Tag Archives: energy

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We are Yeshua

When I awoke from the OBE the three Beings were to my left. I saw them each as light but I knew immediately that they were E.T.s and that my OBE had been with them. They were the “midget men” who I knew were also the Prophet. I asked them, “Who are you?” They responded as one, “We are Yeshua.”

So much commenced after this that I am not sure where to start and I will most likely forget to include everything. So forgive me in advance. I will do my best as I know this is important for more than just me.

These Beings are very ancient and they communicated as such. They have been the caretakers of Earth from the beginning. They are not those who participated in the seeding of Earth, though. They made this very clear. They are of the group who have been called The Many, The Elohim, Melchizedek and other names I cannot think of at the moment. I asked why they always give me Biblical names and was told, “They are Our names.”

They told me they traveled from a different time but also showed me what this looked like. It was literally like they stepped into this time but it would be like they traveled a very, very long time to get here. I suspect what I was shown was them coming from their dimension to ours, but it literally looked like they just crossed over some kind of barrier, like a line in space. It was a dark line. They were on one side and we were on the other.

I asked what they were doing and was told, “You can reproduce better now.” I thought back, “Reproduce? I don’t want to reproduce. I’m fixed.” But then I realized this was their way of saying “sex” and understood that they view sex for what it is – reproduction. It is nothing but that. Curious.

We discussed how my previous lucid dream was my conscious mind’s way of interpreting the events prior to the OBE. I was on board a craft somewhere and was witnessing someone else have some kind of procedure done. I was told that I have a disgust for “reproduction” and that I needed to remove it for it was not accurate and something I picked up from the incarnation cycle. I recognized this disgust right away. My dream was just a reflection of it.

When I met the woman in my dream who was preparing to connect her laptop, I was told that I would be meeting with these Beings. For some reason it scared me and I started to cry. They explained that my human reaction is fear first – thus my reaction. They said they will help me find acceptance and understanding. For now the scenes I recall will be comfortable and at an acceptable level. Eventually they will be less and less so, but only to the extent that I can handle it.

I recall that the light I was looking at was the light used in whatever procedure they were doing. I recall seeing six 1 inch cubed crystals, similar to a dream I recently had. I didn’t see it in the OBE but recalled it almost immediately after I woke. These crystals were used on me but I am not sure what for.

This procedure is not the upgrade that is coming. It was a preparation for it. When I was told this my heart chakra began to light up and I was enveloped in an energy hug that fully surrounded my entire mid-section. I felt that there would be more heart chakra energy with the next upgrade. I melted into it for a bit, enjoying it.

The maps and diagrams I saw were almost forgotten but it was like they reminded me of them because the memory just appeared in my head. I tried and tried to remember the information but it was not forthcoming. I knew I was not meant to know. The information was about the agenda of Team Dark and the harvesting of humans. There is a purposeful increase in population beyond the ability of the Earth to support. It is disturbing but I am not sure why.

I asked why they were visiting me. They said to me, “You are special. You were chosen out of a group of volunteers”. I have been hearing that I am “special” ever since my first communications with my guide. I hate hearing it. So I said to them, “But there are a lot of us.” They responded, “Not as many as you might think.” They then said I was given “gifts”. This I understood to be my spiritual abilities but I did not ask. They explained that I needed to be “clear”. I believe this was what they had been doing in my OBE. I have specific judgments towards sex and intimacy that need to be sorted.

We also talked about the exchange that was soon to take place. It will occur after I am “cleared” (not really sure what that means). The exchange involves another aspect taking over and the current me going into stasis. I asked where I would go and was shown what appeared to be a pod made out of a fabric-like material with a zipper that went all the way around. I saw inside of it a woman – me – asleep and holding an infant. I understood that for me what happens while the other aspect is in control will appear like a very vivid dream. Interesting. I was told also that as they begin to allow me to retain memories of my interactions with them that they will surround me in a “calm” unlike anything I have ever experienced. I got a visual of being surrounded in what looked like a silken cocoon of energy. I am open that that. 🙂

There is more but this is getting too long and I have to get on with my day. I will write more later.

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Thinking with the Heart

This post is mostly for me so I don’t forget yet again my experiences prior to and during sleep.

