Tag Archives: dreams

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Spiritual Loneliness

The energy surges are taking a toll on me. It started out as a high and then yesterday sent me into a restless numbness. I began to see my life as not my own again, but this time it was not in forgetfulness or lacking of emotion. No, this time it was a complete rejection of my life. It screamed, “This isn’t me! This isn’t my family!”

What is ironic about it is that yesterday my husband was gone all day and I had all three of my children at home with me. Since they are so young, I avoid driving places when I am alone with all three. So, we were home all day to figure out what to do with ourselves. I felt completely unmotivated and disinterested in doing anything. I was, in effect, a sloth-person. lol

The numbness bothered me so much that when my husband got home I searched the house up and down for something alcoholic. Anything. Unfortunately, all we had was scotch whiskey (yuck!). Thankfully, I was able to mix up a cocktail and have a drink despite my hating the taste of whiskey. I made one for my husband, too, but we drank them separately.

By this point I was so agitated (not sure why) that I became defiant. I got angry at this spiritual path I am on. I blamed it for how I was currently feeling and wanted the “transformation” to be done and over with. Of course, I had to show that I was in control, so out came the cigarettes my husband bought me months ago after I quit. I had one but nearly choked on the taste and nastiness of it. But I continued defiantly to smoke it until I could not longer bear the taste.

Thankfully by this time the drink had done its job and I was feeling calmer. I no longer cared one way or the other, transformation or not, and went to bed early.

Dream: Under the Bridge 

I had many dreams last night, but only one stands out to me now because of the message it brings.

I was in my Mom’s house in her bedroom laying next to my husband in her bed (I know weird). He was being flirtatious. I suggested we get a fishing pole and went and got one out of the garage. I put the hook where it wouldn’t hurt us and went back into the bedroom.

My middle son was there tagging along and my other two came out of nowhere and soon I had all of them surrounding me. I gave the fishing pole to my husband and retreated, feeling suffocated by their demanding energy. I retreated into what once was my old bedroom growing up and lay down on the waterbed (yeah I had one of those in my teens).

There was a small t.v. set by the bed on a table. It was on so I hit the power button to turn it off. It was one of those older versions, silver and heavy with large knobs on the left hand side. Then the t.v. turned on on its own and showed a green reboot screen. I was upset. Why did it turn back on?? I just wanted to sleep and here it was turning on! Not only that but it was playing music!

I tried to turn it back off but it wouldn’t respond. The t.v. turned computer was rebooting. That was when I noticed the song:

Well, I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way
I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I recognized the song. It was a song I use to love in high school. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Under the Bridge.

This woke me up. I looked at the clock: 5:30am. Talk about getting upset. I am so tired of waking up early for “talks”, especially after the previous day.

Spiritual Loneliness

After some prompting, I settled into my heart space and calmed a bit. It was then easy for me to see that I had slipped out of this space the previous day and the Ego had gained ground. But it was so easy to resolve that.

The first message I got was, “We must remove the negativity”. My answer was,”Good luck. I have been negative my whole life”. I saw then what looked like steam rising off my aura, but knew it was the a release from my heart chakra. So this is what is happening? Great.

A question was asked of me, “How can one be so lonely when surrounded by a family that loves them?”

I did not want to go there. To the place of loneliness. Yet I knew instantly this was my problem. I am lonely. I have been lonely my whole life. Lonely for my family. I miss them.

There was no emotional release just a request to go Home. Of course, I got, “You know you can’t. You have work to do”.

I then saw a long, hand written letter in front of my eyes. It hurt my heart to see it and I had a great longing rise up from within. I read the first line: I am sorry, brother, that we can’t be together right now….” But my conscious mind interfered and I could not read the rest. The loneliness turned to grief turned to disappointment.

I believe a reUnion occurred at some level. It is clear to me now that this reUnion has been difficult for me to process on this side.  From the heart this memory is less upsetting, though there is still a reaction. The longing is so strong in the heart that I avoided it and so it was not allowed to process. I have to process it somehow. When I try, all it does is remind me of what I don’t have and what I am suppose to do.

