Tag Archives: reality

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Synchronization

This morning this was revealed to me quite suddenly when I responded to a comment on FB:

There is a major purging of karmic debts, past life and current life issues, going on right now. We are being encouraged to let go of old habits and patterns and move into the “new”. To do this we have to be fully present in our bodies and in the moment.

There are multidimensional cross-overs occurring. This happened to me all day yesterday, as if I was/am working on several aspects of myself and synchronizing them. I spent most of the day yesterday doing this and was aware of it happening as time kept hiccuping/slowing down/speeding up and in those moments things were revealed to be let go of.

I spent most of the day yesterday walking around in a strange state of in-between. Life seemed very dream-like for the most part. At times different aspects of my day would be suddenly very clear, as if they were plucked out of my “dream” and presented to me for analysis. When this occurred, it was like time slowed down and I was standing face to face with some detail or consideration for inspection.

Crying Baby

In one instance I was at Target randomly walking around, not really sure why I was there. I heard a very small infant crying and this caught my attention. Time slowed down.

I saw the mother walking with a very new newborn on her shoulder. From that point on, I was tuned to this child and his mother and the moments ticked by very slowly.

As I exited the store the mother was checking out and the baby was wailing louder and most insistently. The mother said, “We are leaving now. It’s okay” and walked out of the store. I followed behind, observing as she threw a baby blanket right over his face and he stopped crying.

I became overly concerned then that the baby would suffocate and I had huge sympathy for the baby. I watched as the mother walked to her car.

I contemplated this for a while. I felt “off” and analyzed why. What was it that was causing this feeling and this obsession with the baby? It was then that my memory was flooded with images of other babies, other lifetimes, other situations. I recognized this was being presented to me for inspection. When I let it go, the concern for the baby vanished and in its place was the thought, “Things like that happen all the time and they shouldn’t. Children are tossed away, put into trashcans, thrown into deep wells, slaughtered in front of their mothers. It doesn’t have to be like this. It won’t always be like this”. It was an understanding that humanity was ready to move past this; to take a stand. That I was ready to take a stand.

Synchronization

As the day progressed, the slowed time continued to occur in blips, each time revealing something for inspection. Communication came in knowingness and understanding. It was/is very surreal.

Later, as I watched T.V., I became suddenly tired, my eyes drooping and my head feeling heavy with energy. I wanted to watch my show, but it seemed I was being told not to. In fact, I got the feeling that I needed to lay down.

I finally conceded and went upstairs to lay down. When I did, I felt strong sensations in my body – physical ones that were unfamiliar and odd. Specifically, my eyes hurt. I wanted to shield them but even this did not help. I also had a strange feeling in my right side that is hard to describe. It was not in a specific place but it made every position I laid in uncomfortable. These sensations were especially noticeable if I laid on my back.

Eventually I must have fallen asleep because I heard distinctly: “Don’t question the question until it has been thoroughly analyzed”. This brought on full awareness and I could not settle back down. All the strange sensations had vanished.

It was only later today that all these events began to make sense. I am putting the pieces of me back together. They have been long scattered over many lifetimes, making the completeness that is me difficult to access in this physical incarnation. Each slowing down of time, each inspection of emotion and thought, each connection made brings back an aspect of the Self that was lost back into the whole. This is the synchronization of the Self. Piece by piece brought into alignment and made whole.

It is this completeness that is the goal.

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Odd Thoughts, Feelings and Sensations

After six weeks of eating vegetarian, I ate meat. As soon as I did I felt sick to my stomach and very, very full despite having not eaten much. When I lay down to sleep I had a strong feeling that my eating meat was going to affect my sleep, specifically that I would project. Turns out, I slept very well and awoke feeling rested which has not been the case all week. On top of that, I was able to project six times!

Interestingly, my projections were very unreal compared to my past experiences. They seemed fake to me, but I don’t know why. In the moment each occurred, they were indeed very real and very obviously OBEs. However, there was something that felt very “off” about all of them.

