Tag Archives: kundalini

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Test Fail

I have been having dreams about tests again.

The night before last I had a dream where I was in a classroom holding a stack of tests. I put my name on the test and was told that it was not time so I erased it. What was weird is that I could see a previously erased name in the same place where I had written my name. The message appears to be that I am either resistant or not ready for the “test” and that this is not uncommon.

Test Fail

Last night I dreamed of being inside a school. The hallways were narrow and brown in color and there were students coming and going. I was walking one way towards class and kept forgetting where I was going. I was also preoccupied with my cell phone because I had turned it on and it had malfunctioned. The malfunction was that there were ten times the number of icons on the screen than normal, most of which I was not familiar with. I could not find the text icon and when I did I got a list of other icons with it. It was very confusing. I showed the phone to a classmate, a tall, dark haired woman sitting by me. She said that I must have spilled something on the phone to cause it and that she could fix it for me. She handed me the phone and it had some moisture on the screen. For some reason her comment insulted me and I told her, “Never mind. I will figure it out for myself”.

In the hall a professor walked by me. He stopped me, waving a packet of paper in my face. He was my height with gray hair and I remember feeling nervous around him. He said, “It’s not looking good” in reference to how I had done so far on the test. He had not yet finished grading it, though.

I went to the classroom of this professor and waited outside the door. While I waited I glimpsed my reflection in a display and saw my hair was shorter than normal. Then I saw a list of classes posted. I began to read them to myself and noticed they were not classes I had ever taken before. The first one was, “Mechanisms of Micromanagement”. I read through the others on the list but cannot remember them all now. I do recall that they all had one thing in common – socialization and communication. I decided I should write the classes down because they were important. As I began writing down the first class I suddenly realized I was late for class. Reluctant to leave the list behind I went to the class and walked in as the professor was beginning to teach. The class was The History of Western Civilization and I had taken it before.

Interpretation

These dreams indicate to me that I am going through some remedial work to prepare me for the next kundalini event. Perhaps I am needing a “review” of lessons previously learned. Considering the resistance I encountered during the most recent kundalni event, I suspect I am being allowed to prepare myself for the upcoming changes. Plus, I am in a period of transition and being it was my heart that was activated this last time the transition may be a bit bumpy.

The phone in the dream indicates communication is coming into play as well. Perhaps I am learning how to communicate my feelings? I have been struggling with communicating emotionally charged topics. Plus, I have a meeting at work on Monday with my supervisor for reasons unknown. Unknown meetings with a supervisor always stress me out and I worry about what I have done wrong. I have had many instances in the past where I have cried in front of supervisors, unable to control my emotion. It makes me feel stupid and weak and I hope that I do not have such an incident again.

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Kundalini Patterns

The benefit of documenting kundalini experiences is that I am starting to see patterns. My last kundalini awakening was not documented so thoroughly and there are huge gaps and missing experiences that made it hard to detect any patterns. I now wish I had been more thorough but then again I did not even know it was kundalini until much later in the game.

Timeline

September 13 – dream about resuming class

September 28 – root chakra activation

October 8 – dream message about four levels

October 14 – dream about pulling teeth

October 21 – message that I have a “time keeper” and healing dreams

October 30 – November 2 – lightening bolt kundalini activity for a week

November 20 – healing experience with guides (Bulletholes post)

November 26 – dream of being at a university to attend school

December 1 – dream of taking a test

December 2 – preparation message giving date of 12/12/14

December 3 – 7th and 8th chakra kundalini activation

December 7 – test preparation dream

December 12 – major kundalini event

December 19 – message that chakras are being aligned

January 15 – dream about graduating

January 18 – guide message that chakras are being reset

February 1 – guide message of being attuned

February 9 – trapped energy symptom of kundalini

February 15 – OBE of teaching

February 23 – major kundalini event

February 25 – tooth alignment dream

February 26 – test dream where I was told not to take the test yet

February 28 – dream of failing a test and going to university

Pattern

The pattern I am seeing is pretty obvious.

Stage 1: There is a dream or a message from my guides indicating that something is about to occur. The most common for me are dreams involving tests and teeth.

Stage 2. Kundalini events come within days or weeks of the dreams. There are often small, specifically targeted kundalini events prior to a big kundalini event.

Stage 3: Period of transition that involves “attunement” and “alignment” following major kundalini event. Symptoms occur based upon chakras affected. Mini kundalini events are establishing new pathways in the body.

It is also very obvious that kundalni is rising from my root to crown at this time although there was a jump from the root chakra to the 7th and 8th chakras immediately prior to the first major kundalini event on December 12th. Why this occurred, I am not sure but I suspect it was to open up communication channels between myself and my team of guides in addition to getting my attention.

