Tag Archives: kundalini

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Dream: Kundalini Rehab

Merry Christmas! Hope you all enjoyed time with family and friends. I experienced yet again a disconnected from this holiday. All the materialism is getting to me more and more each year that passes. I wanted to go on a family vacation and just skip the entire holiday but that wasn’t to be. So, I participated and focused on watching my children delight in their many gifts. This morning I am tolerating the chaos and disorganization of my household as my kids enjoy playing with their new gifts.

I also got to hang out with my brother who was home on leave from Tallahassee, Florida. He’s been attending technical training through the U.S. Air Force to be a crew chief (mechanic). He works on fighter jets. Pretty awesome, huh? I haven’t seen him since he left for boot camp. When I saw him I was impressed. Not only does he appear more mature (physically and emotionally) but he was very obviously happy. Instead of seeing him as baby brother I saw him as a man. I’m proud of him! He leaves for Phoenix, AZ this week, which is where he will be stationed from now on.

My brother is so cool. He is a natural healer (Reiki 1 attuned), is fascinated by astrology and all things spiritual and has even succeeded in having lucid dreams and OBEs. He has been this way since he was a child and we have always had a special connection.

Anyway, Christmas was good despite my disconnection from the holiday. I have been feeling odd, though. My heart has been flaring up and I have been unable to fall asleep the last couple of days. Then, when I wake I feel strange and somewhat alienated from the world and everyone in it. Yesterday I started crying a few times throughout the day. It was from feeling Homesick.

Dream: Kundalini Rehab

I fell asleep sometime after midnight and it seemed I was dreaming the same dream all night. In the dream I was in L.A. with a group inside a nice hotel room. I knew the members of this group. We all seemed young despite having the wisdom that only experience over many lifetimes brings. I was with a woman and a man I seemed to have a deep soul connection to. In the dream our connection manifested as a romantic involvement but not sexual. The woman was especially familiar and she and I interacted quite a bit. There was also one man who seemed older than the rest of us. He had silver in his hair and he appeared to be the facilitator of our group.

All of us in the group were there because we were addicts. It seemed like we were in a rehab program of some sort. Yet the addiction we had was not to any drug, though it was referred to as a “drug” in the dream. I knew the drug was Kundalini. We were there to learn to cope with the powerful effects of this drug. I remember wanting to leave and asking when I could go. I didn’t want to experience Kundalini anymore and was frustrated by its effects on me and the inability to control them.

There was a part of the dream which was odd. We were all naked and I was spooning with a man but there was no sexual connection there. When it was time to go, I got up and put on my underwear, hiding my nakedness from everyone despite everyone being naked and us all seeming comfortable being around each other that way. I remember asking someone if I should put on fresh underwear and then choosing my old pair anyway. There was a feeling that we had to leave soon and we were all going to stay in touch, some of us were going to leave together. I was to go with the man and woman who I knew. I thought I was to leave at 1:30 to catch a flight home.

The main discussion I recall having then was about the purchase of a plane ticket. I remember saying I had bought a one-way ticket home yet when someone called to confirm my flight, which was to leave at 1:30pm, she was told the flight didn’t exist. I was surprised and asked her to check again using the flight number. No such flight existed but there was a flight that left at 6:00pm. A round-trip ticket. I didn’t want a round-trip ticket and told them I could just drive my car back when I wanted to return. For some reason this was not to be and the round-trip ticket was the one I would take. I was going to have to return.

Message

I woke up at 5:30am still tired and not wanting to wake up. I was not happy about the dream because it left me feeling like I was nowhere near an end to what has been going on in my life. I just want the Kundalini to complete it’s circuit and move on and leave me alone. I blame it for the upheaval in my life. My guidance reminded me to remain in a holding pattern for now, to continue to follow the guidelines they had given me. These guidelines are to meditate, do yoga, eat for my dosha, avoid strenuous exercise and continue to focus on 3D for the time being.

The time period of six months came to mind. This would mean sometime around June/July next year. Interestingly, I have had a couple of OBEs where there is reference to July 4th as my birthday. I had another one recently that I didn’t post. In it I was protesting my birthday, telling everyone they were celebrating too early and July 4th was NOT my birthday. lol This is also the time frame I was given for when I would attain “wholeness”.

Los Angeles

One thing I was thinking of when I woke was that I was in Los Angeles again. I’ve been to L.A. in OBEs and dreams for about a year now. I have very few connections to L.A. I have no desire to live there (had a dream about relocating there) and no desire to even visit the city. In fact, I’ve only been to that city maybe four or five times in my entire life and was not really impressed. lol Yet again I dreamed of L.A. and it was made very obvious to me that I was in the city. In an OBE I was even given a tour of the city and remember wondering what I was doing there to the point of irritation. lol

So this morning I finally asked. What is up with the L.A. theme? The thought came to me to consider what L.A. means: Los Angeles. City of Angels. Okay, so what, right? lol Angels = spirituality, heaven, ascension, enlightenment, etc. It is a destination.

So I looked up the dream symbolism. Los Angeles relates to one’s spiritual quest. It signifies opportunities and the creation of your own success.

So I guess I have another six months at least of this spiritual quest. Makes sense I guess. Why, then, am I not excited about any of it?

Edit: After reading a post by Molly (thank you!) where she mentioned suicide it brought back a part of my dream I had forgotten. One of the members of my group had committed suicide. Whether this is significant or not, who knows, but the memory came with a very serious feeling.

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OBE: Over the Fence

I had a busy night and morning. Seems I’ve passed a milestone, or something like that.

Toward evening I began watching a Netflix series everyone has been talking about. It’s called The OA. It’s just down my ally – NDE’s, astral travel, empathic connections, psychic premonitions, etc. I only watched two episodes and in both I ended up crying. Not because of something in the show but because my guidance began to come through in their silent but unmistakable way. I recovered quickly from the feeling despite it being once again that, “Get ready for change” message I’ve been receiving for some time.

