Tag Archives: energy

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Why is This Happening to Me??

I’ve been up since 3:30am so excuse me in advance for any discombobulated thoughts or wording.

The night was normal energy-wise, but I had received a message that my progress would be accelerated. No big deal. I had heard that before and so knew (kinda) what to expect.

Lucid Dream: Someone’s Been Cleaning Up

After a night of dreamless sleep, I suddenly became aware of my dream, semi-lucid. I was with someone and we were discussing my life, though what specifically is lost to me now. What I do remember is flying along a road I use to drive every day to school when I was in high school. I have everything about that road memorized I drove it so frequently. However, as we flew I noticed the road looked like someone had scraped the top of the asphalt off. Also, on the right in a field I knew well (I use to fish at the pond there) I saw enormous trash bags piled one on top of the other. These trash bags were the size of buildings! I remember saying, “Looks like someone’s been cleaning up”.

Lucid Dream: Meeting My Teacher

Then the scene shifted and I was very much more aware. I was going to school and had missed some classes so had to talk to my teacher. I remember meeting him, an average-looking man with black hair and somewhat darker skin than mine. He was older than me, probably late 40s – early 50s.

As we walked together toward the classroom, we walked on top of set dinner tables, which was odd. I remember our discussion was about him and his travels. He was telling me about India and the food. We specifically talked about Curcurma and I saw this roundish, cantaloupe looking fruit but I knew it was not cantaloupe. It was orange like the inside of the cantaloupe, though.

The class initially felt like P.E. class but then he explained I would miss the current assignment which was a lab of some sort with vials and glass tubes. I remember seeing the image in my head, like he put it there as a thought form.

He kept looking at me very strangely and I noticed this but ignored it because I am use to being stared at by men. Yet at the same time I liked him. He was very nice.

We began to talk more about me and I ended up having an in-depth conversation with him about my life – my education, my family, how I felt, etc. As we talked he would pace around in front of me and I was laying on a bed on my stomach with my head resting on my hands very relaxed. He told me about his current issues, but all I remember now is he complained about his lower back hurting him. He seemed really tired – tired of life and tired in general. I felt similarly and understood.

While we talked I began to feel a strange familiarity about this man and began to like him more and more. When he would walk closer to me (he paced a lot) I would feel this strong connection but it was bearable and he seemed to notice it, too, and would back off. I remember telling him about starting a family and my three children. He said to me in reply, “So you had three children in seven-and-a-half years?” I said, “Yeah” and then I realized how crazy it sounded and smiled. I also remember telling him that I got my Master’s degree but didn’t want to use it. He just listened and I felt he genuinely wanted to know about me. It was nice to be heard.

Then he was suddenly right next to me on the bed on my right. He took my right arm and wrapped it around his waist. Only then did I realize he had no shirt on because I could feel his bare skin. He said to me, “Put your arms around me and love me until the day you die”. When he said this (even now it is affecting me) I was overwhelmed by the most magnificent feeling in my heart center and I wrapped my arms around him as if I would never let him go. The love coming into my heart – the pure connectedness, the sensuousness, the electricity, the wholeness – surged into my heart and expanded outward. It felt like a huge bubble. Then it expanded down into my lower chakras. At the same time it expanded upward into my upper chakras.

It was pure, magnificent bliss beyond anything I have yet to experience. I felt like I was dying and being born at the same time.

Why is This Happening to Me??

Unfortunately, the intensity of the encounter woke me up and I immediately sat up and began to cry. The tears were slow and just came out of my eyes like a faucet. I both wanted to go back to him and to run away at the same time. It made no sense. It makes no sense.

I spent the majority of the morning in confusion. This encounter has me turned in all directions, not knowing what to do. I had to get up and smoke a cigarette. Yeah. It was that intense an experience and my mind was all over the place as was my heart. It was like my entire being was screaming at me, “Make a change!” WTF!?

I kept asking (still am asking), “Why is this happening to me??!” There are so many emotions and thoughts raging even now. I don’t understand. I can’t even fathom the enormity of this. It is beyond my ability to comprehend. How can I feel/BE/share such LOVE?? And what is even more crazy is that I know that love is ME! It makes me want to cuss every cuss word I know (and I have/am) and I don’t even fully comprehend why this is. Why does something so beautiful, so perfectly right, terrify me so much?

