Tag Archives: energy

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Heart Chakra Intensity and Swoosh!

I’ve had some energetic activity today which has been interesting. It began this afternoon on the way home from the gym at around 11:20am. I was singing a song and it vibrated intensely inside my chest, specifically right about my heart chakra. I was fascinated with this feeling. Had I felt it before when singing? If so, why was it so obvious now? I sang different pitches to test the sensitivity. The deeper notes felt the best. The vibrations felt lovely, too. Is this why I have always loved singing so much?

Around 1pm while at the park with my children I became very calm and peaceful. I kept noticing nature and feeling I should enjoy it. So I did. What was interesting is that my attention kept being drawn to individual leaves as they fell down towards the earth. I noted how different each of them was in the way they fell – their shape and movement. Some fell quickly in a mad dash for the ground. Others flitted and seemed to change their mind, flying upward toward the sky before finally settling to the ground. Again, I was fascinated by their dance. I could almost hear the Nutcracker playing in the background. hehe

Around this time I began to feel third-eye and heart chakra activity. We went for a walk like we always do after a visit to the playground. While walking my chest began to feel odd. There was a pulling energy in the same area where I had felt the vibrations previously, but this almost hurt. It did not last long, thankfully.

While going about the rest of my day I have felt as if I was being “watched” by a very large energy and had intermittent crown chakra sensations. I could not enjoy them because my children kept interrupting, so I don’t know much more than the feeling that accompanied them. It was a familiar feeling, one that in the past would have made me nervous. But this time there was no nervousness, just acceptance.

I decided to do yoga for the hips, back and legs. This is night three this week of yoga for me. I keep feeling drawn to do it, so I have been. This particular video was new and quite challenging for me since those areas are very stiff. I was completely immersed in the stretches and then when in savasana things changed.

The voice on the video requested I focus on the upper area of my heart (this was unexpected). So I did but when I did I felt uneasy, almost faint, and so would shift my focus to my third-eye and then redirect. The feeling kept returning along with a very strong presence to my left. It was really, really close and really, really BIG. I kept thinking, “I am going to pass out” but kept doing what the man was telling me to do. Focus on the upper heart area. Relax. Try not to think. Etc. The entire time this area of my heart felt very weird and caused me to feel as if I would pass out.

As the video was ending I was so deeply relaxed that I began to feel like I was sinking into the floor. I kept hearing noises that I think were on the video but I’m not sure. It just felt so wonderful.

All along there remained the huge presence to my left.

The next thing I know my body is being pounded by wave after wave of energy. Swoosh! Swoosh! Swoosh!

I knew I had entered the trance state and my mind was alerted instantly causing my heart to speed up a bit. But the energy kept pouring over me. It was an all-over intense energy, that came in waves that swept over me each more intense than the last. It was not the energy blanket like I would normally feel in this state. It was superb!

Sadly, my middle son came into the room and asked me why I was sleeping on the floor. Energy slowed but I continued to feel as if I had become one with the floor. Wonderful!

I don’t think I would have gone OOB but I felt like if I had passed out I would have left my body. What was so strange is that I felt drugged, as if I were being lulled into this state. Perhaps that was what the BIG presence was doing?

I am also fascinated by the upper chakra activity from today. First the vibrations from singing, then the strange ache and finally it causing me to feel faint. Weird! I am intrigued!

The BIG presence is Them. You know who, etc, etc. They’re baaaackk. lol

 

 

 

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Sick and Feeling Sick

I have had this cold far too long. Part of me feels it will never go away. I cough so much in the morning that my stomach hurts and I get a headache. I am fine during the day at least.

Unfortunately, the illness seems to have taken with it all my spiritual bliss and energy sensations. My third eye which had been blazing with energy for weeks suddenly stopped blazing. I am lucky if I get even a smidgen of energy there. Similarly, I have not felt any activity in any of my other chakras either.

This cold has me thinking it will turn into full blown pneumonia. I keep thinking that all my requests to go Home are going to come about with me dying a miserable, suffocating death by pneumonia.

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

My connection with my Team has diminished significantly as well. I won’t say they are gone but it feels as if they are farther away. When I hear my guide his energy is more muted and I struggle to believe I am even talking to him, convincing myself that it is my Ego making it up so that I don’t feel alone.

Thankfully I do still get occasional warm rushes of energy from my guide. This alleviates my paranoia somewhat.

