Tag Archives: spiritual

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The Daisy Room

I had that odd kind of sleep where in the midst of a dream I would suddenly wonder, “Do I have to work today? What day is it?” I would then slowly wake up out of my slumber trying to figure out what day it was and if I needed to get up early. Then I would fall back to sleep only to once again wake up within a dream from these thoughts.

I finally got up to check the time and found it was 5am. Being it was my third time to wake, I decided to try to sleep.

Snowmobile Ride

I found myself in a semi-lucid dream in which I kept trying to take over the dream. I was with my ex-husband and he was getting out a snowmobile to take me and my children in. I got in but was not excited. I held on and closed my eyes preparing for the crazy ride.

I felt myself being tossed about as we rode and then felt the snowmobile spinning really fast. I decided to open my eyes and was able to keep my baby from being tossed from the snowmobile.

At some point I became fully lucid and felt a large man in front of me. I thought it was my ex but when I opened my astral eyes to look his face was all golden light, morphing and moving. His energy was huge and surrounded me. I was not afraid, though.

I felt my root chakra activating and expanding and focused upon the feeling, willing it to move upward.

The Daisy Room

As I was trying to get the feeling to expand, I suddenly found myself standing in a store. It looked like one of those tourist shops one would find in an airport. A blonde woman was standing in front of me and chattering away. She had a golden hue about her, a huge smile on her face and was very beautiful. She was looking right at me and I was very, very aware of my surroundings and what was going on. This awareness caught me off guard and I stopped thinking about expanding the pleasant energy.

I heard her telling me that I was going to go to a place. I didn’t quite hear her well enough so I asked her, “What? Where am I going?” She replied, “You are going to the Daisy Room”. I wondered what she was talking about. What Daisy Room? What is the Daisy Room?

The woman then appeared to be talking to someone on a cell phone but I saw no phone in her hand. She said to them, “There was a scheduling error. Monday and Tuesday were wrong. She needs to…..”

I became overly aware at this time of the energy in my root expanding more and came out of the scene to full awareness in my body.

celestiaCelestia

When I awoke I immediately thought of the picture that was drawn of one of my female guides. A friend of mine had an artist do a rendering of this guide. The picture was entitled, “Celestia”, which I guess was the name given to the artist by my guide. When I saw the picture it was familiar to me and I thought of all the times I had seen a blonde woman with blonde hair cut in layers like from the 80s. She always reminded me of Jane Fonda. The woman I had just seen reminded me of her as well. Was this the same guide?

This is what was written with the drawing of my guide:

Celestia – angel of sunrise – indicates the vastness of my spiritual gifts

Brilliant energy patterns (like aurora borealis) on wings, gown – ever-changing.

Brings great strength and depth of spiritual gifts. Softness. Gentle soul.

9 crystals at throat are representative of dimensions from which info comes through (throat chakra needs empowered).

Figures around head represent souls crossed over who speak with messages of love and forgiveness.

Red “fire flames” are ascended master souls (who speak through Dayna).

Aura is fiery vibrant orange and gives power and passion.

Message Celestia brings:

To move forward face the energy. Let it swirl around you and caress you. The power of spirit is there, the power of love is there, the power of connection is there.

There is a great need to de-stress, as if standing on a mountain top and allowing wind to blow stress away.

Celestia wishes to encourage Dayna to embrace who she really is and “go higher”.

Expect children to have similar gifts!

I find it interesting the in this morning’s experience with the blonde woman that she told me I would be going to the Daisy Room. Daisy’s are symbolic of purity and innocence. It is a flower that opens up its petals in the early morning light and then closes them when the sun sets. It is the flower of Spring time and new beginnings. It’s petals also represent the rays of the sun. So, I don’t think it a coincidence that Celestia is called the “angel of sunrise” in the message attached to the drawing.

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2005

I have been reading my journal and am currently in 2005. All I can say is WOW what a crazy, eventful year!

Below you will find my experiences in timeline fashion. The experiences are color coded. Blue is astral projection/OBE, green is a guide encounter experience, red is kundalini. Black is for either ideas/concepts or for experiences that I do not know how to categorize.

January, 2005

29th – While wide awake I heard a voice singing in a foreign language in my head. When I focused on it, I could understand the words. It said:

As the sun turns a deep blood red,

And rivers rise high and flood the land,

The Earth as we know it will begin to fall,

And tears of sorrow you’ll understand.

February, 2005

7th – Astral. Consciously just “walked” out of my body. Heard velcro sound upon exit. I had a teacher who was showing me how to exit when this happened. I asked him “Can I go through the door?” He said, “No”. So I reached out and it was solid so I had to open it. Then I wanted to go outside to my car. I began to think my way there and started spinning real fast. I heard, “No!” and got pulled down. I fell to the floor on my rear. I could feel the cold floor and then became aware of being in two places at once – my bed and on the floor. I could feel my heart pounding in my physical body like I went for a run but I was not in my body, I was sitting by the front door on the floor. I went back to my body and my heart was pounding.

Later discussion with my teacher revealed he was from the Pleiades, He had almost transparent skin and appeared to have webbing between his fingers. There was mention of “Aquatica” and him researching Earth and Earth consciousness. He also warned me about the stress astral projection puts on the physical body.

13th – I was told about the three levels of ascension: transformation of mind, transformation and completion of physical structure and transformation and attainment of spiritual truth (purpose).

March, 2005 – Only lucid dreams this month.

April, 2005

2nd – Guided out of my body by a male guide. Was told to “let go” and when I did I felt free of my body and heard a roaring noise in my ears. I was reminded to “stay focused” several times because I would get overly excited and almost pop back into my body. I couldn’t see but I felt my body moving very, very fast like on a roller coaster. When I did see all I saw was my alarm clock showing 8am and then the numbers started moving forward very fast. I threw open my arms and felt a hand and then grabbed on. I was thrown into a man. I heard a quiet, masculine voice say, “Quite a fine sense you have. The more and more (I finished his sentence) you see, the more and more you will believe. Trust them to know what they see”. He had a U.K. accent and I was about to ask his name but came back into my body.

16th – Spontaneous past life recollection. I relived an incident where I was a little girl of 12 years being gang raped by a bunch of white men (I was a black slave). They held a board over my throat so I couldn’t yell and beat me up pretty badly. I crawled home and was taken care of by my family.

