Tag Archives: present moment

by

Stop Questioning

The past can teach us so much, if we take the time to listen.

In terms of the world, we all know this to be true. We are taught history as we grow and mature into adults, albeit a biased one depending on where you grow up. If we have good teachers, we are taught to pay attention to past mistakes so that we can avoid making them again in the present and future. Sadly, so many are not taught this, forget they are taught it or ignore what they are taught altogether preferring to be told what to do rather than think for themselves. And even if you are one of those who thinks for themselves, it is easy to get caught up in the present whirlpool of events and be blinded by them. 

The trap is real. It is forged by time and space, humanity and duality. We really do end up stuck in quicksand when we agree to incarnate into this physicality. 

For me, personally, the reality of forgetfulness has been hard to swallow. I knew it to be true in one sense – in that when we descend into this reality was Forget who we Are. I knew it partially in another – that memories fade as we age and ultimately become distorted by the degradation of our mental faculties. It has left me wondering, “How can I avoid making the same mistakes if I cannot trust my own memory?” 

The recent return of an old friend and lover has revealed just how unreliable my human memory is. The more I read through my old journals, the more I realize just how skewed my memory has become. Sure, it has been almost 20 years. I should give myself a break, right? But still, I am not that old yet and I had such certainty when it came to my memories. Yet, I am finding what I recall is very, very lacking and my selective amnesia is to blame.

Throughout our present email communication, I have felt a familiarity and a kind of dejavu sense. Curious, I dove into my journals to read, specifically, the old emails I had kept. What a shocker I was in for! Not only did I forget the emotion and the specifics of the relationship, but I noticed that the me of the past has not changed much in her reactions to life over the last 20 years. It was clear to me that my thoughts created my discontent. My constant looking forward, my constant seeking of “more”, and my feelings of inadequacy and lack drove me into despair time and time again. And, truly, I am such a drama queen!

As if to hit it all home, I had a distinctly synchronistic message come to me ahead of this realization. One morning, before my walk with our dog Monty, my attention was pulled to a cartoon my children were watching, Gravity Falls. If you don’t know about it, you should check it our because it has a lot of deeper meaning to include time travel, alternate realities, inter-dimensional travel and symbolism. In this one particular episode the main characters recognize that they had all been chosen to play specific roles. I saw that they wore symbols and, at the exact moment I was drawn to pay attention, the question mark symbol came into view. It was frozen in my memory. 

Later, as I returned from my walk, I looked down and saw clearly in the asphalt the outline of a perfectly shaped question mark. I paused, knowing it was no coincidence, and time seemed to pause briefly. I wondered what it meant as I turned and saw the stop sign ahead of me. I thought, “Stop questioning.” Hmmm

In putting two and two together, it was clear to me that most, if not all my self-created problems, were the result of my constant questioning. In my early years of awakening, my guides would tell me, “You’re asking the wrong questions.” I had always thought I needed to formulate my questions better, but in this moment I thought, perhaps, the real message was that I needed to stop questioning so as to not be pulled into the inevitable paradox that resulted. The Knowing process is not a mental one anyway, it is a spiritual one. Knowing is not questioning. Knowing is Knowledge that is derived from our Higher Selves, from our Core, from Source. 

And, of course, one of the things I noticed from my journal is that it was FULL of questions. I would ask so many and write the answers. Half or more of the answers I received about my own future never came to pass. So often I would catch myself laughing at my own naivety. My journal was full of examples of the snares I set for myself. It was obvious I was looking for adventure, for something magical and exciting to save me from my boring and very mundane existence. I imbued everything – every experience, every dream, every synchronicity, every thought – with significance and meaning. And then I would fight against that significance and meaning to create a masterpiece of a storyline and keep myself entertained.

The most humbling part of this realization is that I continue to do this to this day. I have shifted somewhat, yes, and matured despite my own self-sabotage, but in general I continue as always, a creature of habit, as we all are. 

But I am human after all.

Ultimately, I recognize that through all of this, the lesson is to learn to embrace the moment, to accept what IS. It is something one must practice daily until it becomes a new habit. It isn’t easy, either. Life has a way of making us forget (as I mentioned earlier). The quicksand will suffocate you if you fight it. Allow and you will remain above the surface. 

All of this goes hand-in-hand with gratitude. If you sit in acceptance of your life you feel nothing but gratitude. That gratitude is instantly lost when you compare the present moment with the past or the future. When one is truly in the present moment, the mind is quiet and you are filled with a presence that swells with gratitude. And if you allow that gratitude to grow by focusing solely upon it, something altogether greater is felt: Bliss.