It is funny how when this perceived distance exists between myself and my Team that I get sad and begin to beg for the connection to return. It is like the old saying, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”. I feel desperate to have back what it seems I have lost. I know, however, that it is merely a perception mistake on my part. The “distance” I feel is merely a loss of equilibrium within me.

No Rest for the Weary

The worst part of being sick and feeling disconnected is that my entire family is still stuck in before-daylight-savings-mode. It is slowly getting better, but I am still being awakened far too early for my liking. My middle son is the worst. He is waking at 5am and falling asleep at 7:30pm. I have tried to get him to go to bed later, but he just won’t. The other two are going to bed later but when my middle son wakes up, he wakes the other two up, too. He also wakes up my husband. So the entire house is up while I put a pillow over my head desperate for some sleep. Plus, when I wake up, I am overcome by coughing so much that I end up just getting out of bed because the coughing won’t let me rest. Ugh!

I am told by my guide that I must rest and recuperate. So I try but with a busy family it is just dang hard. I stay home with my two youngest all day and even though they are sick, too, they seem full of energy and hell-bent on wreaking havoc on my household. I just can’t keep up.

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Visit with Mom: The Path is Clearer

My kids woke early and were restless. It was a beautiful day so I decided to all my mom and see if she would like us to visit. She was happy for a chance to see us all, so off we went.

On the 40 minute drive there I was feeling a shifty energy that came as soon as I relaxed. I also felt out of it, as if I would accidentally run into something or forget something. Thankfully none of that happened. The drive was mostly uneventful despite occasionally feeling I would go OOB and major third eye chakra activity.

When we reached my mom’s house the energy felt soothing and calm. My brother was there and we all just had a very nice visit talking of things that had happened or were soon to happen and just catching up. While talking with my mom about the visit, she mentioned how nice it was to have us come and I suggested we visit like this at least once a week now that I don’t have to go to a job. She liked the idea. I think we will meet next week to visit the aquarium and maybe do some other things together like go to the zoo. My middle son and my mom have a strong connection (I honestly think he is my dad reincarnated which would explain this strong bond). He just kept snuggling up to his Nana and staying close to her.

On the way home from our short visit I knew why the suggestion to visit more often felt right. I recognized that if I were to leave on a long journey to never return to visit those I loved that I would spend as much time with them as I could before I left. It made complete sense then to see my mom more often.

The Path is Clearer

While driving home I had again that strange feeling that I was going to go OOB while driving. I remember one stretch of road appeared like a stretch of road I use to drive frequently in Montana. For a short bit I could even see the mountains to my right and the large body of water to my left. This created a feeling of being in two places at once which then led to me feeling I would leave my body. Yet I was not afraid. I was calm and felt happy, like I had done so much more than I have given myself credit for. I also felt the huge difference between the me from that time in my life to the me now. I saw how back then I was adrift, lost in a sea of energy that was unlike my own. It was like I was floating in a scattered energy. I could see the particles scattered in many directions, like an explosion or starburst. I then saw myself being drawn to more and more people with similar energy to my own and the particles of energy condensed and became more organized and streamlined. I could see this dazzling array of energy, all the colors of it from green to purple to blue and yellow. My path followed the gold particles of energy and now all that remains is gold and white. My path is much more distinct now.

I felt like I had finally found the “somewhere I belong” that I wrote about in a song I wrote in 2001. It just amazes me how life works out.

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More Manifestations of the Shift

I figured it is time for a quick update on current manifestations of ascension. Below are what I have noticed:

  • Hot Flashes
  • Sweating
  • Mild Cold – sore throat, chest congestion
  • Third-eye activity – pretty much non-stop
  • Crown chakra activity – on and off, usually in conjunction with third-eye
  • Second chakra buzzing
  • Intense heavy feeling in legs/feet (stopped prior to onset of cold)
  • Visual anomalies – seeing shadows or silhouettes of people out of corner of my eye
  • Dry eyes (stopped after onset of cold)
  • Dizzy spells
  • Intense hunger (ongoing)
  • Intense thirst
  • Ear ringing
  • Pressure in ears
  • Ear ache that comes and goes (infrequent)
  • Heart chakra activity
  • Recognition of pieces/aspects of me returning to this body
  • Sudden surges of energy (usually in the in-between)
  • Time hiccups – lost time, time moving fast or very slow
  • Disconnect with this life; feeling alien to this world
  • Intense emotional outbursts and sadness as if losing someone dear to me
  • Periods of irritability and not wanting to be around or near others’ energy

I’ve been sick with a cold. It came on a couple of days ago along with some hot flash-type activity and an intense hunger. I am told this is because I am cleansing and re-balancing my energy. I was told the cold is a result of the imbalance of energy caused primarily from the ingestion of meat over a period of about a week. Part of me thinks this is “crazy” but I cannot ignore the fact that all the feelings of negativity and disconnect came during this period of time.

