Tag Archives: Spirit guide

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Dream: Will You Be My Patient?

I struggled to fall asleep last night. I had more energy than usual and then I kept waking up. My head was buzzing with energy at the very top. I could sometimes feel it extend to my third eye but then it would withdraw.

Then, I was told suddenly by my guide,”We will talk”.

Dream: Will You Be My Patient?

I was walking inside a very large, mall-like building. The ceiling were vastly high with domed windows. There were office spaces enclosed completely in glass. Inside one of them I saw a desk and a man.

My “sister” came out and lovingly touched my arm. She said to me, “I’m so sorry to hear the news”. I looked at her questioningly. “I heard your bloodwork came back showing signs of cancer”. I didn’t know what she was talking about.

In my mind I had a memory of seeing the doctor in the glass office and him giving me an exam. I went to get the bloodwork after. He had not even talked to me about it yet. How could she then know the results if I didn’t? I thought that she must be confusing me for our mother, but then I couldn’t remember her ever having cancer either.

I continued toward the glass office and went inside. The doctor gave me a slip of paper. It was a hand written prescription containing five scripts. I read over them and recognized them as cancer-fighting medications. Could it be that my sister was right?

I confronted my doctor. “What did my bloodwork say?”

He told me that the bloodwork showed signs of cancer. He specified that I had two tumors that were still small and if treated aggressively the prognosis was good. In my mind I saw the tumors were in my head. I did not know what to think. Was he for real?

I looked down at the script and knew I had a decision to make. Take the medication or don’t take it. Take a chance at life or resign myself to my fate.

Then I saw a woman sitting where I should have been sitting across from the doctor. She had something in her hand. I became her, experiencing her thoughts. She recognized she needed to quit smoking. For a moment the thing in her hand looked like a pack of cigarettes. She reluctantly handed them over and I imagined them stomped upon by the doctor. However, what actually happened is the woman handed over a small USB flash drive. This confused me but I soon recognized it as one I had in waking life. It contained on it a recovery program to find viruses on infected computers.

Then the doctor came up to me, his white coat very obvious.

He asked me, “Will you be my patient?”

What is odd about this part of the dream is that when he asked me the question it echoed in my physical ears as if he were really standing right next to me. The sound resonated between states and then beyond. The me in the dream wanted to answer, “Yes”. The me waking up to the question wanted to answer, “No”.

Feeling I needed to answer, I chose the answer of the me in the dream. “Yes”, I said. But I wanted to answer “No”.

The split between my two aspects was quite obvious. One had hope and wanted help. The other had given up.

Awake now, I was confused and wanted to panic, but didn’t. It was only a dream. I don’t have cancer. I just had a physical and everything checked out fine. It was purely symbolic. Cancer symbolizes a sickness within, like an emotional sickness or an area of one’s life that is causing them emotional upset. The question about being a patient could mean two things. One, that I need to be patient. Two, that I am in an intense period of healing. It likely means both.

My guide said to me that one of these “cancers” is impeding my survival. He asked me to return to sleep and he would help me understand.

I did eventually return to sleep but the dream seems unrelated to the “cancer” dream. I do remember hearing a message that I had 10 more days to go. This would fall in line with the 30 day time period I was given at the beginning of the month.

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Musings and a Dream

An entire day has passed and now that the sun is setting I am feeling a familiar twinge from within; a whisper of things to come. It beckons me forward like the words from the Cold Play song that has been haunting me for several days now:

And they call as they beckon you on
They say start as you need to go on
Start as you need to go on

Slowly my attention is being drawn back to where it was a little over a month ago – back to the present moment and to the stillness that I seem to live in despite the chaos of the world around me. No, I am not always still but my mind is so much more than it ever has been in my life. Normal, daily mind chatter is still almost nonexistent and if I am chattering to myself I seem to be having conversations with an invisible person.

I am being asked to review what I have accomplished; to see the progress I have made and to give myself a pat on the back for a job well done. I am trying but I am always the most critical of myself.

I am told it is all very normal what I am going through as I am moving beyond 3D life and into 4D. The somberness, the empty feeling I have been having, the feeling of not belonging, the boredom – all very normal. I have to live here in this world, though. I have to keep up the facade of agreeing with it for the time being. It will not be forever and if I can find the stillness within and continue to focus on my heart, it will be a smooth ride.

The buzzing around my head is coming back with ever more intensity as well. I feel again the opening up to a “download” approaching. Whether it will be as intense as the last, I don’t know, but I welcome it. I feel whole when I am connected and want more than anything to remain that way always.

