Tag Archives: Messages

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Destination

In the early morning hours after once again waking at 5:30am, I found myself drifting in and out of a lucid dream. To my disappointment, each time I would begin to take control of this state I would awaken fully. This occurred about five times total before I gave up. However, I was able to gather some important data through this process which I want to share with you all.

Destination

In one instance of lucid dreaming, I found myself traveling at intense speeds in what appeared to be outer space. I could see the stars buzzing by me. They appeared as streaks of light. I felt to be moving toward a destination that I could make out just barely in the darkness. It had shape to it but appeared to be cloaked in darkness. Yet I could see its outline which was distinctly angular, like several triangles merged together. As I think back on the shape I saw, it resembled a merkaba.

As I woke from this experience, there came with me an awareness of information that had not been there before. There came a message in my mind – “You are already at your destination”. With this I knew that there were simultaneously existing states. One in which I was already at my destination, some 8 to 9 light-years away. The other in which I was still traveling, not yet where I hoped to be.

I fell into another light dream state and once again was lucid. I saw several points of light disperse and then each one exploded into more tiny lights. This occurred many, many times until the points of light were so many I was unable to keep track of them.

When I awoke I knew that each of my perceptions was much more than what they seemed. Each perception in itself was a new state, a distinct me and then each one in turn became more, expanding beyond my current state. This in itself is such a limited description of what I saw and the information I knew/know is difficult to put into words.

Image of a Being

As I continued to drift in and out of a lucid states, I was discussing many things with another person. The person was male and felt distinctly different than my normal guide. I wondered who it was and got a flash of an image. I saw a very pale face which reminded me of the young girl I saw not long ago. This face was very obviously male, with a stronger jawline, and appeared more mature. He had no hair and seemed very serious. He gave me a name but I have lost it now. It was like Morphael-Son or something like that. Definitely not a name that is of Earth.

Root Chakra Manipulation

Another odd occurrence these past few nights is a strange activation of my root chakra when I am meditating. The first time it happened I almost missed it altogether because I had gone into such a deep state of relaxation. I meditated on my third eye and heart chakra as has been my norm and had all the typical pulling and energy intensity that I have been having for weeks now. This time, however, I must have gone immediately into the in-between or even may have been OOB. I was happily enjoying the blissful energies when I suddenly had orgasmic-type sensations in my root and second chakras. They were very muted, however, and were just barely noticeable on a physical level. I actually ignored them until something brought me back to full awareness and I felt that I was nudged into remembering that it happened.

This same energy has been happening easily with me just intending it to happen. I mentioned this previously but it seems to be escalating. Most nights now I am able to get the energy levels to a pretty intense state, but nothing bliss-gasm-like.

Then this morning, as I was in the in-between having these conversations and learning, I had a moment where I was very lucid and standing in a room. Across the room was another person, I think they were male but cannot remember. They were in communication with me, but it was wordless. Instead it felt like energy and I felt that I should purposefully activate my root chakra. The root chakra began to activate intensely but I felt embarrassed for some reason, as if I did not want this other person observing this process. So I came back to full awareness. Yet when I fell back into the dream state, there I was again, fully lucid in a room standing across from this man and feeling an intense rising up of energy into my second chakra.

I again awoke and there was no residual energy except that my third eye was blazing. I recall now that the room was white but the floors were either green or lush grass. It was like I was in a field with white walls.

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Dream: Full Moon Man

I had a particularly odd dream this morning in which I was being given information about some things to come.

Dream: Gym

The dream started out inside a truck. I was sitting next to my husband who was pulling milk crate from the floor. It contained his gym clothes. I told him, “Good idea!” and he pulled out a crate for me containing my gym clothes.

We walked across a field. In front of me I could see a large lake and a few buildings to my right. We headed to one of the buildings. It was the gym, but it was very small.