 

 

 

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More Heart Chakra Blasts

Today started out well enough and then by noon it was energy blasts to my high heart and heart center followed by a strange excitement/nervousness/panic – in that order. lol These would come in at an angle from my back through to the front in waves that lasted anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes. Afterward, I became very hot and thirsty and had to lay down several times on the floor to ground. My throat, crown and third eye were all buzzing with energy. I also found I could not go near the computer as it would trigger a weird panic. This also happened around the TV and other large electronics. A first for me and just plain weird!

By 4pm things began to settle and now I feel almost normal except that now that I am typing and sitting at my PC my heart is doing weird things again and I have energy around the back of my head.

Also, a strange thing happened to me this morning, prior to all this heart activity. While making breakfast I froze mid-egg-breaking as a knowingness hit me – hard. I suddenly knew that very soon I am going to be asked to move on to my next step. One of these happened in April 2014 and another happened in October 2002. The former was a tear-jerking realization and message from my Team. The latter was an actual command to “Get out now”. I guess this was part of the message I got to “Get er’ done” earlier today. Pretty funny then, not so much now.

I don’t know if the heart chakra blasts are connected to this sudden knowing or not. I was not too happy in getting this knowing because this next step/move is a very uncomfortable one. I hope beyond hope that I get more time to sort things, but sadly, the way these instances have worked out in the past, things really move. FAST.

Now that things are settling I feel like a major shift just occurred. I don’t know exactly what it means or what happened, but I can feel it. Something major just cleared out.

Oh and just so happens the K-Index is still in the red. STILL. Geez!

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Missing the Missing Piece

So it seems the energy has shifted once again. This time I felt it shift yesterday, mid-morning. I had a knot in my solar plexus and knew something was about to happen. I hate that feeling.

The day was okay considering I kept myself busy. I drove to my Mom’s with my three children and we spent a lot of time outdoors. It was a brilliant day in Texas. Spring is in the air and the temps are superb! Yet throughout this visit I felt sucked dry of energy and lethargic. All I wanted to do was hide in the house but when I did that I would become restless. So it was out in the sunshine for me.

Thankfully, I was completely alert and without brain fog while driving. However, since my mood had shifted, I did not feel like singing along to my music like I usually do. Life just seemed empty, as did I. Ugh.

When I went to bed I asked for clarity on some things. I had returned once again to feeling like my life was incomplete; that I was incomplete. I hate that feeling and it has haunted me all of my life. There is nothing worse than to feel a piece of you has been lost; like there is a gaping hole inside your heart that nothing can fill.

 

The Missing Piece

I had a long conversation with my Team during the night and woke up at 4am extremely sad and asking why I couldn’t exit this life. It all felt too hard. I didn’t want to feel the emptiness anymore. How can anyone live with such a feeling?! How had I lived with the feeling for so long?

I knew I had tried to fill the hole with everything imaginable – possessions, relationships, children, careers, hobbies, etc. Nothing ever filled it, it just made it less painfully obvious. I also know this hole had been present in all my past lives. Where was the missing piece? How do I get it back?

I fell to sleep and entered a dream in which I was inside a person’s apartment. It was a tiny apartment and very clean – everything in its place. It was tiny like a guest house or maybe an efficiency apartment. The occupant arrived and caught me there. He was young and fearful. At first he was blonde and fair but then he turned dark haired and familiar to me.

For some reason I went up to him and began to tell him about himself. He was reclusive – like a hermit. He did this to avoid others and their emotions as he was an empath. He preferred animals because they did not judge and only offered pure love and acceptance. I reached out and grabbed both his hands and looked him directly in the eyes and asked him to “read” me. He wouldn’t. So I told him more about himself and explained why he was feeling what he was feeling. I remember feeling like he and I were very similar. I told him some of his future but while doing so I could see the words I was saying scripted on a holographic screen in front of me. The words vanished and I heard, “System overload. Simulation terminated.” It was really weird!

Then I saw a group of people on the sideline – like an audience. I went to join them and knew we were a “group”. I remember associating us with super heroes calling us the Avengers (lol). The young boy was part of our group but not yet ready to join us.

