Tag Archives: healing

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The Fragmented Self

There was much behind-the-scenes work going on last night, not just for me but many others. We are preparing for the ultimate shift, one in which we will be completely transformed. How many are going through this? I am unsure. All I know now is that my soul group are all going through this together. Some are a bit slower than others, but we are all transforming and at lightning speed, too.

I received a clearer understanding of my particular situation. I just woke up knowing it. My transformation is best termed a “walk-in” but the meaning of this was clarified for me (thank goodness!).

I am integrating a higher aspect. This kind of walk-in is very common and usually temporary. However, I feel my particular case is more permanent as there will be a complete exchange of one aspect (the old) with the other (the new). Currently I am “shedding” the layers that compose the “old” me. I have been asked to return to my past – to review memories, journals, etc. If you wish to follow this life review, you can visit my YouTube channel as I am making videos of what I find along the way.

I realized that this is part of the shedding process. A life review of sorts, preparing me for the exchange. It involves more healing and letting go. It is getting easier as I progress, too. I have been doing this healing for a  very, very long time.

The Fragmented Self

A memory from long ago surfaced this morning. I had previously been told by my Companion that I was “fragmented” and later referred to this as my “Fragmented Self”. Essentially, when life gets tough – the tough run and hide (lol) – or at least I do. When there is trauma, a part of Us splits off. This is coping mechanism and very well known in psychology. It was explained to me that I have to retrieve these fragments in order to become Whole. Some call this soul retrieval. I just call it hard work. lol

 I wrote about it in my blog on July 26, 2011. Here is what I wrote:

At some point, a part of me fragmented away from my self in order to create a me that would survive in this body and do well in life. Unfortunately, the memory of that event is strung out over many years [and lifetimes] and it will take time to regain. But with that memory will come clarity. The clarity is the de-fragmentation of my self. I have already felt the  beginnings of it. Tiny moments of complete and utter calmness and knowingness. It is beautiful. And I intend to get to the point where that calmness and clarity will stay. I intend to reunite myself with myself. I think I am on the right path, too.

All this time I have been retrieving fragments. All this time I have been healing a gaping wound that I have carried with me life after life.

I have experienced the return of these fragments over time. At first I just noticed something was “different” but in recent years I have actually felt these fragments return. These fragments are parts of me on other paths as well – my multidimensional aspects. They shattered and went other directions, into a different “times” or dimension. All of this also involves the collapsing of timelines. It is like all of who I thought I was, who I could be and who I am, is coalescing. As I get more parts, as the pieces come together, I begin to Remember more and this snowballs and more and more parts are returned to Me. It is really a beautiful thing.

Rebirth

In my dreams last night I was preparing for my rebirth. There was much discussion on what was coming. Unfortunately, I recall that the present personality that is in charge was not made fully aware. Thus, I was “sleeping” through much of the conversation. I recall snuggling up inside a sleeping bag while my “class” got on a bus to go on a field trip. There were moments when I tried very hard to wake myself up but the heaviness of sleep kept beckoning and I would ultimately give into it. It was during this “sleep” that the majority of the conversations (negotiations) were taking place. I am told that this is for my own protection as I am not yet ready to fully participate.

Every day I feel a little more of the new me and little less of the old me.

There is a feeling of anticipation along with fear with all of this. Who will I be when this is all over and done with? Also, what do I do then? What will my path be? So many questions arise. Yet at the same time I know that this exchange is ultimately the whole reason for this life and the ones leading up to it. I will be reborn into wholeness.

 

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Forced Break

Sorry I haven’t written in a couple of days. My youngest had the stomach flu and then I got it, too. Not much fun for either of us. Thankfully his was over the minute mine began.

I was told a few days ago that I needed to clear out all toxins in my body or else the next shift would be more uncomfortable. I began to do this, but very slowly, and then got hit with the stomach flu. I was forced to clear out toxins the hard way. I couldn’t eat for over 12 hours and whatever I ate 12 hours before that was eliminated from my body with brutal force. It was probably the worst case of stomach flu I have ever experienced.

When I was in the midst of the worst part of the flu something happened that has never happened to me while sick. I received energy hugs and when this occurred I would briefly experience a complete calm and loss of my symptoms. It was brief relief and much needed.