When I awoke from them I was not happy about having them. I have already written about the strong feelings I have now since having these projections. I feel that “someone” or some group of someones is purposefully trying to distract me from something through these experiences. I know this is completely out of character for me, but that is how it feels.

Odd Feelings, Thoughts and Sensations

For a while now I have been having thoughts of this life, this reality, being unreal. These thoughts are random and have been increasing in frequency over the past two months.

Examples of such thoughts:

  • I will look at the sky and feel very tiny, almost insignificant while at the same time feel to be watching myself from high above where I am three times the size of Earth. The resulting feeling is that I will disappear or disintegrate. Vanish. Poof!
  • Sitting with my youngest, I was fiddling with his hair and thinking how similar it felt to that of a doll. Then with this thought came a feeling that the experience I was having – the experience of motherhood – was not real and that all my relationships were similarly unreal. It is all pretend and the only reason for it existing at all was because I wanted it to.
  • At times my body will feel foreign to me. It is hard to explain but there is a sense that it is not mine; not me.
  • I also feel that I am being watched. By who I don’t know for sure. Sometimes I think it is Me and other times I swear I catch a glimmer of a person or a shadow moving past.

I honestly don’t know what to make of all this. I find it peculiar that my OBEs this morning had the recurring theme of death. In some my sister and mother were dead. In the last there were two heads poking out of the ground and I though instantly that they were dead. Is this a reflection of me feeling disconnected from this life and everyone in it? Is that why I had such a strange feeling when I woke up? What am I missing? What is happening to me?

I was warned that I would have strange thoughts and it is coming to pass. I was warned that I would feel different, similar to a newly hatched chick. I suppose that could be why my body feels foreign to me and why I am feeling so strangely alienated from my family; family whom I should have an overwhelmingly strong emotional connection to. It could be why I have such strange sensations in my body – I am overwhelmed by noises, the sun seems to sear my eyes and later in the day I want to keep them closed all day they are so tired, I have odd urges to be touched but at the same time I reject touch, I am anxious around people I don’t know and feel overwhelmed by their energy despite shielding myself from it.

On top of all this the line from a song is repeating in my head, “You’ve gotta take it on your own from here. It’s getting pathetic and I’m almost done here”. This comes from a Greg Laswell song, “Come Back Down“.

I am still not sure what the lines in the song indicates but it causes my heart center to pull when I think of it.

Whatever is happening, I hope the part of the song that says, “I’m almost done here” is a message that this will soon be over.

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Redefining Reality

Like clockwork I am visited in the evenings before bed by my Companion. His presence and intent is made known via an intense pulling sensation in my third-eye. If I send out a mental query, I receive nothing in return. Yet if I direct my focus to my heart center, I received the communication. It is from this center that I receive his messages and accompanying comfort and calm.

I am unaccustomed to this new method of communication and struggle with it greatly. I want, no it seems I need, to translate the messages I receive into thoughts and words. Writing posts in this blog adds to this difficulty in translating what it is that I have received. In our original form we do not speak in words or even thoughts like what would be expected by us in the physical form. We speak in feelings which translate into a deep knowingness that is not limited to words/language.

My understanding is that I am to recover that which I have lost in the transfer into this human form. This includes, among many other abilities, the ability to know without the need to rationalize or analyze through the use of thoughts and language.

Yet at the same time I am still urged to share this process of transformation, of awaking to my True Self, with others. To do so means language must be used to translate all that is occurring. This is an intricate process because to use language incurs the use of the human mind and thus awakens the Ego to the process. It seems a catch-22 but I am assured it can be done.

Control of Thought

One lesson I am learning is how to control the random thoughts that are rising up out of my subconscious. They bombard me especially as I attempt to fall to sleep. Images such as a messy room strewn with torn paper and a pair of broken glasses and a counter top covered in spilled milk. The second these images appear there is an accompanying reaction of rejection and anxiety. It fills up my entire chest region and pulls me to wakefulness. I think of my youngest who has been into mischief these last few weeks – climbing up onto the kitchen counter or getting into things he should not. He has been known to toss dishes on the floor and break eye glasses (two pair now) among other things.