I went inside and found the gym completely packed with people. There were so many people that I could not get to the dressing room. I stood against the wall watching and feeling a bit claustrophobic. A gym employee was there and I commented about how crowded it was for a Sunday. I thought perhaps I had come during a class. The gym employee just stood there but I received the thought that people just had to take turns.

I left the building, telling the employee that I would go to the larger gym where there was more space. I ran into my husband who was wearing swimming goggles and told him my decision. He agreed. The employee asked which gym we would go to. I said, “The one in Copperas Cove”. In the dream I wondered to myself, “Is there a gym there?” I convinced myself there was, recalling a dream in which I went to the Wal-Mart there. I thought, “It’s right next to the Wal-Mart”. This, is not true. There is no gym there!

Dream: Full Moon Man

As we turned to go, the scene shifted and I was standing beside a crystal clear creek. A man was talking with me about a dam. I looked at the stream and saw a small dam was built over it. The dam had some kind of system in it that reversed the flow of the stream. The man told me, “Man has dammed up all the streams. He should not do this”. I looked upstream at the lake it was coming out of and leaned down and put my hands into the stream, taking a drink of the cold water. It was so wonderful!

I was instructed to pay attention and the man continued to discuss with me how mankind had altered the environment and if he does not reverse this damage, Mother Earth will do so herself. He told me that Earth is much like a living organism and needs to be preserved. He directed my attention back at the dam and he said, “All this to make this” and held up what looked like a kitchen scrubber. I didn’t know how to react to this, I just listened.

My attention was then drawn to a woman who was walking in the stream. She was eating orange ice cream and serving it to children. They acted like they were at an event, like the 4th of July. She looked up and so did I. There was a long cable stretched across the lake and coming down on a zip line was a man in a moon costume.

The moon was very large and full and it looked to be covered in white fur. The man was smiling and yelling as he zipped down the line toward the opposite bank. I saw him and wondered why he was in the costume.

Messages

I was awakened by my son yelling for his daddy but the man from my dream, the one who was teaching me, was nearby. It was the old man with the beard.

He explained that there was to be a great cataclysm. I told him, “I don’t want to hear about doom and gloom”. Yet, he continued. I drifted into the in-between and heard about the Bahamas and the recent damage and life lost. I acknowledged this as I came to full awareness.

He said, “You will be called” I had heard this already and somewhat ignored him.

But I saw a vision of people stepping into what looked like individual shower stalls without doors. They were rectangular, white boxes with one side open to allow for a human to step inside. When the human got inside, a yellowish light appeared. It did not come from above but from the center of the person inside. It intensified and the person seemed to break into a million-trillion particles of light. I did not see the person but only the light.

I had slipped into the in-between without knowing it and this vision caused me to say, “The men will be most affected” or something of the sort. This brought me to full awareness but I somehow knew why I had said that. I knew the light show I had just seem would be an spiritually orgasmic-type of experience and that men would be overcome by it faster than woman. I am not sure why I thought this, though.

I also heard that incidents of testicular cancer would increase.

Then I heard him say, “Your body is a living hologram” With it came an understanding that this reality is a physical hologram and like a hologram it is merely energy and can be transformed. Is this what I saw in the vision?

I do not know how to take what I was shown. It is literal or was this just a symbolic showing of what would happen? Is this the rapture? And why am I being shown this? What good will it do?

I then remembered my full moon dream and recalled that I was told a while back to expect another activation in October that coincided with the full moon. I felt a confirmation with this and then a wave of pleasant energy entered through my heart space from my back and reverberated through my body, filling especially my root and second chakras will a warm, pleasant feeling.

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Notice Given

I don’t know if it is because Mercury is retrograde or if things are just shifting in my life (maybe both?) but since last week, my work situation has been tense. The same micromanaging person continued to get on my case, sending email after email. In the meantime, I was attempting to get a meeting with my boss to discuss my options at work, specifically my resignation. I was unable to get a meeting all last week, but on Friday I finally did. Unfortunately, it was with the micromanaging coworker in attendance! Ugh!