The most recent kundalin event centered around my heart chakra. This means that the next one will be in the fifth chakra and from the symptoms and dreams I have been having this transition may already be occurring.

Future

I have had two dreams recently about tests suggesting another major kundalini event is soon to come. I did not post about these test dreams but will soon be adding them in order to document them. Since the dream I most recently had was of me failing a test it could be that the next event will not occur until that test is “passed”. This recent dream also contained symbols about communication suggesting the fifth chakra is next on the list.

I am impressed at how quickly the kundalini is progressing. In a matter of six months I have gone through four chakras.

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Pounding Heart

It has been a rough couple of days.

After I sent healing the night before last I was kept awake by a sick baby who could not breathe from all the snot in his little nose. My mother-in-law came to help at midnight but then I could not settle to sleep. My heart was pounding in my chest like I was running and I felt “off”.

I went downstairs to take a Benadryl and saw three missed calls. This is at 1:30am and so I became worried about my husband who was scheduled to arrive home and should already have been home. I called back the number and it was the airport. She said, “He lost his car”. Hahaha! Within minutes he came through the door. By 2pm I tried to go back to sleep.

Again my heart was pounding and I was uncomfortably hot but my feet were ice cold! I eventually fell asleep but I suspect it was 3am by the time I did.

Skip to last night. After my normal bedtime routine I focused on my body’s energy like I usually do. After a few minutes my heart began to pound again like I was exercising. With it came an anxiousness with no source. I sat more upright and it helped but I was not getting any assistance from my guides. What the heck?

Strange vibrations shot through my chest area and behind my eyes was this strange blotchy light. It was greenish blue amidst the normal black. When I would see the color and feel the vibrations my heart would stop pounding (or maybe it was just not noticeable).

I asked for help and realized I needed to move my energy from top to down. After doing this a few times I found myself forgetting what I was doing in the midst of it. Before long I fell asleep.

Ascension Symptoms Update

  • Sleep disturbances
  • Pounding heart
  • Feeling uncomfortably hot
  • Short-term memory hiccups
  • Vibrations
  • Neck/back stiffness
  • Sensitivity to others energy
  • Heightened psychic/mediumship ability
  • Sweating
  • Ringing in ears
  • Pressure in head/popping in ears
  • Muscle spasms

The most noticeable and uncomfortable issues are the pounding heart, sensitivity to others energy along and heightened psychic/mediumship ability. I am pretty sure the heart pounding is a direct result of energy being trapped in my heart chakra because when I manipulated my own energy it stopped. I also know that the chakra clearing now is my heart chakra. The heightened sensitivity to others and increase in my psychic/mediumship is controllable and has not since been an issue. Thankfully, I am very good at blocking.

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Elohim

Since last night’s kundalini experience I have been feeling odd. The last time I had a jolt of energy like that I spent the entire next day completely unable to get a grip on my thoughts and feeling energetically chaotic to the point that I had to get outside and out of the house all day. I am not experiencing that this time, thankfully, but the entire day I’ve had a pulling feeling in my heart that is not bad but is scaring me. With the feeling comes a message that says things are about to vamp up and I need to get my head out of my (you know) and stop hiding.

I have spent most of the morning trying to avoid confronting the feeling which is connected to last night’s odd resistance to the kundalini energy. But apparently I am not too good at avoiding the unavoidable.

I was suddenly unable to avoid the feeling in my heart and was overpowered by it and at the same time overcome with a wave of calming energy from my left. I heard, “Do not be afraid” from a calm, voice. But, as you might have guessed, just hearing that made me more afraid. I sent my attention in the direction of the voice, hoping for comfort and received yet another calming wave as my heart chakra seemed to triple in size inside my chest. Then I heard, “Elohim” and my stomach dropped about ten feet into the floor. I assumed I had been given a name but hearing it so clearly took me by surprise as did the accompanying feeling of fear. Why am I so afraid?

I have already laid down on the floor about four times so far in hopes of settling my energy. It has helped but as soon as I get up the overpowering sensation in my heart comes back. It is not a bad feeling, though, just scary. What I mean is that it feels exactly like how I feel before getting up in front of an audience to sing, act or present something. It is nerves, plain and simple, and I honestly hate the feeling.

I am hearing more messages but trying not to. I really am not interested in dong this. I stopped it before and I can stop it now, right? Yet what I know and hear says the opposite. The feeling says that more is coming. More experiences like last night. I am heading into new, uncharted territory (for me at least). I hear, “You are ready” and “Let us show you” and am being encouraged to listen to my heart, focus on it and enjoy the feeling rather than fear it.

