Tag Archives: shift

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Savasana: Corpse Pose

The amazing happy feeling I had yesterday continues today. I got physically tired last night but could not fall asleep. I was still buzzing with a high, elation. Through the night I woke several times to the helmet sensation over my head, though it was greatly diminished from the intensity of April 2nd.

The energy has leveled out today. This short reprieve will likely make many people relieved who have been shaken up physically, emotionally and spiritually by this sudden shock wave of energy. Unfortunately, the reprieve will not be long as it will increase again tomorrow, April 4th.

I am looking forward to tomorrow. 🙂

Savasana: Corpse Pose

Although I do not remember many dreams last night, this morning after waking several times, I fell into the in-between and had a short semi-lucid dream.

In the dream I was in a golden colored room with golden colored furnishing. It was a very comfortable space and I felt relaxed. There was a man with me but I cannot recall his face now. He and I were discussing time and when talking about it I had a short dream within a dream about our discussion.

The dream within a dream was of me leaving a restaurant. I ran into some parents who were very happily chatting about a birthday party. One woman, who had short, curly blonde hair, said to me, “The teachers aren’t suppose to get here until later”. I said, “Oh I work different hours. I usually get to work at 9:45 and get off at 3:45”. She said, “Oh! I see. Those are odd hours”.

As I left and drove out of the parking lot I was thinking about my hours, trying to add them up 8 and finding they fell two hours short. I realized I had been late to work every day and decided to fix that.

I came back to the conversation with my guide and saw in front of me a word written on paper. It said, “Savasana”. I did not understand it at first so repeatedly spelled it to myself. At some point, though, my guide referred to the word and I knew exactly what it was and lay down on the floor in Savasana to demonstrate.

Interpretation

When I awoke I heard my children yelling downstairs and remembered they were coloring Easter Eggs (yes very early for that but my oldest is persistent!). I knew the dream was indicating that I needed to “get back to work”. My “work” being my family and physical existence. I knew this mainly because I had a song in my head that was saying, “The kids aren’t alright“.

The Savasana message was interesting to me and I knew that I was being instructed to sleep in this position, though I do not remember the specific conversation. I found this article on Savasana that gives a good explanation of why I was being instructed to lay in this position. Here is an exerpt:

Most of the time, we live in loops of distraction. Patanjali calls this avidya, or ignorance. Ignorance is related to the act of avoidance. In Savasana, however, we need not avoid. We simply notice, with evenly hovering attention, whatever shows up, and then allow it to pass on, to die, so that we can arrive in the present moment. Savasana offers the possibility of “a small death, every moment, every day,” says Pattabhi Jois. Much of what we notice in yoga practice is our patterns of attachment and repulsion…….Yet part of the process of allowing our preconceptions and our reactions to our anxieties to pass away is to allow for our categories of the unacceptable to fall away…….. Instead we lie down with all of our repulsions and all of our attachments, both of which are sacred, both of which teach us about our strategies of attraction and avoidance and where we are in relation to the present moment. Observing these patterns allows us to suspend those very strategies and surrender to the feelings that we have been avoiding. This surrender gives way to spaciousness in the mind and body. When one practices this way there is space enough for everything.

I received many messages yesterday indicating that my the next stage for me is to let go of more of those things – thoughts, beliefs, routines – which do not serve me and my purpose. I kept hearing the old gospel song, “Bringing in the Sheaves” and recognized with certainty that I need to work on letting go of two things: 1. Fear and 2. Attachment. I am also working on living in the present moment. All these fall in line with the Savasana message I received this morning.

We can all learn a thing or two from Savasana. I recommend to those struggling right now with the Shift to lie in this pose and allow yourself to surrender to the things (symptoms) you have been avoiding. Allow yourself to be detached from that which repulses you, observe it and allow it to pass as the moment passes.

As my guide loves to tell me, “This too shall pass”.

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The Consciousness Ripple Effect

I am seeing something that should have been obvious to me but up until today was not. Consciousness is a ripple effect. It moves out from the center and touches all experiencers/experiences, increasing them all to the same degree.

I have so many thoughts pouring through me right now but I can’t get out of my mind this idea. I remember all my OBEs and the crazy child personality that often comes with them. I remember how I rarely stay in the moment in my OBEs, but flit from here to there. I recall how I struggle with myself and against myself while OOB, only recently letting go and surrendering, allowing myself to be taken off by the wind even. I recall how my vision is often a problem, as is my hearing.