Dream: Shift in 4D or Be Lost

With all the OBEs I had this morning, I nearly forgot about the dreams that preceded them. There was one that came back to me suddenly just now. One in which I was discussing the shift to 4D and watching oh so many be left behind, unable to make the shift and suffering in all sorts of ways because of it. I hate to say it was a doom and gloom dream, but in a lot of ways it was. In it we (me and others) reached out to help others and they slipped right through our fingers. I can still feel the despair and ache for the loss.

There remains an urgency from the dream that remains with me even now.

I also recall meeting my guide and seeing him close up. I can’t believe I had forgotten it as it was while OOB somewhere between set 1 and 2 of my adventures this morning. When I saw him he was wearing one of those old west mustaches that curled just a little on the ends. As he is blonde, the mustache was quite in contrast to his complexion and he reminded me a little bit of Ewan McGregor. I remember saying to him, “You have a mustache now? Nice”. In my mind I can see him clearly as he winks at me, a twinkle in his eye and I think now how much fun he must have changing his appearance on me all the time. He is still himself, of course, just wearing a different costume like we all are. In reality you can never hide from those who truly know you.

I wasn’t going to write this post but I feel so peaceful and calm right now and wanted to write a bit about what I left out from this morning. It has been a spectacular day!

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OBEs: Set One

I was awakened at 2:30am by another series of strange dreams. I thought I smelled smoke, so got up to investigate. Then I had difficulty falling asleep because both my sons woke up. I asked to lucid dream or astral just to see if it would happen. I ended up having more OBEs than I could count.

OBE: Christmas Gift

I awoke in the midst of a dream I was having. In the dream I was sitting at a computer desk in the middle of a large room. I had posted a blog post entitled, “Shattered Glass”. It was a short post about a breakthrough I was having involving my guides/Team and my spiritual development. I thought I had posted it but then couldn’t find it and was searching for it when my husband came in and questioned me. When I looked back to the computer monitor it had vanished and this clued me into the fact that I was dreaming.

As soon as I knew I was dreaming my vision blacked out. I went toward the stairs and began to jump/float down them happily. Even though I couldn’t see I knew what was below – a Christmas tree with presents.

At the bottom I reached out and felt the spines of the tree and sat down by it. My vision came on suddenly then and I saw the tree lit up with red lights and perfectly wrapped presents. Each present was red with a green ribbon wrapped around it and the name of the person it was for written in big, bold, red cursive lettering on a tag. I scanned the presents for my name and found it. It said, “To: Dayna From: Steven”. I laughed and picked it up, ready to unwrap it when my vision again blacked out and I returned to my body.

Back in my body my guide told me, “I gave you a gift”. I acknowledged this and said, “What is it?” He did not answer.

I felt very subtle vibrations and recognized I could still exit but what is odd here is that I seemed not to ever exit my body but to instead be transported to different scenes. I would open my astral eyes, many times thinking they were my real eyes, and find the scene changed or a scene playing out in front of me. It was like watching a movie until I chose to walk into the scene.

german shepherdOBE: Neighbor Encounter

In one instance there was no scene playing out but instead I overheard people yelling and recognized my neighbors across the street. They often have violent screaming arguments at odd hours. I figured I would investigate and got up out of my body and floated to my window.

I had to push out the screen to exit but got outside where I saw my neighbors standing in the street in a face off. They had with them several large German Shepherds as well as some juvenile ones. When I pushed out the screen it caused them to look up at me.

I landed in front of them and felt they were suspicious of me. A dog came toward me and one of the women stopped it and he just snarled at me. I said something to them but can’t remember what now. Whatever it was made them disinterested in me and they allowed their dogs to do whatever they liked. One came toward me intent on attacking me.

I flew up into the air and hovered over the snarling dogs which were now barking ferociously. I laughed and said, “You can’t get me but even if you could I wouldn’t die. I can’t die here! And if I could, so what, I would just come back!”

Something caught my attention and I went down the street a bit, the dogs and neighbors vanishing behind me. There in the road stood a tall, blonde man. I walked up next to him so close I was touching his left arm. I looked up at him towering over me and said, “You are real tall”. He said, “I know”. I looked up and said, “No, I mean you are real tall; not normal tall”. He seemed disinterested in my estimation of his height, though. I remember thinking that he must be over 7 feet tall.