Stop Questioning. Surrender. Accept. BE.

BEing, surrendering, accepting doesn’t mean you stop living. The moment is fluid and so must you be to remain within it. There is no DOing until the moment brings it into BEing. This is where the practice of Noticing is needed. You Notice an opening as the flow shifts subtly and then, in that moment, either choose to flow with it or continue to observe it. This choice is not made in the mind. It is automatic, made by the Higher Self. Once that moment is gone, it is gone. And that is OK. The Higher Self Knows and chooses in accordance with its purpose. There is no point in questioning that for it just IS. 

And with all the above Knowingness, I realize it was brought to me by a simple request, but one I have made time and time again with spotty results. The request was, “I want to feel the Bliss all the time.” Well, now we know how, don’t we? 

As if to further demonstrate, I had a night full of dreams where all I felt was Bliss. Not the raging, volcanic Kundalini kind of Bliss but the full body, tingling with Love kind. My favorite. It revealed to me my True Self, the one that I often find myself being when I am OOB or in a lucid state. I am pure Joy and wish nothing more than to share it with others, for when I am with others that Joy is amplified. 

by

Precog Dream Locates Lost Item

Hey everyone. Hope you haven’t given up on me. 🙂 I’m still alive and kickin’ just integrating on a whole.new.level.

In case you haven’t noticed, we have been in an energetic portal for some time now. The exact date eludes me, though. It was after the soul exchange but since I have been in super-hyper-drive I missed the recent shift until just a few days ago.

The portal has me doing intense multidimensional work. I wake frequently and have vivid memories way beyond weird. Even my weirdest experiences do not come close. I suspect they go hand-in-hand with my recent transformation. I am consistently being advised, however, to keep my experiences and Knowing to myself right now, so I am. The exact message I receive when I ask why I feel unable to share my experience is: DO NO HARM. And the feeling to not share is literal – I can’t….am physically unable. If I try to write my mind blanks out and I lose all motivation to do anything on the computer. I often end up doing something else and forget all about what I had intended to write about.

For example, I recently realized that I remember receiving implants for this lifetime (I can write about that I guess). In fact, I believe – um KNOW – that all my past lives are implants.

See. Weird. lol

And I had so much fun remembering/re-experiencing those past lives, too. Sigh. 😛

Why receive implants? To make it through this dense-as-hell lifetime, that’s why! Even though they gave me all kinds of screwed up engrams it gave me purpose and foundation. Without them I would have just died and gone back Home pronto. Totally counterproductive considering my mission.

On to the main reason for this post, which is pretty awesome IMO.

Precog Dream 

I haven’t been writing down my dreams but I remember this one because it was so strange and just kinda stuck in my memory. I told my daughter about it afterward, too, which helped me retain it.

In the dream I saw one of my sons on the floor in the laundry room. He had blankets all around him and was propped on a pillow. In his hand was the Nintendo DS my middle son recently got as a birthday present. He looked up at me while playing it and gave me a “look what I’ve got” smile.

That’s all I remember. Yeah, long, in-depth dream. hehe

The rest of the story here is that about a month ago the Nintendo DS went missing the same day as the remote to our SMART TV. I had to buy a new remote but everyone in the family was convinced my husband had hidden the DS so I swore not to buy another. Plus they are expensive as hell!

The above dream came last week, so about three weeks after the DS was lost. When I woke up I remember wondering if the DS was in the blankets in the laundry room. It made perfect sense that one of my sons would hide it there because my husband always hides their electronics. They hide them so my husband can’t hide them. I was so convinced that was where the DS was that I told my daughter about the dream.

Then I promptly forgot all about the dream and my intention to search the laundry room. <——— I do this kind of thing all.the.time now. It’s called living in the present moment and so that past moment was gone because it was, well, PAST.

So today I wanted to lay in the sun the minute I thought about writing in my blog. LOL I went down to retrieve the quilt we use which is stored in the laundry room. It is the exact blanket from the dream BTW. I was tidying up the room when I turned toward the blanket and the dream came back to me all at once. I thought, “I have to check to see if the DS is in there.” The minute I touched the blanket I felt it. Someone had slipped it under the first fold. HA!

The whole dream rushed into my memory and I was like a giddy little girl as I ran upstairs to tell the kids. What fun!

Thought it would be a fun share. Hope you enjoyed it.

Joy

One more thing….have you met Joy? I have. She lives in my heart all the time now.

When I wake in the morning I can’t wait to get out of bed. I am like a child – eager and excited. There is no reason to it for it is love for life and a genuine appreciation for another day.