I am the same in waking life as I am in my OBEs. I often am on autopilot. I often fight with myself. The world is mostly gray and dismal with sparks of color here and there. I also don’t listen too well.

Yet today I saw that as I increase consciousness in this experience so will it increase in the others. I can see that this experience is but one in a million or more experiences I am having all together at the same time. My consciousness can be with any one of them at any time it chooses. Yet it will not be more in one than it is in another.

Imagine being fully conscious and aware in any one of your experiences at any time. Imagine “waking up” all at once to all of them, at once.

Mind blowing.

I also recall setting the intention recently to be more present in the moment. This is for waking life. I sense that my experience could be more clear, more real than it has been. I want that and I am looking for it throughout my days, constantly reminding myself to be “present here” and pulling my thoughts away from the past or the future.

I am happier because of it.

We must master the present experience in order to master all experience.

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Do You Feel It?

I awoke this morning to the most fantastic, happy feeling I have ever felt upon waking. My guide was right there with me and I could not go back to sleep. Again. My energy has been high the past few days but this is beyond a normal happy feeling.

The feeling reminds me very much of how I feel after having really good sex. 😀 It is an “afterglow” feeling but it is much better than any afterglow I have ever had. I don’t recall doing anything unusual in dreamland either – no astral sex, no kundalini energy, nothing out of the ordinary.

Perhaps if I look into my dreams I will find the source of this fantastic, sublime, blow your mind feeling?

Asking Forgiveness

I had a really detailed dream where I met up with an old classmate. We were in a bar in Montana just chatting and talking. I had a semi-lucid moment where I realized who it was I was talking to and so told him, “You know when we were in 7th grade and I broke up with you the way I did? That was wrong of me and I’m sorry. I felt pressured to do it and I really felt bad about it. Still do”. He smiled and said, “No problem. I understand”.

We then spent time catching up on each others lives, him talking about his wife and introducing me to her.

Then someone stole my car out of the parking lot and there was a side-dream about that and me getting it back. It was a nice sports car. I think it was black.

That was when I awoke feeling so wonderful and my guide was there talking to me. I can’t remember everything we talked about now but he was trying to communicate something important to me, encouraging me to go into the in-between. Every time a message would start coming through I would become too aware and miss most of it, though. I was just too happy and excited.

Taking the Fence Down

In one of the in-between times I recall talking with my guide while standing in a green yard. He asked me, “Do you want to keep the fence up?” I said cheerfully, “No. Take it down”.

I woke up and knew this was important but I was not sure how. I think the fence symbolizes my resistance to something, perhaps the changes I have been going through. Me taking it down suggests I am open to allowing in more of this energy and change.

Hearing From the Heart

I also recall being told this by my guide:

“You will hear me differently. Soon.”

“What does that mean?”

“You will hear me from the heart”.

I didn’t and still don’t quite understand. Perhaps it is just feeling him and not so much hearing him.

I Finished!

Another in-between message I received was seeing and hearing my daughter as she jumped up and down. She yelled, “I finished! I finished!”

I woke up knowing I had finished something. I felt very proud.

You Can Project

I told my guide I wanted to leave my body. He told me I was “blue” indicating my energy was high enough to astral.

I tossed and turned for some time, not able to settle the amazing, excited energy I felt.

I finally laid on my back long enough to feel the vibrations indicative of astral. I was fully conscious and surprised at how intense the vibrations were.

My guide said, “You can project now”, as if he wanted me to just get up out of my body.

I didn’t know if I could do that so asked, “How?”

He told me to relax into the vibrations. I tried but relaxation was not forthcoming. Again, I was too happy and excited and you know what? I didn’t mind not going OOB. I was fine right here in the physical.

The energy intensified around my head like a helmet. I also felt energy in my second chakra as well as in the other chakras. It tickled and was pleasant.

Continued Energy Helmet

I have had the energy helmet over my entire head all day. As I drove my son to his doctor appointment it was intense and I felt very floaty as I traveled the highway. I actually felt similar to how I feel in astral and I felt a juxtaposition occur. I feel like I am here and there at the same time, riding a wave right through the middle of two worlds and able to navigate either one at any time. Weird!

