Tag Archives: lucid dreams

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Lucid Dream: The God 10 Effect

I woke at 4am after yet another very good, deep sleep. I was wide awake and my guidance was close. As is normal, I tried to get comfortable and found it difficult. Turned to my right. Not quite right. Turned to my left. Not quite right. My guidance interjected at this time and said, “Balance”. I recognized the symbolism straight away. Left – feminine (my preferred side to sleep on). Right – masculine. This is the body, the mind is the opposite of this. Anyway, for a while now I have been most comfortable sleeping on my back and whenever I have an experience – lucid dream, OBE, in-between, Kundalini – I come back to my physical body laying on my back. It occurred to me then that perhaps my shift to sleeping in this position (I have always been a side-sleeper) is more than just body preference. Perhaps it is a reflection of my own inner Shift? From what my guidance was sending, this conclusion seems correct.

From this point a conversation commenced about finding balance and what that looked like on a mental level. I have a tendency to go to extremes one way and then the other. I very rarely sit in the middle, unmoving and solid. The pendulum is always moving and balance is but a moment that passes quickly as I shift to yet another extreme. It was explained that to be in the center and balanced is the goal. This is the location of the Observer.

This conversation was brought about because of my concern at noticing that I have absolutely no excitement regarding my upcoming trip to Tennessee. There is a temptation to cancel it and just stay home and mope. Ha!

Funny enough, I was able to drift into the in-between and then into a lucid dream.

Lucid Dream: The God 10 Effect

I was both watching and being a young woman who was very disconnected from reality and found it difficult to focus on normal life tasks. She was spaced out. She heard a “voice” in her head that kept her on track. He sometimes appeared to her in the form of a very normal looking, clean-cut man with brown hair. She/me was in a department store shopping. She forgot who she was, where she was and what she was doing. The voice directed her to the cashier. She walked up to the cashier who asked her to fill out a slip before check-out and then asked her for her ID and payment. The girl turned and crawled into her car, which was sitting right next to her inside the store. Sitting in the passenger seat she reached into her wallet and saw her driver’s license was missing. In the moment I took over. Recognizing I was dreaming I thought, “This is a dream and I can make the license appear.” It did and I gave it to the cashier with a check written to the amount of $33.33. I saw my license number on the check and thought, “I didn’t need the ID after all.”

While checking out, the car began to slowly creep forward despite being in park. The girl pulled up the emergency brake but the car kept moving. The girl realized it was not going to stop so she jumped into the driver’s seat and put on the brake.

Then the girl took the shirt she bought and began to leave but forgot again who she was and where she was. The voice told her, “There’s your car.” She saw a silver car in the parking lot. It looked like a Ford Flex and the license plate read 333 3333. In the dream I recognized this sign and took note of it but did not take over the dream and continued to observe.

She sat down at a table and the scene shifted. The voice was the man talking to another woman (who was also me). They both sat down to eat lunch and observed the girl sitting alone talking to herself. They thought she was crazy and the girl, recognizing this, pretended to hold a phone and then ended her conversation.

She got up and began to leave and I became very lucid. There was a distinct feeling here that is hard to describe. It was like I had been looking through a screen door and I was finally able to focus and see past the screen to the scene beyond. There was a sense of being in multiple places all at once; of perceiving everything all at once and being able to see the big picture.

The scene shifted and became a television screen. There written clear as day was the title of the show, “The God 10 Effect.” The credits began and I remember saying, “I like this show. I want to watch more.” Then the very last image was the production company and it said, “The X Files”.

 

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Lucid Dream: The Giggles

For some reason I have been having tons of lucid dreams. I had two the night before last and then one last night as well along with quite a few semi-lucid dreams.

Lucid Dream: The Giggles

I was in a classroom adjacent to another classroom. I went next door and spoke to the teacher there. He reminded me of someone I know online, but his energy was that of my counterpart. There was conversation about weight lifting at this time. He was lifting 5lb plates and trying to get in shape. I remember telling him that I thought he could lift more than that. He joked that I was trying to coach him so that I could get him to look like I wanted him. There was a feeling here that he and my team of guides were teasing me about my exercise routine. There was most definitely a feeling from this teacher friend that he was romantically interested in me. I remember thinking it inappropriate because I was married. My consideration obviously amused him.

At this point a woman began to sing and I looked around the room for something to accompany her with. I saw two drums in the room and a large gong. I thought about playing them and then decided against it for some reason, yet I could hear the drums very distinctly as if someone was playing them. I mentioned the gong to the teacher and he said it would not have been a good idea. I said to him, “Yeah, they are loud. My mom had one.” I realized after that had I hit the gong it would have made me too lucid.

Then I was talking to a Hispanic woman and she was discussing the after-effects of pregnancy. She was laughing and joking about giving birth, even pretending to push out a baby. Then she joked about the double tummy that was left behind and even showed me hers which was quite large with massive stretch marks. She did have a tummy under a tummy, too. She asked me if I had this after pregnancy and I told her no but we joked about it.

This is when the man came back into the room. He asked what we were laughing about and the woman made a joke to him about male childbirth that I can’t remember now. He thought it was funny, though. I believe it was about ejaculation because after the comment I had a can of whipping cream and was spraying him in the face with it. It hit him in the eye and I burst out laughing. Then I put it all around his neck. Something about this was extremely funny to me because I started laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe. It was a deep belly laugh that felt wonderful.

kundalini-snakes

Conversation

I woke up laughing hard. My heart chakra was warm and expansive and I felt relaxed and happy. I immediately thanked my Companion because he had done what I asked him to do – meet me in my dreams.

