Tag Archives: help

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Dream: Doesn’t Want Help

Someone I met long ago when I went to Mt. Shasta, CA has been on FB bemoaning her situation for a few years now. She is apparently homeless, living in Colorado and has been surviving day to day by couch surfing at friends’ houses and, most recently, living in a car (not hers). She often posts pretty negative posts about giving up, how people are cruel and unloving, or how she has no one, etc. Later, she deletes the posts. 

One time I messaged her and did not get a warm reply even though I was trying to be helpful. So, I’ve not reached out again, though I’ve often considered it because it is within my means to help her get back on her feet. Every time I think about helping I get a sense not to, so I don’t.

I’ve not actually even thought about her in a while but the dream I had last night indicates why I keep getting a sense to not reach out to help.

Dream: Doesn’t Want Help

My friend and I met up because I’d reached out to offer her help finding work. She was grateful and repeatedly told me she was ready to find work and get back to a regular life. She was very emotional and spoke effusively, which is her way. 

I took her to meet some people I knew could help her. One was the ex-owner of the business my husband and his brother now own. She knows a lot of people and is good at networking. She introduced my friend to many people, all in businesses related to industry, construction or warehousing. My friend was given a large packet of applications to fill out for various companies. She took it and began immediately filling them out. 

News arrived that an employer had decided to offer her an apprenticeship. This was a very generous offer because my friend had very little work experience or education. My friend was asked to rate a list of five fields of work based upon her interest. After what seemed like a long time, I went to check on her and found she had made little progress. She couldn’t make up her mind and was unsure about what some of the fields entailed. I sat with her to explain what they were and she brightened up when she discovered one was acting/theater. Thinking she had made up her mind, I encouraged her to take it up to the desk so she could start the onboarding process. Again, she hesitated and asked me if I thought perhaps they could just train her on general duties so she could see if it was something she liked or not. I told her I didn’t know if they would agree to that and would find out for her.

I walked outside and it was pouring rain. I had to go across a parking lot to another building and by the time I got there I was soaked. My friend was suppose to meet me there but was late. I called her and she told me she would meet me at the stairs. When I got to them, they were the longest set of stairs I had ever seen and she was way at the top peering down at me. Since she was suppose to come to me, I waited, not wanting to ascend the steep steps.

When she got to me the rain had stopped and we were outside with other employees during their lunch break. I was attempting to convince her to take this opportunity based upon her interests reminding her nothing is set in stone and she could change her mind later. She brought up her work history, which had not been good. She always ended up leaving jobs within a short period, finding them boring or not exactly what she wanted or expected. I suggested she should give a job more time. I said, “Maybe you should examine your ideas and beliefs regarding work?” She gave me a horrified look. I then mentioned one guy I knew who had been an alcoholic and his life nearly destroyed until he took a similar opportunity and turned his life around. By this time she had turned her back on me rudely and walked way down towards the end of the lunch tables. Another employee looked at me and nodded her head in agreement at what I was saying and turned to look at my friend who still had her back to me. The lady told me, “Looks like she doesn’t want help.” 

When I woke up I was confused as to why I had this dream when I had not even been thinking of this person for a while. It was clear, though, that I was being shown this person has placed herself in her position purposefully to learn a life lesson. It is sad but it is what it is.

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The Best of Us is no Better Than the Worst of Us

Sleep has not been my friend lately. Where I had a good month of great sleep, sometimes 10 hours or more, now I am lucky if I get a solid 6-7 hours. It could be due to the environment. In Costa Rica I slept exceptionally well but then I was rarely around people, had no schedule to keep and purposefully did very little. Since returning home I’ve returned to my previous schedule and am again exercising, though not as frequently and only when I feel like it. My encounters with people are much higher here at home and my time in nature limited. So, at night I often find myself staring into the darkness, sometimes for hours, not really finding good, solid sleep until after midnight.

Last night I fell asleep pretty quickly but then woke at 1:30am and found our car gone from the driveway. Realizing my husband had driven somewhere in the middle of the night, I was concerned and tried to call only to discover his phone ringing downstairs. So, I lay awake until I heard him return because I was worried. When he returned I discovered he had gone to the office (lol). My worries abated but my mind was very awake for some time after.

I lay awake thinking of a recent incident mostly.

Since June our company has been dealing with fraudulent checks written against our checking account. We opted to get a system where we upload the checks numbers and amounts and any check that doesn’t match one of these checks/amounts is flagged and has to be approved before it clears the account. It stops the fraud 100% which makes my job so much easier. Well, just this week, one of the fraudulent checks that came through was written by an ex-employee, someone who had worked for the company 9 years and who I’ve known 14 years. He is 72yrs old and recently had double hip replacement. That he would write a $20k check using our company’s account info, printed on checks ordered with our checking info on them, is a shock. Turns out he is well aware, did it knowingly, pushed by a group of people he met online and has since become friendly with. The group pulled him in with sexual content, specifically a young women who he fell in love with. This caused his wife to divorce him, kick him out and subsequently he left his job to move in with the woman. He recently admitted that he gave this group all his personal information to use as they pleased – old check stubs, bank info, addresses, people he knew, etc. When they ask him to write and sign checks, he just does it.

