Tag Archives: dreams

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Willing to Experience Anything

Though the energies have been high and quite intense, I have not noticed them quite as much as is normal. Perhaps I have adjusted? The only indicators for me that the energies are high right now are: 1. My guidance/intuition tells me they are. 2. My heart, third-eye and crown have been active on and off. 3. My sleep is more interrupted than usual and I am having more vivid dreams.

My dreams indicate that I am going through yet another transition period and making more decisions behind-the-scenes.

Community College or University – I had a dream in which I was deciding if I should go to a community college or university. A line of students were waiting for orientation at the community college and I remember mulling over my options. I was going for an advanced (doctorate) degree so I chose the university. The feeling from this dream is that I am choosing what direction I wish to go in. There comes with this dream a sense that choosing the university indicates choosing a “school” many, many others would also be attending. Maybe the lessons then are more mundane in nature?

Piranha Swimming in Air – I walked into a bedroom and saw a large aquarium with big fish in it. I prepared to feed them when I saw one of the fish swimming around in the air about me. It startled me and I left in a hurry. I told some people outside, “Do you know one of the fish escaped? Be careful because it’s a piranha and it could bite you.” I also asked, “Is it even possible for a fish to swim in the air??” Fish out of a fish tank and swimming in the air is actually a common dream for me.

Fish are usually representative of ideas and/or insights from the subconscious. A piranha is likely an idea or issue that is literally eating away at me and causing me internal upset. The fish tank itself indicates I am in control of my emotions (all but the piranha that is).

tardisRejecting Intuition – In this dream I was at a busy intersection with others. It reminded me a large city like New York. There was a man sitting on the bench. When I saw him I intuited that he would be in an accident and lose both his legs. I decided not to tell him because I believe doing so is irresponsible and unethical. I continued past him but was asked to stop and reset this machine for the next person. It reminded me of the Tardis from Dr. Who except it was smaller. I found the latch and flipped it. The latch was labeled, “Walk-in”. There was much confusion here in the dream and a thought of wishing I didn’t know what the future would bring.

Continued Shifting

There are other dreams intermixed with these but the themes are similar. When I awoke one of the six times that I woke in the night (ugh!) I recall knowing that I had chosen to slow down progress towards Wholeness. I am afraid and need to sort through that fear. I was not very nice to myself upon recognizing this and viewed it as a flaw. There was also knowing that a rest period has been entered (again) and April 4 came to mind. As usual it appears my guidance is giving me a heads up on when the next rush of energies (likely Kundalini) is coming.

In the meanwhile, physically I look and feel wonderful. There has been a physical transformation in me over the last couple of weeks that I am pleased with. My complexion is superb when it has been anything but since the end of January. I have more energy than usual and my body just feels lighter. It is hard to describe. Additionally, I am feeling more connected to my body and feel so much more than I have in a very long time (3 years?). I am actually interested in sex again. Huh? lol Happy dance. I literally feel like I am 20 years old again. Woo-hoo!

On top of these changes, I am also feeling more motivated. Today I have an appointment with an orthodontist to fix my teeth which has been an on-going irritation for me since my 20’s. I have never done anything because of the high cost involved and I could never justify paying so much for one out of place tooth. This time I’m going to do it. It’s an early 40th birthday present to myself. 🙂

There is also present an inkling that I might be able to venture back into the workplace. The thought of it is still unsettling but I sense this will break down in the next few months. There are still some things in my life that need to shift before looking for work but I am being prepared for something that is coming.

I am willing to experience anything at this point. 🙂

 

 

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Sometimes Love Isn’t Enough

This song has been following me around all day. I woke up hearing the chorus, “Sometimes love just ain’t enough”. Why was I hearing this upon waking?

In reading over the lyrics, I have to say the message doesn’t seem to be a good one.

Hang Gliding Dream

The dream just prior to waking may be a clue. I don’t recall much of it now, but I do remember very vividly a bright red hang glider that was being ridden by a young man. It was like he had wings and he kept getting in my way. I was walking up some very steep stairs and he landed right in front of me, blocking my way. The entire dream scene itself was like something out of a movie. What Dreams May Come pops into my head and the crazy afterlife scenes of never-ending stairs and people flying through the sky. This was the kind of place I found myself in.

what-dreams-may-come

Scene from What Dreams May Come

There was a  vast, golden stair leading up to a large ledge. From where I stood on the stairs I could see I was close to the top and the steep stairs seemed to stretch on and on below me. Below that, a vivid green expanse and blue sky that seemed to go on forever. The sky was filled with puffy white clouds and hang gliders. Each of us was preparing for our own take off from the building high above. There were conversations but they are lost to me now. All that remains in words is the above song and that one line. Weird.