Afterwards we talked for a bit. I felt so much love for him, like we were old friends and reconnecting. All the dark, angry, confused feelings I had been having vanished and I felt comfortable and happy. There was also a return to wanting to be with him; to come into Union. He commented that what I was feeling was my True Self, that with him I was free to be me.

The connection with him fired up the Kundalini briefly. My heart was an expanse of warmth and there would be occasional shots of energy from my heart straight to my root and then back up again. My resistance toward the experience completely melted away.

This dream experience is a great example of the relationship I have with my Companion (spiritual counterpart) and team of guides. There is a lot of playful energy between us and an eternal love and peace. The entire lucid experience was of my group making fun of my very human considerations. Thankfully, I saw the humor in it as well.

Dream: Anything for Love

I managed to fall back to sleep despite the Kundalini activity. The dream I ended up in was semi-lucid. I was with a man who owned a red Ferrari. I remember looking at it, opening the doors which opened up over our heads. The man in the dream was wearing armor. I remember he looked huge, like some kind of action hero. I can’t remember his face very well, but I think there was brown hair.

He took me for a ride in his Ferrari and as he drove he kept taking out this bottle filled with a bright orange liquid. He would fill the cap with the liquid and drink it like he was drinking liquor and he would close his eyes like he was getting high. I watched him do this and finally asked him what it was he was drinking. I remember thinking he must be a drug addict. I also knew we were a couple and had been for a while and I had resisted asking him about this strange, orange elixir.

He pulled up to a house and took another swig of the stuff. I felt uncomfortable and told him we should not park there because someone would wonder why we were there. But he was out of it. A man came out of the house. He was dressed in black. When I saw him, I jumped out of the car and had this huge shotgun. I shot the man dead before he could alert anyone to our being there. I was shocked that I had done this but felt I would do it again in a heartbeat for him (my partner). That is when I noticed the car to our right was a long, black hearse. There was a man standing there looking at me in shock. I realized then that I was wearing a police uniform and so was my partner sitting in the car.

My partner and I ran from the car and into a field near a school. A blonde woman saw us and showed us to a large, multi-storied house. We went inside and I realized it was a safehouse.  I felt like a criminal for some reason.

Then we were down by the car preparing to leave and ran into three more police officers. I was scared they would recognize me and arrest me, but they were friendly and helpful. My partner and I spoke to them for a while about art and he was showing them paintings that we had done. I recall seeing a painting I had done of him. It was very detailed. He was naked and laying down. All I remember now is his chest and face. He was very handsome but again not anyone I recognized. There was also a sketch in pencil of the two of us laying in bed naked, our bodies intertwined. We were holding hands over the top of both of our heads. The feeling from it was beautiful. I recognized myself in the sketch but his face was hidden. The main image I recall is us holding hands and the feeling here was of complete and utter devotion. There was a feeling that I would do anything for him.

Kundalini Signs

When I woke up from this dream I again felt very at ease and calm. I continue to feel this way. It is like I spent the entire night being hugged and comforted. Yet when I woke I had visions of a symbol that was written in fire. The fire was alive, moving and sparking. I don’t remember the symbol now except that there were three dots that were sparking out towards me.

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Kundalini Dream: MOAB

Last night was interesting to say the least.

Dream: Test Preparation

Quick dream recall to set the scene. 🙂

I was at school and preparing to take a test. My teacher, a tall, brunette, was focusing on me even though she had an entire class of kids. The other kids appeared to be about 10 years of age and the classroom was yellow and gold colors. Part of my preparation involved making myself a lunch for my trip which was to be by plane. I remember feeling I might be late and rushing.

During the preparation, a man kept calling by phone trying to talk to me and talk me out of going on the trip. I could see him in my mind and he reminded me of one of my old neighbors – older, gray hair, wrinkled and thin. I remember him calling on the phone and hearing him cock a gun and I said, “Tell him he doesn’t need to bring his gun.” I saw in my mind a shot gun and felt as if he were trying to protect me.

Then I was being send to a one-room house. These were to be my quarters while I prepared. The cottage sized house was cozy and had an attached single car garage. I remember the old man also got a cottage. I’m not sure why he came along, though.

Dream: Arranged Marriage

I was ushered into a great hall where an event was underway. There was a Hindu/Indian feel and theme to the obvious celebration. There was a stage and a band was playing. I remember being asked to sing a song, but I didn’t know the words so just kind of made them up as I went. The song reminded me of a Phil Collins song. lol Everyone was happy, dancing and/or milling about. I felt out of place, though. Why was I here?

The woman, the teacher from the last dream, informed me that I had agreed to marry a man. The marriage had been arranged and this was the celebration – our celebration. I understood this to be true and immediately looked for my my husband-to-be. I saw him sitting down near the band on a bench, not far from where I sat and to my left. I looked at him closely, inspecting his features and trying to memorize what he looked like. He had black hair, cropped short with medium skin tone and looked much, much older than me by the amount of deep lines on his face. His eyes were dark brown. He was quite thin and wiry and his face familiar.

In front of us there was a large, Asian-looking house with golden colored gates. For some reason I thought they were “garages“. There were three in a row and the same person (the woman?) told me that the garages were very difficult to operate. Then my attention was drawn to tiny figurines lined up by the house. I was told these were “idols” that people had put there and that this place was in fact a shrine of some sort. I then saw someone walking away from the house with two dolphins on leashes. They were taking them to the ocean. In the dream I remember laughing at the sight of it because it was so absurd.

Lucid Dream: MOAB

This is when the dream takes a turn and my lucidity begins to increase. The woman continued to prepare me for my upcoming wedding and spoke to me at some length. I remember someone asked me to purchase a newspaper and the man I was to marry interrupted and said, “It does not need to be purchased. It is free to everyone.” It was a newspaper I recognized, some scientific publication, but I can’t recall the name now.