I also had intense chakra energies in the very beginning stages of illness. My third-eye and heart chakras lit up with energy prior to the illness setting in. I have not felt much in these areas for some time, so it was a surprise. Then, when the illness was turning on full-force my second and third chakras were firing up and purging. I could feel it, like a dense ball of energy that would burst open and then retract. It was especially noticeable in my third chakra.

I was unable to do anything all day yesterday. This is very difficult for me as I am always up doing something. I spent most of the day curled up on the couch under a blanket sipping water and scared to eat. I haven’t had the stomach flu since 2013.

Focus on Life

Besides being ill, I am being encouraged to shift my energy toward mundane life activities; to deal with and get my life in order. With this message, which has been coming since December, we received news that our property taxes went up requiring us to send in a mortgage-sized chunk of money at the very beginning of 2016. It also raised our monthly mortgage amount. Very frustrating! We also overspent during the holidays. So my focus has been on finances and trying to find a way to avoid returning to work and the dysfunctional education system. I spent most of this week refinancing a vehicle, starting our tax return and negotiating a reorder of inventory for my online business. Unfortunately, it is looking more and more like I will have to return to work eventually. My husband is a spender and no matter how much I try to encourage him to budget he won’t. If I can’t get him to stick to a budget then I will have to go back to work. If I have to, then I hope to wait until the fall when my two oldest are in school.

What is really frustrating is that my Team of guides seems only interested in getting me to focus on returning to work. I hate it when they try to push something on me I don’t want to do.

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Ylang Ylang: Oil of the Heart

Two nights ago I had a dream that I forgot about until last night. In the dream I was frantically dabbing essential oils of all kinds all over myself. I was handed an essential oil by someone to use. I was encouraged to use it generously. I read the name of the oil several times, repeating it to myself with the intention of remembering it.

The oil I was given was Ylang Ylang. I do not own this essential oil and am not very familiar with it, but my research indicates it is the best essential oil for healing the heart and getting back in touch with one’s inner child. It helps to release bottled up and buried emotions smoothly while nurturing the heart. It also reminds one that joy can be recovered by allowing the heart to feel all emotion fully.

Talk about the perfect message and oil for me right now!

Since I do not own this oil, I searched my oil blends to see if any contained this oil. I found that my most favorite oil blend – Serenity – contains Ylang Ylang. It is said that we are drawn to oils that we most need. This is definitely true for me as I have used more Serenity oil than any other oil I own. lol

Here is the DoTERRA information page for Ylang Ylang for those of you who are interested.

 

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I watched a movie last night that I have seen many times – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you haven’t seen it, then you should. It is one of my favorites. The movie relates how our heart remembers even when our mind forgets – love really is the most powerful force in existence.

How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot! /The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d.

From Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope

An explanation of the quote is here.

I had not intended to watch the movie but my husband started it and then promptly fell asleep. So I decided to watch it again because I remembered the movie so vividly from the last time I had watched it.

Without going into specifics about what I am going through currently, this movie really hit home this time around and I was sobbing by the time it ended. Of course, I had two glasses of wine in my system by that time. lol

The movie reminded me that we cannot hide from the heart, no matter how hard we try. It also reminds me of the amnesia that comes with incarnating on this planet. Despite it, we really are not as blind as we may think. Our hearts will always guide us to where we need to be if we just listen.

Are you listening?

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Dream: Stabbed

Again I couldn’t fall asleep last night until around midnight. Very frustrating! Thankfully, I slept very well even if for only six or seven hours.

Dream: Stabbed

I found myself riding a bicycle down the road. I don’t ever ride a bike, so this is unusual for me. Out of the blue a force comes toward me and hits me in the mid-section.

I wake in a hospital bed. I am groggy and told I just underwent surgery for a stab wound. Without looking I knew where I had been stabbed – in the solar plexus. I saw in my mind’s eye a small, two inch wound which had been stitched up. It was located right where my rib cage ends; where the two sides split off from each other.

I lay in bed looking around. I was inside a huge room that was filled with hospital beds from one end to the other. Each bed was white and had an occupant. I saw that we were on the 9th floor, the sign indicating that we were in room 900 something.

I began searcing for my clothing. I wanted to leave before it got too dark. There were woman watching me and asking me questions about how I got there. I told them I was okay – that I didn’t even feel the wound. Specifically I said, “My c-section was way worse than this. I don’t even feel it!” I tested this out and sure enough I could not feel even an ounce of tenderness.

