Tag Archives: shift

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More Physical Manifestations of the Shift

With all the changes in energy and their effects upon me, I figure I should post the current manifestations I am having. If you are experiencing similar, please let me know. There is an intense building of energy right now that is creating these intense reactions and I believe this will culminate in the next Starseed activation period. According to my Council, the next Activation will occur with the full moon in the month of October. This does not align with what others are saying about the September full moon but I believe my Council over the predictions I have seen all over the net.

Physical Manifestations of the Shift

  • Anxiety
  • Dizziness
  • Increased heart rate
  • tingling sensations
  • heart chakra energy sensations/pulling
  • third eye energy sensations/pulling
  • root and second chakra energy sensations/pulling
  • spontaneous K rising up to lower heart chakra
  • energy helmet when doing yoga or meditating
  • vision changes – feels like I’ve entered a “dream”
  • sudden calm and/or feelings of joy
  • increase thirst
  • increase and then decrease in hunger
  • sleep disturbances – can’t fall asleep, toss and turn, strange dreams
  • feeling of being “done” with life
  • random thoughts that do not fit and are negative or fearful
  • difficulty controlling random thoughts
  • daydreaming – gazing at clouds or sky or staring into space
  • feeling of being shifted to this time/space from somewhere else
  • moments of intense clarity/knowingness
  • sensitive to loud noises

For me, the current changes are beginning to increase in intensity, especially the random thoughts that pop into my head. These thoughts are along the lines of fears and worries that are seeping out through my subconscious into my consciousness. For example, as I tried to sleep last night, my thoughts immediately went to my middle son and I had horrid images of him being molested and tortured by a man. I tried to push the images out of my mind and heard my Companion ask me if I could accept the possibility of that occurring (this was not that it would but that I need to accept that things like that happen all the time on Earth and it could happen to me). I completely rejected it and said, “I would shoot whoever it was in the head if they tried to hurt my child!” I fought back other images of similar torturous things that are done to innocents as well as a huge lump of grief and despair. I realized in this, though, that I did not have images of my daughter come into my mind, or any female children. With this came the understanding that such things have happened along my time track to my sons and others’ sons over and over and will need to be cleared in order to make this life more productive and end a long cycle.

There are other less intense random thoughts coming in, but I cannot remember them now. I believe the key here is to look at them objectively in order to recognize the lesson they come to teach. These are issues that are rising up to be released and the only way to release them is to take a look at them and allow them to teach you what it is they have to teach.

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Sensing Something…..Different

I just awoke and I feel discombobulated. It is almost as if every part of me has been pulled apart and then pieced back together and I awoke before the pieces had all been placed.

My sleep was fitful. First, I could not fall asleep and tossed and turned until just after midnight. Then, I kept waking up throughout the night from a feeling that I had a lot to do. The memories of the dreams are gone. All I recall now is that I was in the midst of scheduling and planning. Honestly, it feels like I was working all night long.

Usually after a night like last night I would awake upset, protesting coming back to this reality. This is not the case this morning. I feel fuzzy, as if I am drifting around above my body and a part of me is not fully connected. I’m not happy nor sad, just somewhere in between.

The only hint of memory I have of last night’s activities is a sense that soon I will be overwhelmed by life and all the things I have to get done. I feel like I need to scrutinize my daily and weekly schedule and toss out that which is not necessary. It is similar to a purging except this feels like a precursor to that. Maybe I was being warned?

Even stranger is that I recall odd and quite random thoughts popping into my head when I would wake briefly in the night. Some of these thoughts were about my daughter’s Ipod. I had loaned her my Shuffle and she lost it in the car. I thought of it and where it might be and there was anxiety related to it for some reason. Another thought was also about my daughter and her teeth. She lost a tooth early this year and the adult tooth is trying to come in but there is not enough space. The feeling with this was almost panic and trying to schedule her for an appointment. I actually heard my Companion intercede and remind me that it was not a big deal.

Now my thoughts are centering around whether to stay or leave my job. I decided I would stay until December and this felt fine to me. Yet, now that I am awake, I have the feeling that I should clear out my schedule and that my job may be the thing to clear out.

