Tag Archives: dream analysis

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Tooth Alignment

I slept deeply again last night. I am hoping this pattern continues as I am needing this break from OBEs, kundalini, and guide communication. It can get to be a little too much (never thought I would say that!).

My dreams are few and far between. Last night I had two I recall.

School Video

In this dream I returned to the old, 1920s era gym that was at my middle school growing up. There was a crowd there who were my classmates grown up. I was watching a video a classmate was showing the group. In it I saw myself from around 5th grade and it was clear as day. I remarked, “Mine (video) is blurry”.

The group was then playing volleyball together in the gym but I stayed on the sidelines saying, “I am not good at team sports”. The ball went into the gym once and I would not go in. I said, “You know it is haunted?”

As I was leaving a woman was freaking out in the parking lot. I saw her run away from a woman with short, gray-blonde hair who looked shocked. I instinctively knew the older woman had told the other woman something disturbing. I told the older woman, “You can’t just go up and tell people what you know/hear from Spirit. Some people can’t handle it.”

Tooth Alignment

This dream was strange in that I was at a dentist’s office but was not getting a procedure. Instead my teeth and mouth were being inspected by two dentists. One I never saw but knew was the primary one and the other was dark haired and the secondary dentist or partner. They were talking to me about aligning my teeth and I told them I didn’t want it done. I was pleasant about it and not concerned and neither were they. They inspected my teeth and told me about the procedure and how it was painless. I recall seeing in my mind the teeth being gently moved, like braces would do.

The dark haired doctor brought in a woman and her mother. I said, “Oh so since I am so easy you are going to work on someone else while I’m here?” I got the feeling they did not want to waste time but now I think they wanted me to see the procedure done on a willing patient.

The woman was my age and looked like she was from India – honey brown hair and skin almost the exact color of her hair. Her face was flawless and I remember looking really closely at her and hearing how she had the procedure done often. She was relaxed and her eyes closed, though she did take a peek at me.

When I was ready to leave the second dentist was asking me about my next appointment. He said he would be my doctor and said it would be $80. I said, “Well do you take insurance?” He indicated he did not and I said, “Well then I probably won’t come”. He appeared disappointed.

Interpretation

I awoke one time to my entire body shaking/vibrating but did not think much of it. I suspect I was OOB with my guides during these dreams, so that makes sense. The first dream is likely me discussing my past. Since the gym is haunted it could be there are some issues still related to school to work through.

The second dream is more interesting to me. I believe I was discussing whatever my next step is with my guides. Some kind of “alignment”. I am being stubborn about it and refusing and they are trying to convince me to do it. I am introduced to a different “doctor” as well. I was not distressed about it and my overall feeling is I just need a break right now so am waiting.

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The Daisy Room

I had that odd kind of sleep where in the midst of a dream I would suddenly wonder, “Do I have to work today? What day is it?” I would then slowly wake up out of my slumber trying to figure out what day it was and if I needed to get up early. Then I would fall back to sleep only to once again wake up within a dream from these thoughts.

I finally got up to check the time and found it was 5am. Being it was my third time to wake, I decided to try to sleep.

Snowmobile Ride

I found myself in a semi-lucid dream in which I kept trying to take over the dream. I was with my ex-husband and he was getting out a snowmobile to take me and my children in. I got in but was not excited. I held on and closed my eyes preparing for the crazy ride.

I felt myself being tossed about as we rode and then felt the snowmobile spinning really fast. I decided to open my eyes and was able to keep my baby from being tossed from the snowmobile.

At some point I became fully lucid and felt a large man in front of me. I thought it was my ex but when I opened my astral eyes to look his face was all golden light, morphing and moving. His energy was huge and surrounded me. I was not afraid, though.

I felt my root chakra activating and expanding and focused upon the feeling, willing it to move upward.

The Daisy Room

As I was trying to get the feeling to expand, I suddenly found myself standing in a store. It looked like one of those tourist shops one would find in an airport. A blonde woman was standing in front of me and chattering away. She had a golden hue about her, a huge smile on her face and was very beautiful. She was looking right at me and I was very, very aware of my surroundings and what was going on. This awareness caught me off guard and I stopped thinking about expanding the pleasant energy.

I heard her telling me that I was going to go to a place. I didn’t quite hear her well enough so I asked her, “What? Where am I going?” She replied, “You are going to the Daisy Room”. I wondered what she was talking about. What Daisy Room? What is the Daisy Room?

The woman then appeared to be talking to someone on a cell phone but I saw no phone in her hand. She said to them, “There was a scheduling error. Monday and Tuesday were wrong. She needs to…..”

I became overly aware at this time of the energy in my root expanding more and came out of the scene to full awareness in my body.

celestiaCelestia

When I awoke I immediately thought of the picture that was drawn of one of my female guides. A friend of mine had an artist do a rendering of this guide. The picture was entitled, “Celestia”, which I guess was the name given to the artist by my guide. When I saw the picture it was familiar to me and I thought of all the times I had seen a blonde woman with blonde hair cut in layers like from the 80s. She always reminded me of Jane Fonda. The woman I had just seen reminded me of her as well. Was this the same guide?

This is what was written with the drawing of my guide:

Celestia – angel of sunrise – indicates the vastness of my spiritual gifts

Brilliant energy patterns (like aurora borealis) on wings, gown – ever-changing.

Brings great strength and depth of spiritual gifts. Softness. Gentle soul.

9 crystals at throat are representative of dimensions from which info comes through (throat chakra needs empowered).

Figures around head represent souls crossed over who speak with messages of love and forgiveness.

Red “fire flames” are ascended master souls (who speak through Dayna).

Aura is fiery vibrant orange and gives power and passion.

Message Celestia brings:

To move forward face the energy. Let it swirl around you and caress you. The power of spirit is there, the power of love is there, the power of connection is there.

There is a great need to de-stress, as if standing on a mountain top and allowing wind to blow stress away.

Celestia wishes to encourage Dayna to embrace who she really is and “go higher”.

Expect children to have similar gifts!