During my nightly meditation I felt the familiar warm energy in my heart. I have missed it so much! My third-eye and root chakras joined in along with the solar plexus. The energy stayed with me for quite some time, following me into sleep.

Kundalini Dream

This will be a shortened version of the experience because it is quite personal in nature.

I was in a car lot discussing the purchase of a new car. I was trading in my old one, a black sedan of some sort. The one I chose was a silver Volkswagen, maybe a Jetta but I’m not sure. I was really pleased and showing a friend of mine. He was distracted, though, and seemed somewhat concerned about something else. I remember saying I had gotten $50k for my trade-in (I wish!! lol).

He stayed with me and we chatted for some time. Eventually the discussion went to a new cell phone I had just gotten. I was playing with it, exploring the apps on it and trying to figure out why the font was so large and funky. I remember the phone had a message something like, “Will you be accepting T-Mobile…” I can’t remember now what it was asking fully, but it had to do with communication. I was talking excitedly about my phone, showing him how it worked and smiling.

Then I was singing a song to him. I don’t remember the melody now, but it was sweet. I said, “All you have to do is let your cards fall where they may…” The memory of the words is also a picture of someone dropping a deck of cards and them slowly falling on the floor. I recall seeing this woman singing but she was also me as the words were coming out of my mouth. It was like she was talking to both of us. I turned and saw my friend had lightened up and was relaxing.

The next thing I remember is lying face up and seeing his face close up to mine. We were nose to nose and he was smiling at me. It felt tender and loving and I was not afraid. He kissed me and I kissed him back. A shock went straight through my heart and then I was filled with a love so powerful that I lost my breath and thought for sure I would pass out. He pulled back and smiled at me. I saw the glimmer of humor in his eyes. He knew exactly how he was affecting me. I didn’t withdraw but just stared back at him, smiling. Then he kissed me again with the same affect. I lingered there, feeling his lips and his energy mingling with mine. It was beautiful.

The heart energy became so intense at this point that it activated my root and third-eye chakras. A full blast of Kundalini began to make its way up toward my heart. The power of it woke me. The energy continued for some time after I woke. I cried slow, happy tears.

In-Between: Conversations with a Friend

It took me a long while to fall back to sleep after that. It wasn’t until around 5:30am that I slipped into the in-between. While there I was talking to someone about a job. I was setting up an appointment for an interview. I was told to call and set the date. There was no phone in my hand yet I remember hearing the phone ringing. At this point I heard my friend David talking as if on the line, like a three-way call. He was excited, telling me how his plane had landed and minutes after it landed an inversion cloud formed right over it. I could see this oval-shaped, white cloud in my mind. It reminded me of a space craft. I remember realizing he was on the line with me when a voice mail picked up. In front of me I saw a computer screen and there was a black box in the upper right hand corner. From it came instructions to leave a message. I never did because I recognized David’s voice and said to him, “How did you get on the line?” I was laughing, though, because he repeated the story about the inversion cloud and was super excited about it.

Realizing my friend was there and I could talk with him, I began to tell him about an in-between experience I had just had (it really happened). I was walking down a hallway and just as I crossed by the opening to the living area I saw a huge group of people all wearing blue jerseys. They cheered as I walked by and I stopped and looked at them. They looked like a football team. I heard then, “Team” very loudly in my head. It made me laugh because I knew this was my team of guides making a joke. Funny guys!

OBE: Over the Fence

David listened as I excitedly told him my story. Then I became distracted. I saw a young girl climbing a wood privacy fence. There was an urge to climb it, too, and I yelled to her, “Hey! I want to climb it with you!” I ran over to her (and OOB) and jumped up and over the fence. She immediately disappeared. I knew I was OOB. I flew to another part of the fence intent on balancing on top. I remembered I had no feet and only needed to float to accomplish this. I skimmed along the top and the dropped down to the grass below.

Then I soared up into the air and took a good look at the place. I was in a suburban neighborhood somewhere. The grass was very green and in the distance I could see the lights of a fairly large city. There were some small hills but overall the terrain was flat and looked like a park. I decided to settle back down to the ground and said aloud, “I want more clarity. I want this to be real.” The scene instantly brightened and became more real just like I requested.

I walked along for a while, talking to myself. It was like I was praying aloud or saying affirmations. I said, “I want peace. I can do this. I will be happy….” I walked next to a large fountain with a fish pond of dark water. I decided to dip my hands into the water. There was some trepidation here because I didn’t know what was under the water’s surface. Yet I pushed myself to dip my hand all the way down and grab whatever was underneath. The water was cold. I felt something and pulled my hand out quickly. It was just old leaves but for some reason it freaked me out because they clung to my hand. I imagined creepy bugs and dead things for a split second and then cleared my mind. I repeated my affirmations. “I can do this. I want peace.” My vision blacked out as I continued to repeat, “I want peace.” My awareness returned to my body.

Considerations

When I woke my heart and third-eye were still active and I felt relaxed, calm, almost peaceful. This is very welcomed considering how I’ve been feeling lately. I recognize the OBE symbolism right away. I flew over a fence. Fences in a dream represent obstacles and feeling “fenced in”. Then I pushed myself to dip my hands into dark water, not knowing what I would find. I did this despite fear bubbling to the surface of my thoughts. What I feared was there was nothing at all like reality, though. My affirmations confirmed my willingness to move past my fears and seek what I want from this life. I can do this.

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Kundalini Dream and Reconstitution

Woke at 5am again and could not remember one dream. I requested to go OOB and heard, “No.” I understood straight away that my energy body wasn’t adequately charged or aligned for an OBE this morning. Disappointed, I asked, “Then can I just get something? Anything? Maybe more Kundalini??” lol I didn’t get a response which to me is the same as, “Maybe” or “Okay.”