Unable to comprehend this man’s sudden lack of judgement, my mind was pulled towards my sister’s situation and how I similarly am unable to comprehend her decisions. 

I knew before falling asleep that my dreams would align with my thoughts prior to bed. I don’t recall my dreams but when I awoke there was memory of a summary of a night’s-long discussion.

As I woke I heard this: “The best of us is no better than the worst of us and the worst of us is no worse than the best of us.”

Along with this message, I had flashes of various “memories” and Knew how it all fit together as a message. 

Honestly, I was a bit overwhelmed and also very ashamed of myself and my behavior in this life. What I was being told was that our main purpose in this physical experiment is to show love and compassion towards our fellow man. Jesus came to mind – how he taught that everyone is our brother and our sister. He loved everyone equally and unconditionally. The beggar and the leper were shown the same love and compassion as anyone else. If a stranger came knocking, asking for help, food, shelter, clothing and whatever they needed was provided without question or judgment. 

I saw how I withdrew help to my sister because of my judgement of her actions, my supposition of her situation and my overall lack of compassion for her and her family. Her actions and “lack of sane judgement” have been my justification for not helping, when I could – can. 

Of course, I wondered, “Surely I shouldn’t just give her money and whatever she asks for? She would just take advantage as she has proven she will by her past actions. So, if I am to help her, how?” My guidance said this, “Ask her, ‘How can I help you?’. When she answers, pay attention to your immediate response, the one that comes from your heart, not your mind, and offer her that.” I realized right away that she may actually answer by asking me to listen, to be available as her sister and to not judge her!

Then there was memory of a dream. On the 5th of August I woke up crying from a dream, but it didn’t make sense to me. 

In my dream I was being given a $2500 check from a very old, rich woman. I was very grateful but saw she wrote my name as “Dani”. When I tried to ask her to change it, she had left and her assistant told me, “No problem” and then scratched through the name and wrote in the correct one. The old lady came back and said, “I am going to pay all your expenses, too.” She handed me the check – a large, leather bound globe of Earth. I could feel the topography and details on the surface as I looked down at it. Across the top was a very long name written in black ink. The name was so long, it went around the entire circumference of the northern hemisphere. I saw my name a bit lower down, also written in black ink. Beside it was a signature line marked with an X. For some reason I thought the long name on top was of a lawyer and felt the check was a “joint check”, meaning that only when the lawyer gets paid will I get paid. The amount of the check was in the billions. The amount I would be paid after all expenses were paid was $500.

I asked for help on FB but everyone was saying it must be a warning of a class action lawsuit. I knew that was not correct. This morning I recognized why I was sad from the dream. I will not be “paid” until the entire population of Earth is “paid”. The lawyer represents “judgement” or better yet, the scales of justice. I was being shown that for me to escape this place, so must everyone else here. One does not leave without the rest. We are all One. 

This is not the first time I’ve heard: We are all One. Thus, for one to advance/ascend, so must all the others. We are only as advanced/ascended as the least advanced/ascended in the group. We leave no one behind.

The best of us is no better than the worst of us and the worst of us is no worse than the best of us. 

When telling my husband about what I woke Knowing, an analogy came to mind. Imagine a group of people on a tiny lifeboat out in the vast ocean. There is a destination but the only way the boat will make it to that destination is with every person on that boat alive and intact. The thing is, the boat is horribly overcrowded, there are few resources, and the winds are unfavorable. Somehow, though, everyone on the boat must get along and help one another in order to complete the journey. If even one person dies, jumps overboard or pushes others off, the journey will fail. The boat will not be received on the other side unless the original occupants are all accounted for. 

This is our predicament on Earth. Everyone is out for themselves. People are pushing others off the boat, restricting resources, choosing sides, and just generally being selfish and self-interested. The only truly successful life is one where we show love and compassion for our fellow brothers and sisters despite every inclination to do otherwise. 

In my recent review of my old journals I read through a conversation with my guidance. In it I asked if I could “sit out” the “game”. I was told, “Of course you can. It is your choice.” Similarly, the post from 2013 (Tossing Pebbles) repeats that we all have a choice: “It all comes down to you.” I realized that if I sit out the game, which tends to be what I do, then I am not helping anyone, especially myself.

I know that if I were to die today and do a life review, I would be saddened by my lack of love and compassion towards others. 

All of the above was clear to me as I awoke. Of course, I struggle to know how to make changes so that I can be more like Jesus was. It seems easy but so much of my conditioning says, “Protect what is mine. Us versus Them. Survival of the fittest.” Uh-huh, exactly the problem.

Of course, I jump to extreme examples in my mind but the change doesn’t have to be extreme and sudden change. It is simply approaching each moment, each encounter, with, “How can I help?” It is shifting from viewing others as strangers to others as being my brothers and my sisters. And most importantly, listening to my heart and following it. If I do all these things, life will slowly transform into a more loving and compassionate one, and with it so will I.