Hang gliding or seeing a hang glider in a dream symbolizes the wish for freedom from one’s limitations or limiting circumstances. The color red here may be symbolic of the root chakra and feelings of safety and security. The stairs symbolize achievement of understanding and making progress on one’s journey. The fact that I am near the top is significant here as I am able to see how far I’ve come and how close I am to reaching my goal.

There is some behind the dream memory of discussing my marriage and relationship with my husband. These discussions also occur when I’m not dreaming, so I do not doubt they continue during dream time. I can’t help but put it all together and notice. This comes with a feeling of not wanting to acknowledge some obvious truths. Even now I don’t want to look too hard for fear of what I might find. Yet, when I read the lyrics some parts practically yell at me to pay attention. Specifically the parts about staying just to have someone by my side and thinking something’s going to change but it never does.

My husband is very stubborn and determined. Even if I decide that I want to leave, he will not allow me to. He is that pig-headed. The only way he will ever let me go is if he decides it for himself. I don’t think that will ever happen. And honestly, I do love him very much, but, like the lyrics say, maybe love isn’t enough?

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Dream: Portal to Sirius

I found myself in space amidst the stars with a group of others. I do not recall feeling as if I had form or shape, but I do recall a feeling of I AM. The purpose of the trip into space was to send off a friend. I recall seeing her vividly. She was tall and slender with long, straight dark brown hair. She appeared human but she had features that indicated she was not such as slanted, oversized eyes; pale, luminous skin; and smaller than average mouth and nose. She actually reminded me of an Anime character. There was also a faint, neon blue aura about her and all around her.

We were floating above a platform I couldn’t see and there was a sensation of moving very, very fast yet at the same time we stayed completely still. There was a type of silver, metal, arch that was rotating which was causing the sensation of movement. It was destabilizing the area in which we were located in order to create a portal for passage to another location. The neon blue aura was around this machine and seemed to pulse as I focused on it.

The dark-haired woman said something to me about this blog, saying that she would not read it because I never signed it with my real signature. Her exact words, “I won’t read anything that hasn’t been signed by the writer.” In my mind I saw an image of a person’s authentic signature written in ink. This confused me as I could not understand why she would tell me something like that but I knew I had not ever signed my name. I hugged and told her, “I would read anything your wrote, no matter if you signed it or not.” Then I wished her well on her journey.

Through the forming portal I can see the outline of a very large city. The structures were pristine, shining almost white and taller than the buildings we have here on Earth. I could make out several towers and multifaceted crystalline buildings.  For some reason I identified the city with Sirius and said to her, “I can see Sirius.” I pointed to the city and she nodded and prepared to enter the portal.

At this point I am able to perceive the others in my group. There are five of us in total but they hang back as if only to observe. I watch as the portal stabilizes and rainbows of color begin to arch out from it. The colors were iridescent and you could see right through them.

When I awoke I had only been asleep about an hour because it was 10:39pm. Information poured into my mind as I tried to make sense of my surroundings. I heard, “Annunaki”  and “way station” and knew I had been preparing to travel interdimensionally. Unfortunately, my body woke me up and the transfer was suspended. I had a strange sense of saying goodbye to a part of myself which left me feeling a strange dejavu-type feeling. I wondered briefly about the signature part of the dream. Perhaps it was a message to me to take ownership of my blog and other aspects of my Self I am not openly acknowledging?

In researching known E.T. species, I discovered that there is one that resembles an Anime character: The Yahyel (Shalanaya).

 

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Kundalini Dream: MOAB

Last night was interesting to say the least.

Dream: Test Preparation

Quick dream recall to set the scene. 🙂

I was at school and preparing to take a test. My teacher, a tall, brunette, was focusing on me even though she had an entire class of kids. The other kids appeared to be about 10 years of age and the classroom was yellow and gold colors. Part of my preparation involved making myself a lunch for my trip which was to be by plane. I remember feeling I might be late and rushing.

During the preparation, a man kept calling by phone trying to talk to me and talk me out of going on the trip. I could see him in my mind and he reminded me of one of my old neighbors – older, gray hair, wrinkled and thin. I remember him calling on the phone and hearing him cock a gun and I said, “Tell him he doesn’t need to bring his gun.” I saw in my mind a shot gun and felt as if he were trying to protect me.

Then I was being send to a one-room house. These were to be my quarters while I prepared. The cottage sized house was cozy and had an attached single car garage. I remember the old man also got a cottage. I’m not sure why he came along, though.