Dream: Renting Rooms

I was in a small, older house, with a group of people. There was much activity. I sat in a chair next to a sofa in the living area with several others. The sofa was gold, like from the 1960-70’s. It was very worn in certain places and had a multi-colored crocheted throw draped over the back.

I chatted with someone about a job. The job was similar to a physical trainer but with EMT-type experience. There was a young girl in need of one of these trainers for when she exercised because she had a disability and might pass out mid-exercise. Her disability involved inability to breathe and seizures. What is odd was that it felt like I may need this kind of help – like the girl of the discussion was really me.

I changed the topic to going fishing. I suggested three places. In my mind I could see them. One was a lake, another a pond and another a circular section of a river. I remember saying, “I haven’t gone fishing in a long time. I would really love to go.” It was agreed that we would go but then I couldn’t find my glasses. I searched, finding various other pairs that were not mine. Right when I figured I would give up my search, I decided to look in a drawer. I found them tucked away inside. I remember saying that they were “well worn” and “old”.

I never left the house. The next thing I recall was that rooms were being rented out for the day for various purposes. I watched as two women got keys to a room from an older, dark haired lady. They went inside and locked the door. It was obvious they were lovers and I remember smirking and then wondering if maybe all the rooms were being rented to couples.

I knew I was an employee there, like a caretaker and part of the “crew”. I gathered up dirty, blue bedding and washed it. After seeing the couple go into the room I was a bit grossed out handling the bedding. lol As I was working I saw a very tiny, blonde woman with her small child hiding in the corner. I went over to investigate and she spoke to me in another language. She seemed to be crouching in the corner near the washing machine and I wondered if she was frightened. I also worried about her child. I asked her if she was okay and she ran away, looking behind her frantically. I told her I was worried about her, wouldn’t hurt her and just wanted to make sure she was safe. She kept speaking in another language so I have no idea what she said. She was very small, though, like midget size. She reminded me of a nymph or fairy.

115445-butternutKundalini Dream

Finished there, I went into the kitchen where a man was standing near the sink. I knew him and spoke to him like we were old friends. He was preparing food and I stopped to help him, squeezing in next to him as he stood over the sink. I held a chunk of butternut squash in my hand. The orange color is very vivid and memorable. I was working at getting to the center of the piece in my hand when he gently grabbed my hand and said, “No, eat the whole thing.” I had been about the drop the rind but stopped and put the squash on it and said, “Like this?” I held it up and then put the squash in his mouth for him to taste.

For some reason I reached up and kissed him squarely on the mouth. In the midst of kissing him I was confused by my actions. I was thinking he was not my type at all. He was a very large, burly man with facial hair and I recall that he had an accent – Australian.

He picked me up as we kissed. It surprised me. It was like I weighed nothing. I wrapped my legs around his midsection and we just kept making out. lol It was around this time, though, that my lucidity began to peak and the energetic sensations became noticeable.

My entire chakra system was activated but not sequentially. Instead it was like my chakras were blinking. Some blinked simultaneously. I felt like an energetic polka dot. I could feel all of them but some of them seemed to be in the wrong place, like to the left or right of where they should be or too close to one another. Or maybe I had additional chakras because it sure seemed like there were energy centers all over the place.

I remember talking to the man between kisses but I don’t know what we said now. All I recall now is thinking, “I shouldn’t be doing this.” He whispered to me several times, “You’re so good.” The last time he said it I woke up.

Reconstitution

My entire torso was aching when I woke up, especially my lower back and solar plexus region. The energetic sensations lingered for some time but instead of jumping all over the place it was mainly my mid-section that was buzzing. My neck was stiff like I had slept wrong, but since I was laying on my back I highly doubt that was the reason.

I could feel my guide and asked him, “Why did you look like that? Why were you so large?” He laughed and said, “Was I?” His response caused me to consider that perhaps I saw him that way for a reason. I recalled other K experiences and realized that his largeness represented indulgence and prosperity. The butternut squash was also symbolic. Symbolic of the second chakra.

I wondered about why he said, “You’re so good.” I asked him what he meant. Good at what? Kissing? lol But then I understood. He was responding to my statement. I’m trying to be a “good girl”.

Then I wondered about the strange energy. What is going on? He said, “Reconstitution.” All of my chakras are being reconstituted in preparation for the Kundalini. I remembered how I was warned about the last part of December. I was asked to prepare myself for the K energy, to eat properly, meditate, do yoga, etc. My guide tried to explain what reconstitution meant. He asked me, “What happens when you renovate a kitchen?” I said, “You completely gut it and then replace everything with something new and rearrange the space.” He said, “Yes. That is what is happening to you. You are changing.”

I fell into the in-between somehow and caught myself saying, “But she’s not human.” As I said this, I could see “her”. She was not human. Entirely of another species, likely an E.T. but my memory of what I saw is blurry. Her coloring was blue and there was a pulsating, multi-colored light within that resembled her blood maybe, or something else. I saw these tentacles coming off her and retracted from what I saw. I said it again, “She’s not human.” This is what brought me back to full awareness. What was that?

I thought perhaps I was seeing myself in another form. When I tried to remember her face all I recall seeing was slits, like for breathing maybe? The coloring of the skin was odd and really creeped me out. It was like she was an amphibian. Weird! I wondered if this was what Arcturians looked like? Or was this some other species?

I pushed it out of my mind and tried to return to the in-between. I didn’t but I heard that a reunion was taking place at other levels, in other dimensions. What I experience here is merely a reflection.

 

 

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Dream: Kundalini Formula

I woke at 5am with my mind full of concerns. I had asked for clarity about several issues prior to sleep but when I awoke I had none. So I requested clarity again. Why is it that my root chakra has been missing in my astral experiences? Why am I having so many physical issues related to my lower two chakras? Where is the Kundalini?