The meeting was set for yesterday. I prepared by writing up my letter of resignation. When I got there, the meeting with my coworker was fine – no issues, just information and agreement that I needed more training to do my job. I did not bring up my resignation in front of her, but waited until after (I had preferred it be before).

When I spoke with my boss, I explained the reason I wanted to leave was because of financial changes in our home, mainly that my husband got a substantial raise (which he did). I left out the specifics of the job I do not like. I was/am sympathetic to my boss and do not want to burn bridges, so I told him that two weeks was when I preferred to leave. He needed longer, I could tell, but told me he would call HR and see what he could do. When I tried to give him my letter of resignation, he would not take it because he wants me to agree to continue on as a contract employee until they can find a suitable replacement. I agreed to take this into consideration because I feel bad for leaving them without proper notice (they want a month notice).

Later, my husband called to find out how the meeting went. When I told him what had happened, he began to question whether I should leave the job. This bothered me because he had always said, “Do what you want” or “If that is what you want, then do it”. He never seemed concerned. Now, though, he acts like I will be bored and that I will be unhappy and grumpy. I suspect his personal view of the matter is tinged with the fact that if I stay home, then his mother, who watches our kids, will be out of her part-time income. I also suspect he likes the extra income from my job – which I do as well but not at my expense!

What is bothering me is that I do not want to continue on with my job as a contract employee because that means doing the part of my job which is my least favorite. I would be paid more for the little time, but the paperwork would be gruesome and I hate paperwork. On top of that, I really, really wish I had made my boss take my letter of resignation! Now it is not on file.

Yet there has been and continues to be a strange, calm feeling that accompanies this situation. When I first decided to leave my job it came on with such a wave of love that I felt reassured it was the right thing to do. And every time I thought about the situation, second-guessing and worrying, the calm would reappear. It just sweeps over me and I have thoughts that surmount to: All is well. Trust in your decision. There is also a knowing that to think of all the possibilities leads to those possibilities becoming more likely as the outcome. I must keep focusing on what it is that I want and not let doubt in.

So, each time I worry, I direct my thoughts to something else, or try to. And if my thoughts wander, I get a sudden nudge or even sometimes a thought, directing me to shift my focus on the positive. There was also a knowing that I would know what to do when in the situation.

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Breathing in Light

After asking to lucid dream, I drifted off into semi-lucid states where I would be in a dream state and then shift into full lucidity. This happened more times that I can count so I will relate what little I can remember.

I recall hearing music and talking with someone in the in-between. As I listened, a dream took form and I took part in it knowing I was dreaming but not attempting to take control of it.

In one instance I was shifting in and out of my physical body. It was as if I were being shown how to easily move from one state into another. I have had this happen previously but in the past it was more like I was being pushed into these other states rather than doing it on my own. This time, however, I was aware of my ability to do this and was quite comfortable with it.

I shifted into a scene where I was inside a dark hallway with a staircase. I hid behind the staircase as I observed an individual who was to take me somewhere. I was not fully lucid here and felt a strange apprehension about where this man was going to take me.

I shifted back into my body and felt the familiar vibrations that indicated I was superimposed over my body. I felt I should focus on how my body felt and so I did. I scanned it for energy inconsistencies but found none other than a few slight pools of energy in a few areas.

I shifted back into a dream scene. This time I was in a car heading toward a church. I decided to go into the parking lot and heard someone honk at me. Looking to see who it was, I saw a man shaking his fist at me. I thought, “How angry these church people are”.

A person ushered me into the parking lot and I waited. While inside the vehicle and became very lucid and began to sing a song by Pink. I heard myself singing and felt my vibration raise. I asked aloud about the car I was in, “Why am I seeing the inside of this car all the time?” The dashboard was completely black with all kinds of unfamiliar buttons and knobs on it. It resembled the inside of a plane more than a vehicle and it was very familiar to me.