May, 2005

16th – Couldn’t go to sleep after waking up. Heard my guide say, “Go back to sleep”. Closed my eyes and was hit with instant vibrations that were intense over the top of my head and eyes. A picture appears in front of me and I walked into it without even thinking. I came out into a night sky flying and singing. Flew over houses and went into mobile home. Interacted with Hispanic family and then left because it was heavy energy. I climbed into a bed and went to “sleep” and then felt a man. I looked at him and said, “Nick!” He told me, “We were brother and sister in one life – I am Nick you are Grace”. Then I went to a hospital helping sick by giving them energy. I worked with a mother, Barbara, who was having a baby and stayed with her until the baby was born. I then flew by some waterfalls and then saw Nick again and we hugged and talked. I woke up and then when I closed my eyes a screen appeared and I knew I could easily walk through it. I chose to stay. This astral was about 3 hours total length.

19th – Experience of being in two places as I was staring at a TV. screen but not really watching the movie. I felt sucked into the TV. and felt transported to another place. I came back suddenly and with some fear.

25th – Had another experience where I was driving home, feeling very down and wishing I could leave life. I had a very strong pull come from within me that steered the car towards the edge of a bridge I was driving over. I panicked, not sure where this sudden overtaking of my body was. I struggled but managed to keep the car on the road.

June, 2005

3rd – Reading the book Astral Dynamics by Robert Bruce. He talks about the trance state and I am convinced that I have been going into trance frequently and this may be the cause for the bridge episode.

5th – Astral experiences detailed here (not going to write them out). Noted that I am not in real-time but most often in astral.

7th – More astral experiences. Learning how to stay in astral and manipulate objects/speed/location.

energyhealingJuly, 2005

2nd – 1st astral: Entered trance state easily. Saw hypnagogic images, heard buzzing in my ears and a loud WHOOSH sound and I exited my body. Walked through objects easily and enjoyed feeling myself become the objects. I found myself watching a map of the universe and then focused in upon Earth. I saw military operations in the desert. I saw a train carrying a helicopter and war machinery and the terrain was very barren with rocks and boulders. I asked to not be shown these things and so focused upon my body, purposefully moving it to come out of astral.

2nd astral: This was my first conscious projection with one of the methods from Bruce’s book. I felt myself outside my body after trying a technique of rocking my body. I ended up head down staring at the floor and out of my body. I noted that I could not go through objects like last time. I played around, learning to materialize objects. Made money materialize and then my dog joined me and we romped around a while. Then I flew up into the sky and was pulled with such velocity upward that I ended up in space staring down at the Earth. The overwhelm of it brought me back to my body.

5th – Went into trance state while walking on my treadmill and listening to Aboriginal music. I closed my eyes and relaxed into the exercise. Then my eyes went into REM followed by a bright, white light that took over my entire vision. I felt the familiar vibration that signaled I could leave my body. I almost did except I worried what would happen to my body since I was on the treadmill. So I stayed in body and played with the trance state some.

6th – Recognizing the conflict created by Ego resistance and the results: chaotic thoughts, distress, destructive tendencies, “soul split” can occur, confusion, disorientation, paranoia, feelings of insanity. One must choose Ego or the Higher Self. Recognition that one creates their own reality is inherent in this process.

20-30th – Went to U.K. Had several hypnosis sessions. I recalled a life as a Native American. There was a ghost in the house I stayed at that I had to deal with. I had several astral adventures but do not go into all of them. In one I went to San Francisco and another to my old high school.

August, 2005 – Mostly lucid dreams this month, family illness, personal upheaval, sister divorced, decisions on what to do, past issues came up.

21st – Guide encounter. Astral meeting. All senses were present. He spoke to me with accent and said his name was Rostan.

29th – Went to psychiatrist who said my OBEs were “psychotic episodes”. She quickly diagnosed me as Bipolar 2 and kept trying to get me to admit I was drinking alcohol and traumatized (which I wasn’t). She gave me an antipsychotic and antidepressant to take.

30-31st – Medicine is making me feel really off and dizzy. It makes me sleep so deep I don’t dream and makes me feel shaky all the time. I stopped taking it two days later.

September, 2005 Most of this month is lucid dream after lucid dream.

4th – Astral experience where the bed felt to be moving and I was pulled into pictures. When I would come back to my body it would happen again and again. I was also hit with intense energy sensations all over my body but mostly around third eye and top of head. Friend later told me this was kundalini.

October, 2005

11th – I wrote that my dreams have all been very sexual for the past month or so. I had an experience where while I was OOB I was hit with a strong energy in my root chakra. It shot up as if in a wide cylinder and moved up my center through my chakras. It expanded as it moved and filled me with such ecstasy that it brought me back to my body. It continued and I began to cry from the experience of it. It was orgasmic but in a different way and hard to explain.

22nd – I’ve been very depressed since the ecstasy experience. I had a guide encounter in astral. I heard his voice audibly. He gave me instructions on how to return to the “in-between” space where I can talk to him without interference. He said it was “a place where past, present and future existed at the same time”. I did as he instructed and went into the lives of other people (some in great detail). I couldn’t tell what time they were from but was told I would be taught how.

25th – I mention that I have had many astral experiences but they were mostly just me alone doing my thing, so I didn’t write about them. I mention a projection where I was being taught how to control astral better and manipulate it. I was taught how to travel using thought and practiced it and met up with others in astral and spoke with about 5 different people. One was a police officer and one told me, “That’s not allowed here” when I asked her name. It appeared that I was meeting people from present time but I didn’t know why.

Your-Higher-SelfNovember, 2005

3rd – Guide encounter in astral. He appeared to me as moving, brilliant light energy with a bluish hue. I heard him and he had an Australian accent. I saw him mostly as blue light though I could make out features. He moved like water. He told me, “I was your first birthday present”. He said much more to tell me as well but I did not write it all down.
The rest of the month was mainly lucid dreams.

December, 2005

4th – Astral 2 times. I met up with people, ate food and thought, “Wow, things even taste better in astral”. My vision blacked out a lot and I realized it happened anytime I resisted doing what my Higher Self wanted. When I was in black out my guide would remind me to stay focused and then I would return to astral.

13th – Astral. I was recognizing the right energy to exit my body. Was told to create whatever I wanted and I ended up standing next to huge, crystal clear ocean on the beach. I saw a peacock and scared it by accident. It ran into the water, almost drowning. I tried to save it but it made it more afraid. I finally let it alone and it came out of the water.

16th – Astral. Walked into several pictures. Finally, I walked into a picture of a lake. I ended up at a lake that was surrounded by a glass house. I went into the dark, cool water and felt huge relief.

22nd – Massive amount of energy descended on me from above. I was not asleep or meditating – I was wide awake! It filled my entire body and felt like a swarm of bees buzzing inside of me. I felt electric or as if I had been magnetized. I relaxed into it. Then the energy seemed to reach a state of equilibrium and my astral body exited out the top of my head. Yet the buzzing energy stayed with me even OOB. My astral body moved so rapidly I felt like I was on a roller coaster and it scared me a little. When I opened my eyes I was traveling very fast. Neon blue lines and shapes zipped past me at dizzying speeds. So I closed my eyes and continued with the energy. I change direction a few times. When I opened my eyes I was underneath my bed! I then went around my house in astral for a while, exploring, flying, etc.

