Tag Archives: regression

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Two More False Beliefs

Session was very productive yesterday. I continued to delve into my false beliefs and found a couple more.

False Belief: Threats will get you what you want.

This was the first false belief I ran into. This one was very embedded within my psyche. This may be unbelievable to most of you, but I followed it all the way back 8.25 million years to its source. I would not have believed it myself except that first, long ago memory was very clear. As it is likely unreal and could potentially cause upset to those reading, I will not go into detail about what I re-experienced.

The experience of going that far back in time was quite a revelation to me. My human mind had difficulty accepting it or even the possibility that my consciousness having existed for that long. Yet my HS knows this to be true, to be fact. We are timeless; infinite.

I encountered a fear also of this vastness of time. It was almost a terror and it worried me while at the same time alerted me to the fact that this was illogical. Upon further inspection I explored the source of this fear in session and was able to determine that there is an event that occurred in my existence on the time track at approximately 1 million years ago. I did not explore any further than that since my focus now is on false beliefs but I am sure I will encounter this event at some point in my exploration of Self.

Note: This fear is exactly why I do not share with you the life I re-experienced as it could lead those ill prepared for such an exploration into ten times the reaction I had. One must only go where they are ready to go else face dire consequences.

False Belief: If I’m miserable, others must be miserable, too.

This one was a doozie. Thankfully, its source only went to 1888 and into a lifetime I was well aware of already. Unfortunately, I delved into parts of it that were devastating blows to the little, eight-year-old girl I was when it occurred. This life I previously wrote about in a post Past Lives Part II. The date says 1920 (the date of my death in that life) but the entire life was traumatic.  Most of the trauma began in 1888, after the death of my mother.

Since I already recounted most of that life in the other post, I will say here that this exploration of that life was to focus on when I caused someone to take on the belief that if they are miserable so then others must be made miserable. The end result was that I, as a little girl, assumed responsibility for the actions of my father in that lifetime. I held tons of guilt and felt I needed to be punished. This was, of course, wrong, but for a little girl who could not understand what was happening to her, this was the only thing that made sense. If your parent punishes you, then you must have deserved it – right? Wrong. So this life revealed much and as a result released lifetimes of pain, guilt, anger and loss.

Lots of Work

To those reading my accounts of the extrication and elimination process, you might think it is too fast, too easy to be possible. I want to share with you just how hard this has been and will be for me.

1. These lives are so horrible, so filled with pain, that it is very difficult to find them. One’s first reaction is to think they are not real, or made-up. This is a protective mechanism of the subconscious mind and must be surpassed in order to contact past lives containing intense emotion and other trauma. When I recall these lives it is very hard to get to the memory as it is very occluded but with persistence (and many times fear) I expose them.

2. It took me 6 hours to find and eliminate the above two false beliefs. I may still have more to eliminate on the second one. Much of the time was spent re-experiencing huge amounts of emotional release. Imagine tears, more tears and a feeling of having your heart ripped out over and over. Believe-it-or-not, when you re-experience the pain, it dissolves and what is left is an objective view of what happened. You can’t get to the objective part until you release the emotion that blankets the experience.

3. It takes courage and belief in Self to do this. It is not for the faint of heart, the timid or the fearful. I schedule my sessions only twice a week because I need a break in between to fully absorb the results (which are very rewarding and positive).

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1950

Today in session I went back to the year 1950. I have been to the particular life before but not this specific memory.

Electroshock Therapy (ECT)

When I touched on this memory the first time I was hit with such a panic in my chest that I lost my breath. At the same instant I knew I had ECT and it was the source of the panic.

Upon further inspection, I was able to see quite a bit of the entire treatment series from the moment I came into the room to the moment I left it. The room had a large, double-sided glass viewing area behind which stood an odd-looking chair with straps on it. It reminded me first of a dentist chair but I knew it was not one. There were two male doctors wearing traditional scrubs and masks and a female nurse who ushered me in.

The nurse wheeled me into the reception area and spoke to me, telling me it would be okay, not to be nervous and that it would not hurt. Then one of the male doctors approached me with paperwork and asked me to sign, explaining he had to have my consent. My mind was very confused and chaotic at the time. All I recall thinking is that I was insane and then contradicting that thought with the opposite thought. I recall seeing myself sign the sheet. I could see a large J or looped L in my name.

I then saw them do something with my wrist/hand. I thought I was also stamped or ID’d but I am not sure.

When I got into the chair they placed something over my eyes and the doctor to my right told me to relax. I felt pressure on my temples, more on my right than my left.

The next thing I recall is a very bright white flash. It was then that I left my body.

I spent the next minutes outside my body hovering over it and watching the scene with interest. I felt very detached from my body. I knew it was mine but I did not care much about it. I saw that I had blue colored goggles or something over my eyes, was wearing a hospital gown and had something over my feet. I was also strapped securely into the chair. I saw the man on my left standing over a machine that was gray in color with a black knob. I also saw the grayish colored stone of the room and the tile ceilings. There was various wires around my body as well and what I think might have been an IV bag.