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Message: Starseed Activation Commences

After the strange, very vivid dream of seeing a UFO, I awoke suddenly feeling the presence of a guide. I was immediately flooded with memories. When/where these memories came from I don’t know, but they were real and came at me like flashes. With each memory was a millisecond of full-knowingness that vanished as soon as my conscious mind began to inspect it.

Memories

A complete scene came to me very quickly. In it, I was with someone else who I could not see. We were ascending a golden pyramid-like structure. Or maybe it wasn’t actual gold in color, but the light was. The top of the pyramid was missing and this was where we were going.

There was a ball of golden light. When I saw it I had another flash of holding a ball of pulsating energy in my hand. This energy came from me and I was concentrating it into a ball and holding it, controlling it, utilizing it.

Messages

When these memories faded, I was left feeling very strange. The presence of a guide was hard to ignore. It is funny how they get my attention. It is like they become part of my consciousness; like they are me. Yet prior to this I do not have this same sense. It just suddenly IS.

I acknowledged him and as soon as I did he said, “You have been hiding”.

I didn’t understand. Hiding from what? What does it mean?

The message came as both visuals and thoughts. I saw a little girl kneeling down and watching from a hiding place. I heard, “Your fear holds you back”. I then felt a strange sensation in my throat, similar to the one I had in my dream. It felt like energy was stuck there. Fear was stuck there.

I could not stop the memories of my dreams from taking over my thoughts. I was reminded to control my thoughts – they interrupt communication. I settled in my heart space.

When I did this, I was told that the Starseed activation was commencing – the activation I was told about many months ago. This sparked the memory of the code I was given. I could even see the numbers.

Then I heard again, “You have been hiding”. I asked from what and was told I was hiding from my true Self; that I have been caught up in life of the physical form I have taken.

I did feel the resistance then. I have been struggling with the idea of Starseeds and other worldly Beings despite the experiences and memories I have had. It is strange to me and there is a part of me that thinks it is too good to be true while another part is completely distrustful of all of it. I convince myself that I am creating all of this; that it is all in my mind. This makes me feel “safe”. Yet the messages and experiences continue.

dark8

From the movie The Dark Crystal.

I managed to fall into the in-between at this time but was shaken awake by a vivid image of the guide I was communicating with. I saw a very pale face with an oblong head. What scared me, though, was that I saw more than just the head. I saw the body and it was very thin and spindly, very out of proportion to the head. The arms especially were thin and there were long, bony fingers. It reminds me of the movie The Dark Crystal and the UrSkeks – the mixed race at the end. I also thought of an insect when I saw the thin arms and hands, yet he did not look like one.

When I came to full awareness I asked if I was seeing him, my guide. He answered yes and I received a name – E’Fonin (Ee-Fawn-In). The name is longer but that is the part I could understand. I asked if this was his name and he said, “We do not use names here. We recognize one another by feel”. I received information then about energy signatures, which is the only way I can describe it. It is like an energy thumbprint we all have. Like our aura, but not. The aura is more body-related. There is a different “aura” when we are not in a physical body.

I asked where he was from. I immediately thought Sirius, but this was incorrect. I was shown our moon and directed beyond its current position in our sky. This did not help me, though, since I am unfamiliar with the stars and locations of constellations. I believe it is beyond Ursa Major.

Video Blog

I wish I could remember everything I was told, but unfortunately I cannot. This is common when I receive communication in the early morning hours.

One thing I do remember was that I heard that it is time now for me to explore creating a vlog. This comes at a time when I am doing videos for my product with my daughter and exploring YouTube.

In the past I avoided videos because of my work. But now I do not work. I stay at home with my kids. So my main worry about putting up public videos is no longer present.