There is memory that we (my family) chose Earth families and relationships with souls we are not as connected with – like second or third cousins. We did this on purpose. We knew it would be a lonely path. We knew it would be difficult for us. Why am I so courageous there and so cowardly here?

Remembering is not always pleasant that is for sure.

 

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Shifting into 5D: What it Looks Like

I have so much to share with you all this morning! However, I am unsure how to format all of the information I received. I feel about ready to explode from what I have Remembered!

I am told to start slow so here it goes.

Shifting into 5D: What it Looks Like

Without going into my specific experiences which would be rather lengthy, I will break it down for you.

I am being allowed to glimpse my progression from 3D to 5D. Though far from complete, it is manifesting in me certain “symptoms” for lack of a better word.

Enforced Amnesia

For lack of a better description, enforced amnesia is a phenomenon I am experiencing and have been experiencing for some time now. It is escalating in intensity and becoming quite confusing to me. I experience it like this:

  • Lost dreams and conversations from dream-time. It is like they are plucked from my mind as soon as I recognize they are there. I am then left with complete amnesia. There is no way to locate even a smidgen of what was there. When it first happened it scared me and left me disoriented. Now it is not as disruptive and only causes me to feel disappointment for the loss.
  • Sudden loss of memory and connection to my current life. Usually memory is accessible but as soon as I try to locate what anchors me to this life (emotions which sustain and connect me to relationships within this lifetime) it seems inaccessible. This often startles me but this is immediately calmed by an inner Knowing.
  • Not recognizing myself when I look in the mirror. This is sporadic and accompanied by a feeling of being a stranger in my own life. I At the same time I am fascinated by my “new” face and inspect it with a new appreciation. This has only happened twice so far (thankfully).

I am told that the amnesia is the result of a change in frequency. My human brain is unable to process this frequency as of now and so the amnesia is the result. It is like tuning into a radio station using old, outdated equipment. My brain is in the process of being upgraded but this takes time and until then these amnesiac episodes will continue.

Shifting Timelines

As a result of moving into 5D I have gained the ability to shift into different timelines. Though this is a new phenomenon to my human consciousness, I am told this is nothing new and quite accessible to anyone who has reached this frequency level.

In fact, shifting into these different timelines is in essence what it means to shift into 5D.

Thus far, I have not retained memory of doing this but have instead been reminded and shown in visions (like a return of memory) by my  Companion Traveler. This new form of accessing memory is what I have been told will be my norm until the necessary upgrades to my physical body have been completed. My Companion is my direct link to 5D until I can establish it on my own.

Here is the process of shifting timelines and accessing 5D as I was shown:

A Link is established – I was shown several steps. The first is establishing a link. This was shown to me as a type of consciousness “jump” in which I shed layers of energy. It appears like shedding skin or taking off layers of clothing.

Travel to Relay Stations – This is hard to explain and really does not transfer well to human consciousness. However, the way I interpret it is travel to a spiritual hub where there is a group awareness of consciousness. When I arrive I link in to the consciousness, finding similar vibrations to my own and then move out from this hub towards a group destination. It appears like a massive, swirling, ball of colors and energy. There are lines of different colors – pink, blue, green, yellow, white – all swirling together in a great energy ball. These colors then stretch out along energy lines across space and time. These are like highways on which we travel. We are tuned into our specific “road” and so do not go off course.

Destination -From the Relay Station one moves onto other destinations. Some will have just one while others will go to multiples destinations. These destinations appear like balls of consciousness until one “arrives”. Once there, these consciousness swirls condense and separate into specific “locations” from which the individuals focus on their assigned task(s). I am told that these locations are the “vessels” or ships as identified by many who have brought back memories of their journeys to these destinations. The human brain cannot comprehend the experience and thus translates it into something identifiable and familiar.

