Tag Archives: consciousness

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Breaking Free and OBE

I spent much of the day yesterday going through my old journals and blog posts in order to identify how many lucid dreams and OBEs I’ve had over the years. I entered it into an OpenOffice spreadsheet while also reading through various entries.

Later that evening I went out with my husband and had a couple of glasses of wine. I regretted it almost instantly and even more so later in the night because I was unable to fall asleep.

I tossed and turned most of the night, my thoughts upon my journal entries and a strange, nagging feeling I could not decipher. Around 2am the source of the feeling revealed itself.

Cocoon

Firstly, I noticed how disconnected I was from what I had written over the years. All feeling was absent as was the memory of most of the experiences I described. It was as if someone else lived my life. Next, I was quite disturbed by just how little progress and change I have made since 2003. The cyclic patterns of my life just keep on going. Over and over and over. I seem never to learn and I forget so easily the lessons I do learn and then end up re-learning them later as if my mind was wiped clean of the lesson. I have the same complaints, the same high’s and low’s, the same fixations. Finally, there was a feeling that something about these patterns directly relate to my level of conscious awareness.

Somehow, for some reason, I have never really been connected to this life or this body. It has been a dream all along and so much resembles a dream upon analysis that I cannot avoid the reality of such a conclusion.

I wondered to myself, “Where have I been?”

I then recognized what the odd feeling was. I felt to be trapped inside a very small, confined space. I desperately wanted out. I needed to get out. It felt as if I could move somewhat; push out an arm here, a leg there. Yet no matter how hard I struggled there was something constraining me.

butterflyIt was then that I saw it: the cocoon. And a new feeling along with knowingness came over me suddenly. I was about to break free of it and what would emerge would be so very different from what went in.

For a moment I was worried. What will emerge? Will it be me? Or, like the butterfly, will I be totally different?

There was a mixture of both nervousness and elation at the thought. I felt my guide close and I knew he was reveling in what was transpiring. I sent forth a mental query and he responded with, “What do you feel?”

It’s All a Construct

That is when I knew. It is all a construct. All of it. Me. The Earth. The Universe.

But what does that mean? Why is it that I am only now recognizing this?

I have been asleep this whole time! I thought I was aware but my awareness is nothing compared to the awareness that I am, that is available and can be tapped into. What I have here, in this lifetime, is like a tiny pinprick of light in a universe of darkness.

I became temporarily overwhelmed. “It has all been a ruse”, I thought. “This life that I have been living, blindly wandering through, is a trap. Who created it? I don’t know, but I am not at all interested in continuing on this way”.

I knew to escape this trap I needed to break free of the mind. I knew I had been lost in it, consumed with it and its pictures and emotions. I focused on my heart the best I could. I had to live from the heart in order to break free of this cycle. It was the only way.

I also had to be in the body. I have not been in it. I have been away from it often. In and out. In and out. Like when we dream, the specifics are lost and only symbols remain; left to be decoded and interpreted.

I should be able to remember every minute, every second, of my life. It should be distinctly real. But what is real?

Lucid to OBE: Visiting Multidimensional Me’s

I fell into an odd slumber, though I am not even sure “slumber” is the right word. I was completely aware of what was going on and felt more to be in the in-between than anything. However, it was obvious that a “dream” was occurring and I was in the midst of it while also being outside of it.

I traveled to many places, places I had been before while OOB and in dreams. I recognized these places and identified them to my guide along the way. Upon recognizing the places, I also recognized myself in these places. A different Self in a different life. I saw several lives like this and saw similarities and differences. It was like I was seeing the hundred faces of Me.

In between visits I had conversations with my guide. The scenes would be there but I would be removed from them in a separate space with my guide. I said to myself and to him, “It’s like a carnival mirror” and in my mind an image was clear as day. There I was, standing and facing a mirror and looking at the reflections of hundreds of Me’s looking back at me.

The spokes of the turning wheel were all me, branching out in different directions. This was multidimensionality, all of it was Me.

Confused, I pulled out of the scene and instantly found myself OOB. I knew I was OOB but my vision was suddenly completely gone and, though I could sense my surroundings, I was fumbling around blindly, feeling very distraught about what had been revealed to me.

Who am I, then? What will happen next?

I called out to my guide while OOB. What does it mean? Where are you?

It was not long after that I willed myself back to my body. When I came back into it the energy was jagged, almost painful. My body felt alien and rigid. I wondered briefly if it was about to die. Was my rejection of the repetitions of life, of the trap of the body, causing the body to reject me?

My heart was doing odd flip-flops and I felt I might be sick. I rolled over and the energy settled and I felt better. I fell into a fitful sleep after, waking at 5:30am and not getting more than a few hours of rest. I knew, though, that I didn’t need it.

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Consciousness Crescendo – Message from the High Council

There will be soon a climax in consciousness that will be experienced by the many on Earth ascending at this time. It is so called a climax because there has not yet been such consciousness levels reached in these individuals until now. This is the culminating event in an ever building schematic previously laid out eons ago for the transcendent evolution of mankind.

In this event a superior knowingness will seem to descend upon those ready for such an experience. It will feel much as if your physical mind expands beyond a limit yet to be experienced. Your origins and purpose will again be revealed but this time with more definition and specificity. The gaps that were there before will be filled in and a pervasiveness of it will endow you with much of your Self which you have lost over countless incarnations.

Additionally, a calmness will overtake you that is such that you will feel ever more comfortable in your surroundings, in your physical vehicle and in your purpose. A dream-like quality may accompany this and a sense of homecoming that many of you have been seeking your entire lives will be palpable.

