Tag Archives: spiritual

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Missing the Missing Piece

So it seems the energy has shifted once again. This time I felt it shift yesterday, mid-morning. I had a knot in my solar plexus and knew something was about to happen. I hate that feeling.

The day was okay considering I kept myself busy. I drove to my Mom’s with my three children and we spent a lot of time outdoors. It was a brilliant day in Texas. Spring is in the air and the temps are superb! Yet throughout this visit I felt sucked dry of energy and lethargic. All I wanted to do was hide in the house but when I did that I would become restless. So it was out in the sunshine for me.

Thankfully, I was completely alert and without brain fog while driving. However, since my mood had shifted, I did not feel like singing along to my music like I usually do. Life just seemed empty, as did I. Ugh.

When I went to bed I asked for clarity on some things. I had returned once again to feeling like my life was incomplete; that I was incomplete. I hate that feeling and it has haunted me all of my life. There is nothing worse than to feel a piece of you has been lost; like there is a gaping hole inside your heart that nothing can fill.

 

The Missing Piece

I had a long conversation with my Team during the night and woke up at 4am extremely sad and asking why I couldn’t exit this life. It all felt too hard. I didn’t want to feel the emptiness anymore. How can anyone live with such a feeling?! How had I lived with the feeling for so long?

I knew I had tried to fill the hole with everything imaginable – possessions, relationships, children, careers, hobbies, etc. Nothing ever filled it, it just made it less painfully obvious. I also know this hole had been present in all my past lives. Where was the missing piece? How do I get it back?

I fell to sleep and entered a dream in which I was inside a person’s apartment. It was a tiny apartment and very clean – everything in its place. It was tiny like a guest house or maybe an efficiency apartment. The occupant arrived and caught me there. He was young and fearful. At first he was blonde and fair but then he turned dark haired and familiar to me.

For some reason I went up to him and began to tell him about himself. He was reclusive – like a hermit. He did this to avoid others and their emotions as he was an empath. He preferred animals because they did not judge and only offered pure love and acceptance. I reached out and grabbed both his hands and looked him directly in the eyes and asked him to “read” me. He wouldn’t. So I told him more about himself and explained why he was feeling what he was feeling. I remember feeling like he and I were very similar. I told him some of his future but while doing so I could see the words I was saying scripted on a holographic screen in front of me. The words vanished and I heard, “System overload. Simulation terminated.” It was really weird!

Then I saw a group of people on the sideline – like an audience. I went to join them and knew we were a “group”. I remember associating us with super heroes calling us the Avengers (lol). The young boy was part of our group but not yet ready to join us.

When I awoke I could feel the emptiness inside very strongly and felt a bubble of energy from my root chakra down to my knees. Then I burst into tears.

I really, really hate the feeling. My understanding is that this missing piece is me missing my Wholeness. I miss Home. It is extremely noticeable right now.

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Valentine’s Day Creative Streak

Yesterday was spectacular energy-wise for me. I was overflowing with creative energy and my heart chakra was so full of love that I felt I felt I would burst. I have never felt so connected!

I rarely paint, yet I felt the need to paint what I saw that morning and did so very quickly and effortlessly. There were more paintings wanting to come out, but my family needed me and I could not indulge in painting more than one. The one above is a painting of the ball of light I saw in my vision that morning. I couldn’t get it out of my head. It is far from a realistic interpretation of my vision, but I did my best. 🙂

I also had light language symbols in my head all day. One in particular that I never got around the painting. I don’t know if I will be able to today because all my kids are home today (school holiday) making it very difficult to do things for myself.

The creative streak also had me making videos. I think I made three one after the other yesterday. I hid in the bathroom to get privacy and avoid interruption. LOL

This morning I am still feeling the energy and my heart chakra continues to feel full of a warmth and love beyond words. I am told today is a “rest” day. The energies will once again peak next Thursday into Friday. I have already been warned and now, so have you. 🙂

 

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The Fragmented Self

There was much behind-the-scenes work going on last night, not just for me but many others. We are preparing for the ultimate shift, one in which we will be completely transformed. How many are going through this? I am unsure. All I know now is that my soul group are all going through this together. Some are a bit slower than others, but we are all transforming and at lightning speed, too.