The Dr

Yesterday the guide who I call “The Dr” came to visit and told me it was time to clear the toxins from my system so that I will be ready for the next step. He explained how the toxins pull my energy to Earth and create blockages which in turn slow my vibration. He said it is very important that I keep my vibration high so as to not suffer the residual effects of the next shift in energy which is approaching soon. The shift will occur regardless of whether I heed his advice or not.

Nightly Shifts

For the past few nights I have been experiencing something strange prior to sleep. I always settle down to meditate prior to sleep and lately I have not had much in the way of energy sensations, heart or third-eye pulling. It will be hard to explain because when I try to remember what occurred my mind tries to blank out on me and I feel distant. It’s like I can’t get my mind to focus or do what it is suppose to! It is driving me nuts.

Last night, though, when this shift, for lack of a better word, occurred I suddenly remembered the last few nights all at once and thought, “I need to remember this!” Then, as I tried to remember, the memory began to recede. It makes no sense!

What I remember happening is that I would one minute be laying in bed with a clear mind focusing on my heart and the next I would feel a strange energy come into me from all around. It felt like being swallowed up in energy except it was gentle energy, not scary at all and almost like being picked up and swaddled in a mother’s arms. As soon as this energy swept me up I was in another place and talking with someone in-depth. I have no idea what we were talking about now but I was most definitely somewhere else and feeling very different from myself.

Of course, when I realized what happened I dropped this other personality or Self and was back in my current awareness wondering what had happened while simultaneously knowing this was not an isolated event. I had been doing it for some time!

What is totally exasperating about all of this is that every time I would recognize what was happening I would feel intensely drowsy and begin to lose the memory while also drifting off to sleep. Sometimes the energy sensations would resume but I have very little memory of this so am not sure.

I suspect I am shifting into one of my multidimensional selves but I can’t really be sure because of the memory loss.

Thinking with the Heart

In these brief impaired memory moments I am noticing another strange development. When I am in my heart space I am receiving full communications that I fully understand yet cannot put into words. If I try to put it into words the communication via my heart suddenly stops and my mind is empty. For example, my Companion sent me a full communication the yesterday quite unexpectedly. It was via my heart center and I felt an overwhelming love and giggled as a result. I had full understanding of what he had told me but was unable to process it via my mind. It was like I was being the communication. There was no possible way my mind could interpret it. All I recall of the interaction was that I responded to my Companion like I might respond to a new lover. Quite surprising!

When the shifts occur at night, this same type of situation arises which is why I believe my mind seems to “erase”. My habit is to immediately try to interpret my experiences via the mind. This cuts off the heart connection, thus blocking the “memory” of what occurred.

I am at a loss at to how to deal with this shift in perception. I seem unable to do much about it. In fact, I believe I am being schooled in how to use my heart as my primary processor of information. How curious! And I am not able to really get a grip on how this works. I am starting to, though, but I wonder, if we use only our heart to communicate, what then of the mind? What happens to language?

As I just asked that question I thought about light language and also how when I have these communications via the heart I want to move my entire body, kind of like swaying or dancing.

I am also reminded of something that happened the other night while I was in my “other Self”. I received instructions on how to communicate via tones. It was like the tones I heard in my ears but with separation, similar to Morse Code but this is not a good description. I even spent some time trying to figure out how to duplicate what I heard and believe I could if I had the right equipment. I remember thinking this was something I was suppose to do but then completely forgot about it. No surprise there! lol

 

 

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Walk Along

Yesterday my crying episodes and intense grief lifted and turned into a wonderful, happy high. I spent the evening with family and had a good time. I felt normal again. Sigh of relief.

I had an interesting experience in the middle of the night. When I woke at 3am my heart chakra was wide open, exploding with a beautiful love energy but there was still a pulling sensation that would sometimes feel a bit uncomfortable. I was also being washed in energy hugs from my Companion. I wondered, “What’s going on?”

Dreams

It was then that I remembered my dream. In it, I had been having a discussion with a woman who resembled me but was very frantic and frazzled in her appearance. She had a familiar energy, though, like family. I don’t remember much of the interaction except that the woman was killed by a horse who kicked her in the head. I remember being invited to continue her work. I was not alone. My Companion was there with me.

Then I was a baby. A little, tiny baby swaddled up and just laying there helplessly. Innocent, pure – without memory or experience. The image of this baby and the feeling was very vivid.