I am not sure exactly who or what Elohim is. From the brief search I did online (which I promptly stopped because of intense waves of energy and heart chakra activity every time I read something familiar) it appears that Elohim is the name given to the “Gods” by the ancients. They are “the One and the Many”. It also appears that they are “alien” in origin.

I just can’t escape the alien mumbo jumbo can I? No wonder I am so resistant. I really would prefer to stay in my hidey hole please.

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Kundalini Resistance

I couldn’t sleep last night. My baby has been sick and my husband left town on a business trip. I asked for help from my guides and fell asleep around midnight.

Penthouse Suite

I became semi-lucid in a dream. I was being escorted into a nice hotel room. Inside, the room was very bright white. I felt out of place, though, and nervous. As I was settling in, someone brought by dinner, which I wasn’t expecting. I went to check it out and began taking it out of the containers and putting into smaller ones for my daughter. What is odd is that the food wasn’t food, it was water.

I was interrupted by a knock at the door. I answered it and a woman with blonde hair wearing business attire and high heels came in. She was clearly a hotel representative. She told me she came to check on how I was doing. She saw the mess I had made with the sorting as she took me to one side of the room. It was then that I noticed the entire side of the room was floor to ceiling windows that overlooked a city. The woman put her hand on my shoulder and remarked about the view. I stared out at the city lights in awe.

The woman mentioned the food mess and said, “You should have your assistants take care of that”. I was insulted and said, “What? You think I can afford to pay assistants?” The woman smiled and looked at me. The feeling of our discussion was that I was promoted to the next level and needed to focus on my “work” and let my assistants handle the small stuff.

The woman left and I went back to my daughter and the food (water) sorting. At some point I was hit with an odd sensation that in the dream felt like I had been mildly electrocuted. It alarmed me and I assumed it came from the cell phones and instructed my daughter to turn hers off. I also turned off mine.

A man came into the room at this time. He was tall with dark hair wearing a professional looking suit. He picked up the black phone and turned it on. I freaked out and told him, “Don’t do that”. I was in a panic and overcome with an intense fear.

colors dropplet ripples waterKundalini Resistance

I awoke completely immobilized by intense bolts of energy shooting through my body at multiple locations. The energy was not painful but it was not pleasant and I could not shake the sheer panic I was feeling. I knew what was happening – kundalini – but I was not happy about it and completely resistant for some reason.

The energy was coming in from above and to my right, shooting down my body at an angle and exiting my left side. I felt it in multiple places at once – my shoulders, head, mid-section, hips. The sensation was similar to the pain felt when an exposed nerve is lightly touched. It made me grit my teeth and hold my breath.

With these jolts of energy was the strange new vibration I felt the night before. There were also hypnagogic images flashing intensely in my mind. With each flash there was a new image. They were in black and white and pink but I cannot remember what they were now. At the time I just wanted it all to stop.

When the strange energy subsided I asked what had happened and heard, “You resisted. You changed”. The hypnagogic images continued and I sent a thought, “Go away”. I was then shown a vision of me standing at a door. Right above the door knob was a sparkling, golden line of light that spread across the entire room and through me at my heart center. It appeared like golden glitter suspended in the air. Below and above the light was clear air. I didn’t know what to make of the vision. I wondered why the energy was somewhat painful this time. I heard, “Even the calmest of water will sometimes ripple” and saw an image of a placid lake become choppy with small waves. I fell asleep not long after.

Lesson? Resistance is futile.

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Benadryl, Take Me Away!

I took Benadryl last night because I have been sleeping so light and waking so frequently that I have not been getting good quality sleep. I use to take it nightly so I thought, “Why not?”

When I woke this morning I was in such a relaxed state of dream bliss that I could not make myself get out of bed. I slept 12 hours! The first thing I thought of when I awoke was the old Calgon commercials from when I was growing up. It may give away my age but I don’t care. Take a look and walk down memory lane with me. The one I chose is the exact one that popped into my mind when I woke up.

I almost wrote an “Ode to Benadryl” but figured it was a bit too much. 🙂

Odd Dreams and Vibrations

As a result of my deep sleep, I do not remember much of my dreams. I do recall one instance where I was walking along and saw large patches of lush, green clover. The vividness of the scene brought on awareness quickly and as I reached down to touch it I awoke. My body was buzzing with the pleasant energy of reentry but I was not interested in going OOB. I just wanted to sleep and remember nothing.

After several unsuccessful attempts to pull myself out of bed I fell into a vivid dream. I was watching a man and woman in an office space sorting through important papers. The woman was tall, blonde and wore office attire with high heels. There was a strong feeling that they were doing something illegal and trying to get out of there quick with the evidence.