I find it interesting the in this morning’s experience with the blonde woman that she told me I would be going to the Daisy Room. Daisy’s are symbolic of purity and innocence. It is a flower that opens up its petals in the early morning light and then closes them when the sun sets. It is the flower of Spring time and new beginnings. It’s petals also represent the rays of the sun. So, I don’t think it a coincidence that Celestia is called the “angel of sunrise” in the message attached to the drawing.

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New Shoes

Last night I slept much better than I have in quite a while mainly because I only woke up one time during the night rather than the three to five times that has been the norm for me. Interestingly enough I also recall a very vivid dream I had. I have not been having good dream recall at all.

Backpack and New Shoes

The first dream I recall started out in a shopping mall. I was with a woman friend but I don’t recall seeing her once in the dream, just hearing her. Someone showed me a backpack. It was unique in that it had ties for straps and they were see through and shimmery pink. I instantly thought of my daughter and wanted to see more so the woman showed me others. They were all very unique and different. Some in different shapes with varying straps and colors. I wanted to buy one.

I was taken into a shop and shown the racks of backpacks. I saw the price tag on one I liked. $150!! I was in shock. That was way too much in my opinion. I remarked such to the woman who said, “Everything in the store is 20% off”. I looked at the price tag of another bag and sure enough there was a red sale tag with $109 on it. I was still upset and said, “You just hiked up the prices!” I insinuated that they were price gouging and the woman said, “Everyone gets 30% off if they buy something today”. I was not interested.

I went to the other side of the store and browsed some clothes and shoes. A woman approached me with a pair of size 5.5 shoes. She asked, “Do you wear size 5.5?” I said, “I think they will fit me”. I sat down and she slipped a pair of flowered, feminine dress shoes on me. They were white with flowers on them. They fit me perfectly and I even showed her how I could lift my heel up easily. I was surprised because I do not wear such a small size. I then looked in the mirror and saw the shoes did not match my dress. I was wearing a nice, somewhat girlie white, flowered dress with a skirt that flared out and came to just below my knees. I told her, “I will need a pair of solid colored brown shoes for this dress”. I kept the shoes I had on, though.

girlyInterpretation

The fact that I am shopping in this dream indicates that I am considering my options in life. Backpacks also symbolize decisions but specifically ones that one feels weighed down by. They can also represent responsibilities that feel heavy or like a burden. When I am put off by the price of the backpack it likely symbolizes my own consideration that some option is too costly.

In general, shoes represent one’s approach to life. These shoes seem to indicate that I am open to a new approach, perhaps a more feminine one since the shoes are so petite and flowery. I am also wearing a dress which is feminine and flowery. I do not like to wear dresses in real life.

Library

In the next dream I went into a library to get a book. I was driving a very small car with only two seats. I believe it was red. I dropped it off inside the library waiting area and went to get a book. When I came out ready to leave, my car was gone. I worried over it and remember thinking that the car was not due to be returned yet, I had until the 21st. I paced for a while, worrying how I would get home. I called up my husband’s boss for a ride and she laughed and told me to just ask the front desk for my car back. I did and got the car back right away. Happy to get my car, I went to the restroom.

The restroom was off near the edge of the waiting room (which looked like a car showroom). The walls were gray and when I went into the space there were two people sitting behind a counter with a glass front staring at me like I did not belong there. When I went into the bathroom I saw in front of me black, metal cabinets containing row upon row of drawers that looked like they held video tapes or some similar kind of media. I felt out of place but spotted the toilet and did my business and left in a hurry.

I retrieved my car and left the library.

In Space

The next thing I remember is being with a group of fellow astral travelers. I recognized them and called them by name and there were a couple of names I remember even now. We were floating together in outer space just above the Earth. I was facing them with the Earth behind me. I can still see the glowing, multicolored globe of Earth shining behind me. It was huge and spectacular!

What is odd is that I was wearing some kind of breathing apparatus on my face. It was white and shaped like an oxygen mask and covered my nose and mouth.  It had a rubbery feeling to it which is still very real to me. Attached to the mask was this white tube that went down and disappeared below me. I don’t know what it was attached to but it seemed to flow and move about with me as I moved.

My fellow astral travelers and I were discussing something. I don’t know everything that we said, but they seemed to be trying to teach me something. While we were talking, a song was going through my mind. It was Riptide by Vance Joy, the part where he says, “I just wanna, I just wanna know. If you’re gonna, if you’re gonna stay”.

I recall that my mask fell off while I was talking to them and I became worried that I would suffocate. I began to frantically try to grasp for my mask in desperation. I watched as the white mask floated down below me. What is weird is that just the mask fell, the white tube seemed to stay.

The man in front said to me, “You can breathe. We are dreaming remember?” I heard him say this and nodded, relieved because I knew we were all OOB and would be okay. A part of me then recognized the white tube was a part of me. I am surprised that this did not cause me to awaken within my dream. Instead, it just woke me up.

Interpretation and Considerations

The library in my first dream represents the search for knowledge. I am likely looking for answers. Cars represent life stages or paths. In this case, my car is parked so I am thinking of putting my attention somewhere else. The fact that the car is then taken from me, or checked back into the library, indicates that a part of my identity is being let go of. Since I want the car back, it could be that I am changing my mind about a decision I made.

The bathroom represents feelings or burdens that need to be relieved or released. The fact that I saw cabinets suggests that I have much hidden within me that needs relieving.

Overall I feel this dream is about me deciding whether or not I want to invest more time and energy into my life. That is the feeling that comes with it and follows into the next dream where I am in space. The overall message is that I need to decide if I want to stay in this life or leave it. The song is a direct question put forth to me. I believe the white tube is symbolic of the silver cord that connects the astral body to the physical body. The oxygen mask suggests that I am feeling stifled and unable to handle the burdens of life, in effect suffocating and unable to express my feelings or find relief.

These dreams go along well with the feelings I have been having lately.

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Transference

I couldn’t sleep last night. After all the nights of deep, restful sleep, last night it was near impossible for me to sleep well. I didn’t fall asleep until around midnight and then when I would sleep I was haunted by uncomfortable dreams all of which included my mom, sister and her husband.