Then the man was sitting very close to me on my right. I remember sensing his thoughts and saying out loud, “It’s okay. We’re going to be married anyway.” The man turned to me and I looked at him. I could only see his dark brown eyes. I asked him, “What is your name, anyway?” He said, “MO-AB. Moab.” I heard it very audibly in the dream and it brought on almost full lucidity. I repeated the name to him slowly and then he repeated it back to me.

The next thing I knew he kissed me very gently on the lips. I could feel it as if I were awake and I did not reject it. It is amazing to me how real it felt. There was an internal conversation going on in my head with him at the time. I also recall knowing what he felt and what he wanted. It was very strange. I sensed he wanted to kiss more deeply. I allowed this because his energy was so calming and soothing and the kissing felt nice.

Then I felt I needed to stop. I don’t know why but at the same time he was asking me not to stop though there were no words said. I just felt what he wanted. He wanted to embrace me and wrap me in his arms while kissing me. When the thought hit me to pull away, my heart chakra lit up intensely. The feeling in my heart was a mixture of pain and pleasure and intensified to the point that I couldn’t breathe. Then the energy from my heart shot straight down into my root chakra and began to move up with even greater intensity. I pulled away from his kiss and woke up.

Afterward

Even awake, the energy continued and I was unable to breathe. My guide kept asking me, “How do you feel?” over and over. I couldn’t really answer at the time. I was ablaze with energy and trying to recover. lol

I kept recalling the name MOAB. I had heard it before. Why was I hearing it again? What the heck is MOAB??

The clock said 3:45am. I was awake until 5:15am before I fell back to sleep. It took that long for the energy to settle. He kept asking me how I felt. I was finally able to respond, “Aroused.” LOL However, this arousal is not typical. The energy in all my lower chakras and heart chakra was intensely arousing for some reason, in a spiritual way. It was like the heart bliss spread to my lower chakras.

I knew/was told that this was just a preparation and more is coming. This “test” was to see how I would handle the energy. I was told I passed but I felt like I failed because I knew the energy was suppose to be moved up. How the hell am I suppose to remember to move it up when it is taking over all my lower chakras?? Since my heart chakra continued to blaze for a while after the experience, I practiced moving it up and got as far as my throat but lost interest.

Edit: I looked up the meaning of the name Moab. Apparently it can mean many different things, some of which we do not even have a word for. However, when reading this article I was drawn to this explanation:

“But the word אב (‘ab), meaning father, also occurs in meanings other than that of a biological parent. Sometimes it’s used to indicate the lord of a village (Isaiah 22:21), or an elder (2 Kings 2:12), or an ancestor (Genesis 10:21), and often it simply indicates a position of authority; a counselor (Genesis 45:8) or prophet (2 Kings 6:21). The word ‘ab is also ascribed to God (Isaiah 63:16, Hosea 11:1)

Specifically, I feel this name is given to represent our relationship (me and this guide/mentor). He is to me an ancestor of some sort and since he is my mentor (counselor) this applies as well. I am reminded of the church and how we use “father” or “elder” for those in divinely appointed positions. Perhaps this is also applicable here.

 

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Lucid to OBE: Sometimes You Want Cereal

After noting a friend’s success at using B-Complex to induce a lucid dream, I decided to try taking it right before bed.

I use to take B-Complex every night before bed but it began to interrupt my sleep, so I stopped. No surprise, it interrupted my sleep! I woke every 2 hours, each time looking at the clock and swearing I had slept an entire night. Upon my last waking at 4am I pleaded with my guides. “Please let me at least get something out of this. At least a lucid dream?”

Wish granted.

Becoming Lucid: Old Flame in my Bed!

I became aware of a man in my bed. I turned and saw it was an ex-boyfriend!

Brief Explanation – This relationship had been like no other. There was an awesome chemistry – a chemistry that turned me into some kind of sex-crazed idiot (not joking!). in 2003 I had asked my guide to send him. I wanted to experience such a chemistry. Did I ever get it! I also experienced for the first and only time in my life the worse jealousy ever! I wish it on no one!

Dream

Noting who was in my bed, I slid out and looked at him. He looked as I remembered and I remembered A LOT! I did not touch him. Instead I was conversing with my guide. I knew a part of me was observing and that this was a rendering of my subconscious. I remember saying, “I wish I felt like that again!”

A woman I did not know came into the room and began to play with his male part. I got furious and yelled at her saying, “This is the only time I get to see him! You get him all the time! Get out!”. She left.

I then conversed some more with my guide who I didn’t see but knew was there. I remember wearing a belt and taking it and all my clothes off. I talked as I went outside the bedroom, which was my old room at my Mom’s house. There was a staircase going up. I walked up it but it suddenly collapsed upon itself and I slid down to the bottom. There was another staircase coming down and it was chained off – unsafe. I remember hearing from my guide that I could not go up until it was repaired. Looking back on it, I understand. It would have led me to higher levels and I was not yet ready to go there.

I went into my Mom’s bathroom and noted it was misshapen. The room stretched and moved with me in it. I felt like I was tripping! The golden color of the bathroom and the misplacement of the furniture began to bring on lucidity. I began looking for a ponytail holder and the drawers were too clean and organized. Then I knew: I was dreaming!

OBE: Can’t Breathe!

Feeling my body, I exited quickly and found myself in a dark, enclosed space. I suddenly felt I could not breathe and noticed that I was enclosed inside a fabric bag of some sort. I could see a tiny, pinprick of white light through a corner of it – a buttonhole! The claustrophobia was so real! I squelched the panic and told myself it was my fear doing this. I did not want this experience!