Share to Expand Understanding

I was told that I am allowed to bear witness to my own transformation in order to help expand understanding of what it means to shift into 5D. There are many channeled messages out there which vaguely define 5D, yet there are not many actual accounts of experiences of such transformation. I am being allowed access to what, for most, is  behind-the-scenes information. Many, many are going through this transformation but are not consciously aware of the specifics of the process. They know the generalities and the impressions and images left in their human consciousness. I was shown that the “ships” or “space craft” are such impressions. These are not actual physical objects in space.

What I am being allowed to retain is the experience of my multi-dimensional self and the multiple timelines that exist. It is quite amazing and extraordinary. I was told much of it is beyond the reach of my limited human mind in understanding at this time. This makes me wonder if it will be something within my grasp at a later date. I guess we will see.

I will share my specific experience from last night in my next post.

 

 

 

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Message: Reassignment – Ashtar Mothership in Saturn’s Rings

I attended a company Christmas party last night hosted by my husband’s boss. Normally I don’t go to such events but I promised my husband I would. As is normal for me, the large number of people along with the fact that they were consuming alcohol, caused my energy alarm to go off.

I ended up sticking close to my children and away from the crowd in order to cope. When I did this it helped immensely and I found I was able to protect my energy. What is funny is that the more drunk the crowd got, the easier it got for me. It is like once they got tipsy the group energy stabilized and thus allowed me to lower my energy defenses somewhat. I still kept my distance, though.

Toward the end I accepted a rum and coke from a friend. I didn’t drink it all but got reprimanded by my Companion for drinking it. He said, “We must keep this vehicle pure by not introducing toxic substances”. I saw a visual of my liver and understood. Though just a small amount, alcohol can dramatically shift one’s energy. I could see the diversion of energy into channels surrounding the liver while my body was processing the alcohol.

Dream: New Assignment

I struggled to sleep (not surprising after alcohol intake) and when I did sleep it was deep and restful with few dreams. However, this morning I awoke in the early morning feeling “alerted” to something. At the same time my crown chakra was buzzing.

I returned to sleep and had a dream where I entered a classroom full of high school students. I had no idea where I was but knew I was a “new” teacher at this large school. I remember another teacher came in and took over the class, allowing me to help students individually. I felt like the “co-teacher” or “assistant”.

While I was helping a student a female teacher entered the room and confronted me. “Who are you? Are you new here?” I told her I was. She began to tease me in a nice way, laughing and trying to be friendly. She invited me to lunch and I declined, feeling a bit out of my element.

There were two male teachers there as well. They also teased me, making remarks one would make to a newcomer. All was in fun and none taken the wrong way by me.

I could not for the life of me remember why I was there or where I came from. I went into the halls to find the administration and figure out how I got there and where I was. The halls did not resemble a school, though, and I wandered to a waiting area where others sat on comfy couches. I went to the front desk and was told to “Take a number”. I reached for a number but had thick gloves on so it slipped, but it was the number 8.

Then I ended up going to lunch with some others and had a dream within a dream of encountering a dark black wall which I climbed to the top of. It was nasty, like made of sludge. When I got back they had already called my number and I was told I had to draw another one. I showed them my number 8 and they accepted it. I then asked where I was and saw a planet hologram floating in front of me. It was large and resembled Earth but had a very large, dark spot on it similar to Jupiter’s spot only black or dark gray. I got confused as memory tried to surface. I recalled this planet clearly for a moment and then the memory vanished.

Message: Reassignment

When I woke I questioned the dream I had and what was going on. There came into my mind the image of symbols on a gray metal-like surface. I recognized it instantly as a ship and the symbols were familiar. I somehow knew this was not my Home ship so I asked where it was. I saw a planet with numerous rings around it and knew it was Saturn. I saw that the ship I had visited hid inside the rings, becoming a part of them so as to not be detected. I also heard, “Ashtar” which I instantly tossed from my mind assuming it was just my conscious mind interfering.

I thought I was done but more information came. The dark spot I saw on the planet in my dream was symbolic of the “dark”. I understood “dark” to mean negative energy but really it is the “misuse of energy”. The dark spot was over a specific region of Earth and I wish I could remember it better but I want to say it covered all of North American and part of Central America. I don’t know if there are more dark spots (likely) but this was the area I was shown. This is the area where I am located so it makes sense that I was shown this.