Dream: Arranged Marriage

I was ushered into a great hall where an event was underway. There was a Hindu/Indian feel and theme to the obvious celebration. There was a stage and a band was playing. I remember being asked to sing a song, but I didn’t know the words so just kind of made them up as I went. The song reminded me of a Phil Collins song. lol Everyone was happy, dancing and/or milling about. I felt out of place, though. Why was I here?

The woman, the teacher from the last dream, informed me that I had agreed to marry a man. The marriage had been arranged and this was the celebration – our celebration. I understood this to be true and immediately looked for my my husband-to-be. I saw him sitting down near the band on a bench, not far from where I sat and to my left. I looked at him closely, inspecting his features and trying to memorize what he looked like. He had black hair, cropped short with medium skin tone and looked much, much older than me by the amount of deep lines on his face. His eyes were dark brown. He was quite thin and wiry and his face familiar.

In front of us there was a large, Asian-looking house with golden colored gates. For some reason I thought they were “garages“. There were three in a row and the same person (the woman?) told me that the garages were very difficult to operate. Then my attention was drawn to tiny figurines lined up by the house. I was told these were “idols” that people had put there and that this place was in fact a shrine of some sort. I then saw someone walking away from the house with two dolphins on leashes. They were taking them to the ocean. In the dream I remember laughing at the sight of it because it was so absurd.

Lucid Dream: MOAB

This is when the dream takes a turn and my lucidity begins to increase. The woman continued to prepare me for my upcoming wedding and spoke to me at some length. I remember someone asked me to purchase a newspaper and the man I was to marry interrupted and said, “It does not need to be purchased. It is free to everyone.” It was a newspaper I recognized, some scientific publication, but I can’t recall the name now.

Then the man was sitting very close to me on my right. I remember sensing his thoughts and saying out loud, “It’s okay. We’re going to be married anyway.” The man turned to me and I looked at him. I could only see his dark brown eyes. I asked him, “What is your name, anyway?” He said, “MO-AB. Moab.” I heard it very audibly in the dream and it brought on almost full lucidity. I repeated the name to him slowly and then he repeated it back to me.

The next thing I knew he kissed me very gently on the lips. I could feel it as if I were awake and I did not reject it. It is amazing to me how real it felt. There was an internal conversation going on in my head with him at the time. I also recall knowing what he felt and what he wanted. It was very strange. I sensed he wanted to kiss more deeply. I allowed this because his energy was so calming and soothing and the kissing felt nice.

Then I felt I needed to stop. I don’t know why but at the same time he was asking me not to stop though there were no words said. I just felt what he wanted. He wanted to embrace me and wrap me in his arms while kissing me. When the thought hit me to pull away, my heart chakra lit up intensely. The feeling in my heart was a mixture of pain and pleasure and intensified to the point that I couldn’t breathe. Then the energy from my heart shot straight down into my root chakra and began to move up with even greater intensity. I pulled away from his kiss and woke up.

Afterward

Even awake, the energy continued and I was unable to breathe. My guide kept asking me, “How do you feel?” over and over. I couldn’t really answer at the time. I was ablaze with energy and trying to recover. lol

I kept recalling the name MOAB. I had heard it before. Why was I hearing it again? What the heck is MOAB??

The clock said 3:45am. I was awake until 5:15am before I fell back to sleep. It took that long for the energy to settle. He kept asking me how I felt. I was finally able to respond, “Aroused.” LOL However, this arousal is not typical. The energy in all my lower chakras and heart chakra was intensely arousing for some reason, in a spiritual way. It was like the heart bliss spread to my lower chakras.

I knew/was told that this was just a preparation and more is coming. This “test” was to see how I would handle the energy. I was told I passed but I felt like I failed because I knew the energy was suppose to be moved up. How the hell am I suppose to remember to move it up when it is taking over all my lower chakras?? Since my heart chakra continued to blaze for a while after the experience, I practiced moving it up and got as far as my throat but lost interest.

Edit: I looked up the meaning of the name Moab. Apparently it can mean many different things, some of which we do not even have a word for. However, when reading this article I was drawn to this explanation:

“But the word אב (‘ab), meaning father, also occurs in meanings other than that of a biological parent. Sometimes it’s used to indicate the lord of a village (Isaiah 22:21), or an elder (2 Kings 2:12), or an ancestor (Genesis 10:21), and often it simply indicates a position of authority; a counselor (Genesis 45:8) or prophet (2 Kings 6:21). The word ‘ab is also ascribed to God (Isaiah 63:16, Hosea 11:1)

Specifically, I feel this name is given to represent our relationship (me and this guide/mentor). He is to me an ancestor of some sort and since he is my mentor (counselor) this applies as well. I am reminded of the church and how we use “father” or “elder” for those in divinely appointed positions. Perhaps this is also applicable here.