OBE: Sometimes You Want Cereal

Immediately the room disappeared and I was in my body feeling vibrations. I exited in one fluid motion and found myself in a dark room full of shadows. To my left there was a golden light and as I looked I saw it was coming from an entire wall of windows. They were shuttered but still the light shown through. I knew I needed to go out there!

I pushed through one of the shuttered windows and went outside. I found myself in my mother’s front yard looking out on many cars parked along the road. I remember thinking, “It’s not bright enough out here!” It was twilight, so there was light but it was muted.

As if to continue the lucid dream, I thought, “There’s a party. That makes sense. He liked parties”. I began to search for his vehicle. I saw an old, white 1970 Ford pickup. Inside was sitting a middle-aged man with a salt-and-pepper beard. I knew him!

I went up to the pickup and felt my middle son lagging behind me. When I saw the man he got out of the truck. He was beautiful despite being “older”. He reminded me of someone but I could not place him.

I asked him and my son, “Do you want to fly?” I reached out and grabbed both their hand’s. As we lifted up, I turned to the man and hugged him tightly. Then I thought, “What’s his name?” I heard an answer in my mind, “Robert”. I had asked my question aloud – “What’s your name?” – when I thought it and the man responded, “Robert” right after I heard it in my mind.

Happy that I had met Robert (my guide), we soared up into the sky. As I felt us rise, my vision blacked out but I was talking to Robert. I wondered, “Why was I dreaming about my ex? Why don’t I want to be with my husband?”

I then saw in my mind an image of a bowl of oatmeal. I stirred it with a spoon but did not want to eat it. Robert said to me, “Sometimes, when all you’ve had is oatmeal, you want cereal”. LOL (Still laughing about this comment).

OBE: It’s Your Birthday!

I felt the subtle vibrations of my body and willed myself back. This time I found myself standing in front of the hallway bathroom looking at my ex. The door was open and he didn’t have a shirt on. I walked up to him and realized I was holding a bowl of cereal (ha!). He turned and his face was covered in white powder. I handed him the bowl of cereal and he took it.

Then we went into the kitchen. There was a Simpson’s toy contraption on the table and I found out he had gotten it for me. I kept watching him and thinking that he had come to see me after all these years. I wished he would stay but felt nothing for him – no love, no desire, nothing. It is foggy now but I recall recognizing his selfishness and that I didn’t like that about him.

Then my Mom presented me with a sequined, silver and black, sleeveless jacket. I oo’d and aw’ed when I saw it and I heard my ex say, “Isn’t that kind of cheap?” I remember then that he would never allow me to appear “slutty”. He was very worried about appearances yet he wanted a slut as his girlfriend. I was not like that and never would have been happy with him. He would have sought to control me in every way.

My Mom mentioned it was my birthday and this confused me. “It’s not my birthday”, I said. She said, “Isn’t it?” I recall being a bit confused here and trying to decide which birthday was my birthday. She asked me, “When is your birthday? I forgot”. I said, “July 3rd” but I knew in “reality” my birthday was a whole month later.

It was then suggested that we go fishing. Me, my ex, and my two oldest children flew out the back window to a large lake. We landed on its banks and I saw the white bones of some kind of animal. It had died there. I saw also that I could see right to the bottom of the dark waters. I cautioned all of them, “Be still, the fish will see you!”

As my ex fished, my children began to ride their bikes over the water. I thought, “He’s never going to catch anything if the lake is that shallow”.

Considerations

This experience was interesting. It was like I was watching my dream as the observer. The lucid dream was interesting. The bathroom warping like that was the coolest! I felt like I was looking into one of those carnival mirrors but actually IN it!

The realizations I had were included in the account. I was contemplating an issue I have been having – feeling more like my husband’s friend than his lover. I actually am happy the way it is – it is comfortable. Yet in the dream I am exploring another part of me, one that wants more and wants to create that in my life. I looked back on an old relationship and recognized it was not what I wanted – how it could have been. I even think that I returned to an alternate life, one in which I made different choices.

The last part about the lake is the perfect description of my relationship with my ex. It is dead. He was too shallow for me.

I also can’t stop laughing about Robert’s comment! I also won’t forget his face. So handsome and familiar.

I want to add that meeting up with him allowed me to compare how Robert feels to how E’Fonin feels. They are VERY different. Robert communicates to me from the right. His communication is subtle and comfortable. E’Fonin communicates from all around – it is as if he surrounds me completely. And he feels HUGE and magnificent, like I am being visited by God or an Angel. His presence seems announced in such a way that I am instantly attentive. He cannot be ignored as easily as Robert. And the energy that comes with E’Fonin is beautiful. I want to melt into my bed. They are SO different!

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Lucid to OBE: Holding My Hand

As I meditated last night, I asked to either astral project or lucid dream. I knew instantly it would happen and was pleased. It has been a long time since I have done either.

Lucid to OBE: Holding My Hand

I woke in the early morning hours. It was still dark outside so rather than get up I rolled over on my left side and focused on my third-eye which was buzzing with energy. I had many thoughts in my mind making it difficult to relax. I remember hearing that I needed to relax and clear my mind.

The next thing I knew I was very aware of laying in my bed spooning with another person. I could feel their body snug up against mine and it was comforting.

I knew instantly I was OOB because this person I was with was not my husband (he was already awake). There was an electrical energy that was present which also alerted me to this fact.

My mind was a swirl of thoughts – communication between myself and another which I cannot remember now but I know was occurring. I felt a large, masculine hand reach out and gently take my hand. I felt my fingers interlace between his and squeeze. I was not alone.