Monkey Attack

The first dream I had was the most unsettling. In the dream I was at my mother’s house visiting and my sister and her husband were there. My cousin (sister’s husband) was throwing one of his tantrums. He likes to pout and gets this really negative energy that hangs around him like a shroud. No amount of communication can get through to him. My mom and sister were both trying to get through to him and he had resorted to yelling. I got involved a little but I actually taunted him more than I helped the situation. I do remember his main complaint was with his in-laws (my mom and her new husband) and I had responded to this by saying I had a great relationship with my ex-in-laws. He didn’t like hearing this.

Both my sister and cousin went into separate rooms. My cousin went to bed in one room and my sister got on the computer in the other. I was going to go in her room to get my things when I realized I did not have my contact lens case or my stuff to stay overnight. I spoke to my mom’s husband about it, saying I did not want to drive all the way home to get those things and would prefer to stay the night.

He joined my mom in bed while I got ready to sleep on the sofa. It was then that I heard a pounding, putter-putter, sound coming from the window. When I looked up I saw a large black and white tomcat trying to get in through the window. I yelled to my mom about it but she stayed in bed. I then saw it go to her bedroom window and try to get in as well.

The cat returned to the kitchen window where I first saw it and had in its paws a small nail file which it was using to try and cut through the screen. I yelled to my mom, “Mom the cat is trying to get in still!”. No reply from her.

The cat was able to get in somehow and so I went to get it to put it back outside. When I did it turned into a large, black monkey with a squished-in face and beady eyes. It lurched at me and grabbed onto my right hand biting down hard. I could feel the pain in the center of my hand and yelled to my sister to get a banana to try and lure it away. The monkey looked at me fiercely, intent on attack and I knew it would go after me if I tried anything. I stared at it, fear hitting me as I realized the pain was not going away and neither was the monkey. The skin on my legs began to raise up in gooseflesh and it felt like a thousands needles pushing into my skin. It hurt pretty bad and I could still feel the monkey’s teeth in my right hand.

Transference

I awoke and the pain was real. My hand was not hurting as bad as my entire lower body which was covered in painful goosebumps. I have never felt such a sensation! It literally felt like each hair that was standing on end was a needle poking into my skin. I rubbed my hand, hoping movement would stop the pain but it did not. My hand gradually began to feel better but the skin sensation would not stop. I thought to my guide, “Is this what you mean by discomfort???” I got no reply.

Eventually the prickly pain subsided and I tossed and turned for a while. I began to doze off but kept wondering about the dream and the weird pain that came with it. My guide was near and I felt him wrap me in his energy and when he did my legs got the same prickling pain in them as they did in and after the dream except this time the pain was from my shins down through my feet. As it intensified the pain began to slowly move down my legs and out of my feet until it was gone.

Afterward I kept getting really, really hot to where I had to throw the covers off of me. Then, after a while, I would get cold and have to snuggle up. This kept me from falling asleep.

catMore Dreams

I somehow fell back to sleep only to continue dreaming about my family. In every dream my sister and her husband were having a disagreement. He was sulking or verbally lashing out and she was quiet and distant. My mom was always nearby either listening in or keeping her distance while staying nearby for support.

The most memorable dream of this sort was of us traveling together in a white Prius. I was driving and we stopped somewhere for a while. I went inside and they stayed in the car. I was late returning and they were all grumpy. My mother, who usually is set against what my cousin wants because of his behavior, was actually supporting my cousin. This upset me and I decided to leave them behind in the car. Ultimately, though, they just all pretended to sleep and I drove everyone home.

The symbolism in my dreams along with the subjects involved causes me to believe that there is an issue that is on-going that may be coming to a head soon. My mother and I spoke about the possibility of such an issue during my last visit so I would not be surprised if something is going on that I will soon hear about.

The monkey attack is curious as is the pain transference from dream to reality. I have never had pain come back with me from a dream. As for the monkey, according to http://www.dreammoods.com, to dream you are attacked by a monkey indicates a conflict between one’s playful and serious sides or that one is unable to keep their animalistic desires under control.

Cats have been common in my dreams for some time. I am still not 100% sure what the cat represents as it has so many meanings within a dream. Since I do not like cats much I assume it means I am avoiding my feminine side in some way but it could also mean misfortune. The black and white could be symbolic of yin and yang and this pattern is often associated with the cats I see in my dreams. It is interesting that the cat turns into the monkey as well. Perhaps my denial of my feminine side is going to get out of control?

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Cancelled

It has been a while since I have gotten any direct messages from my guides. It has almost felt as if I had been abandoned, though I know this is never the case. The entourage of 10 or 12 assistants/guides that have been with me since before December 12th recently dwindled back down to my normal 4, or my Team as I call them. Last night, however, the number increased back to 10. So, I suppose it should not have been a surprise that a message came soon after.

Becoming a Man

I had some odd dreams again and feel the need to include them since they came before the messages I received.

The first dream I recall is being with a tall, strong man. I don’t remember what he looked like, just the way he felt. His energy felt very large compared to mine and it surrounded me protectively, almost like a parent keeping an eye on their child.

We were talking about my need to pass as a man and I was being directed to pick out appropriate clothing at a store. I selected a large sweatshirt and jeans but when I put them on they were way too big. This I knew would be the case and I told my guide, “I told you they would be too big”. I then selected a medium sized shirt and pants and the same occurred. I remember thinking there was no way I would pass as a man. I was just too small. I told my guide that even a mens size small would be large on me. I never did try on the smallest size but instead thought about how tiny my female frame was and how difficult it would be to pass as a man.

Montana

The next dream I had was of being in Montana. Initially, I was in a store with my son. He had just woken up and was very hungry and grumpy. I walked along the isles looking specifically for an Odwalla drink, the green one, but I could not find one. Eventually I asked for help and the lady began to look up the drink on the computer while he associate gave my son a tiny pizza to make him happy. I accidentally dropped the pizza on the floor and picked it up while thanking the man. I never did get my drink.