I heard the man on my right say, “Are you okay?” and I was back in my body. I felt very confused and disoriented. I could not remember who I was or where I was. The feeling was not scary at first but then it was, especially as I began to feel my body. I had sensations in my present body of being very hot and wanting to clench my teeth. I also had the odd sensation that my teeth were made of wood and solid. The hot sensations eventually passed after I went through the life a number of times in order to find all the details.

After the procedure was done, they had me stand and then sit in the wheelchair. They asked me questions I could not answer and I was told it would be okay several times. I remember feeling very mentally dull but it was clear that my disorganized thoughts were gone. In fact, almost all thinking was gone. I was very sad afterward, thinking, “It didn’t work” over and over.

I knew prior to the ECT that I had been suffering from major depression to the point of catatonia. I had suffered greatly at the hands of my abusive husband. I eventually lost it when he began to beat our daughter and I met him at our front door with a rifle of some sort and shot him in the shoulder. He did not die but you can imagine the trauma that came of it, especially since I was a Black woman in the South.

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Blasting Through the Past

Today I went into session and ran into quite a few past lives.

France, 16AD

The first thing I remember about this life was my death. I was hung and I was forced outside my body when I couldn’t breathe. I would go back into my body only to be forced out again the next time I lost consciousness.This went on for at least a half hour. The people who hung me left my hands free and what do you do with your hands when you are hung? You try to rip the rope out from around your throat. But it is futile.

Why was I hung? I immediately recalled the previous weeks where I had been sneaking off with a young maiden into the woods and doing unholy things. I was found out and immediately dragged to a tree and hung. Oh the things one will do for love (or sex in this case!). I also recall that I was a simpleton in that life. Not exactly bright. The main thought in my mind when I was dying was “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid” along with a feeling that “they” had been right about me all along.

While recalling this life/death, I felt in my physical body areas of the past pain “light up” and then “turn off”. Specifically the top of my head where they had hit me when they took me down, the tips of the fingers on my right hand where I grabbed the noose, and the very top vertebrae of my spine. My heart chakra was also buzzing with energy the entire time. It always amazes me how trauma “recurs” in the body when it is remembered, even if it is from a very, very long time ago.

Eastern Europe, Early Middle Ages during Roman rule

I recalled my death and again I was at the point where I was forced out of my body by an impact. This time I had been wounded by an axe-like weapon.

I saw my body laying on the ground face up in reddish colored dirt. I was wearing a copper-colored armor of some sort but it obviously didn’t protect me against the weapon that hit me. I had a huge gash from my right shoulder down to my left hip and it there was a red, gaping wound in between.

I hovered over the body for about ten minutes very alert to the fact that I was mortally wounded and not really caring about much else. I was not conscious of being OOB. I thought I was dreaming. I remember not having any guilt or remorse from life and thinking only of my duty which was to kill the enemy.

India or Asia, around 600BC

This was a memory of my birth. What was odd is that I recall not being in my new body until after I/it came into the world. I waited and watched my mother give birth to me. She was very pale skinned and completely naked. She was also covered in sweat and making a lot of noise, screaming and moaning. The room was dark with a reddish hue and there were women helping her give birth.

When the baby, my new body, came out I instantly went into my new body. But I could not breathe. There was something over my face and I gasped for my first breath. On top of that, I was allowed to fall to the floor and it was some distance though the fall was not a hard one. I felt my new tiny heart pounding in my chest as I struggled to live. I heard my mother screaming, “No!” and heard a woman tell another woman to get a sheet. It was not in a language I am familiar with so it took me quite a while to translate what I heard.

Then I was looking up at this woman who had medium toned skin and straight, long black hair. She also had something on her face, either tattoos or jewelry. She looked down at me and pulled away whatever was covering my face. I took a breathe and was relieved and calm. The woman was kind and saying something under her breath. I believe she was praying or inciting something. She touched my forehead several times and I heard my mother call out, “I want to see him”. There was quite a bit of fuss over me and my state at this time and though I struggled to remember the exact words there was a sense that these women thought me to be very special. I specifically recall hearing myself referred to as “one who sees”.

As I think back to this life I am enthralled by it. I knew I chose to enter my new body last minute on purpose. I also knew I was born in the caul that life. That was why I couldn’t breathe. I made the decision never to come into my new body that late again. It was much too traumatic!

Finally, I wonder about the situation into which I was born. My mother was white in comparison to the women who helped her birth me. Were they slaves? I wonder….

oliveMiddle East/Mediterranean, during Egyptian rule 1000BC

This memory is a short one. I initially recall being in the branches of a tree reaching to pick a fruit. I knew the fruit was an olive and that I was a young boy of around 8-9 years of age. The memory continues with me slipping and falling to my death. I hit my head and snapped my neck.

In going over the memory I knew that I was in a rural area that was either occupied or ruled by Egypt at that time. The year was about 1000BC, though it was hard to determine because I don’t think years were thought of that way back then. My mood was very happy and care-free. I had no idea what was about to befall me and when it happened I did not feel any pain.