The act of holding hands caused my awareness to peak and I began to look around and try to gather information about where I was. Unfortunately, all I saw was a gray, shifty haze that seemed to jump if I focused upon it. I was able to recognize I was not in my own bedroom. Where was I?

I felt the familiar pull back to my body and the energy seemed to hit me with more force than usual. I felt my body and knew I could return, so I withdrew from the front of my mind and fell back into thoughtlessness.

colors dropplet ripples waterReturn

Again, I could feel myself spooning with this man but I was also aware that there was another person in bed with me, a female. I did not spoon with her but kept thinking that the man and the woman were people who I converse with online. I called them by name and talk to them as if they were there but I did not see either of them. Why I did this, I am not sure but I remember thinking that I needed to tell them I had been with them while OOB.

These thoughts occurred simultaneously with other thoughts, thoughts that were conversations with someone else. I was being reminded to observe and to allow the experience to show me what I needed to see.

I could feel my awareness increasing and decreasing. It ebbed and flowed as I tried to maintain a balance, one that would allow me to remain the observer and not take too much control of the experience. I recall in one heightened moment of lucidity that I could feel the body spooning with me with such intensity that I momentarily forgot I was OOB and thought it was real. This made me too lucid and I had to fight to gain control of myself to remain OOB.

Eventually, I got up out of the bed and began to explore my environment. My vision was still shifty and all gray so I knew I needed to raise my vibration. I began to sing as I flew toward the front of a familiar house. I believe I was in a house I use to share with my ex-husband when we lived in college housing in Montana! I could see the door ahead of me and there was light shining through the windows. I knew if I could get there that I could free myself of this heavy environment.

There was then a recognition that I had done something wrong. I had taken control of the the experience when it was made clear that my only job was to observe it, to allow it to show me something. I was not reprimanded or anything. It’s not like that. I was more of a, “Oh shoot. I forgot!” feeling as I got the message.

Time to Rest

I was pulled very quickly back to my body. As this occurred I received information about the veil between the Earth and the other dimensions or layers surrounding it. The veil was thinner than normal. It was not a good idea at this time for me to explore these areas. It was my time to “rest”.

I was able to gain information about why it was not a good idea for me to travel outside my body right now while many others are able to. It has something to do with my vibration level and the vibration of my physical body as well as the vibration level of the surrounding dimensions or layers. I was told that my physical body is being attuned, its vibration raised in order to incorporate a higher vibration. Leaving my body to explore the astral realms could interrupt the process.

I am shown in my mind a tuning fork and the ripples the sound makes as it travels away from the fork. Then I am shown a disturbance in the ripple. This disturbance is what would happen if I were to astral right now.

I’m not sure what would happen if such a disturbance occurred but I trust my guides in this. There is always a good reason even if I do not understand it.

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Healing Spheres of Golden Light

In an attempt to get a longer, more restful sleep, I gave in and took 25mg of Benadryl last night. I slept until 7am with few wakings for a total of 10 hours of sleep!

Dreams and False Awakenings

The Benadryl gives me that heavy, full-of-sleep feeling, so although I did dream, I have few memories of dreams. The few memories I do have are riddled with false awakenings indicating that I was nearly lucid, but just not quite enough to wake up and recognize I was dreaming.

In one particular false awakening instance, I had “awakened” from a dream and rolled back over to return to sleep only to find that I was feeling a very strong energy in my root chakra and a churning desire in my second chakra. I recognized this and decided I needed to wake my husband to release some of the energy.

I got up out of bed (remember this is a dream but I think I am awake) and look for my husband. I find him sitting inside an unfamiliar car in the driver’s seat. He sees me and is surprised. I have a blanket wrapped around me and still feel very groggy. I reach over and kiss him passionately he. He is surprised and we make out for a short while. I am pleased because I feel such an overwhelming desire for him, a desire I have not felt since after the birth of our second child.

Gaining hope that perhaps we can rekindle that new love feeling, I am about to ask him to come into the house when he points ahead at a person walking along the road. He says,”I wonder why they are out so late?” He is curious and begins to drive toward the woman. This reveals an entire group of people walking along the road. A light appears which I think are car headlights. Turns out it is flashlights and the group is much larger than I thought.

My husband, being the socialite he is, questions the woman who says there is a neighborhood meeting. My husband gathers data from her to the extent that I lose interest completely in my original reason for being there. I remember thinking, “That does it for me”.

I recall following my husband as he talks and mingles with the group and we all walk outside along a dirt path that winds through woods and houses. I am flying in one of these instances and recall being just above the treetops and wanting to get out of there and explore. This is not allowed. I am to observe the scene and I do not like it.

False Awakening Two

I then “awaken” in my bed and hear water running. I wonder why it is running and not stopping so I get up to investigate and find the toilet has not shut off. I fix it and hear a noise in the kitchen.

There is a golden hue in the kitchen (all the house is unfamiliar). I go out and find my middle son is awake. I tell him to go back to bed.

It gets hazy here but I remember then being in a mall looking for my children after returning from the group of people my husband was with from the other dream. I find them wandering around and frantically gather them up to take them home. There is a man giving out wads of 100 dollar bills. I take one and do not believe it is real and throw it on the floor. On my way home I pick it up and say I will give it to my husband as he might believe the money is real.

When we get home the house is full of those people my husband was with. I tell them to leave. I did not invite them and they can’t just walk in without knocking and asking for entrance.

There is this shorter, middle aged woman who is very familiar there. She gives me a defiant look and resists my orders to leave. I see her as a threat to my marriage as she was the one leading the group and my husband tends to go along with what she asks him to do. Eventually she and the others do leave my house but my husband returns and invites them in. I feel powerless to do anything about it and feel a strange uncomfortable feeling. I do not want to feel this in my own home so I leave and stand outside looking at the front door.