Then a plain clothed officer came into the room. The woman kept her back to him and then turned and greeted him without alarm, as if he were an old buddy. She said something to him about the papers and he responded in kind. She did not resist being arrested. As he put the cuffs on her she said to him, “You came all the way from New York for me?” and then, “A little ol’ gal from Chicago, Illinois?”

I immediately felt an odd sensation that pulled me from the dream. I literally felt like my energy body was being shaken back and forth, from left to right. It was quite intense at first and then as I became more aware of my body and the feeling settled and did not get worse. I was delighted to have these new sensations and said to my guide, “Bring it on!” willing the strange vibrations to intensify. They continued so I checked my heart rate and it was slow and regular. With nothing to worry about I scanned my body top to bottom and noticed the vibrations spread from my heart chakra to my crown and did not exist below my solar plexus area.

“What is this?” I wondered. I heard, “You are changing”. Yeah, tell me something new.

They faded away without incident and I finally got out of bed still wondering why these vibrations were so different. Was it because of the Benadryl?

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2005

I have been reading my journal and am currently in 2005. All I can say is WOW what a crazy, eventful year!

Below you will find my experiences in timeline fashion. The experiences are color coded. Blue is astral projection/OBE, green is a guide encounter experience, red is kundalini. Black is for either ideas/concepts or for experiences that I do not know how to categorize.

January, 2005

29th – While wide awake I heard a voice singing in a foreign language in my head. When I focused on it, I could understand the words. It said:

As the sun turns a deep blood red,

And rivers rise high and flood the land,

The Earth as we know it will begin to fall,

And tears of sorrow you’ll understand.

February, 2005

7th – Astral. Consciously just “walked” out of my body. Heard velcro sound upon exit. I had a teacher who was showing me how to exit when this happened. I asked him “Can I go through the door?” He said, “No”. So I reached out and it was solid so I had to open it. Then I wanted to go outside to my car. I began to think my way there and started spinning real fast. I heard, “No!” and got pulled down. I fell to the floor on my rear. I could feel the cold floor and then became aware of being in two places at once – my bed and on the floor. I could feel my heart pounding in my physical body like I went for a run but I was not in my body, I was sitting by the front door on the floor. I went back to my body and my heart was pounding.

Later discussion with my teacher revealed he was from the Pleiades, He had almost transparent skin and appeared to have webbing between his fingers. There was mention of “Aquatica” and him researching Earth and Earth consciousness. He also warned me about the stress astral projection puts on the physical body.

13th – I was told about the three levels of ascension: transformation of mind, transformation and completion of physical structure and transformation and attainment of spiritual truth (purpose).

March, 2005 – Only lucid dreams this month.

April, 2005

2nd – Guided out of my body by a male guide. Was told to “let go” and when I did I felt free of my body and heard a roaring noise in my ears. I was reminded to “stay focused” several times because I would get overly excited and almost pop back into my body. I couldn’t see but I felt my body moving very, very fast like on a roller coaster. When I did see all I saw was my alarm clock showing 8am and then the numbers started moving forward very fast. I threw open my arms and felt a hand and then grabbed on. I was thrown into a man. I heard a quiet, masculine voice say, “Quite a fine sense you have. The more and more (I finished his sentence) you see, the more and more you will believe. Trust them to know what they see”. He had a U.K. accent and I was about to ask his name but came back into my body.

16th – Spontaneous past life recollection. I relived an incident where I was a little girl of 12 years being gang raped by a bunch of white men (I was a black slave). They held a board over my throat so I couldn’t yell and beat me up pretty badly. I crawled home and was taken care of by my family.

May, 2005

16th – Couldn’t go to sleep after waking up. Heard my guide say, “Go back to sleep”. Closed my eyes and was hit with instant vibrations that were intense over the top of my head and eyes. A picture appears in front of me and I walked into it without even thinking. I came out into a night sky flying and singing. Flew over houses and went into mobile home. Interacted with Hispanic family and then left because it was heavy energy. I climbed into a bed and went to “sleep” and then felt a man. I looked at him and said, “Nick!” He told me, “We were brother and sister in one life – I am Nick you are Grace”. Then I went to a hospital helping sick by giving them energy. I worked with a mother, Barbara, who was having a baby and stayed with her until the baby was born. I then flew by some waterfalls and then saw Nick again and we hugged and talked. I woke up and then when I closed my eyes a screen appeared and I knew I could easily walk through it. I chose to stay. This astral was about 3 hours total length.

19th – Experience of being in two places as I was staring at a TV. screen but not really watching the movie. I felt sucked into the TV. and felt transported to another place. I came back suddenly and with some fear.

25th – Had another experience where I was driving home, feeling very down and wishing I could leave life. I had a very strong pull come from within me that steered the car towards the edge of a bridge I was driving over. I panicked, not sure where this sudden overtaking of my body was. I struggled but managed to keep the car on the road.

