Tag Archives: kundalini

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Ascension Symptom Update

For the second half of the day I have been feeling nudged to write an update on the symptoms I have been having since my most recent kundalini experience.

  • Vision fluctuations, specifically my left eye feels very obviously dominant over my right
  • Vision “shifts”; vision appears to freeze frame (this happens mostly at night)
  • Tingling and warmth in my feet
  • One clogged nostril, each night the opposite one will be clogged for no apparent reason at around the same time each night
  • Extremely high energy
  • Intermittent buzzing in heart chakra and third eye chakra
  • Interrupted sleep; when I wake up I feel rested and ready for the day even if I have only had a few hours of sleep
  • Change in breathing/breath; I breathe deeper and slower
  • Heart rhythm changes
  • Increased body temperature, especially in the morning
  • Profuse sweating, especially in the morning
  • Attraction to specific smells, ie. patchouli oil, frankincense, and cinnamon

In addition to these symptoms I was asked to examine certain aspects of my life:

  • Physical exercise – change type and frequency
  • Harmful toxins – reduce or eliminate completely
  • Relationships  – examine them using the heart rather than the mind
  • Compassion – develop more for self and others
  • Fear – question fear-based life patterns
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From OBE to Life

Today, after struggling horribly this morning with a most unsettling energy that made me shiver all over from the intensity of it, I followed the advice of my guide and left the house and the computer behind. While in my car the energy was hitting my head and my whole body was near convulsions as I tried to drive. I hit a stop light and had to calm myself as the thought hit me that I may pass out. I even began to sense the darkness entering my vision from the sides. I remembered to breathe and focus on my heart and by the time I reached my destination I was feeling better.

I spent the entire day out and about, most of it outside. I even took a walk with my husband and went to the playground with my children. As the day progressed I found myself noticing people that I normally would not notice. There was a man in the grocery store having a conversation on a cell phone. I couldn’t help but overhear what he was saying. He was from out of town and had no money, his debit card was broken and he could not reach his sister to get help. I passed him several times and wanted to stop and ask him, “How can I help?” There was an urge to do this but I resisted, thinking, “What if he is lying?” or “He will find help”. I did not end up talking to him and left the store without seeing him again. I now wish I had at least tried to help him.

Later, as I was stopped at a stop light, I saw a man with a sign asking for money. This is common where I live and I normally don’t take much notice. Yet for some reason I kept thinking, “I could give him some money” and wanted to. The more I looked at him, the more I tuned into his energy and felt compassion for him. I knew he was not normally one to ask for handouts.

The light changed and my chance was lost but the feeling of compassion remained.

On my way home I saw more homeless on the other corner. I felt bad for them as well and wondered about them. I even imagined yelling out to them from across the busy road but then decided against it for fear one would put themselves in harms way. Also, their energy was more muddled than the man I saw previously and I knew they would not appreciate my help.

homelessNudges

I did not have time to really contemplate much of anything all day, yet little tidbits of information did not wholly go unnoticed. I kept returning to my computer feeling I should write at least something of my experiences but the urge was never there. My mind was totally blank.

I decided to do some yoga and relax some and then again sat at the computer. I kept reading and re-reading the other post I wrote today as if I trying to not forget it. In the midst of reading over another one of my posts from earlier this year a thought hit me, a memory of a cognition I had earlier in the day. I thought, “I need to write about that”.

And here I am, writing and my mind is not clouded or muddled.

This morning after I got the message to leave (and I felt it urgently), I was preparing to leave the house. I felt hungry and instantly knew I needed to eat and felt led to the fridge to make myself a protein smoothie. I remember feeling consciously pushed in this direction and I did not resist.

This same nudging continued throughout the day. I called my husband out of the blue (nudge, nudge) and invited him for lunch. I told him I wanted to talk to him about what was going on with me. I remember thinking to myself, “I do?”

When we sat down, I had no idea what I wanted to say. We sat outside (which is out of character for me) and I listened to him, completely without any other thought than to hear what he had to say. When he finished I effortlessly told him what I wanted to tell him. It came out so well, without a glitch and I said something very out of character. My husband, of course, was pleased and I was speechless. When he asked me about it I told him, “I came here not knowing what I would say and then I just said all that”.

It was not that I didn’t want to say what I said. I did. What is odd here is that, normally, I have trouble hearing my husband as he talks about his work which is very boring to me. This time I was thinking of nothing but what he said. I had not one moment of anxiety caused by thinking ahead.

And I recognized that I spent the entire day –  in the moment!

Later, a thought hit me out of the blue and I nearly forgot about it except that it came back to me, as if I had put all this day’s events together somehow without consciously thinking about it.

I realized that these urges I have been receiving, I have gotten over and over again while OOB. Sometimes I go with the “suggestions” and other times I don’t. What has been occurring most recently in my OBEs is that when I do not follow the suggestions I pop back into my body. I lose that which I most want – to be OOB – because I do not listen.

And that is when it hit me: Perhaps that is what has been going on my entire life. I have not been listening and have missed that which I really wanted, to be happy and at peace, because I didn’t listen.

I know it seems small to those of you who consistently listen to your Higher Self, but to me this is HUGE. I am stubborn and I do not like to feel “controlled”. I have been getting messages for as long as I can remember from my guide to “listen”. I never really understood until today.

I listened (for the most part anyway) and my day was good. Pleasant. Positive. Balanced. I was more in the moment than I have ever been. My mind was not a mess of thoughts.

So there is a positive to all this kundalini and based just upon today I can’t wait to see what other positives come of it. And I hear my guide say to me, “Imagine that every day was like today and that is what you will have tenfold”.

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New Direction

Since my experience on the 12th I have been processing the changes that resulted. I cannot put into words what happened/is happening. It is just a process that has a definite end result. The in-between period, the time of reorganization, has begun. How long it will last, I do not know for sure, but I do know that it will last as long as it takes for me to come back into balance.