Healing Spheres of Light

I awaken feeling this odd energy over my body. As I come to full awareness, I both sense and see these pulsating, golden spheres on my back and shoulder areas. They seem attached to me and I see one is placed where my shoulder and arm meet and another is six inches higher near my neck. Where they are touching me is an odd sensation, one I do not like.

Fully lucid, I want the feeling to go away. Still in the in-between, I see very clearly the golden spheres attached to grayish looking branches or vines. They are “ripe” and falling off like fruit falls off a tree. The vines seem alive, almost fleshy-like and seem to retreat somewhat when a golden sphere of fruit falls off. It is a very alien-like scene, like something from a Sci-Fi movie, and I withdraw from it, wanting it to go away as I still feel the strange feeling. It feels like I am being zapped with energy and where the energy touches me is a radiating alien energy that goes deep into my Being. I feel invaded but it does not hurt nor do I think I should be withdrawing from it. Yet a part of me does not want anything to do with these spheres.

Recognizing that something is being done to me, I wake fully and immediately question the experience. I see in front of me a hand written note on white paper. As I begin to read it I hear my guide say, “Why don’t you take this opportunity to love others?” I remember the dream and my rejection of the large group my husband so happily embraces. I want to retreat from it; to isolate myself from this “group”. The uncomfortable feeling returns and I say to my guide, “I don’t want to. Do I have to?” I hear, “No, but you will have to learn it at a later date” and I know that if I do not learn it now, that I will in another life. I cringe.

The feeling goes away but my hips feel very sensitive and I struggle to get comfortable. The feeling is not like any I have had before. It kind of feels like my legs were popped out of the hip socket and then replaced. Like I had been rearranged.

To Learn or Not to Learn, That is the Question

Fully awake, I perused my dreams, trying to remember them. What I found is that I began to re-write the dreams. For example, where I was in the car with my husband and he sees the woman, I re-wrote it by seeing instead an army in front of us who we both began to fight. There was a full on assault with guns and bombs. I came out of my reverie knowing I had re-written it and struggled to remember the original. The message was not lost on me, though.

In this life I tend to choose to avoid groups. I avoid making connections with groups. I do this to protect myself but also because groups make me uncomfortable. Last night, I stayed home with my youngest rather than go to a party with my husband. I chose this because it is outside my comfort zone. I have always been this way, mostly. Sometimes when I go to a party I am very social and open. But this is rare. I usually stand or sit far away from the crowd and rarely do I initiate a conversation.

I recognize that my real Self is very sociable. For some reason I chose to be the opposite in this life. I remember lives in which I was social and being social was easy. Not so in this life. The dreams I had last night suggest that I am to learn a lesson about sociability. It is linked to my husband and our marriage. I suspect there is a hidden “lie” that needs to be revealed but in order to do this I must step outside my comfort zone. I must challenge myself in order to “free” myself.

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Destination

In the early morning hours after once again waking at 5:30am, I found myself drifting in and out of a lucid dream. To my disappointment, each time I would begin to take control of this state I would awaken fully. This occurred about five times total before I gave up. However, I was able to gather some important data through this process which I want to share with you all.

Destination

In one instance of lucid dreaming, I found myself traveling at intense speeds in what appeared to be outer space. I could see the stars buzzing by me. They appeared as streaks of light. I felt to be moving toward a destination that I could make out just barely in the darkness. It had shape to it but appeared to be cloaked in darkness. Yet I could see its outline which was distinctly angular, like several triangles merged together. As I think back on the shape I saw, it resembled a merkaba.

As I woke from this experience, there came with me an awareness of information that had not been there before. There came a message in my mind – “You are already at your destination”. With this I knew that there were simultaneously existing states. One in which I was already at my destination, some 8 to 9 light-years away. The other in which I was still traveling, not yet where I hoped to be.

I fell into another light dream state and once again was lucid. I saw several points of light disperse and then each one exploded into more tiny lights. This occurred many, many times until the points of light were so many I was unable to keep track of them.

When I awoke I knew that each of my perceptions was much more than what they seemed. Each perception in itself was a new state, a distinct me and then each one in turn became more, expanding beyond my current state. This in itself is such a limited description of what I saw and the information I knew/know is difficult to put into words.

Image of a Being

As I continued to drift in and out of a lucid states, I was discussing many things with another person. The person was male and felt distinctly different than my normal guide. I wondered who it was and got a flash of an image. I saw a very pale face which reminded me of the young girl I saw not long ago. This face was very obviously male, with a stronger jawline, and appeared more mature. He had no hair and seemed very serious. He gave me a name but I have lost it now. It was like Morphael-Son or something like that. Definitely not a name that is of Earth.

Root Chakra Manipulation

Another odd occurrence these past few nights is a strange activation of my root chakra when I am meditating. The first time it happened I almost missed it altogether because I had gone into such a deep state of relaxation. I meditated on my third eye and heart chakra as has been my norm and had all the typical pulling and energy intensity that I have been having for weeks now. This time, however, I must have gone immediately into the in-between or even may have been OOB. I was happily enjoying the blissful energies when I suddenly had orgasmic-type sensations in my root and second chakras. They were very muted, however, and were just barely noticeable on a physical level. I actually ignored them until something brought me back to full awareness and I felt that I was nudged into remembering that it happened.

This same energy has been happening easily with me just intending it to happen. I mentioned this previously but it seems to be escalating. Most nights now I am able to get the energy levels to a pretty intense state, but nothing bliss-gasm-like.

