Tag Archives: Messages

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Guideposts, Preparation Stages and Targets

I have been in constant comm with my guide today. I woke up with him there and he has stayed close throughout the day. When I do my “check-in’s” during the day (the 5 minutes mini-meditations I was told to start doing yesterday morning), as soon as I close my eyes and focus on my third eye and heart a warmth spreads over me which originates from my heart space and spreads outward. Sometimes this warm energy, this “welcoming” energy, starts as soon as I sit down, before I even have a chance to tune in. When that happened today I actually laughed and I swear I saw him standing there in front of me with a smirk on his face.

I’ve been spending a lot more time outside than I was, too. Today while I was walking with my youngest my guide and I had a full-on communication cycle. We discussed the safeguards I put in place prior to this life and the personal guidance system, or navigation system, we all have when we incarnate in physical bodies.

Guideposts, Preparation Stages and Targets

I recalled prior knowledge of before this incarnation. It was not vivid, like a specific memory, but more of a knowing of the process that occurs before we descend into a human body, or any physical body for that matter. I saw that I practiced this life through a sort of simulation process where I enacted over and over again certain points in my life that were important – points that I did not want to get wrong, couldn’t get wrong or else I might go off course. I did not see exactly how this was done but if felt like I actually rehearsed, similar to how actors rehearse for a big production of a play. Yet I did not rehearse everything – only certain things. These specific scripts which I practiced over and over beforehand are to help guide me, acting like “guideposts” to get me to the next big “target” in my life. These targets are spread all over my life and vary. Some may even be considered inconsequential by the looks of them by an observer, but they are not. Others are more obviously big life events such as marriage, the birth of a child or graduation from college. I did not ask what mine were – I knew that was not allowed.

I was told that most of life is spent in what my guide called “the preparation stage”. With this I saw a graph depicting long plateaus with sporadic peaks in between. The plateaus are these preparation stages.  During these “down times” we have not planned specifics of our life. It is left to us to decide what to do and what direction to go. The only planned thing we do during this time is prepare for our next target. This is mostly done unconsciously either while we sleep or via our multidimensional aspects. Very little of what we actually do in physicality is important. It is, in actuality, a time of free will exploration of self. At least that is how it is for me. Some people planned their lives in more detail. I, for some reason, wanted to allow this dead time to see how I would respond to it without there seeming to be any “direction”.

For some reason at this time in my life I being allowed to view some of the background work that is being done behind the scenes. I was told point blank that I am currently in a “preparation stage”. I have no idea what I am being prepared for other than that it is my next “target”. I was reassured that I was on the correct and predetermined path I set for myself. I think perhaps my path looks like a maze made up of squiggly lines rather than a straight road!

My guide told me that during this preparation stage I will be learning how to be more in tune; integrating the spiritual and physical aspects and using them together as they were meant to function. As with all preparation stages I can decide how I want to spend my Earthly time as it makes little difference at this point in time. I’m not exactly sure how to take this news. Is it good or bad? Hmmm.

I wondered then, if I did something drastic wouldn’t it affect my life if done during this time? I was told that my navigation system would warn me if what I decided to do was too “drastic” which just basically means too far off course to be viable.

Think of it this way: We are piloting a craft, our body/life here on Earth. But we are doing so while in the dark. The only way we know that we are on course is by tuning into the built in navigation system of the craft. This was installed prior to life to our individual specifications. The system will not tell us where to go but it will tell us when we go off course. It does this by sounding “alarms”. These alarms come in many different packages from illness to dis-ease and strange life happenings that seem coincidental but are not. The more in-tune one is to this system (meaning the more you know it is there and how to use it) the better. Yes, the warning system will be heard regardless but it does not mean we will know what it means and listen. However, if you know what it means and how to tune in to determine how to stay on track then you can avoid the uncomfortable after effects of a “close call”.

Interestingly, I have been well tuned to my navigation system all my life. “It just needs some tweaks”. At least that is what my guide says. What that means I don’t know. Perhaps I just need a little less stubbornness and a little more love. 🙂

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Disengagement Brings Humility

So I guess you’ve all figured out that I have been having a huge freak-out these last few days. It’s unwarranted, really. There’s no reason other than that I was reacting to things not turning out quite how I would’ve like them to. This is a normal pattern for me. Too many losses in a short period of time and I shut down and my Ego takes over and throws a “tantrum”.

Big Fail

The biggest loss for me has been my business venture. Despite doing everything “right”, sales are very slow and I’m not reaching my goals. I don’t understand what I did wrong except that maybe I just chose the wrong product or maybe it is that too many people have discovered the business and so it is inundated with too many similar products. Whatever it is, I have accepted the loss. I am no longer as upset as I was, but I am disappointed for sure.