When I awoke I could feel the emptiness inside very strongly and felt a bubble of energy from my root chakra down to my knees. Then I burst into tears.

I really, really hate the feeling. My understanding is that this missing piece is me missing my Wholeness. I miss Home. It is extremely noticeable right now.

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Into the Abyss

I awoke at 4am wide awake and with a very interesting Being nearby. If you have ever seen the movie The Abyss, then you get an idea of what I saw this morning. She looked like a luminescent butterfly.

I have seen the movie so many times I’ve nearly got it memorized. It’s one of my favorites. And look at what year it was released! 1989. There’s that year again. hahaha I have no doubt now that I saw the “luminescent butterfly” this morning just to remind me of this movie, and likely the year as well. Makes me want to watch it again. 🙂

Also when I awoke I had energy all over my body. It was very similar to what I feel when I return to or leave my body and astral travel. It wasn’t vibrations, just residual energy and very intense, too.

My heart chakra was also pulling very intensely and the warmth was still radiating out like it was yesterday. I began to hear light language in my mind. It was coming through me and I could hear the syllables and intonation. I just allowed it, as it was me mentally saying it. I felt it was an introduction and then a kind of activation sequence. I had an urge to record it, but I was too lazy to get up.  Plus it is all audio and I am not sure yet how to make an audio clip.

As this light language was coming through me, I once again saw the symbol I saw yesterday and started mentally painting it in my head. I kept thinking I needed to paint it, but I’m not very good at painting. With that thought I was receiving instruction on what colors to use and techniques. It was really weird. lol

I kept drifting into the in-between and bringing back information. Most of it is lost to me now but the feeling is still there. I was discussing clearing my “bodies” and I recall seeing layers of me, like frequencies I have been ascending through, or descending depending on how you look at it. I felt that my lower chakras were occupied by a different energy, a different vibration than even a week ago. There was knowing here that this was purposeful – that it had to do with the clearing process.

Dream: Taking the Wheel

I had many dreams that all stayed with me upon waking. In one I was driving a very futuristic type of vehicle. In the dream I refered to it as a “car” but it looked more like the inside of a space craft. There was a long, black dash that was approximately six feet long. I struggled to steer it and was receiving instruction from my deceased grandmother of all people. lol I realized there was a steering wheel at heart level that I was able to activate just by intention. It moved out and connected at chest level. It looked like a horizontal “I” – nothing like a car steering wheel. Once I grabbed hold of the ends, all my steering difficulties vanished and I successfully hovered/flew through various tunnels that were dark and streaked with light. I flew very, very fast.

Dream: Transplantation

I landed my “craft” at a vineyard. I could see row upon row of grape vines. It reminded me of Napa.

My task was to transplant a sapling of some sort. It had been uprooted and was withering quickly. I positioned it among adult grape vines. There was a significance to this that was palpable in the dream. I felt whatever I was doing was a big accomplishment.

Considerations

I know I have not been posting my dreams lately, but I wanted to share these two because they go along with how I felt when I awoke. I felt very different when I woke up – as if my vibration shifted dramatically in the night or something. There was a silent conversation between myself and my Team – streaming in through my heart chakra. I felt a significant shift had taken place. My Team was new to go along with the “new” me. I knew they would be helping me from now on.

There was also a feeling that I was transferred (like the sapling) into this body; trying it on or getting a feel for it. Acclimating. I believe, and I know it sounds crazy, that the craft in my dream symbolizes this change. This is very much connected to the K energy I had a few days ago in the lower chakras and heart chakra. There was a connection made, like roots into the ground except that it was a higher aspect taking root and establishing a solid foundation. I still feel like me, just different. It is hard to explain.

 

 

 

 

 

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Lucid Group Meeting

Yesterday’s energies really hit me hard last night. I took a hot bath with Lavender essential oil and then tried to sleep but was wide awake. My ears began to ring intensely at this time. This was one of those ear ringing episodes where it felt like pressure inside my head and the sound kept getting louder and then softer, louder, softer. This went on for the longest I have ever experienced ear ringing and my third-eye was intensely pulling. I quieted my mind and tried to focus on the ringing and that caused my crown to start to pull with energy as well. At this point it had mostly been my left ear but then my right ear started to ring as well and the sounds joined in the center of my mind. It was like they were located just behind my nose area. I could see a pyramid shape from my eyes and nose to this singular point in the middle of my brain. The sounds were of multiple pitches and it was extraordinary!

