Tag Archives: healing

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Amen

I have resisted writing any further about my experiences the other day. First off, I have been sick, especially at night and in the morning. I don’t know if it is a virus or allergies or a combination of both but it is making me miserable. My head has been hurting on and off for a few weeks now. It is not unbearable like a migraine, just irritating. So add the headache with the sore, constricted throat and stuffed up nose and you have a very grumpy mamma. Second, I have felt completely brain numb. That is the only way to describe it. I have difficulty processing information that is coming in (subconscious) but I know it is coming or has come in. This results in feeling numb in the mind while also feeling extremely stupid. I feel much like a 9-year-old child who has been sitting in a college Physics classroom. Total overload! Finally, yesterday I suffered some major sadness. It hit me like a wall and all day I kept thinking, “I am sad. I want to cry but I can’t”. I felt empty of emotion but I knew the emotion was there. I even said to my guide, “I need to cry but I can’t”. But I got very little response other than, “It is okay”. Thankfully today, after having the muck of this head cold wear off, I got outside with my children as much as I could and now I am feeling normal. Well, normal except for this darn headache!

If I had written something the last couple of days I am not sure it would have made sense. In fact, I don’t know if what I am about to write will make much sense but if I don’t write something down and get my thoughts out I think I will fall back into that “sad-but-can’t-cry” mood. I really, really don’t like that mood.

Amen

Something that will likely make sense to you all and has finally begun to make sense to me is a message I received via a song yesterday. Actually, it started the night before and followed me all day. The song is the the one I embedded with this post – Take Me to Church by Hozier.

At first I thought the message was that I needed to go to church, but when I searched for a spiritualist church or one similar in my area I got the same off vibes I got when I searched for one years back. Then I saw the name of someone associated with one of the churches and knew it was not a good place for me. From the way the search left me feeling, I knew I would run into people with major ego issues who would treat me suspiciously and try to make me feel unworthy or not good enough. It is not that I cannot handle such people but that I refuse to work with people like that. I choose to find like minded individuals who will not prejudge me or ask me to live up to their expectations of who I am or should be.

It is just today that I thought again about the song and realized that it was not the chorus that I was hearing over and over in my mind. It was the Amen. Over and over. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Being raised a Christian one would think that I would know what the word amen means. But really, I had to look it up. The only thing I knew about it was that it was said at the end of a prayer. In Christ’s name we pray, Amen.

Amen – it is so; so be it.

I listened to the song again. When I heard the Amen section I was overcome with emotion and psychic chills. Energy surged up through my heart and throat chakras.

And with this came an understanding that something profound has happened to me. I am different. And perhaps I do not understand all of what occurred but the feeling, and now the understanding, of Amen fills me with such amazing emotion that I know that a decision has been made, that I have made a decision and it is coming into being.

Headaches

As for the wonderful (not) headaches I have been dealing with, I was warned of them a while back. I thought it would be migraines, and maybe it will come to that (hope not), but so far it has just been a nagging, constant ebb and flow of head pain. The pain is not always in the same area. Sometimes it is at the top of my head, other times on one side. These are not sinus headaches, which I commonly get when I have a cold, though the headache intensity now that I do have a cold is much worse than it was prior and the pain is going behind my eyes more.

I am certain now that these headaches are caused by changes in my energy, specifically related to my third-eye, crown and 8th chakras. I became certain of this in a self-healing session I did with a group last weekend. I came to the class with a headache. When I began to focus on my third-eye chakra not only did my voice break when I was Om’ing but my head began to hurt. Once I stopped focusing on the third-eye my head pain lessened but was still there. That is when the realization hit me: my third-eye was blocked and it was causing me to have headaches. Now that I have been focusing more on self-healing, I sense the same intensifying of headache pain when I work on the crown chakra and extend energy up through the 8th and 9th chakras.

yoga1Yoga and Meditation

The numb mind feeling is still there but less so. I have found that the more I get outside in the sunshine and move around – walk, exercise, jump on the trampoline – the better I feel. It is grounding to me and I need that right now. I also find that the more I focus on my family and my normal daily activities, the less noticeable the headache pain is and the less irritating the mind numbness is. It is only when I am alone that I feel unsettled.That is when I get a feeling that I need to meditate and do yoga. So I do and when I Om I feel……better…..more solid….more stable.

I also swear I can see my energy flow increasing and circulating every time I do yoga. I can see how sluggish it is at the start and how the more yoga I do the more fluid my energy becomes. Part of me wants to chock it all up to my “imagination” but I know that is a lie. Besides, I can feel the change in my energy, too. If I could draw what I see it would be a blue, purple and indigo wave of energy ribbons sparked with white and hot pink. I wish, oh wish, I could see that in one of my OOB visions! Or better, I wish I were artistic enough to paint it.

I actually laughed at myself the other day while Om’ing because it is so unlike me! Yet something about the vibration of it is helping.

I know I will continue to get spiritual nudges to do yoga and meditate, especially before bed. I will continue to listen to them.

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The 8th Chakra

After yesterday’s multiple experiences, I spent most of my day walking around in awe. It wasn’t until the evening that I began to notice an odd feeling rising up within me. I recognized it instantly as trepidation.

I had been questioning my experiences all day, little by little. One of my first questions was about the odd healing exercise I did while meditating. No one had taught me such an exercise and I had not done purposeful self-healing in a very long time. Yet, I felt compelled to move my energy from my root chakra all the way to my crown. I counted as I did this, 1 for the root, 2 for the sacral, 3 for the solar, 4 for the heart, 5 for the throat, 6 for the third-eye, 7 for the crown, and 8…. I never really questioned why I was going to 8 at the time, but all I could think about during the day was, why 8?

The 8th Chakra

I knew very little about the 8th chakra but I did know that there were chakras that extended above the 7th. I didn’t know how many or what they were for, though. Since I could not stop wondering about it, I began to search the internet for the answers.

I found many interesting articles explaining the purpose of the higher chakras, chakras 8-12. When the bottom chakras are aligned and open properly, the next four chakras can open up. These are the spiritual chakras. I had always thought the heart chakra up through the crown were the “spiritual chakras”, but apparently, I was misinformed. These chakras do have a spiritual aspect but they are linked to the physical. The highest chakras are spiritual centers only and have no physical link except where the 8th and 7th chakras link.

The 8th chakras was the chakra I was most interested in since it had been included in my self-healing. This is information I found in an article, Chakras and the Ascension Process:

The 8th chakra is found aligned above the crown chakra and is the conduit of psychic abilities and spiritual information from the higher self to the physical self. This is also the chakra that holds and maintains whatever emotions or goals that were not maintained within the previous incarnations, or our karma. It is important to remember that the universe maintains balance and does not keep cosmic tabs on our behavior. We alone are responsible for those life lessons. The purpose of karma is to allow us to release those pains and trials that left residual spots in our aura that halted our ascensions in the past so that we can learn from them and move foreward. Once the door to the physical world is closed and the one of the spiritual world is opened, the individual, their perception, and their outlook is changed forever. This is the point in your development that you begin to see the world through new eyes. Simple things trigger hours upon hours of deep thought. You begin to see the universe not as a singular thing that is far off but as something dimensional of which you are an integral part.

As I contemplated the information I read about the 8th chakra I began to feel drawn to the 9th, even receiving a mental message from my guide simply saying, “9th”, in response to what chakra I was working on currently.

This is what the article says about the 9th chakra:

Once you are able to view the universe on higher level, the 9th chakra opens and your spiritual blueprint comes into play. Your blueprint is the map that you create prior to your first incarnation that holds every experience an individual may encounter and the many paths those experiences may hold. The choices that you make in physical form activate the paths made on the spiritual realm. The skills, abilities, lessons, wisdoms, and soul type (creator, healer, or teacher) are found in this chakra. Generally when a person realizes the type of soul path they have maintained (based upon how many lifetimes have been spent in each of these paths) the way becomes smoother and the transition is easier. When they fight against it, life becomes more stringent and less wisdom is gleaned from the experience.