Too Many Thoughts

I find my thoughts being pulled in many different directions. I am struggling to find time to direct those thoughts and I want badly to do so because they are not going away. I feel drawn more than ever to put my thoughts into words but when I try to organize them in a presentable way, I cannot. For me, this is a conundrum. I am, by nature, very good at organizing my thoughts into easily understandable sentences and paragraphs that flow together in a easy-to-read fashion. This comes from years of schooling and essay writing. Yet I feel split into so many different directions, the ideas piling up on top of one another and threatening to overwhelm me.

I am near tears writing this because I cannot seem to get myself to focus on any one thing for very long. When I try I feel like my head is going to explode in frustration as I struggle to form my thoughts. What is happening to me!?

I see this as an energy adjustment from head to toe with each layer of my aura being affected. There is white light radiating downward and all kinds of colors intermingled, the most prominent of these colors is blue, lavender, pink, and fuchsia. I am not sure how kundalini usually works or if there is a “usual” way, but from what I am shown, my kundalini is coming into my center from both directions, above and below. I am told this disrupts more than just my energy. I guess my thoughts are being affected as well?

This in effect is the “rewiring” I have seen so often written about online and in channeled messages and such. I finally understand it. I am being told to be patient with myself and being reassured that the thoughts and ideas I am trying to get a handle on will not “disappear” but will be available to me at the time they are meant to be shared.

Symptoms

And so I give up on trying to control this as it is obvious I am to become a passenger in this car down the road to awakening. I am a horrible backseat driver (ask my poor husband) so this will be a challenge. However, if my Higher Self is anything like me, he/she will not be one to give in to my complaints and whining. Thankfully I have a feeling he/she is much more compassionate and understanding than I typically am.

I am being urged to present my symptoms to you all and since these thoughts are the ones that are easily accessible and clear in my mind, I will submit to them and the guidance of my Higher Self.

  • Headache the comes and goes
  • Lower back pain
  • Increased thirst
  • Increased hunger
  • Increased energy fluctuations
  • Sweating
  • Sporadic energy “bursts” from heart, third chakra and head
  • Sporadic “lightening” bolts of energy from bottom and top of body
  • Increased desire to lay on my stomach when sleeping
  • Inability to sleep with another person (going on for 2 years now)
  • High energy
  • Periods of deep, dreamless sleep
  • Increased instances of OBEs, visions and other phenomenon
  • Vision fluctuations
  • Increased perceptivity
  • Sensitivity to food, drugs, alcohol
  • Disorganized thoughts; confusion
  • Spontaneous instances of physical body detoxification which results in illness, digestive changes, metabolism fluctuations
  • Sudden mood swings

_74219715_changeNew Direction

And again the word “conundrum” comes into my mind. This word is not a usual one for me which brings me to suspect that part of the changes occurring is a rewiring of my brain. It means, “A confusing or difficult problem or situation”. And I had to look it up because, well, I am a mommy now not a college student. Anyway, it is so very perfect a word to describe my situation. It is confusing! But this is a confusion beyond anything I have ever experienced. If I weren’t sure this is the direct result of my spiritual awakening/ascension I would surely be considering seeking professional help!

And I remember I have been here before. Years ago during my first attempt at this transformation (the one I stopped), I recall feeling similarly and it causing me to be certain I was very much indeed going insane. I was so thoroughly convinced of this fact that I went to a psychiatrist who promptly diagnosed me as Bipolar II. Ha! I even took the nasty little anti-psychotic drug she prescribed. I only lasted four days on it because I knew it was NOT right and I was NOT crazy. In actuality, the drug was making me feel crazier! Anyway, I have been here before and I am being guided/told “the only way out is through”.

This new direction, this uncharted territory, is what I am afraid of. I can feel the fear in my third chakra as it rises in me at the very thought of allowing my Higher Self to take charge. I am being asked to step back. Me. The one who has been in control (or the illusion thereof) of this body, mind and life for 38 years! How dare he/she! Yet I am so not resistant, believe-it-or-not. I am ready for this. But I am afraid. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid that I will go crazy. Afraid that I will get lost somewhere in the confusion of my thoughts and never find my way back.

This new direction is literally to give over access of my thoughts to my Higher Self. So far I am understanding this to mean that whenever I am faced with the feeling of confusion that rises in intensity whenever I focus on the many thoughts floating haphazardly through my mind, I am to immediately focus upon my heart and be still. When I do this, the confusion dissipates and there is calm. And when I do this a thought stream appears that is coherent and clearly separate.

As I try to process this I feel the fear rising and I suppress it, swallowing hard. I want to freak out and think, think, think it to death, but I can’t. It is like someone has put a tourniquet on my mind. The only thought that comes through is to focus on my heart, listen and trust. When I do that, my head and heart both buzz with energy. My head almost feels as if I will pass out the energy is so intense.

And I have an urge to get out. Out of the house and outside. Live life. Focus on life, even if it is boring and mundane. This is where I will find balance. And I need that right now.

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Earth, Fire, Air and Water

I can’t sleep and feel I need to write this so here I go.

The 12/12 “activation” or portal or whatever it is called is real. At least for me, anyway.

There are no words to really describe what is happening to me as I type this. I am still not sure even what is happening but I know it is good. I also know that what my guide told me is true: I cannot stop it.

Earth, Fire, Air and Water

In my dream I was speaking with others, several others, at least four. I don’t recall the conversation now, but I remember some parts of it. 1. I was voicing my concern about not knowing how to handle an energy exchange that was going on, at least it feels like we were discussing energy. 2. The energy exchange had to do with the elements. 3. Others were helping and the message was that I needed to communicate with the elements of this energy.

What I recall most vividly is talking to an “element” who was very obviously masculine, yet at the same time I did not feel particularly feminine. I could see the communication in my mind, typed out. When I responded it was also typed out. This went on for some time within a “void”. It was as if I were floating in this void but I do not recall feeling as if I were floating. The words elude me now, but I do remember reaching out to this masculine energy and speaking to him about the elements. I believe, though I don’t remember exactly, that I was trying to blend “water” with “fire” but then “earth” was also discussed so I am at a loss as to which element exactly I was portraying and which one the masculine presence was portraying.

