were his “two wives”.

It took a while for him to accept me, but he eventually did. He began to sleep in the same bed as us and even attempted to touch me and cuddle with me. I recall worrying about him and sensing he was not really sure about all of us being together. Three’s a crowd, you know.

I remember talking to the husband and telling him I that I will not blame him if he leaves, but he refuses to admit he is uncomfortable with the situation. We all get to know each other after that and I show them my ability: I can fly. I hover over the ground and show them how I do it. I point to my chest/heart area and explain it is all in the “heart”. I am able to hover about and they are extremely interesting in watching, but I do not recall them ever doing it themselves.

We somehow end up at a water park and they ask me to show them and others my ability. We are at this huge waterfall/slide. It is at least a half mile wide and this sparkling, aqua-clear blue. I hover over the water for a time but when I fly over the edge the water takes me down with it and at the end I am wet but unharmed.

The time shifts and I feel as if years had passed. The husband is showing signs of discomfort at his situation. His son, who I later found out was not his real son but step-son, is taking much of our and his time. I remember him saying, “I cannot take this anymore. I did not sign up for this”. At the time I am pregnant with his child.

Fast forward again and the baby is about to be born, but I am now an observer. As the baby is born and laid out, it is discovered that he has something in his brain. The doctor finds a hemangeoma but it is located in the neck and says the baby will be fine. The husband and woman are relieved. I now enter the scene and tell the husband it is okay for him to feel overwhelmed, that I understand if he wants to leave. We hug. When we hug, one of us hits the bed the baby is on and he falls to the floor. When he falls, he hits his head and instantly dies. His head is flattened in the dream and very disfigured. I feel awful and say, “It’s my fault” and watch as the mother picks him up and cries. I then see the ultrasound photos of him and begin to cry. I wake up in tears.

Stay With Me

I ran to check on my son because of the disturbing dream but he was fine and breathing normally. I have been worried about him suffocating in his sleep for a while now because he keeps getting colds, so any dream that suggests he may be in danger causes me to worry.

I went back to bed and tossed and turned for some time. My guide was close and I kept hearing the song “Stay With Me”, by Sam Smith. It is not a song I particularly like but it seems songs are one of the main ways my guides communicate with me and the song keeps coming until I hear the message.

My gut reaction to this song and the dream is that I am struggling to move forward with what has been going on with me both consciously and subconsciously.

Consciously, my guide has been asking me to decide what I want so that I can move forward. Oddly, I am unable to decide what I want to do with my life other than recognizing I want to feel peace and calm. Subconsciously, I am told I am shifting awareness and that it is creating an internal struggle. I am told this is normal and part of the process and to be patient with myself for my Ego is not easily swayed.

The dream symbols here are quite obvious to me. A baby is a new idea or path/direction. In this dream the baby is found to have a growth which suggests there may be a flaw in this path, but not one that will cause significant problems. However, the baby dies and I admit it is my fault. This suggests that I am taking responsibility for a new goal/path not coming to fruition. Perhaps I am also considering dropping this path altogether?

The waterfall is significant of emotion and since it is clear it is not muddled emotion, but clear, recognizable and confrontable emotion. The water fall is vast, suggesting there is much emotion to clear and that it may result of a drastic shift for me, as per the waterfall part. I attempt to fly above the water, avoiding it, but am swept up in it suggesting I cannot avoid this shift.

The discussion with the man in the dream seems to be a discussion I am having with myself about the feelings of overwhelm I have been having associated with my role in the family. I tell him it is okay to feel the way he feels and that I will understand if he chooses to leave. Perhaps I am accepting this part of myself? It sure felt that way considering the emotional effect it had on me both in the dream and upon waking.

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Driving Test

Yesterday was a good day. I spent most of the day with my husband. The children were with my mother-in-law. I enjoyed every minute of my freedom.

Driving Test

I went to bed feeling very relaxed and balanced. For once I was in a good mood and I felt good, too! I did yoga and then mediated for quite some time before drifting to sleep.