Connection

The dream itself sparked a memory but this memory came from my heart and I can’t really put it into words. I knew that this was a recollection of the walk-in experience, though I really didn’t want to talk about it as it still feels odd to me to even use that word. Yet my heart flooded with such energy confirmation that I could not avoid being overcome by the love energy. I felt like I would just melt into my bed.

The energy in my heart just continued to expand and I associated it with my Companion. I knew this love energy in my heart was Us but I didn’t understand it and why it was happening.

The heart surge has a way of pulling me into the in-between when I let myself fall into it. This is what must have happened because the next thing I knew I was talking with my Companion. He asked me, “Will you marry me?” This made me laugh and brought me out of the in-between, back to the intensely expansive heart explosion.

Of course I said, “Yes”. It felt appropriate and also like there was some kind of agreement connected to it. Like a pre-arrangement for our combined evolution.

He said to me then, “We will grow together” and I again saw the little baby in my mind’s eye. It felt like we had been reborn together. There was a feeling of newness and curiosity.

It was explained to me then that we are ascending together, he and I, and that this is part of the process. He keeps telling me the intense purging, crying, and emotional rawness is all part of this process. It is letting go of the old soul – the walk-out. Releasing her. There was also a feeling of this being a process involving the spiritual “bodies” – moving through them, clearing and aligning them. Embodiment also kept coming up. I could see layers that were these “bodies” for lack of a better word. I don’t fully understand it but my heart tells me it is a normal part of the process, whatever the “process” is.

Walk Along

Finally, he referred to a group of three light beings hovering near the far left of my vision. They were far back so I only noticed them when he referred to them. He then said, “Walk along” and I knew he was asking if these Beings had permission to walk along with me/Us through this experience. I didn’t know what to say. So I asked if it meant they would just observe and felt this was right but that they would also contribute. They would contribute part of themselves to assist me. Like give me some of their energy but this doesn’t accurately describe it. I agreed. Why not? I can use as much assistance as I can get!

I felt curious about this “walk along” idea. I vaguely recall reading about it in Walk-Ins Among Us by Yvonne Perry. I visited her website and read this:

A walk-in can also be a companion soul in spirit form walking along with an embodied soul. A walk-in can be a fragmented aspect of a soul coming home and reuniting with the soul essence in a body. It can be a blend of soul essences in which two or more souls inhabit a body simultaneously. These may rotate in and out of the “driver’s seat” as needed to accomplish a task.

I find it interesting that she refers to the walk-in as a companion soul walking along with an embodied soul. This feels like my experience 100%. I feel the term “companion” is especially relevant. That is how Steven refers to himself – as my Companion Traveler.

I suspect that now that I have agreed to allow these light beings to walk along with me, that I will notice when they are present. But I don’t know. I guess I will see? 🙂

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Let it All Out

It has been a very difficult past few days. It was so difficult for me that I decided yesterday never to write in my blog again. I just couldn’t, for so many reasons. Then this morning I awoke feeling a bit better, though not completely.

My main reason for not writing is because I feel I cannot share some things on here that are crucial components to what is going on with me. They are deeply personal and not just mine. To share them would be a like a type of betrayal, but even this is hard to for me  to understand and I struggle with understanding it myself. I feel it is not beneficial to me or anyone else to share these parts of my journey because I do not understand them and I am not sure I will ever fully understand them. Yet it is so much a part of what is happening to me now that I feel unable to proceed without including it. It is a puzzle piece that, if left out, would make my story incomplete and meaningless.

Yet even as I write this I cannot, will not share it with you all. I am sorry. I just can’t. This is why I am reluctant to write in my blog now, for what do I write now if I cannot write about all of mySelf and my experiences? Anything I write would be totally lacking and incomplete.

The whole purpose of this blog is to help others on the same journey; to assist them by sharing with them my own journey so they know they are not alone and maybe get some comfort from that. Yet, at this point, I feel unable to share fully my own journey. There is just so much tied up in it that I can’t make sense of and I worry about the potential far-reaching effects.

What I Will Share

I will share with you what I have been going through the last few days, but because of the personal nature and backstory that I don’t feel can be shared, it may leave you with many questions. I know it leaves me with questions and I know the whole story!

On the morning of the 21st I lost my heart connection. Actually, I felt to have lost all connection. There came with this loss a feeling of dread, like something was there that I didn’t want to look at or confront but had to. I avoided it but it threw me into disarray for the rest of the day.