I am told I am perceiving frequency fluctuations within my energy body. This was first told to me in the middle of the day yesterday by on of my Team members. I had noticed his voice was very distorted and low. It was like one of those voice distorting devices used on cop shows. I had heard this before, years ago while OOB and it had totally freaked me out because I had thought it was a “bad” thing, like a “demon” (how naive). After this, I continued to hear his voice in my mind in this way. So, apparently these intense shifts in vibration/frequency this time around are really impacting my perceptions!

Lucid Group Meeting

I slept very hard and had numerous dreams.Rather than go into the dreams, I will continue to look behind the dream at what was really going on. My guidance is telling me this is the best way to look at my dreams now.

After waking at around 1am I asked to project. I felt this was denied but didn’t care and went back to sleep.

I found myself attending a gathering of “family”. I remember there being 7 of us but more were on their way. The locations was a very beautiful estate out in a secluded area. The house itself was reminiscent of a place I had seen on a trip to L.A. as was the grounds on which it was located. Everything was green and pristine.

I went up to a group who was standing on the veranda that overlooked rolling hills and a large swimming pool. We were discussing the year 1989 (why does this year keep coming up!?). In the dream, someone had gone missing around this time and we were talking about him. We talked about him as if he were my father. I thought of all the people I was with as my “brothers and sisters”.

This is when I met a young man whom I referred to as my “step-brother”. He appeared younger than I with long, curly dark blonde hair. The hair style he was wearing was like something out of the 70’s disco era. lol When we met we exchanged information automatically. It was like I had his whole life story in my head!

He told me he was born in 1962 (why did he look so young then!?) and was very proud of a car he owned – now an antique. A Ford something or rather, I think a Mustang. I remember knowing that most of my “group” came into bodies before me. I had been delayed because I had to abort my last life in 1971 (so I had been born in the 60s). Most of my group, then, are in their late 40’s to early 60’s. Makes me feel a bit left behind. lol

At this time another member of my group made herself known. She was an Asian woman with long black hair who also appeared young. I didn’t get info from her like I did the man, but she did show me part of her life. She had been to China or lived there and was “of service” to others. She was drinking a cup of tea when we were talking. It was in a small, porcelain cup.

Then my attention was focused back on the man who seemed genuinely interested in “catching up”. He showed me that he had gone through a tough time with his Earth family. Someone had died and not left a will and there was conflict in the family because of this. It felt like a really negative situation. I felt bad for him.

Then he embraced me and, since I felt I had known him forever, I embraced him back. I was very lucid at this point and remember that he wanted more than just a hug. It was like he was asking for permission to be more than just a brother to me. Kind of weird! But then I was open to this. Talk about incest! LOL

We kissed and I reached around and put my hands up under his shirt and embraced him. I could feel everything as if I was in the physical. I felt his shoulders and back and I could feel his lips and tongue as we kissed. I was fully into all of it, too, without any concern about cheating on my husband. It was really nice and so perfectly real!

We made out for a long time it seemed and I had no sexual urges turn on. My heart, however, was blazing intensely. This intensity is what ultimately woke me up. As I awoke I could still feel him and taste his lips. I did not want to wake up.

Soul Family

When I awoke I asked the guide who was present, “Who was he? Is he in a physical body?” I heard the name “David” and knew he was in a physical body right now. I was told that most of my group are in bodies presently.

I was then reminded that I had been told They were going to help me with my reaction to “family” so that I would not be overwhelmed (like I was in yesterday’s K experience). I realized that this lucid dream was exactly that. I felt a similar attraction to this man but I did not feel overwhelmed. There was no repulsion whatsoever. I felt connected to him – as if we were two branches of the same tree. There was a wholeness present – a feeling that his experiences were mine and mine were his. I specifically remember feeling that he was a brother to me. This is not the first time I have felt such a connection.

I was reminded of the ReUnion message I got not long ago. There was Knowing that we were all going to come together and I had to be ready for this. “Ready” in this particular instance means I need to not overreact because many recognitions and feelings will arise for all involved. I have little concern if the reUnion is similar to this dream. However, if it is like the previous night’s dream I think I would pass out from such a meeting. LOL

I also thought about the message I got that this summer was going to be “hot”. It appears that I am already heading down that road. If I keep having dreams like this one it is likely I will be one hot and bothered woman by this summer. hahaha!