When we left we traveled a wide dirt road. We encountered a group of men and one was carrying over the top of his head a large cow. It was wrapped up and huge and I remarked how I could never carry a cow that large but that I had cow tied one when I was small. Another man was there and took an interest, inquiring about where I was from. He was tall with blond hair and a rugged appearance.

He walked with me toward our land through the mountain passage. Somehow we ended up in his house. I became uncomfortable because I knew he was trying to distract me from going home. He took me into a room and asked me how I liked the house. I told him it was nice but I needed to get home. He then came closer and began to kiss me. I recall that he had slobbery kisses and the taste was not pleasant. I withdrew frommountain lake him pointing to my daughter who was sleeping in my arms (she is six so she was very big and I was holding her). He accepted this excuse but I was very uncomfortable by then and just wanted to get home.

Another man was there and they both questioned me about where we lived. I described it and they got out a map asking me to show where it was. I explained the property had been subdivided and showed where it was. The blonde man called to inquire about it and I remember him saying, “No, we are 1 and 2 not 3”. I recall wondering what he was talking about and recalling that our land was not in Montana but much farther south. I then asked my Mom, who was suddenly there with me, if she remembered the exit to our land. She nodded and said she did and I saw it in my mind, a tiny side road hidden in brush along the main route.

Disassembling Skeletons

I immediately found myself in a dream where I was standing in front of large animal skeletons. My job was to disassemble them. I took apart large bones, realizing they were cow bones or bones of a similar large animal. After I took off a bone I placed it in a simple white bag to be stored. I noticed that some of the bones had metal loops and screws in them where they were connected.

Symbolism of the above dreams:

Cow – symbolizes one’s docile nature; maternal instincts. The cow was bound in one dream suggesting a rejection of these qualities in myself. The bones of a cow suggest a lack of motherly emotions.

Shopping – represents one’s needs and desires. There is a selection process going on – choices being made or inspected.

Property – symbolizes feeling unstable in life; can also represent one’s current status in life. Since the property was broken up it may represent my feeling of being broken up in life.

Montana/mountains – represent determination and ambition as well as the higher spiritual realms. For me, I have actually lived in Montana so there may still remain some aspects from that time in my life that need to be addressed.

Messages

Upon waking from the last dream I saw in front of me a message being written. It was in glowing green letters and moved as if someone were writing it as I was reading it. It read:

“……has been cancelled……..”.

There was more to the sentence but I cannot remember the beginning or the end. The words disappeared as I recognized the word cancelled. I immediately wondered what it meant. I asked but received no answer. I understood it to mean that some plan or karmic debt had been cancelled or erased. I would no longer be addressing it in this life.

It appears that again some changes have been made to my plan. I did not feel good or bad with the receiving of this information. If anything, I felt a bit concerned. I asked if it meant my transformation would end. I was told, “No”, very firmly.

I fell back into the in-between state and found myself speaking to my guide. I got the same strong, protective and large feeling from his energy. He was standing and passing out something. He handed over to me a parcel of land. I saw a chunk of land broken off from a large piece and then it was passed over to me. It reminded me of a board game. The land was brown and two dimensional. Then gave me a set of golden keys. He said to me, “We will be here to help you”.

I immediately came out of my revere wondering what it meant. Why was he giving me keys to land? Was I going to get land? A house? I immediately thought it must be symbolic.

The symbolism of being given property and the feeling it gave me when I saw it was that a big change would occur in my life, one that separated me from my family in some way. The keys that come with it are gold and the symbolic meaning of this is that I will need to be adaptable to the changes but they will bring with them new opportunity and possibilities related to wealth and status.

I also heard the song Riptide by Vance Joy but only this part:

I just wanna, I just wanna know
If you’re gonna, if you’re gonna stay
I just gotta, I just gotta know
I can’t have it, I can’t have it any other way

Except I was singing the lyrics differently in my head. I was saying, “I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna go. I just wanna, I just wanna stay”. I was hearing this more than singing it and it hung around in my head until I got out of bed.

Considerations

I went to bed last night feeling very odd. I have been feeling it a lot lately. I am having trouble seeing my life ahead. There is nothing there. No plans. No change. No feeling. I feel done with life and I don’t look forward to much of anything anymore. The same feeling of not enjoying anything that I use to enjoy has come back and it bothers me. I can’t seem to change it, either. So I asked for help. I guess that is why I got those messages. I am receiving that help, was told as much, but there is so much information missing. I just hope it is not anything bad. I don’t think I can handle anything bad. I need good things to happen now, not bad things.

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Sea Lion

The past two mornings I have awakened hearing Mumford & Sons Little Lion Man playing in my head. Specifically the part of the chorus that goes, “I really fucked it up this time”. I do not particularly like this song so I know that it is meant as a message more than me just singing a song in my head. It has not been a nice message to wake up to. I keep wondering, “What did I mess up?”

Finding Meaning in the Present

Perhaps the song is a message from my subconscious validating the realizations I have been having lately. There are many but the most important of them, I think, is that I need to look not at my past or my future but at my present to find what it is I am looking for. It is right there in front of me, has always been, yet I never see it for thinking it must be something else.

It is like going to the pantry to find a jar of peanut butter. You look everywhere for it, even looking in places you know it would never be. But you can never find it. You become exasperated and ask someone for help. They look in the pantry and laugh. They point to it. It is right in front of you, so close it could bite you. That is what I am being told is happening to me.

Part of finding what I am looking for, that blasted jar of peanut butter hidden right in front of me, is to inspect the present moment, to be aware of the moment in the moment all the time. This is when the answers will reveal themselves. This is also where the work needs to be done for it is the present moment that I most avoid.

I have been thinking of how uncomfortable I am most often during the day, especially when I have nothing to do. I am told, “Just be” and I try and succeed most times but it seems to take a lot of work. I go through periods where I do well and then fall back into old habits and again find myself feeling that really uncomfortable feeling. It literally feels like I am uncomfortable being in my own skin. I don’t recall feeling this way in the past. I did feel anxious, but this isn’t the same feeling. This feeling is odd to me; familiar but unfamiliar. I am told I need to relax into that feeling to understand. I will try and do better at that, but so far I cannot seem to completely relax into it. It really feels not quite right.