I received a clearer understanding of my particular situation. I just woke up knowing it. My transformation is best termed a “walk-in” but the meaning of this was clarified for me (thank goodness!).

I am integrating a higher aspect. This kind of walk-in is very common and usually temporary. However, I feel my particular case is more permanent as there will be a complete exchange of one aspect (the old) with the other (the new). Currently I am “shedding” the layers that compose the “old” me. I have been asked to return to my past – to review memories, journals, etc. If you wish to follow this life review, you can visit my YouTube channel as I am making videos of what I find along the way.

I realized that this is part of the shedding process. A life review of sorts, preparing me for the exchange. It involves more healing and letting go. It is getting easier as I progress, too. I have been doing this healing for a  very, very long time.

The Fragmented Self

A memory from long ago surfaced this morning. I had previously been told by my Companion that I was “fragmented” and later referred to this as my “Fragmented Self”. Essentially, when life gets tough – the tough run and hide (lol) – or at least I do. When there is trauma, a part of Us splits off. This is coping mechanism and very well known in psychology. It was explained to me that I have to retrieve these fragments in order to become Whole. Some call this soul retrieval. I just call it hard work. lol

 I wrote about it in my blog on July 26, 2011. Here is what I wrote:

At some point, a part of me fragmented away from my self in order to create a me that would survive in this body and do well in life. Unfortunately, the memory of that event is strung out over many years [and lifetimes] and it will take time to regain. But with that memory will come clarity. The clarity is the de-fragmentation of my self. I have already felt the  beginnings of it. Tiny moments of complete and utter calmness and knowingness. It is beautiful. And I intend to get to the point where that calmness and clarity will stay. I intend to reunite myself with myself. I think I am on the right path, too.

All this time I have been retrieving fragments. All this time I have been healing a gaping wound that I have carried with me life after life.

I have experienced the return of these fragments over time. At first I just noticed something was “different” but in recent years I have actually felt these fragments return. These fragments are parts of me on other paths as well – my multidimensional aspects. They shattered and went other directions, into a different “times” or dimension. All of this also involves the collapsing of timelines. It is like all of who I thought I was, who I could be and who I am, is coalescing. As I get more parts, as the pieces come together, I begin to Remember more and this snowballs and more and more parts are returned to Me. It is really a beautiful thing.

Rebirth

In my dreams last night I was preparing for my rebirth. There was much discussion on what was coming. Unfortunately, I recall that the present personality that is in charge was not made fully aware. Thus, I was “sleeping” through much of the conversation. I recall snuggling up inside a sleeping bag while my “class” got on a bus to go on a field trip. There were moments when I tried very hard to wake myself up but the heaviness of sleep kept beckoning and I would ultimately give into it. It was during this “sleep” that the majority of the conversations (negotiations) were taking place. I am told that this is for my own protection as I am not yet ready to fully participate.

Every day I feel a little more of the new me and little less of the old me.

There is a feeling of anticipation along with fear with all of this. Who will I be when this is all over and done with? Also, what do I do then? What will my path be? So many questions arise. Yet at the same time I know that this exchange is ultimately the whole reason for this life and the ones leading up to it. I will be reborn into wholeness.

 

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Today’s Energy

Just an FYI – I won’t be posting all my videos here. So check out my YouTube channel if you are interested in other ones. 

So the energy is intense today isn’t it? I’ve been riding the wave all day long and on one of those energy high’s I love so much. We are in the midst of an intense upgrade if you haven’t noticed. Looks like my Team wasn’t kidding when they warned me of its coming 8 days ago. Soon = Soon, this time around. lol

I’ve discovered that, for me at least, focusing on my heart center at this time is not the way to go. If I focus there I go into brain-dead mode and feel like I am floating around in La-La land. No good. I have kids to take care of and life to live. I can’t function in La-La land. So, I’ve been outside most of this beautiful Spring (yes I said Spring) day. It is near 80 degrees today in Texas with clear skies and blooming trees. That ground hog wasn’t joking when he said Spring was coming early!