I was asked if I wanted it to stop and I told my guide “No”. I knew the worry was all me and the feeling was completely controllable. Just like in astral.

The energy continues even now and the amazing feeling is still with me.

I have just been all smiles today. Ear to ear.

Do you feel it?

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The Next Three Weeks: What to Expect

As the full moon approaches the energy seems to be building and building. I feel about ready to explode with energy! Yesterday I spent most of my day outside or exercising in an attempt to control the energy. Though I ended up feeling physically exhausted by day’s end, I did not sleep well. I tossed and turned most of the night and woke up four or five times. Each time I woke up from a vivid dream. All this despite taking Benadryl to help me sleep.

Today I can still feel the energy and I know it is only going to keep on rising. On a personal level this doesn’t really concern me since I seem to be better able to handle the energy increases than I use to. However, I know that with such increases others are not so good at adjusting and channeling the excess energy.

I have been forewarned that today there will be a “spike” at around 2pm CST. I am ready!

I can’t help but think about the message I received not long ago about a period of three weeks starting around the time of the full moon (coming up this Saturday). What do the upcoming changes mean for those still struggling with the Shift?

What to Expect

I am told that those who are in the beginning stages of the Shift, both conscious and unconscious of it, will be overwhelmed by the waves of energy soon to come. Some will be downright plowed over by it. This can result in flu-like symptoms – body aches and pains, headaches, fatigue, digestive problems, joint pain, stiffness, and lack of motivation to name a few. Mentally there will be some who just cannot handle the mental fog that descends down upon them seemingly from out of nowhere. They will be more negative – snapping at people and just being downright nasty at times.

Those who have progressed to the middle and later stages of the Shift may not notice much. It all depends on what chakra centers are being purged and aligned for them. Those working on the heart may find themselves overly emotionally charged both positive and negative. They also may have higher incidences of anxiety and heart palpitations. Those working on the throat chakra may be more or less talkative, have difficulties swallowing and/or have symptoms in the throat area that come on suddenly and then disappear just as suddenly.

Those working on the third-eye will sense the energy of others which could, in turn, cause them to mistakenly assume the emotions they are feeling are their own. They may pick up a myriad of emotions from others and this can be a challenge, especially if they are around people struggling with adjustment. For those new to this ultra-sensitivity to others emotions (empathy) it is a good idea to practice self-protection by grounding and protecting, using a crystal or just avoiding negative people.

Finally, those working on the crown chakra can expect physical symptoms such as skin rashes and sensitivity, insomnia, and stomach upset. Some will have more incidences of communication with their Higher Self and/or knowingness, intensely vivid dreams and even astral travel or trance states.

This website has a great list of the chakras and the body systems they affect. If you are struggling regularly with a specific physical or emotional issue you can look for it on this site and it will tell you which chakras it relates to. Then you will know what chakra(s) you are currently clearing and aligning.

I also want to remind you that chakra clearing does not always happen in a recognizable sequence. So, you may be experiencing multiple chakras clearing at once and in no particular order. I have found in my own experience, however, that the lower four chakras tend to clear prior to the three higher ones.

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Tending House

My sleep is being interrupted again and this time I cannot return to sleep. My dreams are very involved and near lucid, making it difficult for me: 1. to forget and 2. to get a good rest.

Runaway Truck

I recall watching from above, as if viewing a movie, as a green garbage truck drove itself down a road. It then changed its mind and turned around. It did this again and again running into things in the process. I recall having a discussion with a police officer from a large city about this disturbance at the time. The feeling was that I was overseeing this small town and was being evaluated by my supervisor.

Me and my supervisor then hovered over continents of green. I had a feeling of being a traveler at this time and reviewing past travels. I do not remember all that was said but there was a mini-story in which I was with a group deciding where to go next.

I then was on land in a field of green watching my superior talking to an old woman. The old lady had Alzheimer’s and I recognized she had been the truck from before. Now she was driving an ATV amidst a field of buffalo. She accidentally ran into a cow and apologized as she returned. I watched all of this as an observer.

Interpretation

A garbage truck is a symbol of old habits that need to be “trashed”. To be a police officer represents one’s morality and conscience. Since my superior is also an officer it suggests I am being helped to follow this moral path. The Alzheimer’s woman likely symbolizes me and my “forgetfulness”. Since the woman runs into a buffalo, which symbolizes survival, strength or power, it suggests that my forgetfulness could harm my survival.