The OBE ended here. Upon inspection of my memory of the blonde man, I realize he was similar in appearance to the tall, blonde, angelic-looking being I saw in a previous OBE. He had been wearing a white robe with a red sass in that OBE. In this one I don’t recall him wearing clothes at all.

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Dreams: Yearbooks and Graduation

Once again I am having dreams about graduation. It seems these kinds of dreams come in a sequence: looking for or going to school, going to class, and then graduation. It would be nice to know exactly what my degrees are. I would have a dozen at least by now!

Yearbooks

The first dream of the night was short. I was inside a home that reminded me of my mother’s house, but it wasn’t. My middle son was sitting on the floor next to an old, wooden chest. I asked him, “Have you seen my yearbooks?” He got this guilty look on his face and shrunk back from me. Knowing he had done something wrong, I investigated.

I found scattered across the floor at least five yearbooks. Sadly, my son had ripped the front covers of all of them except one. I gathered them up, asking him, “Why did you do that?” Irritated, I looked over them closely and put them in order. 2010, 2012, 2013…all the way to 2015. 2011 was in the wrong place, so I placed it after 2010 and looked at them stacked up in my arms.

They all had sky blue or medium blue and white covers. Some of the artwork on the cover was familiar and I saw my website name written across one of them. I placed the oldest, 2010, on the bottom of the pile and stacked them up in order with 2015 on the top. 2015 was not ripped and I seemed to cherish it the most.

I awoke a bit confused and my guide immediately said to me, “It’s alright”. I wondered why I would have such a dream and instantly fixated on the yearbooks and their dates. What was significant about 2010? I received a message via my heart center that I was struggling to let go of my past, still clinging to aspects of it that needed to be released in order for me to move forward. What those are, I did no know, but it appears I am working on clearing the last remnants while I sleep.

Graduation

The rest of my dreams were spent preparing for graduation and prom. There were many but I only remember one in detail.

I was inside a school. I was different from the other students, allowed to roam free of the rooms and go wherever I wanted while the other students could not. I remember leaving one classroom and heading for another where a lone student sat. He was young, kind of geeky, with long hair and seemed withdrawn and shy.

It appeared I was the only one graduating and so this was why I got so much freedom. It was the last day of school and everyone was preparing for prom. I was not interested in the classroom where all the students were preparing so kept visiting the young man in the other room.

After several visits with him he began to open up and become more friendly. On my last visit he pulled me close and put his hand on my rear. I remember thinking, “He likes me”. I was flattered but not interested. I said to him, “You are a Junior, right?” He said, “Yes”. I said back to him while I moved away from him, “Then you only have one more year to go” The message I sent with my words was that he was too young and inexperienced for me. Ha!

I went back into the other classroom where a group of immature girls were talking loudly and seemed like one instead of twenty. I told the teacher my observation and she told me to clear out my locker. So I went to it, opened it (somehow I knew the combination) and inside it was nearly empty except for some old cookies and snacks. I knew I had not been using it and had not been a “student” for a long time.

Then I was preparing for prom. I walked into a large space with the other students and we each went and picked up our dresses/tuxes. Mine was silky white with lace and a low-cut bodice. I went into a side room to try it on and a little boy assisted me. I remember looking in the mirror at my unfamiliar body wearing a bra and underwear.

The shy young man was spying on me during the dream and his nose was peculiar. He had this black, metal tube over it that was about four inches long. He took it off and then put it in his mouth like a cigar. His nose was very long and reminded me of Pinocchio.

Interpretation

When I awoke the dreams were still very vivid and my guide was close. I felt so comfortably drowsy and wanted to go back to sleep but couldn’t. My guide was communicating something but as it was via my heart I was too lazy to try and decipher it. The message got through regardless.

The upcoming prom in the dream symbolizes this change; an end and preparation for a new beginning. Pinocchio is representative of a lie being told, either by me to myself or from someone else to me. The cigar represents a relaxed state of mind and masculine energy. It could be that the masculine part of me can be deceptive if I let my guard down. The yearbooks in the previous post are representative of the old; the past. They are ripped and torn by my son, indicating a loss or destruction of the past. The present one is undamaged indicating focus upon the present. I show my interest in focusing on the present when I place it on top of the others.

It was made clear that I am coming to the end of yet another stage in this long progression of change. I am encouraged to not look back, only forward. Failures of the past are just that – in the past. The future is possibility and adventure. I can choose to play the game or not. Lessons are best learned in living life, not hiding from it. Focus on living is paramount now. Now is the future, not the past. Let go and move forward.