Too Many Expectations

I realized that I had too many grand expectations of what was to come for me spiritually once I left my job. I stupidly thought that once I eliminated the stress and wasted time of going to and from work, that it would free me up to receive more spiritual insight and have more spiritual experiences. I thought everything would kick into high gear and I would be “enlightened” further by Remembering more and connecting more intensely with my Higher Self.

How naive.

What it seems is really happening is the opposite. I left work and have more time but everything spiritually has come to a standstill, or it appears that way.

I also had a grand idea of what it would be like to teach my middle son. He has been anything but compliant. I have been having to bribe him to do “school”, which I have found is a big mistake. So I am changing tactics and so far it is working. We do “projects” together and he is much more willing to cooperate. I am finding he is much better at writing his letters than I thought and his big heart is what leads him to want to learn to do more. We spend a lot of time making cards for people he loves and playing games together. So different than I expected yet I am learning a great deal about my son and just how big his heart is.

This was what he made today:

jade

letter to jade

Sick and Disengaged

Instead of spiritual enlightenment I got a nasty cold. I am still recovering, but it is so much better. I only have a slight cough in the morning now. I realize that this illness is likely a result of incorporating the higher energies which involves much purging of the old. It is no surprise then that my Ego would throw a tantrum. It is a normal part of the process.

I forgot, of course, all of this, and so disengaged further from my Team of guides and assistants. To my Ego mind it was all “their fault” which further angered me and distanced me from them.

I stopped tuning in after waking in the mornings. Instead I was angry and withdrew. It was not that my Team was not there but that I did not want to listen or acknowledge them.

Suggestions

When I awoke this morning I was less angry and so more open. I heard instantly, “Nothing has changed but you”. I felt the energy begin to build in my back at my heart center and it suddenly stopped. Instantly I recognized that I stopped it. And I understood. They were always there; always are there. And really, nothing has changed in my life except my perception of it. It shut me down and cut me off from them.

I had heard them, too. I remember. I heard them say, “Do not resist” and I ignored them. I felt their energy many times over the past few days and I shut myself down to it. It was like I was trying to punish them – but it only served to punish me.

With this understanding I relaxed and began to accept. I was then instructed to resume my morning meditation and asked to do a type of fasting today – a liquid only diet where I drank my food. I can have dairy and veggies and fruits. This is only for today, so not a full-on cleanse and I am not completely sure why I am doing it but I will do it without resistance. I have been eating vegetarian with fish, but recently I made an entire dinner of fish with rice and veggies and when I ate the fish and rice they tasted “off” so I only ate the veggies while my kids scarfed down the entire meal. I should’ve known something was up then.

The message this morning was a reminder that right now I am learning to incorporate the spiritual into my daily life – it is learning to balance the two but its not what I had previously thought. The balance comes with continual tuning in throughout the day so as to not get swept up into the mundane which can completely shut off our spiritual lifeblood. It is like turning on and off a faucet. Right now I am being shown it is dripping, but what it should be a continual stream flowing in. To do this requires set breaks throughout the day where I shut off all distraction and tune in. It does not mean hours or even a half hour but maybe 5 to 10 minutes only. This should be scheduled in three to six times a day depending on the need. This is in addition to morning and nightly tuning in. These are not necessarily “meditation” breaks either. They are sitting quietly away from distractions (no phone, no t.v., no computer) and focusing on the third eye and heart at the same time, ideally in nature or near an open window so the sun’s rays can be felt/sensed.

With two very busy children this will be a challenge. I will see how it turns out today. I am told if I do this that I will notice my edginess lessening and my mind clearing.

It seems always that I take one step forward and two steps back. Time to step forward again.

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The Troubles

The Troubles by U2

You think it’s easier
To give up on the trouble
If the trouble is destroying you
You think it’s easier
But before you threw me a rope
It was the one thing I could hold on to

This song has been a theme-song for me the past 24-36 hours. I am not exactly sure what it means but it has been in my head two mornings in a row upon waking.

I am in the midst of another purge I think. It is not a huge one, at least not as big as some of the ones from the past. My energy, physically, emotionally and mentally, is low. I feel like it is being siphoned off throughout the day and by the end I have nothing left.

I feel once again DONE with life. I am fed up with this place and all the negative, heaviness that pervades it. So I have been asking to finish up and get out of here. I have been bargaining again with my guides. “Please just let me come Home now. I don’t care if I have to come back another lifetime to finish what I didn’t finish in this life. I just don’t want to do this anymore”. All I receive in response are Spirit hugs.