That evening I blew up on my husband for no reason. It shocked him enough to keep the kids away and let me be. I retreated to a hot bath and cried and cried and cried. It was like my entire soul was just pouring out through my eyes. Afterward I was so completely exhausted that I went to bed at 8pm.

I had dreams of going through levels of rainbows of color. There were five levels and each one poured over me. I don’t recall much else but I feel I received intense healing and adjustment. When I woke at 3am I was beside myself with grief again. I must have relaxed at some point because I was awakened by a huge amount of energy moving up from my legs and enveloping me in a warm energy hug that made me want to fall asleep. I heard, “We are with you” right before I fell back to sleep.

I ended up having an in-depth OBE for the next two to three hours. At the end of the OBE I forgot who I was and it sent me into a panic trying to figure it out. This is what ultimately woke me.

When I awoke I still felt horrible. The main feeling I could contact was that I had gotten a chance to experience Home and it had been pulled out from under me. Why would I get such a wonderful experience only to have it taken from me? Why would I do that to myself? What was I thinking!?

I spent the entire day on and off crying. The next day was the same except that I was outside in the sun every chance I could get. I would go from a calm, quiet to an overflowing of emotion and then back again. It was exhausting and not normal for me. I have never felt such intense grief in my life.

At one point while laying in the sun, my guide said to me:

“I understand your sorrow, I understand your pain….”

I knew the rest of it for it was a song I had written in 2002 called Beauty in the Dark. I finished the verse of the song in my head and burst out crying again.

I understand your sorrow, I understand your pain.

I want to see you smile, I want to hold your hand.

And although this place is colder and darker than where we’ve been,

I’ll take you somewhere warmer, be your light in the dark.

This morning I am better but just writing this makes me want to cry all over again. I am emotionally raw. Every emotion is so much more intense than I remember it to be and I cannot seem to contain the emotion. It just pours out of me. And I am missing my connection so very badly. I hear my guides and Team, I sense them and I still get their energy hugs but I feel more alone than I have ever felt in my life. I feel like I just got here and the place I came from is so very close yet so far away at the same time.

Time to Live

This morning I knew that it was time to sort things out in my life. I don’t want to. I dread it but at the same time I could not stop myself from thinking of the things that need to be done. That is what my focus is on right now, though I am not happy about it.

I woke with this song in my head:

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Surprise! You are Love

I just unexpectedly got a taste of what living from the heart means on a very personal level. I am sitting here flooded with energy yet again. Literally shaking. This time it was from an interaction with my own husband. Talk about surprise. Ha!

I don’t often share personal things on this blog. My old one was different – almost too personal. I swore I would not go there in this one, but it seems that is the direction I am being taken.

I have been, for a while, distancing from my husband. Why, I am not sure. Perhaps I am afraid of something or worried I will get too caught up to ever get out. Whatever the reason, our intimacy is practically nil. This also happened in my last marriage. I assumed I was a jinx. Maybe I am not capable?

Tonight I realized that I have never really made love. Never. I know, sad, right? But what I mean is that I never allowed myself to connect through my heart in intimate situations. I am told I was too blocked, so it was not possible. I am told this is the case with the majority of people on Earth. We have learned that sex is via the sexual organs. That’s it. What a crock of shit.

I discovered quite by accident what intimacy really is, can be. It scared me and my solar plexus knotted up horribly. Oh well. I learned what I needed to learn. I am capable of so much more than I realize. The love I am is all-encompassing. I thought I had no love for my husband anymore, yet there it was, blazing out of my chest! Where did that come from? 🙂

I can’t get the energy to settle now. It is similar to when I use to give mediumship readings. Like Spirit is knock, knock, knocking. I feel a sort of sadness despite learning such a marvelous lesson. I don’t understand it.

We are Source. We just forgot. I am Remembering and it is blowing my mind. Or should I say it is blowing my heart mind. 😉

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Holy Spirit – Heart Bliss

Today I went to visit my mom, step-father, sister and nephew. I usually go once a week but since the Christmas holidays I have not gone in two weeks. I missed it!

An interesting thing happened that I wanted to share with you all. My Mom, who has been a member of the Church of Christ all her life, came up to me and said, “I want to tell you something that you may think is creepy.” I said, “I don’t know if I want to know now.” She continued anyway.