28th – Astral. I flew over an ocean and saw tropical trees and beaches. I knew I was in Australia. I skimmed the top of the water until I got to the island. There I explored a boardwalk lined with stores. It felt familiar and I was happy to be back. I went into a shop and there, sitting all alone at a table, was my Dad. I was overjoyed! I ran up to him and hugged him tightly. We spoke at length about my sister. He warned me of tough times ahead for her and I recall seeing visions of her sleeping on a sofa and being depressed and sad. He told me I needed to help her. I remember thinking it odd that he came to me to talk to me about my sister but I accepted his visit gratefully.

Note: My sister went through a period of difficult times after this OBE that continues to this day.

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Teaching in Astral

I awoke at 5:30am a bit irritated to be wide awake at such an early time. I tried to go back to sleep by my tummy was rumbling and my mouth was dry. So, I got up to get a snack and a drink. My husband was awake preparing for the marathon. I said hi, ate my snack and returned to bed.

Within the hour my baby started crying. I had still not gone back to sleep so it was no big deal. I got him his bottle and saw my two other children were watching t.v. downstairs and had all the lights on. It was early so that was surprising. I set up the baby with his bottle and went back to bed knowing he was ready to wake up for the day and would be fine with his siblings to play with him.

I tried to fall asleep again but a dove was cooing outside my window and would not stop. I put a pillow over my head and cursed him and considered going to another room to sleep. I actually considered just getting up since I was not tired and my lower back and pelvic area ached. I decided to do some stretches in bed to alleviate the ache. It worked and I rolled over to try to sleep.

OBE #1: Conversation with Husband

I found myself in a semi-lucid dream reaching to my right and touching my husband as he lay next to me. I could feel his body, it was warm and solid. He moved and I said something to him and he responded but I don’t know what I said. What I do remember is thinking, “He’s not home right now. This must be a dream!”

This thought woke me up and I opened my eyes, blinked and thought, “I want to astral”. I rolled over and felt the familiar heavy sensation that comes with sleep followed by subtle vibrations that rolled up and down my body comfortingly. I must have fallen asleep quickly because the next thing I did was reach over to see if my husband was there. He was. He was very real and solid again and I thought, “I am dreaming. I can exit now”.

With the thought I felt the vibrations again. I rolled in the direction of my husband’s body and felt myself separate from my physical body. I immediately bobbed up over the bed and my astral vision came on clear. The room was bright and I could clearly seeing my husband’s completely naked body curled up on the bed facing where I had been. I was not there, though.

Knowing that my husband was running the marathon, I reminded myself that this was likely not him but probably one of his counterparts. I did not even consider that he was completely made up (which I am glad of). I hovered there looking at him for a while, happy that my vision was clear and I was not in a dark, gloomy environment. I then moved closer to him and touched him on the leg. He turned towards me and smiled and we talked. I asked him how his run was going and he said, “Difficult. I just got done getting around all the groups of people”. I recognized this as I had run the half marathon with him in 2011 and the beginning is like trying to push your way through a crowd until you get to mile 5 and then it thins out.

He sent me a feeling of love and reached for me and I let him. I could feel him and knew, even though it wasn’t really him, that I was communicating with him on another level and that pleased me.

My vision blacked out and I felt the familiar vibrations return and immediately thought, “I want to go back”.

OBE #2: Neighbor’s Visit

I again felt the vibrations and reached over and felt my husband lying next to me. I rolled out and up without effort and the room was dark this time. I had heard a baby crying and so looked to find my baby in the room as well. I looked for him, worried when I couldn’t find him, but then found him sleeping in a mound of blankets. I let him sleep and ventured toward the door.

I got to the door and recall mentally checking to see if this would be “okay”. I felt it was and so continued but my body felt a bit heavy. I said, “More energy” and I immediately felt lighter. I walked out the door of the room and recognized my house. I decided to go down the stairs and into the living area. It was not lit up like I expected but it was golden colored.

At this time I heard the sound of someone coming into the house and then talking to my kids. I went to investigate and saw a middle aged woman with thin, blond, short hair that came to her chin. I asked her, “Why are you in my house? What are you doing here?” She seemed completely comfortable with being there and oblivious to her intrusion. She said, “I wanted to talk to you about a problem with the fences. Our group has been working to repair all the fences in the neighborhood. They are falling down. Like yours”. She pointed to our fence in the backyard. We were standing in the kitchen area looking out, the room was well illuminated and I was looking at her closely to try and figure out who the heck she was.

Realizing she was likely dreaming and really not too interested in her, I went along with her conversation. I asked, “When are you planning to do this?” She said, “2053”. I thought that sounded weird and for a moment thought she must have said 1953 but then changed my mind.

I said, “Hmmm, that seems like way too long to me. If you were going to do it in 2015 then that would make more sense”.

I was standing at our french doors looking out at the back yard and wanting to go out when I said this. The doors swung open gently and I could feel the night breeze on my face. I also could see the night sky dotted with stars and felt a call to go out. I turned around, instantly knowing the woman would no longer be there. Sure enough, she was gone, the chair she had been sitting in was empty.

I walked outside, sending a silent query about if it was okay. I felt it was, so I walked into the yard and could feel the green grass on my bare feet. I could also see the trees and the night sky behind them and feel the cool breeze on my face. I thought, “This is beautiful” and stood there enjoying it.

I began to focus on the stars and saw they came all the way down to meet the horizon. I felt drawn to them and allowed myself to be pulled up, but not too much. I remembered how if I thought, “Up” I would sometimes go too fast. So I thought, “Only halfway”. I stopped above the trees and before I had a chance to do anything else, my vision began to black out. I knew instantly that I was suppose to go up and not stop.

I settled back over my physical body.

astral1OBE #3: Teaching Others to Fly

I thought, “Just one more time, okay?” Then, I felt the vibrations, though subtle, and rolled out of my body again. I looked for my husband but he was not there.

I decided to go downstairs and look around. My vision was not as clear – the room was darker. As I moved toward the bedroom door I could feel my energy decrease and I said, “More energy”. When I did, I felt a surge of energy and my vision cleared, but the room was still darker than before.

I got to the stairs and started to go down but decided I wanted to fly down but felt heavy. I again said, “More energy” and felt myself lift up easily. I floated downstairs, expecting to see the bright lights and my kids watching t.v. Instead, it was dark like the rest of the house. I heard voices in the kitchen area and so went that way. I immediately saw my children with two other, smaller children. They were playing together.