Speaking of “ground” hogs (lol),I have been focusing all day on grounding, grounding, grounding. Yet even though I keep doing grounding things – being outside, exercise, essential oils, staying hydrated, eating grounding foods – I am still feeling my energy is all over the place. Thankfully I am at home and not interacting with groups of people or trying to have two-way communication with an adult. 😉

Yet I am still on this amazing high and feel so full of energy and information that I am ready to burst. I feel like a can of soda that has been shaken and shaken and shaken and when opened will spew it’s contents all over the place. This upgrade is indeed intense and I can’t seem to channel all this extra energy no matter how hard I try! If you watch the video, though I sound out of it (brain fog), my eyes are so dang blue! I don’t have a clue why they did that other than to blame all this crazy energy. The whole time I was trying to talk in the video I was spacing out and forgetting things. Talk about La-La land!

Oh, I just remembered. I was told, two days in a row now (keep forgetting) that there are “craft” of the inter-dimensional kind above Ecuador, Spain and Paris, France. I don’t know why They tell me such things. When I asked why, They told me these areas were areas that need attention – unstable energy that looks like jagged lines of green and yellows. Apparently the grid is still in flux and needing reinforcement. How this correlates to what is going on globally is beyond me. I don’t have time to watch the news and if I did my I would likely go into zone-out mode. I would love to hear if you all know, though. Fill me in. 😉

 

 

 

 

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ReUnification Begins

I was awakened around 5:30am (didn’t look at the clock until later) by a conversation I was having in the in-between. I saw very distinctly two words and also heard them. One word was “Traveler” and the other was “Wolf”. The words that went with them were “We are Travelers”. The two words were connected by a golden thread, as if they were one in the same.

This woke me for I remembered suddenly that wolves had been brought up many times previously but I had forgotten all about it. I remembered distinctly seeing a lone, gray wolf who was looking for his pack and feeling the pack was significant. I had meant to look up the symbolism of the wolf but had totally forgotten all about it. This was a couple of weeks ago!

Thessalonian

Now wide awake, I felt a presence and knew a member of my Team was with me. I didn’t immediately recognize him as I was tired. I drifted into the in-between.

Soon I was seeing something very distinctly alien in my vision. I saw immense arches layered over arches that were a bluish-gray in color. They towered hundreds of feet into the air. Behind them was a fuchsia and purple sky with light gray clouds and streaks of yellow throughout. I recognized this place instantly and it brought me out of the in-between.

Fully aware now, I still sensed the presence and exclaimed to him, “I know that place! Where is that? What is it!?”

I knew and heard the answer at the same time. These arches are some kind of communication tower, or relay station. The location was difficult to come by but I heard Vega as a reference point. Whatever it is it is absolutely beautiful.

Wide awake now, I began to receive information very quickly and it was quite overwhelming. I tried to grasp it mentally but could not. I remember images of very square looking objects, like craft, which were white and massive. I was only able to bring back one word – Thessalonian. I do not know if this is the name of the craft or if I am meant to read the books of the Bible.

Rather than read both books of the Bible, I looked up summaries of 1st Thessalonians and 2nd Thessalonians. They both address the second coming of Christ. I find it interesting that both books say “Christ will return in the clouds”. I should probably read the actual books, though.

Thoroughly stunned, I tried to settle my energy and relax into my heart. My mind was going a million miles an hour so it was difficult. However, I was able to achieve this. That is when it got really strange.

ReUninification

The presence who I had been with must have moved in closer because I was suddenly aware of seeing him face to face. His head was very large and he was most definitely of another world. I could see that the head seemed to balloon out on either side, like the hemispheres of the brain were emphasized. His eyes, nose and mouth were very small in comparison. His coloring was light, I want to say it was grayish but it was difficult to tell as I totally freaked out and lost the image.

I did not freak out from what I saw as much as I did from what I felt. When I saw him I also felt him. A massive amount of energy began to move up my body from my feet and wrapped around me as it progressed upward. I had a double reaction to this. The first was complete recognition and overwhelming love and the second was complete terror – the kind that either glues you to one place so you cannot move or makes you run as fast as you can in the other direction.