 

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Today’s Energy

Just an FYI – I won’t be posting all my videos here. So check out my YouTube channel if you are interested in other ones. 

So the energy is intense today isn’t it? I’ve been riding the wave all day long and on one of those energy high’s I love so much. We are in the midst of an intense upgrade if you haven’t noticed. Looks like my Team wasn’t kidding when they warned me of its coming 8 days ago. Soon = Soon, this time around. lol

I’ve discovered that, for me at least, focusing on my heart center at this time is not the way to go. If I focus there I go into brain-dead mode and feel like I am floating around in La-La land. No good. I have kids to take care of and life to live. I can’t function in La-La land. So, I’ve been outside most of this beautiful Spring (yes I said Spring) day. It is near 80 degrees today in Texas with clear skies and blooming trees. That ground hog wasn’t joking when he said Spring was coming early!

Speaking of “ground” hogs (lol),I have been focusing all day on grounding, grounding, grounding. Yet even though I keep doing grounding things – being outside, exercise, essential oils, staying hydrated, eating grounding foods – I am still feeling my energy is all over the place. Thankfully I am at home and not interacting with groups of people or trying to have two-way communication with an adult. 😉

Yet I am still on this amazing high and feel so full of energy and information that I am ready to burst. I feel like a can of soda that has been shaken and shaken and shaken and when opened will spew it’s contents all over the place. This upgrade is indeed intense and I can’t seem to channel all this extra energy no matter how hard I try! If you watch the video, though I sound out of it (brain fog), my eyes are so dang blue! I don’t have a clue why they did that other than to blame all this crazy energy. The whole time I was trying to talk in the video I was spacing out and forgetting things. Talk about La-La land!

Oh, I just remembered. I was told, two days in a row now (keep forgetting) that there are “craft” of the inter-dimensional kind above Ecuador, Spain and Paris, France. I don’t know why They tell me such things. When I asked why, They told me these areas were areas that need attention – unstable energy that looks like jagged lines of green and yellows. Apparently the grid is still in flux and needing reinforcement. How this correlates to what is going on globally is beyond me. I don’t have time to watch the news and if I did my I would likely go into zone-out mode. I would love to hear if you all know, though. Fill me in. 😉

 

 

 

 

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Lucid Dream: Raising the Dead (Kundalini)

The energy shifted yesterday afternoon putting me in a not-so-good mood. I went to bed very grumpy and snapping at my kids. I also had problems with focusing on more than one thing. For example, while driving, my son was jabbering away about something – very happy – and I struggled to focus on driving and him at the same time. I felt on the edge of losing it and my eyes would not focus well either. It was really weird!

At bedtime I had a glass of wine to settle my nerves. I knew another energetic surge was coming.

Lucid Dream: Raising the Dead

I was inside a large, open house laying in a bed. To my left was a very ornate coffin with the lid closed. A woman, the caretaker I presume, walked past preparing to shut down for the night. I was uncomfortable with sleeping next to the coffin. I swear I saw it shake and kept wanting to open the lid.

I told the woman, “I can’t sleep next to a coffin. Is there somewhere else I can sleep?” She said, “Certainly. You can sleep over there.” She pointed to an adjacent room. I saw a nicely made bed with yellow covers and feminine design.

I went to the new bedroom but noticed there was no wall between the rooms which meant I was still sleeping next to the coffin! I saw the foot of the coffin was very close to the bed and again I thought I saw it shift like someone was alive inside! This totally creeped me out.

I went to the restroom to get ready for bed. As I was sitting on the toilet a very large black man opened the door. I tried to hide myself (I was totally naked) but couldn’t completely. The man reacted with surprise and then did not leave but just stared at me. I got a weird feeling when this happened.

He approached me and I froze. I was overcome with mixed emotions. On one hand I was completely drawn to him, on the other I was terrified. He was the complete opposite of the type of man I would be interested in yet a part of me was drawn to him for that exact reason. He was very large – at least 6’5″, and bulging with muscles. He was also either naked or close to it. I just remember seeing his upper half and face. Just being next to him made me feel very, very small.