I wondered what I would talk about. I was told that I would not know what information would come through, but that it would. I also was told that I would know when to do it. I then wondered why I had not attempted to video myself back in May when all the amazing energy and channeling occurred? I suspect it is just this type of energy that will prompt a video to be made.

So what do you think? It is time to record videos?

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New Awareness – Embracing Multiple Me’s

Last night I once again did the pyramid visualization meditation before bed. This time, however, the pyramid began to spin very quickly to the right. I did not intend this, just saw it happening. It then slowed and I began to drift into the in-between.

New Awareness

I don’t know what I did in the in-between. It is like I have amnesia. I recall pictures and conversations occurring, similar to a light dream state, but that is all. What I do remember is suddenly opening my eyes and coming back to full awareness. When I did this I felt energy come in from both my left and my right. What is crazy about this is that I recognized the energy as me. In fact, I recognized it as distinct pieces of me coming in from somewhere outside of me.

At first I was nervous about it because the energy was so intense. When it returned to me it felt like it added something to me; like I grew larger because of it, but not in a bad way. The thought crossed my mind that I had just taken on another Spirit; that Spirit was piggybacking on me. Yet there was a calmness that remained with me and those thoughts just dissolved as if they were “nothing of note”.

It was then that I Remembered, or maybe I was told and it seemed like a memory, that I had been practicing in previous nights over the last week or so how to control my energy, or “essence” may be a better word. It is complex and something far above my human comprehension, but it is something my heart understands. In fact, when I Remembered these “sessions” I felt assured that whatever I just experienced was not to be feared but to be embraced. I was re-learning an important skill that had been lost.

The feeling of being “broken up” and then reconstituted was the beginning stages of these lessons. Now instead of feeling hundreds of pieces I feel only a few. What is most interesting is that in these few I recognized them to all be me. It was like I could transfer into any of them and have a different perspective, similar to the OBE where I met myself and did exactly that.

Visions and Dreams

In my sleep and in-between states after that I received messages, some not so good by the looks of them.

Recruits

In one in-between flash of a vision, I was presented with a long list. The top of the list had the title, “Recruits”. As I read it, I woke fully from my reverie and was a bit startled. I had an instant memory of the messages I had received about there being spiritual soldiers sent to Earth to help. Was this that list of soldiers?

Burning Earth

I awoke from a disturbing semi-lucid dream. I clearly recall being embraced in silken-looking, translucent white wings or petals. They wrapped around me and I called them by a name which I cannot remember now. They were not connected to a person, but appeared to be part of a system of transport into space. In fact, I was floating in space and looking down at Earth. Except Earth was not its normal beautiful green and blue with swirls of white. No. This Earth appeared to be molten lava, a swirling mass of red and black. It was horrifying yet I was not horrified.

Rescue Capsule

I had a detailed dream in which I was a teacher with students. The students had discovered a room and gone into it without permission. I found them and went inside this room. Yet when I went inside, the room was not a room at all but a tall, cone-shaped capsule with stairs that spiraled upward. The student had gone up the stairs and I had to get them down. I explained that this capsule was only for use in emergencies. It was meant to evacuate and not a playground. I was very serious but the students were not.

I remember the capsule very clearly. It was made of a silver metal and there was paneling, some of which contained controls and buttons. I remember when I looked up the stairs that it was not time to go “up”, yet that going up those stairs meant freedom, or at least something better than what was down below.

butterflySo Many Questions

My third-eye continues to blaze, though not all day now. It seems to come on suddenly without warning, and then tones down.

There is also ear ringing that comes on suddenly as well. Last night I had ear ringing and distinctly felt the presence of Spirit to my left. She knelt down and put her hand on my left arm and asked, “Do you see me?” I told her, “No. I’m sorry. I can only feel you”. I did not try to continue the conversation for I was about to meditate and did not want the distraction.

All these strange changes and energy experiences have left me with so many questions. I don’t understand what is happening and I want to know. I ask questions in meditation and then I have the strange visions and dreams. I was told that I needed to be able to transfer 50% of myself into something, what it is I am not sure. I saw it, but forgot most of it as I became startled by it. However, this transfer of Self is why I am practicing the manipulation of my essence (can’t really adequately describe it).

I am surprised I have not convinced myself that I am crazy with all this going on. I am actually fascinated, especially by the experience I had last night of being three me’s all at once. It felt so natural and normal – yet it wasn’t, at least not to this part of me.