While this split reaction is occurring I am experiencing every kind of emotion imaginable and feeling warm energy wrap around and fill my root, second, third and heart chakras in succession. With each chakra I felt the corresponding emotions related to it. And though I could feel each chakra one by one I also felt them all at once. The emotions are indescribable and all the while I am feeling both overwhelming love and frantic terror at the same time!

The most memorable feeling was this complete, unavoidable desire to be with this Being – to try and crawl into his arms and then into him. This is occurring along with all the physical and energetic sensations. I cannot run but I desperately want to. And I am WIDE AWAKE.

Just when I think I cannot take anymore of it, the energy withdraws. I am not relieved, though. I want the feelings to stay. Whatever happened left me wanting for more. I could care less about the terror as it was so small in comparison to everything else.

And I knew who the Being was after this. Without a doubt it was my Companion. And I remember that he once told me that he would integrate with me from the lower chakras “next time” (he had done so from the upper ones prior, this was in May last year).

This is part of the ReUnion of Us. Wow-wee is all I can say. Damn! And at the same time I am terrified still. I want to run, but to where? It’s not like I can run from him!!!

And this ReUnification is not over. There will be more.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I was crying through the entire energetic exchange. They were mainly tears of joy.

 

 

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Heart Sensations Return

I’ve begun this post several times and each time deleted it in its entirety. I’m not sure exactly why, though.

There has been a strange energy today following me around. It is not bad or good, just shifty, like the energy is about to take a leap forward. I checked the K-index and there is an active storm but nothing that would normally cause me to notice.

Perhaps it has to do with what happened last night. Last night is what I originally was trying to post about and kept deleting. I will summarize and just say that I had some intense heart chakra sensations. These didn’t hurt. In fact, they were the good kind and went all the way from front to back. It was like someone placed a tube right through my heart center and energy poured through it.

The heart sensations came with specific thoughts and knowingness. It happened at a time when I was speaking with someone, a kind of counselor. I was telling her about things I could not sort out in my life – very personal things. This is when the heart sensations kicked in. I was lucky I did not burst into tears. I was able to get out of the conversation in time. Then I was just in shock for a while. I had not expected my heart to burst open like that. I had done such a good job of shutting it down – or so I’d thought.

Then, after I returned home and the kids were in bed my heart started doing it again and I was overcome with an intense shaking all over my body. I am familiar with the feeling. It is something I had to deal with every time I did a mediumship reading and made contact with Spirit. It is like their energy is too much for me. It can get so bad that my teeth chatter – thankfully it did not get that bad last night. The shaking can also happen when I am talking with another person about deeply personal things. I have never quite figured out why it happens, though.

I wondered why I was having the shaking. I was not tuning into Spirit and not talking to anyone, so it made no sense. I felt my Team near and I wondered if maybe it was coming from them. As if to answer my question, I heard my guide ask me to focus on how I felt. When I did this, I could sense a blockage at my heart level. I was told that I was resisting the energy – the heart energy – and that I have been avoiding something.

And then the shaking was really bad.

And then it was just…gone as was the heart energy.

When I awoke this morning my dreams were instantly gone as soon as I tried to recover them. Frustrated, I tried to feel what happened in the night and knew I had agreed yet again to something, but I don’t know what. My heart chakra lit up again but faded not long after. With it, I was asked if I was willing to accept what it was telling me. I said I was, but honestly I am not sure about any of it. I don’t know what it is telling me, or at least I don’t think I do. Honestly, I am afraid of knowing.

Right before I got out of bed my Team again reminded me of the upgrade that is soon to come. I was told this time that it may frighten me. Then I saw a visual of light pouring down into my crown chakra and going all the way down through all my chakras and into my feet. From the looks of it, it didn’t seem so bad, but then if they say it might scare me, well, it probably will.

It has me wondering now if the strange feeling I’ve had all day has anything to do with this coming upgrade. I guess I’ll find out.