I dreamed I was going to take a driving test. It had been five years and it was time to recertify that I knew the rules for driving. I remember feeling ill prepared. I had not studied. I sat down at a desk next to a girl I went to high school with. “Why is she here?” I thought. The woman who was teaching the class asked us if we were ready and did a quick review. I remember having notes and looking them over. I was reading long lists of things I had to remember. I saw entire sections, one said Section M1. I remember thinking the questions were unfair, asking me to recall details that were not important to driving.

I got out my pencil and noticed it needed sharpening. I informed the teacher who sent a student to another class to sharpen it for me. I then looked through my bag and found I had a brand new pencil in there. I showed the teacher, apologized and then got up to sharpen it myself. When I was done, I sat down and looked through my notes some more. There was a section in it that was talking about the changes happening in the world. I remember finding it interesting because it was exactly what was happening to me! I saw information about the chakras and energy and how it was important to be balanced during this time. I read eagerly but I ran into a section where my writing was unintelligible. It exasperated me and I began to furiously look for anything else about where to find this important information. I saw the page number – 643. I knew it came from the manual we used for class, the very class I was about to take a test in! I remember looking for the manual but not being able to find it. All I had were copious amounts of handwritten notes and I had not reviewed them! I needed more time!

The teacher began to hand out the tests. I got mine and became nervous. Everyone else was intently working on theirs as soon as they received it. The teacher told us we had until that evening and then left the room. Seeing I had the freedom to leave and take my test with me, I left the room quickly. I intended to find a place without prying eyes where I could use my notes to take the test. I went directly to the parking lot to find my car.

When I left the room I detoured into a bathroom and suddenly had the idea to hide in a stall to take the test. When I got in I encountered a woman and hid the test and pencil behind my back. When she left I went into a stall but it turned into a cubicle. I looked at the test and noticed the light was too dim to see by. I could not make out the words and what I could make out made no sense! I do recall the first half was analogy problems and there was a sample problem with the answer. I could not figure out how it made any sense and thus could not answer any of the questions. There were also matching questions but I could not read them as there was not enough light.

I finally exited the building and went into the parking lot. It was snowing and icy. I made it to my car and got inside. Again, there was not enough light to see by. Upset by this and noting the day was coming to an end, I began to panic. I began to drive but my car turned into a motorcycle. I flew up the icy roads, revving my engine. At once point it sputtered and I urged it on but knew it was not going to make it much farther.

Somehow I ended up seeing my teachers (there were now two) and other students and saw that the main teacher was allowing them back into the classroom for retakes. I told her I had messed up on my test and needed another one. She smiled and gave me the new test. I sat down to take it and noticed it had the name of another person written on the top but it had been erased. It was still readable and was very large like the handwriting of a child. I don’t recall the name except that it started with an M. I remember feeling nervous about the test still but I was grateful for two things: 1. I was not alone and 2. I was getting another chance.

Interpretation

I believe this dream was symbolic of my feeling that I need to make a decision but not wanting to. The driving test is representative of my goals or aspirations being put to the test. Questions are being asked about what I want to do with my future. Sharpening a pencil symbolizes the need to be more flexible in my way of thinking and to listen more. Driving a motorcycle symbolizes a desire for freedom and adventure as well as a desire to escape something. In the dream I push the motorcycle to its breaking point indicating that I have recognized that my avoidance has gone on too long. Finally, driving in snow suggests I need to be careful about how I approach my goals.

Flower Car

I then dreamed I was back working at my old, hated job. I found out that it had been taken over by the local police department. As a result, all of the previous staff had been let go. I inquired about my previous boss and was told he no longer worked there. I was surprised about all of this and for a moment was happy and then I felt bad for them. I knew they would have all taken it hard as they did not want to change and had stayed there because it was easier than creating the change they needed.

