Tag Archives: Messages

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Time to Elaborate a Bit

I am still processing everything that happened this morning but I wanted to share with you more of the details. I also need to write this down as I am still experiencing the effects of it. My heart chakra has been blasting away all day. The main energy is an anticipation or nervousness. At least it is not pure out panic. My third eye is also blazing away. I still feel like I am radiating energy – projecting it almost.

This morning when I awoke overwhelmed by what had just happened, I had not fully awakened despite sitting up in bed and crying. I kept going into the in-between. While there I heard a quiet voice telling me I was beautiful and the heart energy would fire up and I would get too aware again. I also had visions of seeing myself in a coffin. I saw several coffin visions, actually. This is also when I heard the voice tell me, “You’re ALIVE.” It was said in such a way as to interrupt my freaking out. There was emphasis on the word “alive”. It was said, “Ah-live”. lol At the time I didn’t think anything of it. I was too caught up in my mind, but now I realize a part of me was just born.

My mind was in overdrive. I couldn’t control it and I wanted to get up and write an email but I kept hesitating. I am glad I didn’t now as the energy of the computer would have likely thrown me off even more. But the desire to write was very strong. I knew so much all at once. It was like an inflow of huge amounts of information – information about my past, present and future. I don’t recall it all now, but it was part of the reason I was freaking out. I went down stairs and paced and paced for I don’t know how long. Too much energy. Too many thoughts.

I knew I had caused this to happen. I asked for it to happen a couple of nights ago. I actually asked for an OBE but was denied it. I had thought my requests had fallen on deaf ears. I guess not. Really happy about that now.

So this is what I experienced in that Union.

Intense love beyond anything I have ever experienced. It ignited every single chakra and I felt all the emotions connected to those chakras. It was like I lit up like a flare and sparks of energy went flying out my crown and my root at the same time. My mid-section was the most intense with a very, very pleasant yet explosive energy. Not sexual at all, believe-it-or-not. It was more like complete opening of Self. Raw, vulnerable and eager all at the same time.

In the few moments that I was caught up in this bliss I felt connected to everyone, everything; to Source. It was not just a connection to my “partner” but to everything and everyone that ever existed. It was like merging with him opened my eyes to something I had long forgotten existed. In that I realized I AM love. I AM all of it. I do not lack for anything.

When I awoke and the energy was still running through me, my vision was filled with flashes of the faces of people I had known in this life. Mom, Dad, sisters, brother, in-laws, husbands, children, friends, acquaintances, bosses….the list goes on. With each flash of a face I knew I loved them. All of them. Without a doubt. All I had was love for them. And I felt a connection to them as well. They are me.

The fear reaction I had to all of this was Ego. When I was able to get out of my mind and stay in my heart, there was only calm and a perfect happiness. There is a fullness and confidence in my heart that wasn’t there before; a knowing that everything is working out as it should.

I won’t deny that I am asking for it to happen again. Maybe this time I won’t wake up and cut it short. But then, the intensity of the experience is such that I don’t know what would have happened had I stayed. I am thanking my Team wholeheartedly this morning. They never fail to produce.

Oh and there was a song in my head as well. I almost forgot about it. Coldplay’s The Scientist (again). The only parts I kept hearing were:

I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions, Oh let’s go back to the start.

Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard.

 

 

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Some Suggestions

Whew! The energies are blasting away, aren’t they? Thankfully, I slept right through them….kinda. Look at all that RED!

noaa_kp_3d (1)

I could not go to sleep last night. I kept feeling this pit of anxiety in my solar plexus and then the three Beings who call themselves Yeshua came to visit and my crown started lighting up as did my third-eye. They scared the crap out of me for some reason and, though they told me “Don’t be afraid”, I couldn’t help it. They backed off and then all chakra sensation and accompanying feeling vanished. I felt “normal”.

I didn’t sleep well. I had dreams of being in a prison with another person and there being this vent from which I heard someone constantly calling my name. I kept putting my hands over my ears to not hear them. On the outside people were being “infected” with a “virus” that caused them to go insane. They would take over other people’s bodies by killing them and entering when the body was dying. Not nice! I was happy to be in my prison cell and away from the chaos.