She told me about her morning routine. She said, “Every morning when I wake up I come in here and do some gentle yoga stretches. Then I sit quietly for a while and ask for the Holy Spirit to come into me.” She showed how she stands facing the window and puts both her arms into the air to accept the Holy Spirit.

“Well, it does and it feels amazing! The first time it happened I started crying and it stopped. I find if I cry it always stops. But I was told by a woman at church to not resist it so I began to just ask for it to come into me. And it comes every time I ask”.

I congratulated her on her experience and she went on. “I have to tell you, though, it feels really, really good. Like orgasmic.” She giggled here and was a bit ashamed. I said to her, “Yes, but not sexual.” And she said, “Right” and nodded. I asked her, “Does it come in through here (I touched her back at her heart space) and then spread out all across your body?” She nodded, “Yes!” I asked her, “Does it make you just want to melt into the chair?” She said, “Yes, every time”. I told her, “I have felt that for a long time. I call it heart bliss”. She said, “Well I call it the Holy Spirit”. I said, “Same thing to me.”

My mom was so relieved after this that she began to talk to me about her bible studies and the book of Genesis. She told me she doesn’t like reading Genesis. She said, “It just doesn’t make sense to me. There has to be a whole lot of the story missing. For example, when Cain goes to the land of Nod to get married, how could he do that if Adam and Eve were the first and only people? Yet there is obviously a whole other group of people in the land of Nod. I think there had to have been at least five or six Adam and Eve’s.”

I laughed and said, “You should watch Ancient Aliens.” She gave me a questioning look so I went on. “Some people think that the first humans were brought here from outer space – seeded. Some people think that God did the same on many other planets”.

She didn’t even go there. LOL Instead she went on to how she was reading the book of John at the same time as she was reading Genesis so she was reading one book from each testament. I just laugh at how my mom handles information she is not ready for. She didn’t even skip a beat! LOL

I love my mom and I so very pleased to hear that she is experiencing the heart bliss. She is a total believer of the bible and experiencing the very same heart energy that I and many others have experienced and are still experiencing right now. It just goes to show that no matter your belief system the changes happening on Earth are affecting everyone regardless of their beliefs.

My mom is truly blown away by what she is experiencing. For her, something as wonderful as the heart bliss (Holy Spirit) is a life-changing event. I can’t wait to see if it expands into something more and I know if it does I will be one of the first to know.

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Cosmic Alert

If you haven’t already noticed, the energies are quite stagnant compared to the fluidity that was present on the 1st. I have been sick with a cold and have read of a few others experiencing similar physical adjustments. Remember, we just went through a gauntlet of intense upgrades, the energetic equivalent of several lives worth of spiritual advancement power packed into a few weeks (for some, a bit longer). The reprieve we are experiencing is necessary but it is only a break. More is coming on an individual basis. So rest up, drink lots of water, and take it easy. It looks like today could be intense for some. Thankfully, Scorpio doesn’t have much influence on my chart.

The following is from a friend of mine. Thank you Eric. ❤

☆ COSMIC ALERT ☆

by Eric Starwalker

We’ve got a truly INTENSE and powerfully transformative week ahead! The most intense day is Sunday with Mars entering Scorpio @ 6:33AM PST and dramatically beginning to intensify as Luna then also enters Scorpio @ 11:15AM PST quickly conjuncting Mars @ 1:12PM. This is occurring as mercury is slowing to a crawl about to turn retrograde on Tuesday. Tuesday is a power packed day with mercury station ingredients exactly squaring Mars – Venus squaring Neptune and the Sun conjunction Pluto that evening. Tuesday promises to be a signature day culminating 3 days of intense transformation beginning to release into wide-open spaces as Luna launches into Sagittarius @ 10:56PM PST late that evening.

One of the greatest gifts and blessings of astro medicine is knowing that it’s all a part of a larger cycle with each phase offering an opportunity for growth and personal empowerment. Once a month with the Moon in Scorpio we get to check in with deep and powerful emotions buried beneath the surface that need to be heard now for clarification. Listening to our fears in a medicine way is the gateway to the liberation that follows as Luna then launches into the clear blue sky of Sagittarius. As always with Scorpio stay conscious and be careful not be caught up in the shadow dancing. The 1st day is usually the most powerful and cathartic.