A nurse came by and asked me if I would look at a list of prices to pay for my stay. I told her, “I’ll take the lowest. I don’t have any insurance”. A woman across from me asked about it. I told her, “Since Obamacare, we can’t afford insurance. It costs us $13,500 a year and I only make $23k”. The woman said, “Do you at least get vacation?” I said, “Yeah, I’m a teacher. We get all summer off. It’s the best job ever”. She said, “I get unlimited vacation”.

I remember the bill was $1100. Then I said, “I need to leave. How do I get out of here?” No one had an answer.

I saw it was already 7pm and gave up because I knew it would take me 3 hours to get home from Dallas (why I thought I was in Dallas I don’t know). I decided to stay for the night and fell asleep.

When I woke I asked where breakfast was and was told they were waiting for the last person to wake before serving it. I said, “What if they wait until 10am!? Then we will all be starving! Worse yet, what if they wait until 1pm?”

My husband came to get me at that time and said, “Your bill was paid by American Express”. I said, “I don’t have American Express”. lol

Messages

I woke suddenly from the dream feeling very calm and relaxed; happy. My Companion was there and said, “We’ve been working on you. Recalibrating”. I knew the solar plexus was the focus because it held my fears.

I saw then a 3D image in front of me. It was of a geometric plane spread out in front of me. On it were images set in specific locations upon the plane. I don’t remember them now but they were familiar images like a house, people, and other landmarks or markers. I was told this was my next assignment; our Plan.

It was then brought to my attention by my Companion that my resistance was waning and we would soon be able to initiate the Plan. The visual I received was of him stepping forward to resume control of the human host body while I stepped back. I heard then the song, “Come Home” by OneRepublic. The specific part was, “Everything I can’t be, is everything you should be”. I understood this meant that I was to be shown Our potential by my Companion. He has said as much, that he will “teach” me when he is in the pilot seat. The song just gave me more information. This exchange is to show me what I am capable of.

I tried to get more information, to understand what this experience will be like. I did not get much clarification, only that it will be “different”. I was shown a blender and understood this meant our energies would blend during this time. But wasn’t that already the case? Apparently this is not the same as the braid.

I was and still am ready. I do not feel fear but am told the experience, if not gradually implemented, will initiate a sudden fear response. So, it appears it will be gradual to test my response. I am intrigued and I am ready!

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Dream: Baby Snails

I slept really hard last night and had many strange dreams, the kind where nothing really makes much sense and blend together. When I woke up, 10 hours later, I felt drowsy and didn’t want to get out of bed. I asked to astral project but was told, “We are working on you [energetically]” so I knew it was a no-go.

Dreams About My Nanny

For two nights in a row I’ve had dreams about my grandmother who died last year not long after the birth of my son.

In the first dream my grandmother was on the floor of her home cleaning it vigorously with a large towel. Her poodle was nearby watching. I asked her, “Nanny, why are you on the floor?” She said, “It’s dirty and my knees are out”. This was typical of her in her later years as her knees both went out.

Last night I dreamed of her again, but this time I did not see her. Instead I was inside her home where her things were being laid out on the kitchen table. There were many small jars and a strange looking vibrating thing. I picked up the latter and was asked if I wanted it by my mom. I knew it was a dildo and said, “No. Gross”. Then my mom showed me the attachment and it was this foot long, smooth and flat rod. It looked more like a sword than a dildo. It was really weird! I remember not wanting to think about my grandparents using it together.

Then I saw a machine and an attachment. The attachment was for an enema and I was again grossed out, imaging my grandmother giving herself an enema. lol

Finally, I began looking at the jars on the table. Inside one I saw a tiny brown and black puppy. I remembered my grandmother often froze dead puppies (not sure why). I looked closer and the puppy had two maggots on it. Yuck! The other containers also contained puppies. I looked in one and there were three.

I then went into a dream within a dream where I watched a mother dog and her three puppies. The mother dog refused to let them nurse and the puppies slowly starved to death. As I watched, a woman was telling me that she kept them together as much as possible. I kept asking why she didn’t feed them herself. The answer I got was she had to let nature take its course. This upset me quite a bit. I felt it was unfair and was sad about it.

Dream: Baby Snails

I had an odd, very vivid dream after that. In it I was in an apartment standing with others looking at someone who said, “When you come back for your friend you will die”. It looked like he threw something towards us and this force-field of blue shimmered. I didn’t worry about what he said because my friend was already with me.