Upon researching and reading more about chakras 8-12, I began to truly understand what was happening. I was in the process of “ascending”, or as my guide calls it, “merging”. These chakras are the key to the ascension process. The 7th chakra, when it opens, allows one access to their spiritual abilities but they will not be able to fully control them. However, when the 8th chakra opens, the individual will be able to better control those abilities but they will also have to confront their karmic obligations, purge old emotions and beliefs, and recognize life patterns. As they do this, the 9th chakra begins to open, giving them access to the Akashic records. It is only when the 10th chakra begins to open that the 9th chakra begins to fully flow and manifest.

As one chakra opens, the ones previous will open and expand further. So now that I am opening the 9th chakra, the 8th will further open but so will the previous 7.

If you are interested in chakras 8-12, I found one particularly interesting article about these chakras. I cannot post anything but the link to the article, as the author has strong copy write conditions attached to it. The article is called The Spiritual Chakras 8 to 12. This article is very much designed for the healer’s use, so if you are not familiar with energetic healing, some of it will not make much sense to you. However, as a healer myself, it was fascinating to me.

Overall, from what I have gathered, chakras 8-12 are all very intricately linked. As with all the chakras, these chakras can be paritally opened, blocked and wide open at any point. Most individuals do not even have their 7th chakra open, but those who are now beginning the ascension process will have at least opened the 7th chakra and begun working on the 8th. This is the period of confusion for many and also can put one into a dark night of the soul.

Fear

Interestingly, I have already been at this point in my spiritual development. I have already had communication from my guide like I am having now. I use to have experiences like the one from yesterday frequently. Actually, I had better experiences, more profound and amazing.

I halted it in 2005. I was too overwhelmed by it all and found that I was increasingly withdrawing into the spiritual and abandoning my life. This imbalance wreaked havoc on my life. When I consciously recognized the imbalance I shut down. I literally told my guide to leave my thoughts. I suspended the process for the time being and was able to regain my foothold in the physical.

In 2007 I once again withdrew from the process, shutting it down further. Up until that point, I had just partially withdrawn, I still maintained my abilities and used them frequently. But in 2007, I completely sealed myself off from the 8th chakra and partially closed my 7th. This was the only way for me to feel “normal”, as with each suppression of my spiritual abilities I became more and more the picture of my previous self.

Now that I am opening up again, I am afraid. Afraid I will not be able to maintain balance. Already I am more interested in escaping to the spiritual than I am interested in the physical. I am wary, then, which my guide said is “Good”. He also says of the me back in 2005 – “You were a child”. I was in my 20s! Yet I understand what he means. I have changed, I have grown up and recognize much more about myself, my weaknesses and my fears

I am told I cannot stop this process. Anything I do now will only create delay and cause complications, mainly my resistance will make the experience uncomfortable, even frightening. I am being asked to “Let go” and allow things to progress. I am also being asked to, “Be patient” with myself. The opening of the higher chakras can take many years. I cannot expect to have nightly mind-blowing experiences, though I desperately want to.

Though I have been here before and it was life-shattering, this time does not have to be. Yes there will be change, but the change does not have to be scary or earth shattering. If I am open and patient with myself, if I listen to my heart rather than my fears, the process can be beautiful and empowering. All I have to do is “trust”.

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Madonna

Yesterday was a long day. We spent most of the day at my Mom’s for Thanksgiving and then went directly to the church to have another Thanksgiving there. We did not get home until late and then I could not fall asleep. I must have had too much caffeine. I drank mostly iced tea the entire day.

I felt my guide close and also sensed quite a few more in Spirit, about 9 total. I felt I needed to meditate and so I did, trying to quiet my mind. However, as soon as I would get to a quieted mind my guide would become more noticeable. Finally, I just listened to him rather than try to quiet my mind.

In my mind I saw a hand extended to me and felt I should take it. I reached out with my own mental hand and took it. When I did, I felt a surge in my heart chakra that lingered and expanded. It did not fill me up with the usual intensely, wonderful feeling, though. Instead, it felt blocked and dulled. I then began to feel an energy in my feet and legs. It was heavy and tingly. When I felt it, I instinctively began to urge it upward, slowly. I felt the energy slowly move up into my solar plexus and then into my heart but I could not get it to extend any higher up. I was able to get some energy to move up, but only small amounts. I knew this meant I had too many blockages.

I spent some time doing self-healing. I don’t know how long I spent, but eventually I must have begun to doze off because I suddenly had a vision of my baby struggling to breathe. It woke me suddenly and I flew out of bed. I checked on my baby and he was fine but I was wide awake and on mommy alert. Why did I get such a vision? Was this a warning that the “test” I have been dreaming of will be that I lose my baby to SIDS?

I could not go to sleep after that. I was a ball of worry and suddenly became super aware of how my body was feeling. I could not breathe out of one nostril and the other one was so dry it hurt to breathe. I also had a headache. I noted the time and it was midnight.

Continued Energy Work During Dreamtime

I slept fitfully and had odd dreams, most of which I cannot remember fully. I do recall dreaming of a friend from high school who I use to work with as waitress. She was being asked to go with two women. They appeared to be making sexual advances upon her at first but when I studied them closer, I realized they just wanted to have her company as a friend. I urged her to go with the woman even though she was very afraid for some reason. She left with them, looking back at me and I was filled with huge amounts of sympathy and could feel my heart chakra radiating energy out toward her.

In another dream I do not fully recall, I was driving a car down a road with high, white sides. It reminded me a tunnel without a top. I watched as a man in uniform slowly removed orange and white cones from a section of the road ahead of me. The section had two off-shoots, one to the right and another to the left. The left side had been opened up but the man was still removing the cones from the right.

As I approached I put on my brakes when I saw that the right tunnel had not been cleared of cones. I stopped completely and another person in a white sedan who I knew had been following me barreled through the right side, tossing the cones and then flying high up into the air. Her car collided with the concrete of a nearby building. When I looked up, I noticed the car had changed to a motorcycle. It was completely totaled but my friend was unharmed. When I approached her and asked if she was ok, she said she was and then said she had to get out of there before they found her out. Then her motorcycle was miraculously repaired and I jumped on and drove it down stairs. The stairs turned to slides and I followed them down for what seemed like forever.

I awoke at that point and could still feel the energy lingering in my heart chakra.

ThirdEyeMadonna – Lucid Dream to OBE

I fell back to sleep for some time and then awoke at 6am. My kids were up and noisy and I could not fall back to sleep. I put a pillow over my head and tried to sleep. I stated mentally, “I want to go OOB”.

The next thing I remember was sitting in a chair next to my bed. I heard music and a woman was next to me and then seemed to be all around me. It was dark and I could only see shadows of varying shades of gray. I sensed the woman more than I saw her and recognized that she was tapping headphones that were on my head. The music sounded like dance music and the beat was unfamiliar. The woman asked me, “Do you know this song?” I recognized her then as Madonna and I told her, “No. Sorry”.

I heard the music continue to play and recognized some of the words but most are lost to me now. The song was not one I had ever heard but I do recall hearing the word “star”. The Madonna woman then asked me, “Do you like my music?” I said, “I don’t usually listen to your kind of music but I am starting to”.

Then I was out of the chair and the “Madonna” woman was in the chair. I was trying to see her more clearly but could not make out her face. She reached out to me and pulled me toward her and I sensed a sexual inquiry from her. I let her pull me close and hug me. I recall seeing her neck and noticing she was wearing earrings and a necklace. I looked at the necklace while she attempted to encourage me to kiss her. I did kiss her but something felt very wrong about it. It was then I knew I was dreaming and that I did not want this to for myself. I pulled away from her.

Now completely “awake” within my dream, I felt the woman’s presence change. It was still dark but I turned around to look and see who had replaced her as the energy felt masculine. I saw a man in her place and his energy suggested he wanted me to have sex with him. He came towards me and I let him get close enough to touch me. I looked at his face and saw his features were angular and he had blondish hair that was cut short. He reminded me of someone but I did not know who. He did not say anything to me but I could feel his intentions. They felt odd to me, like he was hiding something of his intentions and I knew quickly that he was a sexual deviant of some kind and that he was not someone I wanted to be around.