What bothers me the most is that I don’t have motivation at all. Usually when I am feeling like this I can find something to hold onto, some kind of hope that things will improve; some kind of change I can make that brings back that missing spark. There is nothing there. When I look into the future, to the “what if’s” I see only dead ends, paths I have been on before and don’t want to return to.

Dream: Finished

My sleep was fitful for the first half of the night. I didn’t feel I was resting and I don’t remember my dreams. This morning I recall only the end of one dream.

I was in a city walking towards a destination with a friend. The streets were paved with cobblestone. We parked (not sure where the car came from) and went inside. The teacher was an older gentleman and I felt we had been to his class before. I remember that I wanted to go hear him speak because it was a rare event, but I can’t recall what he was speaking about.

We were laying down to listen and I remember only pieces of this part. I saw candles lit and knew I was laying near a man. At one point I knew the covers had come off me, exposing my bare backside. I didn’t care but I knew the man was trying not to look and this amused me.

When class ended I somehow was the last to leave. It was like it had ended way earlier and I had been asleep or distracted so missed the dismissal. I went outside to find my friend and her car was gone. She later returned in it saying she had gone to get some pizza. She seemed to want to celebrate something but I didn’t feel like celebrating and didn’t want any pizza.

As I awoke I remember talking to someone. I was bargaining with them, saying I was done and wanted to leave this life early. As I grew more conscious I saw a piece of paper in front of me. It was divided into four parts and I knew these were elements corresponding to regions of the Earth and duties of those in these areas. I rejected this Plan and pushed the vision out of my mind. Then I saw a large word as if stamped on a paper in my mind. It said, “Finished”. It was in red ink.

Remembering

I can’t seem to shake this feeling that I don’t belong here and that I never have belonged. Right now this feeling is very strong. The more I Remember who I am, the stronger it gets.

I have been having flashbacks of this life, as if I am reviewing it again. My dreams are of my past again and of people who I feel I have wronged, though it is becoming clearer to me that it was part of the plan and my “wrongs” were purposeful for some reason.

I am also flashing back to my youth, to times when I had conversations with my guide without knowing that was what I was doing. One of my earliest memories of this is of me sitting on the ground because my stomach was hurting really bad. The silent voice told me to be still and it would pass. So I did and it went away shortly after. I don’t know how old I was (7?), but the memory is so vivid and I see myself as if outside of myself, sitting on the side of the concrete drive. My hair was short and I was so small but so very strong (and pig headed!).

There is another flashback to my teen years when the first longings for Home became unbearable. I remember conversing with someone. Back then I just thought I was just talking to myself. I was told how long it would be before I would meet “the One”. I saw 30 in my mind and it seemed so very far away, so far away I couldn’t bear it. So I prayed for someone to be sent to me, someone for the interim, so I wouldn’t have to be alone. He was sent when I was 17 and upon meeting him I knew I had a choice and I made it despite knowing he was not “the One”. I thought it would be better, but turns out I felt more alone than ever during that time.

Next Step?

Out of the blue yesterday, while feeling so very down and out, I understood that I would have to eventually go back to work. This saddened me because I do not feel the desire to return to the workplace. I feel unfulfilled there (there being in the education system) and want to do something different, but what that is I am not sure.

I saw a pattern in my life. A pattern concerning my career path. It felt like I was sent some place for a certain amount of time and then, when I was “done”, would be sent to another place. And so on and so forth. If I stayed too long at a place, a place where I was done, events would eventually push me to leave. The longer I stayed, the more difficult it would be to stay to the point that it would begin to start physically affecting me. This is clear to me now, but I feel the resistance inside me. A part of me wants to stay in one place, to be happy in that place. Yet I feel I am not programmed that way. I will always feel the need to move on. What is hardest about moving around so much is that I don’t know why I am at the places I am. It just seems like I am wasting time.

So I grieved in knowing that I would have to return to work, most likely back to counseling. It will just fall in my lap again. That is always how it works. I feel I want/need to work again and then presto it appears as if a gift in a little package.

I don’t like that I feel pushed this way and that in life, as if a string is tied to me that leads me where I am suppose to go. I feel like a puppet.

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Light Show

As I attempted sleep last night I was bombarded by what appeared to be a laser light show behind closed eyelids. It was faint but it was there and it was blue. The energy shot across my line of sight and then back and then seemed to form images that would disappear as soon as they formed. The energy of this light appeared linked with my brain in some way because I could feel it in my head. It’s hard to describe but I do have one experience that is similar. A long time ago I use to take Zoloft but hated it and so stopped it suddenly. When I did this I had strange electrical “zaps” inside my head. It felt like I had been attached to a light socket or something but it was IN my head. Anyone who has suddenly stopped an antidepressant (SSRI in particular) would know the feeling. The energy in my head last light was vaguely similar. It was way less intense but a similar feeling.