June, 2005

3rd – Reading the book Astral Dynamics by Robert Bruce. He talks about the trance state and I am convinced that I have been going into trance frequently and this may be the cause for the bridge episode.

5th – Astral experiences detailed here (not going to write them out). Noted that I am not in real-time but most often in astral.

7th – More astral experiences. Learning how to stay in astral and manipulate objects/speed/location.

energyhealingJuly, 2005

2nd – 1st astral: Entered trance state easily. Saw hypnagogic images, heard buzzing in my ears and a loud WHOOSH sound and I exited my body. Walked through objects easily and enjoyed feeling myself become the objects. I found myself watching a map of the universe and then focused in upon Earth. I saw military operations in the desert. I saw a train carrying a helicopter and war machinery and the terrain was very barren with rocks and boulders. I asked to not be shown these things and so focused upon my body, purposefully moving it to come out of astral.

2nd astral: This was my first conscious projection with one of the methods from Bruce’s book. I felt myself outside my body after trying a technique of rocking my body. I ended up head down staring at the floor and out of my body. I noted that I could not go through objects like last time. I played around, learning to materialize objects. Made money materialize and then my dog joined me and we romped around a while. Then I flew up into the sky and was pulled with such velocity upward that I ended up in space staring down at the Earth. The overwhelm of it brought me back to my body.

5th – Went into trance state while walking on my treadmill and listening to Aboriginal music. I closed my eyes and relaxed into the exercise. Then my eyes went into REM followed by a bright, white light that took over my entire vision. I felt the familiar vibration that signaled I could leave my body. I almost did except I worried what would happen to my body since I was on the treadmill. So I stayed in body and played with the trance state some.

6th – Recognizing the conflict created by Ego resistance and the results: chaotic thoughts, distress, destructive tendencies, “soul split” can occur, confusion, disorientation, paranoia, feelings of insanity. One must choose Ego or the Higher Self. Recognition that one creates their own reality is inherent in this process.

20-30th – Went to U.K. Had several hypnosis sessions. I recalled a life as a Native American. There was a ghost in the house I stayed at that I had to deal with. I had several astral adventures but do not go into all of them. In one I went to San Francisco and another to my old high school.

August, 2005 – Mostly lucid dreams this month, family illness, personal upheaval, sister divorced, decisions on what to do, past issues came up.

21st – Guide encounter. Astral meeting. All senses were present. He spoke to me with accent and said his name was Rostan.

29th – Went to psychiatrist who said my OBEs were “psychotic episodes”. She quickly diagnosed me as Bipolar 2 and kept trying to get me to admit I was drinking alcohol and traumatized (which I wasn’t). She gave me an antipsychotic and antidepressant to take.

30-31st – Medicine is making me feel really off and dizzy. It makes me sleep so deep I don’t dream and makes me feel shaky all the time. I stopped taking it two days later.

September, 2005 Most of this month is lucid dream after lucid dream.

4th – Astral experience where the bed felt to be moving and I was pulled into pictures. When I would come back to my body it would happen again and again. I was also hit with intense energy sensations all over my body but mostly around third eye and top of head. Friend later told me this was kundalini.

October, 2005

11th – I wrote that my dreams have all been very sexual for the past month or so. I had an experience where while I was OOB I was hit with a strong energy in my root chakra. It shot up as if in a wide cylinder and moved up my center through my chakras. It expanded as it moved and filled me with such ecstasy that it brought me back to my body. It continued and I began to cry from the experience of it. It was orgasmic but in a different way and hard to explain.

22nd – I’ve been very depressed since the ecstasy experience. I had a guide encounter in astral. I heard his voice audibly. He gave me instructions on how to return to the “in-between” space where I can talk to him without interference. He said it was “a place where past, present and future existed at the same time”. I did as he instructed and went into the lives of other people (some in great detail). I couldn’t tell what time they were from but was told I would be taught how.

25th – I mention that I have had many astral experiences but they were mostly just me alone doing my thing, so I didn’t write about them. I mention a projection where I was being taught how to control astral better and manipulate it. I was taught how to travel using thought and practiced it and met up with others in astral and spoke with about 5 different people. One was a police officer and one told me, “That’s not allowed here” when I asked her name. It appeared that I was meeting people from present time but I didn’t know why.

Your-Higher-SelfNovember, 2005

3rd – Guide encounter in astral. He appeared to me as moving, brilliant light energy with a bluish hue. I heard him and he had an Australian accent. I saw him mostly as blue light though I could make out features. He moved like water. He told me, “I was your first birthday present”. He said much more to tell me as well but I did not write it all down.
The rest of the month was mainly lucid dreams.