Tending House

I was watering my lawn which was dying and being overgrown by weeds. A kindly neighbor was helping me decide where to water. On one side I discovered a rocky creek with towering trees built into my yard. The trees went up so high I could not see the sky through them. I recall thinking someone had planted them all at the same time.

Inside I was rearranging furniture. I had three living areas and saw more towering trees, this time inside the house! There were people working on art projects as well. I complimented a student on his. He wheeled toward me a cart with a tray of opaque, white goo on it. They were heating it up. Another tray contained pomegranate but it looked more like circular, gel balls. I took one ball and mixed it with the goo and heated it up. I scortched it a little but then took the ball and rubbed it on my feet.

Interpretation

A house is an aspect of my subconscious. The front yard is the part of me I allow others to see. I have weeds in my yard suggesting there are things needing tending to in my life. The water is emotion and my attempt to grow positive relationships in my life. The trees represent a positive aspect of this part of me, specifically my spiritual development and focus on myself. It is the most orderly part of the yard.

Inside my house there are also trees indicating strength. Living rooms represents beliefs I have about myself and life and the barriers I put up between my public and private self. The pomegranate represents good health but also the allure and invitation of sex. The fact that I am rubbing this into my feet suggests that I am seeking to add this into my life and identity.

I felt really off when I woke up over an hour before I was suppose to. I told my guides, “If my sleep is going to keep being interrupted by these weird dreams, I would rather not remember them”. I was reminded of the time period when I did this before and how lacking I felt. I saw this truth but then also saw there was still something lacking. I recognized this “lacking” to be what is interrupting my sleep and causing me to feel disconnected from my life. I saw then the connection between my feet in the dream and my current feelings of being disconnected from my life.

Current Symptoms of the Shift

  • Interrupted sleep
  • Weird dreams
  • Shooting pain up and down right side of body (brief episodes)
  • Itchy Dry skin/acne
  • Melancholy
  • Disinterest in life
  • Aches and pains in body
  • Ringing in ears
  • Moments in life hitting me with vivid clarity/being fully Present
  • Zoning out during the day
  • Disconnected feeling
  • Thirsty
  • Nausea in morning
  • Sty in left eye
  • Restless legs/shooting pains in legs
  • Having to ground at night more often
  • Visual anomalies – lights, flashes, colors, shapes
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You are the Lotus – Message from the High Council

Like many others right now, I am finding myself conflicted with myself over some things in my life. It is not with all things that this happens. As I wrote yesterday, I most often do not disagree with the adjustments and changes I am being asked to consider. However, there is a big one that keeps coming to me: slowly remove myself from social media and decrease my focus upon spiritual pursuits and in turn put my focus more upon living life. In this one small action I allow myself to experience more fully that which I came here to do.

I do not remember my dreams from last night but when I awoke I knew this change was something I was being asked to consider. Thus, I was not happy when I opened my eyes. I did not want to get out of my bed. There is still a part of me that wants to put all my focus in the spiritual but I know, I KNOW, this is not good and will not help me advance.

I decided then and there to stop completely my focus upon the spiritual (this is normal for me – all or nothing mentality) and heard right away my guide saying, “You do not have to do that. Just focus on both equally”.

I don’t know if I can.

As I sat down to write about my experiences I got a message. Perhaps this will resonate with some of you as well.

There comes a time amidst and within the depths of the most uniquely challenging aspects of the Shift, that you will find yourself split between the “I” of the old you and the “We” of the new you. As this occurs, you will feel undoubtedly conflicted about what to do and sometimes even what exactly it is that you are feeling.

This particular process is what you have come here to experience. That which was the old way of living life on Earth is now being discarded, tossed into the wind. Within this action of letting go there is always to be expected some resistance. Fear, nervous apprehension – this is unmistakably the hardest aspect of the Shift many will encounter. It is important that during this time you listen to you inner, most deepest longings; that part of you that wells up from within when you are moved by a moment of love. This part of you, the We that has been emerging for some time, wants only to embrace you and help you lovingly transition into this new world. Like the lotus flower, you will emerge bright and open to experiences, lovingly accepting all that Is into your arms without judgement or self-interest. This is where you will land when this culminating period passes.

All is within your reach.

Do you see it? It is right in front of you! There you are!! Aren’t you beautiful!?