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Lucid to OBE: Room of Sunflowers

Last night was another long night of dreams. I once again awoke to tears. The clearing continues and I am so weary of it.

I did ask prior to sleep: If I can’t astral travel, can I at least lucid dream?

Lucid to OBE: Room of Sunflowers

I awoke at 5am feeling down about life in general. I felt the all-over body energy hug from my Companion as I let the disappointment in myself come to the surface. Overall, I felt/feel like a failure in this life. I asked my Companion why he created the personality and tendencies I have in this life. To me, they are too hard to overcome.

Buzzing energy began to increase around the top of my head and around the base of my spine. The energy around my spine wrapped around the front of my body and felt comforting. I fell asleep.

I found myself inside an unfamiliar house. There was a party going on, a celebration of the release of a sequence of movies. I overheard talk about my younger sister and realized that she was a part of this movie project and attending the party. I went in search of her.

I walked up carpeted stairs to a large room where most of the people were mingling. There was a group dancing and that is where I saw my sister. They were dancing oddly, with strange motions of the hands. It was almost like they were casting spells. I remember that as I watched I hoped no one would ask me to dance.

I ended up downstairs looking around. I wanted to snoop around in my sister’s things. I hadn’t seen her in so long. What was she like as a person now?

Standing there, the thought came to me that I was dreaming. I said aloud, “This is a dream”. Instantly the golden hued, brightly lit room turned dark and I couldn’t see. I moved toward the stairs in the dark and began to ascend.

I jumped up, trying to fly but found it difficult. I said aloud, “I can fly” and was able to hover for a moment but there must have been something wrong with my motivation to fly because I felt pulled back down.

At the top of the stairs I saw a window and headed for it. It was the only source of light and I could see the window clearly. I flew at it full speed reminding myself I could go through objects. When I got the window I went through it without incident and ended up floating outside in a courtyard. All I could see were the branches of a large tree. Beyond that, though, was a bright, golden light. I peered through the leafless branches and saw row upon row of giant sunflowers in a room not far away. I flew toward it.

The sunflowers were inside a room on the first floor. I had to go through another window to get to them.

I attempted a fly-through but was stopped this time and had to manually open the window and pull off the screen. When I went through, my foot caught on the screen. I could see the sunflowers and the large room. I recognized the room. I had been there in a previous dream.

Pulling against the screen, I struggled to get inside with no success. The effort of it caused me to lose motivation. I felt like a failure and gave up. The once bright room dimmed and turned black and I felt the familiar energy as I settled back into my body. I opened my eyes immediately and this caused my heart to feel like it was going to jump out of my chest. I checked my heart rate and it was steady, nothing like how it felt in my chest. I rolled over, disappointed in the entire experience.

Sunflower symbolism – a source of spiritual guidance pointing you in the right direction. Times may be difficult but you will persevere. They also symbolize warmth, abundance and prosperity.

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Remember

I meditated twice yesterday. Once in the afternoon and once prior to bed last night. While doing so, my Companion was close and communicative, helping me focus in on my heart center.

During the afternoon meditation I had several conversations, but almost all were lost to me upon coming out of my reverie. The only thing I remember hearing is something about the “Christ consciousness” and how I was not accepting or absorbing it. After this meditation concluded, my heart space almost hurt it was pulling so strongly. I also felt energy movement in my second chakra.

The evening meditation was quite different. I recall hearing some very profound things from my Companion but the specific wording is lost to me now. One of the messages was that I needed to communicate my true Self to others. I got with this message a feeling of “lack of fulfillment” and lingering fear. The message was clear that if I did not open myself up to new experiences, take risks and explore the multitudinous opportunities provided by the physical universe, I would not expand beyond my current position.

During this in-between state my Companion began to ask me what I felt when I focused on my heart. I immediately stated, “I am a walk-in” and there was no doubt in my mind. I said it a few more times, feeling it out as if I needed convincing of my own Knowingness. Memories flooded my mind, memories of when the walk-in could have happened. I became confused in trying to locate when this event occurred and asked to be shown what I had obviously forgotten. My Companion told me more was coming and that it would be “intense”.

As I lay in meditation I became distracted by an intense itch inside my left ear. If you have ever had your ear itch then you know how impossible it is to scratch the inside of your ear! This itching came about as soon as I put in my earplugs, so those were out the entire night. Eventually the itch went away.