 

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Meeting my Mentor

This post is just to document some things for myself. 🙂

Messages

Met with one of my guides who refers to himself as my “mentor”. He has very calm energy and I feel very comfortable with it, it’s soothing and reminds me very much of the energy of a water sign. I felt he had no name but the name “Robert” popped into my head for some reason. I recognized his energy and knew he and my new entourage of guides had been in the background of my life for some time. They are the ones who planned this life with me.

Most of his communication with me was in feelings and images, though he did use words. So, most of what I recall now is in feelings. He asked me if it would be okay with me for us to meet. He explained that in this meeting he would not block the energy which would result in an amazing heart blast of bliss. I understood that this will happen either in a lucid dream or the in-between. He also explained that he will reveal aspects of himself to me. Since he is most definitely other worldly, I do not know what exactly I will perceive but he wanted to warn me of it in advance and reassure me that I could request it to stop at any point. He reassured me that I am ready for this and that it is necessary for me to become Whole. I wasn’t told exactly when this would happen. He just said, “soon”. I suspect it will be Tuesday or Wednesday based upon dream messages and the upcoming lunar eclipse.

While communicating with him we discussed the state of this world, my progress and my role in the future. Team Dark was mentioned and his reaction to this name and the energies they represent was, “It is inconsequential.” My understanding from his reaction was that Team Dark is simply a fear-based name based upon human programming and not to get caught up in the duality from which it arises. Those who choose that route are no different than those who do not – they simply wish to experience it while others choose not to. There is no judgement made and no “us versus them” mentality taken.

He advised me to avoid reading other accounts, channeled messages, books, etc right now because my experiences need to remain “untainted” by outside sources. He also triggered memories of my dreamtime activities. I recalled discussing trigonometry, specifically Sine, Cosine and Tangent and seeing/discussing actual math problems. There was acknowledgment of math and its interconnectedness to the universe and spiritual concepts. I saw the familiar triangles of the Merkaba and patterns of sacred geometry.

I also remembered that I chose to explore the social, psychological and spiritual while in physical form rather than scientific and mathematical concepts. This is because on the Other Side (or wherever we are in Spirit) my strengths are science and math and my weaknesses are the social sciences. I love to solve puzzles, just in physical life the puzzle I chose to solve was me. Pretty cool.

Throughout our conversations, I had an overwhelming familiarity hit me. There was also a feeling of anticipation and excitement – a “this is it!” feeling. My heart, third-eye, and crown were also activated at this time.

Dreams

I have been sleeping very deeply and have lots of dreams which are mostly lost to me upon waking. Last night I awoke at 1am to intense root chakra activity. It felt like a bubble of energy was expanding out from the root chakra. I do not recall the dreams associated with it, but I knew it was in preparation for whatever is coming next.

I recall being in college, specifically in a class about psychology and dreams. I asked a question about lucid dreams and astral travel and the class ended abruptly. I then met a woman with long, light brown hair who was shorter than me. When I saw her, I instantly felt drawn to her. The entire room had been dark but she was bright and her image very clear. I told her, “I like you.” lol We hugged and I felt we were long-time friends and she and I seemed inseparable. I sensed a strong heart connection with her and there was knowing that we were “partners”. She appeared to know this as well and we walked out of the room with our arms draped over each other’s shoulders. She disappeared after that, though.

Then there is memory of me and four others holding hands in a circle as we floated/hovered. The feeling was that we were co-creating/manifesting, but I can’t recall anymore. In the in-between more was revealed but I did not write it down and so now it is lost to me as well.

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Visiting Artemis – Message: Slow Down

It was a busy night and morning for me. I woke suddenly from a strange dream sequence at the end of which was a distinct memory of being in outer space surrounded by stars and planets. The outer space scene was completely different from the dream sequence and came with a knowing that I had been visiting with others during the night.

Dream: Mother Goose

The dream prior to the outer space experience was about helping a mother goose and her single gosling. I took them out of a cage and put them in the grass. We (I was not alone) watched as the mother and baby bonded and thrived. I remember walking to the edge of a stream. On the other side was wire and signs that said, “Keep out”. I remember being told I was not allowed to venture to the other side of the river and fence yet. If I tried, I would be stopped.