It appears that I have been “reassigned” and so was being introduced to a new “crew”. When I questioned this I was told it is a “ground crew”. “We spend most of our time on the surface” was the response I received to what this ground crew is. My dream was symbolic of my introduction to my new crew and new assignment.

There is also a faint memory of an individual, a man, who came forward to introduce himself. He presented to me a hand-written message which promptly disappeared as soon as I tried to focus on it. He was speaking as I read it so I was able to hear him say, “I am…...52“.

Because I was told this ship resides within the rings of Saturn as it observes Earth, I was curious if anyone else had received this information. I found an article that confirmed my suspicions almost right away. I also looked up Ashtar but I don’t know how I feel about it yet. Something about the information I read does not resonate with me so I am inclined to distance myself from this link until it does resonate. Perhaps the reason it doesn’t resonate is because this is “new” territory for me.

For those of you who don’t normally follow my blog, you should know that I do not seek out information via books or the internet unless I am led to do so. Therefore, I do not have background information on Ashtar or motherships in Saturn’s rings. I have in fact never considered the rings of Saturn to be anything other than a debris field.

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Dream: You May Now Exit the Karma Train

Prior to bed last night I still felt weird. I had buzzing on the left side of my body and my crown was wide open. Then my left ear began to ring a very high, pitched ring. I felt/knew I was being “called”. I knew there would be a meeting in the night. I didn’t care if I remembered it or not.

As I began to drift into sleep, I began to hear a melody in my mind along with syllables I didn’t recognize. I felt prompted to sing this repetitive tune and the words with no meaning to me. When I did I was hit with a rush or warm, tingly energy that entered through my back at my heart center. It spread to my second and root chakras and was wonderfully comforting. I fell asleep not long after.

Dream: You May Now Exit the Karma Train

My sleep was deep without many dreams. In the early morning I had one very vivid dream, though. A dream about a train.

I was on board a train and it was being bombarded by bombs. The conductor was there, dressed in white. He seemed frantic. I joined him but saw a huge hole in the bottom of the train that had a magnetic pull to it. It sucked everything toward it. I watched a woman in black be sucked into it. The hole was black and ominous.

I decided to jump off the train. I found myself standing in the center of a circular train track. The train went round and round seemingly forever. I just stood there watching, glad to be off of it.

When I woke I knew it was the train of karma. We are stuck on it going round and round and round, over and over. All we have to do is jump off, but so many of us don’t. We don’t even know we are on the train.

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Message: Our Ship Has Suc-Seeded

I slept hard last night but had a long, in-dept dream this morning. I am told that the deep sleep occurred because a re-alignment is in process. It seems always that I am realigning!

Dream: Gentle Giants

I was co-teaching a class of middle schoolers. This was a temporary assignment I was asked to help with, so I agreed. I was not comfortable with it fully, however, because I had to administer to them a test. I ended up letting my co-teacher give the test. It as a history test of 20, multiple choice questions.

I observed the students while they took the test. What is strange is that there were hundreds of them! Most were playful and be mischievous. When caught they obediently did what they were asked to. One girl put lipstick on me and I allowed it. So strange!

I was then going to the parking lot to leave (I had stayed too long) and was seemingly transported to a different scene in which I was the observer.

There was a man looking in through the window. He was very large, probably upwards of 8 feet tall. He looked human but his skull was very large with strong cheekbones and a high forehead.

I interacted with him but soon found he was very simple minded. He told me of his life story and I knew he was badly treated. Orphaned at a young age he fell into a crevice and was left for dead. Strangely, people threw coins at him rather than help him.

He somehow survived but the incident left him without legs. I saw instead he had prosthetic legs made of metal. I wonder, though, if those were his real legs.

His job and the job of others of his kind (there were very few) was to mine the salt mines. I saw extensive tunnels of salt mines. It was a marbled rose colored salt and very beautiful. I saw the crystalline properties of this salt up close. I do not believe it was like table salt.