Above all else there is a sense that this disorganization and discombobulation is caused by the rewiring I was told is occurring. However, there is also a sense that what I am experiencing now is directly related to an energy or a source outside of Earth and directed at Earth from very, very far away. This energy, wave, or whatever it is, has been on a collision course with Earth for centuries and is just now within range that those of us sensitive to its wavelength are noticing. What this means for me, us, I am not quite sure. However, if what I am experiencing is any indicator, be ready to be knocked off your feet completely. If I am feeling this disconnected now, I can only image what this will do to me when this energy is at its full effect. I suspect I may go OOB spontaneously. Maybe that is why I need to clear my schedule? Hmmm.

Note: There have been very high levels of geomagnetic activity around Earth. Visit link.

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Download via the Heart

Once again I sense an energy shift. It is subtle. I would not have noticed had I not focused on my heart center.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude and my universe feels so large and expansive. There were messages streaming in and I felt so connected to the past, present and future all at once. It was – IS – all at once.

A friend had posted on FB a Bashar video. I am not sure why, but I listened to it. The minute Bashar began to speak, my third eye lit up and I had memories hit me all at once and suddenly yet at the same time it was as if they had always been and I had never forgotten. Here is the video in case you are curious (thanks Karin!).

The memories included recent events that I had never consciously acknowledged. Some came from dream conversations lost after a night of deep, wonderfully healing sleep. Others came from a deep, inner knowingness that I have always had but my conscious mind does not wish to confront for fear that they might be true.

I believe the Bashar video was there to confirm that my memories and my understanding of other me’s (inter-dimensionally) whom I have met and interacted with are in fact what I have considered them to be but would not allow myself to accept.

The me who came into my consciousness in May, the one who revealed my Starseed origins and introduce a level of bliss that I did not think existed, is in stasis somewhere and learning via incarnations, preparing via this incarnation and communication and connecting with the Earth me, now in this time. The explanation Bashar gave of how he communicated through the channel Darryl was so similar that I could not dismiss it.

Also, his description of himself – gray, bald, short – brought instantly a memory of an OBE in which I stared in the mirror and saw looking back at me an image of a similar being.

While all this information was registering and clicking into place, I felt the familiar downloading sensation that indicates a channel is opening. Yet the sensation was not in my head but…in my heart. And the more I let it flow, the more it surged up into my throat creating a feeling of a need to swallow and an emotional surge upward that caused me to want to cry with joy.

And although I have been sad these last few days, weeks even, for the loss of connection with this Higher aspect of me and the amazing bliss that it brings, I realize now that I have entered completely into a new stage of expansion. The resistance I had been feeling originating, of course, in the Ego, and preventing me from feeling the new experience and integrating it wholly.

The “I am done” knowingness scared me and made it seem that there was no more adventure to be had. But I see now that the adventure is here and that the connection is here in the living. It is not living like I was before. This is a new kind of living.

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Spiritual Training

As this day unfolds more and more of the conversation I had with my Companion last night comes back to me.

Spiritual Training

I am currently in a period of spiritual training, one in which I am re-developing spiritual abilities long lost or gone very rusty. The analogy was presented to me of that of weight training, probably because that is what I am doing for my physical body at this time. It was asked for me to consider how weight training works. I responded that you increase the weight for different muscle groups in order to strengthen the muscle. It takes months of repetitive motion, of lifting increasingly more and more weight, for the muscle to respond and grow in size. One also has to eat more and supplement with protein to make sure the muscle has the right nutrients needed to respond to training.

Similarly, we must train spiritual abilities that have long gone dormant for lack of use. We must be routine in this training and not slack off for to slack off and grow lazy in such training will quickly lead to the deterioration of ability. Like muscle, our ability must be strengthened over time and nourished from within.

Empathy: Friend or Foe?

I had a dream last night that related to this analogy.

I entered a room that I vaguely recognized. Laying on a table were two bugs of marijuana, as if to remind me of drug use and its effect on one’s spiritual ability.

Then a young girl dressed in orange and bound in handcuffs came out a side door. She was frazzled and nearly ran into me. I was carrying my littlest in my arms, but he was much younger, perhaps 4 months old. Her face touched him and she smiled. I instantly felt sympathy for her and began talking calmly with her.