I was introduced to several young people who were students. Then I went into a room that was devoid of furniture and the person with me laughed at me for going in there. One student, a young black girl, came in and sat down at a desk. She was brought a computer and I asked her if she knew how to use it. She nodded that she did and I sat with her to help her. She struggled with writing and said she felt overwhelmed about writing more than 33 words which was what was required of the assignments. I showed her how to rewrite the question as part of her answer and take up words that way. She listened.

Then all of a sudden there were more students. They began to sing their assignments and danced about. I was interested and got into it, thinking, “What a great idea!” I felt happy for the students. They were finally making learning fun!

When the music stopped I remember being told that learning that way was not allowed. That the students would get carried away if allowed to have fun and that they must not be allowed to do that because they will do bad things. I saw this possibility and agreed to not let them do it anymore. I felt subdued.

I was then told the new boss was coming. He arrived and I was glad to see it was not my old boss. I remember telling them I hated my old boss, but in my head I could not get a clear memory of him as two different faces blurred and blended in my mind. I think I got the other bosses confused with this new one and so backed away from him. He was tall and blonde and quite good looking but I stayed away from him.

A young woman with long, straight black hair came toward me and we began to talk. She had such love about her and I was instantly drawn to her. She and I got along well and she helped me and listened to me. We sat down along the side of the road looking at a valley with a river flowing through it. The grass was green and it was a lovely, quiet and relaxing place. She put her hand in mine and asked me if I wanted to be with her. I did. I knew she liked women and that I did not, but that is not what caused me to feel disappointed. I turned to her and told her, “I would, but I have to tell you that I am married”. She understood and kept holding my hand. I put my head on her shoulder and just sat there with her. As I did, I saw a car drive by and its roof was covered with flowers. I looked closer and saw they were each in tiny pots and I remember saying, “I want a car like that”.

Flower Car

This dream seemed mostly to symbolize me coming to terms with my past. I return to my old job to find that all the past participants in such a stressful period of my life have gone. They are replaced with others who are more accepting but they still insist that the students will be “bad” if allowed to go out of control and have too much fun. I must have a belief that “fun” leads to bad things. The 33 is significant in that it represents high potential and spiritual awareness. The lesbian I meet represents an aspect of myself that I want to be reunited with. She represents self-love and self-acceptance. Finally, the flowers on the car symbolize perfection and spirituality. When I say I want that car, I am saying that is what I want for my life as cars symbolize life paths.

Considerations

I remain in a state of calm and balance today. I feel rested and well. I cannot stop thinking about how my dreams are suggesting I make a change in my life. I am not sure what this change should be and I realize a part of me fears failure and so I stay with what I know I will succeed at. I struggle to come to a decision about what I want. I seem to want nothing other than to feel the way I felt in that last dream.

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Left Behind

I had a very unusual dream experience last night. It was one of those dreams that continued even after I would awaken. I woke multiple times and when I returned to sleep the dream would continue.

Left Behind

I was awakened at 2am by my baby and tended to him for about a half hour or so. When I returned to bed I was irritated but managed to fall asleep after about a half hour of tossing and turning.

I fell into a dream of being on a school trip. I felt myself to be young, probably mid-teens and the trip appeared to be at a zoo or some similar outdoor themed park. I don’t recall much of the trip itself. It is the end that is the most vivid.

It had rained while we were preparing to leave and had stopped as we entered the parking lot where the bus and individual chaperone’s cars were parked. I had ridden with a couple of older ladies rather than take the bus so was heading toward their car being careful to avoid puddles of water when I suddenly realized I was not wearing shoes. I thought, “I forgot my shoes!”  I turned and began to head back to the park but only got half way because I saw that the parking lots was clearing out really fast. Suddenly concerned I may miss my ride, I ran back where I had been calling out to the women as I did. When I got to the place I had been previous the parking lot was almost completely empty. There was a few cars scattered here and there but there were none from my group.