December, 2005

4th – Astral 2 times. I met up with people, ate food and thought, “Wow, things even taste better in astral”. My vision blacked out a lot and I realized it happened anytime I resisted doing what my Higher Self wanted. When I was in black out my guide would remind me to stay focused and then I would return to astral.

13th – Astral. I was recognizing the right energy to exit my body. Was told to create whatever I wanted and I ended up standing next to huge, crystal clear ocean on the beach. I saw a peacock and scared it by accident. It ran into the water, almost drowning. I tried to save it but it made it more afraid. I finally let it alone and it came out of the water.

16th – Astral. Walked into several pictures. Finally, I walked into a picture of a lake. I ended up at a lake that was surrounded by a glass house. I went into the dark, cool water and felt huge relief.

22nd – Massive amount of energy descended on me from above. I was not asleep or meditating – I was wide awake! It filled my entire body and felt like a swarm of bees buzzing inside of me. I felt electric or as if I had been magnetized. I relaxed into it. Then the energy seemed to reach a state of equilibrium and my astral body exited out the top of my head. Yet the buzzing energy stayed with me even OOB. My astral body moved so rapidly I felt like I was on a roller coaster and it scared me a little. When I opened my eyes I was traveling very fast. Neon blue lines and shapes zipped past me at dizzying speeds. So I closed my eyes and continued with the energy. I change direction a few times. When I opened my eyes I was underneath my bed! I then went around my house in astral for a while, exploring, flying, etc.

28th – Astral. I flew over an ocean and saw tropical trees and beaches. I knew I was in Australia. I skimmed the top of the water until I got to the island. There I explored a boardwalk lined with stores. It felt familiar and I was happy to be back. I went into a shop and there, sitting all alone at a table, was my Dad. I was overjoyed! I ran up to him and hugged him tightly. We spoke at length about my sister. He warned me of tough times ahead for her and I recall seeing visions of her sleeping on a sofa and being depressed and sad. He told me I needed to help her. I remember thinking it odd that he came to me to talk to me about my sister but I accepted his visit gratefully.

Note: My sister went through a period of difficult times after this OBE that continues to this day.

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Revelations from my Past

In the summer of 2003 I began writing a journal of my experiences. I did this at the urging of my guides in order to chronicle my spiritual awakening. The journal covers the time frame from 2003-2007. I printed it out and put it into two, three inch binders and have not thought of it much since then. Yet yesterday I thought I should get it out and read. So that is what I did.

I am currently in the Spring of 2004 and have already discovered that I forgot well more than I thought I had!

Kundalini

I have long suspected that what I experienced in from 2003-2007 was kundalini but I wasn’t completely sure of this. I didn’t remember enough of the energy sensations or other symptoms. I am now certain it was kundalini, kundalini that was triggered spontaneously through meditation.

My first experiences with kundalini were generally ignored or passed off as unknown physical issues, panic attacks, mental problems (depression) or something else. I often experienced intense surges of energy that would come into me all at once and then move out. I assumed this energy was that of my guide and thought no more of it. I had chakras turning on and off all the time. I thought it normal – just a part of a spiritual awakening. I oftentimes would become so full of odd energy that I would become thoroughly nervous and anxious and have to escape somewhere to get away. I listened to the people who I associated with, assuming I just needed to “ground and protect” because the energy was either Spirit energy or the sometimes negative and overwhelmingly intense emotions of the people who I came into contact with.

I found an entry I wrote of conversation I had in May 2003 where I was told, point blank, by a person I knew in a chat room, that I was “preparing to ascend”. That was not the first I heard of ascension, either, but for some reason I just didn’t consider it important I guess because I never focus upon it in my journal. So I answered my own question about whether ascension was even known about in 2003. It obviously was, except to me who was oblivious.

Finally, I talk quite a bit about having an overwhelming sexual energy that I cannot avoid that followed me through the rest of the 2003. Not only was I having spontaneous orgasms during sleep, meditation and OBEs but I was also in two very intense relationships, one of which was so difficult to disconnect from that I grieved it for many, many months afterward.

This is what I have found just so far. I suspect I will discover much more as I get further into my journals.

planetsExtraterrestrial Contact

This is where it gets really bizarre, especially for me who shies away from anything E.T.