We went into a room and I watched my friends sit on the floor and eat. I began to clean up the floor which was covered in crumbs and debris and asked them to please not eat in the living area. That is when I saw a plant that was doing poorly. I picked it up and found it had too much water in it. I squeezed out the water and these strange pods fell out.

I picked up a pod and wondered what it was. It reminded me of buckeye seed but it was light colored and smooth. Something was moving inside. I inspected it further and determined it was two baby snails.

I took the snails to a science lab and showed them to this guy. He dissected it, which upset me. I said, “You’ll kill them!”. I remember being fascinated by the baby snails.

The rest of this dream is confusing. The whole time it felt to me that we were hiding from a war that was raging all around us.

Interpretations

Prior to sleep last night I experienced a great emotional outpouring over the refugee situation in Europe. I had watched a video and was hit suddenly with a great sadness for them and their plight. It brought up to the surface past issues of loss, specifically loss of children and the innocent. Such emotional situations always make me wonder how people can be so cruel. I believe the dream I had in my grandmother’s home was about this.

The second dream also applies to this issue. Snails represent over sensitivity. They can also symbolize steady progress towards a goal and bring the message to go at one’s own pace.

I know without knowing how that I am currently focusing on my heart center, purging yet more from it’s depths. It would be nice to be able to be objective about the suffering on this planet and not be hit with the pain I did yesterday when thinking of the refugees. Similarly, I would like to not feel this way when considering the deaths of the innocent, animal and human alike. I am not sure there is even a way to avoid such emotion, though.

 

 

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Dreams and Symbols

Yesterday I was visited by a familiar friend as I attempted to zone out while watching television. I heard, “Remember you are not this body. This is all an illusion”. When I heard this, I looked up at my living area and at my son who was sleeping silently nearby. My vision clarified and seemed to shimmer subtly and I felt very strange, as if I could leave the scene at any moment. Of course, I didn’t, but my attention had been diverted where intended. It was a reminder to not get caught up in this illusion.

Later, towards evening, I saw a symbol in my mind. It kept repeating and I was unsure what it meant exactly. However, it triggered a memory of the in-between and I knew I had seen the symbol along with others. The symbol resembled the fermata which is used in music to indicate that a particular note be held. Yet when I saw it I thought it looked like an eye.

As I slept, I had various odd dreams and the symbol reappeared.

Dream: Flooded Clean Bathroom

In this dream I recall only that I went inside my old bathroom at my Mom’s house. When I went inside it was obvious that a great flood of water had gone through. There was debris – leaves, twigs, dirt – piled up against the door and in other areas. The bathtub, toilet and floor was all spotlessly clean. I remarked that I had never seen it so clean in my life and began to clean up the debris.

horusDream: Painting an Eye

In another dream I was with a woman who was preparing to paint. She told me she needed an eyeball and opened up a cabinet to reveal piles of eyeballs. They appeared to be the real deal and I asked her about them. She said,”I need the real thing for this”.

She selected an eyeball and began to paint onto it an iris and pupil in 3D. When she was done, though, the painting was in 2D and very unrealistic, mostly in black and white. I remember when I saw it the symbol I saw prior to bed. I wondered what it meant and where I’d seen it.

Symbol

I researched the symbol, first looking at ancient hieroglyphs and other writing, but I could not find it. It was then that I realized I had seen it in music and sure enough I found the fermata was exactly what I had been seeing.

I did find that the symbol I saw, when inverted, was part of the Phoenician writing, the dot representing a star or planet and the crescent representing the moon. The sign was also part of US Hobo signs and meant “Cops active”. The inverted version is part of the Aum symbol and represents a state of transcendental consciousness. Finally, the same symbol I saw is part of the Mayan hieroglyphic system meaning the new or waning moon together with Venus.

I can’t help but wonder why I keep seeing this symbol. I believe it is linked to the symbols I have been seeing prior to bed when I meditate. I see two triangles, one above me and one below, pointed toward one another. I then feel that I should put my hands above my heart in a diamond shape. When I do this, the two triangles intersect and begin to rotate. At the same time my heart chakra pulls considerably, almost painfully. I believe that this is a method of intense clearing and also linked my third-eye with my heart as my third-eye typically activates as well.