Sea Lion

In addition to having these realizations (there are others I am not yet ready to mention), I am sleeping very deeply and waking frequently throughout the night. My dreams are odd and make no sense to me. For example, I had one dream where I was watching someone mold a person out of sand. The person looked like me, only a younger version. Last night I had another really odd one.

In the dream I was returning to my childhood home. Oddly, the new owners of the home were the new owners of the house I just sold last year. They were having a party and we arrived in the driveway. It was packed with people and I was looking around at the changes that had been made. I wandered around with my husband, looking at the old front yard and seeing a leather sofa sitting outside. It was in good condition and a nice cream color. I was shocked, commenting that it was so wasteful and wanting to take he sofa home but deciding against it. I also saw that they were painting the walls of the front yard (yeah, it had walls, weird) but had changed their mind and so there were two different colors, one on top of the other. I commented on this as well, wondering what they were doing.

We went to the old garage my dad use to keep his old Corvette in. Inside was an old Mustang that was being rebuilt. I commented that the new owner must need lots of things to keep him busy since he didn’t work. I then saw that sitting atop the Mustang was a creature. It appeared to be a mermaid or something like it. It was small, like a child, and had near mummified hands and limbs. It looked dead and we inspected it. My husband told me, “It’s a sea lion, see” and pointed to what appeared to be a golden mane down its back. I saw this and thought how odd that it was called this as it was very obviously some kind of deformed human.

I watched it intently because it intrigued me. It was disgusting but I could not stop looking at it. It’s hands were both reaching up into the air, fingers spread, and its little eyes were wide open and frozen. It appeared to be garbed in heavy cloth of some sort, which is why it seemed to have a huge mane.

Then I swear I saw its hand move. I pointed it out to my husband. It was then I saw a child with us, a small, blonde one. I ushered the child away from the sea lion and towards the house. We entered but the child would not come in. We joined the party but I kept thinking of the sea lion. I went to the door, suspicious, and saw the sea lion had walked to the entry and was standing near the door, it’s mummified hand outstretched toward me. I saw the child and was afraid for him/her (not sure on gender) but shut the door. I told the owner, “It’s alive! It’s at the door!” I felt very nervous about it being outside and alive. The owner smiled and calmly said, “It just needs attention”.

Interpretation

I am not really certain what this dream means. I believe it is likely that I was being asked to attend to a part of myself that was neglected: the sea lion. A sea lion, or seal, symbolizes playfulness and the ability to have fun and enjoy life. In other words, the inner child. The state of the sea lion suggests that this part of me has been horribly neglected. I was curious about this part of me but at the same time very cautious. I did not like that it was “alive” and there was a bit of fear and horror that came with it. Then I was told the sea lion just needed attention, so also does my inner child need attention.The blond child that was with the sea lion suggests that the inner child symbolism is accurate. I believe the setting of the dream, back in my childhood home, is also symbolic of me being urged to return to childhood innocence.

Mermaids represent femininity and so it could be that this sea lion represents my feminine side since I initially thought it was a mermaid. As I consider this, I wonder about some thing. It could be that my childhood contains something that is lost to me; a memory that I hid from myself to protect myself. This seems probable because I struggle to remember much of my childhood from around the age of 7 to 9. It is also probable that there may have been sexual abuse, though I do not remember any. My sister told me in 2003 that she was sexually abused by our neighbor. She told me I told her he had touched me inappropriately, too, but I have no memory of it. None. I do recall going into his house with my younger sister and when we got to the bedroom (we were looking for him) feeling a very bad feeling and to not go there. But that is the extent of my memories of him. So I wonder if perhaps I am being asked to look into my past and find memories buried deep. I honestly don’t think there is anything major there, but then again, who knows? We will see. If it is meant to be found, it will be.

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Three Dreams and a Decision

I have been struggling these last few days with the apathetic feeling as well as with a feeling of being “done”. I feel smothered by my life and unable to escape. I know that this trapped feeling is caused by my own thoughts but I seem not to be able to get the feeling to go away. No amount of yoga, meditation, or exercise helps for very long.

Last night I went to bed asking for help on this matter. I do not like feeling like this and, honestly, I feel as if all the progress I seemed to have made back in December has been destroyed. My guide reminded me that this is normal. “Two steps forward, one step back. It does not mean you are not succeeding. You are learning, adapting and becoming stronger“. Yeah, well, it sucks. That doesn’t feel like progress, it feels like wading through muck.

Three Dreams and a Decision

Similar to the prior night, last night I awoke four or more times in the night. This time, however, I recalled the dreams I had been having prior to waking up.

Dead Chickens and Geese

The first dream I awoke from was a weird one. I had been left in charge of my mother’s chickens. My job was to feed and water them and make sure they were okay. They were inside a large pen and it was pretty crowded. There was small chicks, adult chickens and adult geese.

I had not checked the birds in several days when I went to check on them. To my disbelief, I found three large, white chickens and two white geese dead. Their bodies were torn apart all over the pen while the other birds pecks around and seemed to not notice. I did not want to mess with the mess so I called my husband to help. I dreaded telling my Mom but knew I would have to.

I could not figure out what had killed the birds. My husband and I inspected the pen and the only place where something could have gotten in was a hole through the laying boxes. I concluded that a raccoon or opossum must have come in and killed them. I told my mom and all was okay.

To see dead chickens in a dream indicates a decision to no longer be cowardly. To see dead geese suggests a decision to stop being domesticated. The baby chickens indicate that perhaps I have other fears that are “growing” that will need to be tended to later.

Unexpected Guests

In the next dream I recall I was inside an unfamiliar house. It was mine, though. I walked through it and surveyed it, noting it was quite nice and had a very calming, healing energy to it. I went outside and walked along the stone patio to the back. I saw a nicely manicured green lawn and a small, stone and mortar wall. There were large trees whose trunks and lower branches were painted a rusty red. I wondered about it but decided it didn’t matter. I also saw three cats roaming about. They were friendly and I wanted to pet them but they would not come close enough. To the left was a huge lake, the waters were dark and there was a ripple of a current. I decided I liked it there.