“You like babies, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she replied.

I let her touch his chubby arm and briefly she seemed happy.

She began to look nervous and was looking around as if to find a way to escape. I looked at her closely. She had freckles and long, thin dark blonde hair. She was about 4 inches shorter than me.

She looked me in the face and said, “You know me, don’t you? Why don’t you give readings anymore?”

Not surprised, I answered, “I can still, but I don’t. You don’t need a reading. You already know”.

She didn’t seem convinced.

Then two men came out and began to transport her away. She resisted, trying to stay with me. I leaned forward and told her, “You’re an empath. You can tell what I am thinking, feeling. You feel the answers”.

They began to take her away and I called out to her, “Being an empath can help you! But be careful, it can also hurt you”.

Considerations

Only just now did I put the dream and the analogy together. They seem important, as if the spiritual training is needed in this area or else there will be consequences.

Empathy is telepathy here in the physical. Honestly, I think as we develop the gift further we will be fully telepathic. Unfortunately, at this time the gift is untrained and poorly utilized. The Ego misinterprets the signals and disbelief is rampant.

I was born empathic and I suffered greatly from it in my youth. I did not know my feelings from the feelings of my parents and during their divorce my life became a living hell. That was when I first started wanting to go Home. I use to say over and over, “I wish I was dead”.

I continued to feel others thoughts throughout school. I isolated myself to protect myself. This technique worked but I became bitter and angry. People’s words did not match the feelings they sent out. Everyone was lying!

As an adult I have grown use to this hypocrisy. I have learned, by chance, how to differentiate my feelings and thoughts from those around me. I am not perfect at it and there is much to be learned. Apparently I am being reminded that this spiritual “muscle” needs building.

The intense energy of the Shift is wreaking havoc all around. I had thought I was impervious to it, but I am thinking now that I am not. Not at all. The negative energy, the thoughts and emotions, they are bombarding me more than ever. A closed heart does nothing to stop the bombardment. It infiltrates even the most impenetrable defenses.

I believe this message was given to me so I would not be so hard on myself. There is a reason, an explanation, for all the crazy changes lately.

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Lucid Dream: My House

After a rollercoaster of a day caused my blood sugar fluctuations, I went to bed on a low asking for assistance from my Team.

Lucid Dream: My House

I began to gain lucidity while walking into a room in a house that I knew was mine. The room was mostly empty except for some bags on the floor near a closet that were partially unpacked. I saw some clothing on the floor and walked past it toward a dark haired man who was sitting on the floor in the closet.

I knew this man but was not 100% familiar with who he was. I sat down next to him, cross-legged, about two feet away. He was also sitting cross-legged as if meditating. Perhaps that is what we were doing?

During this time I had thoughts and knowingness about this man. I knew we didn’t talk much; our conversations were without words through a deep connection. Yet I felt distant from him and hesitant to interact with him, even without words. There was a memory of us being separated and using our deep connection to stay in touch.

I remember looking upon him fondly with recognition. My conscious mind tried to match his face to my memories. He appeared similar to an ex-boyfriend of mine and the feeling that came off of him was calm and reassuring, similar to how that ex use to make me feel when he hugged me.

Then I was watching this dark haired man from a distance as he interacted with a friend. I was at first jealous and suspected him of cheating on me, but then I saw that the woman he was interacting happily with was quite pregnant. She seemed near the end of her pregnancy, her huge stomach draped in a vibrant, dark blue maternity blouse.

Relieved, I continued to watch from a distance, gliding through empty rooms and cream-colored walls. There was a feeling that I had been away for a long time. The feeling was similar to when a loved one moves overseas to a distant land and has been gone for twenty or more years.

I entered a room, finally exposing myself, and stopped a woman and said, “Why are you in my house?” I don’t think it was the same pregnant woman but am not sure because as soon as I spoke to her she vanished.

Then I spotted the man in the closet, this time standing. When I saw him I immediately went to him and he outstretched his arms. I saw his face shift at this time, the jawline becoming more square and prominent. Did he look like Robin Williams?

He said to me very audibly, “You have’t been yourself lately”.

In that instant I felt ashamed. I said, “I know. I’m sorry”.