I then became apprehensive again, but I’m not sure why. I returned consciousness to my body and felt again that I should shift my focus. I shifted it back and forth between states and felt an odd energy in my body that was strangely familiar.

For some reason I began to take huge breaths of air and then I would hold them in and exhale slowly. When I did this I felt I was breathing in energy. The sensation of it was so amazing! My astral lungs filled with large amounts of pleasant, alive energy. It was as if I were breathing in Light!

I took several of these breaths of energy, relishing in the feeling. Each breath built on the last. I felt to be glowing and expanding. The energy was alive!

I knew that if I continued to breathe in this energy that I would go somewhere else, somewhere not of this world, somewhere higher in vibration. Home.

I took another deep breath and the energy came pouring in with greater intensity. I began to get excited as I felt my energy body pulsate and shake. I knew my astral body would break apart. I knew it was dissolving. I knew I was approaching a momentous breakthrough!

And I was ready, oh so ready! I let go entirely, accepting in all the Light with open arms.

Then I slipped back down into my physical body, the energy dissipating instantly.

I was not disappointed. I was comfortable and satisfied.

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Keeper of the Violet Flame

I had many visions this morning and also experienced a lucid transmission of healing and expansion. The memory of it is failing me at the moment for it seems that I am to forget most of it until it is appropriate to share it fully.

Keeper of the Violet Flame

I was awakened from a deep slumber at 12:30am. A bit disoriented, I had to tend to my youngest and then I was wide awake and full of thoughts about my work situation, one which I have covered in a previous post.

As I attempted to return to sleep, my attention was drawn toward a man in the left of my visual field. He was sitting on a bench as if waiting for me. I went to sit down next to him, and gave him a hug. I noticed I could see him quite clearly. He was wearing a long robe and held a wooden staff in his right hand. He also had a very long, gray beard that reached his waist. However, he did not appear to have any hair on the top of his head.

I looked at him and asked, “Who are you? Do I know you?” In response a memory came back to me from years ago. “Amoradon?” I asked. I felt confirmation. He said to me, “I go by many names”.

Then he said, “I am the Keeper of the Violet Flame“. I did not question him on this, but wondered why he would say it. I got no response.

He told me, “We will be working together”.

The conversation seemed to pause a while and my thoughts wandered. I was concerned about my work situation and I appealed to him for help in calming my thoughts. It was immediately that I felt to focus on my heart center and I was drawn to recall my dreams.

As I focused upon my dream, I realized I had been somewhere foreign – another planet in fact. I saw in front of me a vast, golden plain that spread so far that one could see the circular shape of the planet it occupied. In the center of this plain was a large, cream colored or gold building that resembled a flatter version of the Mayan pyramids.

I could not remember what was going on with me, but I knew that we had been discussing a great war and I was shown a map of this planet. An entire section was highlighted in red and it felt as if the people in this section had been infected with something, but it was not a disease. It was something that was akin to anger or aggression.

I recall laying down in a healing tank of some sort. Inside of it was water and it covered me completely except for my face. I recall there being lights but I don’t remember now what color they were.

In remembering this, my thoughts were interrupted by Amoradon. He said to me, “You will not have to leave them [my family] behind”. I was relieved to hear this.

He continued.

“We will Call you. You will go Home”.

And I asked, “And my family will come, too?”

He answered: “Yes”.

“How?” I asked.

“Mass consciousness [upload]”. The word “upload” was not the right word but there seemed not to be an appropriate substitution in our language. I saw in my mind a visual of consciousness rising upward, as if shifting into a higher vibration.

“Will everyone experience this?” I asked.

“No”, was his response.

As I thought about what had just been told to me, he interrupted my thoughts, “It is not what you think”.

I had been wondering if it meant I would leave my physical body and it would die. I felt this was not the case.

“You will always have access”, was his response to my thoughts. I knew this meant that whatever this mass consciousness “upload” was, it would allow me and others permanent access.

I felt I should relax and return to sleep. I asked to lucid dream since i knew astral projection was out of the question.