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City of Gold

I had a lot happen last night so this post will focus only upon the OBEs I had.

Wrapped in a Blanket

I had been dreaming and had an encounter that was sexual in nature that woke me up. When I awoke my body was abuzz with energy – vibrations on full force; head covered in energy; loud, high pitched ringing in the center of my head; third-eye, throat and second chakra buzzing pleasantly. I felt my guide near and so stated, “I want to astral”. While he was responding I rolled out of my body and off the side of the bed.

I immediately had full perceptions and was standing in the living area of my Mom’s house. A bit thrown off by this immediate trans-location, I took in my surroundings. It was light but not vividly bright and I could see the tile floor. In front of me was a medium-sized child wrapped in a green blanket. I did not recognize him but he came toward me and I ended up wrapped up with him. The speed of this occurrence surprised me and I went back into my body.

City of Gold

I awoke at 5am and my guide was close, talking to me. I will include what we discussed in another post, but I ended up going downstairs to get something to eat and then fell back to sleep. I again stated that I wanted to astral.

I became lucid within a dream and felt the vibrations signaling that I could exit. As soon as I intended, I was OOB.

For some reason this initial section of the OBE is blurry. At the time it was intensely vivid but now I can only grasps aspects of it. I know that I was inside a house that was similar to my Mom’s but wasn’t that house. I also recall that I stated out loud my intent which was, “I want to truly see myself”.

I recall mostly vivid colors – a golden yellow, orange, white swirls and other vivid colors. I also know I was flying and talking with my guide as I flew. I ended up outside at one point and saw the trees of my mother’s yard and the blue sky. I recall feeling very free and alive, as if I was the most powerful person in the world.

There was an instant when I began to feel my energy lag and my vision began to darken. I paused and stated to myself, “I need more energy” and then said, “More energy”. Before I was finished saying it I felt myself being pulled swiftly upward with such a velocity that my vision completely blacked out. At the same time I felt as if I were being pulled by my eyeballs and there was a sensations of them being peeled from the front to the back of my head. It was almost like someone had put hooks into my eyes and pulled; as if I were a fish being reeled in. Along with this weird feeling was the most massive amount of energy I think I have ever felt in astral. I cannot even describe it but at the time I thought that I was being taken to a different level or plane. I panicked at first but then let go, resolving to surrender to whatever was happening.

When the sensation of movement stopped, the energy settled down and my vision came back. I was standing in front of a mirror inside the house. There I saw myself looking back at myself as clear as day. My hair was a bit longer than it is now, maybe shoulder length, and my face had acne spots on it.

I smiled at myself and then said out loud, “Oh, so I am seeing myself! I get it”. I did not get disappointed even though I had meant something other than actually getting a visual glimpse of myself. I actually laughed at how literal requests are taken! I should have known!

I moved on from this point and flew out the window. I decided to state a different intent and said, “I want to see the past life that is most influencing me right now”. I actually reworded this a couple of times before settling on the final version.

mandalaWhen I was done stating my intent I heard voices of children and saw a young boy running below me. I quickly hid up under the tree canopy and watched as he and a group of boys rushed up underneath. Some had skateboards and at first I was afraid. I immediately told myself, “They are me” and calmed down, then went down to join them.

I talked to them for a bit, commenting on one boy’s skateboard. Then I invited them to come with me and we flew up into the air towards the road. One of the boys pointed to the sky and said, “That’s not good” and I looked and saw dark storm clouds in the distance. There was a shaft of energy shooting from the cloud straight into the ground. The energy was black mixed with other colors, especially white.

I told the boy, “Oh, that is a portal!” As I said it, the portal split off and became several small tornadoes. I had thought I would investigate but now thought different and so went the other way. The boys followed.

For a time I flew along with the boys and began to sing with all my heart, “I can see the light, oh-oh-oh”. The song was beautiful and I even heard voices accompanying me. Unfortunately, my vision began to falter despite singing. I was pulled upward very quickly once again and I just let it happen, dropping all resistance. My vision got dark but did not black out and I could sense the kids behind me. When my vision returned we were standing on a golden bridge that led into an entire city made of gold!