The closer he got to me the more emotion I felt. It was that split feeling all over again! I felt the repulsion/attraction and began to think, “I can’t do this. I’m married!” Eventually I started saying this out loud, as if saying it would somehow fix everything.

This is when I became lucid. At this point he was face to face with me and I was squirming while also not able to move. I felt paralyzed! All of my lower chakras were blazing and I was overcome with the most intense desire I have ever felt and it was not letting up – it was escalating! The energy was moving up, up, up and my heart was catching fire. I had no idea what to do. I was completely caught up in the desirous feeling while also screaming out, “I can’t! I’m married!!” over and over. I laugh thinking about it now but at the time I was totally freaking out.

I remembered being instructed to focus on my heart when I was feeling fear so I tried that. Problem was that my heart was caught up in this desirous fire that was enveloping me. I don’t recall thinking about that, though. My only thoughts were that I was being unfaithful. At the same time I was trying to convince myself that it was okay and my husband would never know (LOL!).

So what did I do? I threw out both of my hands and began to focus on the palms of my hands. I could barely do this, though, because the man had completely embraced me and we were wrapped around each other – braided into one another! We were completely blending, braiding, into one another.White and black. Black and white. Like Yin and Yang.

The last thing I remember is seeing that both of my palms had vortexes of energy spiraling in them. They looked like they contained tiny, rotating galaxies! I could see the sparkling stars swirling in them!

2000px-Yin_yang.svgAfterward

The spirals in my palms woke me up. When I awoke the energy was still coursing through my lower three chakras and my heart was settling down. I literally woke up squirming. The energy was so intense that my body was involuntarily jerking and swaying back and forth. I yelled out, “I want to go back!” This surprised me. WTF? Here I had been both terrified and electrified and wanted more? Hahaha

The energy began to settle after a bit. My heart continued to pull with energy, though.

I wondered why I keep resisting. What was I afraid of? This is not the first time I have reacted in such a way to the advances of a “man” in my dreams. Something about the energy rising terrifies me. With my wondering came memories. Past life memories.

The one that was most pronounced was from a life when I had been a child slave in the U.S. I was about 12 years old and a group of white men gang raped me. As each would take their turn they would place a wood plank over my throat to keep me from screaming out. My windpipe was crushed. I almost died but I didn’t.

The other memory was of being hung in the Middle Ages. I had been male and caught fornicating.

My throat chakra began to blaze when these memories hit me. I heard from one of my guides, “These memories/lives will clear.” Okay.

I looked at the clock and it was 3:30am. I spent the next hour or so thinking about the experience and the symbolism. The coffin was especially interesting to me. I was scared of it. I think it was me inside the coffin. Part of me feels “dead” and I believe the entire experience was meant to get me to realize that I am literally being born again.

I also wonder – what will happen if I don’t resist the raising of this energy? It was so unbearably intense. So intense that I felt I would die from it but at the same time I felt that I would experience something akin to breaking into a million pieces of me or expanding into a million pieces of me. This would bring an ecstasy beyond words. Wow.

God help me.

 

 

 

 

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We are Travelers

This morning after the intense experience with my Companion, I Remembered and was told some things. Just trying to type this right now is making me shake with energy and my heart is buzzing.

First, I will go back to the message about Travelers and wolves. I knew my group is small and that we travel together always. We are all intricately connected. We sense each other. We communicate with each other. We are a “pack” and are connected as such. We do not normally physically connect while in our physical bodies while we are “traveling” but for some reason we are doing so this time around.

We are Travelers, at least that is how I remember our group. It is like we are called/sent to a specific place to do our work and then, when we are done, we leave. Together.

I don’t know if Travler is the same as Wanderer. Maybe. I have to feel that one out for a bit.

I was told that I was being “fostered” at this time. I don’t really understand it, but I guess it makes sense. We, our group, is suppose to Remember. It is part of our purpose so as to facilitate the changes occurring on Earth. I recalled briefly that we are here to help bring Earth out of the darkness, a darkness that has been in effect for a very, very long time. I chose to experience this darkness via incarnations prior to this incarnation so that I would better understand the experience of it. It is like a total cut-off feeling. Cut-off from the Wholeness. Hard to explain really, but I felt it, recognized it when I felt my Companion this morning.