When it was decided that I would go through with whatever I was doing (energy work?) I felt myself very much to be laying down with my back to this masculine energy. I felt him/it (the energy) gingerly reach out to me and wrap around me from behind. It was like a hug, but nothing like any hug I have ever known. What is very important here is that this energy was patient, understanding and deeply connected to me. He was approaching me tentatively and with such care that I felt completely and utterly open and trusting towards him. I surrendered to him and the energy intensified, filling me to my core and exploding out my midsection.

I awoke in this energy very rigid, my body feeling contorted and stiff as the energy seemed to skewer me at an angle. It entered from below my root and shot up through my center. It did not hurt but it was odd and I could not get a grasp on my feelings. In fact, I had such odd feelings that I do not know how to describe them except to say that they were muted and confused. I felt I should cry, but I had no tears and no welling up of emotion. I felt I should cry out in ecstasy, but there was no ecstasy to be felt. My mind was awake but I could not think. It was like I was frozen.

My guide was near and he seemed to be the source of this odd calm or frozen emotional feeling I was having. The gentleness with which he handled me is beyond words. I tried to understand what was going on, but all he would say was, “You are changing”. I understood this to be true but I didn’t know why, or how.

I focused on the energy because it was still very much alive within me. It felt to me to be writhing and moving around in a zigzag or winding pattern. It moved upward and I held my breath anticipating it hitting my heart chakra, but it never did. My guide said, “It is fear”, but I felt no fear. How can you have fear but not feel it??

I then became very uncomfortably aware that I needed to pee. I also felt my upper back arching and I could not relax it. My head began to throb dully and I could feel my higher chakras shooting energy upward, but like all of the energy, it was gentle and no emotion came of it. I literally felt like my body was a channel of energy and I was just its confused, observing participant.

I eventually got up and the energy continued. After I used the restroom and satiated my thirst I became horribly hungry. I tried to return to sleep but had to eat. So I went down to eat.

Knowing

I checked the time and it was 12:50am. I had been awake for some time and suspected the beginning of this event occurred right after midnight. On 12/12. 12/12/14. I guess the message was true. But what of the veil that was to lift? I didn’t/don’t understand the message’s significance. Yet.

I attempted to sleep but so many questions flooded my mind (along with the energy that even now is lingering). My guide asked me to answer them from within and I suddenly knew the answers and the calm in the knowingness with them is beyond words.

I knew/was told my path, my purpose on Earth, was soon to be revealed to me. I knew it involved helping others who were both here and those that were not yet here. It is hard to put into words what I knew./know but it is as if my job is to be a channel between worlds, a conduit allowing consciousness to flow unhindered in both directions. If I could draw a picture it would be of me, my body, floating as if laying sideways on my side, with energy coursing through me. The energy has no exit and no entrance, it just is. Like a lightening bolt, it shoots through my center and pours out of me in all directions. I am immobilized and my body is not mine, it is a tool I use to do my work.

I am aware of much above, behind and all around me. It is consciousness and it is ever expansive. I feel those who are that consciousness, waiting. They are all one now, but will not remain that way. They are waiting. They are waiting. They are waiting. It keeps repeating and it makes me want to burst out in tears that are filled with every emotion imaginable.

And I still hear my guide say, “You are afraid”, and I understand. I am afraid but it is of something I do not quite understand yet. It is immense and I feel the burden of it, but I cannot express the feeling. It sits in my core and the energy fills it and explodes outward.

I don’t think there are words for what is happening. If there were, I for sure would know them.

And I hear my guide, my most beloved, patient, caring, nurturing and loving Higher Self, say, “Yes. It will continue” when I wonder if I will ever fall back to sleep. I know I will, but I have to write this first.

I thought of calling a friend who is likely fast asleep, hundreds of miles away with her family all around her. I do not want to burden her with….what? I do not even know. I call out to her with my soul and I feel connections to others I know but have never met. Some on FB some I have yet to meet. Who are they? I know them but I do not remember them.

Kundalini

It is irrevocable what is happening to me. There is nothing I can do but I am not resistant. I know the energy is best termed “kundalini” and I am now a believer that the serpent resides within me and is coiling, twisting and pushing its way upward to the light above. I am the light and the serpent is reaching toward me. I can feel the energy from above pushing downward as much as I feel the energy below coursing upward. When they meet there will be union and I am almost there. If I could just get past my fear.

My guide tells me, “You are clear”, but I wonder if I am only clear in one chakra as I can feel the blockage in the dullness of the energy shooting out of my second and third chakras. Thankfully it is not painful and I am pleased at that, though I know if I push too hard, rush what is happening, that I could be in agony. Not just a physical agony but a mental one as well.

It is true that this must progress slowly. That the process must not be altered but allowed to go on unhindered. But then again I cannot stop it now can I?

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Rejecting Desire

The night before last, my guide asked me, “Why are you here?” I replied, “To help”. He then asked, “Who?” and I replied, “The Many”. He repeated his question. I thought about it and began to list off names. At first I was uncertain, but as I listed them I began to remember people from my past and included people from my present. They were not all family members, but this didn’t surprise me.

He then asked me if I believed helping people was only done though positive interactions with them. I thought about it. I recognized that the answer was, “No”. Again, I did not think about it too much but just accepted the answer as fact. I knew I had negative experiences and interactions with people in my life and it made sense that perhaps my “helping” them was through negative interactions.

New School

I fell asleep after the conversation and had an interesting dream. The dream began with me riding in a car along a very dark street in a city. I was not driving. It was raining and I remember feeling uncomfortable. I came to an intersection and saw a classmate of mine in her SUV waiting at the light. I looked and she was asleep. I remember yelling out, “Look at her! She’s asleep! Why isn’t she awake?”

My car continued through the intersection and I remember seeing a woman with dark brown hair. She took my hand and walked me up to a school. It had stopped raining but the sky was still overcast.