This gentle giant had intermingled with a woman who was much smaller. They had produced a child. I remember seeing the child. The woman treated him very abusively because of his simple mindedness. Even though he had been treated horribly, he did not hold any grudges and was very happy.

Considerations

When I woke I considered the dream sequence and wondered if perhaps the dream was showing me the history of these long, lost gentle giants. Was this Earth history? I suspect it might be but since it was a dream I am not sure.

The salt cave was very vivid. Apparently there are actual salt caves in the US and there is a salt mine in the Himalayas. Very cool!

I contemplated it but fell into the in-between. I felt myself in space again, transported to a void where a brilliant white light flashed. It brought my awareness back but not before I heard a voice say, “Our ship has succeeded”. However, when I heard the last word I saw it spelled, “Suc-Seeded” and there was a mild chuckle with that.

Oh the humor my Team has!

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Dream: A Whole New World

I struggled to fall asleep yet again last night. I was concerned I would miss something important. I could feel that something was going on and I knew I was not to be allowed to remember it. I did not like that!

Often I would begin to fall into the in-between and felt to be carried away gently into the unknown. It was similar to falling to sleep except that I could feel my assistants encouraging me to come with them. But I wanted to know what was happening so each time I would wake up.

I heard my Companion say to me, “Ask for help”. So I did. I said, “Please help me. I want to sleep. I want to know what is going on”. And I soon fell asleep.

Dream: A Whole New World

I was with an older woman and a few others. We were preparing for a ceremony where we reenacted a wedding. It was like a renewal of vows but there were no vows. Instead, I was to sing the song I sang at the original wedding – my wedding.

I heard the music and the woman and I went over it. It was the song Let it Go. It had some difficult parts and I said, “I don’t think I can do those parts. I don’t remember those being there before”. She said, “You are right. Let me find the original music”.

She returned with the original music and showed me the original wedding invitations as well. She had a pile of them. They were baby blue in color with snowflakes on them.

I said, “You always keep things like that! You are awesome!”

Then the time came for me to sing. I walked up in front of a huge group of people. A was told to stand in front of the monitor which projected the words to the music for me to read. But I already knew the words.

The music started but I chose not to sing at the last minute. Yet I heard myself singing anyway. I sounded so beautiful, like an angel singing!

I watched the crowd of people and saw many faces I recognized. They were all crying from the beauty of it. I heard the words from Disney’s Let it Go but I also heard words from another Disney song – from Aladdin, A Whole New World. They mixed together like the same song and everyone was crying such happy tears.

I awoke in tears. The feeling I had was a mixture of happiness and sadness. I don’t understand it even now. The lyrics to A Whole New World were going over and over in my head while at the same time I was hearing, “Let it go”.

I suspect that I am holding onto something which is getting in the way of movement forward, movement toward my true purpose for being here. I am holding onto this part I have been playing this whole life. It’s time to stop being the “actress” and to be who I came here to be. No wonder I am sad.

 

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Prompting from My Team

After yesterday’s sudden memory of dreamtime work, I found myself struggling with massive heart chakra fluctuations. I would go from feeling normal to suddenly being very emotional. I busied myself baking Christmas cookies for most of the day to avoid it, but there was always a feeling that my attention was needed elsewhere. There came with it an urge to sit at the computer and write, but I was afraid of what would come out.

Night Brings Memory

I desperately wanted to sleep and wake to a new day, but it seems that was not meant to be. I tossed and turned for a good three hours before I finally slept. In that time I would often slip into the in-between; on the edge of sleep and wakefulness. It was like when I crossed that “line” there was a floodgate opened and all that transpired previously – my “other” work – would return.

The memories would wake me up with a start and I would ask they be removed and they would. Yet some remained, enough for me to feel the urgency behind them and the prompting from my Team to allow these memories to remain.

Thankfully, I fell asleep and do not recall much of my dreams. I do remember once again being a teacher of children, this time high school aged. I felt very calm and composed despite their misbehavior. It is like I transformed into a much wiser, more patient guide to them compared to my actual time teaching in the physical.