Then this morning, as I was in the in-between having these conversations and learning, I had a moment where I was very lucid and standing in a room. Across the room was another person, I think they were male but cannot remember. They were in communication with me, but it was wordless. Instead it felt like energy and I felt that I should purposefully activate my root chakra. The root chakra began to activate intensely but I felt embarrassed for some reason, as if I did not want this other person observing this process. So I came back to full awareness. Yet when I fell back into the dream state, there I was again, fully lucid in a room standing across from this man and feeling an intense rising up of energy into my second chakra.

I again awoke and there was no residual energy except that my third eye was blazing. I recall now that the room was white but the floors were either green or lush grass. It was like I was in a field with white walls.

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Breathing in Light

After asking to lucid dream, I drifted off into semi-lucid states where I would be in a dream state and then shift into full lucidity. This happened more times that I can count so I will relate what little I can remember.

I recall hearing music and talking with someone in the in-between. As I listened, a dream took form and I took part in it knowing I was dreaming but not attempting to take control of it.

In one instance I was shifting in and out of my physical body. It was as if I were being shown how to easily move from one state into another. I have had this happen previously but in the past it was more like I was being pushed into these other states rather than doing it on my own. This time, however, I was aware of my ability to do this and was quite comfortable with it.

I shifted into a scene where I was inside a dark hallway with a staircase. I hid behind the staircase as I observed an individual who was to take me somewhere. I was not fully lucid here and felt a strange apprehension about where this man was going to take me.

I shifted back into my body and felt the familiar vibrations that indicated I was superimposed over my body. I felt I should focus on how my body felt and so I did. I scanned it for energy inconsistencies but found none other than a few slight pools of energy in a few areas.

I shifted back into a dream scene. This time I was in a car heading toward a church. I decided to go into the parking lot and heard someone honk at me. Looking to see who it was, I saw a man shaking his fist at me. I thought, “How angry these church people are”.

A person ushered me into the parking lot and I waited. While inside the vehicle and became very lucid and began to sing a song by Pink. I heard myself singing and felt my vibration raise. I asked aloud about the car I was in, “Why am I seeing the inside of this car all the time?” The dashboard was completely black with all kinds of unfamiliar buttons and knobs on it. It resembled the inside of a plane more than a vehicle and it was very familiar to me.

I then became apprehensive again, but I’m not sure why. I returned consciousness to my body and felt again that I should shift my focus. I shifted it back and forth between states and felt an odd energy in my body that was strangely familiar.

For some reason I began to take huge breaths of air and then I would hold them in and exhale slowly. When I did this I felt I was breathing in energy. The sensation of it was so amazing! My astral lungs filled with large amounts of pleasant, alive energy. It was as if I were breathing in Light!

I took several of these breaths of energy, relishing in the feeling. Each breath built on the last. I felt to be glowing and expanding. The energy was alive!

I knew that if I continued to breathe in this energy that I would go somewhere else, somewhere not of this world, somewhere higher in vibration. Home.

I took another deep breath and the energy came pouring in with greater intensity. I began to get excited as I felt my energy body pulsate and shake. I knew my astral body would break apart. I knew it was dissolving. I knew I was approaching a momentous breakthrough!

And I was ready, oh so ready! I let go entirely, accepting in all the Light with open arms.

Then I slipped back down into my physical body, the energy dissipating instantly.

I was not disappointed. I was comfortable and satisfied.

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Aborted OBE and Messages

Upon waking this morning yet again at a very early hour, I called out to my Team to please help me understand all that had been transpiring over the past few days.

This is what I was told:

  • There is currently a “transmission” being received. I am “processing” this transmission.

I actually received this message more than once. There was simply the word “transmission” followed by a visual of the Earth and space implying this transmission was in the form of energy. I connected it immediately to “Wave X”.

  • My role now is to wait and observe; to be patient and open to the changes coming.

I received this message via a song: All We Are by One Republic. Specifically this part of the song:

We won’t say our goodbyes
You know it’s better that way
We won’t break, we won’t die
It’s just a moment of change

Aborted OBE

This morning I asked to either astral project or lucid dream. I was granted the lucid dream option but kept gaining too much lucidity, ultimately exiting my body and being told, “No” and coming right back into it. The message was that I needed to observe what I was being shown while in the lucid dream.

While in the lucid state I was shown a letter written by me from when I was the age of 5. I read the letter aloud in the dream and was astonished by what it said. Though I cannot remember it word for word now, I recall the what it was about. I was recounting contact with my Team when I was 5 years old. In it I was explaining to the reader how this contact was made and how I was to not remember it until a later date.

I came out of this lucid experience quite suddenly from the shock of reading it. I immediately felt the memory of it fade, like it was not really me, yet I knew it was and that it had happened. The conclusion I drew was that I had been “contacted” at that time to prepare me for later periods of similar contact. I had a strange sensation with this memory that part of me rejected. I still do not remember the specifics of the letter but I know how it made me feel.

Empty Plate

As I continued to experience the lucid state I kept seeing a repeating picture of an empty plate. Sometimes it would have the remains of food on it such as chicken bones and pieces of salad. Other times it would be empty except for some crumbs. I came out of these lucid states remembering dreams that I had long forgotten from this week, dreams where I was walking around holding empty plates and not putting food back on them.

Shoes

I had a brief vision of a pair of small, white tennis shoes hung up on a hook. With it came the feeling of preparing to die. It shook me so much that I came back to full awareness questioning the vision. I received no answer except an urge from within to focus on my heart center, which I did automatically. I immediately experienced a wave of calm that radiated out from my core and I no longer cared about the vision I received.

Lost Memory

I had upon waking a memory of another conversation and written message. The memory was of seeing the planet Earth and discussing a technological tool that would help or hinder those who used it. In other words it could be a tool to help if used properly, or a tool of destruction if used improperly.