This climax in consciousness comes after a period of quiet and seemingly disconnect from Source. This in itself was an illusion set up in part due to the effects of the Egos return to the forefront during a time of adjustment and transition. There is a pattern in this process that you may now be noticing. Such patterns exist so that the full transformational effects can be felt and processed without resulting in supreme overwhelm of the mental mechanisms of the body. The physical vehicle is only capable of so much and should not be pushed beyond its limits. To do so would encourage sudden illness and dysfunction therein. Even with precautions, many have been experiencing physical alterations at varying degrees throughout their transformation. Therefore, do not be disappointed when this powerful and sublime crescendo, decrescendos, and leaves you wanting for more. The true test is in recognizing the illusion of its departure.

As always, we remind you to tune into the heart center and avoid the mind’s over-analytical tendencies. Trust the process. Give into the process. Release your fears, doubts and insecurities and this consciousness crescendo will shift you into the next level.

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Halfway Point

I am halfway there. “There” being completely merged with my Higher Self.

How do I know this? This is what my Council tells me. It is with certainty that I know it to be true. There is so much more certainty now and so many changes materializing within me. I feel like a part of me has been freed from confinement. I feel like jumping with joy and yelling “Hallelujah!”

I wish I could accurately describe in words what is happening, what I am experiencing, but the words escape me. It is a feeling that is indescribable yet it feels so familiar, so true. It feels like I am finally becoming Me!

The calm feeling has not left. I don’t know how long it has been but it has been so normal in my daily like that I am wondering if I will ever be the old me again. I literally can see that me going away. She is vanishing. I am experiencing a vanishing of my old self. Right. Now.

I can tell you what I notice that is so different. The following is a list of the changes that are occurring:

  • My mind is quiet.
  • My emotions are stable more than varied.
  • I no longer have pangs of anxiety in my stomach or that “sinking feeling” I use to get with “bad” news.
  • I experience moments in waking life as if I am the observer.
  • I am remembering more of myself (hard to explain).
  • I am getting more “downloads” day and night and and I am noticing when this occurs.
  • I have more space; I feel expansive.
  • I spend more time in the present moment and less in the past or future.

I feel deeply connected to everything. This is the expansiveness, the space, I speak of. This connection seems to enhance my connection to my Council and Higher Self. The “downloads” (don’t know what else to call them) happen infrequently but when they do I find I am overcome with a feeling of being “paused”, like time stops in that moment. Then I “open up” and there is an expansion of awareness, an understanding that cannot be put into words, and I feel a recognition and appreciation for the experience. When it is done, it lasts only perhaps a minute or so, I feel changed though I cannot explain how.

I am told that I will soon become aware of being aware. I am also told to not worry, that this part is “easy” and though I once doubted that it would be, I am starting to think this is probably the easiest I have had it since the kundalini energy first started rising last year.

It is funny, but I am excited, though on the outside you would think I was calm or maybe contented, but definitely not excited. That is probably the most amazing part of this part of the experience for me – the level emotions! The roller coaster seems to have disappeared. But this does not mean I don’t feel, I just choose to feel what I want to feel and back off from what I don’t want to feel. Honestly, I don’t know how I am doing it and when I try to think about how it could be that I am suddenly so different, my thoughts never materialize past a mild curiosity. I note it and then, pleased, go back to silence.

I have so much more silence. I never thought my mind could be so quiet.

This is amazing!

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Awareness Triangle

I have reached a plateau energy-wise. The amazing shot of blissful energy has now pervaded my being and is leveling out. This is my new Normal and I am told now that We will work on adjusting to it and using this New State to make adjustments to living Life.

Dream: Awareness Triangle

I had a very deep, almost dreamless sleep last night. I recall various images of symbols and words connected to Consciousness and Awareness throughout the night. In one image there were two words side by side written in bold letters. One word, Consciousness I think, had a large triangle associated with it. The outlines of this triangle were bold but the triangle was not upright but upside down, the tip pointing down. This triangle then moved from Consciousness to the other word, which I believe was Awareness. This represented to me a transfer of one to the other as the triangle continued to pass from one to the other and more triangles followed.

I believe there is deeper meaning to what I was shown so if you know of this Triangle of Awareness please share it with me.

Dream: Choice and Discipline

In another more normal dream sequence I was at “work” and browsing through a large shelf that contained varying objects – clothes, shampoo, perfume. I perused the items, finding a shampoo. Unfortunately, I left and when I returned someone had taken my chosen shampoo.

While away I was at the buffet picking out my breakfast. What was for breakfast but apple pie! I put some on my plate as a supervisor approached me. He said, “You are a tutor, correct?” I replied, “Yes”. He said, “You don’t need to change into your uniform to day. We will be having a meeting”. I briefly recalled my uniform which resembled a nurses uniform and nodded.

I went into the room where the meeting was to be held but no one was there and it was completely empty. I stood there for a while and a man walked in. He was a tall, blonde, good-looking fellow and his eyes showed great awareness and interest. He spoke in pleasantries and I tried not to look at him too long. I felt he was interested in getting to know me but for some reason I was not interested.

I began to walk away and turned and said, “Nice to meet you…oh, what is your name?”

He replied with a name that I don’t remember now but it started with a “T” like Trevor.

I said back to him, “Hi!” and gave him my name.

Interpretation

I entitled this dream “Choice and Discipline” because it is clear to me that I was being asked to participate in change and that it was always my choice to do so. The specific change, symbolized by the shampoo, is related to clearing out old thoughts and attitudes and replacing them with new ones. This, of course, takes discipline on my part as I will be made aware of the changes that need to be made and will need to be disciplined in taking the appropriate action every time. In doing this, I develop new patterns of thinking and my attitude will change as a result.

I am told that as my awareness increases I will be asked to take on the role(s) I intended for this life. In some cases I am already in these “roles”, as represented by the “tutor” in my dream. However, in other cases I will be asked to take on roles in life that may be difficult for me to accept because they are outside my comfort zone and involve risk which can be quite scary.