On Thursday the Sun squares Uranus as the Jupiter stations retrograde and Friday Mercury retrogrades back into Capricorn remaining in Capricorn until 2/13. Mercury stationing @ 0 Aquarius gives us a peek at modes of heightened communication and awareness that will activate more fully from mid February onward. In the meantime we will be reviewing our interface with the status quo strengthening our relationship with what is so that we may be effective in building a bridge to the breaking wave of the future. And finally we have a new Moon on @ 5:30 PM PST @ 19Cap13 on Saturday. Watch for signature events all week that will give us our homework for the next 3 weeks until Mercury stations direct on 1/25.

Wow what a week ahead. As always remember that we’re ALL in this together and that you are never truly alone! May the power of LOVE be your guide. ☆

 

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Dream: Two is Better Than One

I’ve been struggling with the shifting energy and my own energy lately. I seem to fluctuate between very high high’s and zombie-dead lows. It is like I have this immense amount of energy pouring through me during the highs. But during the lows I feel exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically.

With these fluctuations comes solar plexus and sacral plexus discomfort. For three days now I am hit mid-afternoon with discomfort. It is not horrible or anything but makes me think I have an intestinal flu. Sometimes I feel like I have been punched in the stomach. This is the solar plexus pain. The sacral plexus pain feels akin to menstrual cramps except at the wrong time of the month.

I am also struggling to sleep and when I do sleep I don’t feel rested. Even so, I wake up extremely alert and with high energy.

Through all this is the continual heart chakra fire that ebbs and flows.

Today, Christmas, has been the most energetically draining day I have had in a very long time. I think the full moon, the current energies and the intense experience I am having combined to create a very unique circumstance for me. I am completely drained.

I am ashamed to say that I am seeking out alcohol more this week than I have in a long time. I am not a drinker. I hate getting drunk. Hate beer. Hate hard liquor even more. But three times now this week I have had a drink….or two. It doesn’t help, I know. There is a little voice saying, “Be a good girl. This will only slow the process”. I roll my eyes and say something not so nice in return and pour myself a drink.

And please all pretend you don’t hear this – the cigarettes keep coming out, too.

I totally don’t give a rat’s a$$ at the moment so when I get my head on straight later you can all remind me of how stupid I was being. K?

Anyway, I was getting to a dream wasn’t I? (No I’ve not had a drink today)

Dream: Two is Better Than One

I was in a church with unfamiliar people who I associated with as “family”. I don’t remember what they looked like. At the time in the dream I was trying to get away; escape them and this suffocating feeling that came with being around them. I found the bathroom and saw two little girls were already in it. They were twins I think but I mostly focused on the one girl. I saw that the toilet was really low, like for a child. I said something to the effect of, “I hope I can get up from such a low seat”.

I turned to the door to check that it was locked and tried to turn off the light. It was a strange knob instead of a switch and when I turned it a loud grumbling ensued. I jumped from the sound and quickly switched it back off. I saw then that I had turned on the heater and I felt a rush of very hot air hit me. I didn’t want the heat on.

Then I turned back to the toilet and sat down but I didn’t use it. The one little girl came up next to me and pulled down two toilet seats from the wall. It was like they had been hidden there. She sat on one and pointed to the toilet seat that was touching the one she was sitting on. I was confused. Why would anyone want to use the toilet that close to another person? I questioned her on this. She said to me, “We do everything together. Two is better than one”. I remember thinking that using the bathroom was a private thing and being very uncomfortable with the thought of sharing it with anyone. Yet I felt comfortable with the little girl as she sat right next to me.

Interpretation

I suspect this dream is about healing. In fact, I know it is. Toilets and bathrooms are all about cleansing and emotion. You can tell a lot from the state of the toilets and bathrooms in your dreams. If clean, this is a good sign as your emotions are not muddled. The dirtier the more muddled or confused. Toilets themselves are about releasing emotions and things in your life that are no longer useful. Flush away the old to make way for the new.

I find the part where I accidentally turned on the heat the most interesting. It not only scared me but I promptly turned it off and didn’t want it on. Heaters in a dream can signify that one is opening themselves up to loving and being loved. Heat equals emotion or the flow of feeling. In some cases this feeling can also be desire.

Finally there is the message and the fact that there are twin girls in the bathroom when I go inside. I understood the message to mean whatever this healing journey is that I am on, I am not suppose to go through it alone. Two is better than one this time.