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667 Days to Home

Today is my last day of work. I took a half of it off because I have days to burn. I was also hoping to get more sleep. I did, but not as much as I would have liked.

I have mixed feelings about leaving work despite knowing it is the right choice for now. I will miss some of my students and those coworkers whom I developed good working relationships with. One coworker sent me an email thanking me for helping her son and asking for me to let her know if I ever go into private practice. It is her son that I am saddest to leave. He is sad, too. He cried when I told him I was leaving. 😦

It’s wonderful to feel I have made an impact in someone’s life, even if only a small one.

Gaping Hole

I don’t know if it is just me leaving work that is causing this, but I feel a gaping hole in my life. I think it has always been there but now it seems bigger. There is nothing there. It is just empty and the emptiness of it is what bothers me the most. The bigger it gets, the more empty I feel inside.

I have tried to fill it with things – activities, movement, mental tasks – but when all is done it is still there. I go within and find it there and it is not scary but I don’t know what to do with it. Do I fill it? Do I leave it alone? What is it anyway?

My guide told me this morning, “Why don’t you just rest? It is okay to take a break”. Perhaps, but I am such a busy-body, so use to keeping myself and my mind occupied, that taking a break is not all that easy for me.

For example, I awoke at 5am this morning and immediately my mind began to fill with thoughts of things I needed to do. I even got confused on what day it was, thinking it was Friday and then Wednesday and finally getting to the fact that it is Monday. There are so many lists of things I have to do – exit paperwork for work, promoting my new business, resolving a return of a large product I ordered, a parent-teacher conference, and so on and so forth. All these things flooded my mind and I panicked when I accidentally thought it was Friday.

It’s actually kinda funny. 🙂

667 Days

Out of control thoughts, even if they appear productive, can bring a person down really fast. I reacted by begging my guides to help me return to sleep and asking when I would return Home.

Surprisingly, I got an answer the to second question immediately: 667 days. Really?

Of course, I immediately thought there is now way that could be accurate. Why would my guides reveal something like that? Maybe because they know I will forget it. I forget so easily.

667 days is just under 2 years from now. “Home” I believe is not me leaving this physical body via death. I believe it is reestablishing a connection with the part of me that is Home, is always Home. It is a feeling not a destination.

Mind-Heart Connection

It is clear to me that I have established a link between my mind and my heart. It is undeniable to me now. Every night I feel it as I relax and prepare for sleep. My third eye lights up like a beacon and my heart follows. It is like clockwork.

I feel it throughout the day, too, but mostly it is my third-eye that is blazing throughout the day. It is doing so now and any time I check for it, it is there as a reminder that I am always connected. Sometimes it blazes so intensely while I am doing mundane things that I cannot help but stop what I am doing and notice. It is like I am being asked to take notice of the moment. To not get lost in all the “things” I have to do throughout the day.

My crown chakra is also buzzing, but it is less in comparison to the huge pulling sensation in my third-eye. The energy helmet is becoming so familiar to me that it goes unnoticed until the energy in my crown reaches similar proportions to that of my third-eye.

Honestly it feels like my head is a beacon of light.

20%

In one of my intense, third-eye energy moments I got a vision along with a message. It was a timeline, or at least that is how it appeared to me. I could see that most of the line was colored in in green. It reminded me of the download screens one gets when downloading something from the internet. Towards the end of the green line there was written “20%”.

As soon as I saw it I got the message that I only have 20% left to go. I did not feel encouraged. Who knows how long it will take to download that 20%. My connection often gets interrupted. 6 minutes can take an hour.

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Percolation and Transmutation All Over Again

Percolate. Transmute. Rinse. Repeat.

The energy peaks, then subsides. Peaks. Subsides. Peaks. Subsides.

You get the idea.

This is the process that raises one’s vibration. It is slow and intentional. It is the reason we feel so often like we are on a roller coaster. Yet, if you have noticed, the roller coaster feeling has lessened. The intense high’s and low’s are leveling out.

Our cycles are changing as well. Our physical body cycles such as our sleep cycle, dream cycle, circadian rhythm, and biorhythms are changing. This is also true of Mother Earth and can be seen in nature such as shifts in migration patterns, weather cycles, and ocean currents. 

