Tag Archives: heiros gamos

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Kundalini Dream: Who Are You?

I hope you have all been well. 🙂 It’s been a while since I last posted so I figured it was time for a little check-in and update.

Daily Yoga

I’m proud to say that I’ve kept up my daily yoga practice. It will be six weeks come Monday. Yay! I’ve honestly never kept up a yoga practice this long, daily or otherwise. It has been a nice change with positive results. In general, I feel so much better physically – less stiff in the mornings, more relaxed, and less preoccupied and anxious. Setting a daily intention, which is always part of my yoga practice, has worked wonders for me emotionally and mentally. They are simple intentions like, “I AM ____” or “I want to create _____”. Usually I insert “love” into the blank. I try to keep it simple but every once in a while I’ll surprise myself. 😉

Previously, I wrote about some weird heart rate fluctuations and dizzy spells where my heart rate was going as low as 40bpm. I’ve not had anymore since then but my heart rate has remained consistently lower than average, especially when I sleep. Just to ease my mind, I bought myself a blood pressure cuff to rule out excessively low or high blood pressure because I’ve had experience with high BP in the past (pre-eclampsia). I’ve yet to have a reading that is considered high, BUT I’ve had some pretty low readings. So far nothing to be concerned about, though. Usually my BP averages about 117/73 but I frequently have readings of 100/60 with the top number sometimes dipping below 100.

I can’t say for sure the yoga is the cause of these blood pressure changes since I didn’t check my BP beforehand, but I suspect it is contributing to it. I am much more aware of my breath, taking breaks just to breathe and BE when I feel stressed or anxious. Since I have an Apple watch I see immediately the impact focused breathing has on my pulse. For example, my pulse will rise into the 90’s when driving sometimes but if I focus on my breath I can keep it in the 60’s-low 80’s.

So, I am going to maintain my daily yoga practice, intention setting, deep breathing and breathing breaks. It could be that I am just now tuning into and experiencing the true rhythm of my body.

Dreams and Experiences

Sadly, my dream explorations and recall have been almost zero. I am sleeping deeper and more soundly, though, which is good. No complaints there!

There are some dream themes that seep through, however. I’ve had two distinct dream experiences since May where I was being instructed on how to activate my energy centers, specifically my root and second chakras. There is no specific memory of the instructions, just an overall sense of being instructed. In both instances I awoke both pleased at my success and shocked by the nature of the dream. I can remember being outside of my physical body manipulating it but also feeling the results of that manipulation. It was as if I was in both places at once with a third party observing and giving pointers. After the last “lesson” I woke up and realized I was being shown the capabilities of the physical body and was in awe at just how little I knew about it.

Another dream theme is of being counseled; talking through life issues with a confidant. Often I don’t recognize the other person but feel very connected to them in the dream. In one instance I was with a coworker who I’ve had many dreams with in the past (I refer to him as “K”). There are always messages that come through in the dreams, which is probably why I remember them when I wake. Some recent messages have been: “Make space” and “Talk it out”.

Messages about “space” have been repeating since last summer when I went to Costa Rica (back then it was “I need space”). After receiving the message “make space” on June 27th, I remembered my Human Design incarnation cross is all about space.

The Left Angle Cross of Refinement (33/19 | 2/1)

You bring the energy of having your own living space and nice things within it. Part of the driving force is about privacy and having your own space, not just for you but for the belief that it is everyone’s right to have such a thing. In addition to the shelter a home provides, you desire some beauty within it to add to your life. You are here to ensure all of us have the right to our own private and inspiring space. ~from the Definitive Book of Human Design.

One thing about incarnation crosses is that there is no one way of interpreting them. “Space” is the key word here. It is assumed initially that it means a physical space because it says “living space”, and “shelter”. And that could very well be but the idea of ensuring everyone has their own living space makes me think of interior designer. Ha! However, I am reminded of my environment in HD – Markets Internal. I invite people into my space. So my space is very important, both physical space and energetic. 