Invitation

If you read my recent message from Horace, then all the information presented in this post is related to that message. If you are in a similar position as I am, meaning you are also working on conscious awareness, then you may also find that you experience similar changes to my own. If so, then I welcome you to join me in this journey. It is always easier to experience change in the company of others like yourself.

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Conscious Awareness Upgrade – Message from Horace, Emissary of the Council of Many

Your conscious awareness is being upgraded. You will find yourself more and more Aware of your Self, your Body, and your Thoughts while in this Body. You will see directly how you are a great manifestor of Reality. This is your Goal while here in this Body, in this Lifetime.

You area a great manifestor. Remember that. You Create. You Change. You Destroy. Then you Create again. All this originates with Thought.

You are a Great Manifestor. Remember that.

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To the Moon

With all the excitement of my kundalini experience the other night (12/12/14) I almost forgot all about the OBE I had afterward. I specifically asked to astral. Never did I think I would astral to a place I actually intended to go!

To the Moon

I found myself in becoming more and more lucid from within a dream. I was alone in a room with very high ceilings. The walls were white and a huge screen took up the entire left side of the room. I was floating near the edge, looking over some railings at the room and taking it all in. I concluded that I must be in a theater.

I began to look closer at the screen to my left. In the center was the moon. It took up a large part of the screen and appeared to be 3 dimensional. I could see all of space spread out behind it – stars, galaxies, nebulae – all in vivid color. I was curious. Was it a picture or was it real?

I decided to fly out to it but became a bit concerned. Could I fly? Was this really a dream?

I floated up quickly and headed toward the screen. I then began falling quickly downward, so I grabbed onto the top edge. Then I realized I would not fall and that I was being silly. I let go and floated there right in front of the screen and the humungous moon. I touched the flat surface and the moon suddenly appeared more like a painting than a realistic picture.

At that moment I was certain I was OOB. With that, I felt energy build up within me. I felt like I was going to burst with excitement. I took one last look at the screen and then effortlessly flew into it.

I came out on the other side and found myself in the middle of space. In front of me was the moon, full and glorious. It was vividly white and bright and I could not help but want to fly toward her.

My awareness grew exponentially.  Maybe it was the amount of energy I was feeling or the fact that I had just experienced kundalini, but at that moment I felt powerful.

I felt my Higher Self call me back away from the scene and I immediately was sucked back into my body. I did not take much time to wake up. I obviously had done something wrong, or at least that is what it felt like.

Intention Set and Accomplished

It was not long ago that someone mentioned their OOB trip to the moon in one of the FB groups I am a member of. I recall thinking, “I want to go to the moon!” But I was worried I would freak out because outer space always feels so large and dominating to me. But I set the intention anyway. Why not?

I did not specifically set the intention to go to the moon that particular night, but the intention was set. That is how it works for me, anyway. I do not have to ask for something every night. I just ask once and then usually I eventually get it. I just wish I had actually gotten to the surface of the moon. Unfortunately, I did not specify what I wanted to do except to think, “I want to go to the moon”. And that is what I got.

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Test Preparation

My mood last night was very high. This was in complete contrast to how I felt when I awoke yesterday morning, so it was very nice. I was so awake that I struggled to fall asleep. Thankfully the meditation and self-healing work I did helped calm me down.

Dream Discussion

I had one very vivid dream that I recall from an otherwise very deep night of sleep.

In the dream I had gone to lunch with my best friend from high school. She seemed very unemotional while we were talking, almost as if she were holding a grudge against me. I, on the other hand, was very upbeat and happy, talking very fast and ignoring her odd mood.

We were sitting face to face and I was telling her about how I was going to start back on my weight lifting regime. I was explaining to her how I had been lifting successfully for one year when I found out I was pregnant and had to give it up and lose everything I had worked for. I was really proud of my accomplishments, discussing with her how I planned to start again, taking it in small steps. She did not seem too interested but I ignored this.

We continued to talk about other things, but most are lost to me now. What I distinctly remember is her and I discussing abortion. This is the friend whom I discussed in depth in another post. She had an abortion during her first marriage and regretted it later. I recall that I told her, “I don’t want to discuss the subject in depth but I take neither side in it. I can understand both sides”. As we talked about it, we went outside to the back yard and there was a small patch of grass with a very tiny hole in it. It was a one hole golf course! I told her that I had it there for my daughter to play with and sometimes she fell in (the hole was in a spot of ground connected to a tunnel that gaped open) but I would pull her out. I laughed about it, as if it were no big deal. My friend, on the other hand, seemed to get more and more serious about the subject as I talked.

Feeling her disapproval I recognized something about my past self. I had always attempted to make others happy and if I found that our views differed, I allowed them to be right by supporting them and even changing my own views. So, in the past, had someone asked me about abortion I would have learned what their viewpoint was and agreed with it being very careful so as to not make them upset by revealing my own, true views.

In seeing this about myself I cheerfully told her, “I will not tell you that I am against abortion. I am neither for or against it. It all depends on the situation. I will not change my views to make you happy”. These were not my exact words. I actually was much better at articulating what I meant in the dream. Basically, I told her about my decision to be proud of who I am and not adjust my views or Self to please others.

My friend accepted this and the discussion shifted. She seemed tired still, as if life had taken everything out of her and she had little left of herself. She brightened, though, for a minute and told me, “I am another year cancer-free. I beat the cancer”.

Upon hearing this my entire being filled with love and I told her, “I knew you wouldn’t die from it. I hope you know how important you are to me”. I hugged her and filled with such intense emotion that I began to cry. I woke up crying, still feeling the love I felt for my friend.