At that time I also recognized I was standing right next to my slumbering physical body. I was so close that I could feel the pull of it and I kept thinking I needed to get away from it. The man continued to will me toward him but I did not like the way he felt and wanted nothing to do with him. I decided at that point to get away from my slumbering body and the man so I went to the bedroom door. I tried to open it but found that the doorknob was on the wrong side of the door. It took me a while to realize this but when I did, I opened the door, went out and down the stairs. I could feel the man behind me and a part of me looked behind me while another saw straight in front of me (I think this is the 360 degree vision people speak of having in astral). I moved so swiftly that I do not recall seeing the stairs at all. I just recall being downstairs and seeing my two oldest children watching television.

I went out the front door and down several steps. These steps are not there in real life so I am not sure what house I was in, but it was not mine. I stopped in my tracks when I was confronted with a completely different place than I expected. The residential street I assumed I would be on was replaced with a very urban street lined with brightly lit up buildings that stretched for miles in both directions. The place was familiar and I knew far to the right was a tall, silver building that towered above all the others. The sky was clear and I could see thousands of stars spread out in front of me. It was as if the sky went on forever! The air was crisp and my vision was crystal clear despite it being dark. I was overcome with awe as I took it all in.

I instantly wanted to stay there as long as I could and so looked down at my hands to try and increase my awareness. I looked down not knowing what to expect after finding gloved hands in my last OBE. I only saw my hands, just as they appear in real life. There wasn’t even any glow to them. I found this peculiar but did not let it bother me.

My vision remained crisp and I took note of how real and solid everything felt. Had I not known I was OOB I would have thought I was awake! I looked from my hands to a large building across the street. It looked like a very pricy, old hotel from another era. It was lit up with yellowish lighting and was a spectacular sight. I wanted instantly to explore it.

As soon as I set the intention to fly over to explore the building I felt my conscious energy coalesce into a mental ball. I did not feel my astral form at all. It was as if all of my consciousness was a mass of energy. The mental me was pulled upward as if through a siphon and there was a force that built up as my consciousness rose up. I had no control of this it seemed and went quickly upward and then into my sleeping body. I did not even feel the familiar settling of energy like normal. I was just instantly back in my body and fully aware.

Considerations

Upon waking I had a headache and was very thirsty. I also felt like I had been sleeping in a bad position as my lower body was stiff. I began to think of the short OBE I had an how weird it was. I thought about not writing it down because it seemed so boring but I thought perhaps I should focus on how lucid I felt and the senses I was able to utilize.

My perceptions are mostly limited when I am OBE. I usually have vision, sometimes clear sometimes not so clear. I also often can feel others and objects without a problems. Taste is also not usually an issue but is not often used unless I am eating something. Hearing is almost nonexistent. I hear most everything in my mind. External noise is a consciousness trigger for me and usually pulls me back into my physical body quite quickly. I have heard some amazing things OOB but it has been a long while. The music I heard in this experience was muted but I did hear it. I do not recall using my sense of smell often, but I have smelled things. For example, in one OBE I smelled the rain and felt it as it hit my body. I also heard it as it came down, a quiet trickling sound. This was one of my OBEs where every one of my senses was utilized. I would have given it a 10 on lucidity.

I recognize that this OBE was one of the few where I was quite lucid and was increasing in awareness very quickly. I believe this happened too quickly which is why I came back into my body the way I did. I was super aware of my energy and how it moved and then it was as if no transition at all occurred when I reentered my body. I was simply “awake”.

The recognition of myself as energy rather than a body was also interesting to me. I have only felt the “siphoning” feeling once and it scared me. In that experience I was sleeping when suddenly I was awakening by feeling my consciousness being siphoned upward and out of my body. I felt like liquid energy dripping upward and out of my body. I recall thinking I was dying and freaking out. I have never felt that again until this morning’s experience but this one was in the opposite direction, back into my body.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 5 increasing to 8

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: Midnight

Time to wake: 4:00am; 6:00am, 8:00am

Meditation?: Yes

Physical Exercise?: None

Mood: normal

Body: headache

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 3

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: Left side

Supplements: Multivitamin, Mineral supplement, Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Benadryl 25mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg

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Merging Unveiled

A while ago now, my guide told me that he and I were in the process of “merging”. I never quite understood everything about merging, but I did recognize that it meant that he would no longer be viewed by me as separate from me. For some reason, the idea of merging was scary to me, especially the thought of losing my companion traveler who has always been by my side in this life.

Recently the subject of merging was brought up in my astral projectors FB group by a friend, Jurgen Ziewe, who is a well-known author of books on astral projection and higher consciousness. He is in the process of writing a book about his personal experience of merging with his Higher Self who he calls his “silent companion”. The discussion question that was asked was about spirit guides. Several individuals wanted more information on spirit guides. I responded by saying, “[My guide] is the quiet inner voice that answers questions I pose to myself both during OBE and out. I found mine through meditation.”

This response was that I was actually describing my Higher Self. To that I replied:

That is what a spirit guide is, at least in my understanding. My primary guide tells me often “I am You” and after this experience I asked what the energy I felt was when I hugged him and he said, “It was You”. I have other guides who he refers to as Assistants. I do not really concern myself with them, though I see them in my dreams as well, especially a female one with an M name. Some say we have a separate guide and I am bit confused as to if this is true since I am regularly told we are all One and separateness is an illusion. I suppose then that the name “guide” is confusing because of this illusion of separateness. From the way my guide feels, he has been with me always and always will be. He is an aspect of myself who Remembers all that Is while I am the aspect that has chosen to Forget. I wish I could remember the story he told me about those who Remember and those who Forget, but it makes so much sense and explains the separateness that we on Earth have chosen for ourselves.

That is when I got the great explanation about merging and what it means from Jurgen:

Yes Dayna, the “guide” feels like a separate presence and it is easy to consider it as such and of course there are no guarantees that they are not separate, which can make it all a bit more complicated. The golden man in your experience could be a manifestation, but If there are guides we perceive as separate and they actually are separate they only serve one purpose, to connect you ultimately to your higher self. I always referred to this awareness of “not being alone”, of this presence in my life, as my “Silent Companion”.

I had a guide before I became aware of this permanent presence in my life. I first came into contact with him, whom I regarded as “my teacher” during an OBE. He was most definitely a separate entity, with his own history, raucous character, attitude, a chap I recognized as a very old friend. He poked fun at me and played games, but always with a lesson attached. He then came to me regularly for several months and put me through a training program, which allowed me later to enter much higher dimensional levels.

That was before my so called “silent companion” showed up, when this happened he no longer featured. Though on occasion other people showed up during OBEs, who took me to places and showed me various things. One of them identified himself as Phil, with a completely different personality to the first guy. He too disappeared, but during the waking hours and the day it was always my silent companion which was the more constant aspect in my life and finally, over a year ago I clearly got to know it. There was no longer any doubt what this aspect was as I merged fully into it, my higher self.

So I still think there are different awarenesses we can be linked to, some are friends, helpers, guides, but I think they respectfully step aside when our awareness of who we are, rises to the fore and we have a direct link to the higher self, the “knower”. You become more confident in that knowledge, but also more humble as your old identifications are gradually pushed to one side. The purpose of the silent companion is union, which is when we merge fully with our higher self.

When this process has finally tipped the balance in favour of our higher self our awareness turns into an awareness of “the stillness of the present moment”, constantly, day and night, unmistakably, unshakable, always, permanently, moment by moment, without break and no knowledge or any clue even of how we could possibly get back to our old separateness. We don’t even remember any more, what it was like as our old self, because it was such a flimsy artifice. Life then changes for good, without return.

I captured it here in the twelve points I noted down, how life is transformed when we merge with our silent companion, which turns into the stillness: The Higher Consciousness.

I am still absorbing and digesting the validation and information I received from this FB conversation. As you all know, I do not often go out in search of books or articles that relate to my experiences. I rarely feel drawn to do this and when I have questioned myself about these tendencies the answers I receive indicate that there is no need for that which is already understood and accepted from the Self. When I have sought after validation through outside sources (outside myself that is) I have found my confidence in myself becomes muddled with questions and self-doubt which only serves to slow down my own spiritual progress. However, such as is this circumstance, lately my answers come to me from without and often do so in larges chunks such as is this case.