Dream: Lemonade

I was a partaking in a study. Each individual was to take one spherical shaped, yellow pill the size of a marble. Throughout the dream they were referred to as “lemonade“. There were instructions given, but I can’t remember them now. I do recall taking one of the pills and it tasting like lemonade, though. The main part I recall is someone holding a long, dark colored, circular cord about two inches wide that didn’t seem connected to anyone or anything. It had been punctured at one point and fluid was pouring out. I was alarmed, asking what could be done about it. The man in charge said that I would need to take five of the pills all at once. I was concerned. What would it do to me? I watched as he showed me. I saw the five pills all enter the energetic system. They appeared as yellow tendrils of energy and went directly to the brain and split into five distinct sections. I could see thoughts coming off, like branches of a tree. I don’t remember now what the thoughts said despite them being written in thin air. However, they appeared to be re-wiring the brain somehow.

Vibrations

I awoke in the midst of very chaotic, jagged vibrations. It felt as if my energy body was being jolted back and forth very rapidly. Additionally, there was a huge bubble of energy expanding from my root chakra. I couldn’t distinguish the root chakra in the energy, though. It felt more like an expansion of indistinct energy. Along with this my heart, third-eye and crown were active, though not as intensely. They felt dull in comparison. I also had pain in my lower back and pelvic region. It was uncomfortable. Just as I began to worry something was very wrong with me, the pain reduced substantially.

Dream: Kundalini Formula

Somehow I returned to sleep. I ended up in a parking lot outside a large mall that had been turned into a school. I searched for a parking place. There were many empty spaces but I wanted one in the shade. I saw several shaded spots but no trees to provide shade. Weird.

I was pushing my car rather than driving it. It’s engine was off and I was slowly putting it in various spots. My car was white, too, and not one I recognized.

I bypassed a spot because it had a baby stroller in it. I finally chose a space close to the front but I had chosen a lot nowhere near the main entrance. Concerned, I began to worry how I would find my way in. A woman and a man were outside with me. I knew them as fellow teachers. The man went inside using his key and the woman stayed with me. I went toward the entrance and found it, going inside. The woman followed me.

I had a red folder with me that I opened to review the contents. I had scribbled information down – dreams, thoughts, etc. Most of it mathematical equations. The page full of equations was titled, “Kundalini”. The woman saw it and asked to see it. I handed it to her, embarrassed that she would see my mathematical incompetence and judge me for my interest in Kundalini. She began to make corrections to the equations. I saw lines of fractions with letters mainly. The top row looked something like 1/a + 1/1 + a/1 + a/a = 1a/1a. She replaced the 1’s in the answer with 8’s. She did corrections on all of the lines, there were at least 7. Each line of fractions had different variables. They followed the page down in sequence: A, B, C, D….  In my discomfort and embarrassment I made excuses for my errors saying, “I’m a social studies teacher.” lol

The woman was impressed, holding the page of equations up and reviewing all of my notes. She asked me, “Can I make a video of this? This is excellent material!” I agreed. Before long there was a holographic screen up in front of me showing the video she created using my equations. I saw an outline image of a person. Then a rush of white light came in through the crown and flushed out the entire chakra system from top to bottom. What was left behind was a white, iridescent, swirling energy in the center where the spine should be. The white light expanded to fill up the energy body almost entirely.

The video shocked me for some reason and I was frozen there not knowing what to think. The woman was ecstatic and asked me if she could distribute the video in her name via the school. I agreed. She asked me to follow her up stairs. I did.

The rest of the dream was of me following her up 7 flights of stairs. Each one I climbed was different. Some longer than others. The sixth flight was the longest and steepest. I thought I would fall down but made it to the top. She was waiting for me at the top of the 7th. The 7th was very short, probably only five steps, but the only way to get to it was to jump because it was not linked to the other stairs by a landing. Instead, it seemed to come out of the wall a good distance above me. She gave me directions on how to jump up to it. I did. What is odd here is that there was a babydoll that spoke to me at this point. I have no idea what it said now but the woman activated it.

Explanation

When I awoke I spoke with my guide who appeared both as a woman and a man. It was odd and when I asked about it I was told, “I am YOU.” Then I was asked,”Are you only a woman?” I understood and said, “No, I am both.” I was told then, “As am I. I am you.”

The Kundalini dream was curious to me. Wasn’t the K energy suppose to go from bottom to top? Why was it shown to be doing the opposite? There was a in-flow of knowingness at this time. There lower two chakras are the current problem. There is a rejection of them and as such there are physical side-effects. I was encouraged to reflect upon the areas of life these chakras relate to. The answer would be seen therein.

I have had a headache ever since waking up.

 

 

 

 

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Lucid Dream: My Everything

This was a post I wrote when I had taken a short reprieve from writing here. I keep being reminded of what I was told in this experience and so looked back in my blog for it. I found I had written it privately and believe it should be shared now. The date of the original post is April 23, 2016. Enjoy!

Lucid Dream: My Everything

I was outside on a veranda of some sort that reminded me of a very large, white gazebo. The setting was somewhere in the deep South. It looked like a plantation estate that I had visited when I was in North Carolina. The sky was clear and a deep blue. There was a slight breeze and the green of the grass and trees indicated it was Spring.

I sat at a long, white table looking out at this beautiful place as I did my homework. On the paper in front of me I was writing numbers. Each number was in the millions. I was counting the places and trying to remember if millions had six zeros or eight. So I was looking back in my text when he arrived.

A man wearing a white dress shirt and black trousers approached from the lawn in front of me. He had come to see me and I looked up at him briefly as I did my homework. I was kind of dismissive and he said, “Oh, excuse me, you are busy. I will come back later.” Then he was walking out onto the lawn and away from me.

I stopped what I was doing and yelled to him, “No. Wait! I want you to come back. Please!” He stopped and turned, looking at me briefly and then walking onto the gazebo to stand next to me.