Upon waking I recognized I had overcome a very big obstacle in recognizing my own tendency to change for others.

little-angel-wallpaper_1280x1024_78423Test Preparation – OBE

I woke up and was wide awake for some time. Since I knew I could sleep in more I stated, “I want to go OOB”.

I felt more comfortable on my stomach and so lay in that position and fell asleep.

I recall dreaming for a while about arriving to work early. I knew I didn’t need to be there until 10am, yet I was there at the early time before things get moving. I saw my boss and another counselor talking and saw that they were holding test materials in their hands. I thought to myself, “I can help. I wonder if they want me to help them”. As I thought this, the other counselor turned and looked at me and gave me a look like, “You can’t help with this”.

Then I became somewhat lucid and was aware that I was laying in my bed and sleeping. I witnessed two individuals in the room with me. There was a male and a female. They were in the corner of my room and preparing for a test. I remember the man was being asked questions by the woman. He was reciting back to her something that resembled ancient literature. I wish I could remember what he was saying now as it feels very important! The woman would ask him something and each time he would recite back long amounts of information back to her. This went on for some time. The longer it went on, the more interested I became in it.

As if they knew I was becoming more and more interested and aware of what they were doing, they both turned their attention to me and told me they were preparing for the “test”. The test felt to be a major one similar to what schools give to students to determine if they have learned what they are suppose to in a specific subject area. In actuality, “we” (the male figure and I) were preparing for the test. I understood this without being told. It was at this point that I told them, “I want to go OOB”.

They continued to talk and prepare for the test and my attention turned inward. I was very highly aware of myself and my energy. I was also focused upon my intent to exit my body. I analyzed my energy and remember thinking, “I can exit now” and knowing/hearing, “Not yet. Wait”. I continued to sit in the energy and felt it pulse through me and shake. I am positive now that these feelings were the vibrations many feel when they are about to exit their body. They were very muted to me though I could tell that my energy was superimposed over my physical body and it felt to be moving up and down and side to side at the same time. This recognition of the vibrational frequency was very apparent to me at the time and I felt as if a part of myself were very adept at determining the exact right time to exit. I want to also say that I felt to be of two parts and the part that knew what it was doing was very obviously being listened to. This is a  HUGE win for me!

I (my Earth self) was very eager to get OOB. I (my Higher Self) remember mentally settling her, almost like reining her in like one would do to a horse ready to take off and run. I (my Earth self) was given permission to test my readiness to exit. So I kicked my feet and felt resistance. “There is no wall up against my bed!”, I thought. The movement of my astral legs out of my physical body was very distinct and I knew I could exit. With one smooth action, I rolled to my right and landed on the floor next to my bed.

The instant I hit the ground I felt very heavy and cumbersome. My eyes were open and the scene was light, not dark, but very shifty as if it were shimmering (if you watch the Lord of the Rings movies it looked like what Frodo saw when he put on the ring and was invisible). It took all my effort just to get up on my hands and knees and will myself to crawl. I instinctively knew I should not attempt to stand up. My energy was very low. I then stated, “I need more energy”. As soon as I did this it felt as if someone let go of invisible reigns and the heavy feeling lightened. I stayed on my hands and knees, though, because I sensed I still was not quite ready to stand up.

I felt as well as knew that I should focus on my breath. I also worried slightly after my last choking experience that I would not be able to breathe. I took two deep inhales and felt the breath come in and go out with ease. With each breath I felt lighter and more able to move.

I looked ahead of me intent on the door and leaving the room. I grabbed hold of the doorknob and twisted. It would not budge. I twisted again. Nothing. I had a thought, “It is locked. I won’t be able to get out”. Then a counter thought, “It will open”. I twisted the knob again and it gave way. The door opened!

I crawled out the door. As soon as I crossed the threshold I lifted up into the air and dropped my “body”. I was a ball of thought and whirled down a brightly lit hallway that had a golden hue that seemed to paint the otherwise white walls.

The hallway opened up into an unfamiliar living room. It was brightly lit and nicely furnished. The scene shimmered almost as if it were a holographic image and I took note of it. To my right was a large entertainment hutch that covered the wall. I was aware that it contained a t.v. but did not see it. My focus was upon the little girl who was standing in front of me, wide eyed. She appeared to be a toddler, about 18 months old, with short, wispy blonde hair. I thought she could be my daughter when she was little. She sure looked like her. I went toward her with a friendly smile and reached out to her saying, “Hello!” She responded by shrinking back some. She obviously did not know me. Who was she?

Unperturbed, I turned toward the entertainment system wanting to look at myself. There appeared before me a large mirror with a gold leafed frame. I got up on my tip toes to take a look at myself. I saw my face and for some reason wanted to see my body. I remember thinking, “I am naked” and then confirming I was by seeing my breasts in the mirror.

Happy with what I saw I turned to look for the little girl. She had gone to the side of the room and was looking at me. I remember speaking to her again, trying to get her to come to me. She wouldn’t move. So I began dancing and acting all silly (this always gets my kids to open up) and I heard a familiar song playing, “Let’s finish what we started” (Flaws by Bastille). I sang along and danced away happily. The little girl just watched me from the corner.

When I finished dancing I felt another presence in the room. I looked in the other corner of the room. Sitting in a recliner and looking at me was what appeared to be an older woman. Her hair was streaked with gray and cut short. I recognized her to be someone kind and safe, a caregiver to the little girl. I went over to her and she and I locked eyes. Her eyes were steely blue and intense but her communication to me through them was to come closer.