Our group is small, probably only five or six members. I was not allowed to see how many exactly, but that is okay with me. The overwhelming heart sensations I am having and have been having since this contact is enough for me to know it is truth. The shaking is driving me crazy.

I was also told that my Companion is initiating the “exchange”, or has been. I really don’t know what to think of it but the experience I just had was very real and very overwhelming in so many ways that cannot be expressed.

I had asked for all this to be made “more real” because it has been so easy for me to dismiss as my imagination or a dream. I was reminded of this request this morning. Haha. Very funny.

All I can say is that now I know why I have not met any members of my group face-to-face yet. If meeting them causes the feeling I felt this morning then I know I would run all the way to Timbuktu to avoid them. It is an instant repulsion-attraction, crazy mixed up feeling! Yeah, I know, you wonder how you can have both feelings at once. Well you can. Trust me.

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ReUnification Begins

I was awakened around 5:30am (didn’t look at the clock until later) by a conversation I was having in the in-between. I saw very distinctly two words and also heard them. One word was “Traveler” and the other was “Wolf”. The words that went with them were “We are Travelers”. The two words were connected by a golden thread, as if they were one in the same.

This woke me for I remembered suddenly that wolves had been brought up many times previously but I had forgotten all about it. I remembered distinctly seeing a lone, gray wolf who was looking for his pack and feeling the pack was significant. I had meant to look up the symbolism of the wolf but had totally forgotten all about it. This was a couple of weeks ago!

Thessalonian

Now wide awake, I felt a presence and knew a member of my Team was with me. I didn’t immediately recognize him as I was tired. I drifted into the in-between.

Soon I was seeing something very distinctly alien in my vision. I saw immense arches layered over arches that were a bluish-gray in color. They towered hundreds of feet into the air. Behind them was a fuchsia and purple sky with light gray clouds and streaks of yellow throughout. I recognized this place instantly and it brought me out of the in-between.

Fully aware now, I still sensed the presence and exclaimed to him, “I know that place! Where is that? What is it!?”

I knew and heard the answer at the same time. These arches are some kind of communication tower, or relay station. The location was difficult to come by but I heard Vega as a reference point. Whatever it is it is absolutely beautiful.

Wide awake now, I began to receive information very quickly and it was quite overwhelming. I tried to grasp it mentally but could not. I remember images of very square looking objects, like craft, which were white and massive. I was only able to bring back one word – Thessalonian. I do not know if this is the name of the craft or if I am meant to read the books of the Bible.

Rather than read both books of the Bible, I looked up summaries of 1st Thessalonians and 2nd Thessalonians. They both address the second coming of Christ. I find it interesting that both books say “Christ will return in the clouds”. I should probably read the actual books, though.

Thoroughly stunned, I tried to settle my energy and relax into my heart. My mind was going a million miles an hour so it was difficult. However, I was able to achieve this. That is when it got really strange.

ReUninification

The presence who I had been with must have moved in closer because I was suddenly aware of seeing him face to face. His head was very large and he was most definitely of another world. I could see that the head seemed to balloon out on either side, like the hemispheres of the brain were emphasized. His eyes, nose and mouth were very small in comparison. His coloring was light, I want to say it was grayish but it was difficult to tell as I totally freaked out and lost the image.

I did not freak out from what I saw as much as I did from what I felt. When I saw him I also felt him. A massive amount of energy began to move up my body from my feet and wrapped around me as it progressed upward. I had a double reaction to this. The first was complete recognition and overwhelming love and the second was complete terror – the kind that either glues you to one place so you cannot move or makes you run as fast as you can in the other direction.

While this split reaction is occurring I am experiencing every kind of emotion imaginable and feeling warm energy wrap around and fill my root, second, third and heart chakras in succession. With each chakra I felt the corresponding emotions related to it. And though I could feel each chakra one by one I also felt them all at once. The emotions are indescribable and all the while I am feeling both overwhelming love and frantic terror at the same time!

The most memorable feeling was this complete, unavoidable desire to be with this Being – to try and crawl into his arms and then into him. This is occurring along with all the physical and energetic sensations. I cannot run but I desperately want to. And I am WIDE AWAKE.