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Remember, It’s an Experience

I wanted to share with you the insight I received yesterday.

An expected delivery arrived at our home and it was soon learned that there would be a significant fee, like a COD, in order to receive the shipment. This was unexpected and upset me. I began to feel the familiar upset rising from within and so extracted myself from the situation as soon as I could. Thankfully my husband was able to handle it for me.

Once inside, I was thinking about the situation and heard quite suddenly, “Remember, it’s an experience”. With this I realized the truth in this statement. An experience is just that – an experience. It does not imply preference for one outcome or another. It is simply “the contact with and observation of facts and events”.

It is I who was applying a preference for one outcome or another. With this application invariably comes either disappointment or acceptance and the varying feelings that go along with each.

Through expectation I submit myself to becoming the effect of my experience. I did not have to do that.

With this revelation, I removed myself from any expectation and felt the upset vanish immediately. There was such an emotional release that I began to laugh out loud as I prepared dinner.

I am so very grateful to my Companion for his simple reminder to me. What a difference it made!

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222

The energies were strong last night, but I slept through them mostly oblivious. For more than a week now my sleep has been this way. I fall asleep around 10pm and wake from a deep, deep sleep at around 4am. Then I can’t return to sleep.

This morning was the exception.

I woke at 4am and wanted to go back to sleep but kept thinking it was impossible based upon my recent pattern.I conversed with my guide for a bit, asking him, “What happened yesterday? How did I do that [channel]?” He answered, “I am part of you. All you have to do is tune in to your heart”. And with that I felt my heart chakra expand and I understood.

I then was shown a vision of a beam of brilliant white light and heard, “Flooded with light”. I understood this to mean that this was what was happening to Earth right now.

Then I was told, “Meditate more”. With this I saw my pattern of meditation and how little time I spend meditating. I felt I should meditate nearly ever night. So I decided right then and there to meditate. It put me to sleep almost immediately.

Dream: Waking at 2:22am

In my dream I woke up at 2:22am and could not go back to sleep. Groggy, I decided to get up and go to the gym and work out. I remember several times looking at the clock and it saying 2:22am. It never changed.

To my surprise there were quite a few people at the gym. I wandered into the weights area to find all the weights and equipment gone and replaced with yoga mats. People were on the mats stretching and I walked over one that was laying horizontally on the floor. All the mats were black and thick, like the ones at the gym.

I went into a trance-like state while in the dream. This part of the dream is hazy but I recall seeing lots of light. Light so brilliant it was blinding. I recall there being more than one source of this light, like it was being emitted by someone. I vaguely recall there were five sources of this light in front of me.

Mesmerized, I was brought back to awareness by a woman. I turned and saw I was sitting on her mat near her head. Her blonde hair was splayed out on the mat and she smiled at me. I quickly apologized and got up. She was then standing in front of me, much taller than me, and her energy felt different, like a guide. She asked me some questions about how I was feeling. I recall only now that she went through a list of symptoms and told me, “Your symptoms are similar to those of a heart attack”.

2I absorbed this information without alarm, somewhat dazed still. I went over to a stationary bike and sat on it, staring into space. The screen was blank and there were small containers of liquid. I picked one up to drink it but realized it wasn’t mine. I took a sip anyway, even though the woman was looking at me curiously. It tasted like some kind of tea, cinnamon and something else.

I had other dreams but this one seemed the most significant because of the repeating 2’s. When I woke up I saw a telephone dial pad and the number 2 button was highlighted.

Negativity

After the dream my thoughts went immediately to a recent situation. I posted my channeled message from yesterday in one of my groups and received a comment that was negative. The specific comment was: “Sounds like creating false hope, like many of those messages have done”.

I wanted to respond but knew instantly that it would be to no avail and only feed the negativity. Negativity must be ignored so that it chokes on itself and dies. In addition, I felt sympathy for this woman who so obviously had lost hope and was sinking in a pit of self-induced misery. She saw in my post her own plight and I understood for I have been there many times. I have felt let down many times through this process.