A little Hispanic girl with long, dark brown hair was looking at me. I greeted her and the others and took the little girl by the hand. I lifted her up with me and he face showed a look of shock. I said to her, “It’s okay. You can fly. See? There’s nothing to be afraid of. I can help you”. She smiled when she saw she was flying and I took her up with me toward the ceiling. She laughed and I let go of her hand. She went back down quickly and I hovered up near the ceiling. I felt myself falling, too, and my vision nearly blackout and I said, “More energy”. I immediately got my vision back and was able to stay in the air.

I landed and saw that a woman was with the kids. She kicked one of them, the young boy who looked to be the Hispanic girl’s brother. I went to investigate and saw a tall, middle aged, slightly obese woman with short, dark brown hair. She was wearing a blue sweater and jeans. I went up to her and looked up at her (she was taller than me). I said to her, “Did you kick him? Please don’t kick the children”.

I then saw her face very clearly and she looked to be depressed and somewhat out of it (dazed and probably not knowing where she was or what she was doing). I didn’t recognize her but she seemed harmless enough. I asked her, “Are you okay?” She said, “No, I’m not”.

I took her by the hand and lifted her up with me saying, “I can show you how to fly”. I pulled her up but felt resistance. She was heavy and cumbersome to lift. My vision threatened to go again and I said, “More energy”. When I said this, not only did my vision stay but the woman got lighter and we both lifted up easily into the air. I told her, “You can fly here and it will make you feel better. You can come back and fly alone or I can fly with you”.

I let go of her and she fell backward and landed on the wood floor with a thump. I was initially concerned but then I heard her laugh hysterically and I smiled. I went over and pulled on her to help her lift up and she then tried to stay up. She was wobbly but eventually hovered in a sitting position, still laughing.

My vision began to fade out and I knew it was time to return to my body.

Body’s Reaction

When I returned to my body the energy of my two bodies was not coming together smoothly. I don’t know how I knew this but I did. What is odd is it felt like it does most of the time but this time I just knew it was not right.

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and knew this was part of the problem. My physical body was stressed and I mentally said, “Gently” as if saying it would help the two bodies merge better. But the energy felt off, like rocky and unstable. It was almost like my physical body was rejecting my energy body.

Realizing this strange feeling was not going to stop, I focused on moving my body to force the merging of the energy. I tried to move my hand and open my eyes. My hand moved but my astral eyes opened instead of my physical eyes and I saw the grays and blacks of the etheric. I was still not merged completely.

I focused more on my hand and then my arm, moving them both and finally feeling IN my body. I rolled over and opened my eyes. My heart stopped pounding and I felt normal.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 8

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 10pm

Time to wake: 5:30am

Meditation?: No

Physical Exercise?: Yes

Mood: normal

Body: Lower back and pelvic area aching

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 1

Technique?: No

Sleeping position:Left side

Supplements: Multivitamin, Natural Calm 400mg, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Biotin 1000mg, Vitamin E 400mg, Evening Primrose Oil 1300mg

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Shutting Down

I made an appointment to see a doctor in my area for the end of the month. I have to bring a bunch of paperwork with me, so I went ahead and filled it out. It always blows me away when I fill out the family and personal medical history! I have heart related issues on both sides of my family, pretty much guaranteeing that I will have some kind of heart-related issue in my life. High blood pressure, heart disease, heart attack, stroke, high cholesterol, blood clots, and faulty heart valves. I am probably missing something in that list, too. It also really freaked me out when I wrote in my grandmother’s cancer since she got it when she was around my age. It didn’t help me feel any better.

Strange Premonitions

I am going to call this a “premonition” but it is really not like what most think. I didn’t get a vision or hear a voice or even have a dream. The last couple of days I have been doing something normal and have suddenly worried I would lose muscle control in my hands and drop whatever I was holding. For example, yesterday, I picked up the remote control which was dragged into the kitchen and slobbered on by my baby (his new favorite toy) and I got a distinct worry/feeling that my hand would suddenly drop the remote despite my holding onto it. I was a bit concerned at first, wondering if it were really happening, and had to do a reality check. I squeezed the remote and all was okay, but I didn’t forget the weird feeling/flash.

I had another similar flash/worry while typing on the computer this morning. It was the same as with the remote. While I was typing I suddenly kept feeling that my hands were going to just stop doing what I asked them to. I had a “flash” of this more like a worry than a vision and I kept having to double check what I was typing. Interestingly, I kept mistyping things and got very frustrated for a bit.

Perhaps I just created all of these visions from my overwhelming consideration that something is not quite right? I don’t know, but I can tell you that it is very unsettling to have these types of visions. It is like for a millisecond I truly believe that I have this loss of muscle function. I panic and then find I was only day dreaming it.

I will put this on the “shelf” in the back of my mind like I do all the other weird things that I can’t explain. Hopefully it is not a real premonition and just me being a worry wart.

Staring

I mentioned this in one of my other posts and since I am still noticing it, I will bring it up again. Whenever I go out into a store or a public place, I catch people staring at me. It is not just glancing, but dead on staring. It is also not just men, though there are more men than women who do it. And it is not a stare that I am comfortable with. It leaves me with an uncomfortable feeling like I need to go check the mirror to make sure I don’t have a big booger on my face.

I don’t know what it is and when I consult with my guide I hear, “How you appear on the outside is not how you appear on the inside”. I don’t get what he means, though. What the heck do I look like to people that they keep staring at me?? I want to think they are looking at something positive, like my inner radiance (gag) is shining through. But I don’t feel radiant. I have been told that my aura is a bright sun-colored orange right now. Maybe that has something to do with it. Who knows.

But then I get what my guide said. How I feel on the inside is not visible to others. They are seeing something else. It is funny to me that they might be seeing beauty because when I go out into public now I don’t wear makeup. Most of the time I am even wearing sloppy clothing and my hair is just pulled back out of my face. All the men in my life have told me that I look better like that. Maybe I do? That just makes me laugh out loud.

I still wish I knew what they were staring at.

goddessShutting Down

I did not directly tell my guide to stop talking to me, but it has gone silent during the day. I think just my writing about it the other day was the cause. It was not like I was getting constant chatter throughout the day anyway, so don’t think that. It is never like that, more like I am constantly aware of another presence close by. I just decided that I needed to do what I was being urged to do: focus on my life and live it. I suddenly realized that I was attempting to escape reality by going into my own spiritual world and this was not going to be allowed. Rather than get depressed about it, I decided to just suck it up and deal with it. I mean, we are here to live, right?