The school was very obviously an elementary school and it appeared to be an older one, perhaps built in the 1970s. She led me into the building and I looked down and saw golden colored carpeting. I looked around and saw dark wood trim and a very nice, clean space that was also painted a golden color. It appeared to be the cafeteria but it was divided into sections for the different grade levels. I noticed staff members standing around the edges and a speaker, the principal, at the front.

I leaned against one of the walls that separated the space as the principal spoke to the staff and students. I listened as he gave a history of the school but I do not remember it now. I was noting how few students there were. This was a small school! There were maybe 20 children in each of the sections and I noted three sections, two at the bottom and one at the top. They were seated at tables like in a cafeteria but they weren’t eating. The room was being used as an assembly room at that time.

A man passed by me and looked at me curiously. He was wearing cowboy boots and jeans and looked a lot like my mother’s husband, with long, brown and graying hair that was thinning on top. He smiled at me and I felt uncomfortable and briefly worried he was coming onto me. I did not want that and shrank back from him. I felt very out of place and uncomfortable.

The principal paused and then introduced the woman who walked me into the school. A little girl came up next to me to stand for a minute and asked me a question. I did not know how to answer her and was saved by the woman who came with me who told the girl to go sit down. She then walked up and began to speak.

I knew the woman who brought me was associated with a benefactor to the school and she mentioned his contribution to the school and also mentioned how very well adapted the school had become. This had saved them money in heating and cooling, she said. She then pointed me out to the group and introduced me as new staff at another school, calling me “Indy”. I smiled and thought to myself, “I like that name”. I looked down at a red folder in front of me and saw my name written on the top – but it was not my real name. It said, “Indiana”. I remember again liking the name, especially the nickname – Indy. When I read the last name I do not remember it fully but I swear it said, “Jones” as in “Indiana Jones”!

Interpretation

My interpretation of the dream is that I was being introduced to some individuals I would be “helping” and they belonged to a newer group of Souls than my own group. I was a “teacher” or similar to them. I may not be fully comfortable with this position, as indicated with my feeling uneasy and out of place.

The part where I remarked how an ex-classmate of mine was “asleep” at the wheel stood out very strongly in my dream. I believe this part of my dream was me recognizing how people often sleep through life, as if on automatic pilot. This particular classmate was one I really disliked in school and continue to not like. Perhaps I was recognizing that she was not aware of being this way.

The interesting part is where I am called by the name Indy and see the full name – Indiana Jones – written on a red folder. I like the name and seem to accept it. I remember very clearly, “I LIKE that name”. Even now, the name Indy is appealing to me for some reason! However, the name Indiana Jones is very much linked to the movies by that name. I use to love watching those movies! They were full of adventure, romance and mystery.

It was brought to my attention that perhaps I am about to embark on an adventure. The red folder may be symbolic of the root chakra or sexual energy and desire. Because my new name was written on the folder, could it be that this “new” adventure is linked to sexual desire?

Rejecting Desire

I did not mention it, but when I woke from this dream I was very uncomfortable with the part about the man looking at me. This is what stuck with me when I woke up and I became a bit panicked over it. Out of the blue I began to remember how it felt to desire someone, not just in a sexual way but be completely drawn to them. I pushed the memory away because it came with a feeling or knowing that I might be feeling this again. I think the fear came because I worry this person will not be my husband. I completely rejected the feeling/knowing because I do not want that to happen!

After spending time writing out the dream and looking at the symbolism behind it, I began to remember other dreams. These dreams I have written about in my blog before. In them I am either telling someone I cannot be with them because I am married and/or feeling huge amounts of guilt for cheating on my husband (which I have never done). My husband admits to having similar dreams.

Then it occurred to me that perhaps my Higher Self is trying to tell me something. Perhaps I am rejecting what I am being told because I do not want to confront it. And then I realized the dream and this adventure could be a warning of things to come.

When I considered the possibility I wondered if it was a warning. Upon realizing this was very likely, I asked, “When?” and heard “November”. All at one my stomach flip flopped and my heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. I couldn’t get the feeling in my heart to go away and even now I am struggling to control it. It is a beautiful, wonderful feeling! It makes it hard to breathe, in a good way. It isn’t at all sexual. It is like a part of me is overjoyed and exploding with love. Yet I reject the feeling because I shouldn’t be feeling it. And when I stop to try and get control of myself I get covered in psychic chills and goose bumps which only makes it that much harder to reject the feeling.

And what does it all mean to me? What is the truth? That something is about to happen and I need to be ready to handle it? A part of me worries I will meet a man. I don’t want to meet anyone! Yet the feeling I get says to me that it is good, wonderful, amazingly fantastic. If you could feel the explosion in my heart right now you would understand.

I don’t want any upheaval in my life or my children’s lives. I want stability. I do not want to upset the balance. I do not want my family to go through divorce or separation or anything of the sort.

I am hoping that I am overreacting. That all of this is just a clearing of my chakras and something at a subconscious level was released. We’ll see I guess.

After Calming Down

All this overwhelming emotion and energy happened yesterday. It has not since returned, though I miss the wonderful feeling and do want it back. I have had many conversations with my guide since then. I recognize that I have a choice and that my Ego is overreacting, as is the norm. I also recognize that I created this, even though I have no obvious conscious memory of it.

I have been asking for help and healing. My second chakra has been blocked for some time. With it comes repressed emotion, lack of sexual desire and overall numbness in life. My heart chakra has also been blocked, though only partially. With the second chakra blocked, the energy balance of my other chakras has been suffering, resulting in overall numbness. I have been sleeping heavily to compensate and having intensely vivid dreams.

I made it very clear to my guide that I did not want to meet anyone or have any crazy, sexual attractions to anyone but my husband. While doing so, I realize it is totally up to me and that I was being made aware of what I was creating prior to its manifestation. Usually I am against knowing things in advance, but I am very relieve to have seen this before it materialized. I can avoid a major disaster.

It did occur to me that maybe nothing of the such is being manifested, that instead I am finally making progress in clearing the blockages. The amazing feeling I experienced was just that – a clearing out of the chakras that have been blocked. The feeling I had was very similar to kundalini energy when it rises. It is better than any drug. It is marvelous! If I could, I would lose myself in the feeling and keep it forever.