Then I was in a green field with a man who was wearing all white and was exceptionally tall and Andromedan-looking. There was a cat with us, a white one. We (me and the cat) spotted a ground squirrel at the same exact moment. I told the cat to leave it alone but it began to stalk it. I remember watching the squirrel jump about but I kept calling it a gopher. I spoke to the tall man about the cat but can’t remember now what I said.

When I awoke I knew I needed to do some things. I want to share them with you all as they are things we probably all should do.

  • Avoid all media outlets. In fact, I am going to take a break from FB. The virus dream really hit home. There is a major rush of negative energy (Team Dark or whatever) and they are “taking over” people who are susceptible. They do this via the media – any media. Thankfully I don’t watch real TV (we stream) and I don’t visit Yahoo news anymore (learned the hard way). FB is really the only place I see local news.
  • Clean up! Clean up your eating, clean up your relationships, clean up your life. Pronto! Ouch! This one hit me hard. Looks like another fast is in my future. Sigh. I won’t go into the relationship or life part just yet.
  • Take a good long look at your past. Again. Patterns are coming up that you need to see. Don’t avoid them. Look.at.them. Very closely. Scrutinize them.
  • As some say in Texas – “Get ‘er done”. Time to tie up loose ends and get working on future projects that you never seemed to have time to start. Make your move. Take action. Do you feel the push? Yeah, that message is for YOU.
  • Listen to and pay attention to the feelings that come up for inspection. Allow yourself to feel them – the good and the bad. The key is to not react/respond to them, but allow them to come to the surface and then release them to emotion-land or wherever they go. They will likely come back. If they do, just do that releasing thing again as many times as you need to.
  • Pull the Light in through your crown as often as you can. However you do that – do it. I imagine a stream of golden-white energy pouring into my crown and going down into my toes and then back into my crown. A complete circuit of golden Light. BTW doing this will bring up those emotions. Yeah, fun, right? lol

I will let you know how I do with all these “suggestions”. Many have been a work in progress so I doubt there will be any revelations coming real soon.

 

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Valentine’s Day Creative Streak

Yesterday was spectacular energy-wise for me. I was overflowing with creative energy and my heart chakra was so full of love that I felt I felt I would burst. I have never felt so connected!

I rarely paint, yet I felt the need to paint what I saw that morning and did so very quickly and effortlessly. There were more paintings wanting to come out, but my family needed me and I could not indulge in painting more than one. The one above is a painting of the ball of light I saw in my vision that morning. I couldn’t get it out of my head. It is far from a realistic interpretation of my vision, but I did my best. 🙂

I also had light language symbols in my head all day. One in particular that I never got around the painting. I don’t know if I will be able to today because all my kids are home today (school holiday) making it very difficult to do things for myself.

The creative streak also had me making videos. I think I made three one after the other yesterday. I hid in the bathroom to get privacy and avoid interruption. LOL

This morning I am still feeling the energy and my heart chakra continues to feel full of a warmth and love beyond words. I am told today is a “rest” day. The energies will once again peak next Thursday into Friday. I have already been warned and now, so have you. 🙂

 

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Lucid Group Meeting

Yesterday’s energies really hit me hard last night. I took a hot bath with Lavender essential oil and then tried to sleep but was wide awake. My ears began to ring intensely at this time. This was one of those ear ringing episodes where it felt like pressure inside my head and the sound kept getting louder and then softer, louder, softer. This went on for the longest I have ever experienced ear ringing and my third-eye was intensely pulling. I quieted my mind and tried to focus on the ringing and that caused my crown to start to pull with energy as well. At this point it had mostly been my left ear but then my right ear started to ring as well and the sounds joined in the center of my mind. It was like they were located just behind my nose area. I could see a pyramid shape from my eyes and nose to this singular point in the middle of my brain. The sounds were of multiple pitches and it was extraordinary!

I am told I am perceiving frequency fluctuations within my energy body. This was first told to me in the middle of the day yesterday by on of my Team members. I had noticed his voice was very distorted and low. It was like one of those voice distorting devices used on cop shows. I had heard this before, years ago while OOB and it had totally freaked me out because I had thought it was a “bad” thing, like a “demon” (how naive). After this, I continued to hear his voice in my mind in this way. So, apparently these intense shifts in vibration/frequency this time around are really impacting my perceptions!