Silver Lining

I wanted to end with something funny since my sense of humor has been off the charts since all the heart fire began. I just break out into giggles for no reason and even when feeling drained like now I find my humor is high. Thank goodness for silver linings.

Oh and I got a turtle pendant for Christmas from my husband. Just makes this more funny now. 🙂

comic

 

 

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Upgrade Underway

There is an upgrade underway. This is how I have been experiencing it. How about you? What have you been experiencing this week leading up to today, 12/12/2015?

Memory-Loss

These past few days have been filled with information seeming to constantly stream into my consciousness. I get the information, acknowledge it, think to myself, “I need to write this down” and then promptly forget all about it. It becomes completely gone from my mind. Wiped out.

Then out of the blue it returns. It is like it is simply placed back into my mind and appears as if it never left. And I’m like, “Wait a minute. When did that happen? Where did that come from? How could I have forgotten that?”

Headache

I also have a headache. I am on day two of it. Sometimes it is my entire head, other times just right in the center of my forehead. It got so bad last night I almost took an Ibuprofen but as soon as I thought of it, the pain lessened.

I can’t help but think the two are related. Memory loss + headache = upgrade in effect. At least that is my suspicion.

Grumpy

I have also become Grumpy Mommy again. Not all the time but enough that I am embarrassed by myself. For some reason lately when my kids all talk at once very loudly (which is most of the time) I can’t take it and snap. I usually just yell or tell them to get away from me. But it is not nice and I always feel bad afterward. Then again loud noises in general have been making me grumpy lately it is just that my kids happen to be the main source of that in this house.

Ego Fits

And my Ego is coming out of hiding again as well. I suspect this is part of the current upgrade – push, pushing, pushing me to see certain patterns that need to be let go. I got upset over something I read by a friend of mine and began thinking of saying something back to show them how wrong they were. But then I got to thinking (with the help of my Companion of course) that it was not me but my Ego self which was upset. I could have it just as it was and so let it go. This has been less and less common for me but for some reason I just didn’t want to let it go. I am glad I finally did.

Emotional Releases

There have also been strange emotional releases hitting me out of the blue. Two nights in a row I have woken up crying. Then, last night I read someone’s account of losing their beloved pet. I burst into tears over the loss of mine in 2012. Ugh! I thought I had gotten past that! Guess not. Thankfully it was short lived because my youngest got very concerned and the love and concern in his eyes made me laugh at how silly I was being. I snuggled him close and was reminded by my Companion that We wanted to know the love of a pet because it was so strange to Us how humans get attached to pets. I hate it when he reminds me of that.

Restless Sleep

And then there is the restless sleep. I am simply not tired when I head to bed. I end up wide awake for a few hours before I fall asleep and then I wake up way too early. In the midst of sleep I have crazy, vivid dreams, and end up waking up in tears or just pondering what the heck the dreams mean. I don’t feel rested when I wake up yet I can’t go back to sleep and usually my Companion is urging me to get up, reminding me that I have children I love and life to live. I am not a morning person so to have my Companion nudging me to get up is very annoying. I think he is a morning person and wanting me to become one! lol At least he is not all happy-go-lucky like a cheerleader. I think I would throw up if he were.

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Anchoring the Grid

I was awakened at 4:30 am both by my Team and by my youngest who is teething. I attempted to return to sleep but found my mind inundated with information. I pleaded with my Team to shut it off – I wanted to sleep! Yet it continued even after I reinforced my “shielding”.

Eventually I felt I needed to just tune-in, so I settled on my back and focused on my heart space.

Preparation

I soon found myself in-between and in a lucid to semi-lucid state. I was meeting up with several members of a large-extended “family”. I recognized all of them but was there specifically to meet up with four individuals.

What we discussed is mostly lost to me now, but I do recall we were “preparing” for a birthday celebration. I remember seeing a dark haired woman who had long, wavy hair that reached her waist. She wore dark colored lipstick and was very familiar to me. There were two other women as well who were also familiar. One had brown hair and the other had lighter hair than mine (blonde). All were wearing dark dresses that reminded me of a coven of witches or a pagan ritual-type of scene.

There was a young man also with us who I looked upon as my little brother. He was tagging along as an observer as he was not quite ready to take part in our “ritual”. I remember being very fond of him, almost coddling him.