The feeling I am having is telling me to listen to my heart. My heart is telling me to follow up on the physical issue worries that keep bothering me. I keep remembering a dream I had about a hurricane. At the time the message was that I was in the eye of hurricane. So perhaps now I am coming into the “storm”, whatever that means.

I am also going to resume auditing. I believe I start next week. The initial interview brought up some issues I didn’t even know I was holding in. It is amazing to me how actually talking to someone who you know will keep what you say confidential is such a relief. No judgements will be made, no invalidation of what you say – just real listening and acceptance.

So, for now, I am focused upon the physical. I will not be seeking out spiritual experiences. If they come to me, I will accept them and use them to gain insight into life. I will share them in this blog as well, but I have a feeling there will not be many in the coming weeks. Just a feeling I have.

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Hypoglycemia

Most of the day yesterday I felt very on edge. I felt very close to breaking down into tears most of the day and that was curious to me. Yes I had a bad day the day before but it really didn’t signal “the end”, did it? Yet that seems to be how I was feeling/thinking most of the day yesterday. I literally felt that this was just the beginning and more was to come.

Hypoglycemia

Last night I woke up three times. Each time I had to use the bathroom, which is very irritating to me in itself. However, one time I awoke thinking the word “hypoglycemia”.

I had been dreaming about going into a very large bathroom. It had a very wide, open layout and the shower was one of those that was built into the room and open so that someone with a wheelchair could use it. I remember thinking about this while I was in the bathroom. I used the shower while fully clothed and then left. I remember that my clothes were still dry even though I had just showered.

Taking a shower indicates healing in a dream. Specifically spiritual and/or physical renewal. The fact that I had my clothes on indicates that change in my outward appearance does not change who I am on the inside. Being in a bathroom could be a direct reflection of me needing to use the restroom or it could be indicating a desire to cleanse myself emotionally and psychologically. Perhaps it is both.

I instantly put the two things together – the thought of hypoglycemia and the shower dream. I then had a memory of the search I had done on the internet about my frequent need to urinate during the night, my intense thirst throughout most of the day and some of my other issues. The top result was hypoglycemia.

Why was this in my mind upon waking?

When I was 28, I had a very scary experience while at work. I lost my vision, felt faint and had to sit down. Upon sitting, I could not see anything and it was really scary. The nurse was called and sent me some orange juice and peanut butter crackers. Within a minute of drinking the orange juice, my vision returned and after I ate all of the snack I felt normal.

I went to the doctor who could find nothing wrong with me and she told me I was hypoglycemic. She instructed me to eat every 2-3 hours and told me what to eat. I did this and did not have an issue again until I was pregnant.

I had previous experiences like that all the way back to my early 20’s. One time i checked my blood glucose levels with a coworkers device. My blood sugar was 72. This is very low but I felt fine. One is considered hypoglycemic when their blood sugar levels drop below 70. Here are symptoms of hypoglycemia:

  • blurry vision
  • rapid heartbeat
  • sudden mood changes
  • sudden nervousness
  • unexplained fatigue
  • pale skin
  • headache
  • hunger
  • shaking
  • sweating
  • difficulty sleeping
  • skin tingling
  • trouble thinking clearly or concentrating
  • loss of consciousness

When I have had episodes of low blood sugar I experienced: blurry vision, rapid heartbeat, mood changes (horrible ones!), nervousness, fatigue, headache (always), hunger (sometimes), shaking (horrible), skin tingling, trouble thinking clearly. I almost had the loss of consciousness that one time. That meant my blood sugar had gotten very low. Scary!

cosmicshowerDiabetes

I was told at the time that I did not have diabetes, just low blood sugar caused by my intense exercise routine and not eating enough. When I adjusted my diet, I had no more issues. If I ever did feel the symptoms come on, which for me are irritability, hunger, and headache, then I eat and they went away.

But now I am experiencing increased thirst and hunger throughout the day even though I have decreased my exercise and intensity of exercise substantially. I still eat five or six times a day, but I am finding that within an hour of eating breakfast I am hungry again! Add to that the skin issues I have been having, the sexual disinterest (dysfunction), irritability, fatigue, blurry vision or vision changes, tingling in my hands/feet, and it sure seems very likely that I have or am developing diabetes. For a full list of symptoms, click here.

I also have a family history of type 2 diabetes. My grandfather was diagnosed with diabetes in his 70s. He had a sister who lost a foot from diabetes. All of his six brothers and sisters got diagnosed with it later in life. My mom is hypoglycemic and getting worse (though she would deny it).

Putting Two and Two Together

Once I was up and thinking about all of this information it did not take me long to connect it with the other messages I have gotten. Not long ago I was told, “Listen to your body” and it is like that message has made me ultra sensitive to everything going on with my body. I actually started thinking I was becoming a hypochondriac! But the feeling only intensified after my dermatologist appointment.

I long ago asked myself what the cause of my death would be. I instantly knew it would be kidney failure. I put it on a “shelf” in my mind to save for later. I now cannot ignore the fact that the kidneys suffer from what diabetes does to the body. Nor can I ignore the fact  that in two of my three pregnancies my kidneys were the first area of my body to threaten to shut down from pre-eclampsia. I have also had protein in my urine since I was a small child. No known reason for it and the amount is always so slight that the doctors never worry about it.

Maybe I am over thinking all of this but I cannot ignore the feeling. So I will be looking for a doctor in the area and getting a complete physical to find out if there is really anything wrong with me.

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Bad Day

Yesterday I went to the dermatologist to try to figure out the source of my skin issues. She immediately diagnosed me with eczema. I don’t remember the specific type of eczema (she gave it a name) but she said it was a result of an allergy. She asked me if I had ever had allergies in the past. Based upon my answers, she urged me to get an allergy test done because allergies change over time. Then she gave me a prescription hydrocortisone cream for the eczema.

I also have folliculitis on the back of one of my legs. She said it was likely caused by me itching my overly dry skin. She gave me some antibacterial gel for that. I have had folliculitis before so bad that I had to take prednisone, so I was not surprised by this diagnosis.

Then I showed her the odd sore on my right leg that has been there since the first week in January. She immediately said, “That’s got to go”. She told me that it looked like a mole to her and that anything that grew that fast and had not gone away needed to be biopsied. So right then and there they numbed a spot on my leg and removed it. I was told I would know the result in about a week.

I had suspected she would biopsy it. When I first saw it (and I had to use a mirror to see it), it concerned me. My first thought was that it was some kind of cancer which I researched. It looked to me like basal cell carcinoma. When I asked her what she thought it was, she mentioned basal cell carcinoma and one other possibility that I had never heard of. When I asked her if I should be concerned, she said no and told me she had one on her face. She told me it just had to be removed and if it was cancer then I may have to come in and have more skin removed. That was it.