When I finally settled down to sleep and began to drift off, I heard my Companion say, “Remember”. This brought me to full awareness and I asked him, “Why did you say that?” He said, “Remember who you are”. I was covered in wonderful, calming energy when he said this, and soon after drifted off to sleep.

Energy Swap

I awoke feeling disoriented and worried. I had memory of something that I cannot describe with any precision. This “something” seemed to be in my past but also seemed to have just happened. It is hard to pinpoint when the event occurred as it seemed to be something from the past but also to be happening in the Now.

Upon waking my Companion was close and I was struggling to make sense of the event, going over the memory of it in my mind but unable to fully process it. I will try to describe what I remember happening the best I can, but it is hard.

What stands out to me the most of the energy contained in this experience. I felt to be split into various parts but aware of all of these parts. There also was another presence that was pure consciousness like me, but separate from me. This consciousness and I seemed to change places – each part of me changed places with corresponding parts of this other consciousness. The experience of it was a swirling of energy and a shifting up and down and back and forth. It was almost as if I were being shaken very vigorously. This is unlike the vibrations I have felt as this was pieces of me shifting very quickly, exchanging energy and then shooting back almost like the protons, neutrons and electrons of an atom. In fact, the atom is probably the perfect analogy here.

My disorientation here had me frantically looking for reference points to reestablish my link with reality. I searched my memory and found myself quickly, which was a relief. Yet I was still very worried about what had happened and trying to figure it all out so that it made sense to me.

Remember

I was quickly calmed by my Companion and when I asked him what was happening this is what he told me, “In the inside, there is chaos. We will fix this and we will thrive. Remember who you are”.

When I heard this I felt odd. Again I cannot describe it but I will say that I felt urged to write down his message, which I did immediately. I then wrote down what I knew to be a “trigger” word – “Remember”. Knowing this was a “trigger” did not help me as I wondered, “Trigger to what?” No answer came but memories of all the times I have heard my Companion say this words and phrases containing this word flooded my memory.

“Do you not remember me?”

“Remember who you are”.

“I am the part that Remembers. You are the part that Forgets”.

“Remember”

Overwhelmed, I began to try and focus on something else, anything else. My body was the most obvious place to focus and I instantly recognized a shooting pain in my left ear. Interestingly, I knew the pain in my ear was related. How? I don’t know.

I then began to rationalize the experience as just a part of the ear pain. Perhaps the disorienting feeling was an upsetting of my body’s equilibrium? This could explain the feeling.

“That’s all it is”, I told myself. And with that, I distanced myself from the experience and fell asleep.

This morning I feel normal, though I think I have an ear infection, and the memory of what happened last night seems a dream. Yet I know it was not, is not. There is more, so much more, that I will not write it here as it would make the post too long and it is already way too long.

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Preparing for the Next Stage

I am on day 12 of my purification and am feeling excellent except that I am now struggling to fall asleep at night. I blame the extra energy I have for that.

At this stage I am not noticing too many toxins and chemicals being released. There are occasional muscle twitches in my back and one nostril will stop up randomly, but other than that, nothing. I suspect the muscle twitches result from a release of tension in my back from all the time in the sauna. The stopped up nose could be allergies or maybe the nasal spray I used for so long through each of my three pregnancies.

I now look forward to the running and to the Niacin flush as it turns on full force in the midst of my runs.  I forgot how freeing it can be to run for long periods of time. Yesterday I did not want to stop running and actually extended my running time to 35 minutes. 🙂 I also find myself daring the Niacin to do its worst during my run. I kind of have the “no pain, no gain” idea going on. That is just how I am, though. I love to push my body to its limits. I also strongly believe that one’s mindset makes all the difference. Long ago I decided, “I control my body, my body doesn’t control me”.

Sleep Changes

As I mentioned already, falling asleep has become a challenge with all the extra energy I have. It takes me about 2 hours to fall asleep when before it would take literally minutes. I am also now waking up more frequently in the night like I did prior to starting the purification. I suspect my body has adjusted to the new routine and the increase in vitamins and minerals. I also find it interesting that these sleep patterns go hand-in-hand with the solar flare activity lately, which has been off the charts.

I awoke this morning from a very realistic dream in which I had accidentally killed a man and deciding if I should confess or try and hide it. I went to the police station and told the officer of my crime and he filled in a sheet. He left for a long time and I began to fret and worry if I had done the right thing. I ended up sneaking out the back door and running. The whole time I was escaping I knew that it was pointless as all the evidence pointed to me. I thought of all my options, even suicide, but recognized I had to take responsibility for my actions.