A flood of images came into my mind but most are lost to me now. All I can recall now is that I remember being hermit-like, shunning social situations with others and rejecting the emotional connection with family.

I fell into his arms and felt an amazing relief rush over me. The feeling was that I finally came Home and could relax because now I was safe and would always be cared for. I wanted to stay in his arms forever.

Conversation

The hug caused me to fully awaken and I immediately grieved for the loss of the feeling I had just had.

“I want to go back”, I told him.

I knew that the man was me, my Higher Self. I also knew the other characters were me as well, even the pregnant woman.

The image of Robin Williams came on strongly this time. It was his face I saw in the dream. Does this represent my current state? I thought again about the message I received the night before: Rewire-Retrial.

It was obvious that I had entered once again a state of emergency and so my Companion had initiated contact. This time I was resistant and angry, all the feelings rising to the surface.

We talked for about an hour as my Companion reassured me that this was not a real emergency, just a downward spiral that needed correcting, which was easily done. I did not feel this way, of course. I explained that I was tired of failing to stay centered; the rollercoaster was getting tiresome and every contact with him caused the homesickness to worsen and abandonment issues to arise. I didn’t understand why I would torture myself like this.

He repeated over and over that he had never left and asked if he could help me. I rejected his offer initially but toward the end of our discussion I finally gave in and accepted it.

He told me that I needed to let him take the reigns once again. I felt like a failure for ever taking them back. He reminded me of advice I had given to a student just the day before: “If at first your don’t succeed, try, try again”.

I asked him if the process would be like it was in May and he said, “Not this time”. I understood this to mean it would be more work on my part; it would not just be something that happened as easily as it did before.

When I awoke in the morning I felt him near and he asked me if I was ready and I responded that I was not sure. I am still not sure I can do it. It seems like too much work.

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Light-Headed Low Blood Sugar Blues

Yesterday was yet another not-so-good day.

Light-Headed Low Blood Sugar Blues

I am two weeks into my new workout regime which consists of strength training and cardio 4 times a week. My goal is to gain muscle and lose fat. I have a personal trainer every other week, so this week I am on my own.

This workout started with 20 minutes on the elliptical trainer. About 15 minutes in I began to zone out and feel faint. Right as I ended the workout I had to get off and walk around to shake off the jitters.

I heard my guide say, “You are not grounded” and this made sense. So I did an ab circuit and after I felt good enough to do the rest of my workout. However, by the time I got into the car to drive home I was shaky again and had to eat a protein bar. Thankfully it worked by the time I got to the grocery store.

These episodes are low blood sugar episodes and I am very familiar with them. Unfortunately, they trigger mild panic attacks and I hate those. My heart felt weird, like it does when the chakra is activated, and this is hard to ignore. I was talking myself down from panic most of the drive to the store.

The rest of the day I ate like a never-ending pit. Yet the low blood-sugar blues hit me hard in the evening. All this means is that I get irritable and cranky, tired and quick to anger. I ate and ate, hoping to fix the issue but it seemed not to be enough. I was absolutely awful last night because of it.

I lost my temper so many times last night I have lost count. Everything set me off. Then things kept going wrong.

My youngest was in a strange mood, crying and going into a rage when I would not pick him up. He got so mad at me that he started ramming his whole little body into a door to show me how mad he was! He cried endlessly for over an hour even when I held him.

My son’s endless tantrum throwing caused me to be late to the bus stop to pick up my daughter and I got a call to come pick her up at the school. My MIL went to get her but was late and that made us late for my daughter’s eye appointment. Then the eye appointment dragged on and on well into dinner time. Turns out she needed reading glasses (WTF?) so we went to get some for her at Wal-Mart and so did not eat until well after 6pm.

This delay of dinner time was the last straw. I guess my body just is not adapting as well to the changes imposed upon it. I will have to plan better in the future!

BTW, it’s Normal

It is normal for one’s metabolism to increase significantly when they start a weight lifting routine like I did. In two weeks I have lost 4 pounds despite increasing my caloric intake from 1600/day to 2100/day. I am now going to have to increase my calories to 2300/day. This is very hard for me to do and I actually gag on food because I get so tired of eating it. Hopefully my metabolism levels out soon!