I looked around suddenly aware that I was very much alone. I felt a myriad of emotions – fear, upset, nervousness, anxiety, abandonment, hurt. I scanned the parking lot for familiar faces and saw none. Then I looked for my phone in my purse, hoping to call and get them to turn around and get me. But it wasn’t there. I had left it in the car. My heart sunk. I knew they would probably assume I got in the bus or went with the other chaperones, so not miss me and just continue on home. I felt completely helpless and began to pace the parking lot.

I got the idea to ask one of the few remaining people if I could borrow their phone. A man let me borrow his. It looked identical to mine. When I began to try and use it, though, I could not figure out how. I tried typing in the number of my own cell and found the keys were in hand written form and when I punched in the numbers they came out all wrong. The owner of the cell finally asked me if he could type them in for me and so he did as I told him my number.

The phone rang but no one picked up. I left a message and waited.

I was there so long that the parking lot became empty and no people remained. The only light was at the corner of the lot near a side street. The rest of the area was very dark and though I was not afraid of the dark, I lingered near the light because that was where I would most easily be seen.

After hours of waiting and enduring massive amounts of anxiety and “what if’s”, I finally saw the old beat up brown station wagon pull up. The two women were inside and said, “There you are. Get in”. I got in but yelled at them saying, “How could you leave me! Did you get all the way home before you realized I was left here?” The driver said, “Yes. We thought you were in the other bus”. I sat in the back and sulked, finally allowing myself to calm down and feel relief. I remember finally feeling like I was safe but worrying how long that safe feeling would last.

Kidnapped

I awoke crying and upset over the dream. I had awakened a couple of times during it and it kept coming back. I finally asked to not have that happen again. Unfortunately, I ended up in another, similarly upsetting dream sequence.

I was walking from my old childhood school to another nearby school. I was an adult and had returned to the school as a teacher and was reliving memories as I walked from one familiar place to another.

I came to a school that was built into a mountainside. It was very cool looking and I was instantly interested. I went inside and ran into the principal there. She and I spoke and she asked me about myself. When I told her I was a teacher she began to try and sell the school to me and eventually told me the salary, how to apply and the days worked. I remember she showed me that I had no vacations. I had to work every day of the year and get paid the same amount as I already made. I was instantly not interested, thanked her and left.

I wandered near a bakery by the cafeteria. A couple of plump ladies were making breads and asked me if I wanted to help them with the last ten. I helped by rolling the rolls in powdered sugar and talked with the ladies and another woman helper.

Out of the blue, a man came in and locked all the doors. He then took me and the other lady prisoner. For some reason my husband was there and taken prisoner, too. He then decided he would rape me in front of my husband. I don’t recall the actual rape but I remember being embarrassed that my husband had to watch and feeling sorry for him. He then targeted another person, a small child of about 8 years old. I remember feeling I was 14 years old at the time and being very protective of her. I put my whole body over her to shield her and he left her alone.

We were trapped for a long time but I managed to escape when a maid unlocked the door and left it that way. My husband followed as did the other woman (who had been the child before). During this part of the dream I continued to awaken and return to sleep, each time having another portion of the escape play out in my dreams. We hijacked a school bus, crawled through snow and even had a flat tire at a truck stop all to avoid this man who was hunting us.

Reflection

I awoke feeling a bit overwhelmed by my dreams. Not only does the first dream suggest I am struggling with feelings of aloneness and isolation but it seems I am also struggling with some other fears. The second dreams is symbolic of feeling forced into a corner, one that is unfair and unwanted. It also symbolizes how I have been trying to escape the uncontrollable situation: by running. Throughout the dream I feel pursued by a man who wants to do me harm and imprison me. He didn’t catch me in the dream but he did keep catching up to me and I never could get far enough ahead of him to feel at ease.

I keep hearing a song in my head. It’s Flaws by Bastille. The main part of the song that keeps repeating in my head is, “Let’s finish what we started”. It has been going over and over in my head and driving me a bit nutty. The message seems clear: Stop running from yourself and let’s finish what we started.