When I woke from this dream it was still very real to me and I had to reorient myself to present time. I literally awoke feeling I needed to prepare myself for a long stent in jail. Ha! I then recalled that while I was hiding from the law I was mowing a lawn and doing yard work. How odd!

Spiritual Changes – Preparing for the Next Stage

Yesterday, while in the sauna, I felt the familiar energy helmet sensation come on for a minute or so and then vanish. It happened again an hour or so later and now is just barely noticeable again.

I spend most of my sauna time reading Science Fiction books, so it is rare that I notice anything going on with my body/mind because I am so engrossed in my reading. I am currently reading, A Darkling Sea by James Cambias (great book!). Reading passes the time and keeps me from fixating on just how hot it is in the sauna (168 degrees).

Yesterday I would be pulled out of my reading by the strange helmet energy or a sudden thought unrelated to my reading. My guide would respond to my thoughts, which he hasn’t been doing for some time. He again communicated with me last night prior to bed saying to me, “You are large” and sending me a mental visual of my energy (aura) expanding way past my normal six to eight feet around my body. I was white and expansive and felt this body to be so very small. He then said, “You will remember again” when a memory of the amazing things I have experienced caused me to long for more. I asked if this meant that my “rest” was over, and he said, “Not just yet. We will ease you into it”. I know I am nearing completion of my purification, so this is likely why I am again receiving communication.

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Dream: Flooded Car

For the first time in a while I remembered a full night of dreams. I will focus only on one since it was an answer to a question.

Flooded Car

In this dream I first remember being told about a huge flood that was stopping traffic at certain intersections. I then saw in front of me a road and without knowing why, I began to drive at high speeds toward a part of the road that was partially submerged. What is interesting here is that I was flying, not driving at this time. I never actually saw my car but knew it to be my silver Prius.

When I hit the part of the road that was flooded, I was stopped by the water. I don’t remember being in the river of water, just that I was now without my car. I saw other cars that had been caught, lined up along the side, but did not see mine.

I then spent a while trying to find out where my car went. I ended up inside a stark warehouse asking different people what happened to my car. I saw in front of me a list of different car types and their corresponding storage areas where they were placed to dry out. I could not find my car as it was by license plate and I did not know mine.

I began to wander through the building and into rooms. In some rooms there were household items and furniture piled up with tags on them. I passed through this room without much interest.

I went through various levels, sometimes up and down, without finding my car. Finally, I was outside the warehouse being shown where my car was. But when I located it, it was my SUV, not my Prius. The Prius had been totalled, its electrical systems destroyed by the water.

Conversation with Guide

I awoke in the midst of conversing with my guide about the above dream. I recognized the dream was in response to a question and request I had made. My request was that I go quicker through whatever transition it is that I am going through. The question was, “Why is it going so slow?”

It is obvious to me that the Prius represents my individual path and the SUV is that of my path with my family. The flooded roads indicate areas of high emotional charge that have yet to be released and perhaps even the Ego’s hold over these areas of my life. The road was not completely submerged, only halfway.

I threw myself down the partially submerged road and got stuck, my car ultimately was totalled. This symbolizes what would happen if I were allowed to go quicker through this transformation. I would stall out, overwhelmed by emotions, literally drowned in them. I won’t say it means I would “die” but it definitely indicates an overwhelm so big that I would be unable to cope with it.

Then I was shown the SUV as an answer to what I need to be doing now – focusing on this path I am currently on with my family. The rooms in which I walked where furniture and household items were stored symbolize areas of my current life that are emotional triggers for me (there was another dream that explored my connection to my children after this one).

I was not very happy with the answer I received because when I am not experiencing changes related to my transformation, I feel bored and restless. I was reminded to focus on my heart and it helped and now I feel fine, but upon waking I was very upset. Slow and steady wins the race I guess. Sigh.

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The Dr. Returns

Last night was an eventful night. No, I didn’t project nor was I even lucid, but I had a sequence of dreams, all connected, that culminated in one nearly lucid dream in which I again met up with the Dr. (from previous blog posts).

Military

The first dream in the sequence was focused around the return of a military mission. I was inside a dorm room and waiting for a man to return. He was not my husband but someone I knew. I recall helping organize some things – photographs, keepsakes, etc – while waiting.

Infected

The dream then shifts from a military feeling to a medical facility feeling. I was of two Me’s – the me observing the dream and the me as a character in the dream. My character persona was wearing an all white hospital gown and there was a long conversation going on between the observer me and another individual, a woman.