Meet-Up

There is one other thing. A group I am a part of on FB is planning a meeting in Mt. Shasta, California in May. I have been following the preparations from the beginning. Yesterday I decided, out of the blue, that I should go. I told my husband about it and, strangely, he had no objections. When I communicated today with the contact about arranging my flight my heart chakra was blazing with energy. Even typing about it now makes my heart light up. I got thoroughly excited about going and my energy went sky high.

Then, in the afternoon, I began to doubt my decision about attending because I only know the people who will be there via the internet. I also began to panic over something very odd. I had this strange feeling that if I went I would not want to come home. Then an internal panic button went off and I got a strange split in two feeling. It was really odd and I almost thought I was about to go OOB right then and there.

After this happened the heart energy ceased – well up until now anyway. I am wondering if this is any indicator of what it is that I am not willing to know/accept. Part of me thinks it is and when I try to consider it, the fear returns. All I want to do is cuss a million cuss words just considering that possibility.

 

 

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Adviser Adzekiel and the Requiem Room

I asked to project again but knew that a break was needed. My body needed rest as did my mind. So no projections last night.

Adviser Adzekiel 

I was awakened several times last night from children. Each time I had that lovely drowsy feeling that lulls one back into sleep. However, I also have knowing that I had been busy in my sleep and tried to retrieve my dreams as proof. This is when one of my guides interrupted, telling me, “Remember not your dreams but what is behind them.”

During one of my early morning wakings, after just having dream in which I had been at a university receiving my test results, I awoke and once again attempted to retrieve my dreams. I felt the presence of my guide and as soon as I would attempt a retrieval the dream would vanish and the feeling with it. It was very odd but not an unfamiliar experience.

This guide remained ever present and quite big, though not intrusive. His energy was very gentle and not at all dominant. It was as if he were a passive observer but I know better than that. At one point I asked him who he was and he gave me the name, “Adzekiel”. I was not familiar with the name and asked it to be repeated because I didn’t think the “d” should be there. However, that is the name and it was confirmed.

He showed me who he was visually and I was surprised to see a long flowing, white robe. Around his neck he wore a golden sash. I was immediately reminded of an OBE where I met up with several individuals who appeared similar. I could not make out his face but I saw dark hair. I asked where his black robe was because I remembered black. He said, “I can wear black if you like, but I usually wear white.” I got the feeling this is because of his role. I asked if he always appeared male. He said, “We can appear however we choose.” I asked him why he chose male. He answered, “Because you prefer it.” I then asked, “What do you prefer to look like?” Then I saw his image change and his hair became long and blonde and he was very obviously female. I questioned this and he said, “We [all of us] are both male and female.” I knew this already but still it was nice to hear.

I asked what his role is. “Are you on my Council?” He said, “I am part of your ‘Team’ – as you call it.” Trying to figure out exactly what he did and why he was wearing a different color, I asked more questions. In the end it was determined that he was more of an adviser to me than my guides in black. Those in black are involved in my life plan on a daily basis while he is called in at certain times when advisement is needed. He also stated he was an adviser to many others, others not just of my group. He told me, “You will find my name is used by others [channels].” I got the feeling he was a member of the Council, but he avoided this term and used another, which I cannot recall now.

Requiem Room

In my dream I had been in a library-like setting. It had wood walls with tall bookshelves and comfortable seating. I was with a small group of individuals and we were discussing our test results and our classes. The environment and discussion reminded me very much of a university. I had successfully passed my final test for “History” and was progressing to the next class. There was a feeling of relief on my part – like I no longer had to worry about some past pattern repeating. A male student who was part of my group did not receive such great news. I saw his test returned to him with marks indicating areas that needed improvement. I felt very sorry for him and knew he would remain in his class for a while longer.

I asked where we had been and was told it was of no consequence. However, I heard the word, “Requiem” pop into my head straight away and knew we had been in the Requiem Room. I could not understand why the term requiem was being used to describe the room. In my mind it was a piece of music. However, I found that it’s Latin origins indicate that it means “Rest”. This makes perfect sense and is so much better than being told we were in the “Rest Room”. lol 😉

New Level

Adzekiel announced to me that I was moving to “the next level”, whatever that means. As you know, I have heard this before. I move to another level often it seems. The “briefing” I received after this announcement came in the form of me “feeling” the information and interpreting that feeling with my mind.