I went back toward the house and ran into people I did not know. They were asking me for popcorn, saying my husband had told them we had some. I assumed my husband had invited them and so was pleasant but told them I did not have any popcorn. They had a cooler with them and one man pulled out a beer. They walked around the house and yard as if they were viewing it as a potential purchase. I watched them for a while and then approached the man when they were outside. I was eating popcorn and explained all we had was a tiny amount. I showed him this and then offered them all some Christmas popcorn. They were not interested.

The men were looking over the edge at the lake below and asked if we had ever swam in it. I said no. Then the men decided to go down to swim and all were preparing to follow. There was a woman with a small, blonde headed girl and two men total.

The men went down and walked along the sewer pipe that led from the house. I remember looking at it and seeing the patio. I recalled that there once was a pool there but it was now gone. I wondered what had happened to it.

I followed the men down to the lake old-gas-pumps_100171573_mand saw that the water was flowing more rapidly than it appeared. The man was going to jump in and I suggested a spot. He pointed to something and when i looked I saw that the water was full of antique gas pumps of varying colors and shapes. It was like a gas pump graveyard!

The house in this dream symbolizes aspects of myself. I focused upon the healing aspects the most. The tree suggests I have solid foundations to build upon. The water represents emotion and since it is dark the emotion is unknown or unexpressed. The water becomes more rapid, though not overly, which suggest the emotion is growing in intensity. The uninvited guests symbolize new challenges and interests in life  The popcorn indicates positive growth and new ideas. Finally, the fuel pumps indicate untapped energy that is waiting to be utilized.

Decision

I awoke from this dream in a sour mood. I was still feeling unable to cope with my life and feeling trapped by it. The feeling is hard to describe but I will say it is very uncomfortable. I admit I thought of some not so good solutions to try and avoid the problem. However, I suddenly was hit with an idea – I needed to take a week vacation by myself. I just needed to go somewhere alone by myself for a while to get away.

I immediately thought how purposeless that would be because I would just return to the same life I left. Nothing would change. I began to get caught up in the hopelessness of my situation (or at least it seems so to me) and thought about escaping in the night never to return. I love my family, my children, but I recognized that there is a part of me that does not enjoy parenting or being an adult. I recalled a few past lives that confirmed why I had these feelings but pushed them away. I recognized that it is OK to feel like I do. I am not bad to feel this way and I can leave anytime I want. Oh it is so tempting!

After thinking upon this for a while I recalled good ol’ karma. Now I am not sure that karma even exists, but I do know that I have a very strong purpose when it comes to my family. I just cannot leave my children and my husband never to return. This would go against my agreement to them. I don’t know how I know this, but I do. I could do it, nothing says I can’t, but the feeling is that I need to fulfill my part. This is important to me as well as to them. I don’t know the full extent of it, but the feeling does not lie. It says, “The only way out is through”. If I want this cycle to be done, I need to go through this and fulfill my part for whatever reason.

So I returned to the idea of a week long vacation. I decided it was a good, temporary solution. It would offer me relief and give me something to look forward to. Also, I would need to plan this out and planning trip is something I have done in the past with great success. It could be fun. But where would I go? What would I do? This, I feel, will come to me. All I need to do now is making the decision. So it is made. I will plan to take a trip alone during Spring Break. I asked my husband if this would be okay and he said it would be.

Any suggestions as to what I should do? I thought maybe I could visit the Monroe Institute. Or maybe there is somewhere else that would be better? A warm place would be nice and a place where I can meditate, sleep, and be surrounded by beauty and positive energy.

Lavish Hotel

I fell back to sleep after making my decision and jumped into a semi-lucid dream. I was walking with my mother down our road. To the left I saw a huge hotel that had been built. It was at least 12 stories high with windows that reflected the light like mirrors. It had a silvery-blue sheen to it and was quite grand.

I remarked to my mother about this and she pointed ahead. I saw a large shopping center being constructed. I was very excited to see this and know that our small town would be booming soon because of this new development.

We decided to go into the hotel to look around. We went up to the top floor where we stood for a while in awe of the grandeur of the place. The walls were white with gold trim and the ceilings were domed and high.

We saw that the entire top floor was a fine restaurant. We stood in line and decided we just wanted dessert. A waiter came to us and recommended something. He said he would bring it to us and so we waited in the waiting area. As we waited, a man, his wife and children were sitting near us. The man was eating dessert and his son was climbing all over. I watched him and his children and thought of my own.

A hotel indicates a shift in perception is occurring and that old habits need to be replaced with new thinking. It also indicates the need for a vacation. Eating dessert represents enjoying life, indulgence or temptation.

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Bunnies and Dead Dogs

After my very vivid dream about the death of my mother, I was a bit shaken. I finally told her about it the next day. As I suspected, she did not freak out. Instead, she told me that she had recently had a sudden vision of herself passing out and being found by her husband dead on the kitchen floor. She also told me that she has been having dreams about death – her own and her husbands. She has also been worrying about updating her will.

She told me she believed that I was just picking up on her emotions; that the dream was not precognitive. This may be true, but I did not feel better after telling her about my dream. I told her that, too. We agreed that I would give her a call on the 21st and joked a bit to make ourselves feel better. I asked her before hanging up to please tell me if she felt anything out of the ordinary.

I have done all I can do now. I pray that my dream was just a worry dream like my mother said.

Bunnies and Dead Dogs

Last night I woke up at least four times throughout the night. Each time I awoke from odd dreams. Now, hours later, I can only remember one dream and of that dream, only a small portion.

In the dream I recall walking outside in the grass while talking with someone. It was beautifully green all around – the grass, the trees, everything. It reminded me of Spring.