It is obvious to me now that merging is part of the process of awakening; IS the awakening. I have noticed that my guide (higher self) is much closer and more ever-present than the previous 7 years. I also recognize that the message I received back in June of this year about my upcoming “death” was in fact not a physical death but a death of the me that I have been throughout this life. I suspected this.

Jurgen describes this “death” of transformation perfectly:

It was as if a cage of frosted glass, which had obscured my vision for so long, had been shattered into billions of tiny pieces and there was simply no longer a way of putting them back together again to form the old frosted cage. Whereas in the past I would take glimpses into higher states of awareness, spontaneously or through meditation, I was inevitably posted back into my old mundane self, striving to find my way back into the clear light of reality which was unimpeded by viewpoints, judgements or personal issues. Now it felt as if the bridges back had been incinerated and for the time being at least I appeared to be permanently located on a new viewing platform with no roadmap back to my old self and any interest whatsoever in returning to my old ways had simply dissipated.

I was given a time period of four years from this past June until the time of “death”. It seems a long time but to be told that it is coming is a gift. My guide spoke to me last night as has been the usual in the evenings since the birth of my son. He reassured me that the coming changes are good and to be patient with myself as I struggle through some of the difficulties of accepting myself back into myself. I asked how to invite him in, and he told me, “It is not something that can be explained in words but something that must be experienced to understand”. Yet I saw in my mind a visual of opening my heart and accepting myself without fear or judgment. With this vision I recognized how much I fear what I will find when I open up to all that I am, have been and will be. To do so without judgment is perhaps the most difficult task of them all because it comes with the human tendency to label ourselves and our choices as “good” or “bad”. For so long it has been whispered to me when I criticize myself for a “wrong” decision, “There are no mistakes, only choices”. How does one step back and view life without labels? How does one ignore the illusions and accept what is before them as it IS with love and acceptance? I shudder to think of the lives I have lived (that I remember) where I have been so horrible that the mere memory of it causes me to withdraw and contract from myself. I can’t do this if I want to reunite with myself. What a huge feat it seems yet my guide reassures me that it is achievable.

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Contract

Yesterday, for our 7th anniversary, my husband and I decided to try indoor skydiving. I actually had the idea pop into my head about a week ago. It kept coming to me so I told my husband and he set it up. He was really excited about it. I was a bit nervous but I kept hearing my guide encourage me to do it so I went ahead.

When we got to the facility I was nervous and my palms got all cold and clammy. I hate it when that happens. All the others in our group were kids, too, which was weird. The instructor was a blonde woman from Australia and very likeable.  She immediately reassured me that I would do good saying women are the best flyers. By the time we were waiting our turn in the wind tunnel waiting area I was calm. I kept thinking, “I do this all the time in my dreams” and also decided that I would just do breathing and relaxation techniques while flying because the instructor said relaxing was the key to good flight.

When it was my turn I just jumped in and at first was unsteady but found it felt a lot like being in a deep pool of water. The air folded around me like a blanket. I felt so light! It so reminded me of times when I would fly through the sky in astral. If only the tunnel sides had projected blue skies with clouds, it would have been just the same feeling!

On the my second turn I did much better and was able to maintain flight on my own and even go higher. I noticed I kept holding my breath and had to remind myself to breath more than once. The master instructor asked me if I wanted a trip high up into the tunnel. I had watched him take flyers and spin them circularly all the way up and down two to three times. The speed of the wind was also increased and the flyers I saw doing it, including my husband, looked to be completely thrilled throughout it. So, I agreed to let him take me for a “spin”.

He barely touched me and I began to spin very fast and then I felt him grab hold of me and the circular spinning motion intensified. I went so fast I began to scream from the thrill of it. I could not see much as I spun, but it didn’t matter, it was so freeing and wonderful! I could have stayed in there for much longer than my 2 minutes.

My guide was right. This was a good experience for me and my husband. I have not had that much fun with him in a long time.

Dream: Daddy’s Missing

I went to bed last night and set an intention. I stated: “I want to work on healing my past (memory inserted of past life). I want to experience what I can of this OOB if possible”.

I fell asleep quickly. I had a dream about my father but I never once saw him in my dreams. Instead, I got news that my father was missing and had been missing for over a year. He had been overseas on an island country doing work. He had an apartment and everything but had just up and vanished one day. In the dream I recall that he had come to my high school graduation but I had not seen him since.

There was an investigation. I remember seeing the ocean and crossing it, going to an island. I drew in closer to the island and went to my father’s apartment. I looked around and through his things. His phone was there and I noticed it was out of service. I looked through his bed sheets and under the mattress. I found a book under the mattress and opened it up to find some slips of paper that he had written on. One was scribblings and the other had numbers as if he were doing accounting. I remember the numbers very vividly. It was amounts of money in the thousands with deductions in the hundreds. I concluded that he had lost money on a job but do not remember what I concluded about the rest of it.

His apartment rent had been paid for and had been for a year despite him being missing. Everything was where he had left it, untouched. I found this perplexing and walked around a bit, talking to the landlord who explained that my father had made sure that everything was paid for while he was gone. I went back to his phone and found it reactivated. This gave me hope.

mainpuraOBE: Contract

I awoke from this dream to sounds of two screaming children. My oldest son was crying for daddy and my baby was downstairs trying to get up. I went and got the baby and soothed him and put my toddler back to bed. It was 6:00am and so I went back to sleep.

Within minutes it seemed I was back in dreamland but this time I was lucid and becoming more so. I felt sluggish and heavy but separate from my physical body. I recognized I was in bed with my husband and we were talking about something. He said to me, “You forgot to sign” and put in front of me a paper with lots of typed words and a signature line that was highlighted.

I looked at it and knew it was a contract of some kind. I then saw my signature was already there and said to him, “I already signed, see?” I showed him my signature. Then I looked and saw that the other side of the opened “book” had an identical contract on it. This one was my husband’s. I said to him, “You are the one who hasn’t signed yet” and pointed to the highlighted signature line showing him it was blank.

I then felt my energy shift and then shift again. It felt like part of me was being pushed or nudged in one direction while another part of me was staying still. This was a bit unsettling but it caused me to gain more awareness and I wanted that. I could not see well but I could feel my body and the bed. I then willed for my husband to touch me. I wanted to feel it and so know what I was experiencing was real.

I soon felt a hand cover my own. For some reason my hand felt very small, like a child’s and the hand that covered mine also did. I closed my fingers around the hand tightly and felt a wonderful energy pouring into me. I let the energy flow up into my midsection and enjoyed it for a moment. Then I felt a hand touch my side. It was warm and larger than the child’s hand I had been clasping. I turned around and my astral vision came on suddenly. I saw next to me a man with golden skin. It was shimmering and sparkly, like he was more energy than form. He was not wearing any clothing so his entire body was this gold, shimmering energy. He was smiling and sitting very close to me. I expected to see my husband, since that is who I had been talking to about signing the contract. That is who I saw at first, and I was filled with happiness. But as I looked closer, trying to make out his features, his face shifted and blurred, looking to be several faces in one.

I did not care who it was that was with me, I just knew he was part of me and wonderful. I fell into his gold, shimmering arms and felt them wrap around me. When we embraced, the wonderful energy poured into me again. I kept waiting for it to shoot up through my heart and crown but it never did. Instead it settled in my mid-section and radiated outward. It was a different feeling than what I have felt come from my heart. I felt safe and loved and the feeling was warm and comforting. It said to me, “I am here. Everything is okay”.

As is normal for me when I come in direct contact with my guide, I began to gain awareness very quickly and all at once. I immediately lost the safe feeling as the energy shifted and I came quickly back into my physical body/awareness. I opened my eyes and was not upset that I was waking but I did feel spiritually tired and depleted, not wanting to return to physical reality.