We are also practicing, preparing, for a different shift, one into a higher vibration, a peak vibration, which has yet to arrive. There is talk that we have entered into 5D. In actuality, the shift into 5D is individual and not a “mass event”. What in fact has occurred is that we have reached a point in vibration where we now have access to 5D, when before the highest we could sustain was 4D. Just having access does not, however, mean that we live there nor does it mean we are even capable of sustaining this level of vibration for long periods of time.

I am told very, very few are able to access this vibration at this time and those who do, do so with significant assistance.

What is important here is that 5D is now accessible to the human biological organism via its operating components. In other words, a specific number of those occupying human bodies have recovered ability enough to access this vibration now.

Do not focus on whether you yourself have entered yet into this vibration for that is not the concern nor will it ever be. Focus instead on the progress you have made; the leaps and bounds in spiritual evolution you have made and the ones you will yet to make. This is to be celebrated. 

Many of you have reached a point in your transition where you are attending “class”, for lack of a better descriptive word. Your memory of these events will be limited, though some will have full awareness of their attendance. These classes are initiations that will act as triggers for movement into 5D. In these classes you will practice crossing dimensions and the maintenance of multiple dimensional experience, the results of which will prepare you for the transition into higher states of awareness and Being.  

Your Star brothers and sisters are already celebrating the coming of the Great Age when they (we) will finally be reunited. There is great joy in your hearts, in our hearts, as we come ever closer to this reunion. Enjoy this moment for it is one that has been anticipated for many a millennia.

Note: This post was not intended to be a channel but became such as it was written. I have not edited it to show where I speak and the collective speak. The experience of writing it is curious to me because as it flowed out of me my heart chakra felt to be moving up into my throat and out beyond the limits of my body. I literally felt my energy “rising up” into my third-eye and crown in the moments that the collective came through and my entire body began to vibrate. An amazing feeling!

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Symptoms of Adjustment

I believe the “bone aches” or “body aches” have begun along with some other strange sensations and symptoms.

Throat Movement

Last night when meditating prior to sleep, I felt a new strange sensation. It felt like something was moving around underneath my skin. Like a ball of energy or a knot of something dense. It rolled around and I kept getting images in my mind of a tiny creature trapped under my skin trying to get out. It occurred at the site of my throat chakra and covered the entire area from my collarbone to my chin.

As soon as I noticed it, I got the heebie-jeebies (that’s what I call them). Basically I cringed. I wanted to move but I had a feeling I needed to focus on the feeling and allow it to run its course. I swallowed and felt no change. My body in that small area was literally moving!

Thankfully, it lasted no more than a few minutes. Had it lasted longer that I would have assumed I was dreaming an episode of Fringe. This is by far the most bizarre of all the manifestations yet!

Body Shaking

As the strange throat movement began to subside, I could feel my physical body literally shaking. It was subtle but enough for me to notice. I thought it strange but remembered I had felt it before, though not as intense. The sensation was similar to being in some kind of car that was idling really, really rough.

Ear Ringing

As I was becoming accustomed to the shaking (it really wasn’t scary, just weird), both of my ears began to ring. It was such a high pitch that I almost didn’t notice it except that it felt like there was pressure building in my ears similar to what one feels when going up in an airplane or deep under water. As soon as I noticed it, it diminished considerably. I believe it was because I sent out a thought saying, “Really? Can I go to sleep now?”

Strange Body Ache

As I tried to get comfortable and sleep, I found it near impossible to stay in one place. When I lay on my back, I had this itch to move along with a very uncomfortable feeling in the right side of my body. It was almost like I had restless leg syndrome just in my entire side.

When I lay on either side it was the same. The only time it seemed bearable was when I lay on my stomach.

Ache is not exactly the right word but it works in this instance. The feeling reminded me of trapped energy that made this area of my body feel achy if I didn’t move it. One time when I made myself stay still, the feeling intensified and then seemed to spread out and then diminish. I think this is why I was finally able to sleep.

Time Hiccup

At one point I “awoke” needing to use the restroom. I looked at the clock and it said 10:35pm. “That can’t be”, I thought. I swear it had been hours and hours. Yet I could not recall even falling asleep! In fact, I don’t know where the heck I had been in that hour since I fell asleep. Wait. Did I even fall asleep? I don’t think so. WTF?