I got closer to her and we embraced. I realized that though her hair was gray, she was in fact much younger than I thought. She continued to look at me, her eyes piercing. I knew she wanted to kiss me and though I felt a bit uncomfortable I allowed her to. I showed her I was naked (I was proud of this for some reason) and she nodded approvingly. She looked me up and down as I sat in her lap (I was big but sitting in her lap like a child would). She said to me, “It looks like you are ready for next week”. I was thrown off by this statement for a moment but answered, “Yes”, a part of me recognizing this to be true but not registering what it meant. The woman pulled me close and began to suck on my left nipple. I felt embarrassed for some reason but did not withdraw because I could feel energy entering through my heart chakra. The energy shot down into my root chakra and then began to rise up into my second. It felt nice. I knew the feeling would increase if I stayed, building and exploding out of the top of my head, but I was ashamed to be allowing this woman to do what she was doing. I remember thinking, “I don’t want this”. The instant I thought it I went back to my body.

I awoke still laying on my stomach and still feeling the lingering energy in my second and third chakras. I asked my guide, “What did I do wrong?” I instantly knew I had tried to take control, go against what my Higher Self wanted. Had I stayed I would have allowed my energy to ground and expand. That was what was needed. But I was afraid of how it might look to others, specifically those who would read my blog.

Considerations

I wondered upon waking what the message about next week was about. Then I remembered next week, next Friday, is the 12th. I was pleased that the woman, whoever she was, said that I was ready. I hope so.

It is interesting to me that I was able to recognize two distinct parts of myself during this OBE. I appear to be more in communication with myself than in the past and recognized that this part of me knew more than I did. I actually deferred to “him” rather than fighting against him. I listened.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 8

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 10:00pm

Time to wake: 6:00am, 7:40am

Meditation?: Yes

Physical Exercise?: Yes

Mood: Good

Body: headache, stuffy nose

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 2

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: stomach

Supplements: Multivitamin, 400mg vitamin E, 1000mg Biotin, 1000mg Evening Primrose Oil,  Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Benadryl 25mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg

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Madonna

Yesterday was a long day. We spent most of the day at my Mom’s for Thanksgiving and then went directly to the church to have another Thanksgiving there. We did not get home until late and then I could not fall asleep. I must have had too much caffeine. I drank mostly iced tea the entire day.

I felt my guide close and also sensed quite a few more in Spirit, about 9 total. I felt I needed to meditate and so I did, trying to quiet my mind. However, as soon as I would get to a quieted mind my guide would become more noticeable. Finally, I just listened to him rather than try to quiet my mind.

In my mind I saw a hand extended to me and felt I should take it. I reached out with my own mental hand and took it. When I did, I felt a surge in my heart chakra that lingered and expanded. It did not fill me up with the usual intensely, wonderful feeling, though. Instead, it felt blocked and dulled. I then began to feel an energy in my feet and legs. It was heavy and tingly. When I felt it, I instinctively began to urge it upward, slowly. I felt the energy slowly move up into my solar plexus and then into my heart but I could not get it to extend any higher up. I was able to get some energy to move up, but only small amounts. I knew this meant I had too many blockages.

I spent some time doing self-healing. I don’t know how long I spent, but eventually I must have begun to doze off because I suddenly had a vision of my baby struggling to breathe. It woke me suddenly and I flew out of bed. I checked on my baby and he was fine but I was wide awake and on mommy alert. Why did I get such a vision? Was this a warning that the “test” I have been dreaming of will be that I lose my baby to SIDS?

I could not go to sleep after that. I was a ball of worry and suddenly became super aware of how my body was feeling. I could not breathe out of one nostril and the other one was so dry it hurt to breathe. I also had a headache. I noted the time and it was midnight.

Continued Energy Work During Dreamtime

I slept fitfully and had odd dreams, most of which I cannot remember fully. I do recall dreaming of a friend from high school who I use to work with as waitress. She was being asked to go with two women. They appeared to be making sexual advances upon her at first but when I studied them closer, I realized they just wanted to have her company as a friend. I urged her to go with the woman even though she was very afraid for some reason. She left with them, looking back at me and I was filled with huge amounts of sympathy and could feel my heart chakra radiating energy out toward her.

In another dream I do not fully recall, I was driving a car down a road with high, white sides. It reminded me a tunnel without a top. I watched as a man in uniform slowly removed orange and white cones from a section of the road ahead of me. The section had two off-shoots, one to the right and another to the left. The left side had been opened up but the man was still removing the cones from the right.

As I approached I put on my brakes when I saw that the right tunnel had not been cleared of cones. I stopped completely and another person in a white sedan who I knew had been following me barreled through the right side, tossing the cones and then flying high up into the air. Her car collided with the concrete of a nearby building. When I looked up, I noticed the car had changed to a motorcycle. It was completely totaled but my friend was unharmed. When I approached her and asked if she was ok, she said she was and then said she had to get out of there before they found her out. Then her motorcycle was miraculously repaired and I jumped on and drove it down stairs. The stairs turned to slides and I followed them down for what seemed like forever.

I awoke at that point and could still feel the energy lingering in my heart chakra.

ThirdEyeMadonna – Lucid Dream to OBE

I fell back to sleep for some time and then awoke at 6am. My kids were up and noisy and I could not fall back to sleep. I put a pillow over my head and tried to sleep. I stated mentally, “I want to go OOB”.

The next thing I remember was sitting in a chair next to my bed. I heard music and a woman was next to me and then seemed to be all around me. It was dark and I could only see shadows of varying shades of gray. I sensed the woman more than I saw her and recognized that she was tapping headphones that were on my head. The music sounded like dance music and the beat was unfamiliar. The woman asked me, “Do you know this song?” I recognized her then as Madonna and I told her, “No. Sorry”.

I heard the music continue to play and recognized some of the words but most are lost to me now. The song was not one I had ever heard but I do recall hearing the word “star”. The Madonna woman then asked me, “Do you like my music?” I said, “I don’t usually listen to your kind of music but I am starting to”.