Memory Behind the Dream

The memories behind the dream emerged slowly. At first, there was just a knowing that I had been in contact with my counterpart. We were together on a ship of some sort, but we were not allowed to get close or touch. I vividly recall seeing outer space from within an open space aboard a craft and being in communication with a very, tall. E.T. I remember little about the E.T. other than seeing his hand and a feeling of great love and respect. There were also several planets visible. These planets were brightly colored, one reminded me of Jupiter.

Then there was memory of my interactions with my counterpart. There was a lot of conversation between us, but I can’t remember it now. At one point he was either dreaming or I was seeing symbolic representations of his current issues. It was explained to me that we were both working independently on our own issues and to not interfere with his lessons. What I saw of his issues/lessons looked like many small fires that were lit. Some were bigger than others, but most were small. There were approximately five total. I remember holding a garden hose and wanting to help him put them out. I was not allowed and it was explained that if I interfered the fires would actually burn out of control.

Then there was memory of standing on what I at first thought was the surface of a planet. I later was told it was a way station. I asked what it was called and heard, “Artemis“. In reading who Artemis was, I am certain the name was meant as a message to remind me to keep my own “fires” under control. lol

As I stood looking at the vastness of the universe from this vantage point, I saw a tiny craft landing. It was circular in shape. It’s entire bottom was lit up with a single, yellow light. There were also smaller lights projecting from either side.

Messages

I had so many questions about what had occurred and my guidance had to calm me down because my energy was sky high. The guide closest to me sent me an image of him coming down to my level and spinning me very, very fast. He told me, “This is what will happen if you meet him now. You need to slow down.” Then he began to spin me in the opposite direction and I felt my energy stabilize.

Calmer now, he sent me another message. This time I heard, “Inside Out” (the movie). I have not seen it but my family has and I knew what he meant by the message. He confirmed saying, “When you connect, all your emotions – everything you are – will come to the surface. All at once.” The feeling received with this message was too much too soon would be a bad thing. Again, the message was “slow down”. He said to me then, “You need to stay grounded. You are stabilizing more than just your own energy.”

I understood the messages but still, my energy was sky high. I knew something more than I remembered had happened. My body was aching all up and down my spine and my lower three chakras were raw. Apparently I am not allowed to remember everything at this time. Oh well. lol

As I tried to return to sleep, a song popped into my head. Yet another message to stay away right now. lol

 

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Taco Woman: Etheric Experience

After waking at 5:30am from a very eventful night, I tried to return to sleep. My guidance was close and I suspected I would not get anymore sleep because my energy was unusually high.

At some point I became acutely aware of music playing to my right. It was not music I recognized but it was loud and enjoyable so I tuned into it despite knowing this was part of the trance state. The words are lost to me now, but at the time the voice of the lady singing sounded familiar, like Natalie Merchant (10,000 Maniacs) but she was singing with another woman and their voices blended perfectly.

Sensing the subtle vibrations that indicated I could exit my body, I contemplated rolling out of my physical body and attempting an OBE. There was a distinct feeling at this time that said to me, “You know better.” So, I decided not to attempt an exit and just linger in the energies which encapsulated my entire physical body.

At some point my astral vision turned on. All that was visible was a shifty, black and white atmosphere of energy. This is indicative of the etheric which is the closest plane of existence to that of the physical. Usually it is an exact duplicate of the physical plane but in my experience this is not always the case. What I know for sure at this point from my experiences in this shifty, heavy energy zone, is that I am still very much connected to my physical body and something about this connection limits my perceptions and ability to move about. It is only when I shift into one of my other bodies that I can escape the heaviness of the etheric and enter the astral plane. This article gives an accurate description of the etheric body and explains what I experienced this morning. I believe it is also offers a great explanation on my experiences in the in-between.

As I lay in my bed observing the etheric plane all around me, a part of my consciousness detached from my physical body and moved around. I never went very far and I never felt the energy indicative of exiting my physical body. Yet I was able to experience the etheric in much the same way as I would have if I had been OOB. In hindsight, this is fascinating to me because it was so very obvious that I have been doing this throughout my entire spiritual journey and had never been witness to the specifics steps involved.

I saw that superimposed over the top of my bedroom was another room. This is the room I had entered and where the music, now silent, was playing. There was a large table in the center. It looked like a table one would find inside a restaurant kitchen – metal and quite high and about eight feet by six feet, maybe bigger. There were two woman bustling about. They were going through a refrigerator located at the far end of the room. I never saw it but I perceived it. One by one they pulled out empty containers from the fridge and put them on the table. They were discussing a need to replenish supplies as they did this. One woman put a large jug of orange juice on the table and there was an exclamation from one of the ladies but I don’t know the exact words other than to know she was pleased to have found the orange juice.