I hope beyond hope that the latter explanation is the winner and that my initial reaction is wrong. We so easily manifest, often without knowing it. I do miss feeling those wonderful feelings I felt yesterday, but it is not worth it to me to sacrifice everything I have built for that feeling.

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Kundalini

What is Kundalini?

Kundalini is the power of the Divine located in each and every individual soul who incarnates into the physical.   Each of us possesses this Divine power within us, though most of us go through our lives without ever tapping into the limitlessness of our own Divinity.  Through our own Kundalini energy, we can experience pure Love, greater Knowledge, and increased intuition and connection to the universe.

Kundalini energy remains dormant for the most part.  Lying in wait until it is unleashed by a trigger or specific stimulus.  As I said earlier, not everyone will experience a release and rise of their Kundalini energy, but those who do are destined to do so in order to achieve a spiritual consciousness unique to their own spiritual journey.  The Soul chooses a specific event, time, place, emotional state, etc.  When the exact moment occurs and Kundalini begins to rise, the individual cannot ever return to their previous state.

The release of Kundalini energy can be triggered by meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, Reiki, healing and other spiritual exercises. When the Kundalini energy rises through the chakras, it can cause major change which can be problematic.

Kundalini Awakening

A Kundalini awakening is the rise of the Kundalini energy up through the seven major chakras starting with the root chakra.  This “awakening” may happen spontaneously to some while others may work years to unlock the power of their own Divinity on their own.  If you have begun to explore your own Spirituality,  then you need to be aware of Kundalini energy and the effects of  it.

Spontaneous awakening of Kundalini can be caused by many things.  Near death experiences, traumatic experiences, pain, deep sorrow, healing, intensive meditation and physical or mental illness can all bring about a Kundalini awakening.

Though the Kundalini awakening is considered a great prize by many seeking spiritual enlightenment, the process of Kundalini rising can cause many problems and setbacks for the individual.  When the dormant or potential aspect of the Kundalini arises, it means the transformation of individual consciousness into fully expanded Consciousness of the Divine. That process of transformation and purification is marked by both ecstasy and sublime experiences of the Divine, as well as by “dark nights” of the soul.  Kundalini awakening can create experiences that mimic psychiatric and somatic disorders such as schizophrenia, manic depression, and psychosis. Whether you are purposeful in awakening your Kundalini energy or not, the experience will change your life.

Typical Symptoms of a Kundalini Awakening

  • Burning hot or ice cold energy/sensations moving up the spine.
  • A feeling of air bubbles or snake movement up through the body.
  • Pains in varying locations throughout the body.
  • Tingling in the genital area, spine, or head.
  • Stiffness in the neck.
  • Pressure within the head (can be described as dull pain or heavy sensation).
  • Intense energy in legs and other parts of the body.
  • Fast pulse and increased metabolism.
  • Sensitivity to sound, light, smell, and people.
  • Orgasm sensations in different places in the body, or total body orgasms.
  • Mystical/religious experiences, revelations, and/or spiritual revelations.
  • Increase in psychic abilities.
  • Problems finding emotional balance (depression, mood swings, confusion, mania).
  • Anxiety or anxiety attacks, due to lack of understanding of what is going on.
  • Insomnia or sleeplessness.
  • Loss of concentration and memory.
  • Purposeful isolation because of confusion and lack of understanding.

Kundalini Meditation

If you feel you are ready to initiate a Kundalini awakening for yourself, then there is a simple process you can follow.  Before you decide to start this process, however, please remember that awakening your Kundalini energy will change you and you will never be able to return to the state you were in prior to the experience.  A Kundalini awakening will bring out all your long hidden issues from this life and from previous lives, it will awaken your Divine nature which may include the onset of psychic abilities you have yet to know of, it will be confusing and most likely lead you through a transformational process which many call “the dark night of the soul”.  Consider where you are in life, where you wish to be in life in your future, and whether you feel a “call” from inside you that says, “Yes I am ready”.  For those of you unsure as to whether you are ready, I recommend consulting someone who has been through a Kundalini awakening.  Discuss their experience and research all you can on the subject before making a decision.

When I say that initiating a Kundalini awakening within yourself is simple, I mean it.  All you have to do is follow some simple steps:

  1. While in a meditative state, let it be known to your guides and to the universe your intention.  State that you wish to awaken the Divine within yourself.
  1. Focus on your root chakra and imagine it flowing in a clockwise direction.
  1. Continue to state your intention. As you do so, increase the rotational frequency of your root chakra slowly until it is speeding too fast for you to follow it any longer.
  1. Firmly state your intention once more and end your meditation.

Once you have done this, you should not have to ask again.  Meditating regularly and practicing spiritual exercises that increase concentration and help you explore your own spirituality will help the process.  A Kundalini awakening is a process that can last years.  Make sure that you have a good support system while you are going through the process.  You will need the compassion and understanding of close friends and family to help you through the most intense parts of your transformation.

Go through the first technique step-by-step until you drift off into sleep.  Do not be concerned if you do not instantly project.  It took me over a month of doing these exercises before I finally consciously astral projected.

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Patterns

Yesterday I woke up in a sour mood. I hate it when that happens. Thankfully, the day morphed into a great day and, looking back, I think there is much to learn from what occurred.

Patterns

Perhaps it is the yoga I have now been doing for over two weeks. Or maybe it is my new job and the new people and challenges I encounter there. Or maybe it is the essential oils I have been using to help with my emotions. Finally, maybe it is the energetic changes that are wide spread right now, mine being particularly grueling. Whatever it is, I am beginning to see the patterns in my life. They are emerging along with huge shifts in mood and motivation.

1. I am not a morning person. I hate waking up and having to go right into life and the countless, repetitive tasks I must go through day in and day out. This has been a pattern in my life for as long as I can remember. I am not even sure when it started but I know for certain I was this way in my teens.