When I got to a certain area outside, I noticed a dead, black and white Australian Shepard. He was black and white and brown and very beautiful. I kept walking, thinking it odd to see a dead dog, when I passed by another identical dog, also dead. I blinked, thinking I was seeing things, but the dog was there still. I turned around and where the other dead dog had been there were several small, black and white bunnies hopping about. I was confused for a moment, thinking that the bunnies were also dead. However, they continued to hop around happily.

Afterward, I was with my middle son and he was asking me to get something for him. I responded to his request but first had to wash my hands. I went to a nearby sink and began washing my hands. When I looked down they were covered with blood. I recall wondering how I got blood all over my hands. Had I killed the dogs?

Interpretation

I am not sure what this dream means but I can figure out the symbolism attached.

A dead dog symbolizes either the loss of a good friend or the deterioration of one’s own instincts. Dogs typically represent a strong, loyal aspect of one’s self so this would be the part of myself that has died.

The rabbits are interesting. Rabbits represent good luck, welcomed changes and also vulnerability. The colors of the rabbits I think are significant. Black symbolizes fear of intimacy and white symbolizes faithfulness and love. From the looks of the dream so far, it appears that I am focusing on developing more intimacy and love within my relationships.

The washing of bloody hands represents cleansing away of guilt.

A Feeling of Finality

Lastly, I continue to be haunted by a strong apathetic feeling. It feels so final and unavoidable. I seem not to care much about anything anymore except my family. In fact, I nearly quit my job because we could not find an affordable babysitter for 20 hours a week. We did find a solution but when I thought about quitting, I was okay with that option. When I wondered what I would do instead, I got a feeling to trust that something would come my way.

It just seems like everything is ending or becoming finalized in my life. Then what? I don’t know. I think that is what bothers me the most. I honestly don’t have any answer to the question my guide is always asking me: “What do you want?” Hell if I know.

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Self-Healing

Yesterday was a day of healing for me. I started by using my pendulum to double check my intuition that said that more than just the second chakra was blocked. I discovered that my second and crown chakras were completely blocked and my root, third and fourth chakras partially blocked. My third chakra was blocked initially but within seconds the crystal of the pendulum encouraged it to open. The same occurred with the root. My heart chakra was open right off but was sluggish, suggesting the energy there was in the process of clearing. I was not surprised that my throat and third eye were open but it did surprise me just how wide open my third eye was. The pendulum flew in a clockwise direction so wide that it could not go any wider. This told me that my third eye was too open.

I was able to open my crown chakra very quickly. I rubbed some Frankincense into the top of my head, sat cross legged and chanted Nng while visualizing it opening. After doing this for just a few minutes I stopped and focused on my second chakra. I put Citrus Bliss oil on my sacral plexus, chanted Vam and visualized it opening. While I was doing this, I felt an intense energy in my crown and knew it had opened and my efforts were successful. Unfortunately, my second chakra was not budging no matter how much I visualized and chanted.

I spent most of the afternoon working on my blocked second chakra – doing yoga, chanting the mantra and meditating to encourage it to open. I never was able to feel the energy move despite my best efforts. However my efforts were not totally wasted. Around 7pm CST, when my husband left with all three of my children in tow, I finally had the house to myself. I felt restless and kept walking around in a circle in the kitchen thinking again about the mantras I had been chanting and feeling there was something I was missing. I tried putting a tone with each mantra, singing up the scale like I use to do when I was a music student in college. Something about feeling the sound vibrate in my throat made me think I should sing so I began to sing an old hymnal I use to sing growing up in church. It is called, As the Deer and I always loved singing that song.

Almost as soon as I started singing emotion began to well up from within me and I got so choked up that I could not get the words to come out. My mind was flooded with memories, images of me singing in church with my family and hearing the harmony flood my ears and heart as I sang. The same feeling filled my heart and it seemed as if my family in Spirit surrounded me with love. You can imagine how overwhelmed I felt at this and many times had to stop walking and hold onto something.

I continued to sing because I knew, the only way out was through. It was obvious to me that my blocked chakras were opening and that this was a necessary part of the clearing process.

One by one, memories came to me. Times in my life when I did things I enjoyed. Singing was first, followed by fishing, gardening, sewing, painting, etc. And one by one I remembered how each of those things I stopped doing for one reason or another. Always there was an excuse that kept me from doing them. I stopped singing because I couldn’t be the best at it and if I wasn’t going to be the best, what was the point? Fishing because I had grown up and moved away and it was always inconvenient to do. Gardening because I now had three children and no garden and it would be too hard so why bother? Sewing again because I had three children and painting as well. With each lost pleasure I listened to the excuses and ignored my heart.

I realized that I had taken from myself everything that I enjoyed in life. No wonder I was not enjoying life.

I did it. I did it all to myself and trapped myself, backed myself into this corner of misery.

This realization stopped me in my tracks and I knew that this was just the tip of the iceberg. The second chakra is about pleasure; enjoyment of life. There were/are so many things in life that brought/bring me pleasure. It is so simple really the solution – start doing them again. Stop listening to the excuses and just do them. Once the decision is made the uncomfortableness at pushing past what has always been done will break apart and what will be left simple enjoyment of life.

After over an hour of memories followed by emotional outpouring followed by more memories and emotion, I was finally spent. And I felt better.

Last Night’s Work

After a thorough session of self-healing and more chakra balancing, I fell asleep quite quickly still propped upright in the midst of meditating. I awoke from a dream of traveling across the ocean to an island.

AirShip

The vehicle in which I traveled across the ocean was immense. It was more than an airplane, it was an airship. Inside were hundreds, maybe thousands of people and I was very aware of twin girls who carried with them their blood in vials connected by plastic. I was aware also that this blood carried their DNA. There was a conflict here and I avoided the twins for some reason but cannot remember why. One kept staring at me holding her blood in her hands.

The main memory I have of this dream is that my ex brought back food from a farmer’s market. He put in front of me a bunch of bananas and a strange orange fruit that was long like a sweet potato. He asked me if I wanted some of the banana (but he didn’t call it that). He opened it up to reveal the flesh and it was unlike any banana flesh I had ever seen. Inside it was splashed with orange and my ex told me it was a powerful hallucinogenic. He ate it and said it tasted like dirt (lol) and then offered me some. I refused because I researched it and it said it made one’s heart rate speed up to 150 and I didn’t want that. I chose instead to eat the other fruit which tasted good and sweet.