Husband’s Dream

I asked my husband if he had any dreams about me and he stated that he did. He told me that in his dream I was his instructor and teaching him how to fly. I told him about my OBE and the contract he had yet to sign. I asked him if he thought maybe he was deciding if he wanted to learn from me since he had a dream about me being his instructor. He thought maybe he was. I find it interesting that he had his dream at the same time I had my OBE.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 5

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 9:30pm

Time to wake: 6:00am; 7:30am

Meditation?: None

Physical Exercise?: Indoor skydiving

Mood: normal to low

Body: headache, lower back ache

Tiredness: Moderate

Number of wakings: 2

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: stomach

Supplements: Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Benadryl 25mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg

by

Bullet Holes

Before I went to bed last night, I did not read as is my usual routine. The book I have been reading has me a bit overwhelmed and I need time to process it. So instead of reading, I decided to ask to astral. I said, “I would like to confront my fears and defeat my demons.” I focused on my third chakra as I mentally said this. Then I said, “I would like to see my core Self”. After I said this, I had a bit of fear rise up within me. It was surprising and my guide said, “Okay”.

Finding Daddy

I awoke sometime around midnight and do not remember my dreams. I went back to sleep almost instantly.

I slowly became more and more aware as I was dreaming. At first, the dream is a haze but I do recall being outside of a row of houses in a fairly nice neighborhood. There was a park with bright green grass across from the particular house I was standing in front of. The day was bright but not too bright and I had a feeling it was mid-morning.

I was with several other people, but I do not remember any except one man and one woman. The man was who I was speaking with the most at this time. We were discussing OBEs and how to initiate one. I don’t recall who came up with the idea to try, but I laid down on the front steps of the house after recognizing the heaviness I felt and commenting that I needed to use it to my advantage. At the time I really do not recall feeling “heavy” or anything of the sort, though, which is odd to me.

When I laid down, I close my eyes in the dream and could feel the heavy feeling I had just commented to my friend about. The scene was still there but turned gray as I closed my astral eyes. I was not fully aware just yet but was attempting to bring more consciousness into the experience and I am assuming this was the method that made most sense at this time. I felt my “body” but it was not my physical body. It felt heavy and cumbersome and now that I look back on that moment, I believe I was feeling my etheric body. I don’t remember much about the shift but when it happened I instantly recognized I had achieved my goal of going OOB. All I recall of the feeling now is a funny shifty energy similar to what I feel when I exit my physical body.

When I got OOB (and it is funny because I believe I already was OOB prior) I was elated. I had instant astral vision and was facing the vivid green grass of the park. The sky was blue and spotted with clouds and I reveled in the clarity that surrounded me as I have not had much of that in a while. I could still hear the friend who I had been with but I don’t remember now what he said to me. I turned around, though, suddenly wondering if I could get a glimpse of my body. I looked toward the steps of the house where I knew I had fallen asleep and saw a body, curled up underneath a heavy green and blue blanket, my body!

After seeing my body, for some reason I was surrounded by several men of various ages and we all set off through the park. I immediately began to think of my father and was thinking/saying, “I have to find my Daddy”. We ended up inside a busy restaurant. I think we teleported there because one minute I was in the park and the next I was inside a restaurant. The men were still with me, too.

I looked about, noticing there were many, many people eating and conversing inside the restaurant. It was also a very nice restaurant and the people were all wearing business attire. Most were businessmen of various ages. I looked at them closely, thinking once I saw the back of my Dad’s head after hearing one of the men I was with saying, “Look for him”.

After a few minutes I said aloud, “I don’t think my Dad is here. I don’t think he is in astral anymore”. I felt that he had moved higher up and knowing this made me instantly forget about looking for him.

willowGutted Apartments

As soon as I lost interest in finding my Dad I was transported to yet another scene. This was instantaneous and almost imperceptible. There was no loss in vision that I recall. One minute I was in the restaurant, the next I was standing outside on a paved road underneath a huge weeping willow tree. I stood there dazed for a moment, trying to get my bearings. I looked up and saw the trees heavy, green branches hanging over my head. I then noticed that it was raining a light mist and it was coming down all around me. It was very light rain, just a dusting but enough of it to get wet, although I do not recall feeling “wet” but I did feel the tickle of the rain on my skin. I remember saying aloud, “Come on! I thought I was past this!” as I said this, I saw past the rain a sliver of sunlight peak through rain clouds. I instantly forgot the rain and began to focus upon the tree that was hanging over my head.

I reached up into the tree’s branches and attempted to use it to spring up into the air. As I did, It felt like the tree reached out and wrapped itself around me. I was only able to get about six feet up and then it seemed to gently push me back toward the ground. I tried one more time to get airborne and it happened again. I soon gave up, deciding I was meant to walk, not fly.

It was at the point that I began to look around me. I was standing in a street that led to a large group of apartments that circled a round parking area and street. My vision was still bright and the day still almost cloudless. I scanned the apartments and noted their varying states of decay. Some looked like they had been bombed while others just looked neglected or unfinished. They were all white with several stories and every one of them had no glass in their windows. Instead of windows, there were black, gaping holes that screamed emptiness and isolation.

I did not feel concerned about the apartments as I walked toward them, surveying each of them. I headed toward the last row as I thought I detected a ray of sunlight shining through one of the windows in the very back of one of the apartments. I thought perhaps I could get through to the other side of the apartment, so I went inside.

When I walked in, I noticed the walls were barren, cold and grayish white. I yelled something like, “Hello! I am here!” but got no answer, just an echo of my own voice. There was no furniture and the windows did show there was an other side to the building. I walked toward it but as I did, the walls seemed to shift. I went through a window and it turned into a staircase that went down, or did it go up? I went up the staircase and into another room and again hit another staircase as I tried to go through a window. This one appeared to also go down.

I followed the stairs into a round room that was made of the same grayish walls. There were tiny windows cut out in it, but there was more wall on the other side with only teeny, tiny slits that opened to daylight on the other side. The walls appeared to be made of cement and were very hard and I noted tiny, round moldings decorated the walls. I tried to find the way through but I kept going in circles and could not get out. I then wondered how I got there as I was confused – did I go up or down? It was very disorienting and the room almost seemed to spin around me as I kept trying to get out.

Bullet Holes

I came into my body briefly then and recognized it. I was cold and shifted my position and then went back to sleep.

I did not come back with full lucidity but I was lucid enough to remember that I was talking with someone. There were two – a man and a woman. I recounted my experience to the man, telling him excitedly, “I saw my body!”. Most of this I remember as if re-dreaming everything. I felt like he was there to take notes on my experience.

Within this semi-lucid state while I was recounting my experience, I found myself in a completely different scene. Laid out in front of me was a multicolored board. It was like a canvas but I cannot tell what was painted on it, just that it had lots of vivid reds, blues, and other colors on it. I was carefully filling tiny holes that dotted the canvas with a yellowish putty. I dipped the putty from a container that was held by a woman. She had blonde hair and was very bright. As I dipped into the putty she said, “I can only help you if you are clear”. I immediately understood that she could only help me heal if I was focused upon what I wanted to heal. I looked down at the canvas and the tiny holes all over it. I recognized the holes as bullet holes; wounds.

This vision and message woke me up. I was very cold and a bit shaken by what I had just seen. Was I really so wounded?

It Has Been So Long

I noticed the time and then rolled over to try and sleep. But I couldn’t. I was wide awake. I kept thinking, “I am healing”. My guide was close and he covered me in his calming energy. It swept over me, entering my left arm and then spreading over my entire body. I let it pull me into relaxation, reveling in it.

I must have dozed a bit, as I was awakened by my guide saying to me, “Encourage you to explore yourself. Encourage you to share your experiences with everyone you can.” This brought me to full wakefulness as I digested what I had just been told. I questioned my guide, “Share my experiences???” My guide sent another waves of energy throughout my body. It was more intense this time and I thought for sure something big was happening. I allowed myself to be overcome with the energy and felt it rising in my midsection. Then, it then began to slowly withdraw the last of it lingering in my head until it was gone.