On September 28, 2003, I wrote down a long conversation I had with my guide. Her name was Leslie and this conversation was prior to my meeting Steven:

When I first began speaking with Leslie, I had many questions about evolution. Who are we? Are we descendants of chimps and apes? Or are we transplanted extraterrestrials left to colonize Earth?……

First of all, we are genetically altered versions of Andromedans and Earth primates. The planet Earth was first used as a source of minerals and other natural resources, a mining planet used for its richness in many minerals and substances depleted on the planet of our origin…..The first people of Earth were not human. They were of an ancestry millions of years old and from many light years away. These beings were very spiritual, are very spiritual, and had an extremely advanced culture of their own on other planets…..When the population of Earth was created, Earth had been through the Jurassic and other evolutionary processes which resulted in the rise of mammals…..The Andromedans saw the potential for Earth as a new colony….Earth gave them the opportunity to refine the species more because the primate, the most sophisticated human-like animal, was a social and emotional creature. These social and emotional qualities were what Andromedans view as a special aspect, a part their own species that had been lost over thousands of years of evolution.

The entry takes two pages, single spaced, so I won’t type the whole thing here. It goes on to say that it took the Andromedans a long time to perfect their genetic modification – lots of trial and error. They ended up only manipulating a few genes and created Homosapien but he was lacking culture, social structure, and norms and values, which took generations of evolution without interference. So they deposited them in pockets around the Earth and left them to “evolve” without interference. The longer humans were left untouched, unguided, the harder it became to interfere in their evolutionary development.

I go on to say:

Now, we humans are in a state of change. Our biology is changing. Evolution is bringing us back to that spiritual center we once had. Our emotions are causing us to feel stagnant. Human biological needs are met through industrialize society. There is no longer the urge to survive as in the past. So, the time has come to awaken the spiritual side. The genes inserted by the Andromedans are now becoming activated. More and more people are experiencing psychic phenomenon. Soon, the Andromedans will visit Earth again to take note of our progression. When they do see we are approaching an age of spiritual enlightenment and telepathic communication, they will make themselves known to us once again. At first there will be more sightings of unusual aircraft and electromagnetic interference. Later, they will actually make contact and reestablish the ties we once had.

Their ultimate goal, and one we should not fear, is to rejoin the human population in order to add the component of emotion into their species. We are what they hope to become. Once we reach that period of spiritual enlightenment and telepathic thought, they will return to complete that goal.

Now, if you are like me, you are likely reading this with disbelief and then thinking, “This is complete B.S.”. Maybe so. I cannot prove any of it, but at the time this information flowed out of me with such ease and clarity that I had no doubt there was truth to it. This was also before I had ever heard of any of the E.T. information on the web. I actually still know very little because every time I try to research it I feel repelled by it. It is also interesting to me that Atlantis was a colony established by the Andromedans.

Pleiades

Fast forward to May, 2004. I have since met Steven and for a time another guide named Amoradon. He tells me he is from the Pleiades and provides me with quite a bit of information which I find fascinating.

Here are some of the things he tells me:

I was discussing spirit guides with Amoradon. He told me that the council is a group of spirit guides who assist Earth Travelers (Steven has always called me an Earth Traveler and his term for a guide is Companion Traveler – I now find this interesting as well).

Me: Does everyone who travels Earth have a council?

Amoradon: No. Only those specified in the Great Plan are allowed to counsel with the council.

Me: What is the Great Plan?

Amoradon: It’s God’s plan for humanity.

Me: Is there only one plan?

Amoradon: Yes.

Me: Are the members of the Council also Earth Travelers?

Amoradon: No. They are those to which we go to seek knowledge here at Home – Pleiadia. They have lived many lives and have had many life lessons learned. To pass on their knowledge is considered a great privilege.

The conversation goes on but doesn’t make much sense to me. He mentions the Council of Pleadia and the Elders and going “beyond God”. He defines “beyond God” as “the planes of existence which surround God. It ‘exists”‘ where God is NOT. We are God, ‘existence’ is the womb of God. God grows, expands, and gives birth to new Gods (us). We are of God and of all other Gods”.

Not long after this conversation, I am taken while OOB to a place that is beyond beautiful and am told it is the Pleiades. I have various visions of my guide wearing an interesting mesh outfit. I get such clarity in my visions that I even draw them in a notebook.

Eventually I become overwhelmed by all of this and ask to not be shown or told anymore about the Pleiades or Andromeda.

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Trapped Energy

I couldn’t sleep last night. My mind was quite active and my body was as well. I could not keep still!

Somehow I managed to drift off to sleep and had an odd, semi-lucid dream about energy work. I awoke from this dream feeling very off and fidgety. It is hard to describe really what I was feeling as I have not ever really felt it before. Yet, I somehow knew what was wrong without knowing how I knew.

Trapped Energy

When I woke up from the semi-lucid dream state I was in, I was overly warm. I won’t say hot but I felt an intensity of energy that was pulsating in different areas on my body. This weird sensation seemed to generate a heat from within that made me very uncomfortable. The heat was not so much physical as it was spiritual, but I did feel warmer than normal.

The odd sensation made me feel the need to move and squirm. I guess I thought it would help but it didn’t. The more I moved, the more uncomfortable I got.