I was being given a message at the time which I now do not fully remember.

Earlier in the day I received sudden messages in the form of just Knowing. I feel these messages are linked to the strange energy/light laser show because the main message was that I would be opening up from the crown again to Receive. I saw a mental image in my mind of a very large amount of light coming down into my crown chakra. The size of the crown chakra was the size of the entire top of my head! This energy shot all the way down through my body and into the ground. I was told not to fear this. Then the messages stopped just as suddenly as they came.

No strange downloads or anything thus far, but I have been very pessimistic lately. Not sure if it related or not.

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Group Karma and a Kundalini Surge

Last night was an intense one. I woke several times from a dream that just kept going. The dream isn’t what is important, though, as it was just symbolic of what was transpiring through the night. What is important is what I brought back from it.

Group Karma

The first time I awoke from the dream I was confused and it took me a while to realize I had been dreaming. In the dream I was convinced that my life had turned out differently. In that life I had made choices in my childhood; acted on impulses that resulted in me murdering another child and then covering it up. My siblings were in on it, specifically my older sister who then  committed a similar crime when she was much older.

Once I realized it was only a dream I knew that I was discussing group karma. I knew that my siblings and I had done something in previous lives that we were “fixing” and we were doing it together.

I fell back to sleep and dreamed of a trial. We had been caught and we were being sentenced. I got only 7 years as my sentence but my sister got much longer. She had known what she was doing; had intentionally done it and planned to do it. Me, on the other hand, had acted impulsively without consideration for the consequences. I remember feeling sad for my sister because she would have to do more time than me.

I woke again understanding that my time was meant to be served in conjunction with hers, which is why we incarnated as siblings in this life. The specifics of it are not known but the feeling I had confirmed I was right.

When I fell back to sleep, the dream continued but this time the person I was doing time with was my husband. When I awoke from this part of the dream I recognized our contract/agreement was meant to balance karmic debt. It felt like he was my sibling in a previous life. What is interesting is that it felt like the previous life was one not on Earth or if it was on Earth it was hundreds of thousands of years ago.

Metallic Box

While in the in-between sometime after the first waking, I witnessed a small metallic box floating in from of me. It appeared to have a white, cotton-like substance bursting from it and looked almost like a sandwich with metallic layers. I saw strange symbols and writing on it. I remember saying a name that sound like Metroika but I don’t believe this is correct. I know for sure I saw a capital “M” very pronounce in the center of the silver box and there was also a “T” in the middle of the name. As my awareness peaked I saw the cotton substance form into angel wings on either side of the box and knew the message was from a Being that would have been labeled as an angel or archangel. Metatron was the name that came to mind.

Kundalini Surge

In the early morning hours I experienced an odd Kundalini surge. In a dream I met with a man who I remember was the owner of a restaurant. He had given free meals to two of my friends but had not given me one. I was irritate by this and questioned him about it. He then took me with him on a walk and I remember knowing he was 40 years old. I was pleased that I was younger than him. I recall feeling that the years of life from 40 to 50 were significant for me but I did not know why.

At some point this man and I kissed but it was not normal. It was like we merged into each other. Where we touched felt huge, like a bubble of energy forming. My mouth felt very strange, like I was blowing a bubble that expanded to include all of my head except for the crown. My root and second chakra also had this bubble-like energy and I could feel them blowing up with energy. My crown chakra oscillated with energy but mostly it felt to be shooting energy straight up.

I could feel this man physically and when I touched him the energy increased. I know that I wanted the energy to move and was demanding it to do so, but this must not have been the right time because the more I willed the energy to rise, the more it went out rather than up.

When I finally came to full awareness my lower body felt warm and tingly and HUGE. I felt the energy of the man who was in my dream. It came from above me to my left and felt huge as well. I could feel the residual energy still lingering and my crown was still active.

Message

Prior to heading to bed I suddenly received communication from a guide/Being whom I had not met before. His energy was big but not imposing. He said to me, “You are not alone”. I responded with, “I know”, but I received back from him that the meaning of this particular message was that I was going to be contacted by others whom I do not normally communicate with.

I accepted the message and went on with my day but right before bed I was again met with the energy and the message repeated. This time I saw in my mind a visual of me recording myself channeling information. I don’t recall the message word-for-word now but I was being asked to channel information from these Beings.

I also remembered suddenly my encounter in 1989. I remember very little from that night but what I do remember was seeing a UFO up close and personal. I wondered about why it was that only I saw it? I wondered what happened during the time my memory is unclear? I heard then, “We chose you because you can see”. I asked then to remember whatever was lost, if it was significant. I have yet to remember but I hope I do.