He said, “Really?” and sounded thoroughly surprised and hopeful. Still facing my homework I said, “Yes, of course.” I reached my left hand behind me and touched his pant leg and then apologized because I worried it would be unacceptable. I pulled myself up via his leg to stand up next to him.

I looked up at him this time and realized he was quite old. His hair was completely gray but thick and unruly. His face was kind but etched with deep wrinkles. The feeling I had was that he was the professor who had been teaching me. I knew him as my teacher. I did not recognize his face, I recognized his energy.

Then I reached up and kissed him on the mouth. The feeling from him was that he was very completely caught off guard by my behavior but that he had wanted me to do exactly what I was doing. My lucidity was full-on by this time and I could feel the kiss in all ways – very real!

I wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me close to him and nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck. I remember thinking, “I love him”. And fell into him, feeling absolutely no resistance.

Heart Bliss Explosion

With this came an intensity of desire that shot into my heart chakra and poured into all of my lower chakras. It was the most exquisite feeling I have ever felt.

I woke up and the energy intensified and poured through me. I did not want to wake up yet even while awake the energy was coursing through my heart and lower chakras. My root and second chakra were especially active but my heart was beyond exploding. The feeling is indescribable. It is passionate and tender and beautiful and all encompassing.

The appearance of the old man confused me. Who was he? My first thought was that I was just going to have these heart-connections with everyone I met now, that I must be a spiritual slut of some kind. lol It sure felt that way. Yet there was the man’s voice in my head and it was the same voice I have always heard – my Companion’s.

I realized that my Companion is my father, my brother, my son, my uncle, my…..you get the point. He is all of them. There was a complete recognition of him in this way, too. He is my everything. With this I saw him as pure, golden energy – swirling and pulsating. A Golden Man.

The energy continued to explode into and out of my chest. He was speaking to me the whole time, asking me to focus on him and what I was feeling and what I remembered of our interaction. I knew he and I had been discussing some things. My life, my hopes and dreams, my spiritual progression, etc. As I recounted what I remembered, I fell into this bliss-gasm and my heart felt ten, no a hundred, times its normal size. And the beautiful feeling, OMG I can’t even describe it.

And I knew he was drawing me towards him, embracing me. I suddenly felt as if I shrunk and became a child-version of myself. I was looking up at him and his appearance was more familiar. His tan skin and long, braided hair was distinct and my recognition of him was complete. I again realized he was everything to me – father, husband, son, uncle, friend, teacher, guide. I knew without a doubt he had always been with me, is with me always and is a part of me. He told me this as well. Communication was a constant. And the love was unlike any I have ever experienced.

Then I realized we were in a hot tub together. I saw him sitting across from me with a big smile on his face. I yelled, “Steven! It IS you!”

I remembered then why he gave me a name he gave me not long ago: Moab. The name meant “ancestor” in Hebrew but also meant “father” and numerous other things. It all made complete sense now. He was my Moab – my everything. My spiritual counterpart.

We discussed then what was going on and what would commence now. The whole time the heart bliss is exploding through my physical body and pouring down my lower chakras. I kept thinking, “Push it up” to keep it out of my lower chakras but at the same time I was receiving permission to allow it to go down – that it was OK to feel pleasure, passion, desire. I felt my crown and third-eye blaze at this time, so I knew the energy was beginning to rise.

I’m not sure how I was able to communicate through it all.

I kept asking for the completion of US; for the energy to complete it’s rise up through my crown and beyond. I was told it was not yet time, that I have work to do on many levels first. My physical counterpart was mentioned in this. Part of my completion is assisting him with his. My Companion also said that We must work on my life, tweak it and this alarmed me. He said, “Baby steps” and I felt the progression would be gradual, the changes gradual so that I would not overreact.

I then recalled a dream I had before meeting him on the gazebo. We were looking at a small Christmas tree. I had just made an ornament and put the name of my middle son on it. The branches were full and I saw that my son already had an ornament on the tree. In this I knew that my middle son was a “gift” to me. I felt such love for my middle son and knew he was also part of me – husband, father, son.…. My children are very, very important to me and to this life and my purpose here.

This is by far the most amazing experience I have had to date.

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Dream and Kundalini

Not even 8 hours into my cleanse in preparation for the full moon and I am already having experiences suggestive of what is to come.

Dream: Water Bubble

I woke up at 4am crying. I wasn’t sobbing but it was enough to get my pillow wet. In the dream I had been flying over a mountain looking down. The people had created new banks for the river and it was snaking around the mountain. I recall asking what would happen when it flooded and was told it would be diverted without causing overflow. The river was beautiful and clear.

Then I was at the river and going into it. I watched as a speed boat jumped the small channel that separated the river and the lake it was going into. There was white sand and the water was sparkling and clear. I followed, walking through the shallow water.

Above me was a ride of some sort. People were getting into these bubbles that were completely filled with water. As the water filled up and covered their noses and mouths, a tube would be inserted into their mouth. It was like a respirator. Then off they would go, their little bubble attached to a metal track above, just like a roller coaster. I watched a young girl get in and I tried to talk to her but she motioned that she could not talk. There was upset here. She was frightened and I was trying to help her not be afraid. I felt her emotions and the feeling of the tube in my throat and the inability to speak despite wanting to.

Then I saw someone I knew. She was in a sour mood and I made a joke to try to make her smile. She got very upset with me, though, and another girl came in to intervene, explaining that I loved her and was only trying to help. For some reason, though, the rejection by this girl was very upsetting to me. I felt powerless to change the situation and make her feel better. I felt guilty for saying anything to her in the first place and making her feel bad. The guilt was overpowering. This is when I woke up in tears.

When I woke I knew the dream was about healing, specifically my throat chakra. I could feel my heart in my throat. The emotion was so intense that it felt stuck in my throat. It was a familiar feeling. Every time I get really upset and cry I have the same feeling in my throat.