So I went from the dermatologist straight to get my prescription cream. It took an hour to fill because it was 4:30pm and I guess everyone goes to Walgreens to fill prescriptions at that time of day, or at least it seemed like the case! On a positive note, my high deductible, Obama Care crap insurance that costs too much cut the doctor visit and prescription cost in half. I guess Aetna isn’t so bad after all.

I called and told my husband what had happened. I had only just told him about my concerns and the doctor appointment this past weekend because I just didn’t feel like telling him. He wasn’t concerned then and still wasn’t when I told him about the biopsy. When I got home he hugged me and said, “Mema (his mom) wants to know if she can have your car when you die”. I said yes, fake-laughing about it. I really didn’t think it was funny.

Dread

Something about the biopsy and possible skin-cancer diagnosis caused me to feel dread, like more is coming. I keep thinking, “If I have cancer on my skin, what is to say I don’t have it somewhere in my body, also?” Thinking about that possibility bothers me but not so much. I decided long ago that if I get diagnosed with some kind of cancer in my body that I won’t seek treatment. I will let whatever happens, happen.

I went to bed really exhausted. I guess it was the day’s events or maybe I was just tired because I woke up at 5am that morning and could not go back to sleep. I was woken up about an hour after falling asleep. I remember being outside my body and resisting coming back to it despite the strong pull. My son had been wailing and that was the “pull” back. I was so groggy when I got up to soothe him. Then I struggled to return to sleep.

When I woke up I was filled with despair and disinterest in life. I recall only one other time when I felt this low and that was in 2005. I suspect my review of my journal from that time is what has triggered some of this despair. That and the bad day I had yesterday.

I had a strong urge to delete my FB account this morning along with a strong urge to ask my guides to stop talking to me during the day. I have done the latter in the past because it was just too depressing to be constantly reminded of the spiritual. I eventually asked them to stop communicating all other times, too, except when absolutely necessary. Then they came back and I am feeling the need to make the same decision again. I honestly would rather they had just stayed quiet than to give me hope of something good happening. Unfounded hope is worse than no hope at all.

Trend

When I went on FB today to check the groups I am a part of, I discovered that a close friend had deactivated her account. It had just been active yesterday and I thought it odd that I also had the same urge. I understand why she would deactivate her account. I probably should also.

But I keep seeing things posted that end up helping me. One such post I saw today I am going to share with you. It helps me feel a bit better about how I have been feeling. Maybe it will help you, too.

If I’m Waking Up, Why Don’t I Feel………Better?

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The Purpose of Astral

I continue to review my journal and have now finished reading the entire first binder. It is difficult to read what my thoughts were like during 2003-2005. I was really struggling! I am amazed that I made it through this time.

The Purpose of Astral

I do not write much about my experiences OOB in this part of my journal, but I write enough. My first projections were in 2004 but there is not much detail about the first ones. However, by the beginning of 2005 I begin to write more about my OBEs. Below you will find those entries. I did not yet know the terms Higher Self so I did not use this term. I added it in parentheses to help with understanding. I also referred to the Ego as “consciousness”.

April, 2005

As I fell asleep I was talking to someone and I could feel energy coming over me. I remember being told to let my consciousness go and to let go. I remember trying to let go and struggling with the notion of it. Then I must have let go! I remember feeling my body above my head vertically and then below. I remember liking the feeling and trying to get more of it, trying to control it. I tried to roll out of my bed and go on a journey but found it difficult and noticed my conscious mind becoming more aware. Again, I was reminded to control my consciousness and I must have because I heard the roaring in my ears and went deeper in astral. At that point I felt my body moving up and down again and then I felt it start to move fast, like real fast. I was thrilled because it was like being on a roller coaster! I couldn’t see though and remember saying, “I can’t see!” All I saw was my digital alarm clock showing the time of 8am and then the numbers started moving forward really fast to the point that I don’t know what time it was. Then I started moving in circles and spinning real fast round and round. It was so fun. I was elated.

I decided to throw my arms out to see if I could touch someone. I felt hands as I was trying to reach out but couldn’t grab hold of them. I kept reaching and finally grabbed hold of a hand. Then I started slowing down real fast and I was thrown into a man. I felt myself pushed into him and my head was right up next to his. I apologized to him and then realized I was hugging a man and I could feel his hairy chest! I knew he was dark haired and I was very happy to be with him. Right about the time I realized what was happening I heard a quiet, masculine voice say to me, “Quite a fine sense you have. The more and more…(I finished his sentence) you see, the more and more you will believe. Trust them to know what they see”. When I was about to ask his name I awoke in my bed still hearing his voice.

He had an accent like an old American or UK accent….He said he is my teacher, the one who has been teaching me about astral.

This astral teacher told me point blank that astral was being used to help me heal. He told me very sternly, “You know nothing about healing”. Ha! I didn’t laugh at the time, though.

A week later I continue to talk about my teacher and the purpose for astral:

I am learning in astral how to control my emotions/feelings and how to listen to them. I don’t hear or see my guides when I first go into astral. I sometimes go out and do things and other times I don’t. This last time I became conscious as astral happened and went with it. When I started wanting to do things I felt resistance. It was almost like a wall formed. When I stopped wanting to do my own thing and let things go as they were the resistance stopped. So I was learning about how to control my conscious mind (Ego) and to allow subconscious mind (Higher Self) to have control. The subconscious is not like the conscious at all – it cannot be controlled. It is led by something else, something we are not in control of. So I was actually able to see that difference. I think my teacher is here to help me differentiate between what my soul wants and what my conscious (Ego) wants. He’s teaching me how to get them in unison somehow, mainly by making conscious step back at certain times.

I am being reminded to balance the mundane and the spiritual. Balance is when we use consciousness only when we make mundane decisions. I am told to continue in the mundane but to remember to tune into my heart. He (my teacher) showed me my “center” and said to use it as I live life. He said the soul (Higher Self) will allow conscious to continue without resistance until the conscious is going the wrong way. Then there will be a “bell” that goes off or a “wall” hit. The soul is only there to help us remember our function and path.

thDifferentiation of Feeling and the Ego

I also talk about learning how to differentiate feelings and control my consciousness while OOB.

My guide was talking to me about feeling last night and I think he is trying to get me to understand that feeling is not what I think it is. I define it as emotion. But it is more like following a “compass”. I keep waiting for an emotion to trigger a decision and emotion triggering a decision can be way wrong. It is like words; communication. Like telepathy. In astral I understand the message “No, no, no” but I don’t hear it. I know it and can then see the “wall” ahead of me. The wall felt physical because in the spiritual (while OOB) you can go where you want but you sense change as vibration. So vibration changes and you feel the change in your soul…..My consciousness (Ego) is very strong. It has been given the right of way for 28 years. I have to slowly teach it to yield to my soul (Higher Self).