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Sick and Feeling Sick

I have had this cold far too long. Part of me feels it will never go away. I cough so much in the morning that my stomach hurts and I get a headache. I am fine during the day at least.

Unfortunately, the illness seems to have taken with it all my spiritual bliss and energy sensations. My third eye which had been blazing with energy for weeks suddenly stopped blazing. I am lucky if I get even a smidgen of energy there. Similarly, I have not felt any activity in any of my other chakras either.

This cold has me thinking it will turn into full blown pneumonia. I keep thinking that all my requests to go Home are going to come about with me dying a miserable, suffocating death by pneumonia.

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

My connection with my Team has diminished significantly as well. I won’t say they are gone but it feels as if they are farther away. When I hear my guide his energy is more muted and I struggle to believe I am even talking to him, convincing myself that it is my Ego making it up so that I don’t feel alone.

Thankfully I do still get occasional warm rushes of energy from my guide. This alleviates my paranoia somewhat.

It is funny how when this perceived distance exists between myself and my Team that I get sad and begin to beg for the connection to return. It is like the old saying, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”. I feel desperate to have back what it seems I have lost. I know, however, that it is merely a perception mistake on my part. The “distance” I feel is merely a loss of equilibrium within me.

No Rest for the Weary

The worst part of being sick and feeling disconnected is that my entire family is still stuck in before-daylight-savings-mode. It is slowly getting better, but I am still being awakened far too early for my liking. My middle son is the worst. He is waking at 5am and falling asleep at 7:30pm. I have tried to get him to go to bed later, but he just won’t. The other two are going to bed later but when my middle son wakes up, he wakes the other two up, too. He also wakes up my husband. So the entire house is up while I put a pillow over my head desperate for some sleep. Plus, when I wake up, I am overcome by coughing so much that I end up just getting out of bed because the coughing won’t let me rest. Ugh!

I am told by my guide that I must rest and recuperate. So I try but with a busy family it is just dang hard. I stay home with my two youngest all day and even though they are sick, too, they seem full of energy and hell-bent on wreaking havoc on my household. I just can’t keep up.

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Lucid to OBE: Where’s My Head?

I took 100mg of B6 last night before bed just to see if it would do anything since last time I had a lucid dream that turned into several OBEs. Well, it worked! Unfortunately, I don’t recall everything as there are some blank spots in between very vivid OBEs. When I woke up my guide informed me that I was OOB for 75 minutes and that I had 6 OBEs. I didn’t ask but I had wondered briefly how long I had been asleep.

All it took for me to go OOB was to request it. I love my Team!

Lucid to OBE: Where’s My Head?

Prior to this experience I had a lucid dream that turned into an OBE but I have forgotten it now. I recall only that the environment I was in was very shifty and dark and that I felt the vibrations of exit and re-entry.

I became very lucid after exiting my body. I found myself in my bedroom but it was not in this reality. I got out of bed and looked around. I saw a light coming from the hallway. Briefly I recall seeing a gray cat and my son, but can’t recall what I did with them. I believe I kicked the cat away from me as it purred and rubbed up against my leg.

I went toward the light and saw that it came from a bathroom. The door was closed so I pushed it open and went inside. It was a muted brightness when I went in. I recall thinking, “It will be too bright” so I think I muted it, worried it would hurt my eyes.

There was a bathtub in front of me with toilet next to it and a long vanity mirror next to that, both to my left. I felt the light was not too much and so allowed the room to fully illuminate. I saw sparkles in the golden air that moved and glittered. It was like the light was alive!

I noticed I was standing right in front of the mirror so I turned to take a look at myself. I was giddy for some reason, just very happy and in high spirits. I remember speaking aloud saying, “Oh, there I am! Hi!” I looked at my lower body and saw that it was shifty like the rest of the space I was in. I stabilized it but saw the mirror was not smooth but warped a bit.

I decided to look at my face but was surprised to find I had no head! I said, “Oh! I don’t have a head!” This made me laugh for some reason. Not concerned, I simply thought my head back and there it appeared in the mirror. I said aloud, “That’s better!” The image of the woman in the mirror did not, however, look like I do now. She was similar but not exactly right. I didn’t really care and accepted the image as me without question, yet a part of me retained the image wondering who exactly I was seeing.

OBE: Christmas Room

Yet again I had an OBE that I do not recall completely that led to this one. In this one I was walking down a hallway in the house attached to the bedroom of the other one (all my OBEs were in this house). There was again the shifty, darkness until I got to a room. When I went into the room it was fully illuminated.