2. I am a mess of stress. Stressful thoughts follow me everywhere. My mind is worry machine. My body screams at me with tension every morning when I wake up and throughout the day. My back is especially hard hit.

3. I am also a perfectionist. This goes along with my constant worrying and stress. You can’t be a perfectionist without worry and stress. If things don’t go the way I planned I get irritated and frantic. I am not as bad as I once was, but I am still pretty darn bad.

4. I am a creature of habit. Although I swear I hate the repetitive routines of my life, I take comfort in them and look forward to the reassurance they offer me. I often don’t do new things because they are not part of my routine, though every once in a while I will take the plunge and do something new and unexpected.

5. My life mirrors me. What I mean in that is that I attract that which I send out. For example, in the past, when I gave readings (mediumship or other) there was always a message in the reading that not only helped the sitter but also helped me. Even now, when I meet with someone to help them their issues are always eerily similar to my own. And I am definitely not blind to it. So I take each encounter as a learning experience.

time_joakim_kraemer_photography_Synchronicity

I am also seeing the messages popping up everywhere and they point at wide scale change within me.The messages mostly come in the form of synchronicity. Yoga was the first big message that came to me that way, but I was especially dense when it came to hearing it. Once I realized that messages were coming in this way, though, I began to take notice of them.

Currently, the message I am getting is that I need to work on my circular thinking patterns. Mainly, my worry brain. The message first came through at work and continues to reappear there. First it came with just being told that anxiety was a major concern. Then it began to appear weekly and then daily. I was encouraged to look into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) as I began to problem solve situations that continued to arise. This message was reinforced when I got a private message from a friend of mine mentioning the exact therapy!

If you don’t know much about CBT, this is what Wikipedia says about it:

A psychotherapeutic approach that addresses dysfunctional emotions, maladaptive behaviors and cognitive processes and contents through a number of goal-oriented, explicit systematic procedures. The name refers to behavior therapy, cognitive therapy, and to therapy based upon a combination of basic behavioral and cognitive principles and research. Most therapists working with patients dealing with anxiety and depression use a blend of cognitive and behavioral therapy. This technique acknowledges that there may be behaviors that cannot be controlled through rational thought. CBT is “problem focused” (undertaken for specific problems) and “action oriented” (therapist tries to assist the client in selecting specific strategies to help address those problems).

There is also the message that I need to work on my past issues from school. Not only do I get this message almost daily from my work encounters but I was basically told that by a superior of mine. He said that we are drawn to work with the age-groups we do because we have not resolved issues from that time in our lives. Bulls-eye! He could not have said it better. And what has been happening since then? I have been having dreams involving issues from my school years, specifically group situations in which I struggled. At the same time I am encountering similar situations in the clients I work with. And these are long-standing issues because I am devoted over 10 years of my life to resolving issues from my school years. Ouch. I sure hope that I can propel healing in these areas and free myself of this cycle.

Healing

Finally, there is the healing that has hit me twice as hard since my move. The up’s and down’s of my emotions have made it the most difficult healing I have ever experienced except maybe the time when I went through my dark-night-of-the-soul. This is very, very similar, though.

Yoga, I think, is helping, though right now it seems to be accelerating the uncomfortable parts of the process. I am much more aware of my body and so I am more aware of how much stress I carry in my body. I am listening, though, and taking time to relax when my body signals me to. I recently got a book from a friend about healing emotions with essential oils and have been adding oils into my daily regime. So far I have not noticed much but I need to give it time. I have this intense urge to accelerate my already accelerated healing. I am not even sure this is a good thing but I have to trust my intuition on this.

The kundalini energy I was experiencing has stopped, for now. I did wake up the other night feeling it starting to rise, but it kept waking me up and it seems that me being conscious immediately stopped it. It never got past my second chakra. This is a disappointment for me. So I have been meditating more. Meditation not only helps with my stress but also encourages healing.

I did have a breakthrough yesterday with stopping my circular thinking. I spent 6 hours painting three bedrooms. It was a family effort actually and my kids ended up covered in paint (all but the baby). I went to bed exhausted and happy. I also realized that not once while I was painting did I think about anything except the moment I was in. What bliss! It was wonderful to not be burdened with excessive worry for 6 hours. I think I can use my experience to help me experience longer and longer periods of being in the moment. My husband said it right – the more purpose we have, the happier we are. I guess it works even if our purpose is to paint three bedrooms!

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The Serpent is Rising

The following is a lucid dream I had this morning.

As I rode in a car along a road I did not recognized, we stopped alongside a cluster of mailboxes. I leaned out my window to open the mailbox and suddenly found myself standing alongside it outside of the car. I reached inside the mailbox and pulled out a golden necklace. Surprised, I peered inside and discovered a mass of jewelry. Excited, I pulled each piece out and inspected it. There were three necklaces, all very yellow gold with different pendants attached. I then saw a small bracelet made of silver links of chain. Attached was a small ballet slipper of blue that sparkled. There was another small slipper not attached and I made sure not to drop it.

After inspecting the jewelry I looked around, suddenly worried I would be caught with the jewelry. I worried about this only because 1. I was not sure whose mailbox this was and 2. the jewelry was not in a package but had been left inside in a cluster as if deposited in a hurry. I pocketed the jewelry and noticed a woman pull up in her car to retrieve her mail. I moved aside and let her.

Then I was laying in my bed seemingly wide awake. It was dark and I recognized that it was likely the very early hours of the morning. I decided I wanted to find my husband and cuddle and perhaps do more than that. The thought made me smile.

I went towards the bedroom and when I entered the living room the lights were on and my son was laying on the sofa watching T.V. There were also all kinds of objects that weren’t suppose to be there. The room appeared more like a mall or shopping area than my living room. The color of the scene was golden and shimmering.

I saw my son was eating candy out of a container shaped like an elephant. I asked him where he got it and he pointed to the kiosk nearby. It was closed but the candy shelves were exposed making the candy easy to take. I became full of anger towards my husband for allowing our son to be up so early, watch T.V. and eat candy. I changed my mind then and there about going to him. I was too angry. Yet I had this strong urge to move the energy of my root chakra which was suddenly feeling very alive and tingling. How would I do that now?