With the memory of this situation I understood that many, many people are just now beginning the process of ascension. I often assume everyone is on the same page as me. Here I was being reminded that this is not the case. Everyone is on their own timeline. Some are still in throwing off the Ego. Others still are in denial that anything is happening.

With the light flooding Earth at this time, those who are still in the early stages of the Shift are struggling with intense negativity, heavy burdens and life decisions. For some this has been on-going for some time, for others it has seemingly come out of nowhere.

I am also reminded that many are choosing to leave their current incarnations on Earth. It does not mean they are bailing on us or that they are “weak” or unable, they are simply making a choice that best suits them. Some will return later in the Shift. Others will wait until it is over before they return.

Ultimately, these reflections go along with the angel numbers I received in my dream and after. 222 and 2 both encourage one to have faith and patience, to avoid negativity and to trust in the Divine.

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Percolation and Transmutation All Over Again

Percolate. Transmute. Rinse. Repeat.

The energy peaks, then subsides. Peaks. Subsides. Peaks. Subsides.

You get the idea.

This is the process that raises one’s vibration. It is slow and intentional. It is the reason we feel so often like we are on a roller coaster. Yet, if you have noticed, the roller coaster feeling has lessened. The intense high’s and low’s are leveling out.

Our cycles are changing as well. Our physical body cycles such as our sleep cycle, dream cycle, circadian rhythm, and biorhythms are changing. This is also true of Mother Earth and can be seen in nature such as shifts in migration patterns, weather cycles, and ocean currents. 

We are also practicing, preparing, for a different shift, one into a higher vibration, a peak vibration, which has yet to arrive. There is talk that we have entered into 5D. In actuality, the shift into 5D is individual and not a “mass event”. What in fact has occurred is that we have reached a point in vibration where we now have access to 5D, when before the highest we could sustain was 4D. Just having access does not, however, mean that we live there nor does it mean we are even capable of sustaining this level of vibration for long periods of time.

I am told very, very few are able to access this vibration at this time and those who do, do so with significant assistance.

What is important here is that 5D is now accessible to the human biological organism via its operating components. In other words, a specific number of those occupying human bodies have recovered ability enough to access this vibration now.

Do not focus on whether you yourself have entered yet into this vibration for that is not the concern nor will it ever be. Focus instead on the progress you have made; the leaps and bounds in spiritual evolution you have made and the ones you will yet to make. This is to be celebrated. 

Many of you have reached a point in your transition where you are attending “class”, for lack of a better descriptive word. Your memory of these events will be limited, though some will have full awareness of their attendance. These classes are initiations that will act as triggers for movement into 5D. In these classes you will practice crossing dimensions and the maintenance of multiple dimensional experience, the results of which will prepare you for the transition into higher states of awareness and Being.  

Your Star brothers and sisters are already celebrating the coming of the Great Age when they (we) will finally be reunited. There is great joy in your hearts, in our hearts, as we come ever closer to this reunion. Enjoy this moment for it is one that has been anticipated for many a millennia.

Note: This post was not intended to be a channel but became such as it was written. I have not edited it to show where I speak and the collective speak. The experience of writing it is curious to me because as it flowed out of me my heart chakra felt to be moving up into my throat and out beyond the limits of my body. I literally felt my energy “rising up” into my third-eye and crown in the moments that the collective came through and my entire body began to vibrate. An amazing feeling!

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Testing, Testing 1-2-3

I believe I have been presented with the test I was warned about yesterday morning.

While at work yesterday I received emails from a person who was brought in to take over the work of someone who had not done their job correctly. Rumor is that she is kind of a workhorse and uber control freak. Anyway, the email was questioning my current and past activity in a realm of education that I am not trained or knowledgeable in. Her emails were not rude but were very forceful and I felt personally singled out and made wrong.