Lucid Group Meeting

I slept very hard and had numerous dreams.Rather than go into the dreams, I will continue to look behind the dream at what was really going on. My guidance is telling me this is the best way to look at my dreams now.

After waking at around 1am I asked to project. I felt this was denied but didn’t care and went back to sleep.

I found myself attending a gathering of “family”. I remember there being 7 of us but more were on their way. The locations was a very beautiful estate out in a secluded area. The house itself was reminiscent of a place I had seen on a trip to L.A. as was the grounds on which it was located. Everything was green and pristine.

I went up to a group who was standing on the veranda that overlooked rolling hills and a large swimming pool. We were discussing the year 1989 (why does this year keep coming up!?). In the dream, someone had gone missing around this time and we were talking about him. We talked about him as if he were my father. I thought of all the people I was with as my “brothers and sisters”.

This is when I met a young man whom I referred to as my “step-brother”. He appeared younger than I with long, curly dark blonde hair. The hair style he was wearing was like something out of the 70’s disco era. lol When we met we exchanged information automatically. It was like I had his whole life story in my head!

He told me he was born in 1962 (why did he look so young then!?) and was very proud of a car he owned – now an antique. A Ford something or rather, I think a Mustang. I remember knowing that most of my “group” came into bodies before me. I had been delayed because I had to abort my last life in 1971 (so I had been born in the 60s). Most of my group, then, are in their late 40’s to early 60’s. Makes me feel a bit left behind. lol

At this time another member of my group made herself known. She was an Asian woman with long black hair who also appeared young. I didn’t get info from her like I did the man, but she did show me part of her life. She had been to China or lived there and was “of service” to others. She was drinking a cup of tea when we were talking. It was in a small, porcelain cup.

Then my attention was focused back on the man who seemed genuinely interested in “catching up”. He showed me that he had gone through a tough time with his Earth family. Someone had died and not left a will and there was conflict in the family because of this. It felt like a really negative situation. I felt bad for him.

Then he embraced me and, since I felt I had known him forever, I embraced him back. I was very lucid at this point and remember that he wanted more than just a hug. It was like he was asking for permission to be more than just a brother to me. Kind of weird! But then I was open to this. Talk about incest! LOL

We kissed and I reached around and put my hands up under his shirt and embraced him. I could feel everything as if I was in the physical. I felt his shoulders and back and I could feel his lips and tongue as we kissed. I was fully into all of it, too, without any concern about cheating on my husband. It was really nice and so perfectly real!

We made out for a long time it seemed and I had no sexual urges turn on. My heart, however, was blazing intensely. This intensity is what ultimately woke me up. As I awoke I could still feel him and taste his lips. I did not want to wake up.

Soul Family

When I awoke I asked the guide who was present, “Who was he? Is he in a physical body?” I heard the name “David” and knew he was in a physical body right now. I was told that most of my group are in bodies presently.

I was then reminded that I had been told They were going to help me with my reaction to “family” so that I would not be overwhelmed (like I was in yesterday’s K experience). I realized that this lucid dream was exactly that. I felt a similar attraction to this man but I did not feel overwhelmed. There was no repulsion whatsoever. I felt connected to him – as if we were two branches of the same tree. There was a wholeness present – a feeling that his experiences were mine and mine were his. I specifically remember feeling that he was a brother to me. This is not the first time I have felt such a connection.

I was reminded of the ReUnion message I got not long ago. There was Knowing that we were all going to come together and I had to be ready for this. “Ready” in this particular instance means I need to not overreact because many recognitions and feelings will arise for all involved. I have little concern if the reUnion is similar to this dream. However, if it is like the previous night’s dream I think I would pass out from such a meeting. LOL

I also thought about the message I got that this summer was going to be “hot”. It appears that I am already heading down that road. If I keep having dreams like this one it is likely I will be one hot and bothered woman by this summer. hahaha!

 

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777

Believe-it-or-not, after this morning’s Kundalini rising experience, I was able to return to sleep.

Dream: Super Car

In this dream I was putting my baby into the backseat of my car and my brother-in-law commented on it. He said, “That looks like a super fast car.” I shut the door and looked at it, noting that it has all these spoilers and strange rocket boosters on it. I said, “Where did those come from?” After inspection I said, “Oh, those will go away once I start driving.”