At this point I moved across to one of the ladies who was in the process of walking around the table. I reached out and touched her shoulder. I remember wondering if it would be solid. It was. I could feel her. Apparently she felt me, too, because she stopped suddenly, her eyes quite wide. I attempted to hug her and she pulled away. She said to me, “You can’t see me.”  I said to her, “I can see you well enough.” I remember trying to focus on her and was able to get a good glimpse of her overall features. She was shorter than me, about 5ft tall, wearing a light colored blouse and blue jeans. She had long, black hair and her skin tone was medium. Her body shape was very round and squat. I knew she was Hispanic.

She was very uncomfortable but remained there, never quite looking at me directly but instead straight through me. I asked her who she was and why she was in my bedroom. She didn’t seem to notice my room but she said to me, “Your husband buys tacos from me.” She then said something about being curious about him.

During this time I could feel the energy shift and the familiar feel of losing my firm connection to the etheric. It feels like a whirlwind of energy sucking me back into the physical. I remember thinking to myself as the woman spoke to me, “I need to look at my hands or say ‘clarity now'”. I did neither. Apparently just thinking about controlling the energy kept me from shifting back to my body awareness.

I apologized to her and let her resume her activities. I then turned to the other woman and asked her who she was. She was less apprehensive and her energy was more accepting. Unfortunately my son yelled from downstairs and I came back to awareness in my body before I could talk to her.

Considerations

Upon waking up in my body I wondered about this strange etheric experience. Were these woman real but in some other location that I somehow traveled to? Did my husband really know this woman? Was she dead or alive? Why was I allowed to go into the etheric but I could not astral project?

One of my guides was near and explained to me that I could not go far from my body right now because my Light would attract unwanted attention. I wondered aloud to him, “What do I look like? Am I really that bright?” He showed me what looked like a blue and purple flame. I recognized it. I had seen another who looked like that in one of my OBEs. I had been extremely attracted to that “flame”. It is so beautiful!

I wondered how the women perceive me. Did they see a blue/purple flame? I was then shown how they perceived me. I looked like a brilliant white and silver energy in body form, ever-shifting and fluctuating. Woah.

He explained that I was only allowed to travel to the higher realms now – the astral and lower planes were off limits. I wondered how I got to these higher levels. He told me They brought me to them, bypassing the lower planes/levels.

Later, during breakfast, I asked my husband about “Taco Woman”. He told me a woman matching her description often came by his work to sell tamales and other food during lunch. He buys tamales mostly. lol She speaks English but he usually talks to her in Spanish (he is fluent).

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Random Dreams

Just need to write these down to help me sort through them a bit. 🙂

Dream: Rainbow

I was receiving instruction. During this time, I saw a rainbow of colorful, wide, horizontal bands appear over top of my body. It appeared to follow the chakras and my interpretation was that I was aligned and ready for the next step.

Dream: Dirty Car

My husband told me he was taking my car. I got angry and stood between him and my car with my arms out. I told him, “You can’t take my car. Take your own car. This is MY car!” He ignored me and tried to get into the driver’s seat with my keys. I got in his way and noticed the black leather seats were covered in dirt. I said to him, “Look! See! You get it dirty and trash it every time you use it!” He said to me, “I will clean it up. I like using your car.” I didn’t believe him.

Dream: Moving to California

I was on a plane but this plane was much larger than any plane I have ever been on. There was a man in a very large bed who was having an affair with another man. I remember watching as he and his lover cuddled. There was an internal conflict within me. One side was okay with two men loving each other in such a way. The other felt it was unnatural.

Then I was being told I needed to buy a ticket to California. I was shown the round trip ticket was $202. Confused again, I questioned this because I knew I had already purchased my ticket. The screen showed it was a flight to San Francisco.

Then I was flying above a residential road in L.A. I was with my daughter I think but there was also a younger male with me who I knew very well. The feeling from him was that he was a friend/guide/mentor and that we often traveled together. As we flew, I remember discussing moving to California and explaining to my daughter why this was a good idea. I pointed out that we were in a rural area just outside of L.A. and so we could avoid being around too many people. There were houses situated on large plots of land. There were several that resembled houses from a Dr. Seuss book – purple and pink with lots of windows and pointed roofs.

Then we were walking along a road toward the city. We were on a hill and I could see the entire city below. It was beautiful. The sky above was a mix of day and night together. I told my daughter, “Let’s lay here and look at the stars.” I laid down on the dirt road in savasana looking up at the stars. I remember feeling happy for a brief moment. Then, a flock of sea gulls came flying in from above and landed just behind me. They began to come closer and I knew they would peck at me, so I turned and confronted them. They were so vividly real and quite large. I turned and walked toward the city.