Yet I suspect that all this physical change mixed with the spiritual changes I have been experiencing is the cause for the significant reaction I had yesterday to an otherwise “normal” workout. I was told a while back to lay off the intense weight lifting and I did at that time and felt recently it was okay to resume. I still feel it is, however, I think more needs to be done to make the transition less bumpy.

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Rewired

The 180 degree shift in perspective I experienced on the 1st was brief. It barely lasted 24 hours. The day after was difficult with me falling back into pessimism and doubt. It didn’t help that I stupidly drank some wine so I ended up with only 5 hours total sleep.

Events from Yesterday

It actually started the night before last when my husband got mad at me because I wanted to be alone and he didn’t. He saw this as me “rejecting” him and went into a “tantrum” of sorts. The last thing he said to me was that he thought maybe we should consider “other” options for our marriage. These kinds of phrases are becoming more and more his weapon against me and I should have known it was nothing other than hot air, but it bothered me nonetheless. This, along with the one glass of wine I drank kept me up until 1am.

The next morning I awoke grumpy and went to work without incident. The day went fine but I could not shake the unease caused by my husband’s words the night before. I spent the day thinking about my life and what I wanted to keep and what I didn’t want to keep. Sadly, I was ready to throw it all to the wind and this bothered me immensely. Where was my heart in all this? Non-existent it seemed. Note: Apparently Venus retrograde invites reflection upon relationships to determine if they should stay or go but to hold off on the decision until after it goes direct. Venus goes direct on the 8th but I do not plan to make any changes.

When I got home it was like chaos had hit with a vengeance. My mother-in-law watches my two youngest during the day. She had been instructed to not let them upstairs unattended, but apparently she forgot and I discovered a pair of my eyeglasses had been twisted backward. Thankfully they were the old pair but my new, $400 pair was missing. I went searching and found them safe and sound but covered in little fingerprints.

What was really crazy is that my MIL had done damage all on her own. She had gotten a spoon stuck in the garbage disposal and somehow flushed one of my baby’s shirts down the toilet!

My remedy to this awful mess at home was to lock myself in my bedroom and do 35 minutes of heart-centered yoga. Ahhh!

Rewired

I went to bed wanting the day to disappear and asking questions of my Companion about the purpose of all this and how to fix it all. He responded, but I don’t recall now what he said (this seems to be the pattern these days). I meditated myself to sleep and had more strange dreams.

In one dream I was depositing a $5,200 something check. In another I went to an airport and found a black and white cat in a bag on the elevator. Then I was discussing going on a trip to the Caribbean but I could not take my “boss” with me. At this point I suffered extreme sadness and loneliness as I was told that this trip was a solo trip.

When I awoke I felt somber and asked why I had been told, “We will bring you Home” only to have not have this happen. I was told that Home was within me and that I had misunderstood the message. This, of course, only made me more depressed. It was explained to me that I was being “rewired” but at the same time I heard “retrial”. I felt them to be one in the same.

Strange Memories Resurfacing and Evaporating

Finally, I have strange past-life memories resurfacing at odd times. Mostly, I do not remember them after I have them resurface. It is like they are rising up out of me like smoke, disappearing as they escape. Sometime I can regain the memory, but this is unusual.

One such memory of remembering returned to me while driving. I suddenly remembered waking up one night and remembering suddenly that I had once murdered my own child by drowning him. The memory was not as vivid as the extreme guilt that came with it and I thought to myself, “I should be punished”. With this thought came my Companion’s words, “Haven’t you been punished enough?” and I recalled the life before this one where my own father had drowned me when I was only a child. With this memory came the realization that I have been holding onto the belief that I deserve to be miserable for what I did and that I have been punishing myself ever since. With this belief came also the belief that I was not a good parent. I saw the Karmic cycle and at first thought the child I had drowned had drown me in a later life. I knew this was not the case as it was the actual emotional loss that was cycling, not the relationship. Karma is not revenge, it is a self-inflicted purging.

This all occurred in mere seconds. The words of my guide seemed to help evaporate the feelings that arose within me and I fell asleep quite quickly upon their erasure, the memory of it gone as quickly as it arrives. Yet, it returned to me the next day only to again be lost. I only remembered it yet again when I began to fall asleep that night.