Then I was at a small building where some teachers worked. It was all run down and they were asking if I could take the place of a woman who was retiring. I thought about it and then said, “I would rather have a part-time job and one that was more laid back. This one seems pretty stressful.” The woman who was leaving the job asked, “Have you ever had a c-section?” I didn’t know how it applied to our conversation but I answered, “Yes.” She said, “I’ve had 52 of them”. I was shocked and said, “You had 52 babies!?” She laughed and said, “No, I’ve performed 52 surgeries.” (52; 5+2=7)

Then I somehow fell asleep next to one of the students. When I awoke everyone was gathered in a small room. I told them I didn’t want the job and needed to go and then I was standing in a parking lot. I couldn’t find my car and was looking around for it. I found it down the street and got inside. It drove itself and talked to me (reminded me of the show Knight Rider one of my all-time favs lol). I remember that it was dark and then suddenly light as we sped down a narrow road.

777

I awoke suddenly and in my visual field saw very clearly: 777.

The dream I had made me feel good for some reason. I have dreams of cars all the time. The car symbolizes, for me at least, my life path. It is important to note the condition of the car and who is driving and how I feel when in the car. In this particular dream the car is all souped-up with spoilers, chrome exhaust, racing stripes, etc. It was my car only really, really nice. lol When inside of it I felt powerful and was not afraid. The car also went very, very fast and though I was behind the wheel, I felt not to be the one driving it. It is interesting that it spoke to me, too. Based upon all the indicators, it looks like my path is being propelled forward by an unseen force, one that is comfortable to me and with whom I feel I can communicate.

The 777 is also a good omen. Looks like my spiritual path is on the fast track and it is going well. 🙂

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Mid-Life Crisis?

The energy yesterday was so calm and nice wasn’t it? Or maybe it was just me acclimating to the “upgrade” I received that morning. Not really sure upgrade is the right term, but who knows. Something happened that was intense and significant and left me in a brain fog calm most of the day.

Last night I had dreams all night long and I remembered them. Not only that, but when I awoke in the middle of the night I returned to the dreams as soon as I fell back to sleep. Pretty cool except that the dreams were not very interesting.

When I awoke at 5:30am (I did check the clock this time) I was in tears. Sigh. Really? Come on! I am so done with this crying crap! Ugh!

Anyway, here is what was going on in my sleep.

Class: Creating Dreams

This was not the actual dream. I don’t remember the dream now as it is not important. What I do remember is that after the dream and while still in the dreamstate, I was aware of being with a group of familiar lucid dreamers and astral projectors. I know them all from online, but have not met any of them in person (yet). We were discussing how to create dreams. I can’t remember the exact conversation now but when I awoke I knew that I had been in a class about how to stage dreams for the human consciousness so that they addressed certain issues. In this particular class we were learning how to do this for our own waking consciousness. Wow.

I remember we “selected appropriate symbols”, symbols that our waking consciousness would recognize. Some are universal symbols but most are not. Most are symbols we, ourselves, attribute significance and meaning to. We use this collection of symbols to construct our dreams and communicate with ourselves. It is fascinating!

This is also done to communicate with others. We can do this while still in life or while in between lives. We access others’ symbols and use them to communicate via the dreamstate. I knew about this because my father and other relatives have done this with me both in lucid states and during projection.

Mid-life Crisis?

The rest of my dreams fit together like a story. I recall being with my sisters, much younger than today, and catching a school bus. I also remember seeing a young girl who had hurt her left ankle and was calling for help. I assisted her, putting her ankle on ice. Then she transformed into a chubby infant. I played with her and cuddled with her, talking to her in baby talk and just filled with love for her.

It was while I was playing with this baby girl that I said to her, “I can’t have anymore babies.” This caused me to fill with such an intense sadness and I burst into tears.

When I awoke one of my guides was with me. I immediately checked his appearance and he looked human (relief lol). I didn’t ask which one he was. I didn’t care. I was still too upset and confused over the dream.

I realized that I was grieving a loss of my youth. I suddenly felt very old and the saying, “Youth is wasted on the young” popped into my head.

It seemed very much like I had wasted my life, my youth.