Dream: Washing my Face

I’m in an apartment with others. The man from the last dream is there with his male partner. We are all staying together for some reason. The room is small and there are two bathroom sinks nearby. One is near a round window. I go to it to clean my face. I wash it but I notice my skin is peeling. I am sad and tell someone near me, “I hate my face.” She suggests I clean it again. So I do and noticed the peeling skin is gone but I am still unhappy with how I look. There is a huge amount of despair here and then total apathy. The woman with me tries to help me understand but my feelings overpower her words.

Dream: Winter Storm

There is a discussion about an approaching winter storm. I see images in front of me while the discussion takes place. I see a blizzard and ice and a map of the U.S. I remember telling one person, “In Montana, they have had snow as late as April. In Alaska, as late at May.” I remember being a bit confused as my waking mind tried to interfere in this dream. I was alarmed about the information because it matched a previous lucid to OBE experience I had. There is memory of visiting the southeastern U.S., specifically Florida but also the other states nearby. I see the mountains covered in a light snow and there is also snow on the beach.

Dream: White Hair

For some reason I was dying my hair. When I washed it out the dye didn’t take so I dyed it again. It ended up streaking my hair in huge chunks of brilliant white. At first I was shocked and then I laughed and said to my friend, “It’s okay. I just look like I have chunky highlights.”

 

 

 

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Prepare for a Journey into Yourself

I had some interesting messages come through my dreams as well as while in the in-between.

333

I actually received this one yesterday morning and forgot about it until later when I saw the clock and it was 3:33pm. Then the memory came back full force as if to say, “Pay attention.”

What I saw was a visual of an invisible hand writing on a chalkboard. It was written three times like this:

3
3
3

Then it would be erased and written all over again.

I looked up angel number 333 but the only part of it that stood out is the part that said this number combination was a sign of the “Jesus connection”. I figured maybe because the 3s were written vertically that perhaps I should add them up. The number 9 made sense as well. Maybe, though, it doesn’t really matter just as long as I pay attention.

Dream: Opening My Book

I had a vivid dream this morning of visiting a house with a white swimming pool and what looked like a water park tube chute next to it. The pool was being drained and re-filled. The water was completely clear and turbulent only in the tube chute area. I would not get into it, though, but was talking to the owner who was an author and discussing the many books he had written.

We were sitting at a table at a cafe. Across the way was a bald man. The other person with me pointed him out, asking me if I was interested in getting to know him. I said, “Not really. He’s old and he’s bald.”

I was then aware of a woman who I knew was a future version of me. I remember seeing her in a bikini and noting that she was still very physically attractive, but old. lol She had wrinkled, saggy skin in some areas and her skin had sun spots on it. I remember recognizing she was me and thinking, “I’m old, too.”

Then the man across the way was young. He had a lot of hair and it was long reaching to his shoulders. I remember thinking that age was just a consideration and that I could experience youth at any age. The realization made me feel hopeful and excited about life.

Then I was handed a book by the older woman (me). She had written it for me, to give me a message.

I opened the book and the page was completely black. At the top was written, “Pull tab to open.” I felt like a little child opening a present. I was so intrigued and curious! I pulled the tab and on the black page appeared white letters that said, “Prepare for a journey into yourself.” At the same time a part of the top of the page detached and upon it was a beautiful piece of artwork. I don’t recall all of it now, but I do remember that along the left hand side were letters of the alphabet, as if to represent the role of teacher. In the middle was written a name but all I recall now is the letter M. It was a collage and very colorful and bright. When I saw it I felt as if I had been given the most precious gift one could be given. I was filled with such anticipation, as if I was about to embark on a fabulous adventure.

It’s Wild World  

When I woke up the song Wild World by Cat Stevens was in my head. I have not listened to Cat Stevens in a very long time and have not heard this song recently. And I did not hear “it’s wild world” I heard, “you’re a wild one”, as if the message was to remind me of my wild side. Considering how I felt upon waking, it makes perfect sense. I felt young and eager to live. This is in such contrast to the last week that it makes me laugh.

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Message: Release All Judgments

For the first time in a week I had clear, vivid dreams and good, restful sleep. It obviously was a night of learning and reflection.

Dream: Being a Lawyer

In this dream I was called in to consult on a conflict. It became quite obvious to me that I was a lawyer. The conflict was between a very attractive blonde woman and someone else who I never met. The woman was very familiar to me and in hindsight I feel she was representative of me. The issue up for discussion was not mentioned but the feeling was that this woman was considering her options regarding relationships.