My dreams seem to go along with this clearing, especially the bathroom one. Such a positive dream indicating that much clearing out of negativity and “waste” has been done. The eye appears to be linked to the eye of Horus, though I am not sure the significance here.

 

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Healing from Evanlon

At about 3pm CST yesterday the energy began to intensify and my third eye and heart chakra were buzzing intensely. I also began to feel an energy wrap around the back of my head.

When I questioned my Team, I heard, “We are here” and I felt a pang in my heart like I had been waiting for whatever it was that was happening.

Rekindling

My husband had given me time alone of almost 4 hours when all this intense energy began to materialize. I spent quite a bit of time doing relaxing things – I took a bath, I meditated and then I lay in the afternoon sun. It was nice!

Later I got a sudden strong emotional draw to my husband. All I wanted to do was be close to him; to feel him, hug him, love him. I got all giddy like a teenager in love! This surprised my husband and me, too. I have not felt this way in years, probably since right after my second son was born in 2011.

Healing Dream

I woke suddenly around midnight with thoughts of an awful Yahoo article I read yesterday. A baby had been found dead in the family’s oven. She had been put there by her two, 3-year-old siblings when all three of them had been left unattended. I could not get the upset over it out of my mind. How must her mother feel? How could she ever love the children who did this in the same way? Why would those children even do such a thing!?

I requested help and though I did not hear anything back I began to feel comforted in knowing that the little girl was okay and in good hands. She had wanted to experience this as had her siblings and mother. Though this helped somewhat it was still hard for me to understand why anyone would agree to die in such a way.

I fell into a dream in which I was meeting with a man who was quite eccentric in dress and manner. He was young, perhaps mid-twenties and was a Reiki practitioner. We were meeting because he was to give me healing.

I recall lots of things about the dream, which indicated the types of things I was healing. Issues regarding my mother, the oven incident I had just woke upset over, and other issues related to the lower three chakras. What was most interesting was the intense attraction I felt to the healer I was working with. I wanted to be close to him but he kept me at arms length always, yet somehow I received healing.

Meeting Evanlon (Ee-van-lawn)

I woke at 6:45am wide awake and in the midst of speaking with the man from my dreams. I knew much more than I usually do about what my dreams mean. In fact, I knew I had been with him to do specific healing to “clear away debris” from my lower chakras.

I asked who he was. He said, “I am an experiencer like you”. I saw him traveling between individuals he helped and remembered how my Companion told me that Earth travelers travel in pairs, one as the experiencer and the other as an assistant.

According to my guide, a spirit guide is “a traveler of the Earth Plane who is assisting others who are traveling the Earth Plane.” This assistance can take many forms, but essentially, the two travel the Earth Plane together – one as the Assistant (or Guide) and one as the Experiencer (us).

Excerpt from Spirit Guide Meditation by Dayna Stone

I said, “You mean Earth traveler?” He said, “Yes”.

I saw in my mind a map of the U.S. around the states of Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama and Georgia. I saw that he traveled in this area, but that didn’t make sense.

map“Are you in a body, too?”

He said, “Yes”. I wondered if perhaps the map I saw was where he lived in the U.S. and traveled there as part of his “work”. I felt this to be true.

He then provided me with more answers. I knew he was part of my Team and that he was also “on assignment”. He told me, “We are not meant to meet [in the physical]. We have different courses”.

His primary role is as a healer, though he may not fully recognize this in his physical form. He assists others in his group when they need healing. He was now assisting me. I wondered if he was part of my Team. He confirmed he was. I asked if he had worked on me (healing) before and he said, “Yes, many times before and I will so in the future”.

I asked what my role was, was I also a healer? He said, “You have a different role”, but he did not tell me what it was. I knew/know it is more of an adviser-type role. Like a counselor or guide.

I began to fall into the in-between while speaking with him. I wanted to know more specifics and believe this occurred specifically so that I would not doubt the information I was receiving.

I heard a name that sounds strangely like Avalon. I wondered about it and then saw, “Evan” very clearly written in my mind. Then heard the name Evanlon. It was pronounced very slowly and clearly and I repeated it back. I wondered, “Strange name, should I call you Evan?” I received only a repeat of the full name. Now that I am waking I wonder if perhaps he was giving me his Earth name and that he is called Evan Long here? Not sure I will ever know.