I asked my guide, “Why do you do that? I love it when you do that. It has been so long. Why did you stop?” All these questions came at once along with a feeling of hope that I cannot describe and a welling up of emotion that said, “It has been so long”. It was like I was meeting up with someone I had left behind and only when I saw them again did I realize just how much I missed them. It was the feeling of Home that I have been chasing after my entire life.

I could feel my heart filling up but it fell short of the amazing outpouring of love that I have felt in the past. I was left feeling incomplete but at peace.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 7

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 10pm

Time to wake: 7:30am

Meditation?: None

Physical Exercise?: None

Mood: normal to low

Body: neck ache, lower back ache

Tiredness: Moderate

Number of wakings: 2

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: left

Supplements: Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Benadryl 25mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg

 

 

by

Ego Child

This morning my husband told me that he has been having waves of depression hit him out of the blue at odd times of the day. He said he had one hit him in the middle of the night and that the feeling is so horribly heavy that he struggles to not be overcome by it. He then attributed the strange mood swings to his sugar intake. I stopped him there and told him it is unlikely that sugar is the cause of these intense, unusual bouts of unexplainable depression. I asked him if he had considered that it was happening to everyone and widespread all over the world. He said, “You mean it is coming from the 4th dynamic? I hadn’t thought of that.” Then he paused and said, “That makes a lot of sense”. (The 4th dynamic is mankind).

I then explained to him how long I had been perceiving it and how it affects everyone differently. I told him that those who have not taken responsibility for their own life and issues and cleared them out would be struggling with past life and current life issues related to themselves and their family. However, those who have cleared most of that out would then be struggling with issues related to the world and mankind. So, in essence, his depression may be that he is connecting to greater world issues rather than something within himself that needs to be cleared. Though, of course, his own issues are and those of mankind are reciprocal. They are interconnected and so his depression is likely linked to his own issues related to how he is connected and responsible for mankind’s actions.

After our conversation I began to think about my OBE with the man who I identified as my father. As I have digested the experience, I feel that the healing that occurred by my sending love to this man was more directed toward allowing this man to heal and move on. Yes, the healing was also my own but is reciprocal. He heals as much as I heal. I have had this realization before as I recognized that even though one person may feel they have recovered from a damaging relationship, they are not truly free until all participants have also healed and recovered. Since we are all One, we are all connected in every aspect of our spiritual development, positive and negative.

I am certain now that this past father figure of mine has been carrying with him the guilt and pain of his many wrongs in the life we had together. Our relationship was one that started with love and turned into confusion, pain, misunderstanding and misappropriated emotion. The love he had for me contorted and became disfigured until he could not differentiate between right and wrong and so betrayed his own morals and beliefs while alienating and losing a beloved relationship with his daughter. In his subsequent lives he has carried with him the burden from that life. Currently he may not understand why he feels and does certain things. He may be haunted by a guilt he does not understand. He may be fearful of his current relationship with his daughter(s) and not know why. The extent of his pain is not fully known to my conscious Self but I do know there was relief in his eyes and acceptance of my forgiveness of him. Perhaps this will allow him to break free of the constraints of guilt and fear that have overshadowed his present life. Perhaps in his release I will also be released and my distrust of men, father and husband alike, will begin to dissolve, revealing a truth I have yet to see.

From 12 to 10 to 4

Last night as I prepared for bed, I noticed that the room felt very empty. I felt alone. Upon further investigation, I recognized that I had lost the 10 in Spirit who have been hovering around me since a day after I first noticed there were 12. I was back down to my typical “4”, and so it felt to me as if the room had emptied. Thus, I felt strangely “alone”.

With the exit of my council and the return to “normalcy”, I wondered if the man I was going to meet was the father I met in my OBE. It definitely could be that he was. My guide would neither confirm nor deny this and so I let it be. I no longer have the energy to contemplate it. I have accepted that I will just have to “wait and see”.

Perception

I have continued to sleep deeply and last night was no exception. I woke with an odd feeling that all the negative feelings – anxiety, worry, unhappiness – in my life was “someone else’s fault”. The feeling was very wrong to me and I did not like it. There was also an element of “unfairness” that lingered. Why was it that some people always seem happy while I do not? I recognized that a part of me felt that happiness was deserved and so if someone had happiness who did not “deserve” it, then an injustice had been done. The resentment I felt form this caused me to become unhappy, as if trying to compensate for the wrongness of the situation.

I did not contemplate this for long, but attributed it to the odd dreams I had about my family relationships, specifically my relationship with my sister. I now recognize that these dreams are the “work” that I am doing at a higher level and eventually the rewards of that work will trickle down and integrate with my present Earth consciousness. It does me little good at this stage to over analyze my dreams and OBEs. To do so would be like forcing a square peg into a round hole. If I my Earth consciousness cannot yet assimilate such information, what good does it do to try to force it? The end result is more of the same – loss after loss, disappointment after disappointment. I must have faith that the “me” at higher levels is advancing and that when the time is right and my Earth consciousness is prepped, prepared and attuned to the process, everything will settle and integrate. In the end, there will be a wholeness, though it may be barely perceivable at first.

The Ego Child

As I began to understand the integration process, I became completely disinterested in the things which I have been interested in of late. Specifically, sharing my OBEs and considerations with others. I do this for many reasons, one of which is to have my experiences validated by others. Although I do not want to admit, I seek agreement from others that my experiences are “real”. A part of me also wants to brag about them and has a strong desire to be praised by others for my “uniqueness”. I often have struggled with this part of myself. The Ego often wishes to be praised and seeks attention for being unique and “special”. My guide is understanding of this, however, and reminds me that it is “normal” and not to rejectthe feeling but instead accept it, taking care to balance it with understanding, love and patience. He explains to me that the Ego is to be treated like a child. It should be nurtured and loved. It has to learn much like a child does and it is my job (the Higher Self) to teach it by allowing it to stumble and fall as much as is needed in order for it to learn, all along offering support, unconditional love, and encouragement in whatever way is best received by the Ego child.

It is at this juncture that I recognize the purposefulness in my accepting the role of the Ego child via life in a body. It is possible to me now that I am indeed split into different parts, each with varying levels of consciousness. I am choosing now to be the Earth consciousness. I do this via the human body and experience things “anew” with a strong need to individuate myself from the whole. I seek to experience life via my own lens. This lens is colored with experience. All the while, there is a “me” I am not aware of that is watching, teaching and guiding the other “me” along their individual path. I am also aware that there are likely others of “me” as well. It also is very clear to me that this identification with the Earth consciousness via my Ego child in this body is a distinct choice every part of “me” made, as a whole. Once I am done with this human experience I will return and all aspects of “me” will be united as one again. And “we” will likely again choose the human experience as one of the many experiences available and the process will be repeated.

There is then the question of why I gave myself access to “myself” while in this life. I know this is not the first time I have done this, but it seems to me as if I am “cheating”. I am told this was purposeful and the plan is to continue this patterns until the Ego child is fully integrated. Once that occurs, the Earth consciousness via the Ego child will be transformed. It is not clear what comes next, but it is certain it will not be a path like any I have tread before.

by

See No Evil

I was awakened to shrill screaming. After tending to my baby and unfortunately arguing with my husband about the “cry-it-out-method” which I believe is horribly mean at such a young age, I got back into bed. I was unsettled and angry for a bit and certain I would not fall asleep. Fortunately, I did.

White SUV

I found myself in a dream with my husband. We were both getting part-time jobs at a taco joint. I was doing it because I felt I had no choice. I don’t know why he was doing it.

My husband was training and I went to help the others get the food ready for the day. I remember thinking about how I did not want to return to such a job as memories of my past part-time employment at various food establishments resurfaced. It did not disgust me but I was completely disinterested.

I went outside and found myself in front of my old middle school. It was pick-up time and there were cars everywhere. I went to my SUV and moved it, parking it farther from the school, then called my husband to tell him where I was. I got inside and someone had sprayed water all over it and short circuited the Bluetooth. I got upset and drove to a new parking place, but parked crooked. The people in the next parking space began to speak harshly to me about how I parked, demanding I move my SUV. I was not nice back and noticed they were Iranian or something and remember thinking how out of place that was.