I was suddenly hit with the idea that I needed to focus on the energy and see where it was in my body. When I did this, I felt energy in spots all over my body. I felt it mostly in my lower body and abdomen. What is odd is that the energy would be in a certain spot and then jump to another spot. It was like I had polka dots of energy all over my body and they were lighting up and then going out only to transfer to another spot.

Recognizing that I needed to do something with this strange, haphazard energy, I got up out of bed and sat in a chair. I planted my feet firmly on the ground and focused on sending energy from my crown down into my feet. I did this for quite some time, visualizing a flow of energy down my spine and into the ground. As I did this, the fidgety feeling got less and less. After about five minutes, my eyes began to droop and I felt very relaxed. It had worked!

When I got back into bed I felt the energy was still not settled like it should be. I asked for assistance and felt the need to do Reiki on myself. I placed my hands on my midsection, where most of the energy still lingered, and focused on pulling energy out with one hand and pushing on the energy with the other. I eventually felt I should place one hand, my right one, palm up. When I did this, I felt the energy subside even more.

As this was happening, I felt energy settle over the top of my head around my third eye and up to my crown. I felt like I was wearing an energy helmet. I knew this meant I was receiving healing from my guides. Thank you!

Then the energy in my midsection intensified over my root and second chakras. It was a bit painful in my lower back. I just continued to focus on moving the energy out.

I felt all at once that I needed to focus on bringing energy in from my crown, so I moved my hands to my head. I did this for a little while and then felt I needed to use my hands to push the energy down. So I went over my entire body with my hands in a sweeping motion, pushing the energy down past my knees. I did this about six times.

Finally, I felt the need to move the energy out from both sides of my body. So I started in the center and with the same sweeping motion moved the energy to the side and then down. I did this about three times.

Feeling balanced and calm, I was able to easily fall asleep. I now understand why some people who experience this weird energy feeling find they need to sleep on the floor. I wonder if what I felt was what some people call “vibrations”? I could feel a buzzing within the dots of energy but it was not like the vibrations I get when about to go OOB.

Symptom Update

  • Ringing in ears
  • Popping in ears
  • Skin irritation/dryness
  • Vivid dreams
  • Energy fluctuations
  • Trapped energy
  • Restlessness
  • Moodiness

I have either a ringing or popping in my ears daily now. It is like I am changing altitude when I get the popping and the ringing is very slight, almost unnoticeable. The restlessness has been more intense. Yesterday I went on three walks and I have been feeling more inclined to exercise, feeling it is needed now more than ever. After last night’s weird energy issue, I can see why I was drawn to be outside so much that day.

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Information Transfer

I almost forgot something very important that happened this morning.

Information Transfer

A little bit of background first. Last night, prior to going to sleep, I began to wonder about what was to come next. I again asked to be shown and given more detail about what exactly I am suppose to be doing right now. I also asked for healing because my collar bone on the right has been catching and becoming quite painful. My guide responded to the first question by telling me, “There is more information, information you have yet to process”. I did not question this as it appeared so obvious. Then he said to the latter request, “Done”.

At some point, during an in-between state that I often find myself in, I became aware that I was doing something odd. I don’t recall exactly when this was during the night but I recall it quite vividly. I will try to describe it the best I can.

I became aware of reaching up above my head into “space” and pulling down energy. I could see my glowing yellow astral hands and astral arms reaching up, grabbing the energy and pulling it down. I then placed this energy inside my energy body, specifically at my crown. I don’t recall there being specific information in this process, only that the energy had density and light and color. The color of this energy was dark, almost black but it was surrounded by light and when it came into my energy body it was absorbed quickly and the dense darkness evaporated.

I completed one cycle of taking energy and integrating it into my own and then went on to another. It was like I was taking bites of food, putting them into my mouth and slowly chewing on them. Bite after bite after bite. I don’t know how many times I did it but eventually my consciousness became too much and I “woke up” suddenly within an energy transfer, astral eyes wide and mind wondering what was going on.

In awe, I looked above at the space where I was getting these dense, dark energy balls. It appeared to be four or five feet directly above my head. I sensed a presence above me as well. It was also dark and hard to make out. I could tell it had human features and was much taller than a human.

My first thought was that I was in communication with something not of this universe. I immediately shut down that thought because it seemed ridiculous. Plus, I didn’t want to fall victim to the extraterrestrial hype that is plastered all over the internet.

But what was it? And what was I doing?

The only explanation I have come up with relates back to what my guide told me prior to sleep:  “There is more information, information you have yet to process”. I suspect that this exchange was more than just energy, it was information. I was slowly taking it in and integrating it. I wish, though, that I remembered more. I guess I will add it to my list of unknowns.