The character me is standing in the middle of a bright white room as we are talking. This is when it got weird. A tiny, illuminated, blue square of energy shot out of nowhere and made contact with the dream character me. This blue cube was three-dimensional and about one inch all around.

Once the cube inserted itself inside the character me, the observer me knew this meant a physical change would occur. She (I) recognized the change to mean that having children was no longer possible and there would be a gradual deterioration of health.

Phil

There is a long period of blurred images and experiences during this time. I am aware of making the decision to be with a man much younger than me. My awareness is very, very diminished but I somehow know that we had sexual relations and am filled with a happiness and peace that is hard to describe. I remember laying next to him in a void. I say void because it seems so dark and devoid of features other than a long, wooden or metal “bed” which we are laying on.

When my awareness comes back to me, me and this man who I know as “Phil”, are discussing a third member of our group. She is the me from the previous dream, the one who was “infected”. I know she cannot be with us because she is struggling to manage her illness. I see within my mind a screen showing her vital statistics. The statistics are shown as a green line that is in an arc heading higher and higher. However, when she becomes infected the arc, a greenish color, begins to descend and turn red. I see this “memory” of the doctors explaining what she needs to do. She must take this medicine to manage her condition as it will slowly affect her, causing her physical condition to deteriorate more and more.

Then I am talking to this “other” me, who seems very child-like, even though she is fully grown. She is very frail and thin, her skin pale and almost translucent. I find her on the floor in a white hospital-like setting, with an IV in her arm. She is unresponsive and I say to her, “Why did you do that?” and in my mind I know she has overdosed on the drug she is suppose to take to help her illness. I shake her and am worried. I have a communication with her that is without words. In it, there is a vision of her showing me three drawings she has done. They are familiar to me and are childrhuman-dnaen’s drawings. I see my initials on the top of the paper and point them out to her, congratulating her on her ability to draw and write her name.

Phil, who had been with me, is now gone but I can talk to him in my mind. The dream becomes muddled here as I gain awareness. I recognize my deep connection to this man and know he is 29 years old. At the same time i recognize this number to be significant as it adds up to 11. I am so happy to be with him but know that our communication is limited to only times he initiates. I trust him, though, and know that no communication does not indicate no connection.

I attempt several time to write an email to Phil about the ailing me. I type his email – Philateree@gmail.com.  The first time I try to send I type the address wrong and it does not go through. The second time I type it, I wake up.

The Dr. Returns

I awake to such an overwhelming calm and peace. The dream sequence is still vivid and I try to make sense of it. Am I sick? Does the dream character me indicate that I am physically ill?

My mind is filled with questions and I struggle to find the connection with my Higher Self. Why can’t I connect?

That is when I sense my guide and recognize he is the same man as in my dream. I instantly think, “Phil”. I then remember the dream I had a while back about “Dr. Who” and realize that he is the Dr from that and other dreams. He sends confirmation.

Much knowingness floods into my mind and I recognize that for some reason I have been afraid of whatever healing is about to be initiated. My dreams represent this fear. The military connection has to do with emotional repression. The illness represents a need to be healed. The IV represents healing and that an important message has been missed.

The tiny blue cube was a mystery, though. What did it symbolize?

I heard a response – “Genome”.

This response confuses me. “What genome?” and I think, “The human genome”.

I had to get up and get ready for work so I had to stop communication there. I am still trying to figure out what all these dreams signify and I am at a loss. I know I felt good this morning, so that is a positive. I suspect that my Ego is overreacting, so I distrust myself to decipher what it all means. All I know is that the last time I met with the Dr he initiated an intense healing of my heart.

by

Extended Dreams

I have not yet shared the occurrences of what I will call “extended dreams” yet because it was not yet known to me. However, I am certain now of the existence of such a dream and the purpose of it.

Extended Dream

This is night two of a dream that goes on all night despite my waking and staying awake and even trying to not dream the same dream. The vividness and detail of the dream sequence cannot be ignored, nor can the very obvious messages and purpose. I am calling this phenomenon an extended dream. It may have another name but I don’t have time to research it. Please let me know if there is such a term so I can use it from now on. 🙂

This is night two of an extended dream sequence. I spent most of the day yesterday contemplating whether to write out another dream sequence since it followed me most of the day, always at the back of my mind. Last night’s is similar so I guess I need to inspect these phenomenon more closely.