My dream was first to be “felt” out. I was again instructed to not focus on the dream but to Remember what was behind the dream. It was easier than I realized and I knew what my “Test” was and why I passed it. Apparently, the feelings and urges I had pertaining to finances and needing a job were part of this test. I had an overwhelming knowingness that these feelings were old patterns being released, some mine and some the “groups” (world’s). Also, my actions were being observed. Would I resist and ignore my “instructions”? Or would I give into them? I did resist, somewhat, but ultimately I was open to finding work and did search many times for it. However, none ever felt right. So this was the test that I passed.

With this understanding I felt something had shifted and I no longer needed to find work. My husband would have advances in his work (he has been very unhappy) and my focus could remain on my spiritual journey. Yay!! Writing is the focus and I have been asked if I would be open to writing a book. I am, since I have already written one, but no further instructions have been given. There was a nudge from Adzekiel at this time to proceed with creating a new blog outlining my walk-in experiences. I felt this nudge strongly and was told this would be “foundation work”. He told me, “There will be many walk-ins”. I have little time – less than 7 months – for the plan is for great change is to happen around my 40th birthday and they pertain to the walk-in. Woah.

I knew the male class member in my dream had not been completely successful. I felt he was close to me but not “family” and learned quickly that my classmates and I were not part of the same soul family. There were two men and three woman, including me, in our small class. Classes are organized and dispersed often and members are picked based upon the similarity of need. My soul family may or may not be included depending on their need/level. Interesting!

 

 

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We are Yeshua

When I awoke from the OBE the three Beings were to my left. I saw them each as light but I knew immediately that they were E.T.s and that my OBE had been with them. They were the “midget men” who I knew were also the Prophet. I asked them, “Who are you?” They responded as one, “We are Yeshua.”

So much commenced after this that I am not sure where to start and I will most likely forget to include everything. So forgive me in advance. I will do my best as I know this is important for more than just me.

These Beings are very ancient and they communicated as such. They have been the caretakers of Earth from the beginning. They are not those who participated in the seeding of Earth, though. They made this very clear. They are of the group who have been called The Many, The Elohim, Melchizedek and other names I cannot think of at the moment. I asked why they always give me Biblical names and was told, “They are Our names.”

They told me they traveled from a different time but also showed me what this looked like. It was literally like they stepped into this time but it would be like they traveled a very, very long time to get here. I suspect what I was shown was them coming from their dimension to ours, but it literally looked like they just crossed over some kind of barrier, like a line in space. It was a dark line. They were on one side and we were on the other.

I asked what they were doing and was told, “You can reproduce better now.” I thought back, “Reproduce? I don’t want to reproduce. I’m fixed.” But then I realized this was their way of saying “sex” and understood that they view sex for what it is – reproduction. It is nothing but that. Curious.

We discussed how my previous lucid dream was my conscious mind’s way of interpreting the events prior to the OBE. I was on board a craft somewhere and was witnessing someone else have some kind of procedure done. I was told that I have a disgust for “reproduction” and that I needed to remove it for it was not accurate and something I picked up from the incarnation cycle. I recognized this disgust right away. My dream was just a reflection of it.

When I met the woman in my dream who was preparing to connect her laptop, I was told that I would be meeting with these Beings. For some reason it scared me and I started to cry. They explained that my human reaction is fear first – thus my reaction. They said they will help me find acceptance and understanding. For now the scenes I recall will be comfortable and at an acceptable level. Eventually they will be less and less so, but only to the extent that I can handle it.

I recall that the light I was looking at was the light used in whatever procedure they were doing. I recall seeing six 1 inch cubed crystals, similar to a dream I recently had. I didn’t see it in the OBE but recalled it almost immediately after I woke. These crystals were used on me but I am not sure what for.