I was pulled from this meeting occasionally to consult and contemplate. In these times I would gain more lucidity. Each time I would see a scene as if looking out a window. It was always a beautiful scene of Fall with trees of varying colored leaves and rolling hillsides. I kept wanting to see the Rocky Mountains but it wasn’t the Rockies. I believe it was the Appalachian Mountains or at least the rolling hills near them.

When in these more lucid moments I would become aware of an energy seeming to flow both up and down my body in waves. It was a comfortable energy. It felt natural and pleasant.

OBE: Cut Short

In one of these periods where I could feel the energy, I knew I could exit my body and so in one fluid motion rolled out and immediately flew upward. I could not see well and immediately asked for more energy. I could see the outline of my home, the staircase to my left. I moved toward the front door and saw a barrier of energy in front of me. It appeared dark like everything else, but I recognized it as an entity (not a bad one). I instinctively knew the energy was there to stop me. I pushed past it (not through it ) and kept moving toward the door. I again asked for more energy but felt instead that I should not be OOB. I protested this and tried to force my own agenda. With a big rush, I was pulled back into my body and found myself back in my bed. The energy was still pulsing up and down my body and I returned to the in-between.

I was immediately reminded, “You cannot leave your body right now”. I requested more information. I got exactly that.

Anchoring the Grid and “Flash” Consciousness

I remembered what I had been doing when in the in-between. The people I was meeting were people I know from the internet but have never met in real life. I got their names – LightLover, Angel and Elizabeth. The young man I did not receive a name for.

I saw that we were working with the energy of the Earth. Specifically the new energy grid hat has been established to elevate the consciousness of Earth. I was told, “Holding” as an explanation of what we were doing with this energy. I saw that the energy (blue-green in color) was coming into each of us and we were essentially keeping it anchored and allowing the energy to expand outward.

I saw the energy grid and recognized we were the grid! This grid is being anchored and the energy held by individuals all over the planet. We are doing this work on a multidimensional level (subconscious for the most part). Yet I was being allowed to glimpse my part in it at this time.

I wondered to what purpose we were doing this and it was explained that we chose to hold the energy for those who could not. We integrate and transmute the energy for those who are currently unable to. This energy grid is the new template, the new Earth template, and one in which we will eventually move into permanently.

I was told this is “Phase 2” and that there are four phases. I did not request more information other than to ask what Phase 1 was. I only received information about the loss of animal species (extinction).

Finally, I heard that this event was a “Flash Consciousness” event. Similar to a “Flash Mob” but purposeful. Individuals are invited to these events to help push/shift consciousness up to a higher level. Apparently this morning at around 4:30am CST there was one of these events occurring not just here but in other locations all over the globe.

Science Commander

As I absorbed this information, I could feel the energy pulsing through my body and was aware of the light that was the Source of this energy. I relaxed into the feeling, enjoying the energy going up, down, up, down, up, down – root to crown, crown to root.

Then the young man from my previous in-between experience approached me and called me, “Commander”. I responded, “Yes?” and this brought me into a more conscious awareness. I wondered, “Me? Commander?” I heard, “Yes, Science Commander”.

I thought, “Science? What does that have to do with this? Why Science?” And I remembered my dream from the night before where I signed a contract to be a “Science Teacher”.

I received information then of the “scientific” aspect of this work I am doing. It is indeed a science, one that is on a whole other level than what we are familiar with here on Earth. I saw the grid, I saw the anchors all over the world (people anchors). I saw the “vessels” located at different strategic points in space above the Earth. These were rendezvous points where we “holders” go to “check-in” and receive information about the current state of Earth’s energies.

What is strange is that most of this information is not accessible to me now. It is there in a sort of visual but not in the scientific terminology it was when I received it. Yet I completely comprehend it and feel comfortable with it.

I was, last night, in the area of the Blue Ridge portion of the Appalachian Mountains of the U.S. Specifically I was around southern Tennessee, helping  to establish the anchors in that area. I was told I had been doing this work on the night of the 5th as well and that the next date is the 11th.

Not all the anchors are maintaining a holding pattern right now. This means some are unable to “hold” the energy for very long and so others must come in and take over. Eventually, the holders will remain 100% of the time and this exchange will be unnecessary. Until then, people like me make  “rounds” to help assist with the exchange as we already are able to hold (anchor) the energy all the time.

It is all very beautiful to behold. I wish I could show it to you.