Then I was out of the chair and the “Madonna” woman was in the chair. I was trying to see her more clearly but could not make out her face. She reached out to me and pulled me toward her and I sensed a sexual inquiry from her. I let her pull me close and hug me. I recall seeing her neck and noticing she was wearing earrings and a necklace. I looked at the necklace while she attempted to encourage me to kiss her. I did kiss her but something felt very wrong about it. It was then I knew I was dreaming and that I did not want this to for myself. I pulled away from her.

Now completely “awake” within my dream, I felt the woman’s presence change. It was still dark but I turned around to look and see who had replaced her as the energy felt masculine. I saw a man in her place and his energy suggested he wanted me to have sex with him. He came towards me and I let him get close enough to touch me. I looked at his face and saw his features were angular and he had blondish hair that was cut short. He reminded me of someone but I did not know who. He did not say anything to me but I could feel his intentions. They felt odd to me, like he was hiding something of his intentions and I knew quickly that he was a sexual deviant of some kind and that he was not someone I wanted to be around.

At that time I also recognized I was standing right next to my slumbering physical body. I was so close that I could feel the pull of it and I kept thinking I needed to get away from it. The man continued to will me toward him but I did not like the way he felt and wanted nothing to do with him. I decided at that point to get away from my slumbering body and the man so I went to the bedroom door. I tried to open it but found that the doorknob was on the wrong side of the door. It took me a while to realize this but when I did, I opened the door, went out and down the stairs. I could feel the man behind me and a part of me looked behind me while another saw straight in front of me (I think this is the 360 degree vision people speak of having in astral). I moved so swiftly that I do not recall seeing the stairs at all. I just recall being downstairs and seeing my two oldest children watching television.

I went out the front door and down several steps. These steps are not there in real life so I am not sure what house I was in, but it was not mine. I stopped in my tracks when I was confronted with a completely different place than I expected. The residential street I assumed I would be on was replaced with a very urban street lined with brightly lit up buildings that stretched for miles in both directions. The place was familiar and I knew far to the right was a tall, silver building that towered above all the others. The sky was clear and I could see thousands of stars spread out in front of me. It was as if the sky went on forever! The air was crisp and my vision was crystal clear despite it being dark. I was overcome with awe as I took it all in.

I instantly wanted to stay there as long as I could and so looked down at my hands to try and increase my awareness. I looked down not knowing what to expect after finding gloved hands in my last OBE. I only saw my hands, just as they appear in real life. There wasn’t even any glow to them. I found this peculiar but did not let it bother me.

My vision remained crisp and I took note of how real and solid everything felt. Had I not known I was OOB I would have thought I was awake! I looked from my hands to a large building across the street. It looked like a very pricy, old hotel from another era. It was lit up with yellowish lighting and was a spectacular sight. I wanted instantly to explore it.

As soon as I set the intention to fly over to explore the building I felt my conscious energy coalesce into a mental ball. I did not feel my astral form at all. It was as if all of my consciousness was a mass of energy. The mental me was pulled upward as if through a siphon and there was a force that built up as my consciousness rose up. I had no control of this it seemed and went quickly upward and then into my sleeping body. I did not even feel the familiar settling of energy like normal. I was just instantly back in my body and fully aware.

Considerations

Upon waking I had a headache and was very thirsty. I also felt like I had been sleeping in a bad position as my lower body was stiff. I began to think of the short OBE I had an how weird it was. I thought about not writing it down because it seemed so boring but I thought perhaps I should focus on how lucid I felt and the senses I was able to utilize.

My perceptions are mostly limited when I am OBE. I usually have vision, sometimes clear sometimes not so clear. I also often can feel others and objects without a problems. Taste is also not usually an issue but is not often used unless I am eating something. Hearing is almost nonexistent. I hear most everything in my mind. External noise is a consciousness trigger for me and usually pulls me back into my physical body quite quickly. I have heard some amazing things OOB but it has been a long while. The music I heard in this experience was muted but I did hear it. I do not recall using my sense of smell often, but I have smelled things. For example, in one OBE I smelled the rain and felt it as it hit my body. I also heard it as it came down, a quiet trickling sound. This was one of my OBEs where every one of my senses was utilized. I would have given it a 10 on lucidity.

I recognize that this OBE was one of the few where I was quite lucid and was increasing in awareness very quickly. I believe this happened too quickly which is why I came back into my body the way I did. I was super aware of my energy and how it moved and then it was as if no transition at all occurred when I reentered my body. I was simply “awake”.

The recognition of myself as energy rather than a body was also interesting to me. I have only felt the “siphoning” feeling once and it scared me. In that experience I was sleeping when suddenly I was awakening by feeling my consciousness being siphoned upward and out of my body. I felt like liquid energy dripping upward and out of my body. I recall thinking I was dying and freaking out. I have never felt that again until this morning’s experience but this one was in the opposite direction, back into my body.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 5 increasing to 8

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: Midnight

Time to wake: 4:00am; 6:00am, 8:00am

Meditation?: Yes

Physical Exercise?: None

Mood: normal

Body: headache

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 3

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: Left side

Supplements: Multivitamin, Mineral supplement, Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Benadryl 25mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg

by

I am Home

It seems I have entered into a new pattern of awareness. That is the only way I can explain it anyway.

It started with the blood moon the beginning of this month and continues to accelerate. The major change has been most noticeable in my sleep patterns. I am not tired when I go to bed, yet when I close my eyes I almost instantly drift off to sleep. Then when I sleep, I sleep very, very deeply and often do not remember my dreams. Then, occasionally I will have a night where I have dreams galore but then cannot remember the details upon waking. Other times there are dreams that come out vividly seemingly from nowhere.