I went to explore the city and came upon a fountain made of gold. What was amazing about it is how detailed and intricate the design was. Below the surface of the clearest water I have ever seen was a golden, flowery mandala pattern. Fascinated, I went closer and attempted to put my foot into the water. When I did I felt an odd sensation and awoke in my body needing to swallow.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 7

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 9pm

Time to wake: More times than I can count, last time was 5am

Meditation?: No

Physical Exercise?: None

Mood: normal

Body: None

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 4+

Technique?: WBTB

Sleeping position: Back

Supplements: Multivitamin, Natural Calm 400mg, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Biotin 1000mg, Evening Primrose Oil 1300mg, Vitamin E 400mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 350mg

Essential Oils: Whisper Blend

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House Swap

Another extended dream from two nights ago. I awoke several times between scenes but it continued.

House Swap

I was standing with my husband next to a newly purchased five gallon container of paint. A man walks by and stops. He asks if he can exchange something for our paint. My husband heartily agrees. He hands over the paint and the man gives us a huge pile of things from a wagon.

The next thing I know we are swapping entire households. I go inside the house of the man to look for things I want and pick out two boxes of wood floor cleaner. I completely ignore the tackle box of fishing supplies and other outdoor gear piled next to it. I go outside and our car is packed full of things and our family is ready to leave.

We get to our new home and it is in a different state, I believe the state of Virginia. We look around and find the house acceptable and nice. I remember my husband leaves and I am left home alone quite a bit and have time to think. I remember thinking, “I don’t even remember our old house now”. I also remember that I was alone with our baby.

My husband comes in and says he is starting a moving company. He shows me a packet of papers with my private information on them. I think it is my credit report. He says he is starting the company using my name and credit. I am shocked but do not tell him no.

I go into the back room and see that it is empty but nicely decorated. There is a shower in the middle of the room, which is odd, and large windows take up the entire back wall. There is a glass door that leads outside but I look at the window on the other side and see that it has a wooden shade drawn over it. I can see people outside and green from the trees and grass. I think about ways to rearrange the room so the shower is not in the middle.

I turn my focus to the outside and end up standing outside with my three children. It is a beautiful back yard! There is a large swimming pool in the middle and rock landscaping and waterfalls. There are neighbors wandering around with their children as if it is there place. I run around telling them to leave and decide that I want to put up a fence.

We continue to enjoy the pool and my husband joins us. My children are running about and I am exploring. I can see the green hills in the background and a teak wood fence in the back. There are also four small hot tubs at each of the four corners of the yard. I remember thinking the central pool represented the “heart” and the hot tubs represent each of the four elements. The large pool is in the center and there is a patch of grass near it where my family is sitting enjoying the day.

My youngest son wanders too close to the edge of the pool and falls in. I immediately jump in, clothes and all, and retrieve him. He is safe.

I then walk to the back of the yard taking pictures to share with family because this new place is amazing to me. I click a few photos of the back yard and fence. In one photo I see a black smoky looking form. Its face is evil looking with large, empty eyes and mouth wide open as if to bite someone. I am not afraid of it and just say aloud to myself, “Wow, I wonder where that came from”.

moor2I am then looking out the back windows at the hills and the sunrise as my oldest daughter prepares to go to school. We watch as the bus travels a mountain road toward us and I feel peaceful and happy. It is a place I want to stay and although I do not have a job I am fine with that. I decide I want to explore the town at some point and decide to do so the next day.

When I wake up I am confused by the dream because it felt so real and I have trouble determining if it was real or not. I wonder what it means and suspect I am being asked to move forward with something. Healing perhaps?

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Extended Dreams

I have not yet shared the occurrences of what I will call “extended dreams” yet because it was not yet known to me. However, I am certain now of the existence of such a dream and the purpose of it.

Extended Dream

This is night two of a dream that goes on all night despite my waking and staying awake and even trying to not dream the same dream. The vividness and detail of the dream sequence cannot be ignored, nor can the very obvious messages and purpose. I am calling this phenomenon an extended dream. It may have another name but I don’t have time to research it. Please let me know if there is such a term so I can use it from now on. 🙂

This is night two of an extended dream sequence. I spent most of the day yesterday contemplating whether to write out another dream sequence since it followed me most of the day, always at the back of my mind. Last night’s is similar so I guess I need to inspect these phenomenon more closely.

Rather than write it all out in detail (which would take way too long), I will summarize it.