I awoke much too early for my liking – 5:30. I felt immediately the presence of my Team. One was close and persistent. I would fall into the in-between and it seemed like he would slip into my consciousness symbols and memories. One such symbols I saw looked like a large pecan. I thought, “pecan” and was corrected by him – “chromosome”. I recognized the similarity and almost laughed but then got upset because I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to get me to remember something and I was set against it.

Another memory came to me in a very detailed image of blueprints. They appeared to be blueprints for the building of some kind of machine. It was curious and I knew it belonged to a type of aircraft and that part of the blueprints included the platform on which it would land. I was curious but then again pushed it away as if yelling, “No!” Yet the memory remains solid in my mind even now.

As I tried to settle into my heart center I felt this assistant nearby. I received communication from him on behalf of my Team. “We want you to Remember. It is of the utmost importance”.

I do want to, but then I don’t. I am conflicted.

I received communication that I would Remember. I was told I would be “visited”. I am not sure what that means nor do I really care. I can request it be saved in my subconscious to be remembered later.

Prompting 

Though I do not open the doors to the full communication, I can feel what it is They want me to do. They want me to fully accept what I Know and am Remembering. This includes sharing it with others. The reason I feel urged to write is to share what I am experiencing and Remembering. This is part of my mission here. It is meant to be more involved than I am allowing it to be.

I have a strong draw to connect with others like myself. At first I was just reading other blogs and websites and perusing Facebook. Now, though, I am feeling a strong urge to connect with certain groups and people – meaning send them emails or telephone them. I resist, though, because to connect with these group and people means I am accepting my experiences and knowingness fully. I am not sure I am there yet. Some of these groups and people are very “out there” in their beliefs and experiences. There are contactees, abductees, Starseeds, channelers, and others. I am drawn to them very strongly. I feel like I have to talk to them, but about what I have no idea.

Shifting into Alternate Dimensions

I wanted to add one more thing before I forget again. The reason I am struggling to fall asleep is that as I slip into the in-between I feel a strangeness come over me. It is an odd feeling that I cannot describe and it unsettles me. It reminds me of previous experiences I have had where I feel that pieces of me are leaving or returning. It scares me but really I should not be scared. When I feel this fear my Ego driven consciousness awakens and the feeling subsides. But it returns as soon as I near sleep.

I am told I am shifting into alternate dimensions. I cross over the veil or whatever it is that divides this world from the next. The feeling is my energy body moving out of my physical body but not in the way that is usual with an OBE. There are no vibrations like with OBE. It is subtler and hard for me to understand. It has to do with a new ability I have not fully awakened to (I am doing it but it has not fully integrated with this consciousness yet) and the crystalline body is involved.

When I shift is when the memories come flooding in. I feel different when this happens. Like I am me but I am not me. I suspect this feeling is my Companion taking the pilot seat and me stepping back. Except that I don’t step back. I freak out when the Knowingness and the strange feeling takes over.

I will say that the urges I am feeling to connect with others like myself and to speak up about what I am going through are getting stronger and stronger. I almost blurted out to my husband, “I am talking to aliens” but held back this morning because I was not ready to get into a long dialogue about it. But I suspect I will eventually blurt out something soon enough if this urgency, this prompting of such intensity, continues.

I know why I am so resistant. The urgency and the intensity of it scares me. I feel unable to control it and the things I Remember and experience. This creates fear and resistance from the Ego and is in the way. I am told I will “relinquish”. Probably. They are always right.

 

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Dream Work Remembered

After writing my last post, I kept feeling like I needed to write more, but I didn’t know what or why. I had a strange feeling following me, so I decided to go grocery shopping for Christmas cookie ingredients to get clear my head.

On the way home I had an unexpected vision of the Earth as if viewing it from space. When I saw it, I felt an intense sadness and suffocating grief come over me.

Then I remembered why.

Dream Work: Assisting the Preparation

All at once I remembered what I had been doing in my dreams. Early in the night I awakened from the most intensely emotionally disturbing dream ever. Thankfully the dream is almost completely erased from my mind. Images remain, as does the intense emotion and the memory of where it came from and why.