Rather than write it all out in detail (which would take way too long), I will summarize it.

The dream sequence repeats on a theme which is that I am either being propositioned for sex or sexual advances are subtly being made toward me. In all instances I am not afraid but very cautious and avoidant. Sometimes the person is a stranger and other times someone I know. This is not the first time this theme has presented itself.

Almost Rape

I was asleep in a bed in an unfamiliar room. I was “at work” but resting.

A man climbed into bed with me. I was not asleep but pretended to be and became very cautious. Why was a man in my bed?

He moved in very close to me, spooning with me. I remained quiet and I heard him express to himself in a whisper, “I wish she would wake up”.

I finally moved and confronted him. He moved in to kiss me and I resisted, turning toward the bedside phone and grabbing it. I picked it up and it was already connected. I heard static and voices on the line. I told the man, “I am calling for help. They will come get you”. He got out of bed and began to leave and I heard voices in the hall. A man and a woman in camouflage approached and said they had heard my call. The promptly took the man away. I felt relieved.

I woke up at this point for a while, asking to astral and was denied.

The dream resumed when I fell asleep. I left the room to visit a friend. She was tall with short blonde hair. I felt uneasy for some reason as I sat and spoke with her and her husband. I suddenly had the idea that I should tell them about the rape. While telling them about it I recalled to myself, “It was a dream, though” but I kept talking as if it were real.

I got plenty of sympathy and the woman went into the other room. The husband, who had reddish orange hair and was familiar to me, came over to me and placed his hand on my left shoulder. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable and knew he was coming onto me. I pretended like nothing was going on and he spoke to me about how sorry he was, that no one should be treated that way. He continued to move in close and I could feel his breath on my neck.

His wife came in and he withdrew. I thought to myself, “He is going to keep doing this and I won’t be able to resist”. Part of me wanted to embrace him.

I went outside to get into my car and climbed inside. The seat was in the middle and far up, as if elevated. I could see the control panel and it was like a space ship. The red-haired man was behind me. I got in and told him I had to adjust the seat. I sat in it and pushed a lever but noticed that we were already moving. I told him, “I haven’t even put the keys in!” He told me to steer the car, so I did as I put in the keys and it started up.

The man said he had the address of the attempted rapist. He showed me a paper with it written on it. All I remember now is that is was at the number 101. He gave me directions and I drove the car along a city street that quickly turned into a highway overpass. The speed limit dropped to 25mph and I was nervous as I drove high above the other roads.

I woke at this time and stayed awake again asking to astral. I again heard, “No”.

When I fell back to sleep the dream resumed. I was in front of what appeared to be a casino. I saw this stepped machine and tried to drive my car up it. I instead rammed into it and immediately apologized to the woman behind the counter. I saw I had damaged my car but not the machine. She asked an assistant to look at the machine which promptly fell apart. She told me i had to wait 40 minutes so I told the red-haired man and he went off to look for the rapist.

energyhealingAs I waited I spoke with the Asian lady asking her how she would prove I broke her machine and telling her it was not really broken. I recognized the cameras and gave up and she told me of her dream to become a car salesman. I thought it stupid as I listened to her. I resolved myself to have to pay for my crime.

It was then that I seemed to be both myself and a dark haired man. The Asian woman, who I can see clear as day, watched as I inspected the other casino machines. There was a large, fist sized gold coin and she said, “You found a quarter”. She then told me to do something, so I humored her and did it. She smiled and said, “You won!” and it was thousands of dollars. She took a portion to pay for the damage I had made and handed me a pile of odd looking over-sized green bills. I knew it was $70,000+ dollars and I heard the thoughts of the man (who was also me but not me) and said to him, “You are going to let her keep it, aren’t you?” when I recognized the intent to let her have what she wanted: her own car sales business. I felt happy for her and happy to help her have her dream but at the same time I was completely confused. Only a stupid person would give up that amount of money! Yet the man who was also me did it without reservation and with complete joy.

I awoke still feeling the conflict and wondering about the dream.

I again asked to astral and was told, “No”. I asked why and heard, “Your heart” and along with that came a message that I was healing past hurt, hurt that was done to me and that I had done to others. This healing trumped any OOB exploration. I immediately knew that I was still holding much pain from the many lives where I had been sexually abused or assaulted. I am thankful I do not feel the pain in the present. The pain I have inflicted upon others is also a burden I bear and it causes me to distrust myself. Every dream of sexual advancement is me trying to open up to myself and then rejecting myself. Sigh.