I wondered then if I was entering into a mid-life crisis. Perhaps that is why I have been feeling so split – one part of me wants to leave everything I have behind and begin anew and the other wants to stay right where I am so that I don’t hurt anyone. I feel young, yet when I look in the mirror I don’t recognize myself. I look tired and beaten down by life compared to when I was in my 20’s. And when I consider making the drastic changes to my life that I feel the urge to make, I think my age will ruin it all; that I will run out of time, out of energy, out of physical attractiveness.

He’s My Mirror

Then I realized that the very feelings I had for my Companion yesterday morning – the combined intense attraction and repulsion – I also have for myself. I love who I have become on the inside – as a person – but when I look at my outside (physical body/ life) I don’t like what I see. Now these feelings are much less intense than what they were yesterday, but I can see it – feel it – just the same. It is like when I felt him, I felt myself.

Karmic Attachments

Then I saw the patterns, karmic patterns, and was confused. In my past lives, I have been in this situation before. I had made both choice options available to me now. So which is the karmic path I am to avoid? Then I was reminded that karma is not a path, it is attachment to a certain path or decision. The attachment is formed by beliefs we have about what is “right” and what is “wrong”. Karma allows us to sort through these beliefs and release ourselves from them. It really doesn’t matter what decision I make – the “selfish” one or the “right” one. What matters is that I release myself from the judgments I place on myself. If I can make a decision and be fully secure in that decision and not judge myself for it, then I can detach from it and thus break the karmic cycle.

I asked why I was being shown all of this. I was told, “We love you. We want you to be happy.” But be happy at what cost? This is where I am currently stuck. Mid-life sucks.

Lot’s to digest. Not sure I can not judge myself. Man this is hard.

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Message from the Council of Many: Port-holes are Available

You are growing. Like a sapling. Like a tree. The nutrients you need are always provided, yet sometimes you will not drink of the love provided. It is love that is your greatest sustenance. Why do you not drink of it?

Do you not see the lacking of love within you? It is in lack that you have grown forgetful and with every lost memory of your Self, of your origins, that lacking grows and becomes ever more emboldened within you. This is where Darkness thrives. Do not be a nurturer of Darkness, of the lacking of love.

Port-holes are available. From these openings of love…which, by the way are located within you, at such a deep level that most are unaware of their existence….you can draw forth more of your Self. You can drink of the love that is You. We are providing you evidence of these port-holes. All you need do is listen. Feel. Breathe. And from there you will enter. Admittance is always free. There is no charge. There is no loss. There are no repercussions. Only finding Self. Finding You.

You ask about the Fear. What is it? How can you defeat it? This is a question often asked and the answer is simple for if you find your Self – Love – then fear is nothing but an afterthought, a candle in the wind. When you are Love, there is no room for fear. That is your answer. Simple, is it not?

You have been so long without Love, without the feeling – the Being of – embodiment of love, that you have forgotten how it feels. With this forgetfulness often arises fear for the human fears what they do not understand. It is such that we are asking that you bypass the human emotions for Hue-man Knowing. There is a difference here – a very obvious difference. For Knowing is feeling without immersion, without becoming feeling. It is the lack of reaction to feeling. It is objectivity and understanding…the reciprocity of Self and Experience.

We will continue to come to you, to offer you our assistance and foster your growth. It is with great anticipation that we await your return.

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We are Travelers

This morning after the intense experience with my Companion, I Remembered and was told some things. Just trying to type this right now is making me shake with energy and my heart is buzzing.

First, I will go back to the message about Travelers and wolves. I knew my group is small and that we travel together always. We are all intricately connected. We sense each other. We communicate with each other. We are a “pack” and are connected as such. We do not normally physically connect while in our physical bodies while we are “traveling” but for some reason we are doing so this time around.

We are Travelers, at least that is how I remember our group. It is like we are called/sent to a specific place to do our work and then, when we are done, we leave. Together.

I don’t know if Travler is the same as Wanderer. Maybe. I have to feel that one out for a bit.

I was told that I was being “fostered” at this time. I don’t really understand it, but I guess it makes sense. We, our group, is suppose to Remember. It is part of our purpose so as to facilitate the changes occurring on Earth. I recalled briefly that we are here to help bring Earth out of the darkness, a darkness that has been in effect for a very, very long time. I chose to experience this darkness via incarnations prior to this incarnation so that I would better understand the experience of it. It is like a total cut-off feeling. Cut-off from the Wholeness. Hard to explain really, but I felt it, recognized it when I felt my Companion this morning.