I moved my SUV by actually pushing it with my body. I turned to yell at them, telling them I could not park right because I was avoiding hitting people. They yelled back and pointed. I turned and saw my SUV had rolled into a utility poll and was damaged. I laughed at it, completely unconcerned. I also saw that it was a vibrant white, which is not the real color of my SUV.

Baby Boy

Seeing my SUV the wrong color must have caused my awareness to peak and I found myself experiencing the sensation of exiting my body. The room I came into was dark and I immediately noticed it. The first thing I did was launch myself into the air and yell out, “I want to see light!” As I did this, I remembered I should sing, so I started singing the phrase as I flew.

I soared up higher and higher and began to notice my surroundings. I do not remember it becoming “light” but I could see clearly, though not as vividly as I would have liked. I was in a house and it had high ceilings. I was on the second floor and flying through towards a room. I went inside and saw an oval bathtub full of bubbly water and toys. I do recall this room was brighter than the other one with a golden hue. I came closer to the tub and began thinking of my baby and knew/thought, “Thinking of him will bring me joy and make the light come”. As I thought this, I looked down and saw him in the water, smiling and floating sideways. I leaned in and picked him up, watching the water go over his face and saying/thinking, “You are okay”. There was a complete understanding that he did not want to drown, so he wouldn’t. I picked him up and held him close, enjoying the moment. I clearly remember seeing him smiling and reliving the feeling of closeness and motherhood.

Control is an Illusion

I felt myself floating back over my body. I settled in the familiar energy and then willed myself back. I wanted to return and see what was next.

I soon opened my eyes back in the house. I was on the second floor and vision was not an issue, though the lights still seemed low and my vision not as clear as I would like. I went to a half wall that overlooked the first floor and looked over. I climbed on top and stared down. Suddenly I was filled with apprehension that came with considering jumping over the edge. I then looked to my right and saw both my boys next to the half wall. I grabbed my baby’s hand and said to him, “Jump! You won’t fall!” and took the plunge. I plummeted towards the floor, briefly worrying I had been wrong, but I stopped short of the bottom and lightly bounced upward as if I had hit a trampoline.

At this point it was as if the projection/experience stopped completely or at least paused. I heard the voice of my guide to my left and behind me. I could not see him and his voice was like my own thought, but separate. I had been thinking about how I worried I would lose my children; how they could die so easily if I did not protect them. I was afraid for them and concerned. His thought to me was, “That is what makes his life exciting”. With these words came a complete understanding that my control over his life, over his safety, health and happiness, was a complete illusion. His life was his and mine was mine. I had no control over whether he lived or died. That control was totally his.This realization did not upset me in the least, instead I accepted it joyfully and I felt an energy within me release. If I had seen it, it would have been an explosion from my solar plexus.

I felt very accomplished, as if I had overcome a huge challenge. Feeling overjoyed, I flew up to the second wall, grabbing my oldest child’s hand and taking him with me.

We soared upward and my vision blacked out.

I Love You

I returned to my body, hovering there briefly. My hand was numb, so I had to move it, breaking the energy flow briefly. I did not worry that I could not return. Instead, I mulled over what had happened in my two OBEs, recognizing lessons were being learned and that it was purposeful. I was in “class”, but not like ever before.

I closed my eyes and went OOB without even thinking about it.

When I opened my eyes I was again on the second floor of the house (I think), but in front of me was a man. He was standing quite a distance away and seemed to be asleep with his eyes open, like I often see people I encounter in astral. He had dark brown hair that was short and thinning and round features. He looked vaguely familiar, but I could not place him. Though I do not remember having consciously intended anything, I knew immediately my intent towards this man. I even knew he was my father and knew his name, though it evades me now. I walked towards him with such courage, but my heart was suddenly overwrought with emotion, rejection, and pain, as if this man had done me great harm in life. I put out my hand, knowing I needed to love him and to accept that I did love him. It was the hardest thing I have ever done to hold my hand out towards him, palm facing him with the intent to heal. In my memory of it, it is painfully slow and torturous, the emotion so strong and painful that I began to well up with emotion, my heart center burning inside my chest.

When I got to him, I placed my hand right over his heart and tried with great difficulty to speak. I finally pushed the words out and said, “I love you”. When I said the words, the energy in my heart was exploding, it was not pleasant, but it was not painful either. It was just releasing old, stale, negative emotion. I felt the love energy rush through my arm and into my hand, right into the man’s heart. When this happened he suddenly became aware and looked directly at me. He seemed to recognize me and smiled a smile that said, “Thank you, I know this is hard for you”. In his smile I also knew he had wanted this to happen between us. I was close and he wrapped me in his arms and I fell into him, hugging him tightly.

God_Consciousness_1024See No Evil and God Consciousness

I came back to my body with the feeling of still hugging this man, this father figure. My hand was numb again and I moved it. At the same time realized something major had just happened. I had a breakthrough. I sorted through my memories but could not place the man, this father of mine from a past life. I stopped on one memory that I thought could potentially be him. When I did, I began to cry. If this was that father, then indeed there was much pain and betrayal involved.

I did not want to wake up and found myself in that in-between state for some time. During this time, my guide was talking with me, discussing what had happened. I saw many images but one stood out to me. It was a book that had the words “See no evil” written on the front along with a picture of a statue holding its hands over its eyes. On the side of the book, along the bound edge, were the words, “God Consciousness”.

I woke out of my reverie in shock, completely understanding what the “see no evil” meant. I then questioned the title on the bound edge. “What is God consciousness?” I asked. I got no answer but soon fell back into my in-between state, watching images float through my vision and hearing my guide speak, explaining what was going on and where I was going.

I don’t remember his exact words but I do know that I am using my astral reality to confront my demons. Some of these memories are so horrid that my conscious self has not been able to confront them fully. Yet, somehow another part of me is. These realities are my classroom, a controlled environment where I can safely analyze myself, my beliefs and my cycles with the assistance of my guides. It is purposeful and safe and much less likely to upset my waking life.

When I think back to the man I confronted, I truly believe he was not created by me but actually present. Perhaps he is living life now and was dreaming when I put my hand on his heart. Whatever the case, he recognized the healing and accepted it. I hope, wherever he is and whatever he is doing, he wakes up more at peace than he did when he went to sleep.

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Lightening Bolt

12

Yesterday was a struggle. I awoke in a bad mood and then decided to write my husband a letter since we never seem to be able to communicate without interruption from our children. It is so hard to have any alone time with each other! Anyway, I actually started to write to a friend and then realized it was something I should be telling my husband and so copied and pasted it into a Word document and then added more. I told my husband to read it and let it be and then heard him typing and knew he was responding.

We ended up having a good conversation about my considerations and upsets. It was helpful but I wish we had had more time to talk. It never seems we have enough time for each other these days. The good thing is that my husband did not feel the way I thought he did, and that helped ease my upset. I noticed afterward that my shoulders were more relaxed. The tension, which had been so fierce that it felt my shoulders were stuck to my ears, was gone.

In the evening I sat outside listening to a neighbor play classical music. It seemed fitting and I smiled as I looked up at the half moon. The air was crisp and cool and the night was very quiet except for the beautiful music. I relaxed and let out a huge breath that I must have been holding in without knowing. When I did, I noticed my guide near and also that there were others. It actually felt a bit crowded and I knew instantly there were 12. At first I was a bit shocked but my guide said sent me a feeling that said, “It’s okay” and I asked why they were there. He said, “To help” and I accepted it. I did not feel like asking anything else.

Later, as I lay in bed preparing for sleep, I focused on healing a friend. As soon as I began to meditate I heard, “Look” and saw a white light in the distance. I tried to look closer but when I did I could not see it. I still felt the 12 near me and tried to again focus on healing. Instead my thoughts kept drifting away from my original intention to other intentions – all of them healing related. That is when I experienced an odd energy coming through the top of my head.

Lightening Bolt

The “lightening bolt” is what I call the odd energy. It has happened almost every night this week. Last night it happened for the fourth time. I don’t know what to call it, so I will describe it instead.