I could not go back to sleep and lay there for some time with energy in my heart, crown and throat. I was made aware of things in my life which make me feel like the dream did. At one point I felt I needed to lay on my stomach and returned to sleep.

Lucid to OBE: Kundalini 

I entered into a room I had selected out of many. I felt very tired and so laid down on a mat on the floor, stomach down. As I lay there my lucidity began to increase and I became aware of multiple dreams occurring simultaneously.

In one I was talking to someone about my mom’s gray cat. Back in July I had a dream about him. He was injured badly and walking around with skin peeled off his back and hind legs, blood everywhere. I told my mom about it and about a month later she accidentally ran over the cat. In the dream I was talking about how the cat would come visit me to tell me things. This particular message was that my younger sister and my mom had a misunderstanding about something. At the same time I was sitting next to that sister at three computer monitors. Somehow I had logged onto all three and could not log off. It turned out I was controlling all three from one central area.

There was superimposed over this another scene. I was in the jungle somewhere with a group of people. We heard a strangled sort of hoarse crying out. I felt to avoid it and walked away to safety. Then I realized what the sound was. It was a tiger and I knew that had I gone to investigate it would have surely eaten me.

While witnessing these “dreams”, I heard chanting. It was very calm and very relaxing. I liked it. It was familiar somehow. The sound made my entire body warm and vibrate. That’s when my root chakra began to swirl and intensify. My entire lower back was a swirling mass of warm energy. The energy sparked energy in my heart and I could feel the chakras sync up, almost like they were communicating. It was a wonderful feeling, not at all sexual, but very calming and soothing.

Then I heard what sounded like someone going through a bag. I could feel them touch the right side of my head and my right arm. It was feather light and made me curious. The sound was so audible that I recognized instantly that I was OOB.

At the same time I could feel hands on my lower back. The energy was swirling with such intensity by this time that my awareness peaked. I felt guided to calm down. To “allow”, though I did not hear any words. I could feel a guide nearby and assumed he was the one “touching” me.

Eventually, the chakra sensations brought on full lucidity and I could not just lay there without seeing who it was that was above me on my right. I lifted myself up to have a look, but no one was there. The energetic sensations in my root was so strong by this time that there was no “allowing” on my part, though I did focus on my third-eye to avoid putting too much focus on my root.

Then I heard, “That is enough for now” and I came back to my body fully.

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Geysers of Kundalini

When we were warned the energy would get more and more intense as this year progressed, I really didn’t think anything of it. But this energy intensity is through the roof and has been (for me at least) since the solstice. I am like a walking zombie most days. Lack of sleep, Kundalini energy pouring through me all.day.long, constant downloads of information, feeling a direct link with the universe/my Council/my Team. This is just way over my head (mind). I can’t keep up.

Thankfully, I did get some sleep last night. BUT – hahaha – guess what? Yep. The K visited. Surprise. Surprise. lol I laugh because that’s all I can do. It is kinda funny. My guides are probably all having popcorn, drinking beer and having a good ol’ time watching this movie that is my life. My Dad is probably there laughing so loud no one can hear what’s going on. Hi Dad! lol No one needs to “hear” anything anyway. It’s all visible in my aura of fireworks and firecrackers.

Dream: Geysers

I reported to a new teaching job. When I did, I was talking one-on-one with my supervisor who had black hair and was my age. He was asking me questions. The one I recall was: Do you like football or tennis? I knew he was asking because they probably wanted me to coach, but football? Really? lol I told him I liked tennis and use to play in high school. He wrote it down and then showed me a map of the Middle East. He pointed to Kuwait and then went over to Afghanistan and pointed at it. This confused me but I connected it to the position I was being considered for. It knew somehow the job was to teach history. The first country corresponded to football and the second to tennis (I know, weird!). The map was so vivid, too. It was like each “teacher” was stationed in a country to “teach”. I felt like I was about to be deployed to serve overseas.

He was about to leave when I asked, “Um, do I get my own classroom?” He replied, “We actually don’t know what position we will be putting you in yet.” Then it was like I was lifted up into the air by some unseen force. As I hovered there with someone I was shown a forest. We were just above the treeline and the forest was quite dense. Then I heard and saw multiple geysers erupting all over the forest.

The water from the geysers was powerful and they were exploding all around me. In this instant my root chakra exploded and a powerful surge of energy shot up through my lower chakras. This woke me up instantly and the surge continued. There was no controlling any of it so I just allowed it. Plus, it was quite pleasant anyway. LOL

Energy and Messages

Thankfully, the energy was bearable but it left me quite sexually frustrated. Lately, when the K hits me like this it leaves me feeling all “hot and bothered” as my mom would put it. This is the K everyone knows best. If you had asked me about Kundalini years ago my reply would have been “sexual energy”. I now know this is not completely true, but my most recent encounters with her are proving she does have quite a sexual appetite.

For approximately an hour I lay there unable to shut off the energy and my lower chakras remained lit up. My lower body felt completely hollow. It actually felt like I had no lower body the energy was so enormous there.

Some may wonder if actually having sex would fix this issue. My answer is – no. It would only exacerbate it. Trust me. lol My advice to anyone in the midst of this kind of energy: do nothing; allow. Oh and try to shut off your mind. That is really hard to do.

While waiting patiently for things to settle down, messages were constantly coming in via my crown. No shutting that down and there were so many that it will be hard to recount them all.

I saw a visual of a large, round watermelon whose fruit was almost completely gone. There were only a few remnants remaining and they were being spooned out. I understood this to be symbolic of my root chakra. It was being completely stripped down; emptied of its contents. I don’t really understand the symbolism but it was explained to me that when it was completely empty it would be refilled with “new” material/energy. The new energy would then surge into the above chakras and clean out any remaining residue in the same way.