Inside I was pleased to discover a large living area completely decked out in Christmas decorations. There were ribbons and wreaths, trees and ornaments. It was dazzling and beautiful! I saw the room was quite large, too, and walked the length of it. I do recall seeing at one end a man watching me but I looked the other way and said, “This is like how I would decorate for Christmas if I could afford it!” I thought for sure I had entered into some very rich person’s house.

There was interaction here with the man who I saw but it gets hazy. I remember seeing him and talking with him for some time. He was with a shorter, dark haired woman who I seemed to like a lot. The man was taller than me, had sandy-blonde hair and seemed older, maybe mid-40s. He had blue eyes that seemed to sparkle.

At one point in the middle of our conversation I stopped and said to him, “How do I know you? What is your name?” I don’t remember now if he gave me a name but he told me, “I was there when you went to the dentist, remember? I have silver teeth”. He showed me his teeth and I was like, “Oh yeah. I remember”, but I didn’t remember.

I hugged him and felt a familiar energy from him. I said to him, “I’m sorry. I’m married” and pulled away.

I wandered around for a bit, looking at things and saw that there was nothing personal in this Christmas room. I said aloud, “This can’t be real. There is nothing personal here” as I fiddled with a nondescript, silver toy car.

OBE: Room 340

There was a shift back into my body then and then I went back out. This time I was in an office environment. The dark haired woman was there as was the blonde man. I told the blonde man that I wanted to be with the dark haired woman. Then I propositioned her, “Do you want to?” She said, “Sure!” Surprised, I followed her.

We walked around inside this office looking for a private space. I stopped an asked someone, “Is there an open office we could use?” She said, “No they are all full”. The dark haired woman said, “Is there maybe an open internet room?” The woman said, “Yes but hurry. Room 340“. She pointed to the right.

We went to the room but the walls were all only half walls. I was concerned about privacy and one wall fell down completely.

Then I lost lucidity for a while and found myself back in the bedroom. I remember thinking I should find my husband but deciding I did not want to bother waking up to do so. I chose to return to the OBE instead but the woman was gone. I remember being in our bed and my middle son being there asleep next to my husband. I also recall I was holding a bowl of cereal (lol) and that I gave it to my son.

I remember seeing another cat then and being irritated by it. I went out the window and felt the brisk night air but felt it was not allowed. I do remember seeing a very bright, white light amid the stars and thinking it was the moon. My memory says it was not the moon, though. I honestly don’t know what it was.

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Aldyn: Old Friend

I finally got good sleep last night but still awoke at 5am, much earlier than I would like.

Dream: Meeting an Old Friend

The dream I awoke from was of me reuniting with an old friend. In the dream I had been in a game show that resembled the Price is Right. In it, I saw Alex Trebek as two people. The first was connected to a very long, fat, golden snake that appeared to be filled with air like one of those lawn displays that fills up giant Santa Claus’ to make them appear larger than life. I don’t recall much about this part of the dream except the snake and knowing that the person who at once appeared like Alex and then a woman was a twin of this snake.

I then moved into a dark room that felt to be inside a house. I know I was in the astral at this time but I did not awaken while there. A man came in who was very tall and had dark hair. I don’t remember his face or features but I knew him and we talked. He had just returned from a journey and we were discussing his taking of a wife. I said to him with surprise, “You were married again?” He said, “Yes” and there was an a communication that passed between us that this marriage had been short lasting only a year, like the many others he had. I also knew he had fallen in love quickly and deeply each time he was married but then when actually married each relationship fell apart. I knew that the reason for this was that his expectations of his spouse were too high and unyielding. She could not be what he wanted and so every time the relationship would break and end in a loss for him.

I hugged him, my head barely resting upon his broad chest. I said to him as I looked up at him, “I forgot how tall you were”. He appeared to be at least 7 feet tall and I felt dwarfed in his presence.

We sat down together on a sofa and I lay my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me. I noticed that I wanted to be close to him, a feeling I do not have in my current lifetime with my current husband. The difference was striking but I accepted it. I felt at ease with him and happy to just be in his arms.

Then I became nervous. My husband came into the room and I did not want him to see me there with my friend. I covered myself in blankets to hide. They were removed and I was laying there alone, my friend nowhere to be seen.

Aldyn

I awoke then, still feeling the confusion of waking without my friend there. I heard then, “What if I made you a man? What would you do?”

This question confused me and the dream came back to me.

Then I heard very distinctly, “Aldyn” and I knew he lived 400,000 years ago. I wondered if man even had civilizations that far back and if he did which ones were around? I then wondered if in fact this man, this Aldyn, was me and felt it may be and that it was him/me that lived so long ago.