The symbolism here is not lost to me. I keep dreaming of twins and the meaning of them is usually that they are my conscious and sub-conscious. Since there is conflict here, I am likely struggling with accepting the subconscious aspect. The blood is representative of life, love and passion. The fruit I ate is symbolic of my work on the second chakra and since I ate it I am open to the work that needs to be done to open it.

Healing

I awoke from this dream feeling huge amounts of energy coming in through my crown chakra and seeming to exit my root chakra. My head felt wide open, too, my third eye buzzing and filling my eyes, nose and cheeks. I lay there unable to return to sleep and finally lay on my back. I then began to notice my second chakra was also activated and I had a slight discomfort there but nothing major.

I fell back to sleep despite the energy and dreamed of working with other spiritually talented individuals in a type of commune or something. I walked to a high fence where four women were seeking entrance. I looked for the gate to let them in and discovered that I was mistaken about the gate as it had been removed and not been there for some time. I invited the women in and asked them who they had an appointment with. One girl pointed at me and another mentioned a man’s name. I walked them inside and then woke, knowing what the message was: my spiritual gifts had never left me, the “fence” was built by me and the gate had never been there – it had always been open.

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Dead End

I had a discouraging vision this morning upon waking. I saw very clearly a Dead End sign close up, as if I were standing just a couple of feet away from it. Because of the vision, I struggled to find a happy mood, worried it meant that I was again coming to a standstill in my spiritual development. I decided to exercise and spend time with my children. Thankfully, this brightened my mood and now I am less worried about the vision.

According to dreammoods.com:

To dream that have reached a dead end indicates that you have come to an abrupt end in the pursuit of your goals. You must find another way to achieve your goals because the current path is not working out. Alternatively, the dream may be telling you that you are going nowhere. Perhaps, the dream is symbolic of a dead end job or a dead end relationship. You need to reevaluate your options.

I had asked a question that I wanted an answer to a couple of nights ago and the more I think about the vision of the dead end sign, the more I think that it is the answer to my question. I will know sooner or later if I am right about that. I hope I am right and that the alternative is not where the dead end is.

foalsTwin Foals

My sleep since last Sunday has been very deep and almost dreamless. I have lots of energy when I go to bed again, yet I am able to fall asleep without incident. Then I sleep almost exactly 8 hours and wake up fully refreshed and unable to return to sleep. I have been a bit disappointed in the mornings because it is the return to sleep that often sends me OOB.

Last night’s dreams were lost to me until just about an hour ago when suddenly a couple came back to me. The first was a dream about my cousin and her horse. In reality, my cousin’s horse died on my birthday this year. He was very old, so it was not unexpected. He was white and his name was Tzar. But in the dream my cousin had died and a new person was moving into her home. I must have been near lucid because I kept questioning my dream characters, telling them my cousin did not die, her horse did, and correcting them. It bothered me to see a stranger moving into my cousin’s home.

Eventually I went to the barn and saw that my cousin’s horse was still alive. This also bothered me and I remember thinking, “Wait, Tzar is dead, not my cousin”. Yet there was the horse standing there looking perfectly alive. Then I saw he had two twin foals with him. They were newborn and running about. I remember questioning this as well because Tzar is male and could not have babies!

To see a foal in one’s dream indicates a new task is at hand and with it comes new energy. The foals had tons of energy and since there were two of them it could mean that I will have double the energy in this new undertaking. The energy part makes sense because I have definitely had more energy than usual.

One Breast

The other dream that came back to me was very odd. In the dream I was at my mother’s house and taking a bath. I don’t remember all the specifics of the dream, but I was undressing and about to climb into the tub when I looked down at my naked body and saw one breast in the center of my chest. I remember thinking it odd and that it looked like an eyeball to me, kinda like a cyclops except with one boob instead of one eye. lol I did not laugh in the dream, though. Instead, I questioned it and remember speaking to someone about it, a woman. I recall remembering that I had a surgery to remove one breast. I don’t know why I had the surgery, though. It seemed like I chose to remove the breast, not that I was ill with breast cancer or anything.

After discussing the surgery, I turned and looked in the mirror and saw first a visual of myself naked with both breasts. Then the visual shifted and there I was with only one. Except this time the one breast was on the left side where it should have been and there was smooth skin on the right. I remember liking the smooth side and a part of me went back to my youth when I had no breasts and wished to be that way again.

Symbolically, I guess it is normal to dream of only having one breast because dreammoods.com says that to dream of one breasts indicates feelings of being undesirable. I do not feel this describes me at all, though, so I wonder if perhaps it has more to do with my heart chakra than my breasts especially since I saw the one breast in the center where the heart chakra would be. I did like the idea of not having breasts, but I have always felt that way. Perhaps I have an issue with being a woman? I can relate to that!

Weird Week

So far this week has been weird for me. Not only has my mood been all over the place but my time at work has been super busy and productive. I have felt more in tune with the people I work with and as a result have helped in my role as counselor more than in previous weeks. Not only that but my help was sought out rather than my seeking people to help. At the end of both of my days at work this week I have been proud of my accomplishments with a positive outlook about the future. This is not abnormal but this much of it in one week is not common for me.

At the end of the days I do not work I also feel I have accomplished quite a bit and the day feels full and complete. Today even, I feel I have accomplished a lot, even though the day has not be much different than any other.

I have been thinking about tomorrow. It is the date I heard in a recent OBE where my guide told me, “The veil will be lifted”. I have concluded that it is likely that the date has no significance other than it being revealed in my OBE. Perhaps something will happen, perhaps not. My worry about the “dead end” message in my vision is that it concerns the 12/12/14 date and that my current path to spiritual enlightenment is inadequate and I must take a new route. Yet perhaps there is no need to worry? Perhaps the dead end is a good sign – a sign telling me “Not this way” so that I know there is  another way and it will be revealed to me soon.