I saw then a vision of a bright light in the sky. It looked like a meteor up close brilliantly blazing white but it was standing still. Then it began to fall down. I repeated, “It will fall three feet from you” over and over and this along with the repeating vision caused me to come out of my reverie.

When I awoke I knew the message was for me to expect a “visit”. The light in the sky was a ship, our ship. I heard Evanlon say, “We are helping you prepare for the exchange”.

“Exchange? Like what you told me about before?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes, but it is not as you expect. You are preparing. Enjoy this time of preparation”.

I got a feeling that this “preparation” was a time of calm in my life when I could fully immerse myself in experiencing. This exchange to come was not as clear to me and I am not sure I will ever be able to understand it completely. I actually thought it had already occurred. Perhaps not?

I saw then a vision of the inside of this “ship” and it was very plain with whitish-silver looking walls that appeared seamless, as if dome shaped. I saw others but only as silhouettes. I tried to get a clear look at Evanlon but he kept referring me back to the image of the man from my dream.

“What do you look like?” I asked. He said, “We take many forms. To you I would appear to be silver”. I saw a rainbow of colors on a silhouetted form, as if the individual shimmered.

“What race are you?” I asked.

This did not register to him. I felt that he did not classify himself this way.

“Where do you come from?” I asked instead.

“From beyond your sun”, he said. I asked for clarification.

“Pleiades”, I heard back.

“Where is our ship now?” I asked.

“Beyond your sun but it is not in your time. It is of another dimension”.

I didn’t quite understand. He explained it was not in the realm of Spirit. The description I received was of an energy body with form and shape that could be changed/altered. I had seen this in my OBEs before. It is beautiful.

I fell into the in-between again and again saw a map of the U.S. This time I heard, “Detroit” and saw a fire blazing in a factory-like building. I associated it instantly with the auto industry. Whether this is a premonition or a past event, I do not know.

Awake again, I focused more on the feeling I had when I was with Evanlon in my dream. I asked him about it. He said, “You recognized me. You wanted to reUnite. But that cannot be. We will reUnite when you return to us.”

I asked if this was “sex” because that is how I perceived my attraction to him. The reply was that it was similar but much more. It was an submersion into the other. I saw an exchange of places but within a joined space/energy. The feeling of it is beyond bliss; beyond anything we humans could conceive of. It is not sexual, though sex is the closest we humans can come to its understanding. I also felt this happens when we return “home” – with everyone.

I laughed and thought, “So we have a big homecoming orgy?”

The response I got was that it was not something that could be explained in human terms and orgy was not a good word for the occurrence.

Considerations

I feel strangely calm this morning after all that happened in the night and upon waking. All I can say is that I am open to whatever is about to occur. I feel ready, though I am not sure for what. I do not really understand what this coming “exchange” is.

 

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A Visit to Europa

Awoke at 5:30am this morning for my usual “Check-In”. I am getting use to these meeting times and this morning it was welcomed. There was a sense of comfortable acceptance likely left over from the day before.

Dream: A Course on Dreams

The dream scene shifted and I was standing at the door to a class room. A man with dark hair was sitting at a desk reading a paper and drinking coffee. When I saw him it startled me and I began to back out. He asked me, “Are you a new student?”

I replied, “Yes”.

He said, “Ah. Don’t forget to read up on the notes before class”.

I knew this was not my class, though, as I saw an image with his words that showed History notes.

I managed to make it to my classroom that was already filled with students. Without knowing how, I knew the class was on “Dreams” and that we were learning not only how to decipher them but how to create them. I sat down comfortably in my row at my desk next to familiar classmates.

Dream: Obstacle Course

The dream scene shifted again. I was at an obstacle course with my classmates that included holographic images that would be triggered by our movements/actions. I made it through both rounds quickly because I recognized the illusion of the hologram. In one case it was fire that exploded out and threatened to scorch us to death. In the next it was bluish-colored energy balls and deep crevices.

I made 2nd place both times. I remember complaining the last time, “How did I get 2nd? Surely no one beat my time of 20 minutes?” Apparently someone had, though.

Dream: Visiting Europa

I was led away from the obstacle course and to a very different scene. There was a man who led the way. He appeared to me as a dark-haired Shaman-type.

The next thing I recall is being submerged all except the front of my face at my nose and eyes. I floated in warm, clear, shallow water.

At the same instance I was in the water I was also above it surveying the scene. I saw a vast, shallow lake that went as far as the eye could see. The sky was gray and very thick with clouds. The rock appeared volcanic and shiny in places, but everywhere the rock was black except at my feet where it was as river rock.