It had been a good day despite not getting enough sleep the night before and so the emails were a bit left field and unexpected. Come to find out I am now expected to do additional paperwork and who knows what other expectations I will hear about today. I also suspect a meeting at some point based upon this woman’s past and her present position(s) in the company.

If you have been following my blog then you know I recently considered leaving this part-time job for various reasons, the main reason being the special education component that seems ever-growing as the days and weeks pass. This particular email and resulting “expectations” are part of this ever-growing problem.

In my 10+ (lost count now really) years in education I have always hated the special education system, the paperwork, never-ending meetings, loop holes, favoritism, politics, etc that go with it. I believe it is a system that actually does a disservice to those in it rather than helping them, which is its primary intention. Additionally, the system, which was once avoided like the plague by parents who feared the label following their kids through life, has now become a sought-after program by parents wanting their children to get “special” attention even when their kid could manage without it.

Without going into more examples and ranting (which does no one any good really), I will say that I have determined the “system” – both the special education system and the education system as a whole – is a lost cause overrun by bureaucracy and politics. The system has lost its way. Education is not fun, it is tedious and wrought with booby traps. I feel for our future students as this system is doomed to failure.

testSo What is the Test?

I believe that this situation has been presented to me once again so that I can inspect it in more detail. On one hand I have a the strong, life-long goal of helping others, specifically those who cannot help themselves (the children in this case). On the other hand I have a similarly strong dislike for a bureaucratic system which puts money, politics and paperwork in front of the needs of those it is serving.

Often in this life I have come up against similar decisions. I mush weigh the potential positive outcomes with the potential negatives. Ultimately I must ask myself, “Is it worth it?”

One might think this decision easy, but for me it is not. My desire to help is quite strong. I enjoy working with students in the capacity that I am. I just do not enjoy the never-ending hoops I must jump through in order to do this. These barriers are why I did not continue to pursue my LPC. Too many laws, tests, and other accountability measures that I was/am not willing to deal with. I can understand having some accountability – fine – but when it becomes a hindrance to my work then I am in no way supportive of it.

I am blessed to be at a point in my life to have the financial security to leave my job. It is quite a relief to know that I do not need the money and can move on without issue. However, I still balk at the idea of leaving. Why is that? What is so difficult about making this choice? Is it the consideration that I will have “failed”? Is it the loyalty to the students who I help? Or is there something still left to be done?

In the past I have held on for longer than needed, hoping for some sign or some situation that forces a decision. Is this the “wrong” way? I wonder. I spent 7 years of my career waiting and ended up in such an awful place that I suffered from insomnia, depression and a near mental breakdown. I do not want to go through that again. I do not want to wait until my job is unbearable to leave it. But when to leave? Now when the signs suggest more problems will come? Or later, when the problems are upon me?

I don’t want to be a coward and I don’t want to mess up. I think, ultimately, that is why I stay even when I feel I should leave.

Flashing Lights

Speaking of “signs”, this morning as I was dosing, I was brought to full awareness by very bright red and blue flashing lights – the lights of a police car. When I saw them I acknowledged the message. But what does it mean? Is it just a reflection of my consideration of this decision? Or is it that help is on the way?

When I see the lights I think I am in trouble. That is my first assumption in general. I mean, how do you feel when you are driving and all of a sudden you see those lights behind you? I am filled with a deep sense of dread and anxiety. I immediately wonder what I did wrong and assume I am in trouble. Even knowing this is not always the case – police are here to hep (my ex was in law enforcement!) – I worry. This is not always the case, but most of the time it is and I get a ticket.

So what to do? Stay or go? Sigh.

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Aborted OBE and Messages

Upon waking this morning yet again at a very early hour, I called out to my Team to please help me understand all that had been transpiring over the past few days.

This is what I was told:

  • There is currently a “transmission” being received. I am “processing” this transmission.

I actually received this message more than once. There was simply the word “transmission” followed by a visual of the Earth and space implying this transmission was in the form of energy. I connected it immediately to “Wave X”.