Image after image came into my mind last night and each time I awoke to a strong anxiety and upset. I pleaded to my Companion to help me. Why is this happening?

I was instructed to become the Observer and to note what was occurring each time one of these thoughts came into my mind. It did not take me long to recognize the pattern – visual appears followed by immediate rejection and welling up of anxiety.

It was then explained to me that these random images were the result of a purging of my third chakra and heart centers. There is a need to control my environment attached to a belief that if I can keep it under control then it cannot control me. The key to dissolving the images was to change my reaction to them. Acceptance is the key. Allow the experience to occur. Inspect the negative reaction. Allow it to teach me what it has to teach.

All experience has a lesson for us. To reject the experience is to reject the lesson. To reject the lesson means it will repeat until it is learned.

I appealed to my Companion, “But I react instantly and seem not to be able to control it”.

The response was that to control automatic reactions one must disengage and become the observer. And one must not be discouraged along the way for this is a habit that has been a lifetime in the making and will take time to reverse.

Discouraged, I felt suddenly very overwhelmed and wanted to quit.

I was then reminded that I must celebrate even the “smallest” of achievements.

Seeing Things as they Are

Still struggling to fall asleep, I was brought to awareness by a simple statement: “You will see things as they are rather than how you want them to be.”

I thought of it but could not stay focused and managed to fall asleep (finally!).

New Patterns in the Making

I overslept by 40 minutes this morning. My alarm did not go off and my husband and daughter forgot to wake me. As I rushed to get ready for work, my tired mind was interrupted periodically by the calming thoughts of my Companion. Each comment was in response to a thought of my own.

“I’m going to be late” was redirected with, “Let it go” and a feeling of calm and a knowing that it was not a big deal.

“I am going to miss my first appointment” was redirected with, “I can change my schedule”.

As I drove, I encountered a dreamy feeling and my vision was hazy. I briefly worried I would get into an accident and I was reminded that my thoughts create my reality and to control them. I no longer thought of “what-ifs” and drove faster than my normal cautious speed.

I arrived to work on time and noticed the sun in its brilliance as it rose. I heard my Companion say to me, “Celebrate! It’s a new day!” and I was filled with wonder and joy, as if this day was my first day of life.

And so far, it has been a good day.

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This is It

Since Monday I have been sensing a distinct change in the energy of Earth. As  a result my own energy has been affected.

Yesterday the energy seemed to “peak”. I felt this peak the most pronounced at around 4pm. I had the urge to go outside for a walk and took my children to the playground. While there, I walked around and around the playground, feeling my feet sink in the deep gravel. Today they felt even more comforting to me. It was like I was seeking a union with the Earth.

The sky was the most intense blue and clear of clouds. The temperature was in the mid 60’s and a little brisk but I enjoyed feeling it on my bare arms. I sat and stared at one of the large trees next to the playground. I became interested in getting up close and personal with it. So I went up and hugged one of its bare branches and looked up through its many leafless boughs into the blue sky. The contrast of color was distinct and breathtaking. I wanted to take a picture but I knew it wouldn’t do it justice.

Oddly, I felt inclined to smell it. I took a deep breath but hardly smelled anything. I tried again and was able to get a whiff of the faintest woody smell. I smiled and hugged the tree some more. It felt so solid and strong and I had a flash of childhood, climbing up high in the branches of a similar tree.

I spent another ten minutes or so just inspecting the tree’s bark. It had green lichen growing on it which for some reason fascinated me. There were also colors in the bark I had not noticed before: dark gray, white, light gray, and browns of varying shades. I lightly let my fingers flow over the bark, feeling each of the crevices and grooves. What a miracle!

Finally, I just stood holding onto the tree and feeling my feet on the green grass. I swear I could feel the energy of everything at that moment – the tree, the sky, the grass, the dirt, the pebbles – everything! I remember thinking, “This is just like astral. It is the same. There is no difference. It is all real”.

And I realized what I have been missing right here in this reality. This. This IS IT. And when I go to other realities it is the same. I miss so much detail. So much life. It is all around me and I walk right by without thinking to look; to see.

It is true: We can see our reflection in everything. One is the other.