The images are of people of various ages and genders. I didn’t know any of them but there were hundreds, maybe thousands. I was trying to help them, trying to calm them down. They were all in despair and suffering from various stages of shock. Some were missing body parts. Others were injured in other ways such as abrasions on their face, hands, legs and arms. Some were looking for loved ones.

The scene they were coming out of was full of dust and debris making it hard for me to see. It seemed like a massive explosion or some kind of disaster area. I don’t know what happened whether it was an explosion or something else. All I know is what I saw and the intense emotion I felt for the people I was trying to help. I became so involved in what I was doing that I began to confuse them for people I know in my life. This is why I believe I became so distraught. I had been reminded to “remain objective” the day before. Had I done that I would not have taken on the emotion and pain all around me.

It felt like I had visited Hell in my sleep.

Relief Given

When I awoke I was crying in heaving sobs. My nose was so clogged and my pillow so wet that I must have been crying for a while. I don’t remember much of what happened when I woke except that I was aware that something horrible was going to happen and I didn’t want to feel what I was feeling. I asked to sleep, and so I returned to sleep quite quickly. Apparently I also was relieved of my memory because when I got up this morning I had absolutely no conscious memory of this at all (not the dream, not my tears or wet pillow – nothing). Just an odd feeling that was bothering me.

Memory Recovered

When all this came back to me on the drive home I was hit with such despair that I almost couldn’t breathe. My Companion took it away, though, just by saying, “It’s okay”. I felt the warm, loving energy come into my heart and spread out and I heaved a sigh of relief. But it was too late to avoid the memory. I had it back.

I instantly knew what I had been doing in my dream. I was assisting people who would be involved in a crisis that would end their lives. I instantly knew they were “preparing” – that they knew this is what they had agreed to. I am not sure why I was assisting but it was overwhelming to my Earth consciousness.

I cried when I saw the Earth in my vision because I feel loss for it. The feeling is what I would image I would feel if my own child were taken from me and destroyed right in front of my eyes.

I understand why I felt so weird this morning, now. I don’t want to scare anyone, but after this memory and experience and the emotion of it, I feel again that sense that time is running out.

There was also a strange feeling that there will come a time when I will “speak for them”. It is like They will make themselves known and people will be afraid and I, and others like me, will speak on their behalf to help calm people and explain why they came.

Honestly, when this kind of information comes to me and in such a way as this I think I must have woken up inside a movie or something. It is so bizarre. What the heck is going on?

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Dream: Wear Your Glasses

Just recalled a dream I had forgotten that I believe is significant.

Dream: Wear Your Glasses

I was driving to a party. I saw a row of houses lined up and spotted my destination. It was the only white house on the block. Not only was it white, but it was flat-topped, adobe style, stucco. The main area was lower than its two, taller sides which almost made it look like a miniature castle.

I did a u-turn and parked my car. As I opened the door, the host and hostess came out the door. As I got out of my car I said, “But I didn’t even knock yet”. They said, “We heard your arrival”. I recall vaguely hearing a bell ringing when I parked my car and thought it odd.

They escorted me inside. I was the first guest. I walked into the living area where there was a white, marble fireplace in the center. I recall seeing lots of wood molding and trim as well as flowers and nice furniture.

The host and hostess stood and watched me look around. Then one of them asked, “Don’t you want to put on your glasses?”

Surprised, I peered around the room, checking my vision. Did I need glasses? No, I could see quite well.

I told them, “No, I can see fine”.

Then they asked again, “Don’t you want to put on your glasses? It would help you see better”.

I said, “No, I don’t want to”.

Again, they asked me if I wanted to put on my glasses.

I thought about it. I had glasses, I remembered that, but I could see fine. I was seeing fine right at that moment. Yet the question was repeating.

My response this time was, “No, I don’t think so. If I put on my glasses then I will have to take them off again and then things just won’t look the same. I will know what I am not seeing and want to see it all the time”. I was sad about this but to me it made more sense to avoid the disappointment that would inevitably follow me taking my glasses off again.