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Thank Heavens for September!

I don’t know about you, but the last few days have been heavy ones for me. The energy seemed stifled and often I felt trapped in a corner without knowing why. Strangely, I was able to remain pretty calm despite this. I could observe the storm brewing deep inside me and I let it brew but kept it from escaping – for the most part.

Then last night, at about 8pm CST, the storm was gone. The energy of it vanished and I felt myself rise up to a higher vibration almost instantly. It was a night and day experience. For the first time in a while my spirits were lifted and my pessimism replaced with a strange optimism. Since I was tired and preparing for bed, I didn’t try to analyze what happened, I just meditated myself to sleep.

I awoke 2 hours later quite suddenly. I saw that the clock said 10:40pm. “That can’t be right”, I thought. So I checked the clock in the hall. Hmm. It really was 10:40pm.

Exchange

Then next time I awoke it was from a dream in which I was discussing an affair I had with Tom Cruise (really not my type). I awoke in the midst of a strong energy rising through my lower three chakras. It had a strong sexual pull with it but was also quite distinctly something else. The energy, unfortunately, hit my second and third chakras in a painful twisted way, but was not so painful as to make me want the energy to stop rising upward.

I let the energy linger for some time but sent a questioning thought to my Companion. The reply was simply, “Exchange” and I knew that the old energy in these chakras was being exchanged for new energy. In my mind a longer explanation came to me suddenly. This exchange had already occurred in the upper chakras and “pain” from this exchange was simply the new energy breaking through old blockages.

Still very optimistic, I let my Companion know that I would be happy to have more similar experiences. The energy was pleasant and persuasive. I could feel the hope and optimism created by the 2nd chakra and willed it to expand. I have missed it!

Peaceful Optimism

After the exchange experience, I fell into a deep sleep and vivid dreams. Every time I would wake up, I felt to have been asleep for many more hours than I had. There was also a strange, heavy energy settled over my head similar to the energy helmet I am use to. My third eye chakra was also active.

The peaceful, optimistic feeling is still with me. Life no longer seems grueling and difficult like it has felt most of August. Relief came with September and I am truly grateful I persevered to this point.

Note: I began taking Maca root yesterday afternoon. Since this is my first experience taking it, I am not sure if it is the cause of this change in mood or if it is indeed an energy shift. It is likely both, but if it is the Maca then it is my new best friend. 🙂

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Something’s Up

Perhaps it is the solar flare activity again or maybe there is another influx of ascension energy (or maybe the two are one in the same?), but I can sense a shift about to take place.

It is hard to put my finger on the exact feeling, so it is hard to describe how it feels. What I will say about the feeling is that it is similar to being put on alert when there is an approaching storm; like a tornado warning. It is not all doom and gloom but more like there is a possibility that something will affect me and my immediate surroundings.

I am, of course, taking it all in stride. There is no immediate threat to me, if threat is even the right word. Like in a tornado warning, I am not concerned. We get them (tornado warnings) all the time in Texas and very rarely does it result in anything other than a thunderstorm. Similarly, I have been through many, many energetic shifts on this path of ascension and so I am use to nothing much happening.

Last night was when the shift in energy became most noticeable. I was watching T.V. and my attention was drawn away from the screen to my Higher Self and that was when the alert feeling occurred. Later, I did 55 minutes of Hatha Yoga and felt my head begin to buzz with energy. This was soon followed by my third eye. The energy then snaked down to my throat area and settled about where my thyroid is located. I became so relaxed during this meditation break that when the woman’s voice returned my entire body twitched because I had forgotten I was doing a video.

When I settled down to sleep I again felt the alert feeling and thought perhaps I would have one of my interesting and somewhat intense nightly excursions OOB. But nothing of the sort happened. Instead, I slept very deeply and had many dreams, one in which I met up with my ex-husband and then watched as streamers of light shot off into the starry sky over an ocean of blue dotted with tropical islands.

When I awoke the song A Rush of Blood to the Head was going through my head as was the song, Come Home. The latter was just the part of the song that says, “So, come home” and the former the part, “And they call as they beckon you on, They said, Start as you mean to go on”.