But then perhaps I am an “interior designer” but in so much more than the accepted definition. Interior= my inner world and self. My favorite place to go is within. The worlds that await me there are so much more fulfilling than any physical place could ever be. And my outer world will reflect my inner world. So all I need to do is create my inner world and the outer one will fall into place.

Kundalini Dream: Who Are You?

I saved the best for last but I won’t be telling it in full (sorry). I’m only putting it here since it was one of those “OMG” Kundalini dreams.

The day before the dream was an odd one with some hints I should’ve noticed, and some I did. One I noticed was the yin/yang symbol drawn on my Hyundai’s back window. Seeing it actually made me cry! I later learned my husband put it there. Huh? Not like him at all! Another was a post about the “Hermaphrodite” that caught my eye that morning. It was just so…unusual, so I had to post a reply, something I rarely do these days. Lastly, right before bed, I saw 1111 flash in my mind’s eye, bright white letters on a black background. I never see 1111 anymore so it was a surprise. Just FYI, I saw it again last night, so two night’s in a row now. All three signs point to the merging of the masculine and feminine.

The beginning of the dream is pretty much a blur in my memory. I was not lucid and the dream was nothing extraordinary.

I become lucid when a man takes my hand. Immediately I am struck by a familiar feeling. It is magnetic and irresistible. I don’t recognize the man but I don’t care. I go with him. He pulls me close, all the while the energy is rising like warm water from my root upward. The way it spreads is like liquid, tendrils moving upward through energetic channels I didn’t know were there. I can feel every one of them. They are like the roots of a tree….inside me! When the liquid ecstasy hits my heart I am blown away. I AM love. It feels like my heart is gone, replaced by a funnel that is pulling in the love of the Universe. It goes through me and up and around and back through (like the infinity symbol), a never-ending loop of love. I tell him, this stranger, “I love you!”

I lean in and kiss him right above his collar bone. I can hear his thoughts and feel what he feels. He is blown away by what is happening. He begins to lay me down and the energy intensifies. The warm, liquid bliss is flushing upward with ferocity but it is also extremely gentle. I’ve never felt anything like it. And though I want nothing more than to let it take me away, to drown in the bliss, I awaken.

I sit upright in bed immediately, shocked. My heart is still open, a fountain of love. I can hear the man’s thoughts in my mind. He is asking, “Who are you?” My own thoughts echo his. I wonder briefly, “Who’s thoughts are these? Mine? His?” I let that pass, realizing it makes no difference. My tears concern him. “Why are you crying?” I answer him with, “I never thought I would feel this again.” He asks, “You’ve felt this before?” I can sense his amazement. I answer, “Yes, but not quite like this”. I am still overcome with bliss and love but it is faltering now. My heart is racing in my chest. My tears continue to seep out of me as if I am leaking. I can’t seem to stop them. It is just so beautiful! 

My heart doesn’t stop pounding and I eventually have to get out of bed. It feels like a mini panic attack so I go outside, hoping the night air will settle me. It takes a while and some deep, focused breathing, but my heart finally settles and, amazingly, I return to sleep.

I am both elated and anxious from the experience. Mostly, I don’t understand why I heard another’s thoughts, felt another’s feelings, experienced a merge such as this with a total stranger. Completely caught off-guard, I went into fight or flight but had nowhere to run. This isn’t something you can run from. It’s the Kundalini and she gets what she wants. Every time.

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The Voice

Last night wasn’t a dreamless night, I just can’t really remember any of my dreams now. There was on in-between dream/vision of me singing songs with a choir and being adamant about not having to learn new songs, but that is it. lol That in itself may be a hint of my current take on life: “Sure, I’ll do that but only if I have done it before.”

I hear a silent whisper of a voice ask, “Where’s your inner risk-taker, little missy?” <Insert surprised emoji (WP where are your emoji’s?)>

Speaking of voices…..

Something’s up and I really don’t know how to talk about it without likely rubbing a few of my readers the wrong way and/or making me sound even more crazy than I already do.