Interestingly, the name Aldyn is Old English for “old friend”.

I then thought of the question I was asked. I responded, “I would play with it (meaning the penis)” and laughed. I communicated that it would be the first thing I did because I had always wondered what it would be like. But then I felt I needed to be serious got and said, “I would focus on how the body felt and note the differences”. Then I remembered what being a man was like and knew the thought processes were very different from that of a woman. It felt different and it is hard to describe the difference as it is subtle. It has to do with the connections made in the brain and how the thoughts are processed and what areas they originate from.

Then we had a discussion about why I chose to be female this life and the struggles that come with choosing to be female. I saw the challenge of the imbalance that existed between the masculine and feminine; how women had lost their power. I saw the lessons in motherhood and I cringed. The patience needed, the compassion and understanding, the need to tune into one’s emotions and intuition – all these things I need to enhance within my own whole Self because for far too long it has been the masculine which I doted upon.

This is what I awoke to this morning. So much of me resists the lessons I am here to learn. I see now why my guide calls me ambivalent.

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What Preceded the Question

Many of you may be wondering why I posted the question I did yesterday. Time to explain.

As I went about my day yesterday, I did not have much time to communicate with my guide, yet he seemed to want to get something through to me.

It began with me breaking down into tears for seemingly no reason after I returned home from the gym. My main thought was that I felt I had not achieved enough in this life; that my purpose was not met. I also grieved over something that I cannot put into words. It was like I was losing a part of myself or maybe just letting it go.

As the day continued, messages continued to pop into my thoughts. They came out of nowhere and other times I would find myself in a conversation with my guide that I had not noticed previously. I would go in and out of this mode. I know another part of me was discussing much with my guide while this other part was focused on mundane living.

Life in the New

I began to catch interesting conversations that made me pause and wonder what was going on. One conversation was about the day-to-day goings on of the New Hue-mans, those that will survive and advance to the next “level”. We were talking about how different things would be in the New; how those things which occupy so much of our time and energy would no longer be of consequence (appearance, clothing, socialization, etc). I remember wondering what we will do with our day and asking, “What will it be like?” I was shown a routine very much unlike my own.

I saw the early morning and a child and her family waking with the sun. The first thing they did was “re-charge” the body by ingesting a liquid form of nourishment. It was clear and appeared gel-like but liquid at the same time. This took no more than a few seconds and I recognized that the body was treated like a mode of transportation – kept in good working condition similar to a car or maybe a horse. I think more like a horse in that there is a love for the body, more than any love someone might have for a car. This re-charging was done throughout the day when needed. It seemed the typical foods we are use to eating (and enjoying) were gone and replaced by these energy-type drinks and lots of fruits and vegetables.

There was no focus on appearance. None. Clothing was nondescript being white or gray and looked long like a robe. Time was spent equally between spiritual pursuits and mundane activities. Much time was devoted to balance in all areas. I saw much dedication to education, both of the young and the old alike. When I asked what it was they were doing all day I could not understand what it was I was shown. It appeared too advanced and invovled much mental and spiritual energy.

I do know that we live communally. No more individual family abodes. Everyone has a job, one they choose based upon their particular desire for expansion in this area. I know I will be a teacher of the children, but not like I was here. This is a different type of teaching, one in which the children are taught how to tune-in, balance and communicate in ways we only are beginning to do now.

The children will be raised together – all of them regardless of parents, race or age. The adults will work at a team. I see what I am being told is “pair bonding”, something like a relationship but without all the strings and attachments we have today. Sex exists but on a different level – not a purely spiritual one but one that is balanced and in harmony with the physical and spiritual. No jealousy or guilt trips, no insatiable urge for sex or sexual release. Bonding is beyond sexual and I see it as an energetic component special between a pair. One can have more than one pair bond.

Preparing for a Journey

Later in the day I was again caught up in mundane activities but heard a question I had heard before. “If you only have a certain amount of time left to live, what would you do?” I ignored it. Yet I was aware a conversation continued despite my disinterested.

That was when the question I posted was asked of me. It came along with a very strong push or urge to “pay attention”. At first I thought there was a message on FB for me (there was but it didn’t show up until late that night). I felt this urgency but did not understand it. I got frustrated because my third eye was pulling very intensely for seemingly no reason. I noted two articles posted on FB, one about an earthquake in AZ and another about solar flares. Both seemed to be important. When I saw the earthquake I felt there would be more.

Later, I heard an airplane flying very closely to my house and I got nervous, thinking it would crash into my house. I was not afraid, just felt, “It’s time already?!”