With this I saw a pyramid with its base at my feet and the tip at my heart chakra. I was shown the energy filling up the pyramid. I heard with this very clearly: Ishtar. I also heard Ashtar. I feel this was purposeful as my dream indicated I was reporting for reassignment and I have had many memories of being on board ships and even meeting Ashtar himself.

Continued Energy Work

I was able to return to sleep (yay!) and fell into a dream in which I was filling a huge, empty swimming pool with water from a garden hose. I got dirty as I hauled the hose to the side of the pool. The pool itself was not made of concrete but of earth and huge chunks of mud were falling off the sides into the pool as I filled it. I remember watering the grass along the side to try and prevent this.

When I woke the energy was still present in my lower chakras and I could feel it move up, then recede. Up, down, up, down. Really weird. My crown was still active – wide open. Two Beings were positioned on either side of me. I was curled on my side at the time and I was told to lay on my back. When I did, I could hear tones in my ears. Right ear first, then left. I had the urge to reply with a vocalized tone, which did. Again, very strange.

Image source: http://www.clockworld.info/MX/photos/8923007/la-presa/

 

 

 

 

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A Taste of Divinity

Exhausted is not the right word for how I feel this morning. Wrung out may fit better. lol

I began to get tired around 8pm but when I finally made it to bed around 9-10pm I felt wide awake. My guidance was right there in my face and close. I felt I should do yoga, so I did, thinking it may help relax me some. It did help with my lower back which has felt somewhat stiff since the Kundalini began to rise, but other than that it didn’t do much.

The minute I rolled on my side to try to sleep the energy began to pummel me. It was hitting me from above, the side, behind me – all directions and sporadically. The minute I closed my eyes my head began to spin and I remember opening them quickly and saying to my guidance, “Whoa! What are you doing to me?!” The vertigo was so intense that I became slightly nauseous from it.

I lay on my back hoping it would settle the energy and it did but my heart began to surge with energy up into my throat area and my head began to buzz with the energy helmet. I could sense my guidance right over the top of my head. I could feel very acutely my energy body and my physical body. This is not something I normally feel when wide awake. It is more common while in the in-between or prior to going OOB.

The energy stream continued to pummel me for hours. It sent me into an ecstatic high and my mind began to fill with all sorts of ideas about how to share my experiences. The urge to share was almost compulsive. I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs to everyone telling them they have no idea what is coming! This wonderful, miraculous power that is US is RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW accessible!

What kind of download was this? I have no clue if it even was a download. When I think back on it and consider what my experience was like, it resembled Kundalini but coming from the top (crown) and going down into my high heart. But then it was not chakra by chakra either, it was all of my upper chakras at once and it was dizzying array of energetic sensations that I have no words to describe. My entire head was engulfed in energy and it snaked down the back of my neck, around the front of my neck and down into my heart. Where the energy hit my throat it felt explosive and alive, thus the urge to yell or sing or express myself right then and there.

But I didn’t. Instead I brainstormed. I need to do another video. Several videos. Soon. I need to express what is inside me somehow, some way.

I didn’t fall asleep until about 1am and only after I pleaded with my guidance to please let me sleep.

No surprise, I woke up with a headache.

I am fascinated by the Kundalini. I am absolutely in love with him/her/it. This experience is spectacularly Divine in every way. And I am told it is just the beginning. This is just a taste of what is to come.

 

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I’ve Been Zapped!

I’ve been up since 4am. Had a Kundalini rising episode again. They are getting more and more overwhelmingly intense. There was no way sleep was coming after this one. Nope.

Dream: LA 

There was a series of dreams prior to this one and even one that seemed to be going on simultaneously. But to avoid confusion I will stick to the one that resulted in the Kundalini rising.

I was inside a room that appeared to be made completely of a metallic type of a material. Everything was gray. Next to me was a small, spiral stair leading up. The whole scene reminded me of the inside of a ship, similar to what the inside of the USS Lexington looked like when I visited.

I was told to wait because the next shift was late, specifically the barber. I said I would wait but I really wanted to leave. It was cramped inside.

While I waited I turned on the computer monitor. It was very large, probably four by five feet. I was clicking on various icons and ended up on a porn site. Horrified, I tried to click out of it but was unable to. Everything I tried took me to more porn! lol What was odd is that the sites contained pictures of various E.T. women. I remember knowing where they were from – Sirius and Lyra specifically. The woman from Lyra looked like she was half feline! I can’t get the image out of my head even now. She looked like she had white fur growing along her spine that resembled a mink coat.

This is when the next shift arrived, the “barber”.Well, it was only one person, a man, and he was completely bald (a bald barber?). He came into the room carrying containers of food and said, “I brought take out” (second dream this week with take out). I knew who he was and was a bit shocked to see him. He came up to me and wrapped his arms around my midsection and kissed me passionately. I remember my entire body catching fire and I pushed him away and said, “Not now.”

There was knowingness that he was my “boyfriend” and he had been away. In the dream there was a time frame here but my memory is confused. It felt like 1 day but then I also swear it had been 15 months.

He then took me on a tour of LA. He showed me a restaurant. People were lined up waiting to get inside. I asked why the fuss and he said it was the location – some major film had been filmed there or around there. I remember thinking it was lame to wait all day in line for food just because of a location.

Next we were on the set of a film watching an actor as he played his role. I was interested but only because I knew his native language was not English. I was congratulated on recognizing this but I acted bored about it. I was still trying to figure out what exactly was going on through all of this. Why was I in LA? Why was I getting a tour? What is going on? lol

My thoughts were interrupted by yet another passionate kiss. Whoa. I became full-on lucid at this point and could feel everything very physically. The kiss knocked me off my feet and I remember sending a thought, “Please stop. I can’t do this.” There was no stopping it, though. It was like a whirlwind of energy rushing up my body that was so exquisite, so seductive, there was no way I could offer up any resistance to it. The entire time I felt myself participating in the kiss but it was like my body had a mind of its own. I was totally incapacitated.  Just when I think it can’t get anymore amazingly blissful, it does.