I have been able to communicate with Spirit and other worldly beings for some time now. The two go hand-in-hand and by now I am so over the shock, surprise, and “special” feeling of having this ability. I no longer care if people believe that I can hear dead people (lol). I have proven my ability a plenty but have long ago let go of the need to prove I can do what I do.

But my ability to hear Spirit has now shifted into what I believe is the ability to hear people – alive and occupying bodies – in exactly the same way as I hear those without bodies.

If you think about it, the two are not much different. Spirit is Spirit, in a body or out.

As with any new gift – well newly realized anyway – it takes some getting use to. I have not worked out all the kinks yet, not by a long-shot. In fact, it is downright confusing at times! Like that voice I just heard that referred to me as “little missy”….is that a Spirit or some person in a body somewhere….or is it just me talking to myself (crazy feelings aside)? And how do I knew the difference when they feel exactly the same?

In most cases (like the one above) it doesn’t really matter I guess and I am damn well not going to stress myself out trying to figure it out. Not worth my time or energy.

But lately I am receiving messages that suggest that I could be communicating with someone in a body living here on Earth right now. Yeah, crazy, right? Hahaha You have no idea…..

Last night is one example. I was settling to sleep as is my usual when I began to receive visuals – almost like I fell into a dream but I wasn’t asleep yet. With them came communication and energy. A swift, blissful rush of energy there was no denying spread across my entire body, lighting up my heart center. The communication with this energy was in words mostly but I won’t repeat all of it here as it is deeply personal and if there is in fact someone out there communicating to me, I don’t feel comfortable sharing everything without permission.

Whoever this person is (if it even is a person in a body….OMG), I have a strong connection with them and it was immediately recognizable. There were flashes of imagery that I have seen before. For example, I saw him draw on my forehead in red what looked like the image of a cross. I have seen this before prior to a major Kundalini event and considering the bliss of the moment, I have no doubt of it’s meaning. It is part of the Heiros Gamos –  like a ceremony or rite related to it.

Some of what was communicated reminded me of previous encounters with a Spirit (person?) who I nicknamed my “tantra teacher”. I was being advised on how to handle the energy – to allow it without focusing on it, to relax into it, to accept it fully and openly without any resistance, to feel myself opening to receive. And when I did this I felt myself going somewhere, like losing consciousness almost, but not. I know if I go there it will take me to a familiar place, one I have gone to only twice before. My previous experience with it is hard to describe without making it sound “bad”; like I am being “possessed”. It feels like I step aside and let someone else take over but it is more like I am sharing space with an energy so much greater than myself that I bow to it in awe and reverence. This all takes place in what seems to be my energy only so greatly expanded that it is without form or shape.

Last night I did not go to this place. My mind instantly recognized the direction it was going and hesitated. The energy is so BIG, so fantastic and attractive to me, that I want to investigate it, to look closer and analyze it. This curiosity (not fear) pulls me out of it’s embrace when that is exactly where I desire to be.

Part of what is communicated to me by this man/Spirit is that I am over zealous and eager. I need to settled down and relax. Hahaha That is VERY difficult to do!

It’s so weird, but where once I was terrified of this fantastically HUGE energy, now I want nothing more than to be consumed by it. I remember him asking me more than once, “Breathe with me.” And I swear I heard him breathing as if he and I were breathing together….

When it was all said and done, I fell asleep wondering if I was communicating with a Spirit guide, a man who is excellent at telepathy, or the Divine Masculine within me (my HS)? OR just maybe this energy – BEingness – is all of the above rolled up into one?

Whatever is going on, I am not resistant. Maybe that is naive but I don’t feel any fear whatsoever. I am excited and, yes, overly zealous perhaps. The male voice suggested that what I have experienced up to this point is nothing compared to what awaits me. That if I breathe through the intense energy, allow it without focusing on it, then more Divine states await. More expansion. More bliss. And likely that “taken over” experience I have encountered before. And, I believe it is from that expansive space, that the journey really begins.

As for who this voice belongs to, I am not sure yet. I will let you know if it does originate from someone in a body. My past experiences suggest this is a possibility.