Merging

Finally, I mention, for the first time, the word “merging”:

It seems the reason I am bombarded by mundane right now is to help me use my soul in unison with my life. If you try using consciousness to make it (channeling) happen, consciousness stays in control. It (channeling) is like allowing soul (Higher Self) to come in on its own without [the] conscious feeling threatened. My guide is telling me to have patience, that we are working together to allow this assimilation. It is like merging is going on.

ReDo

I see now why I was asked to read my journal. A “bell” rang because somehow, some way, I went off course.

…the soul (Higher Self) will allow conscious to continue without resistance until the conscious is going the wrong way. Then there will be a “bell” that goes off or a “wall” hit.

I am again being asked to find balance; to control myself (Ego), and listen to my heart so that I may better hear what it is that I am suppose to be doing.

I now also understand why I have met with such resistance in my projections. I somehow forgot the valuable lesson I learned in 2005. The point is to listen to the Higher Self, or soul as I called it back then. To do this, one needs to keep the Ego in check. This practice while OOB transfers to life IN the body. What one is, so is the other.

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Revelations from my Past

In the summer of 2003 I began writing a journal of my experiences. I did this at the urging of my guides in order to chronicle my spiritual awakening. The journal covers the time frame from 2003-2007. I printed it out and put it into two, three inch binders and have not thought of it much since then. Yet yesterday I thought I should get it out and read. So that is what I did.

I am currently in the Spring of 2004 and have already discovered that I forgot well more than I thought I had!

Kundalini

I have long suspected that what I experienced in from 2003-2007 was kundalini but I wasn’t completely sure of this. I didn’t remember enough of the energy sensations or other symptoms. I am now certain it was kundalini, kundalini that was triggered spontaneously through meditation.

My first experiences with kundalini were generally ignored or passed off as unknown physical issues, panic attacks, mental problems (depression) or something else. I often experienced intense surges of energy that would come into me all at once and then move out. I assumed this energy was that of my guide and thought no more of it. I had chakras turning on and off all the time. I thought it normal – just a part of a spiritual awakening. I oftentimes would become so full of odd energy that I would become thoroughly nervous and anxious and have to escape somewhere to get away. I listened to the people who I associated with, assuming I just needed to “ground and protect” because the energy was either Spirit energy or the sometimes negative and overwhelmingly intense emotions of the people who I came into contact with.

I found an entry I wrote of conversation I had in May 2003 where I was told, point blank, by a person I knew in a chat room, that I was “preparing to ascend”. That was not the first I heard of ascension, either, but for some reason I just didn’t consider it important I guess because I never focus upon it in my journal. So I answered my own question about whether ascension was even known about in 2003. It obviously was, except to me who was oblivious.

Finally, I talk quite a bit about having an overwhelming sexual energy that I cannot avoid that followed me through the rest of the 2003. Not only was I having spontaneous orgasms during sleep, meditation and OBEs but I was also in two very intense relationships, one of which was so difficult to disconnect from that I grieved it for many, many months afterward.

This is what I have found just so far. I suspect I will discover much more as I get further into my journals.

planetsExtraterrestrial Contact

This is where it gets really bizarre, especially for me who shies away from anything E.T.

On September 28, 2003, I wrote down a long conversation I had with my guide. Her name was Leslie and this conversation was prior to my meeting Steven:

When I first began speaking with Leslie, I had many questions about evolution. Who are we? Are we descendants of chimps and apes? Or are we transplanted extraterrestrials left to colonize Earth?……

First of all, we are genetically altered versions of Andromedans and Earth primates. The planet Earth was first used as a source of minerals and other natural resources, a mining planet used for its richness in many minerals and substances depleted on the planet of our origin…..The first people of Earth were not human. They were of an ancestry millions of years old and from many light years away. These beings were very spiritual, are very spiritual, and had an extremely advanced culture of their own on other planets…..When the population of Earth was created, Earth had been through the Jurassic and other evolutionary processes which resulted in the rise of mammals…..The Andromedans saw the potential for Earth as a new colony….Earth gave them the opportunity to refine the species more because the primate, the most sophisticated human-like animal, was a social and emotional creature. These social and emotional qualities were what Andromedans view as a special aspect, a part their own species that had been lost over thousands of years of evolution.

The entry takes two pages, single spaced, so I won’t type the whole thing here. It goes on to say that it took the Andromedans a long time to perfect their genetic modification – lots of trial and error. They ended up only manipulating a few genes and created Homosapien but he was lacking culture, social structure, and norms and values, which took generations of evolution without interference. So they deposited them in pockets around the Earth and left them to “evolve” without interference. The longer humans were left untouched, unguided, the harder it became to interfere in their evolutionary development.

I go on to say:

Now, we humans are in a state of change. Our biology is changing. Evolution is bringing us back to that spiritual center we once had. Our emotions are causing us to feel stagnant. Human biological needs are met through industrialize society. There is no longer the urge to survive as in the past. So, the time has come to awaken the spiritual side. The genes inserted by the Andromedans are now becoming activated. More and more people are experiencing psychic phenomenon. Soon, the Andromedans will visit Earth again to take note of our progression. When they do see we are approaching an age of spiritual enlightenment and telepathic communication, they will make themselves known to us once again. At first there will be more sightings of unusual aircraft and electromagnetic interference. Later, they will actually make contact and reestablish the ties we once had.

Their ultimate goal, and one we should not fear, is to rejoin the human population in order to add the component of emotion into their species. We are what they hope to become. Once we reach that period of spiritual enlightenment and telepathic thought, they will return to complete that goal.

Now, if you are like me, you are likely reading this with disbelief and then thinking, “This is complete B.S.”. Maybe so. I cannot prove any of it, but at the time this information flowed out of me with such ease and clarity that I had no doubt there was truth to it. This was also before I had ever heard of any of the E.T. information on the web. I actually still know very little because every time I try to research it I feel repelled by it. It is also interesting to me that Atlantis was a colony established by the Andromedans.

Pleiades

Fast forward to May, 2004. I have since met Steven and for a time another guide named Amoradon. He tells me he is from the Pleiades and provides me with quite a bit of information which I find fascinating.

Here are some of the things he tells me:

I was discussing spirit guides with Amoradon. He told me that the council is a group of spirit guides who assist Earth Travelers (Steven has always called me an Earth Traveler and his term for a guide is Companion Traveler – I now find this interesting as well).