Considerations

I told my mom about this dream and she said, “Sounds like you don’t want to see something”. True, very true. What? I suspect that I was being given the option to expand my awareness or perception in this body and for some reason I thought of the after-effects of having such an opportunity and felt it was not worth it.

I can completely understand why I would reason this way. So many, many times now I have had awe-inspiring, eye-opening, jaw-dropping revelations and/or experiences. And every time the wonder and awe of the experience leaves behind a gaping hole that cannot be filled by this physical experience. Physical life and what it has to offer doesn’t even come close.

I am left here longing for another experience to fill the hole; longing to return Home.

I suspect I was offered another glimpse into the unknown. With all the glimpses I have had up to this point, and all I have learned, I guess whatever it was caused me to feel the hole left behind would be too much for me right now.

I kinda want to kick the me in the dream right now. Grr!

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Dream: Signing a Contract

I slept fitfully last night and woke way too early. I also awoke in a foul mood. It was as if I had been fighting with my Companion and Team during the night.

Dream: Signing a Contract

In this dream I was inside a school lab working hard on lesson plans. I had in front of me pages and pages of hand written plans.

A man came into the room and I told him, “I have almost completed plans for the entire year”. He acknowledged but appeared serious. He placed in front of me a single sheet of paper. I read it and knew it was a contract. At this time I felt I had been hired to be a middle school science teacher. I signed without resignation. I recall the date I wrote was 7/10.

Upset

When I awoke I was upset. The signing of the contract triggered me to wake and I had a resistance to it but I don’t know why. I suspect I have been asked to fulfill an obligation that is “mundane” in nature. That is what it feels like anyway.

As I was still in-between I was able to clearly see the man from the dream escorting a young man to meet me. I stopped the communication right then. I didn’t want to know anymore. I knew whatever the agreement was involved this man but by experience I also know that rarely do the people I see in my visions even slightly resemble the actual people I meet in life.

scorpionDream: Scorpions

When I fell back to sleep, I had a dream in which I leaned over and a bug fell out of my hair. I watched as it grew into a black scorpion. I had an urge to kill it but needed something to squash it with. I found a shoe but behind it was another scorpion. I ignored it and pursued the one that fell out of my hair because it was growing in front of my eyes.

I cornered it. It now appeared near the size of house cat and was shrieking like a wounded rabbit. It’s stomach was protruding and it almost began to look like something other than a scorpion.

I swatted at it but couldn’t get it. Then it fell into a deep, black pit. I knew the pit was deep and I heard it shrieking as it fell and as it hit the aluminum ladder that led to the bottom of the pit.

Warning

I awoke feeling the message was not a good one. This scorpion was symbolic of something I did not want to acknowledge. It falling down the pit only meant it was being pushed deeper when it needed to be confronted. It would come back up at some point and there was not avoiding it.

Other Dreams/Feelings

I had many other dreams, but they are all mixed up together now.

I recall one where I was being asked to help with making a birthday present for a man named Bruce. I preferred to be online chatting but there was a problem with my device. I was asked to “grind the crystals into a powder”. I asked why and was told it was part of the present and saw this device that appeared to send signals as it had two large speakers on it. In the middle was a cluster of crystals, blue in color. I told the person, “I don’t want to!” and refused to grind the crystals, instead going back to my device. I kept missing the messages I was getting, though.

In another dream I was teaching and a particular student was disruptive. I reacted unlike I would normally. I ignored him and just took away points from him. I recall he had really messed up things and another teacher commented, “Yeah, he does that”. Instead of being irritated by him and dreading teaching him I just took it all in stride. I had seen worse. I remember surprising myself in the dream because I did not think I would be so calm in such a situation.

I woke from this dream saying, “I don’t want to teach middle school! I hate middle school! Why is it always middle school?” I was reminded that I was teaching – not actually IN middle school. This did not make me feel better.

My overall feeling is that I am being asked to begin work on a particular part of my mission here. From the feeling and looks of it, the mission is continuing where I left off – likely something to do with education and children. Whatever it is, I am very unhappy about it. So much so that I began to ask to go Home again.