The lake was divided into circular pools all around me. In each of these pools were people all submerged as I had been. Their eyes closed, they floated motionless.

I walked toward a deeper area of the lake and looked out over it. It was beautiful despite being in such a desolate area. It was also so very calm and I knew no fish or creatures could survive in this lake. The water was too salty.

A man was with me, the Shaman, and I recall that he wore Native American garb but it was much older than anything I have ever seen. I do not think it was of Earth.

He explained what the place was, though it was without words. It was a place of cleansing and the water was actually very dense salt water that caused the individual to float very easily.

monument-valley

Image of Lyra

It was while talking to this man that I began to gain awareness. I knew I had been taken there to remove buildup and debris – energies that I had picked up over the course of this lifetime that were unneeded and acted to prevent the smooth flow and function of the system.

In discussing this healing, I suddenly saw a vividly clear image of a familiar place in front of me. I felt to actually be there despite also being in my bed.

The first thing I noted were the two orange suns parallel to each other in the sky separated only by tall, flat topped mountains (like one sees in monument valley but not orange in color, more gray/brown). One sun was slightly larger than the other. Then I noticed in the front, right hand side of my vision a space craft that had several silver stabilizers linking it to the ground. It looked similar to a spider it had so many of these extensions coming from it. When I focused on it, though, it shimmered and appeared to be just another flat-topped mountain.

I knew instantly it was Lyra and so woke up completely losing the image. But it was/is fully ingrained in my mind. I asked if the lake had been Lyra and heard, “Europa”. Despite the fact that Europa is mostly ice-covered water based upon images, etc, it seems that the Europa I visited was not.

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Questions and Answers

I have felt “off” all day. I’m not exactly sure why. So I am going to see what my guides have to say.

What is up with the energy today?

The world is grieving and fear is taking hold in many places. There is a dark energy surfacing that has been in hiding for the past few months, out of sight and out of mind. The fear increases this energy and helps it take hold in places it otherwise would not.

There is also a clearing of dense energy occurring. This reemergence of the dark energy is part of this clearing. The recent events in Paris have shocked many into awareness which in turn has resulted in a great purging. Imagine the steam that rises off a pot of freshly steamed vegetables and you can get an image of how this energy is moving right now as it is released. Though it may seem heavy and dark right now, it will be replaced with light as more and more of it evaporates.

Why am I feeling this way? Usually I am not so effected.

Though you have succeeded in raising your vibration significantly since you began your journey, there is still much to be released. You, like many others, are freeing/releasing that which no longer serves you and this will not go unnoticed. A lethargy accompanies it. A soft sadness without source and without direction. There is a lost feeling as well that you recognize. This is simply you tuning into those souls who have yet to make a full transition Home.

You forget you have been fine tuned to get you to this point in your journey. Your connection to your multidimensional selves has created a new conundrum for you as you do not know what to do with what you know since you cannot quite articulate or wrap your mind around what exactly it is you do know. It is a struggle that will continue as long as you allow your mind to dominate.

But how do I keep that from happening? How do I stay centered in my heart? It seems so easy but it isn’t.

It is a process that takes time. No one will immediately be freed from the mind as it has its purpose: survival. The key is to control it; reign it in when it gets too demanding or too fearful. This requires patience on your part and much, much focus on thought. Not on what it is that you are thinking but why you are thinking it. Focus on the feeling behind your thoughts. The more you do this, the more your heart will take the lead.

As with all habits that need breaking, this one will take willpower and much, much persistence. Especially during times such as these when there is a purging of the old to make room for the new. For now there is less and less room for the old dichotomy.

I keep feeling like I need to be doing something but I have no idea what it is? Why am I feeling like this?

You have memories of your purpose here. They reside just below the surface of your conscious mind. Sometimes they leak through as feelings and/or untapped desire. It is with great love that we advise you to withhold yourself from taking premature action based upon these feelings for you are not yet fully aware of their source and the need for action is not yet. In your heart you understand this, which is why you have yet to act other than to go within and speculate as to the source of your feelings. This is okay and we encourage you to dig deep, deeper yet, for this is the only way to find that which is hidden from view. What is amusing to us and will also be to you is that you were the one that hid it there. And when you find it and remember there will be no doubt of your motives.