This procedure is not the upgrade that is coming. It was a preparation for it. When I was told this my heart chakra began to light up and I was enveloped in an energy hug that fully surrounded my entire mid-section. I felt that there would be more heart chakra energy with the next upgrade. I melted into it for a bit, enjoying it.

The maps and diagrams I saw were almost forgotten but it was like they reminded me of them because the memory just appeared in my head. I tried and tried to remember the information but it was not forthcoming. I knew I was not meant to know. The information was about the agenda of Team Dark and the harvesting of humans. There is a purposeful increase in population beyond the ability of the Earth to support. It is disturbing but I am not sure why.

I asked why they were visiting me. They said to me, “You are special. You were chosen out of a group of volunteers”. I have been hearing that I am “special” ever since my first communications with my guide. I hate hearing it. So I said to them, “But there are a lot of us.” They responded, “Not as many as you might think.” They then said I was given “gifts”. This I understood to be my spiritual abilities but I did not ask. They explained that I needed to be “clear”. I believe this was what they had been doing in my OBE. I have specific judgments towards sex and intimacy that need to be sorted.

We also talked about the exchange that was soon to take place. It will occur after I am “cleared” (not really sure what that means). The exchange involves another aspect taking over and the current me going into stasis. I asked where I would go and was shown what appeared to be a pod made out of a fabric-like material with a zipper that went all the way around. I saw inside of it a woman – me – asleep and holding an infant. I understood that for me what happens while the other aspect is in control will appear like a very vivid dream. Interesting. I was told also that as they begin to allow me to retain memories of my interactions with them that they will surround me in a “calm” unlike anything I have ever experienced. I got a visual of being surrounded in what looked like a silken cocoon of energy. I am open that that. 🙂

There is more but this is getting too long and I have to get on with my day. I will write more later.

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Thinking with the Heart

This post is mostly for me so I don’t forget yet again my experiences prior to and during sleep.

The Dr

Yesterday the guide who I call “The Dr” came to visit and told me it was time to clear the toxins from my system so that I will be ready for the next step. He explained how the toxins pull my energy to Earth and create blockages which in turn slow my vibration. He said it is very important that I keep my vibration high so as to not suffer the residual effects of the next shift in energy which is approaching soon. The shift will occur regardless of whether I heed his advice or not.

Nightly Shifts

For the past few nights I have been experiencing something strange prior to sleep. I always settle down to meditate prior to sleep and lately I have not had much in the way of energy sensations, heart or third-eye pulling. It will be hard to explain because when I try to remember what occurred my mind tries to blank out on me and I feel distant. It’s like I can’t get my mind to focus or do what it is suppose to! It is driving me nuts.

Last night, though, when this shift, for lack of a better word, occurred I suddenly remembered the last few nights all at once and thought, “I need to remember this!” Then, as I tried to remember, the memory began to recede. It makes no sense!

What I remember happening is that I would one minute be laying in bed with a clear mind focusing on my heart and the next I would feel a strange energy come into me from all around. It felt like being swallowed up in energy except it was gentle energy, not scary at all and almost like being picked up and swaddled in a mother’s arms. As soon as this energy swept me up I was in another place and talking with someone in-depth. I have no idea what we were talking about now but I was most definitely somewhere else and feeling very different from myself.

Of course, when I realized what happened I dropped this other personality or Self and was back in my current awareness wondering what had happened while simultaneously knowing this was not an isolated event. I had been doing it for some time!

What is totally exasperating about all of this is that every time I would recognize what was happening I would feel intensely drowsy and begin to lose the memory while also drifting off to sleep. Sometimes the energy sensations would resume but I have very little memory of this so am not sure.

I suspect I am shifting into one of my multidimensional selves but I can’t really be sure because of the memory loss.

Thinking with the Heart

In these brief impaired memory moments I am noticing another strange development. When I am in my heart space I am receiving full communications that I fully understand yet cannot put into words. If I try to put it into words the communication via my heart suddenly stops and my mind is empty. For example, my Companion sent me a full communication the yesterday quite unexpectedly. It was via my heart center and I felt an overwhelming love and giggled as a result. I had full understanding of what he had told me but was unable to process it via my mind. It was like I was being the communication. There was no possible way my mind could interpret it. All I recall of the interaction was that I responded to my Companion like I might respond to a new lover. Quite surprising!