Our group is small, probably only five or six members. I was not allowed to see how many exactly, but that is okay with me. The overwhelming heart sensations I am having and have been having since this contact is enough for me to know it is truth. The shaking is driving me crazy.

I was also told that my Companion is initiating the “exchange”, or has been. I really don’t know what to think of it but the experience I just had was very real and very overwhelming in so many ways that cannot be expressed.

I had asked for all this to be made “more real” because it has been so easy for me to dismiss as my imagination or a dream. I was reminded of this request this morning. Haha. Very funny.

All I can say is that now I know why I have not met any members of my group face-to-face yet. If meeting them causes the feeling I felt this morning then I know I would run all the way to Timbuktu to avoid them. It is an instant repulsion-attraction, crazy mixed up feeling! Yeah, I know, you wonder how you can have both feelings at once. Well you can. Trust me.

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ReUnification Begins

I was awakened around 5:30am (didn’t look at the clock until later) by a conversation I was having in the in-between. I saw very distinctly two words and also heard them. One word was “Traveler” and the other was “Wolf”. The words that went with them were “We are Travelers”. The two words were connected by a golden thread, as if they were one in the same.

This woke me for I remembered suddenly that wolves had been brought up many times previously but I had forgotten all about it. I remembered distinctly seeing a lone, gray wolf who was looking for his pack and feeling the pack was significant. I had meant to look up the symbolism of the wolf but had totally forgotten all about it. This was a couple of weeks ago!

Thessalonian

Now wide awake, I felt a presence and knew a member of my Team was with me. I didn’t immediately recognize him as I was tired. I drifted into the in-between.

Soon I was seeing something very distinctly alien in my vision. I saw immense arches layered over arches that were a bluish-gray in color. They towered hundreds of feet into the air. Behind them was a fuchsia and purple sky with light gray clouds and streaks of yellow throughout. I recognized this place instantly and it brought me out of the in-between.

Fully aware now, I still sensed the presence and exclaimed to him, “I know that place! Where is that? What is it!?”

I knew and heard the answer at the same time. These arches are some kind of communication tower, or relay station. The location was difficult to come by but I heard Vega as a reference point. Whatever it is it is absolutely beautiful.

Wide awake now, I began to receive information very quickly and it was quite overwhelming. I tried to grasp it mentally but could not. I remember images of very square looking objects, like craft, which were white and massive. I was only able to bring back one word – Thessalonian. I do not know if this is the name of the craft or if I am meant to read the books of the Bible.

Rather than read both books of the Bible, I looked up summaries of 1st Thessalonians and 2nd Thessalonians. They both address the second coming of Christ. I find it interesting that both books say “Christ will return in the clouds”. I should probably read the actual books, though.

Thoroughly stunned, I tried to settle my energy and relax into my heart. My mind was going a million miles an hour so it was difficult. However, I was able to achieve this. That is when it got really strange.

ReUninification

The presence who I had been with must have moved in closer because I was suddenly aware of seeing him face to face. His head was very large and he was most definitely of another world. I could see that the head seemed to balloon out on either side, like the hemispheres of the brain were emphasized. His eyes, nose and mouth were very small in comparison. His coloring was light, I want to say it was grayish but it was difficult to tell as I totally freaked out and lost the image.

I did not freak out from what I saw as much as I did from what I felt. When I saw him I also felt him. A massive amount of energy began to move up my body from my feet and wrapped around me as it progressed upward. I had a double reaction to this. The first was complete recognition and overwhelming love and the second was complete terror – the kind that either glues you to one place so you cannot move or makes you run as fast as you can in the other direction.

While this split reaction is occurring I am experiencing every kind of emotion imaginable and feeling warm energy wrap around and fill my root, second, third and heart chakras in succession. With each chakra I felt the corresponding emotions related to it. And though I could feel each chakra one by one I also felt them all at once. The emotions are indescribable and all the while I am feeling both overwhelming love and frantic terror at the same time!

The most memorable feeling was this complete, unavoidable desire to be with this Being – to try and crawl into his arms and then into him. This is occurring along with all the physical and energetic sensations. I cannot run but I desperately want to. And I am WIDE AWAKE.