Once I was able to be alone, I recognized that the question asked of me was to allow me to consider why I was preparing like I was. “Baggage” is not allowed where we are going. This baggage is emotional connections to those who will not be joining us. We must say our goodbyes. We must accept that they are not ready to move on.

This particularly was about my own mother. In the past I’ve had such a strong worry about her well-being that I delayed for 7 years moving from my old home until I knew she was cared for and not alone. Prior to that, in 2006, I had an experience where I was going OOB through my crown chakra. I became fully aware of it and panicked thinking I was leaving for good and yelled, “No! I can’t leave her (my mom)”. So I understand that this kind of baggage will be too heavy to take with me. I must be as Light as possible for this journey.

Preparation

We are preparing for a journey. I won’t say for sure that it means we will be taken away in ships to save us from an Earth cataclysm. However, it feels that way. We cannot go where it is safe if we are carrying too much baggage. There is a “weight” limit. That is why I was being asked how I would prepare as were you. If you knew you would never see certain family members again (and you know which of those it is), how would you say goodbye? How would you unburden yourself so that you had no hesitation when the time came to leave?

There can be no hesitation.

BTW, this morning I thought first off, “I will bring food that I like that will not exist after the cataclysm. Snickers bars or something with sugar. I will miss sugar”. LOL

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Synchronicity: Meteorite

Today I was thinking back on an experience I had in 2013. I will post an excerpt here from my old blog:

On February 14th I got quite a surprise that was  both a message for me as well as a predictor of world changes to come. On my drive into work I was in a good mood, feeling positive about the future and ready for change. I remember thinking, “I will get a job”. As soon as I had that thought I noticed a bright light out of the corner of my eye. When I looked to my right I saw a bright, whitish-blue fireball shooting out of the sky right above the power lines about 50-100 feet in front of my car. I followed it with my eyes as it flew across my line of sight. Two fragments broke off of it and burned white until they went out right before hitting the ground. Then the larger piece continued down past the tree line and its light went out.

I gasped for a moment thinking “That was a shooting star!” Then I thought, “No way, that was too close. It had to be something else. Maybe a flare gun?” I looked to my right to see if there was anyone on the side of the road. I was driving in the country where all that was around was hills and trees, so I was not surprised to find nothing and no one around. It was still dark so it was hard to see much except the outlines of trees and objects. There was definitely not another bright light or streak to indicate the use of a flare gun.

I went ahead to work, still amazed and thought to myself, “I need to make a wish!” So I did. I felt special to have witnessed such a unique event…..

The next morning I took the day off because I couldn’t sleep again……That morning I was shocked to read on the news that a huge meteorite hit Russia and wounded 1000 people. The footage confirmed that what I had seen the day before was a smaller version of what had hit Russia.

First thought: Wow. Second thought: Oh my God. I could’ve been killed. Second thought: What does it mean?

…….I still don’t know the significance, if any, of my encounter with a “fire ball”. I know that many in the world might view the one that hit Russia as a sign, especially when another fire ball was caught on film in the California sky days later. It makes one wonder and consider how small we are in this huge universe.

…….The awe I felt when witnessing the fire ball is one I cannot put into words. I felt honored to have been witness to such glory. It made me feel connected to the One….God….the universe.

As I write this I recognize so many things that I have not in the last few days. I feel tears welling up and my throat gets tight.

……The feelings that come with it are so varied, but mostly contain sadness. Sadness that I cannot help as much as I want to – I want all pain and misery to stop. Not just my pain and misery – everyone’s, especially the children and the innocent creatures of this Earth. Sadness that I cannot help those that are asleep to awaken and SEE. Sad that I don’t like mankind and his petty, materialistic ways. Sad that I am part of mankind which makes me petty and materialistic, too. Angry at myself for forgetting who I am and being too stubborn to admit that I am/was wrong.

Again, the words to a song pop into my mind – “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine”. As I hear the words I see the fire ball again in my mind and I also see a shining, white highway spread out in front of me. If this is the end of the world as I know it, at least I know I will feel fine.

I had to search for this post for quite a while because it was so long ago. Yet the memory of the event is still very vivid in my mind. No one else saw my experience. There was no news headline or anything. The meteorite in Russia was way more exciting and since no one but me saw the one on the 14th it was dead news.

But for me it was significant. And when I was thinking about it today I was thinking that it had been a sign of much more significance than I had given it then.

And today I see on FB a posting about a meteorite hitting a lake in Russia on October 22! I had not heard of it yet and so when I saw it my jaw dropped.

I can’t stop thinking of the vision/message I got not long ago that there will be a very bright, white star in the sky. A star large enough to be noticed. I now wonder if it is a meteor?