The dream sequence repeats on a theme which is that I am either being propositioned for sex or sexual advances are subtly being made toward me. In all instances I am not afraid but very cautious and avoidant. Sometimes the person is a stranger and other times someone I know. This is not the first time this theme has presented itself.

Almost Rape

I was asleep in a bed in an unfamiliar room. I was “at work” but resting.

A man climbed into bed with me. I was not asleep but pretended to be and became very cautious. Why was a man in my bed?

He moved in very close to me, spooning with me. I remained quiet and I heard him express to himself in a whisper, “I wish she would wake up”.

I finally moved and confronted him. He moved in to kiss me and I resisted, turning toward the bedside phone and grabbing it. I picked it up and it was already connected. I heard static and voices on the line. I told the man, “I am calling for help. They will come get you”. He got out of bed and began to leave and I heard voices in the hall. A man and a woman in camouflage approached and said they had heard my call. The promptly took the man away. I felt relieved.

I woke up at this point for a while, asking to astral and was denied.

The dream resumed when I fell asleep. I left the room to visit a friend. She was tall with short blonde hair. I felt uneasy for some reason as I sat and spoke with her and her husband. I suddenly had the idea that I should tell them about the rape. While telling them about it I recalled to myself, “It was a dream, though” but I kept talking as if it were real.

I got plenty of sympathy and the woman went into the other room. The husband, who had reddish orange hair and was familiar to me, came over to me and placed his hand on my left shoulder. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable and knew he was coming onto me. I pretended like nothing was going on and he spoke to me about how sorry he was, that no one should be treated that way. He continued to move in close and I could feel his breath on my neck.

His wife came in and he withdrew. I thought to myself, “He is going to keep doing this and I won’t be able to resist”. Part of me wanted to embrace him.

I went outside to get into my car and climbed inside. The seat was in the middle and far up, as if elevated. I could see the control panel and it was like a space ship. The red-haired man was behind me. I got in and told him I had to adjust the seat. I sat in it and pushed a lever but noticed that we were already moving. I told him, “I haven’t even put the keys in!” He told me to steer the car, so I did as I put in the keys and it started up.

The man said he had the address of the attempted rapist. He showed me a paper with it written on it. All I remember now is that is was at the number 101. He gave me directions and I drove the car along a city street that quickly turned into a highway overpass. The speed limit dropped to 25mph and I was nervous as I drove high above the other roads.

I woke at this time and stayed awake again asking to astral. I again heard, “No”.

When I fell back to sleep the dream resumed. I was in front of what appeared to be a casino. I saw this stepped machine and tried to drive my car up it. I instead rammed into it and immediately apologized to the woman behind the counter. I saw I had damaged my car but not the machine. She asked an assistant to look at the machine which promptly fell apart. She told me i had to wait 40 minutes so I told the red-haired man and he went off to look for the rapist.

energyhealingAs I waited I spoke with the Asian lady asking her how she would prove I broke her machine and telling her it was not really broken. I recognized the cameras and gave up and she told me of her dream to become a car salesman. I thought it stupid as I listened to her. I resolved myself to have to pay for my crime.

It was then that I seemed to be both myself and a dark haired man. The Asian woman, who I can see clear as day, watched as I inspected the other casino machines. There was a large, fist sized gold coin and she said, “You found a quarter”. She then told me to do something, so I humored her and did it. She smiled and said, “You won!” and it was thousands of dollars. She took a portion to pay for the damage I had made and handed me a pile of odd looking over-sized green bills. I knew it was $70,000+ dollars and I heard the thoughts of the man (who was also me but not me) and said to him, “You are going to let her keep it, aren’t you?” when I recognized the intent to let her have what she wanted: her own car sales business. I felt happy for her and happy to help her have her dream but at the same time I was completely confused. Only a stupid person would give up that amount of money! Yet the man who was also me did it without reservation and with complete joy.

I awoke still feeling the conflict and wondering about the dream.

I again asked to astral and was told, “No”. I asked why and heard, “Your heart” and along with that came a message that I was healing past hurt, hurt that was done to me and that I had done to others. This healing trumped any OOB exploration. I immediately knew that I was still holding much pain from the many lives where I had been sexually abused or assaulted. I am thankful I do not feel the pain in the present. The pain I have inflicted upon others is also a burden I bear and it causes me to distrust myself. Every dream of sexual advancement is me trying to open up to myself and then rejecting myself. Sigh.