Me: Does everyone who travels Earth have a council?

Amoradon: No. Only those specified in the Great Plan are allowed to counsel with the council.

Me: What is the Great Plan?

Amoradon: It’s God’s plan for humanity.

Me: Is there only one plan?

Amoradon: Yes.

Me: Are the members of the Council also Earth Travelers?

Amoradon: No. They are those to which we go to seek knowledge here at Home – Pleiadia. They have lived many lives and have had many life lessons learned. To pass on their knowledge is considered a great privilege.

The conversation goes on but doesn’t make much sense to me. He mentions the Council of Pleadia and the Elders and going “beyond God”. He defines “beyond God” as “the planes of existence which surround God. It ‘exists”‘ where God is NOT. We are God, ‘existence’ is the womb of God. God grows, expands, and gives birth to new Gods (us). We are of God and of all other Gods”.

Not long after this conversation, I am taken while OOB to a place that is beyond beautiful and am told it is the Pleiades. I have various visions of my guide wearing an interesting mesh outfit. I get such clarity in my visions that I even draw them in a notebook.

Eventually I become overwhelmed by all of this and ask to not be shown or told anymore about the Pleiades or Andromeda.

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Trapped Energy

I couldn’t sleep last night. My mind was quite active and my body was as well. I could not keep still!

Somehow I managed to drift off to sleep and had an odd, semi-lucid dream about energy work. I awoke from this dream feeling very off and fidgety. It is hard to describe really what I was feeling as I have not ever really felt it before. Yet, I somehow knew what was wrong without knowing how I knew.

Trapped Energy

When I woke up from the semi-lucid dream state I was in, I was overly warm. I won’t say hot but I felt an intensity of energy that was pulsating in different areas on my body. This weird sensation seemed to generate a heat from within that made me very uncomfortable. The heat was not so much physical as it was spiritual, but I did feel warmer than normal.

The odd sensation made me feel the need to move and squirm. I guess I thought it would help but it didn’t. The more I moved, the more uncomfortable I got.

I was suddenly hit with the idea that I needed to focus on the energy and see where it was in my body. When I did this, I felt energy in spots all over my body. I felt it mostly in my lower body and abdomen. What is odd is that the energy would be in a certain spot and then jump to another spot. It was like I had polka dots of energy all over my body and they were lighting up and then going out only to transfer to another spot.

Recognizing that I needed to do something with this strange, haphazard energy, I got up out of bed and sat in a chair. I planted my feet firmly on the ground and focused on sending energy from my crown down into my feet. I did this for quite some time, visualizing a flow of energy down my spine and into the ground. As I did this, the fidgety feeling got less and less. After about five minutes, my eyes began to droop and I felt very relaxed. It had worked!

When I got back into bed I felt the energy was still not settled like it should be. I asked for assistance and felt the need to do Reiki on myself. I placed my hands on my midsection, where most of the energy still lingered, and focused on pulling energy out with one hand and pushing on the energy with the other. I eventually felt I should place one hand, my right one, palm up. When I did this, I felt the energy subside even more.

As this was happening, I felt energy settle over the top of my head around my third eye and up to my crown. I felt like I was wearing an energy helmet. I knew this meant I was receiving healing from my guides. Thank you!

Then the energy in my midsection intensified over my root and second chakras. It was a bit painful in my lower back. I just continued to focus on moving the energy out.

I felt all at once that I needed to focus on bringing energy in from my crown, so I moved my hands to my head. I did this for a little while and then felt I needed to use my hands to push the energy down. So I went over my entire body with my hands in a sweeping motion, pushing the energy down past my knees. I did this about six times.

Finally, I felt the need to move the energy out from both sides of my body. So I started in the center and with the same sweeping motion moved the energy to the side and then down. I did this about three times.

Feeling balanced and calm, I was able to easily fall asleep. I now understand why some people who experience this weird energy feeling find they need to sleep on the floor. I wonder if what I felt was what some people call “vibrations”? I could feel a buzzing within the dots of energy but it was not like the vibrations I get when about to go OOB.

Symptom Update

  • Ringing in ears
  • Popping in ears
  • Skin irritation/dryness
  • Vivid dreams
  • Energy fluctuations
  • Trapped energy
  • Restlessness
  • Moodiness

I have either a ringing or popping in my ears daily now. It is like I am changing altitude when I get the popping and the ringing is very slight, almost unnoticeable. The restlessness has been more intense. Yesterday I went on three walks and I have been feeling more inclined to exercise, feeling it is needed now more than ever. After last night’s weird energy issue, I can see why I was drawn to be outside so much that day.

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Information Transfer

I almost forgot something very important that happened this morning.

Information Transfer

A little bit of background first. Last night, prior to going to sleep, I began to wonder about what was to come next. I again asked to be shown and given more detail about what exactly I am suppose to be doing right now. I also asked for healing because my collar bone on the right has been catching and becoming quite painful. My guide responded to the first question by telling me, “There is more information, information you have yet to process”. I did not question this as it appeared so obvious. Then he said to the latter request, “Done”.

At some point, during an in-between state that I often find myself in, I became aware that I was doing something odd. I don’t recall exactly when this was during the night but I recall it quite vividly. I will try to describe it the best I can.

I became aware of reaching up above my head into “space” and pulling down energy. I could see my glowing yellow astral hands and astral arms reaching up, grabbing the energy and pulling it down. I then placed this energy inside my energy body, specifically at my crown. I don’t recall there being specific information in this process, only that the energy had density and light and color. The color of this energy was dark, almost black but it was surrounded by light and when it came into my energy body it was absorbed quickly and the dense darkness evaporated.

I completed one cycle of taking energy and integrating it into my own and then went on to another. It was like I was taking bites of food, putting them into my mouth and slowly chewing on them. Bite after bite after bite. I don’t know how many times I did it but eventually my consciousness became too much and I “woke up” suddenly within an energy transfer, astral eyes wide and mind wondering what was going on.

In awe, I looked above at the space where I was getting these dense, dark energy balls. It appeared to be four or five feet directly above my head. I sensed a presence above me as well. It was also dark and hard to make out. I could tell it had human features and was much taller than a human.

My first thought was that I was in communication with something not of this universe. I immediately shut down that thought because it seemed ridiculous. Plus, I didn’t want to fall victim to the extraterrestrial hype that is plastered all over the internet.

But what was it? And what was I doing?

The only explanation I have come up with relates back to what my guide told me prior to sleep:  “There is more information, information you have yet to process”. I suspect that this exchange was more than just energy, it was information. I was slowly taking it in and integrating it. I wish, though, that I remembered more. I guess I will add it to my list of unknowns.