There was a strange feeling accompanying this time hiccup. A feeling that I had been somewhere and done something. Amnesia? That is what it felt like. I knew something had happened but I had only blank space where it should have been in my mind.

The only other time this has happened to me was in 1989.

Interrupted Sleep

I awoke so many times last night, I have lost count. Every time I woke up it felt like I had not even slept. Yet the clock showed it had been a couple of hours since my last waking. I again could not remember what I had been doing in that span of time. I knew I had been asleep, though. At least it wasn’t total amnesia!

Memories

Throughout the day yesterday I had random memories surface from this life. Most of them were memories from this lifetimes. Memories associated with pain and upset, all of which I have inspected many, many times. This, I believe, is part of the purging.

  • Memory of when my best friend in high school began acting strangely and disassociating from me. Specifically when she refused to acknowledge me at lunch and sat with a group two levels below us. I sensed she was doing this purposefully and chose to sit alone. This happened for many weeks at the end of Senior year. At the time I was not “hurt” but went to a “safe place” in my mind, convincing myself that I was happy to be alone. Compartmentalization.
  • Memory of my first year in college during registration. My best friend and I had decided to go to the same college. When I saw her there she pretended she didn’t know me and brushed me off.
  • Memory of what it felt like to be married to my ex. It felt alien – like another person was in my body living that life. Yet I could feel what I felt like then. I felt lost and incomplete. So weird!
  • Recognition that I “removed” myself from emotionally intense situations. I did this by denying there was emotion or even a problem.

Little emotion accompanied these memories. Even when I tried to make the emotion come (such as with the first memory), I could not. I asked specifically to be allowed to view the first memory and what led up to it so I could view other viewpoints and see how others perceived me at that time. I have yet to be shown this (that I know of).

Messages

I asked this morning to project and knew that I couldn’t. The reason why was, “You are adjusting”. I asked how long this would take and was told, “One day”. I didn’t believe it.

I kept seeing notes written to me in my in-between states as I was dozing this morning. I also received messages about my progress: 2 of 5 (2/5), 3 of 5 (3/5) and 2 of 10 (2/10). Not sure what these signify.

I asked if the next activation was coming and was told yes. I asked if it would affect me and was told yes. It is to occur in October.

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Solar Plexus Pain

At around 8pm CST last night I began to feel nauseous for no reason. It only happened when I ate a snack and then went away. I didn’t think anything of it. I figured I must have gotten over hungry.

When I attempted to go to sleep I felt a huge knot in my solar plexus. It literally felt like a cramp and I thought I must have gotten the stomach flu. Yet I was not nauseous. I also felt a huge amount of energy around the top of my head and third-eye. When I attempted to communicate with my Team, though, I had no success.

Then the stomach knot got worse and I started to feel ill. It would come and go in waves, never getting very bad. I also felt very thirsty for some reason. I was up quite a bit drinking and then using the bathroom.

At midnight I awoke from a dream in which I was trying to keep a woman from taking my daughter. It was dark and we were in two SUVs. My daughter in one and me in the other. I received a message from the woman that said, “I have come to take her”. I knew she was late. She was suppose to get her on the first of the month and in my mind I saw it was a week later than planned.

I woke up in pain and to a visual behind my eyes of a vibrant green. I then heard, “Vat 50” as part of a longer message. It had something to do with an energy wave coming and affecting a specific group of individuals. I didn’t much care about the message because the knot in my solar plexus was really bothering me. I could lay on my back just fine but if I attempted to lay on my side I would feel the cramping and have slight nausea. If I sat up I also felt fine but I can’t sleep sitting up.

I also smelled a strange smell that was very out of place. It was the smell of cigarette butts. I first smelled it in the bathroom but then it was really intense when I was laying in bed trying to sleep. It eventually went away but it was really odd.

It was 2am or around there before I think I finally fell asleep. When I woke up at 7am I felt fine but had a slight headache. I have been able to eat without incident this morning and have absolutely no sign of what I felt last night.

I am not sure if what I experienced was an actual sickness or if it was caused by a blockage in my solar plexus. When I checked the k-index I saw that during the night there had been very high geomagnetic storms, one hitting a 7 out of 9 on the scale. This is the highest I have seen in a while and I wonder if my illness was a reaction to it, especially since I seem to be having reactions to geomagnetic activity lately.

Whatever the case, I am exhausted this morning and feel like I have been through the wringer.

Link to current solar data.