Happy Easter everyone! I hope you have a beautiful day with positive interactions with friends and family.

I wanted to share with you a message I received this morning. I simply heard, “Slom 37” which I knew meant “Psalm 37”. The “Slom” was immediately understood to mean “sloth” (laziness).

If you read my post yesterday, then you know a little about the family drama surrounding my sister’s family. I believe this message was meant to help me manage my own reactions to this drama.

Psalm 37 basically gives advice on how to respond when we see undeserving people get rewarded for doing the “wrong” thing. Here’s an explanation of the meaning. In this case, it was sent to me because my sister and her husband fit in this category. The “sloth” part of the message refers to both of them. They choose either not to work or work very little hours in order to receive Welfare benefits from the government. My cousin (her husband) won’t work a normal job because his checks will get garnished by both the state and the IRS for back child support and taxes. My sister works a part-time job to keep her earnings low so she can be eligible for state aid as well. They rely on handouts from family and create their situation purposefully and with full knowledge of what they are doing. My sister even told me outright she was “learning how to work the system” after she got out of prison and planned to get pregnant because a child brings more free benefits. Everyone in my family is aware of this, even my mom, but my mom enables them far more than she should. Their child, her grandson, is mainly the reason and my sister and her husband recognize and exploit this.

This is just the short version. If everything I just wrote infuriates you, then you know how I felt for a long time. There is so much more, but I wrote all of the above without upset or annoyance. I know this is the lesson they came here to learn and it is also a lesson for me. Prior to coming into this life, the last memory I have of the Other Side is looking down at the Earth below and knowing my sister was already in life and needed me.

Psalm 37 from the King James version of the Bible:

Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.

² For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.

³ Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

⁴ Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

⁵ Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

⁶ And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

⁷ Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.

⁸ Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

⁹ For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.

¹⁰ For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.

¹¹ But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

¹² The wicked plotteth against the just, and gnasheth upon him with his teeth.

¹³ The Lord shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming.

¹⁴ The wicked have drawn out the sword, and have bent their bow, to cast down the poor and needy, and to slay such as be of upright conversation.

¹⁵ Their sword shall enter into their own heart, and their bows shall be broken.

¹⁶ A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked.

¹⁷ For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the Lord upholdeth the righteous.

¹⁸ The Lord knoweth the days of the upright: and their inheritance shall be for ever.

¹⁹ They shall not be ashamed in the evil time: and in the days of famine they shall be satisfied.

²⁰ But the wicked shall perish, and the enemies of the Lord shall be as the fat of lambs: they shall consume; into smoke shall they consume away.

²¹ The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth.

²² For such as be blessed of him shall inherit the earth; and they that be cursed of him shall be cut off.

²³ The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.

²⁴ Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.

²⁵ I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.

²⁶ He is ever merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed.

²⁷ Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore.

²⁸ For the Lord loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.

²⁹ The righteous shall inherit the land, and dwell therein for ever.

³⁰ The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.

³¹ The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.

³² The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him.

³³ The Lord will not leave him in his hand, nor condemn him when he is judged.

³⁴ Wait on the Lord, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it.

³⁵ I have seen the wicked in great power, and spreading himself like a green bay tree.

³⁶ Yet he passed away, and, lo, he was not: yea, I sought him, but he could not be found.

³⁷ Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace.

³⁸ But the transgressors shall be destroyed together: the end of the wicked shall be cut off.

³⁹ But the salvation of the righteous is of the Lord: he is their strength in the time of trouble.

⁴⁰ And the Lord shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.

Guidance

My take on Psalm 37 is that it is reminding us that our purpose here is not to judge others but to help them and assist them in their life lessons whatever they may be. To remember there is much more going on “behind the scenes” of life than we are meant to know. Often these “injustices” are meant to teach us about ourselves and how to love unconditionally. To have compassion in our hearts for everyone equally. To view life from the perspective of another. This is extremely hard to do with family. We have history with them, a history of doing wrong to them and them doing wrong to us. A history of hurt feelings, guilt, jealousy and more. This doesn’t even include the karma from other lifetimes either. The key is to somehow wade through all of the above and center ourselves in the love we feel for our family member. We may think, “I don’t love them. I hate them!” but ultimately, at the root of all of the emotional charge related to our relationship with them there is love. You cannot feel so much and carry so much emotional baggage for someone you don’t love. If we can contact that love and stay centered in it all of the baggage falls to the side and compassion, support and well wishes reign.

What helps me the most is to remember that the other person is choosing this for a reason and I have no control over what they choose. For example, yesterday my husband was going to take my two youngest in a convertible to go swimming with the top down. I insisted he put the top up because my youngest would likely stand up and I had all kinds of fears arise about him flying out the back of the car while it was on the highway. My husband agreed after much resistance. I stayed home and nearly burst into tears right after. My Companion reminded me, “It is not in your hands. It is his (my son’s) choice.” I knew this was true. No matter what I did, it was his choice to live or die. My Companion then said to me, “You’ve lost many babies but you won’t lose this one.” I knew he was telling the truth but regardless it was hard to get my emotions under control. We love our children so much and we think we are keeping them safe, we find comfort in that. But ultimately this is an illusion we create to help ourselves feel safe. They are choosing each moment of each day of their life, not us. It is hard to find comfort in that sometimes, but with trust it is possible. It is the same with our friends and family members who constantly make life choices that create problems for them. We see it, but they don’t, and we want to protect them from themselves. But we can’t. It is not our place nor our lesson. Our lesson is how to learn to let go and allow them their choice and consequence, good or bad.