There was actually little about the issue that was discussed. I remember I was not the only one called in to discuss the situation. One man said to me, “You sure charge a lot for your services.” I remember telling him, “$150/hour is standard.” lol I also recall seeing a large, oval, mahogany table which is where the meeting was to take place. Somehow I cannot remember the meeting now, only that options were discussed.

The dream ended with me walking down a hallway looking for the bathroom. I was aware of being in a school and looking for the faculty bathroom. I inquired about it’s location and was told it was hidden. When I found it, it was taped off with red tape and I could not enter. I remember thinking, “I am not a teacher anymore. I’m a lawyer.”

Back to Reality

I woke up with this song in my head. LOL And it was released in 1989. There’s that year again. Sorry, it’s a cheesy video. Maybe it will make you laugh like it did me.

A Child’s Observation on Marriage

After thinking of this song a memory from yesterday popped into my head. I was watching The Returned and she decided to watch a portion of it with me. The exact scene was of a marriage ceremony right at the moment when the two were exchanging their vows – “‘Til death do us part…” She said to me, “That’s a lie. People don’t stay married that long. You and daddy won’t”. I said, “What do you mean? We aren’t getting a divorce.” She said, “Well, you and [insert ex-husband’s name] did.” I said, “Sometimes people stay married until death separates them.” Then I reminded her of her great-grandparents and she acknowledged it was possible to be married that long.

In recalling this conversation I wondered why she would think her dad and I were getting a divorce. She is very perceptive and also highly intuitive.  What also surprised me is that she appeared happy about it.

Message: Release All Judgments

My thoughts then began to focus on marriage, my own patterns and issues pertaining to it, what I have been taught about marriage, and the reasons we have monogamy and “rules” pertaining to marriage and relationships.

The Yanomami Indians of Brazil popped into my head during this time. My first year in college I was required to take a research course or symposium focused on the Yanomami. What I learned about them really stayed with me, probably because I got a 68 on my first research paper about them. lol They are polygamous and can be very aggressive. What stuck with me, though, was how they lived in small, close-knit family groups. I remember at the time being fascinated by this and how happy they seemed despite having none of the creature comforts we have.

This then led me to thinking about an article I read about a community, or commune, that was fully sustainable. I can’t find the article now, but this community had its own acreage and everyone contributed in some way. There was no forced monogamy and though people would couple up it was not uncommon for them to switch partners and polyamory was common. If there was a dispute, it was settled within and by the community. Children were raised communally. It was like a big, extended family. I remember wanting to do something like this and showing my husband who was not interested.

Around this time is when my guidance intervened and asked me to release all judgments. I was shown how I was judging myself and had been doing this all my life. I was reminded how as a young child I was directed to do this via my parents who showed me what was “good” and what was “bad”. If I did something “bad” I usually got a spanking or sent to my room or grounded. For me, “bad” at first was just plain curiosity. I see this in my own children and how I also limit their urge to explore via judgments of what is good and bad.

My freedom was stifled. My curiosity and urge to follow my heart suppressed by “rules” that dictated what was right and wrong. Who would I be if this hadn’t happened?

It’s everywhere in this world. These rules are put there on purpose to avoid negative situations. But basically its all fear-based. Monogamy was created to protect the family unit, to protect the pair from unforeseen acts of violence which are more likely to result from jealous partners. Parents enforce rules for the same reasons. Don’t go past the front yard is one of my rules because I fear one of my children will wander into the street and be hit by a car. Another wide-spread rule is “Don’t talk to strangers” which came as a result of child abduction cases.

There are thousands more, some in direct conflict with others. Honestly, I became overwhelmed by it. I felt like a fly in a spider web. How can we possibly disentangle ourselves from such an elaborate web of rules? Even our language traps us in the never-ending conflict of “right” versus “wrong”. Everything is judged. How can I possibly release all judgment? It’s as impossible as releasing all attachments.

Maybe that is the point. To realize we are playing a game with numerous, elaborate and often contradictory rules. We chose to do this. What is it that we hope to accomplish by being here? For me, I think, it is to recognize that I allow myself to be trapped in the web and need only recognize the lies in order to free myself from it. Nothing I desire is wrong. Nothing that others think about me is true unless I believe it to be. I am not bad for wanting what I want or feeling what I feel. I am beautiful no matter what I think, do, or feel – “good”, “bad”  or otherwise. Freedom is not accepting as truth the fears and judgments of others but allowing ourselves to experience in each moment that which we are.

This is why I am so miserable. I am trapped by myself. Not really funny but then it is.