Just when I think I cannot take anymore of it, the energy withdraws. I am not relieved, though. I want the feelings to stay. Whatever happened left me wanting for more. I could care less about the terror as it was so small in comparison to everything else.

And I knew who the Being was after this. Without a doubt it was my Companion. And I remember that he once told me that he would integrate with me from the lower chakras “next time” (he had done so from the upper ones prior, this was in May last year).

This is part of the ReUnion of Us. Wow-wee is all I can say. Damn! And at the same time I am terrified still. I want to run, but to where? It’s not like I can run from him!!!

And this ReUnification is not over. There will be more.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I was crying through the entire energetic exchange. They were mainly tears of joy.

 

 

by

Heart Sensations Return

I’ve begun this post several times and each time deleted it in its entirety. I’m not sure exactly why, though.

There has been a strange energy today following me around. It is not bad or good, just shifty, like the energy is about to take a leap forward. I checked the K-index and there is an active storm but nothing that would normally cause me to notice.

Perhaps it has to do with what happened last night. Last night is what I originally was trying to post about and kept deleting. I will summarize and just say that I had some intense heart chakra sensations. These didn’t hurt. In fact, they were the good kind and went all the way from front to back. It was like someone placed a tube right through my heart center and energy poured through it.

The heart sensations came with specific thoughts and knowingness. It happened at a time when I was speaking with someone, a kind of counselor. I was telling her about things I could not sort out in my life – very personal things. This is when the heart sensations kicked in. I was lucky I did not burst into tears. I was able to get out of the conversation in time. Then I was just in shock for a while. I had not expected my heart to burst open like that. I had done such a good job of shutting it down – or so I’d thought.

Then, after I returned home and the kids were in bed my heart started doing it again and I was overcome with an intense shaking all over my body. I am familiar with the feeling. It is something I had to deal with every time I did a mediumship reading and made contact with Spirit. It is like their energy is too much for me. It can get so bad that my teeth chatter – thankfully it did not get that bad last night. The shaking can also happen when I am talking with another person about deeply personal things. I have never quite figured out why it happens, though.

I wondered why I was having the shaking. I was not tuning into Spirit and not talking to anyone, so it made no sense. I felt my Team near and I wondered if maybe it was coming from them. As if to answer my question, I heard my guide ask me to focus on how I felt. When I did this, I could sense a blockage at my heart level. I was told that I was resisting the energy – the heart energy – and that I have been avoiding something.

And then the shaking was really bad.

And then it was just…gone as was the heart energy.

When I awoke this morning my dreams were instantly gone as soon as I tried to recover them. Frustrated, I tried to feel what happened in the night and knew I had agreed yet again to something, but I don’t know what. My heart chakra lit up again but faded not long after. With it, I was asked if I was willing to accept what it was telling me. I said I was, but honestly I am not sure about any of it. I don’t know what it is telling me, or at least I don’t think I do. Honestly, I am afraid of knowing.

Right before I got out of bed my Team again reminded me of the upgrade that is soon to come. I was told this time that it may frighten me. Then I saw a visual of light pouring down into my crown chakra and going all the way down through all my chakras and into my feet. From the looks of it, it didn’t seem so bad, but then if they say it might scare me, well, it probably will.

It has me wondering now if the strange feeling I’ve had all day has anything to do with this coming upgrade. I guess I’ll find out.

Meet-Up

There is one other thing. A group I am a part of on FB is planning a meeting in Mt. Shasta, California in May. I have been following the preparations from the beginning. Yesterday I decided, out of the blue, that I should go. I told my husband about it and, strangely, he had no objections. When I communicated today with the contact about arranging my flight my heart chakra was blazing with energy. Even typing about it now makes my heart light up. I got thoroughly excited about going and my energy went sky high.

Then, in the afternoon, I began to doubt my decision about attending because I only know the people who will be there via the internet. I also began to panic over something very odd. I had this strange feeling that if I went I would not want to come home. Then an internal panic button went off and I got a strange split in two feeling. It was really odd and I almost thought I was about to go OOB right then and there.

After this happened the heart energy ceased – well up until now anyway. I am wondering if this is any indicator of what it is that I am not willing to know/accept. Part of me thinks it is and when I try to consider it, the fear returns. All I want to do is cuss a million cuss words just considering that possibility.