When the shifts occur at night, this same type of situation arises which is why I believe my mind seems to “erase”. My habit is to immediately try to interpret my experiences via the mind. This cuts off the heart connection, thus blocking the “memory” of what occurred.

I am at a loss at to how to deal with this shift in perception. I seem unable to do much about it. In fact, I believe I am being schooled in how to use my heart as my primary processor of information. How curious! And I am not able to really get a grip on how this works. I am starting to, though, but I wonder, if we use only our heart to communicate, what then of the mind? What happens to language?

As I just asked that question I thought about light language and also how when I have these communications via the heart I want to move my entire body, kind of like swaying or dancing.

I am also reminded of something that happened the other night while I was in my “other Self”. I received instructions on how to communicate via tones. It was like the tones I heard in my ears but with separation, similar to Morse Code but this is not a good description. I even spent some time trying to figure out how to duplicate what I heard and believe I could if I had the right equipment. I remember thinking this was something I was suppose to do but then completely forgot about it. No surprise there! lol

 

 

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Purpose: Be Bright

The title of this post comes from my very cool, very “bright” and beautiful sister-in-law. She is not even 30 years old yet but so very wise and in-tune.

She and I got to spend some time together this weekend. She has always spoken with me about spiritual matters. This time she had questions about OBEs, spirit guides, and life purpose. We talked about all of those things and more. It was so nice and uplifting for me, but I could also tell that this time something “clicked” for her.

Somehow we got into a discussion about the “end of days”. She asked me what I thought about it and I told her everything and then some. We talked at length about Dolores Cannon’s books, which she had never heard of. She had also never watched Ancient Aliens nor had she really considered E.T. contact much.

At the end of our talk she said to me, “I know this is my first life.” She had 100% certainty. Then we talked about purpose for a little while. I told her about the three waves of volunteers and described my understanding of the first two – their ages, personalities, life struggles, etc. I did not talk much about the third wave because they are still so young and she was very interested in the 2nd wave volunteers anyway.

Our conversation kept getting interrupted by children (there were six total present all under the age of 7). She spent most of her time playing with my youngest and chasing him around the house. In between we would start up talking again. It was fun.

Our last communication was about purpose. She asked me what my purpose was. I told her,” When I think about why I am here I know it is to help”.  My sister-in-law then said, “When I think about why I’m here, I always think, ‘To be bright'” I said, “That sounds about right”. She then described how she works very hard when in social situations to send that “bright” energy to people. She said she never felt it worked. I said to her, “Maybe you are trying too hard? You will be bright just by Being.” She agreed.

You Are Not Alone

The memory of our conversation just suddenly came to me today along with the thought that there are many others like my sister-in-law who need to know that they are not alone in this journey. Others who are of the 2nd wave and are struggling to understand their purpose here while also feeling they do not belong. It is very difficult to be in that space, especially at this time with all the high energies and shifts upon us.

One thing that helped my sister-in-law, and she told me as much, was realizing that she is here to lead a seemingly “normal” life while touching and activating everyone she meets. Those who are like her often times don’t know they are even doing anything to help people. But they are. Because of this, some of them may struggle with feeling like they are not fulfilling their purpose since they don’t often see the results of their brightness. To know that they are impacting others makes a huge difference.

Afterthought

Something else popped into my memory while writing this post. While I was talking with my sister-in-law I kept getting comments on how I looked. Every woman present mentioned my face being red or “flushed”. I heard at least four times, “Did you get sunburned?” I looked in the mirror and thought I looked fine but I was very, very warm. Also, I looked really, really good despite being completely make-up free and having worked out at the gym a couple of hours before. The warm feeling and flush didn’t go away until it was time to leave. I have to admit it is weird that it coincided with such a spiritual discussion. It was almost like my energy field was intensified during that time. Perhaps I was “activating” her? Or her me? Or both? That would be really cool.