Just when I think I cannot take anymore of it, the energy withdraws. I am not relieved, though. I want the feelings to stay. Whatever happened left me wanting for more. I could care less about the terror as it was so small in comparison to everything else.

And I knew who the Being was after this. Without a doubt it was my Companion. And I remember that he once told me that he would integrate with me from the lower chakras “next time” (he had done so from the upper ones prior, this was in May last year).

This is part of the ReUnion of Us. Wow-wee is all I can say. Damn! And at the same time I am terrified still. I want to run, but to where? It’s not like I can run from him!!!

And this ReUnification is not over. There will be more.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I was crying through the entire energetic exchange. They were mainly tears of joy.

 

 

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Heart Sensations Return

I’ve begun this post several times and each time deleted it in its entirety. I’m not sure exactly why, though.

There has been a strange energy today following me around. It is not bad or good, just shifty, like the energy is about to take a leap forward. I checked the K-index and there is an active storm but nothing that would normally cause me to notice.

Perhaps it has to do with what happened last night. Last night is what I originally was trying to post about and kept deleting. I will summarize and just say that I had some intense heart chakra sensations. These didn’t hurt. In fact, they were the good kind and went all the way from front to back. It was like someone placed a tube right through my heart center and energy poured through it.

The heart sensations came with specific thoughts and knowingness. It happened at a time when I was speaking with someone, a kind of counselor. I was telling her about things I could not sort out in my life – very personal things. This is when the heart sensations kicked in. I was lucky I did not burst into tears. I was able to get out of the conversation in time. Then I was just in shock for a while. I had not expected my heart to burst open like that. I had done such a good job of shutting it down – or so I’d thought.

Then, after I returned home and the kids were in bed my heart started doing it again and I was overcome with an intense shaking all over my body. I am familiar with the feeling. It is something I had to deal with every time I did a mediumship reading and made contact with Spirit. It is like their energy is too much for me. It can get so bad that my teeth chatter – thankfully it did not get that bad last night. The shaking can also happen when I am talking with another person about deeply personal things. I have never quite figured out why it happens, though.

I wondered why I was having the shaking. I was not tuning into Spirit and not talking to anyone, so it made no sense. I felt my Team near and I wondered if maybe it was coming from them. As if to answer my question, I heard my guide ask me to focus on how I felt. When I did this, I could sense a blockage at my heart level. I was told that I was resisting the energy – the heart energy – and that I have been avoiding something.

And then the shaking was really bad.

And then it was just…gone as was the heart energy.

When I awoke this morning my dreams were instantly gone as soon as I tried to recover them. Frustrated, I tried to feel what happened in the night and knew I had agreed yet again to something, but I don’t know what. My heart chakra lit up again but faded not long after. With it, I was asked if I was willing to accept what it was telling me. I said I was, but honestly I am not sure about any of it. I don’t know what it is telling me, or at least I don’t think I do. Honestly, I am afraid of knowing.

Right before I got out of bed my Team again reminded me of the upgrade that is soon to come. I was told this time that it may frighten me. Then I saw a visual of light pouring down into my crown chakra and going all the way down through all my chakras and into my feet. From the looks of it, it didn’t seem so bad, but then if they say it might scare me, well, it probably will.

It has me wondering now if the strange feeling I’ve had all day has anything to do with this coming upgrade. I guess I’ll find out.

Meet-Up

There is one other thing. A group I am a part of on FB is planning a meeting in Mt. Shasta, California in May. I have been following the preparations from the beginning. Yesterday I decided, out of the blue, that I should go. I told my husband about it and, strangely, he had no objections. When I communicated today with the contact about arranging my flight my heart chakra was blazing with energy. Even typing about it now makes my heart light up. I got thoroughly excited about going and my energy went sky high.

Then, in the afternoon, I began to doubt my decision about attending because I only know the people who will be there via the internet. I also began to panic over something very odd. I had this strange feeling that if I went I would not want to come home. Then an internal panic button went off and I got a strange split in two feeling. It was really odd and I almost thought I was about to go OOB right then and there.

After this happened the heart energy ceased – well up until now anyway. I am wondering if this is any indicator of what it is that I am not willing to know/accept. Part of me thinks it is and when I try to consider it, the fear returns. All I want to do is cuss a million cuss words just considering that possibility.