It always happens when I am laying in bed usually ten minutes or so before I finally drift off to sleep. It usually happens when I am laying on my stomach, which I have been feeling I should do for some reason even though I am not a stomach sleeper. it is almost like I get told to do it, but it really is just a thought that comes to me that says, “Turn over” or “Lay on your stomach”. I briefly have the intention to defy the “order” but then resolve to just do it because it comes from my Higher Self and I know that whatever the reason, it is a good one.

When I lay on my stomach I usually cannot get comfortable, which I know will happen and is why I am not a stomach sleeper. Usually I cannot keep still and hear a quiet, calm voice say, “Be still”. So I comply. After a while of being still, it happens. I get hit with what I can only describe as a lightening bolt of energy. It comes from above and strikes me in the head, usually from above and at an angle. It doesn’t hurt but it makes my entire body jump. This is not under my control at all and the movement reminds me of what happens when I have dreams that I am falling and jerk back to waking reality, shocked and a bit afraid. Yet the “lightening bolt” of energy is very obviously a stream of energy coming from somewhere and the residual energy of it lingers where it enters my head for some time after the event.

The first time it happened I was just stunned and wondered what the heck had just happened. I eventually let it go, chocking it up to some odd, deep relaxation side-effect even though I was not even close to a deeply relaxed state when it occurred.

The second time it happened I began to wonder if it was something intentional. But what?

The third time it happened I had been anticipating it and waiting. When it happened, it caught me off guard – which is the usual. I focused on how it felt and could not figure out what exactly the energy was or what its purpose was.

When it surprised me once again last night I noticed that the energy seemed to go through my entire body in a straight line. Last night it exited out my left side near my knees and feet. Each time the lingering energy always sits in my head near my crown chakra. This time I felt as if I were being observed and, since I knew I had 12 guides near, I was convinced that they were behind this odd lightening-like energy.

Questions

I am convinced that this energy is some kind of healing energy but I may be wrong since I have never experienced such an energy and have not read anything of similar experiences. Perhaps it is related to kundalini awakening? Or perhaps it is just an adjustment being made by my Higher Self and I am not meant to know its purpose other than that I am being “helped”.

If you have had such an experience, even a similar one, can you please share it with me? I am curious to know what might be happening.

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Astral Projection Techniques

Astral projection is a normal and naturally occurring event that occurs approximately three to five times a week if the person is experiencing at least 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep per night.  In astral projection, a person’s spiritual body leaves their physical body and enters the astral planes as well as other world planes. During this time, a person’s conscious mind is typically asleep and dreaming while their spiritual consciousness is communicating, traveling, learning, and participating in numerous activities on the Other Side.

Through my experience in astral, I have learned that the astral realms have the potential to provide us with knowledge of not only the Other Side, but also of ourselves, our bodies, our purpose in the physical, and our connections with those in Spirit as well as those who are physically with us.  The healing provided by astral travel is numerous and includes but is not limited to:

  • Physical and emotional rest
  • Release of tension
  • Healing of body systems and organs
  • Spiritual rejuvenation
  • Soul planning
  • Family reunions on the Other Side
  • Spirit Guide communication
  • Auric clearing and cleansing
  • Chakra balancing and “tuning”
  • Spiritual insight
  • Reminders of life lessons/goals

Since we all astral project, we subconsciously already know how to leave our physical bodies during sleep.  However, to consciously astral project can be complicated and sometimes even scary to those who do not know much about astral projection.

Astral Travel: What to Expect

If you have never astral traveled and/or know little about it, the following is information that will be useful to you, especially if you decide to try the techniques in this document.

Astral Travel/Projection occurs when the ethereal body separates from the rest of the spiritual body.  The ethereal body is sometimes also called the emotional body but in essence it is the part of our Soul that resides in our subconscious.

During this disconnection, the conscious mind is typically asleep and already dreaming.

Those who remember their astral travels usually remember them as very vivid dreams.  Typical astral projection dreams include flying, superhuman abilities and strength, alien/unearthly environments, intense physical sensations and/or emotional reactions, and more.

There are a few, however, who will spontaneously astral project AND consciously remember the experience as REAL.  For those who have done this, the following symptoms were likely to have been present:

  • Loud “whoosh” sound in the ears (sounds like wind blowing in your ears)
  • Tingling sensations up and down the spine
  • Body twitches and spontaneous movement of limbs
  • Fluttering of eyes under eyelids which can sometimes lead into Rapid Eye Movement (REM)
  • Pounding heart; increased heart rate
  • Loud popping noise
  • Sound of Velcro or zipper
  • Other noises that may range from talking, to static noise, or banging (do not focus on them!)
  • Flashes of imagery in the mind (early stages of REM)
  • Bright white light or other colors behind eye lids
  • Feeling of lightness or “flying”
  • Numbness or paralysis in limbs This occurs only after reaching an astral state where the astral body has not left physical body – to end this state simply focus on moving a single toe or finger.

The symptoms listed above are also symptoms of what hypnotherapists call the “trance state”.  Without going into detail, the trance state occurs when the body enters into a very deep state of relaxation.  All of the symptoms are very normal and should not be feared.

If you do find yourself fearful of one or more of these symptoms then ask your guides to prevent you from consciously going into astral.  Just because you do not enter the astral state while conscious does not mean that you cannot become conscious once you have already left your physical body.  In fact, almost all of my astral travel experiences have occurred after I fell asleep because I found the symptoms I experienced to be overly distracting and scary.

The following is an astral projection technique that I have used in the past with success.  I created this technique by using the following resources as well as information provided to me by my Companion, Steven:

Astral Dynamics:  A New Approach to Out-of-Body Experience, by Robert Bruce

The Secret of the Soul, by William Buhlman

Astral Projection Exercise

Technique #1

Go to bed at your regular bed time.  Do not drink alcohol, take sleeping pills, or do any other kind of recreational drug prior to going to sleep.  I advise that you try this exercise when you do not have to wake up at a designated time for work or other activities due to a schedule or daily routine.

Lay on your back in your bed.  Feel free to pull the bed covers up over your body – do whatever it takes to make yourself comfortable.  Prop your head up on a pillow being sure to support your neck.  Rest your hands in your lap or over your belly. Close your eyes.

Take several deep, long, slow breaths.  Counting to four between each inhale and exhale can help if your mind wanders.

Once you feel relaxed, focus on your body.  One by one, tense and relax the muscles of your body starting with your feet and moving up through your legs, torso, chest, back, shoulders, and face.

Begin with your feet – tense your feet for five seconds….then release and relax for five seconds.  Tense your feet again for five seconds…..then release for five seconds.

Now move to your legs and follow the same procedure.

Move to your abdomen and torso and follow the same procedure.

And so on and so forth until you have tensed and relaxed all of the muscles of your body.

It typically takes about five minutes to effectively tense and relax your body.  Take more time if needed.

Now mentally state your intention. The statement should be something like: “Tonight I would like to astral travel and remember the experience.  I trust my guides and angels to watch over and protect me.

Now that your intention has been clearly stated you can relax and let yourself drift off into sleep. Try to stay on your back for as long as you can; however, if you move to your side, it is okay.  Trust that your guides and angels will direct you as needed and that you will remember what you are meant to remember.

Astral Projection Exercise

Technique #2

Some people have difficulty with astral travel when they are overly exhausted or on a tight schedule.  Sometimes, changing the technique can help instigate an astral experience.

The following astral technique can be used at any time and is especially effective for those who hope to bring on spontaneous astral projection.

Go to bed at your regular bed time.  Set your alarm clock so that it goes off about four hours before your normal waking time.

When your alarm clock goes off in the middle of the night, turn it off and set it to go off at your normal waking time.  Take a few deep breaths (in case your heart is still pounding from the alarm).  Do not get up unless you truly have to (a restroom break is acceptable).  Lay on your back with your head supported with a pillow.  Make sure you are comfortable. Then you can 1. do Technique #1 or 2.  you can simply state you intention (see technique #1) and go to sleep from there. I usually just do option #2 because when I wake in the middle of the night I do not need to relax and tense my  body – I am already very relaxed. Typically I just state my intention and go to sleep from there. Usually I enter into astral with no problem.