The feeling is still here today. It is something I just can’t quite put my finger on. So I stay on alert to whatever is coming.

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If This Were a Dream….

My schedule is filling up. I am working part-time, launching a new business and taking care of my kids on my days off. I am also back to the gym four days a week for an hour at a time. Additionally, my oldest has started back to school and all you parents well know that’s as much work for me as it is her. Finally, my husband and I are remodeling our master bath, the final room of the remodeling process.

This increase in “things to do” is generally not welcomed. I don’t like having to wake up early and it is hard for me to keep my thoughts on the present as I am always thinking ahead to what I need to do next. My stress levels typically rise as does my anxiety. In turn, my sleep patterns change and so I often lose the connection to my guides via my dreams that I so thoroughly enjoy. Yet, I am finding that I am responding differently to all the change.

Despite all the things I have to do and places I need to be, I am quite calm in comparison to how I have been in the past. It has come to my attention in the last couple of days that the reason for this is that I am receiving inner guidance throughout the day. This, actually, is not out of the norm, we all receive such guidance. Rarely do we notice it as it comes via quiet suggestive thoughts and mental image pictures that are easily ignored. Typically I would also not notice it and mostly ignore the messages I receive; however, for some reason I am listening and heeding these messages. Mostly I have been doing this habitually without really noticing but just yesterday I suddenly became aware of it.

If This Were a Dream….

Yesterday, as I was winding down in one of my brief periods of time to myself, I recognized all at once that my vision was peculiar. After noticing my vision change I then thought how similar it was to be OOB. In fact, I got a very strange OOB feeling right then and there that had me thinking I was dreaming. In this brief time of noticing the messages seemed to flow in all at once; the floodgates opened as they have been doing for some time now.

In this particular period of time the message was a simple question: “If this were a dream, what wold you do?”

But of course, it IS a dream, but that was not the point. The point was to get me to remember that this life is a dream and to think of myself as the orchestrator of the dream.

At the time my thoughts had been on all the things I had to do in the future. I had been slowly redirecting myself back to present time but it was becoming a tiring and repetitive process since my thoughts were all over the place. I had to make a decision about my new business, one that I had been holding off on because of the amount of money involved and the potential for failure. With the question posed by my guide, this decision became very unimportant.

In a dream I would not worry about what was coming next. Instead, I would eagerly anticipate the new. There was not consideration about the past or the future, there was just the experience. I was reminded right then and there that it was the present experience that was the most important. What was I creating in that moment? If it was not what I wanted, then I needed to stop creating and create what I want.

And that is when my thoughts shifted to what I wanted and how this new business would get it for me. Instead of worrying, “What if?”, I focused on all I will have. The picture was clear in my mind and my mood elevated substantially. Then I was done and back in the moment, all worry about the upcoming decision gone. I knew the next move because I know what I want.

My Focus is Shifting

The biggest change of all is that my focus has shifted. I do not focus so much on when my next OBE will be, or when my next K surge or Team communication will be. My thoughts more and more are centered on my daily life and creation of what I want in it.

A significant shift has occurred at work. Last year I spent quite a bit of time distracted by spiritual topics and research. I had no interest in my job and even resented it. This year when my mind wanders to the spiritual it is like a curtain comes down and blocks those thoughts, immediately directing me to my work. This is good, I know that, but it is especially good because with this shift in focus comes a surge in creativity. For example, I spent most of my free time at work researching lessons and planning out a 14 week social skills group. The best part is, I enjoyed every minute of it.

Clean it Up

A final note and I will end this post. I have been given a vision many times now of seeing a room strewn with toys or other clutter. With it comes a strong urge to clean it up along with an irritation of having to do so. At first I thought this was just me irritated about having to constantly clean up after my children. But this morning, the vision came as an answer to why I have been having so many breaks in the spiritual process I am going through.

The message was clear that I am cleaning up the messes, tidying house, sweeping away the debris. All this is necessary and repetitive, similar to real life. Healing is a continual process of renewal. Entropy is the word for it and it follows everything that exists in the physical, even us.

Do not get caught in complacency for it breeds decline and you won’t notice it until you have sunk well into chaos.