Of course, I woke myself up. lol Yet the energy continued swirling with fury from my root up to my throat, threatening to engulf me entirely. I think the reason I woke up was I kept holding my breath. Even after I woke up I kept holding my breath. How does one breathe through something like that?

I remembered that I needed to calm down and move the energy up and out of my root. But when I tried to do this, the energy hit my heart with such intensity that I again couldn’t breathe and felt like I would die from ecstasy. But really, can one die from ecstasy? Maybe?? lolol

The entire time I am awake and this energy is overwhelming me, I hear my Companion talking to me. I can’t remember all of what he said now, but I remember he repeated, “Let us help you” more than once. My thought was, “Us?”

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4am and No Sleep for Me

I glanced at my clock and it was just after 4am. I tried to return to sleep but the energy kept surging and my thoughts were not helping. If I even focused on my Companion a tiny bit my heart would explode and then it would all surge up again and make me breathless. And if I tried to recall my dreams the same thing happened. There was no escaping it.

It was also extremely hot in the room. lol

At one point I had calmed enough to feel the heaviness of sleep. I rolled over and settled down only to find my entire head and visual area hit with energy followed by the familiar sensation of hypnagogia. My eyes were closed but I could feel my astral eyes forced open. It was like a blast of energy opened them. In my visual field was an intense bright, white light. I mentally yelled, “No!” Little good that did! hahaha

In that instant I heard from within the center of my head an electrical, almost static buzzing sound. It was coming from directly in front of me and I heard it via my third-eye! WTF? Before I had a chance to think about it there came from this sound a blast of energy that went straight into the center of my head. It was like someone had aimed a laser beam of energy directly into my third-eye. I was zapped! Shocked, I felt my astral body jump. I also heard the zap with my third-eye. I have not heard in this way (internally while awake) in ages and it was through my crown. Never have I heard a noise via my third-eye.

Still in shock I heard my Companion say, “How was that?” He was smirking. NOT funny! Ahhhhh!

Well, there was no way sleep was coming after that. No way in hell. So I tried to relax and allow whatever was to come, to come. My heart was doing all kinds of crazy stuff as was my crown, third-eye, root – you name it, it was ablaze. Even now my heart is sparking up.

Purification Needed

Despite all of the energy flare ups that continued, I found myself pulled into the in-between by a female guide. She told me, “You need to keep your hands washed at all times.” Huh? What? She answered, “Purification ritual. You need to do one.” What an odd request and continually wash my hands? Why? What is odd is I actually felt compelled to wash my hands right then and there. Weird. I also remember now that I had visions of taking a bath when the Kundalini energy began to subside. All I wanted to do was “put out the fire.” lol

I recognized that I needed to research this. It is connected to Hinduism. I was also instructed to fast for an entire day. No food of any kind. Just liquids.

This female guide was very fussy, acting like a mother hen. The space she took me was highly decorated with textiles but very small. There was a feeling of “women only” and there came with this a thought of separating from men during the menstrual cycle. Another odd thing to add to a very eventful morning!

 

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Kundalini Woes

The tiredness continues for me and is starting to get annoying. I am so over tired by the end of the day that things like too much noise or having to focus on someone talking just really annoys me. I feel like my mind and body are totally fried.

It doesn’t help that during sleep my mind is in overdrive. There are so many dreams going on that despite seeming to sleep deeply I wake feeling like I have been working all night long. Which I probably have been. Usually I would take Benadryl to help this issue but I have been advised to avoid it and stick to herbal supplementation. Valerian root can only do so much. I may have to try Melatonin tonight.

On top of endless dreams all night long, I keep being thrown into lucid dreams or OBEs (like yesterday’s) that result in major chakra explosions which wake me up. This is getting really tiring because 1. I don’t want it to happen and 2. it makes all of my lower chakras raw afterward. When I say “chakra explosions”, I don’t mean the Kundalini bliss kind, though they are directly linked to the Kundalini. I would much rather have the Kundalini bliss kind than what I am getting. lol This is very sexual and very out of the norm for me. I think the Kundalini has confused my body, either that or made it hyper-aware.

I suspect what is happening is major alignment work on my lower chakras because of the rawness in them afterward. The feeling is similar to how my body felt after giving birth. If you don’t know what this feels like, well I have nothing else to compare it to. It is like my insides ache all the way up to my diaphragm.

Honestly, right now I feel like I am being pursued by the Kundalini. It is relentless and I am so tired that I can do nothing about it. It is said that the Kundalini has it’s own mind and that resistance is futile. I find this to be true. Though I do not feel I am resisting, apparently a part of me is. This morning’s Kundalini-enforced “fling” is proof of this as I tried to leave and was persuaded to stay. And always I become very lucid, which makes it that much more uncomfortable.

I suspect the heightened lucidity is purposeful as well. It feels like a training exercise. Even in yesterday’s OBE I remember hearing a part of myself talking to me – like there is a part of me, a higher part, instructing me on how to react to this very physical energy. This morning’s dream (which woke me at 4:30 BTW) was similar. As I began to intentionally wake myself up to avoid the encounter I was reminded that I should stay and how to stay (refocus or in this case dampen my lucidity). And I listen to this instruction, which is a surprise to me!

Ultimately, I think these incidents are to prepare me for the next Kundalini event. I often prematurely end the Kundalini episodes. There was only one time the energy was allowed to complete and ever since I have woken up too soon. Either I feel overwhelmed, as in the last one, or I become too lucid too quickly and abort it. I don’t want to do this next time so I think I am practicing with the more physical version of the energy. I am sure many people would be happy to practice like this. Me, not so much. It makes me feel like a sex addict and throughout my day it continues to just nag at me. It makes me hate my body!

Now that I think of it, this rejection of the physical aspect could be why this is happening…..Sigh. Why can’t I just be normal??