Then I saw a booth. A golden color shimmered around it. I went over to it. Inside there was a woman with long, blond hair. She sat behind a counter and smiled at me and told me, “I can help you”. I sat in front of her in a chair and we talked. She talked more than me, telling me about her job in the male-dominated steel industry. I commented that it must be nice and she nodded agreement. Then she touched my groin area with her foot and a spike of energy hit me all at once. It expanded and moved outward, engulfing my entire lower body with a warm energy. Then I felt it move upward. When it hit my second chakra I could feel it condense and ball up like a knot. It twisted and pain radiated into my lower spine.

The Serpent is Rising

The pain woke me up and I lay in a mixture of pleasure and pain as the energy continued to radiate outward around my lower body. I knew instantly what was happening. This was Kundalini energy. The serpent was rising. Unfortunately, my second chakra was too blocked to let the serpent through. I tried to will it to open and allow the energy to move up to my heart chakra. I knew when the energy hit my heart chakra I would be overcome with bliss and the thought of this excited me. But when I tried to open my second chakra the pain intensified. It felt as if something were squeezing my insides.

My guide intervened. “Not yet”, he whispered. I stopped and listened, remembering the last time I had experienced Kundalini. I wanted to feel it again. “It took 2 years last time” my guide stated matter-of-factually. “Oh,” I thought back to him. “How long will it take this time?”, I asked. But I had begun to drift back to sleep and my guide’s reply was lost. I only knew I needed not to force it; to let it take its time. Forcing it was not good. I somehow knew that it would not take as long this time. How long? I am not sure.

risingKundalini

Kundalini is described as a “sleeping, dormant potential force in the human organism”. The energy, also known as “the serpent”, is thought of as coiled up at the based of the spine. When the serpent awakens, it uncoils and the energy of it rises upward along the spine to the top of the head. It rises through each of the chakras, and as it reaches each chakra it is said to awaken different energies creating different awakenings, or spiritual experiences. When the serpent reaches the top of the head, or the crown chakra, it is said to create an extremely profound mystical experience described by some as infinite bliss.

The practices of yoga and meditation are said to awaken kundalini, but it can also be awakened by a guru. Sometimes kundalini is awakened by physical or psychological trauma and other times for no reason at all. Sometimes the individual is prepared for the kundalini and other times they are not. Those who are prepared, approach kundalini with pure surrender, which means no ego interference. Those who are unprepared may end up in a kundalini crisis.

Common symptoms of kundalini are:

  • Involuntary jerks, tremors, shaking, itching, tingling, and crawling sensations, especially in the arms and legs
  • Energy rushes or feelings of electricity circulating the body
  • Intense heat (sweating) or cold, especially as energy is experienced passing through the chakras
  • Visions or sounds at times associated with a particular chakra
  • Diminished or conversely extreme sexual desire sometimes leading to a state of constant or whole-body orgasm
  • Emotional upheavals or surfacing of unwanted and repressed feelings or thoughts with certain repressed emotions becoming dominant in the conscious mind for short or long periods of time.
  • Headache, migraine, or pressure inside the skull
  • Increased blood pressure and irregular heartbeat
  • Emotional numbness
  • Antisocial tendencies
  • Mood swings with periods of depression or mania
  • Pains in different areas of the body, especially back and neck
  • Sensitivity to light, sound, and touch
  • Trance-like and altered states of consciousness
  • Disrupted sleep pattern (periods of insomnia or oversleeping)
  • Loss of appetite or overeating
  • Bliss, feelings of infinite love and universal connectivity, transcendent awareness *reference

Round Two

I have experienced almost all of the above symptoms before, years ago, and it resulted in a “dark night of the soul” and some very intensely negative times for me. I emerged without incident, a more balanced person, just in time to meet my husband and start my family. In that time, the serpent retreated and went dormant. I knew this would happen, I just didn’t think of it in terms of kundalini. I just knew that for a while I would focus upon family. You see, I just now realize that spiritual awakening and kundalini are one in the same. At least they were for me.

And now it is happening again. The serpent is no longer dormant. There is lots of work to be done. Healing. Purging. A second awakening. I have experienced almost all of the above symptoms; still am. It started some time ago, though it was not as intense as it is now. I am now mentally kicking myself for not taking better care of myself spiritually over the last seven years. So much of what I am going through now could have been avoided. But, I cannot dwell on should have’s. What is done is done. At least this time I know what to expect and understand more as to why it is happening.

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Yoga – My First Week

Since I have been receiving messages to integrate yoga into my exercise routine, I decided I would try to do some yoga every day this week and see if I feel a difference. Additionally, I dropped my normal cardio and weight routine that I do on my days off and replaced it with walks outside with my son and baby. With the cooler Fall weather, these walks have been very enjoyable and also gave me bonding time with my 3 year old.

I use videos from DoYogaWithMe.com, a website that offers all kinds of yoga videos of varying lengths and ability levels. I have found the videos to be of good quality and content.

Day 1

I did 15 minutes of beginner yoga in my office during my lunch break. I found it on YouTube here. It was very easy, simple and doable. I had not done yoga in years but I still remembered some of the basic poses. I had no spiritual experiences, no energy changes and nothing out of the ordinary. However, I did feel less tense afterward.

Day 2

After a leisurely walk with my son and baby, I did a 30 minute post-natal yoga video at home while my baby was sleeping and my toddler was playing in his room. Surprisingly, I went undisturbed until the last 5 minutes when my toddler came in and began asking me questions about what I was doing.

Observations:

1. I could not sit comfortably on my knees which was how the video began. My knees were screaming at me the whole time so I finally gave up and sat criss-cross (Indian Style).

2. Yoga is harder than I remember! I was sweating by the middle but doing well.

3. I definitely became more aware of my body and certain parts that need attention like my shoulders and hips.

4. Towards the end and after laying on my back for some time just being the video took me into child’s pose and then into rabbit’s pose (forgive me if I have the names wrong, I am still learning). When in rabbit’s pose I felt a surge of emotion hit my heart and I had to gasp. It left pretty quickly but I recognized this was a much needed release.