When I awoke I was mentally calling this tool by a name and I repeated it several times in an attempt to remember it. Unfortunately, all that remains now is a visual of this “tool” and the name and purpose of it is lost to me. I also recall being very excited about this tool and its potential to help mankind.

A Star Will Be Seen

I had a vision of a large and brilliantly white star in the sky. What was peculiar about the star was that it could be seen in broad daylight. Along with the vision I knew it marked the beginning of something. When I later asked if I was going to see it, I felt I would not. When I asked why, I was told it would be over Bermuda. I wonder if it has anything to do with the Bermuda triangle?

Starseed Origins

Finally, I am being asked to remember my Starseed origins and the experiences I had in May.

The specific memory I keep having from May is of an OBE in which I met my Council and a member of my group who had recently taken her life and prematurely left her incarnation. I had touched her face and said, “You are real. You feel real”, as if I was trying to convince myself that she was still very much real to me. Some hours after this OBE I was hit with the most anguish I have ever felt in this life. It felt like a part of me had been ripped out of me and I grieved heavily for about an hour. I was barely able to function. The grief was incapacitating.

As for my Starseed origins, I am receiving the memory of it and then questioning it, always returning to the knowing that it is Truth. Specifically, I keep returning to the fact that I have been in stasis. I Know this is fact and I wonder to myself, “How long have I been in stasis? I remember so many past lives on Earth. Have I been in stasis all this time? Did I get caught up in the reincarnation cycle and forget my true purpose here? Is that why I have so many lives?”

There is along with these memories of who I am a feeling that I am suppose to do something. It is not quite a nagging feeling, but more of a knowing feeling. It is as if a part of me is trying to come out but is waiting for the right time. And all the while I am writing this, I have a warmth spreading out from my heart chakra.

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Semi-Lucid Dream: Heart Expansion

I awoke around 5:30am and asked to astral project. I fell back to sleep quickly.

I gradually began to gain lucidity. I was in a shallow, rocky pool with others like myself. We were spread out and discussing the healing processes we had each been through. I felt comfortable but at the same time was not sure who these people were or where I was.

There was an older gentleman near me who I had been working closely with. He was very familiar to me. He had blonde hair, or maybe it was white, but had deep furrows in his brow and laugh lines around his eyes and mouth. I assumed him to be about 20 years older than me.

We were talking about the healing sessions but I can’t recall it in detail now. I felt drawn to the man and so moved in closer to him as we talked. There was a moment when I felt a decision was made to proceed to the next “step” in the process. I remember looking at the water and seeing that we were sitting inside a rocky, clear stream. The boulders were dark and smooth and the water shallow but deep enough to cover our legs as we sat in it. I fiddled with several red bricks that were at my feet and looked out of place. I said, “The bricks moved” as I tried to put them back in place.

The man said something to me and I turned and looked at him. His eyes were smiling even though he wasn’t. I made the “decision” then and fell into his arms. It seemed as if I melted into him and at that moment I didn’t care about my life or the consequences of this decision I made. All I knew is that I would give up everything I had to be right here, right now – forever.

As I held onto him I was approached by a little girl. She had dark, curly hair and was very timid-like. A woman was behind her and I felt she was her guide/caretaker. The little girl touched my knee and spoke to me.

“Quiero la verdad”, she said to me softly. But I heard her also say, “Tengo la verdad” at exactly the same time.

Confused, I caught only the word, “verdad” and knew immediately the translation.

“Truth”, I said aloud. “She said, ‘Truth'”.

I then looked behind her at the woman guardian and felt we needed to invite the little girl to/into us.

Heart Connection

The sensation of the connection I had just made woke me up and I lay there in total bliss as the energy of my heart chakra expanded. I felt the presence of my Companion close and knew something was up, but didn’t care. This indescribable feeling was all I cared about. I also knew the little girl who spoke Spanish was me and that she brought with her “truth”.

I tried to figure out what the feeling I felt was. I had been, still was, willing to give up everything for the feeling. It was similar to intense sexual attraction without the sexual part. It was like I had found my other half and there was no way I was about to let it go. (As I type this my heart is expanding again and the feeling makes me want to cry with joy)

My Companion said to me, “We are One”, and as I worried the feeling would leave he said, “It is always there. It will always be there”.

The feeling intensified and I caught myself holding my breath.

“It is beautiful”, I said to him. And it was/IS.

I recognized then that some of my other chakras were sporadically pulling and filling with the blissful energy as well. I felt my second chakra and my third eye the most intensely, but my root chakra also pulled. As I focused on them, I heard my Companion comment on the thoughts I had. My second chakra is nearly cleared and soon there will be a full alignment and the energy will pour in from the top and the bottom. I could only imagine how that would feel. His comment to that was, “Soon”.

I didn’t wan to move or leave. I said to him, “I don’t want this to stop – ever”.

I was instructed to relax and let go, so I did. An image then came to me of a shelf with hay, similar to the nesting boxes of chickens. I saw myself selecting eggs, but these were no ordinary eggs. They were huge, like ostrich eggs, and each was a vibrant color. I saw blue first and reached for it and held it in my hands. It was larger than my hand! I then became fully lucid and said, “They are the chakras!” as I saw a yellow one, an orange one, and a purple one. I looked for the red one and when I saw it the image vanished and I saw myself surrounded by a circle which was clear on the inside but outlined in solid red.

I woke up fully then, still feeling the amazing sensation expanding from my heart center. I rolled over and our conversation continued, but I don’t recall it all now. I was instructed to lay on my back, so I did. I also recall being told to not resume smoking (I quit my one-cigarette a night a week ago today).

The next part will be in my next entry for this one is too long already.