The other change has occurred in my waking awareness. I first had more calm and then it shifted to noticing things, synchronicities and deja vu amongst other things. Amidst these, noticeable, but gradual changes in awareness.

I have not been writing about everything that happens because if I did I would end up with posts so long no one would have time to read them. Also, I have come to realize that sometimes the things that happen to me need to be digested over time before their true meaning and significance is realized.

Test

This morning when I awoke I recalled a very long, in-depth dream. This surprised me since that has not been happening much this month.

The dream was set inside of a moving, armored, all-terrain vehicle. I almost want to call it a military tank but hesitate since I was on the inside and the feeling was not that I was going to war or anything of the like. I was sitting with a man who I admired quite a bit. He was my superior and I recall pushing back a romantic thought towards him, almost like I was internally reminding myself that was not my purpose for being there. He had on a helmet and was discussing flying, referring to me and a flight I would be taking as a newly trained pilot. I was listening and donned my own helmet. It was green and made of metal and covered my entire head. in front was a clear panel that covered the entire front of my face.

I remember feeling anticipation and nervousness as I listened to him. I knew this was an important step for me and I did not want to fail. This “test” would determine whether or not I was ready to pilot my own craft (what kind I am not sure).

The color green was very prominent in the memory of this dream as was the color silver which was the color of the metal vehicle I was in.

Mental Facility

Instead of the dream ending with me preparing for flight it actually fast-forwarded to another destination. I found myself standing in a line at a very large building built to hold many people. It was silver in color and very tall, so tall I could barely make out the top. It was square and also had a military feeling to it.

As I waited in line I was with a familiar group of people and I knew they were traveling with me. We were being processed by this facility to receive mental treatment. At first I thought it was a mental hospital but that thought was immediately replaced with “mental” as a stand-alone title for this place.

As I waited I looked down and saw soft, green grass all about. It was vibrant and separated the steel posts that designated the lines for for entrance into the building. I noticed very large animal feces all about and recognized it to be deer feces. I mentioned it to the guy I was standing with who confirmed they belonged to deer that frequented the place. I responded, “Those must be some very big deer. I sure wouldn’t want to come into contact with one of them!”

At the entrance I was expected to present my I.D. and sorted through my purse to get it. At this time I remember opening my wallet and finding huge amounts of money wadded inside. I retrieved my driver’s license and stuffed the money back inside, worried the people behind me might be watching and then want my money. I also felt guilty of having so much for some reason.There was one guy who was suspicious. A criminal?

When I got through to the other side, a woman kept my I.D. and gave me paperwork to fill out. I had to list the types of food I liked, my weight and measurements of my body. I could not answer all the questions and asked if that was okay. It was.

Inside we were placed into a dormitory together. I was with various individuals of all ages and genders, some family groups, others singles. We were waiting together and I was concerned about when and what we would eat and also concerned about my baby. I asked for milk and was told they had limited amounts of it and that I would have to use powdered formula. I took it but worried I would run out. I remember looking around with a feeling of uncertainty at this time. Finally, though, a gallon of milk was located and I had plenty for my baby.

Inside the dorm I went about making food with what provisions I could find. It happened to be beans. I began cooking them and found there was not much. A woman beside me began opening ground turkey. I asked where she got it and she told me the pantry. I immediately went to look and found canned food and such and began looking for ingredients to make a stew. I found a can of chitlins and was told to look twice. Realizing the can contained pork intestines, I put them back. For some reason they had a Hawaiian name and a Hawaiian man later came and got them to eat.

Pool

As if the dream were not already weird enough, it got weirder. I found myself with my group in the water of a swimming pool. I watched as a suited individual was pulled down into and under the water. She was wearing what appeared to be white, astronaut suit but it was really scuba gear. Under the water she became me and I breathed under water for a bit and then surfaced and looked about. I remember feeling very uniquely separate from the others at this point and a bit unsure of where I was and why I was there.

In the water the group was pairing off and one guy kept looking at me as if he wanted to know if I was interested. I immediately told him I was married (or did I think it?) and moved away from him. Not only was he unattractive but I just was not interested.

I heard something and looked up to see the instructor. He was discussing the training we were going through. I don’t remember now what he was saying but it was obvious that I was still in the “mental” facility going through some kind of training. Another interesting thing was that everyone was wearing white.

Promotion

Suddenly I was doing my laundry and standing in front of a washing machine. It was overfull and I was pulling out paper. It was paper used for wrapping presents and I was not sure how it got there. As I unloaded it to make the washer less full I was talking with a woman. I was able to get the load lessened and then my attention was brought back to the instructor who had just been at the pool side. He was addressing me and holding up a large tapestry of some kind. He opened it up and it was a commendation that had been sewed for me. It was the size of a quilt and was green and white. It very clearly stated that I was promoted to Captain. When he told me this I was intensely happy and surprised at once. The rest of the group was also very congratulatory. I kept looking at the tapestry and the word “Captain” continued to repeat in my mind.

Waking Messages

I awoke at this time. Fully awake without drowsiness, I realized it was very early and still dark. I don’t know what time it was but I suspect about 5:45-6a.m. This is the time I have been waking all week regardless of when I have to get up.

I tried to return to sleep but could not. So I went over the dream in my mind and wondered about its meaning. As I did, I must have drifted in and out of the state in-between sleep and wakefulness. It is a very deep meditative state that is easy for me to fall into upon waking.

During this time I would find myself conversing with someone and other times I would be in the act of doing particular things. The messages I received are difficult to remember now, which is not unusual, and I remember being reassured that I would remember what I needed to when I asked to remember.

One message was that I had three more levels. The other was simply the word “migraine” along with the image of the helmet I was wearing in the first part of the dream. This message immediately brought me to full awareness as I panicked a bit but then knew it was okay and purposeful. At this point I was hit with a calmness and knowingness that reassured me all was going as planned and caused me to not care about what it might mean.