5. I felt like I had a decent workout when I finished which surprised me.

Day 3

I found time at work again to do yoga. This time I moved up to intermediate and a routine designed specifically for after work. It was only 15 minutes but it successfully stretched my shoulders, back and legs while giving me a chance to breathe and relax, which I was able to do though not as much as I would like.

I find that doing yoga at work is not ideal but considering my life is non-stop once I get home in the evening and I would likely have my children either climbing on me or talking non-stop to me as I tried to “relax”, work wins out. Unfortunately, I am not able to fully let go of my anxiety because I continuously worry that someone will knock on my office door with some emergency. I wonder if I will ever get to really experience yoga as it is meant to be experienced.

Day 4

I went for a walk with my son and baby and then did 35 minutes of intermediate yoga. Despite pausing three times to tend to my baby, I broke a sweat again. And again I found it difficult to twist my body into some of the poses. I noticed that I was holding my breath quite a bit and wonder if I will ever be able to breathe consistently throughout. I set the intention to receive healing, but I did not feel any healing occur – but that doesn’t mean it didn’t. My body and the energy level felt pretty much the same as it does when I do my normal routine.

I wear a Garmin Forerunner watch to keep track of my heart rate and time my workouts. It is interesting to me that although I feel like I am working out at the same level as when I run or life weights, my average heart rate during yoga is significantly lower. My average heart rate during yoga today was 92 and with my normal routine it is typically about 131.

Restorative Yoga

In the evening, I was feeling quite tense and stressed, so I found a restorative yoga video to see if it could help me clear my mind and relax. I used my Kindle and hid away in my daughter’s room so as to not be disturbed. I was able to to it for about 12 minutes before being interrupted by my son. It actually was quite relaxing and I want to try it again soon.

I noticed one thing the restorative yoga allowed me to do that I have not been able to do with other yoga: quiet my mind. I actually did not think of anything while laying in the restorative positions. It was wonderful! I can see why it is recommended for those who struggle with insomnia. Thankfully, insomnia has not been one of my issues for some time now (knock on wood).

Day 5

I awoke to all-over body aches. I was surprised to find that muscles I didn’t know I had were hurting. Specifically, the muscles around the hip bone area. Usually my aches of the morning go away quite quickly once I get up and move around, but these were very obviously not going to do that. So I started my morning with a short yoga video specifically focused on stretching the shoulders and upper back. After doing it I felt much less stiffness in my shoulders and neck area, which was a relief.

When I got home from work I decided to try Kundalini Yoga. I did over an hour of it and learned how to chant and move energy up and down my spine. Initially, my upper back felt intensely hot. Not hot like heat from working out but hot like full of trapped energy. It was similar to how it feels when I receive Reiki but the energy was very out of place and haphazard. I adjusted my position using a pillow and that helped so I am thinking that I may have not been sitting correctly and thus disrupting the energy flow. Considering the main focus was on the spine, I am glad I was able to correct the problem. Overall, I will likely only do Kundalini Yoga on days when I want a slow, more meditative practice.

After Kundalini Yoga I decided to do more traditional yoga. My daughter joined me, mesmerized by it. She ended up doing a  few somersaults during the quiet, breathing but overall she was eager and curious. She was very upset with me when I ended early. She was not overly disruptive, which was nice, I was just tired from my previous hour of Kundalini Yoga. Despite that, I did about 20 minutes with my daughter.

Today’s total yoga time amounted to 95 minutes, 60 of that was Kundalini Yoga, though, which is mostly meditation.

womanReflection

As I reflect back on this week, I notice some subtle changes and some no so subtle ones. The subtle ones are mostly spiritual and emotional. The more obvious ones have been physical.

Spiritually, my dreams have been focused on past issues, specifically times when I have either purposefully or accidentally hurt someone. One dream on the fourth night of yoga was intense. I woke up confused from it and was certain I had cheated on my husband numerous times. I have had similar dreams in the past. I told my husband about it and he said he has had the same dream except that he is the one certain he has cheated on me! This revelation from him had me considering that perhaps we have been working on similar issues together without knowing it. Another dream was obviously a guide message where I was shown the pages of a book and a finger pointed to a name: Pete. Then later the name changed to Petra. It was very vivid and I recalled meeting a guide whose name was Peter in a past OBE. But who was Petra? My research showed Petra to be simply the feminine of Peter. In the end, I concluded that the message was that “Peter” could come in both male and female form. This made perfect sense to me because we are neither male or female. It is our bodies that have this distinction, not us.

Emotionally I have noticed significant gains since starting yoga. The most notable being yesterday. I felt completely at ease all day yesterday. I also was allowing myself to enjoy the obvious wins I have had in life up to this point. In other words, my thoughts had shifted to thinking of the many blessing of my life. I spent much of the day reacting to things in a completely opposite way than is my norm. I started the day forgetting my lunch and snack at home. Instead of beating myself up for it, I decided to make the most of it and called my husband to come have lunch with me. He was surprised and pleased and we had a nice lunch together. I even ended up going over my normal lunch time. But rather than worry over it, I just stayed at work later than normal. I also had prepared poorly for a group I was conducting, had to deal with an unexpected situation at the last minute so could not properly prepare with the little time I thought I had, and then the printer would not print! I went ahead to the group, unprepared and completely okay with it. All went smoothly. Even the evening went smoothly and without incident.

Physically I have not been so great. My body has been aching more than normal. These are both the aches from using muscles that are not normally used and the aches that weight lifting had eliminated. Since I did no weights all week, my entire back is again stiff in the mornings and I feel like I am much older than I am. I also had a cold most of the week, though now I am much better. So overall, my main complaint is the aching.

What I will likely do next week is return to my normal routine but incorporate yoga into it. Hopefully that will help with the muscle stiffness that has returned while helping me continue to improve my spiritual and emotional health.