Funny Quotes About Joy. QuotesGram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by

From OBE to Life

Today, after struggling horribly this morning with a most unsettling energy that made me shiver all over from the intensity of it, I followed the advice of my guide and left the house and the computer behind. While in my car the energy was hitting my head and my whole body was near convulsions as I tried to drive. I hit a stop light and had to calm myself as the thought hit me that I may pass out. I even began to sense the darkness entering my vision from the sides. I remembered to breathe and focus on my heart and by the time I reached my destination I was feeling better.

I spent the entire day out and about, most of it outside. I even took a walk with my husband and went to the playground with my children. As the day progressed I found myself noticing people that I normally would not notice. There was a man in the grocery store having a conversation on a cell phone. I couldn’t help but overhear what he was saying. He was from out of town and had no money, his debit card was broken and he could not reach his sister to get help. I passed him several times and wanted to stop and ask him, “How can I help?” There was an urge to do this but I resisted, thinking, “What if he is lying?” or “He will find help”. I did not end up talking to him and left the store without seeing him again. I now wish I had at least tried to help him.

Later, as I was stopped at a stop light, I saw a man with a sign asking for money. This is common where I live and I normally don’t take much notice. Yet for some reason I kept thinking, “I could give him some money” and wanted to. The more I looked at him, the more I tuned into his energy and felt compassion for him. I knew he was not normally one to ask for handouts.

The light changed and my chance was lost but the feeling of compassion remained.

On my way home I saw more homeless on the other corner. I felt bad for them as well and wondered about them. I even imagined yelling out to them from across the busy road but then decided against it for fear one would put themselves in harms way. Also, their energy was more muddled than the man I saw previously and I knew they would not appreciate my help.

homelessNudges

I did not have time to really contemplate much of anything all day, yet little tidbits of information did not wholly go unnoticed. I kept returning to my computer feeling I should write at least something of my experiences but the urge was never there. My mind was totally blank.

I decided to do some yoga and relax some and then again sat at the computer. I kept reading and re-reading the other post I wrote today as if I trying to not forget it. In the midst of reading over another one of my posts from earlier this year a thought hit me, a memory of a cognition I had earlier in the day. I thought, “I need to write about that”.

And here I am, writing and my mind is not clouded or muddled.

This morning after I got the message to leave (and I felt it urgently), I was preparing to leave the house. I felt hungry and instantly knew I needed to eat and felt led to the fridge to make myself a protein smoothie. I remember feeling consciously pushed in this direction and I did not resist.

This same nudging continued throughout the day. I called my husband out of the blue (nudge, nudge) and invited him for lunch. I told him I wanted to talk to him about what was going on with me. I remember thinking to myself, “I do?”

When we sat down, I had no idea what I wanted to say. We sat outside (which is out of character for me) and I listened to him, completely without any other thought than to hear what he had to say. When he finished I effortlessly told him what I wanted to tell him. It came out so well, without a glitch and I said something very out of character. My husband, of course, was pleased and I was speechless. When he asked me about it I told him, “I came here not knowing what I would say and then I just said all that”.

It was not that I didn’t want to say what I said. I did. What is odd here is that, normally, I have trouble hearing my husband as he talks about his work which is very boring to me. This time I was thinking of nothing but what he said. I had not one moment of anxiety caused by thinking ahead.

And I recognized that I spent the entire day –  in the moment!

Later, a thought hit me out of the blue and I nearly forgot about it except that it came back to me, as if I had put all this day’s events together somehow without consciously thinking about it.

I realized that these urges I have been receiving, I have gotten over and over again while OOB. Sometimes I go with the “suggestions” and other times I don’t. What has been occurring most recently in my OBEs is that when I do not follow the suggestions I pop back into my body. I lose that which I most want – to be OOB – because I do not listen.

And that is when it hit me: Perhaps that is what has been going on my entire life. I have not been listening and have missed that which I really wanted, to be happy and at peace, because I didn’t listen.

I know it seems small to those of you who consistently listen to your Higher Self, but to me this is HUGE. I am stubborn and I do not like to feel “controlled”. I have been getting messages for as long as I can remember from my guide to “listen”. I never really understood until today.

I listened (for the most part anyway) and my day was good. Pleasant. Positive. Balanced. I was more in the moment than I have ever been. My mind was not a mess of thoughts.

So there is a positive to all this kundalini and based just upon today I can’t wait to see what other positives come of it. And I hear my guide say to me, “Imagine that every day was like today and that is what you will have tenfold”.