The next thing I remember is doing yoga and realizing suddenly that I was, bringing me back to full awareness. I then began to “know” things but at the same time I was speaking to myself with certainty, but the voice did not seem like mine, yet it was. It is hard to explain. I was telling myself, “I am suppose to do this, that is what I was told to do”, and I began to do “it”. “it” was to meditate.

So that is what I did and I struggled with it because I kept being brought back to full awareness by things I was being told, triggered by my desire to remember, word-for-word, what I was “hearing”. I went back and forth between states for some time and finally the message got through to me – “Don’t focus on any one thing. You will remember what is needed.”

And that is when I let go and gave in. When I returned from this state, I did not remember everything and as I tried to remember I began to lose specifics very quickly. Yet I instantly began to know that what I was going through was purposeful and part of the process. The deep sleeping, the high energy in the day, the synchronicity, the deja vu, – all of it was part of the “ascension” process as was that movement from “level to level” as per the promotion to Captain in my dream. I also remembered what I had been doing before bed (I could not remember it before then). I had been saying to myself, “I am home” and I fully recognized that what I was longing for, this “Home”, is an illusion, much like everything else I experience in the physical. That Home is really me. Home is everywhere that I am. It is with me all the time and I can access it anytime. I went to sleep repeating to myself, “I AM HOME”.

Note: I am currently reading Confronting Your Immortality by Gordon Phinn. I highly recommend this book. I am in the middle of the book and have been reading it before bed the past few nights. It is from this book that I recognized how my beliefs have been limiting me, specifically my belief of what Home is.

by

Four Levels

Last night I had some very vivid dreams which included communication with one of my guides. I then ended up OOB for a short time.

4 Levels

The dream started inside a building that had a golden hue about it. It was also very clean and sanitary and reminded me of a hospital. I was with my best friend from high school as she appears presently and she was telling me about a stalker.

While with her I was transported in my mind to outside of the building and saw that it was indeed a very tall structure. I was talking with a female who I didn’t see and she seemed to be instructing me. We were discussing the four levels of the building. I was acutely aware that the floors had purpose. The top floor was reserved for those who were advanced and nearing the end of this incarnation. The levels below were based upon individuals’ progress in their current life. I was discussing people I seemed to know, saying their names and knowing their level. One woman’s name stood out to me. She was at the third level and her name sounded like “Ah-te” or similar. It sounded very foreign, almost Egyptian.The levels seemed very important and I was focused intently on them.

Then I was aware of being with my friend again. We were hiding from her stalker and we ended up in the bathroom of the first floor. I asked her what it was about, implying that a stalker only stalked because he was given reason to. She laughed and said she had not had sex but had done everything but. This shocked me as her relationship in present time is so perfect. I told her, “I would never do that”.

Then I was floating in this circular shopping area. The buildings of different shops were all around the perimeter and I was in the middle, the parking lot. It was deserted and dark. I flew up to a restaurant and saw it was owned by my friend and was doing quite well.

Then I was back with my friend who was laying down, her eyes closed. We were still on the first floor and the stalker was over her, looking down at her. I wondered if she was dying. The stalker lost interest and left.

I then found myself back in the shopping center. This time the business that was owned by my friend had gone under. In fact, all the businesses seemed to be out of business.

OBE

Suddenly I was very aware of my surroundings and my vision became crisp. I was very aware that I was OOB and thought, “I am asleep”.

I seemed to be in my grandparent’s living room. I looked down at the sofa and saw my husband sound asleep stretched out upon it. He was wearing only his boxers and his head was propped up on a pillow. I went closer, examining him with my eyes and feeling giddy, much like a child who is about to play a practical joke. I smiled and felt mischievous but not like in my other OBEs. “The child” was not present – I was very much myself, just a much happier, free version of myself.

I leaned over my husband, inspecting his face and listening to his breathing. He looked very peaceful. I then touched his arm gently and he shifted slightly. I rubbed the palm of my hand over his chest with more pressure, feeling the warmth of his body and smiling. He made a sound and I moved back and looked at his face. His eyes were closed and there was drool on his mouth. This made me laugh silently to myself.

I would have stayed longer but instead I awoke suddenly and was back in my body.

Considerations

As I lay in bed not wanting to get up, I thought about my dream and the OBE. I knew there was a message in it, but I could not put it into words. The levels were curious to me. What did they represent? Chakras? Levels of consciousness? And my friend and her cheating on her husband along with the failure of her “business” left me wondering. Could it be that I was recognizing that all thing pass and that things are not always what they appear to be? That is what the message seemed to be.

I tried not to take the message literally. I mean, I am not considering cheating or leaving my husband. Yet, I wonder if the cycle of my current life is coming to yet another end? Or perhaps I was just reflecting on possibilities? My OBE seemed so positive to me, as if I were relishing the time I have with my husband. Yet the feeling I had was of a friend who finds her friend sound asleep at a sleepover and wants to put shaving cream on his face, make him move and wipe it all over himself, then laugh hysterically, proud of my success. Even now I think how funny it would have been to have succeeded in startling him awake.

I wonder sometimes if this is what I am like when I am not in a body. Do I have this kind of relationship with my current husband on the Other Side? Are we good friends who like to play jokes on each other? I can imagine how our conversation would go upon a return from this life:

“Hey you!”, I would say, and punch him in the arm. “How did you like being my man servant this life?”

He would laugh and say, “What? Me?” Then he would think and say, “You know, I think we should be siblings next time around. Then we can really teach each other a lesson or two”.

Sometimes I really think life is just a big, ol’ game to us when we are not in a body. Puts a whole new twist to the saying, “Lighten up”.