  • My role now is to wait and observe; to be patient and open to the changes coming.

I received this message via a song: All We Are by One Republic. Specifically this part of the song:

We won’t say our goodbyes
You know it’s better that way
We won’t break, we won’t die
It’s just a moment of change

Aborted OBE

This morning I asked to either astral project or lucid dream. I was granted the lucid dream option but kept gaining too much lucidity, ultimately exiting my body and being told, “No” and coming right back into it. The message was that I needed to observe what I was being shown while in the lucid dream.

While in the lucid state I was shown a letter written by me from when I was the age of 5. I read the letter aloud in the dream and was astonished by what it said. Though I cannot remember it word for word now, I recall the what it was about. I was recounting contact with my Team when I was 5 years old. In it I was explaining to the reader how this contact was made and how I was to not remember it until a later date.

I came out of this lucid experience quite suddenly from the shock of reading it. I immediately felt the memory of it fade, like it was not really me, yet I knew it was and that it had happened. The conclusion I drew was that I had been “contacted” at that time to prepare me for later periods of similar contact. I had a strange sensation with this memory that part of me rejected. I still do not remember the specifics of the letter but I know how it made me feel.

Empty Plate

As I continued to experience the lucid state I kept seeing a repeating picture of an empty plate. Sometimes it would have the remains of food on it such as chicken bones and pieces of salad. Other times it would be empty except for some crumbs. I came out of these lucid states remembering dreams that I had long forgotten from this week, dreams where I was walking around holding empty plates and not putting food back on them.

Shoes

I had a brief vision of a pair of small, white tennis shoes hung up on a hook. With it came the feeling of preparing to die. It shook me so much that I came back to full awareness questioning the vision. I received no answer except an urge from within to focus on my heart center, which I did automatically. I immediately experienced a wave of calm that radiated out from my core and I no longer cared about the vision I received.

Lost Memory

I had upon waking a memory of another conversation and written message. The memory was of seeing the planet Earth and discussing a technological tool that would help or hinder those who used it. In other words it could be a tool to help if used properly, or a tool of destruction if used improperly.

When I awoke I was mentally calling this tool by a name and I repeated it several times in an attempt to remember it. Unfortunately, all that remains now is a visual of this “tool” and the name and purpose of it is lost to me. I also recall being very excited about this tool and its potential to help mankind.

A Star Will Be Seen

I had a vision of a large and brilliantly white star in the sky. What was peculiar about the star was that it could be seen in broad daylight. Along with the vision I knew it marked the beginning of something. When I later asked if I was going to see it, I felt I would not. When I asked why, I was told it would be over Bermuda. I wonder if it has anything to do with the Bermuda triangle?

Starseed Origins

Finally, I am being asked to remember my Starseed origins and the experiences I had in May.

The specific memory I keep having from May is of an OBE in which I met my Council and a member of my group who had recently taken her life and prematurely left her incarnation. I had touched her face and said, “You are real. You feel real”, as if I was trying to convince myself that she was still very much real to me. Some hours after this OBE I was hit with the most anguish I have ever felt in this life. It felt like a part of me had been ripped out of me and I grieved heavily for about an hour. I was barely able to function. The grief was incapacitating.

As for my Starseed origins, I am receiving the memory of it and then questioning it, always returning to the knowing that it is Truth. Specifically, I keep returning to the fact that I have been in stasis. I Know this is fact and I wonder to myself, “How long have I been in stasis? I remember so many past lives on Earth. Have I been in stasis all this time? Did I get caught up in the reincarnation cycle and forget my true purpose here? Is that why I have so many lives?”

There is along with these memories of who I am a feeling that I am suppose to do something. It is not quite a nagging feeling, but more of a knowing feeling. It is as if a part of me is trying to come out but is waiting for the right time. And all the while I am writing this, I have a warmth spreading out from my heart chakra.